Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

God is never surprised by our surprises


Perhaps the most challenging moments of our lives come when we are surprised by events that rock our world: A medical diagnosis, the betrayal of a friend, losing our job or a loved one - whatever the cause, the surprises are surprises of pain, uncertainty, and often deep shock. In those moments, we need to remind ourselves that God is never surprised by our surprises; He knew about them long before they became known to us. He is never surprised and knows how He will redeem our situation for His eternal purposes.

Bad news that comes as a surprise is hard to cope with precisely because we have not had the time to come to terms with it - to process the news and its implications. It is precisely at those moments that we need to remember that God has had all of eternity past to know, understand, and anticipate the moment when we face our most significant uncertainty. The certainty of His knowledge and goodness is a game changer in our uncertainty. 


His certainty is expressed well in Psalm 139:6, where the psalmist writes, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Our surprises are never His surprises. In fact, if the events of our lives were written in his book before one of them came to be, the implication is that God's eternal purposes in our situations are sure and that what appears to be random events of fate to us is never so to God. For if He knew the events that would overwhelm us, He also knew beforehand how He would show His goodness and sovereignty in the midst of them. We cannot be sure of much in our lives, but we can be sure of Him.


As I reflect on the surprises I have encountered in my 58 years, I can see in retrospect much of how God used them to guide my journey. Some were not pleasant, and some were not fair, but what surprised me did not surprise Him, and He redeemed those events for His purposes in my life in amazing ways. It is that fact that gives me perspective when the surprises come. 


Leaders need to understand this principle in their leadership role. Our lives are filled with surprises that we did not anticipate. Yet the confidence that God is not surprised ought to give us a settled heart as we deal with those surprises. God is not panicked, and neither should we be.



Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thanksgiving as a lifestyle

Scripture is replete with admonitions to remember God's goodness to us and to live with hearts of thanksgiving. One of the most well known admonitions is found in Psalm 100:4 'Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." 

Even when we are living with uncertainty and anxiety we are admonished to live with an attitude of thanksgiving: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6). Our Lord wants us to choose thanksgiving as a lifestyle, not an occasional event.

Thanksgiving as a lifestyle allows us to:

-Live with optimism as we remember always the faithfulness of God and His amazing goodness to us

-Push back fear and anxiety as we are reminded of who God is and of His power to deal with our situation

-Live with joy every day as we are constantly reminded of all He has done and the promises He has given

-Be people of hope who infect others with hope 

-Live with extraordinary faith as we reflect on His work in our lives in the past 

A lifestyle of thanksgiving starts with a choice to continually and daily thank God for all He has done. That choice soon becomes a habit and that habit has a profound impact on our emotions, our joy, our outlook on life and how we view even the most difficult circumstances. And, it is infectious to those around us as we become purveyors of hope and faith. 

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Getting it all on the table

I recently sat through a meeting that was honest, hard, candid and helpful. It was honest and candid in that everyone had a chance to speak into the issues fully. It was hard because there were hard issues put on the table. It was helpful because what was inside and impacting the thinking of people toward one another was said, making it easier to deal with the real issues. 

Because there was goodwill toward one another there were no words spoken in anger but many with conviction. What really mattered was the mission of the organization and that was put at the center of the discussion. Everyone had a chance to speak and they did.

This kind of dialogue happens too seldom. We dance around issues, we pretend all is well and we don't say the truly honest things to one another. It is unfortunate because in the end the organization does not reach its full potential. Truth and honesty bring clarity and understanding while stuffing it causes ambiguity and misunderstanding. But it takes courage to put issues on the table and trust that it will be heard and not used against us. That is the mark of a healthy team. Easy? No! Freeing? Yes!

Life is too short to pretend or hide. And neither move the mission forward. People of goodwill, however can have this kind of candid dialogue because they care for one another and the mission and are willing to have the uncomfortable but necessary conversations to get there relationally and missionally. It may get tense at times but it does get the issues in the open so that they can be discussed and hopefully resolved.

Getting it on the table is not something to be feared but to be embraced. Without this there cannot be resolution. With it there can be.

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Moving from baggage to luggage

Think of baggage as those things that hold us back. It may be that we are running in the wrong lane, personal debt, unresolved issues or anything that unnecessarily weighs us down. It is all those things that create unnecessary dissonance in our lives and weight us down. All of us have baggage that we carry around.

Luggage on the other hand is what we take with us to help us in our travels to make the journey easier and more enjoyable. It is the skills we have, the relationships that fill us and the role we play when it is fruitful and enjoyable.

Here is the question: do you have more baggage in your life or luggage? To be more specific, what are the pieces of baggage that currently hold you back and keep you from being all God made you to be? What can you do to shed the baggage and exchange it for helpful luggage?

We pick up baggage over the course of life and it takes an intentional effort to relive ourselves of the baggage and therefore the burdens that it entails. Make a list of your baggage and then ask yourself what you can do to shed it or resolve it. A journey requires some well chosen luggage but not a lot of baggage. 

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.


Top blogs on conflict and reconciliation

Incarnation and reconciliation 

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Conflict: Walk toward the barking dog

Conflict avoidance creates greater conflict: Four ironies regarding conflict

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Church conflict: Finding the core issue and the common source

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Living in peace with one another

Conflict and problem avoidance create sick churches

Negotiating church conflict in a healthy manner

Church conflict, christian character and the reputation of Jesus

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.


Friday, November 21, 2014

Appealing to our vanity

From time to time I receive "notice" that I have been chosen as an outstanding contributor in some field and that upon the acceptance of my application (and significant fee) I may be approved to be included in this exclusive list of names to be listed in a fancy volume so that I can purchase it and put it on my shelf. 

Of course, this is not about my great accomplishments but someone making money but the fact that they publish said volumes year after year is indication that there is no shortage of vanity to take advantage of. My latest accomplishments seem to be in the field of HR which my own HR office would find highly comic, and highly suspect.

Studies show that we consistently overrate our abilities and wisdom and underrate out weaknesses and mistakes. No matter, we know better and often think of ourselves more highly than we should.

Those in Christian service who see success often start to buy the press they (we) receive. It is a dangerous path to walk down. The leaders I admire the most are the most ordinary of people, real people, who have not allowed anyone to place them on a pedestal, who discount the adulation they receive because they both know themselves well and know who gave them any gifts they possess. It is their humility and humanity (and these two go together) that endear them to others. 

Pride is one of the most often named sins in Scripture because God hates the haughty but loves the humble. The humble, after all, reflect the character of Jesus (Philippians 2). The humble reflect the character of God who has no need to be humble in any sense. As the beatitudes say, "blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth." I have made it an "unseen practice" when people are praising me to inwardly say, "Jesus it is all yours and any praise that comes to me is your deserved praise." I cannot claim credit for gifts that God gave me to steward. He was the source and His is the praise. It is why I am always uncomfortable in that situation.

It is easy to think we are humble. It is a lifelong discipline to stay humble, especially for those who are in the limelight. I will always remember the funeral of my mother in law, one of the most humble people I ever met. The place was packed. Not because she was somebody in circles that "mattered." Rather because from behind the scenes, she lived out her faith in humble acts of kindness that endeared her to all who came to her service. I receive accolades in this life. She may receive more of them in heaven. 

Guarding ourselves against vanity and practicing humility is one of the more important disciplines for those who end up in the lime light. 

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.