Many leaders need to redefine their definition of loyalty

It is not uncommon in conversations with leaders and their staff to have the issue of loyalty come up. I have heard many leaders say, "my highest value for staff is that they are loyal." That statement, however it is made begs several questions: loyal to what or whom and what is the operative definition of loyalty?

Whenever I hear leaders talk about loyalty as one of their highest values, yellow flags go up in my mind. For many leaders, loyalty means that staff will agree with them or if not at least not take issue with them. And, that they will follow the party line with others. Disagreement means that the staff member is not loyal and that becomes cause for mistrust in the best case and dismissal in the worst case. This definition usually reflects either narcissism or at least deep insecurity on the part of the leader. 

I actually deeply believe in loyalty but strongly disagree with the definition that many leaders have. First, the best loyalty is to the mission of the organization not simply to an individual. We require our staff to live within the philosophical boundaries of our organization. They include our mission, our guiding principles, our central focus and our culture. These are well known, clearly articulated and critical if we are going to achieve our God given mission. When loyalty is primarily to a central leader rather than to the mission of the organization, what happens when the leader leaves? Healthy leaders build a commitment to the mission rather than to themselves.

This has implications for the ability or lack of ability to have candid and robust dialogue over critical issues. When loyalty is defined as agreement with the leader, any disagreement is seen by him/her as a threat and a sign of disloyalty (a highly dysfunctional view of leadership and loyalty).

On the other hand, when loyalty is to the mission of the organization, candid feedback, robust dialogue and the clash of ideas is highly valued because all are committed to seeing the best for the organization and the mission they together are committed to. Thus one's definition of loyalty has a direct correlation on the ability of staff to speak their minds and be candid in their assessments. When loyalty is defined as agreement with the senior leader it shuts down discussion. When loyalty is defined as a commitment to the organizational mission, it invites discussion.

I once worked for a leader who did not appreciate disagreement of any sort. The result was that most individuals told him what he wanted to hear - to his detriment. There were several of us who simply told him the truth as we saw it and we were called the unholy trio. What he did not understand is that we had the best interests of both himself and the ministry in mind when we were candid. Several times I told him that I was in the wrong place if I could not express my views with him.

I want a loyal staff. I want them to be as passionate and loyal to what God has called us to be and do as I am. It is not a loyalty to me but a shared loyalty to a calling to reach the world with the Gospel. That means that we need the very best thinking and dialogue as to how to achieve that within our non-negotiable framework. Therefore we invite rather than squelch differing opinions. After all it is not about us but about the mission.

Posted from Washington DC


All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Church boards who live with their heads in the sand

More frequently than I like I receive calls from a church board member who gives me a litany of issues that are taking place in their church. All too often, as well, when I ask what the board has done about it the answer is "nothing." And they they will often say, "Can you help?"

I love to help churches but it astonishes me that boards often do not address known issues which are hurting their congregations. Let me give you some examples:

• A loss of staff over time because of a dysfunctional senior leader
• Toxicity on the staff because of an insecure senior leader
• A recalcitrant board member who does not allow the group to move forward
• A spiritual malaise in the church (which usually reflects a spiritual malaise on the board)
• Lack of clarity for ministry which usually means things don't go anywhere
• Bad decisions being made by senior leaders and the board does not have the courage to speak out
• Group think where differing opinions are not allowed or valued
• The poor treatment or firing of staff who don't agree with a senior leader
• A gradual but steady decline in attendance
• Lack of new people coming to Jesus
• I could list many more

In one case, people have been leaving a church for years because of the loudness of the music and despite the fact that the congregation has multiple services and therefore could address the issues. The leaders have never addressed it and allow the exodus to happen - or tell congregants to stay outside the worship venue until the music is over. Really? It is not only ignoring a real issue but is very disempowering to those who cannot deal with the volume. But evidently they do not have the courage to address an ongoing and real issue.

Here is my challenge to board members - don't allow known issues to go unaddressed. They are elephants and elephants hurt the church. If there is an issue, name it, talk about it and don't pretend it does not exist. It does and it matters. It takes just one board member who has the courage to speak up to at least put the issue on the table. often, once they do, others who are uncomfortable will do the same.

Often when boards do not act on known issues, congregants do: with their giving and their leaving. One might say, "you should not do that." But here is the truth: When congregants cannot get the attention of their leaders (staff or board) because they will not listen you leave them no choice. And they will act. Often by the time the board wakes up to smell the coffee it is too late and ultimately it is the inaction of the board that is responsible for what happened. Most congregants will not fight a battle but they will act personally.

Posted from Panama City, Panama

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Eight reasons many supervisors do such a poor job of leading others

I suspect that many staff would not give their boss or supervisor high marks for their supervisory skills or stewardship. It is true in ministry settings as well as secular settings. I expect that in smaller organizations there might not be as much expertise in this area but poor supervision is found in organizations of all sizes.

Before I share the reasons why I believe this is the case, let me remind you of how I describe good teams as this is the job of supervisors to create. A good team is a group of missionally aligned and healthy individuals working synergistically together under good leadership with accountability for results. When you consider how rare these elements are on teams one has to conclude that there is a problem with the good leadership piece of the equation.

My own work with organizations around these issues has led me to conclude that there are eight principle reasons why leadership and supervision of others is lacking the quality it ought to have. 

First, we often put supervisors in their positions without giving them the training in how to build teams, empower people, lead others and resolve conflict to name just a few of the necessary skills. It is foolish to believe that anyone can take the leadership of others without some kind of training as it is a skill to lead. Moving from being an independent producer to an organizational leader is no easy step and without coaching and mentoring many never make the transition.

Second, there is rarely a specific set of expectations that are given supervisors other than the fact that others now report to them. In my book there are at least ten critical issues that leaders of others must pay attention to but how often is the case that no one has clearly laid out what it means to lead other people?

Third, supervisors often treat the supervisory role they have as a distraction from their own work without realizing that it is the focus of their new work. Leading others is never ancillary, it must be central. In fact, this is one of the expectations that is often never communicated. When supervisors or team leaders treat this as a necessary evil, their staff read it quickly and it does not encourage them.

Fourth, most supervisors or team leaders do not know how to create clarity for those they lead as to what they are going after, what the non-negotiables are and how they will interact with one another. Lack of clarity creates conflict, confusion, lack of common direction and lack of accountability. Yet many supervisors are not taught these important skills.

Fifth, many supervisors do not empower but tend to control. Empowerment within clear boundaries creates health while control without clarity creates disempowerment. Whether because of a lack of training or a controlling nature this deficit creates dysfunctional teams.

Sixth, when team is not central, supervisors do not develop their staff. After all, that takes time and energy and the team is not their highest priority anyway. Any leader who does not develop those they lead is neglecting the leadership stewardship they have. 

Seventh, many supervisors are not held accountable for the quality of their leadership of others. That means that many supervisors have no real incentive to pay attention to building the kinds of teams I mentioned above. Especially in the Christian arena (but not only) where senior leaders don't want to confront substandard work in the name of grace or niceness this situation continues to exist. 

Eight and perhaps at the crux of the whole matter, senior leaders are not themselves committed to leading others with health or taking the time to build the kinds of healthy teams we are talking about. When the example and direction does not come from the very top, it is not going to be a priority for the rest of the organization. Unless seniors leaders care about the issue, it will never become an important issue in the organization.

I know individuals with great talent and potential who are leaving their organizations for all of the reasons above. They have not been led well and they are disillusioned by it and want their lives and energy to count. The organization ultimately loses and I hold their leaders accountable for the loss. Don't let it happen in your ministry or organization. It is a net loss for all.

Posted from Havana, Cuba


All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

How to influence others without telling them what to do or how to do it

Few people like to be told what to do or how they should do it. Leaders often inadvertently discourage their staff by being overly directive. While there are times when a hard or directive conversation must take place it should be a rare thing if one has good staff. The question is, how do we address issues without needing to be overly directive?

The answer is often a simple one. It is to engage them in dialogue and ask questions rather than to make statements. In fact, it is in the dialogue that questions engender that better solutions come about than even we might think should happen. I work very hard to not give direction through telling people what to do but to ask questions that help them come to appropriate solutions. It is not only better received but generally is a more honoring way to communicate.

Asking questions gives us an opportunity to think about how we approach sensitive issues so that those we are interacting with will hear us, lower their defenses and create an environment where we can get at these sensitive issues that need to be addressed. Since every individual is wired differently how we address these issues means that we need to think carefully about our approach.

Asking good questions that cause people to reflect also teaches those we are interacting with to do the same with their staff. Soon you have a culture that is more life giving and people who think more deeply. In fact, when we have to think about the right question to ask on a certain issue we are engaging in much deeper thinking than if we do not.

The bottom line is that asking good questions is almost always more helpful than simply making statements – although there are times when we should address behaviors or decisions head on. Generally, though, questions create dialogue and dialogue gives us an opportunity to come to good solutions and to influence others. 


Posted from Havana Cuba


All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The cost and rewards of empowering others

Empowerment by leaders is often ubiquitously poor. The reason is that there is a cost to empowerment and many leaders are unwilling to pay the cost. So any discussion of empowerment must begin by acknowledging that cost. Let me suggest three costs that prevent leaders from empowering others.

First, and this is a big one for leaders. When we empower, things may well not be done the way we would do them. Nor should they as we are not the fount of all wisdom and strategy. God gave gifts to people for a reason. If they are good staff they will figure out how they should do what they do. Empowerment naturally means that we give up a measure of control. Otherwise it is not empowerment.

Second, we are afraid that something will go wrong. If we have good people it is not likely but life is messy. And, unless we give people the opportunity to try and even fail, they will never learn and grow. For me, the best lessons I have learned in leadership was through getting it wrong on occasion. Both Jesus and Paul were willing to let people fail and learn from those failures.

Third, many leaders are controllers rather than empowers. They need to micromanage and insist that others do things they would do it. Jesus does not do that with us and we ought not try to control others. Control is dysfunctional leadership. Setting appropriate boundaries is necessary but control is dysfunctional.

What are the rewards of empowering others?

First, people grow in their skills and responsibility. If I only do what you tell me to do and how to do it I don’t develop my own skills to think, analyze, and lead. Paul was willing to empower leaders where he planted churches knowing that they would mess up on occasion which is why he wrote some of his epistles. In the process those leaders grew in their leadership. We only learn to take responsibility when we are given responsibility.

Second, we develop a leadership and staff bench, sorely needed by most ministries. Need more good staff? It only happens when we find and empower good staff and give them a chance to develop their skills.

Third, it expands our influence. Each of us is limited in what we can personally do. We expand our influence for the Kingdom as we develop, empower and release others in line with their gifting and skills. I for one want to have the greatest influence for Jesus that I can. That means that I need to focus significant time on developing others. As we multiply empowered and skilled staff we directly increase our influence.

I talk to many staff in many ministries who tell me that they are not empowered. Some are given responsibility without the necessary authority. Others are not free to use their creativity to get the job done in ways that may be different from the way their supervisor would do it. In my own experience the best staff eventually leave when they are not empowered in their work. On the other hand, those who are empowered become loyal to the organization because they are able to contribute in meaningful ways.


Posted from Havana Cuba


All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

We are only as healthy as our secrets

It is not one of the measurements of health that we often consider: We are only as healthy as the secrets we have. In determining our own health we often consider the many good things that we do or the spiritual disciplines that we enter into. But the truth is that our secrets are the very thing that have the potential to do us the greatest harm – and potentially to take us out of the game entirely. Secrets matter and they are the very things that secretly diminish our personal health.

We don’t like to dwell on our secrets but the healthiest thing we can do is to face and acknowledge them. Jeremiah 17 reminds us that our hearts are deceitful and it is that deceit that keeps us from naming and identifying to ourselves those secret places in our lives that are dangerous to us and perhaps the source of our greatest dishealth. The most dangerous thing is to ignore and not acknowledge to ourselves the secret places in our lives that we know to be unhealthy. That is denial of our own realities. Ironically, because our secrets are hidden to others we often try to live with them hidden from ourselves by simply ignoring them.

Having identifying those secrets, it is time to push into them in order to resolve them. Sometimes that means getting the counsel and accountability of others. It may mean changes in our lives that minimize the temptation to go where we know we shouldn't go. It is a deliberate strategy to resolve our secrets in order to develop greater health. Those who do so avoid the pain and dishealth that inevitably comes with secrets.

This is not so much about avoiding pain (although relevant). It is in the final analysis it is our own commitment to emotional, relational and spiritual health. Health is life giving in every way while secrets are life robbing in every way. Jesus came to bring us health and our cooperation with him is essential to getting there. We are only as healthy as our secrets.

Posted from Havana, Cuba


All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Your hidden C.V.

All of us have a C.V. many of which are pretty impressive. It includes our degrees, accomplishments, job history, awards and publications. Others if they were to write one would include raising wonderful kids, supervising their education, running the home and any number of of ministry involvements. All good!

Each of us has another kind of C.V. It is a hidden C.V. that would include such things as our inner life, our personal spiritual growth, our commitment to spiritual transformation and areas of life that have become more like Jesus, our paradigm for time with Jesus and the life we live when no one is watching. Of the two C.V.'s this one is far more important because it is is a record of our spiritual growth as well as of our spiritual commitments.

Furthermore the hidden C.V. impacts all of our life because our inner lives spill over into our words, actions, motives, relationships, priorities and decisions. No area of life is exempt from the impact of our inner life with Jesus - or lack of it. 

Take a moment and consider you hidden C.V. from the time that you entered into a relationship with Jesus. Are there things you want to change or modify? There is still time and it is worth the effort. 

Posted from Havana, Cuba

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.