If you want to know the health or dishealth of your church board, pay attention to the quality of relationships

 

One of the key indicators of a board health the quality of relationships between board members. As you read this list of poor interpersonal relationships, ask yourself if any of them apply to your church board. If yes, it is imperative that you find a way to resolve the issues because these never just stay on the board but spill out onto the congregation as a whole. Ask me, I have worked with many such situations.

• Poor interpersonal relationships between members (whether a few or many)
• Factions on a board that are unable to come to consensus
• Unresolved conflict and an inability to resolve that conflict because board members will not submit to one another
• The pastor is seen as an employee of the board rather than as a full member of the board. When a pastor is treated like an employee you have set yourself up for factions, us them and poor relationships
• The inability to deal with certain subjects because one or more board members block the discussion
• There is a powerbroker on the board who uses their influence to get their way and refuses to be accountable to the board as a whole
• A significant amount of directional clarity. It is hard to get clarity when any of the above behaviors are present
• There are personal agendas or hidden agendas that one can sense but are not named
• A lack of concern for one another
• The Fruit of the Spirit is not evident in relationships and discussions
• Board members make up their own rules and operate independently even though that violates basic board practices
• You cannot hold a board member who is causing issues on the board because either the board will not hold them accountable or they refuse to be accountable 

Recently, in a discussion with a friend about issues like this on a board they serve on, I said, "your church is at significant risk and if the board cannot get their act together I would resign rather than be complicit in a leadership situation that your board cannot or will not deal with.

What is interesting to me is that in many churches where such behavior resides at the board level, they insist that the same behavior cannot be resident in the congregation as a whole and even use church discipline to enforce their way. How can a board that cannot police itself have the conviction that they can enforce right conduct in a congregation? What right does a board have to tell a congregant to humbly submit to their will when the board cannot submit to the will of the board? It is hypocrisy, and it is sinful and it will hurt the very people that they are charged with protecting.

Sometimes the congregation needs to be protected from the very board that is charged with guiding them.

These are spiritual issues and they demand reformation. There is no Church called TOV when these behaviors are present. TOV or goodness, starts with the leaders of a church. Many people and many congregations have been hurt when the board itself becomes the largest violator of TOV or goodness. Unfortunately it is not a rare occurrence. 

Here is an interesting question to consider. If the average parishioner knew what transpired in your board room, would they be motivated to stay or leave? To love Jesus more or less? To be confident in the leadership or less? 

You can fool a congregation for a time, but not forever. I plead with any who are in this situation to get help for your board.

Redefining Christian relationships in a cancel culture world

 

I have been mulling in recent months on the fragile nature of relationships among Christians. And the rise of the Cancel Culture has had its impact among believers as well. It is very easy for what one assumed was a long, fruitful and close relationship to be dissolved overnight and for that relationship to be cancelled, sometimes permanently.

Now, relational wreckage is not new. Paul and Barnabas parted company over John Mark with deep, raw emotion on both sides. Paul had to ask the church to help two woman friends of his reconcile. In the first case we know that reconciliation took place years later. We are not sure of what happened with the two women. Then there was the time when Paul publicly rebuked Peter which I am sure caused significant relational issues. And they were both Apostles. 

My conclusion is that even though we live with the Holy Spirit within us, seek to exhibit the Fruit of the Spirit, are called to live in unity and peace with one another (to the extent that we can), are to forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us, that there are times when relationships end up in the ditch anyway this side of heaven. This is a tribute to our sinful and broken condition. There are also times when reconciliation takes place between brothers or sisters who have been deeply at odds and that is a tribute to the power of the Holy Spirit.  These two conditions, our sinful and broken condition are always at war with what the Holy Spirit wants to do in our lives. 

How odd it will be that in heaven, those who were our worst enemy in this life but who know Jesus, will be someone with whom we will have perfect harmony with. And yes, even like and love, without any hint of whatever it was that separated us here. In fact, in heaven we will not be able to despise or marginalize or cancel or live with any kind of animosity as our hearts, that have been redeemed fully here, will live out the implications of that redemption fully there. Just reading those words makes me want to try to start living out the implications on this side of heaven.

This latter fact makes me want to see my relationships not in light of my life here but in light of eternity. If the unity of the Spirit will be lived out throughout eternity is God's desired plan why would I not want to do all that I can to capture that unity in this life since Christ lives in me? The fact that I would rather carry my hurt, pain, unforgiveness or give up my prerogative to put others down or slander their character are of course not good excuses to God. He calls that sin - and sometimes we love it. Yet, we know that one day we will regret it.

So where does all this leave me? That which consumed my journal on this past Easter morning. It leaves me with these commitments that I will imperfectly live out but which I aspire to. In my relationships with other believers,

• My goal is to understand and seek peace

• To refrain from judging when it is not necessary or productive

• To think the best rather than the worst

• To forgive freely even when I am hurt

• To ask forgiveness when I have hurt others

• To pray God's blessing on those I would rather cancel

• To ask God to change me before I ask Him to change others

• To be as gentle, patient and kind with those who irritate me as God is with me

• To seek to apply the Fruit of the Spirit with those who I don't like as well as those I do like

• To think about my relationships in light of eternity

• To give up my "rights" to my attitudes, judgements, harsh words, gossip, hard feelings and desires for retribution in pace of the attitudes of Jesus

All of these are countercultural because they reflect Jesus. The harder it is the more I must acknowledge my own brokenness. But one thing I do have to do is grapple. Jesus does want me to act on earth as I will in heaven. In fact, I believe we pray that every time we pray the Lord's prayer. So the answer to my Easter musings are not easy answers which I guess is why Jesus implanted His Holy Spirit in each of us. God help us to do better.

An opinion piece from the New York Times: Why Is Jesus Still Wounded After His Resurrection?

 

Why Is Jesus Still Wounded After His Resurrection?

“The risen but scarred body of Christ is the ultimate signifier of divine empathy.”

By Peter Wehner

Mr. Wehner, who served in various roles in the three Republican administrations before the Trump administration, is a contributing Opinion writer. He attends McLean Presbyterian Church in McLean, Va.

April 3, 2021

Cruelty is Apostacy: Reflections on Beth Moore's departure from the Southern Baptist Convention by David French

 Cruelty Is Apostasy

Reflections on Beth Moore’s departure from the Southern Baptist Convention.

By David French - A must read

The decision by Beth Moore to leave the SBC is a day of reckoning for the SBC and other denominations

 

Beth's announcement that she is leaving the Southern Baptist Convention hit like a bombshell today. As a gifted teacher, writer, leader and a critic of the behavior of the former president, her popular Bible Studies, books and teaching have made her a lightening rod within the SBC both by those who don't like her politics and by those who believe a woman should not teach men - even though Beth has played by the SBC rules on this issue. Her ministry, Living Proof Ministries has significant reach around the world. As part of her announcement today, Moore also said that Lifeway would no longer be her publisher.

A reading of the twitter feed in the wake of her announcement indicates that the SBC can be a very tough place for a gifted woman teacher and writer. She was called "a false teacher," someone who places her "feelings above Scripture," "brainwashed by Satan,"  "outside the pale of orthodoxy," "an entertainer enamored by herself," and the list goes on. 

Moore has spoken to the issue of Christian Nationalism within the SBC, the lack of concern about sexual victims in the church, sexism, and large racial divides that are resulting in the departure of many black pastors and congregations from the SBC. 

What is particularly interesting in the comments regarding Moore's departure on Twitter is that a large percentage of the comments are about President Trump and the need for the church to support him. This is an indication of how closely aligned the SBC has become (for many of their churches and leaders) to a political figure and a political party. When politics becomes the deciding factor of debate over the Gospel and Jesus, a rival God has raised its head. 

One thing can be said with certainty. The SBC is not a friendly place for a gifted woman teacher. This is not a debate about whether the church should be complementarian or egalitarian as the boundaries in many parts of the SBC are stringent and unyielding. 

This is a day of reckoning for the denomination that is already immersed in political battles. When a high profile woman (a New York Times Best Seller) can no longer minister freely within the SBC I suspect that many are going to take note and over the coming years follow her out. This is not because she wants to hurt the movement but because her efforts to raise awareness of important issues in the church have been met with derision and personal attacks. 

The truth is that Moore is deeply loved by many within and outside of the SBC. Those who love her will pay attention to what happened to her. Further, it is deeply disappointing to many that there was no longer a place for a gifted woman in the SBC.

All of this raises important issues within denominations as to whether a woman is able to use her gifts. In fact, it is ironic that the vast majority of the mission money in the SBC is raised in the name of Lottie Moon, a Southern Baptist missionary to China, but there seems to be nor enough room for Beth Moore. 

Regardless of one's theology regarding complementarianism or egalitarianism, if women are treated as second class citizens in the church, disrespected and cannot use their God given gifts, there is rot in the church. The treatment of Aimee Byrd, another popular author in the conservative ranks has been despicable and sad. 

For more on this story, see the Christianity Today Article on Beth Moore's decision to leave the SBC.

The key to humility is personal security

The more secure I am in who God made me to be

 and who my Father in heaven is,

 the better I can lead with humility

 rather than pride. 

Proud people are often insecure people. Because of their personal insecurities, they need to be right, control others, get their way, have the approval of others, and have a need to prove something to the world and those around them. Those who have personal security, on the other hand, know who they are and have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide. They can be humble!

Jesus illustrates this in John 13 when on the eve of His death He washes the feet of His disciples. "The evening meal was in progress and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him" (John 13:2-5).

What Jesus did here was astonishing to His disciples. In fact, when Jesus got to Peter, he balked and told Jesus there was no way He could wash His feet. This job was for servants, not men of stature and dignity. Further, Jesus was the master, and masters didn't serve their disciples; it was the other way around. Jesus did what many leaders today will not or cannot do. He served His disciples and demonstrated that service with this humble act.

What struck me recently, however, are these words that precede his foot washing. "Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist."

These are not insignificant words! Jesus knew who He was in relation to His father. He was personally secure, even on the eve of His death. He knew who He was, and He knew who His father was and therefore was not at all embarrassed to wash His disciple's feet, although they were embarrassed that He would do so. 

Here is the truth. The more secure we are in ourselves, the less we must prove ourselves to others. The more secure we are in our Heavenly Father, the more we can serve others humbly rather than live with pride. At its root, pride comes from personal insecurities and our need to prove something. Humility comes from personal security and the lack of a need to prove anything to anyone. Security removes our need to position ourselves, prove ourselves or lift ourselves up. Security frees us to serve as Jesus served us and serves us still.

In leadership, humility is a key trait for lasting influence. To lead humbly, we need to understand that our leadership is a stewardship and not a right. The more secure I am in who God made me to be and who my Father in heaven is, the better I can lead with humility rather than pride. 

Clarity is Job One in any governance system

 

Ask any board or staff member in a church or non-profit and you will get the same answer to this question: What is the number one frustration you face in your leadership role. The answers will often be these:

• We don't have clarity on who is responsible for what
• We experience frustration or conflict regarding roles and responsibilities
• We often feel disempowered by those who think they have the responsibility to make decisions we think we should be able to make
• We don't feel empowered in our role
• If only the board (or staff) would stay out of our way
• Because no one is clearly responsible we don't know who to hold responsible
• Lack of clarity is causing confusion at best and conflict at worst

All of these have one thing in common. That commonality is clarity. Clarity in roles, responsibilities, intended results and the freedom to act within boundaries without the permission of others.

I am currently working with a congregation that is in a process to clarity their governance structure. They interviewed a number of other congregations about their process of governance and the one thing that consistently came back to them was this. Have maximum clarity around roles, responsibilities and outcomes. Without clarity there is no accountability. Without clarity people are not empowered to act. Without clarity there is at best confusion and at worst, conflict.

Every governance system must define the roles and responsibilities of four parties: The congregation, the senior board, the staff and ministry teams. The clearer you are, the more empowerment there is and the more accountability there will be. The foggier you are the less empowerment you will have and there will be little to no accountability.

My observation is that many governance systems are designed deliberately to create fog rather than clarity because with clarity people can act in their sphere of influence. In such churches, you will notice that they hit a ceiling and never exceed that ceiling because clarity of roles and responsibilities is critical to growth. In their lack of clarity they unwittingly limit their growth and effectiveness.  Lack of clarity has a built in ceiling to growth and effectiveness. 

Without clarity you cannot have alignment. Without alignment you cannot move in the same direction. And, without clarity and alignment, you cannot achieve results that are consistent with your clarity. Something to think about.

If you want more help in getting to clarity, my books High Impact Church Boards and Leading From the Sandbox can point you in the right direction. Remember, clarity is always Job One.