Why the church itself is largely responsible for people not returning post Covid

 

The phenomena of those who have chosen not to return to church has been the subject of speculation as numbers have dropped dramatically in church attendance. Even long time church attenders are absent and have indicated that they don't intend to come back.

A case can be made that in many cases, this reflects either poor theology (I don't need church or I can get what I want online when I need it) or low spiritual commitment (I can do my spirituality without the church). Certainly Covid sped up the tendency among church goers that Sunday is a day off and church is an option but not a priority.

Covid's fallout thus reflects the loss of those whose faith was less than robust, who may have been church attendees by habit or tradition or many who simply find the church irrelevant to their lives.

My take is that while the above is often true, that the church itself is largely responsible for people not returning post Covid. It has itself to blame and it should cause major reevaluation as to the purpose, message and engagement of the church. So here is my take on dwindling church attendance in the post Covid world.

We have failed to teach and live a Biblical ecclesiology. We have lost a Biblical theology of the church. The Scriptures have a theology of church that has been lost because the church has not taught it or lived it. Scripturally, the church is a gathering of God's people to worship God in community, be encouraged and challenged by God's Word, in community, care for one another in community, and engage in God's work in the outside world together as God's people are released into their gifting to live out their unique God given calling and legacy.

Instead we have made worship services about us rather than about God. The focus is on meeting our own needs rather than being focused on the worship of our creator. Certainly that needs to be done in culturally sensitive ways but still it begs the question as to whether the focus of the service is on us or on God. 

We have failed to teach and live out the "one another" aspect of the Christian life. Here is where in the words of Scripture, male and female, Jew and gentile, rich and poor, slave and free, people from every background, culture and language become one in Christ. The Gospel is the great leveler as the Spirit knits disparate people into one- body that is the local manifestation of the body of Christ. None of this happens in isolation. It happens in authentic community. It happens as we are forced to grapple with what it means to be part of the body of Christ and to move from autonomous independent individuals to people knit together by the Holy Spirit. Quite simply, that does not happen in isolation but in community, sometimes messy community. If we understood God's plan for the church, diminishing our commitment to the church would not be an option. But we don't.

We have substituted feel good teaching for transformational teaching. Many messages from the pulpit today can hardly be differentiated from the self help section of books at Barnes and Nobles. There may be great advice there but Scripture is meant to teach, instruct, rebuke (where necessary), train us in righteousness and challenge our thinking, relationships, hearts, actions and priorities. Too little of our preaching does that these days. In traditional settings it is theology without application. In non traditional settings it is often self help without theology. This is the fault of the church.

If I want self help, the You Tube channel, a podcast or a book will suffice. I don't need church for that. If I want theology and Biblical teaching that forces me to think Biblically and allow the Holy Spirit to transform my life, I need the church because all of this is done most powerfully in community with other believers. This is not about entertaining folks on Sunday mornings but engaging people in a common experience of worship, prayer, Bible teaching with our fellow pilgrims.

We have changed ministry from that of living out our God given wiring and gifting meant to reach the world to volunteerism within the four walls of our churches. Don't get me wrong. The church as an organism needs the best of what each of us has to bring. We are all fellow ministers working to grow together and it is as we use our gifts that the body of Christ is built up into what it is meant to be (Ephesians 4). Note again the emphasis on community. 

However, the call of God on our lives goes beyond serving coffee on Sundays. It goes to a lifestyle where we are intentionally using our God given gifts on a 24/7 basis, not only inside the four walls of the church but in the world where we live and work and play. Yet in many ways the church has defined ministry as what happens within its four walls and in doing so has downplayed the strategic call of God on each of our lives to be His representatives in a hurting and broken world. In doing so we have diminished the important work that God has for each of our lives whether we are school teachers, janitors, salespeople, executives or wherever God has placed us in life and work. We have failed to help Christ followers understand the way that God wants to use them in a fallen world.

We have allowed "information" about the Christian life to trump "relationship" in the Christian life.  If the Christian life is primarily about information, we can find that commodity in many places. But that is not the teaching of Scripture. It is in community that we grow as we learn to love disparate and different people. It is in community that I learn to care for others and be the hands and feet of Jesus. It is in community that I learn the humility of working and living with others. It is in community that I learn to put my spiritual maturity to the test: to forgive, work together, use my gifts for the common good; be encouraged and challenge others. Count up the "one another" statements in the New Testament and you get the picture. Even Jesus, our greatest example, chose to live life in community with twelve other individuals so say nothing of the many hundreds of others who were part of His larger community. 

We have allowed church size to substitute for church health. I am not a critic of large churches. Many become large because they are healthy. I am a critic of the drive to become large as if the size of our congregation is an indication of health. I would rather see small churches who lived out a Biblical ecclesiology than a large church that did not. Church health results in transformed lives. Church success is the life change of its people through the Holy Spirit and living in community where we must put our theology into practice. 

My conclusion is that the church itself is responsible for much of the fallout from our Covid period. In that sense, Covid can be a wake up call for the church and call us back to become missional communities once again that engage people in community for our transformation and His glory. It is worth thinking about.

One thing leaders often get wrong that diminishes their organization's impact

 

Over the years I have had the privilege of consulting with numerous organizations. As a consultant I am often engaged to help resolve problems within the organization. This is counterintuitive but I have often found that in their desire to serve their constituents, leaders, even very good leaders hurt their organizations because they neglect their staff.

They don't see staff as their first priority. Thus they don't invest much time in developing staff members, helping them be successful at their work. Here is a common theme by staff: I don't get enough time with my leader. I get the leftovers of their time and energy. But here is the thing - simply stated.

The key to an organization's success is the staff. The heathier and more engaged the staff is, the greater the impact they will have. When a leader makes his/her staff the second priority in order to serve their ultimate customers they actually lose because unhappy, unaligned, undeveloped staffs eventually implode. And when they implode who gets hurt? Those they are there to serve. Ironically, the leader is often caught in the fallout as the staff no longer respects them. Neglect your staff and everyone suffers!

Organizational leaders serve through their staff team, not around their staff team. Staff are not a distraction but the key to the organization's success. If you are a leader who is too busy to spend the time that your staff needs with you, you are not leading. And, your priority of serving your constituents at the expense of staff will end badly for you, the staff and your customers. It just does!

I have helped to clean up too many situations because leaders neglected their staff. Don't let it happen to you.

How would your staff and board actually describe your church and why it matters

 

Here is an instructive exercise if you want to think about what your church is about. Ask your staff and board this question: How would you describe our church? Forget about vision and mission statements and focus on how you would actually describe the church. For real!

In fact, take this one step further and describe the positive pieces of your church culture, the problematic pieces and the negative pieces. Put those in three columns on a white board and have a discussion around all three columns. 

Think about these questions;

• How can we capitalize on the positive pieces of our culture and continue to encourage those pieces?
• What can we do about the problematic pieces of our culture?
• How do we address and change the negative pieces of our culture and where do those influences come from?
• How do these three columns impact new people who come into the congregation?
• What impact do the three columns have on the spiritual health of our congregation?
• Do we have the courage to address the negative pieces of our culture?

My guess is that such a conversation will open up some honest and candid dialogue among your staff and leaders. The problematic and negative pieces of a congregation's culture are often ignored or left as elephants in the room. Don't ignore them because they impact the spiritual lives of your people for good or bad. In fact, at some point, in some way, it is necessary to address those negative pieces of your culture and that takes courage and a long term plan.

It starts with a conversation. 

The Evangelical Church is Breaking Apart - Peter Wehner in the Atlantic

 

THE EVANGELICAL CHURCH IS BREAKING APART

Christians must reclaim Jesus from his church.

By Peter Wehner

American missionaries and family members kidnapped in Haiti - Washington Post article

 

American missionaries

 and family members 

kidnapped in Haiti by

 ‘400 Mawozo’ gang,

 groups say

Ten ways to evaluate whether your ego is getting in the way of your leadership

 An overly inflated ego is one of the challenges of leaders who are often in their positions because they have seen success. The success that positions one for leadership can also be our subtle undoing when we allow it to feed our ego which has a voracious and unrelenting appetite. 

Most of us like to think that we are not conceited and yet that is the greatest conceit of all. However, we can be aware of signs that our ego (and conceit) are getting in the way of our own emotional health and leadership. Awareness can help us manage the appetite of our egos.

Being defensive or angry when we are challenged.
Defensiveness is nothing more than our ego screaming "don't challenge me because I am right" even when we are not. It keeps us from hearing truth and perspective from others leaving us with only our limited perspective. This is why the best leaders train themselves to be open to differing perspectives and cultivate a non-defensive attitude.

Being reluctant to delegate

An unwillingness to delegate is often our ego speaking: "No one can do this as well as I can." Actually, in most things others can do things better than we can but who wants to admit that! Healthy leaders do. In fact, they encourage others to find better ways of doing things in order to build better organizations. We may not realize it but an unwillingness to delegate can be a sign of an unhealthy ego.

Needing to always get our own way
Why would we need to always get our own way if not because our own self worth or conviction that we are always right reveals an overinflated and unhealthy ego? Healthy leaders desire to do the best thing to reach the desired outcome which has nothing to do with whether it is their way or not. Unhealthy egos demand their way regardless of whether other ways might be better.

Being jealous of the success of others
Whenever we become jealous at the success of another we ought to sit up and take note that we have an ego problem. Jealousy over the success of another is a sign that we believe their success in someway diminishes us! Only unhealthy and hungry egos react this way. These egos will resist hiring anyone who might outshine them in some area and is a dangerous trait.

Taking credit for success and deflecting blame in failure
This happens in ministry, in business, in politics and everywhere there are people. We love to overinflate our abilities and underinflate our weaknesses. Accolades feed our hungry egos and those same hungry egos don't want to admit failure so they deflect it to others. Healthy egos share success with the team and are willing to take responsibility for failure. Healthy egos never need to be fed at the expense of others in success or failure.

A critical spirit
Critical spirits can come from a need to build ourselves up by putting others down or an attitude of superiority - both of which are connected to unhealthy egos. If we find ourselves becoming critical we need to ask ourselves why we find a need to diminish rather than encourage others. An attitude of criticism is rarely a sign of a healthy leader and it usually has to do more with them than with those they are critical about.

Slowing down on learning and developing
How is this related to ego? It is an assumption that we no longer need to learn new things or put another way, we already know all that we need to know. That is a lie of our ego. If anything, the need to invest more time in learning is critical because our world is changing at an increasing rate. Humble individuals invest in learning while proud people feel they don't need to.

Inability or unwillingness to listen

Those who don't listen or who listen and ignore the perspectives of others are sending a message that they don't need the input of others. That is Ego all the way. Humility requires listening as well as openness to the opinions and suggestions of others. Those who don't listen are actually saying, "I don't need you or your input. Just do as I say." That is arrogance!

Unkind or demeaning words

Those who put down others, treat them unkindly, demean them or their efforts, use words that hurt rather than help, use unkind words or speak in an unkind way are placing themselves above others (pride and ego) rather than treating people with the dignity and compassion that they would want themselves. Humble individuals are kind and understanding. Ego driven people are often unkind and place themselves "over" others rather than "alongside" others. 

Why does this matter? The behaviors above are toxic to those around us, to our team and to our organization. More importantly they are toxic to us because when our egos get in the way of our leadership we are both hurting our leadership and our own hearts and minds are compromised. Ego hurts others but it also hurts us. 

The correlation between Emotional Intelligence and organizational culture

 It is a given that the Emotional Intelligence of an organization is the sum of the EQ of its members. In other words, the organization's EQ reflects the general emotional health of its people. When I ask people about the culture of their workplace, they can quickly identify the positive and the negative aspects of their organization. What they often don't realize is that they are describing the EQ of those who work there. 

In effect, the EQ of the organization (which reflects the EQ of the individuals within the organization) creates the organizational culture. There is a direct correlation between EQ and culture. So, if one is going to change the organizational culture, it becomes necessary to grow the EQ of its members. 

For instance, if one has a culture that is rife with gossip, backstabbing, unhealthy competition, conflict, and people taking credit when they should not or blaming others when they are to blame, one has a dysfunctional culture that reflects poor Emotional Intelligence among its members. The core issue is not the culture but the people who make up that culture and their level of emotional health.

The lower the EQ of the staff, the more dysfunctional the organization is. The higher the EQ of staff, the healthier the organizational culture. And the culture almost always reflects an organization's leadership as people take their cues from leaders.

Because we don't often think of organizational culture as related to the EQ of its members, we become frustrated with our inability to deal with issues in our organizational culture. However, by teaching and coaching in EQ, we can directly impact the culture of the organization in healthy ways. 

One issue that is often ignored is this: The EQ of leaders has a disproportionate impact on the organization as they are the ones who set the standard for behavior. They set the tone for how others are treated, how they serve, and how they lead from a place of humility. 

Some behaviors need to be illegal in an organization because they are antithetical to healthy relationships and interactions. As someone has said, Culture is what we create or allow. In creating a healthy culture, we model good EQ. In disallowing unhealthy behavior, we set a standard for what personal and relational health looks like.

It is instructive to look at your own organization and ask what the corporate EQ quotient is. Are you intentionally creating a healthy culture, or are you allowing things that hurt your culture?

All cultures have positive and negative aspects to them. Take a moment and think about the problematic areas of the culture of your team or organization, and armed with that knowledge, do some teaching and coaching in the requisite areas of EQ that are involved in the problematic areas.

For examples of the signs of good and poor EQ, click here.