Signs that we are not as humble as we think we are or try to portray

We all like to think we are humble and I have met some very humble individuals. I have also met many who think they have humility but whose behaviors would indicate otherwise. Before we take pride in our humility, think about these signs that we might have some work to do. Each of these is about "me" and the more we are about ourselves the less humble we actually are.

• I need to have my own way
• I don't like criticism or pushback
• I get angry easily
• I tell people what to do rather than ask questions
• Accountability irritates me
• I don't listen well
• I marginalize people who disagree with me
• Loyalty to me is a non-negotiable for  staff
• I feel that the rules don't always apply to me
• I blame others for failures and take credit for success
• I exaggerate my accomplishments and resume
• A good idea is my idea
• If necessary I will shade the truth to achieve my goals
• I have an inflated view of my gifts and an inadequate view of my shortcomings
• I treat others as a means to an end rather than with the grace and honor they deserve
• I rarely if ever apologize
• I will only resolve conflict if I believe it will come out in my favor
• I tell people what I want them to know and withhold information I don't want them to know
• I don't treat everyone with honor and respect

No guilt but a lot of opportunity

I recently returned from Kinshasa, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo. It is a nation that is the heart of central Africa. A country that has great natural resources but is a country rife with corruption, poverty, human rights violations (especially in the North East) and human needs that stagger the imagination.

I had the privilege of speaking to 78 denominational presidents and their vice presidents on the subject of transformation: How the Gospel transforms individuals, communities and institutions through the changed hearts of people. They were an amazing group who work in a very tough neighborhood. And they want to see Congo changed by the power of the Gospel.

During my time there I visited a place called the Tabitha center which takes impoverished and troubled young women, teaches them how to sew as well as life skills along with the hope of the Gospel. Started on a shoestring, it aims to open new centers across Kinshasa as God provides the funds. Once up and running it is essentially self supporting from the clothing that is made and sold.

I never come home from trips like this unchanged. By the world's standards I am a wealthy individual. I even have a house for my car! God has been incredibly good and I have the opportunity to share that goodness with those who are less fortunate.

It is easy to forget in our western world how blessed we are and how many needs the world has. It is easy to become immune to the massive needs of our world. But each of us can contribute in some way to change a few lives and share some needed hope. Each of the girls above have a story of hopelessness turned into hope. It does not take much and it goes a long way.

My encouragement is that we all share what God has given in ways that make a difference, for this life and for eternity. 

If you desire to help open another Tabitha center in Kinshasa, feel free to email Jim.snyder@efca.org for more information.

I can't figure this one out and I suspect Jesus is perplexed as well

I spoke to another long time friend yesterday who is looking for a new church. Not because he does not love his current church, or the pastor or the theology. This is what makes it so difficult for him. He does not want to go. He is being forced to leave because the music is so loud that it literally gives him pain. Yes he has tried the earplugs and such and has been told he can sit outside in the foyer which to him is like being banished. He and his wife are in great pain because of all the deep friendships and their long time church family. But they have concluded they have no choice.

What I cannot figure out is why we are so insensitive to a segment of our body that we cannot accommodate those for whom the music is way, way too loud. This friend has no problem with the style of music per se. He does wish there were alternatives for him and a whole group that feels that way in the church. But of course they are older and don't count.

This congregation has several services so it is not as though there are not options to do differing worship experiences, even if one is just acoustic. I know many many churches who provide different worship experiences for differing groups. It seems, however that this issues is not on the radar of many congregations and that because of that they are sending a strong message to many seniors and others who are not of the the loud band persuasion that they are not valued.

Of course it is driven by younger pastors for whom the music fits. What, I wonder will they think when their own ears start to change and they are no longer comfortable with the loudness and they become uncomfortable themselves. While this is not just an age thing, it is clearly a problem for many seniors whom our church youth culture and its practices is unwilling to accommodate. These are the faithful who have stuck in there for many years and in many cases made the church what it is today.

Most pastors I talk to about the issue blow it off. They just don't care. I would think that would perplex Jesus who cares for everyone. Our desire for numbers and success is sometimes at the expense of the very people who we should be ministering to. Marginalizing those who cannot take the loud music is no different that marginalizing other groups in the church - especially if the church has the ability to do differing worship styles.

I know this is not politically correct but think about it from Jesus point of view. I suspect He may be perplexed as well.

Resisting Gossip: Winning the war of the wagging tongue

We all know the damage that gossip can make. Finally there is a clear, simple resource for your church that deals with the insidious but common problem. I highly recommend this book for every congregation that desires to be healthy and Christ like.

My endorsement of the book sums up my thoughts: “Matt Mitchell tackles one of the most common, destructive but least talked about sins. While gossip destroys, Matt suggests alternatives to gossip that build trust and relationship and that are practical and helpful. Our words, good and bad, are powerful, and this book can be a helpful tool in prompting God’s people to consider their words, attitudes and practices. I highly recommend it.” 

View the trailer here.

$9.97 at Next Step Resources

Why frustration can be a good thing for leaders

Leadership frustration is not a bad thing. In fact, it is usually an indicator that something is up that needs attention. It is not unlike a fever when we get sick, an indication that something is wrong with our health. And like a fever, leadership frustration should also not be ignored. It is an important symptom that needs to be addressed.

Consider these four kinds of frustration.

Frustration with a staff member

Ongoing frustration with a staff member always needs to be addressed. It may be that they are in the wrong spot, have not been able to keep up with a growing organization, are not team players or have an attitude problem. Whatever the issue, that frustration cannot be ignored as it is a symptom of some kind of dysfunction in the system that if ignored has a ripple impact across the organization.

Frustration with decision making

When it becomes hard to make decisions it is usually an indication that the leadership system of the organization is outdated and does not reflect present realities and needs to be addressed. Permission withholding cultures create frustration while permission granting structures makes decision making and leadership a friendly experience. When it becomes frustrating to make decisions, you know that it is time to look at your systems.

Frustration with boards

When there is tension between senior staff and boards it almost always indicates a lack of clarity of roles between boards and staff. This lack of clarity can be addressed by policy governance but it does need to be addressed because while clarity may be the bottom line issue, it is easy to assume bad motives when staff and boards go sideways. 

Frustration and all is well

This is the most difficult frustration. Being frustrated when things are going well. Often this is an indication that we are no longer challenged in our leadership role. That may mean it is time to leave for a new challenge. It also could be that it is necessary to rethink our role and refashioning our job so that we are playing to our strengths and using our gifts to their maximum. Again, unaddressed, 

being underutilized impacts our own attitudes and happiness and therefore those who we supervise.

Frustration is a symptom. Don't ignore it, just as you would not ignore a fever.

The best ministry is relational.

It is easy to forget in a day of unprecedented technology - email, blogs, twitter and the like that the best ministry is relational - face to face. It may take longer but it is certainly more effective.

Think of the difference between Old Testament days when God communicated in various ways but rarely face to face to the incarnation when God, in the form of the Son, Jesus, came and dwelt among us. It was that deeply relational connection with Jesus over three years that prepared the disciples for their future ministry.

In our driven and out of control schedules we often miss the importance of relationship or even of face to face communication. Even in my world of having staff around the world Skype makes it possible to talk face to face where one can see one another, look into one another's eyes and read one another's faces. 

God is a personal God and we are in a personal ministry of representing Him. Given the choice choose personal communication and face to face over emails and impersonal communication.  

The future may not be what you think it will be. Check out these fascinating statistics regarding Africa. 

The amazing, surprising, Africa-driven demographic future of the Earth, in 9 charts