Bold and Bolder Faith

In Luke 11, Jesus taught his disciples how to pray with the Lord’s prayer. If you read that prayer it is a bold prayer with bold requests. But then Jesus goes on to expand his teaching on prayer:

“Then he said to them, Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.

Then the one inside answers, Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything. I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:5-13)

Jesus is inviting us to be bold in our requests! He is inviting us to make BIG asks. He is affirming that when we pray God hears and doors open. He is making the point that just as we would not be stingy with responding to the requests of our own children that he would never be stingy with us His children.

Here is why I think so many people were profoundly impacted by the story of my illness. We often pray, not believing that God would actually do something BIG, or that we could make truly bold requests. That God can and does the miraculous in our day. But He did, and they saw it and it changed their understanding of prayer, faith, and God’s ability to do BIG things.

Because Mary Ann had heard from God early on that “it will be close but He will make it,” she would not let anyone into my ICU room to pray for me who would not pray for an absolute miracle and total healing. That was a bold move because there was no medical indication that I would pull through. Or, realistic hope.

If Jesus invites bold faith, if He invites BIG asks, we ought to take Him up on His offer. What is it that you need today? Be bold, pray BIG and wait for a loving father to answer!

It can be hard to be bold in our prayer or to do BIG asks if we are not used to doing this. There is another hard part of prayer. We are to pray bold and pray BIG but we are also to pray for God’s will to be done (Matthew 6:10). That is hard because while God always answers the prayer of faith (Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you – Luke 11:9-10) His perfect answer is not always our perfect answer!

God chose to heal me – twice - in His sovereignty. He does not always do that. That does not mitigate bold and BIG prayer. It requires that we understand that God’s perfect will is sometimes unseen by us. Even Jesus, on the eve of His arrest and death, prayed “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done. An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:42-44).

Let that sink in. Jesus was in agony over what was before Him. He pled with his Father to remove the cup of suffering from Him but even as He prayed boldly and with a BIG ask, in the same breath he said “yet not my will but yours be done.” Did God show up? Yes, an angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened Him. Did God remove the path of suffering from Him. No!

A pastor friend of mine was exhilarated when God chose to heal me. He and his congregation had prayed hard, earnestly, boldly and BIG. He was devastated a few months later when God did not heal a young boy in his church who experienced a devastating accident at a youth retreat. This is a man of great faith and has been a model of prayer for me through the years. He was as devastated by God’s seeming lack of action as he was in God’s miraculous action in my life.

Reflecting on that event recently he said, “It is amazing how powerful prayer is when we pray in line with God’s will.” Ultimately, life is not about us but about God. Ultimately, God’s purposes are far greater than we can ever comprehend this side of heaven. If Jesus was bound by His Father’s will and willing to submit to that will, why would we, his followers and children, be exempt?

In this regard, one of the most misused verses in Scripture is Romans 8:28. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purposes.”

Many assume that means that only good things happen to God’s people. Yet just a few verses later Paul asks “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. No in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:35-37).

Far from denying the reality of bad things, Paul says expect them. But know that even in the worst, nothing can separate us from God’s love. In that context we have to take Romans 8:28 that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” from God’s perspective not ours. It is not a promise that life will not include pain. It is rather a promise that when it does, God has a purpose and a plan that is still good and perfect and that he can use even our pain for His greater purposes.

God does not always remove suffering from our lives – and He did not for Jesus but He does redeem that suffering for greater divine purposes. Bold prayer, prayer that storms the gates of heaven is unapologetic in its requests and BIG in its scope. But it is not bold without praying for God’s ultimate will to be done. That is the boldest prayer because that prayer invites God to do what is ultimately best from His perspective, not ours. It is like the prayer of Jesus in the garden a prayer of deep submission to His perfect will and an invitation to Him to use our lives for His deepest and greatest purposes. That is BOLD prayer. And BOLD faith.

Are you willing to pray boldly for His will to be done? Do you trust His goodness enough to pray that way? I want to invite you to take that step of ultimate faith and trust right now. Tell Him your need, pray BIG, pray boldly, and boldly invite Him to do His will in your life and situation.

Mentoring Revisited

Yesterday I had an interesting email from the editor of our denominational magazine, EFCA Today of which I am the Executive Editor. She has been trying to elicit responses from churches regarding mentoring. Many women have responded. Few men have responded and one said, "I don't think pastors see it as their job to mentor."

That sentence caught my attention. I am thinking WOW! How can any leader not think it is their job to mentor? To be a leader and not be mentoring other leaders is an oxymoron. It is no wonder that the leadership quotient in so many churches is so low.

His other comment was that pastors did not think they had time to mentor. I don't buy that. We all have time for what is truly important to us. At any one time I am mentoring ten individuals on a regular basis.

Mentoring is one of the most strategic uses of our time - and - it is one of the most unselfish things we can do. It is giving away what God has given us in the spirit of 2 Timothy 2:2. Every church is one generation away from decline. Raising up the next generation of leaders is the only way we avoid that. And that is not simply preaching. It is influencing key people one on one.

There is another factor for anyone who wants to leave a significant legacy. I am convinced that the most powerful legacy we will ever leave are those individuals who we have raised up and equipped who in effect keep the ripples of our lives moving out on the pond of life. Real leaders give away what they have received.

I give kudos to the women of our churches who get this and do this. I am concerned if the comments above reflect reality for our pastoral leaders.

Who are you pouring your life into on a regular basis helping them become all they can be in line with how God made them?

Building your leadership bench

It is a common refrain: We don't have enough leaders for the ministries we have - or for the leadership board. Most churches do have the leaders they need but they have not been equipped or envisioned to lead.

The default for most churches is that we try to train leaders "on the job" rather than preparing them ahead of time. This default mode is dangerous in that one is putting untrained leaders in critical spots. It does not work well with boards in particular.

A simple solution is to develop a group of potential leaders that you meet with monthly. During those monthly meetings you can read and discuss leadership books, talk about the ministry philosophy of the church, train in church leadership, challenge them to be growing in their spiritual life and envisioning them for leadership or ministry in the local church.

You will quickly discern who your best potential leaders are and you will be growing them before they get into key roles. It is a simple but very strategic move.

Suffering and Humility

Suffering helps to free us from the pride that enslaves us and grows a humility like nothing else can.

Pride is both a mask of pretence and a spirit of the heart. As a mask, it is pretending that we are something we are not, know more than we do, are more competent than we are.

As a spirit of the heart it is believing that we are self sufficient in ourselves and are better than we are. Both the mask and the heart posture are sinful. And they hold us hostage because we must keep up a pretence and don’t allow us to see ourselves for who we really are.

Suffering has a wonderful way of stripping away pride. When life comes undone we can’t pretend we are sufficient anymore. We are forced to acknowledge our need for God and for others. Our weakness becomes our strength.

The Apostle Paul also had to learn humility the hard way.

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassing great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

We are strong when we humbly rely on God for his grace and power. We are weak when we rely on ourselves. Suffering frees us from self reliance and makes us strong through Christ. No longer do we need to pretend we are sufficient. No longer do we have to pretend we are something we are not. We can just be who we are in our strengths and weaknesses, humbly relying on God.

Having had two long bouts in the ICU I can say with candor that if you were not humble on the way in, one certainly is on the way out! There is no dignity in being sick, in having tubes sticking into your body, in having no control over bodily functions, or the dubious gowns that one tries to keep oneself covered with and in being totally out of control and at the mercy of others. Illness reveals the fragility of our bodies – as does old age, when our bodies slowly betray us and the “clay pots” the Apostle Paul calls our earthly bodies cracks and crumbles.

It was humbling to go to Physical Therapy after my first long hospital stay and to learn how to walk and balance again after 36 days in bed. Or Occupational Therapy where they wanted me to count money and take timed tests of motor function – I failed miserably. Or Speech Therapy where they tested my cognitive skills and memory (flunked there as well). I still have days of “brain fog” where the neurons don’t seem to connect very well.

I have a saying that means much to me: Nothing to prove, nothing to lose. That is how I want to live life. God made me who I am, he wired me the way He did, He has given me a special work to do for Him. I don’t have to prove that I am anything other than who He made me to be and if I have nothing to prove, I have nothing to lose when I fail or don’t live up to someone’s expectations.

That is freedom! Ironically, when I started to wake up from my coma at United Hospital, I kept saying “Nothing to prove, nothing to lose.” It was if I knew that if there was ever a time to practice that mantra it was then, when I was at my weakest.

This is the route to personal authenticity – a commodity in short supply in today’s world, even among Christ-followers. Pretence is a lie. It is also hard to keep up. Authenticity is honesty about who we are and what we struggle with and the challenges we face. Others are drawn to authenticity because it is real and many people are not very real. Authenticity also leads to a new way of thinking about who we need to please.

I have hit a wall! Help

Your ministry has grown and you are tired. You are no longer feeling the joy and enthusiasm you once did. You are peddling faster but still cannot keep up. The way you have done leadership does not seem to be working anymore.

If these apply to you and your situation and you feel like you have hit a wall understand that this is normal! It is not about you, it is about experiencing growth that has made the way you have done leadership as an organization outmoded. It is a symptom of a need for change that will allow you to breath again and help take your ministry to the next level.

At predictable levels of growth, walls are hit and one will keep hitting one's head against that wall until modifications are made to leadership. Hitting a wall simply means that you need to make some transitions.

Typically this will mean that as a leader you will need to refocus your work around a smaller number of focused areas. To put it another way, if you have been flying at ten thousand feet, you need to go to 20,000 feet and let someone else take over what you did at 10,000 feet. There will be a sense of loss but refocusing your work is critical to breaking through the wall.

This will mean helping your staff refocus their efforts as well so that some of what you used to do is done by others. They in turn will need to give some things away so that they can refocus their efforts as well.

Often decision making structures will need to be refined. Boards will often need to give staff the authority for day to day decisions so that they can focus on the overall ministry and looking toward the future. Staff configurations will often need to change with a smaller lead team at the top.

If you have hit a wall I have two suggestions. First talk to a leader who has worked through the transition you need to make and find a coach to help you rethink how you are leading and what your priorities are. Second, consider reading Leading From the Sandbox which deals with these kinds of transitions.

Whatever you do, don't assume that your situation is unique. It is not. Everyone in leadership faces these transitions if your ministry is growing. Be encouraged, you can get beyond the wall.

Evaluating your leader: Nine simple questions

How is your leader doing as a leader? If you are a team member, here is a way of figuring that out. If you are a leader, here is a reminder of what is really important.

Does your leader bring great clarity to what the organization or team is about and how it will get there? That is job one of a leader. Clarity gives direction while ambiguity brings confusion.

Does your leader empower you to accomplish what you are tasked with through your gifts and wiring and without micromanagement? Empowerment values people while disempowerment devalues people.

Does your leader meet with you monthly as a mentor coach in order to remove barriers, help you move the ball forward and understand what you are doing? In doing so, does he/she provide you with honest and helpful feedback?

Does your leader keep his or her commitments and promises on a consistent basis? Good leaders don't ask their team to do what they do not do themselves.

Does your leader lead through their team or treat their team as ancillary to their "real" work? Do you feel that their number one job is to help the team be successful or that they are more concerned about their own work? Good leaders lead through their team.

Does your leader keep the team focused on results rather than activity? Are measurable results a focus of your leader? Do they help you strategize for achieving those results or is evaluation a secondary issue?

Does your leader foster a collegial atmosphere where team members work in concert with one another or are your team members isolated and siloed?

Is your leader open to honest feedback and suggestions or do you find them to be closed or defensive? Are there issues that are off limits for the team to discuss with their leader knowing that those issues are too sensitive to discuss?

If you had a choice today, would you sign up to work for the leader you work for? If yes why? If no why?

The Dangers of Isolation

I recently received news that a longtime ministry acquaintance, now retired had left his wife and filed for divorce. The few individuals who had the opportunity to talk to him about their concerns received no hearing. He was resolute and expressed no remorse.

This is a man who has a career of evangelical ministry behind him and in the twilight of his life has abandoned his wife. What he does not know is that this act of willful disobedience will hurt a lifetime of ministry influence.

Reflecting back on what I know about this friend there are a number of things that stand out. There is a long history of personal isolation and lack of accountability. Over the years, close friends were few. While he lived with people around him - he really lived in isolation because he did not share himself with others.

Isolation is more dangerous than we think it is. When we don't share our lives candidly with others - especially a group of trusted friends who can encourage us, speak truth to us, rub off on us, we end up living a hidden, guarded, isolated life. We neither open ourselves up honestly or are open to the influence of those around us. Isolated hearts become hard hearts because hidden parts of our life calcify rather than soften. In the end there was no one who this individual listened to - no one who could speak into his life.

A symptom of isolation is unaccountability. As I have reflected on my friend, there is a long history of his simply doing his own thing, regardless of what others said, thought or even supervisors requested. I guess this should not be a surprise: isolated hearts and lives breed unaccountability and a level of personal independence that is unhealthy - and dangerous.

While none of us know hearts my suspicion is that isolation toward others is also a symptom of isolation toward God and unaccountability toward others leads to unaccountability toward God. That is the ultimate danger in living in isolation and a lack of accountability.

I am sad, but take it as a cautionary tale for my own life.