Relational EQ is one of the most important skills for believers to excel in

The Christian life is one of becoming more like Jesus and in this arena perhaps one of the most important skills is that of relating to other people. When you think of the numerous interactions of Christ in the Gospels one is struck by His ability to draw people in, relate to their needs, speak to their issues and connect with both the poor and the rich. This skill was directly linked to His ability to draw people to Himself and then to the Father. 

We all have imperfect relational EQ. I have individuals that I am estranged from even though that causes me great sadness. The issues of life often can disrupt relationships and of course it takes two parties to solve disruptions. But all of us can focus on growing our ability to relate well to others which is critical if we want to influence them for Jesus. Since we may be the only version of Jesus they know, what do they think of Him when they relate to those who follow Him?

This is where the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives really shows up as each element has a direct relational component: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control. People are drawn to those characteristics which is why they were drawn to Jesus. Add to this qualities such as respect, truth telling, being non-judgmental, and full of grace and mercy and you have the wonderful combination of grace and truth that characterized Jesus. 

None of this means that we cannot say hard things when necessary but how we say them and why we say them is an important piece of the equation. Truth be told, some of the harder things we say to others often does not come from a righteous place in our hearts. 

While there are great books on Relational EQ, Scripture itself is full of teaching on the subject. For a believer it is a great place to start. To the extent that people do not see Jesus in us and in how we relate to them, they are unlikely to listen to what we might have to say about Him.

Perhaps the most discouraging for me are the many Christian leaders who do not treat their staff with dignity and respect and create cultures of fear and intimidation. These are people who claim to tell others about what it means to be transformed but their own treatment of people is harsh and unkind. As an organizational consultant many of the situations I encounter are dysfunctional staff cultures because of a leader at the top who does not model Godly relationships. When there is staff dysfunction it almost always starts at the top.

Just as I published this, the following video showed up on Facebook. Now ask yourself - was this a Jesus moment?

https://www.facebook.com/redwine72/videos/2487464221514422/

Here is our challenge. As we read Scripture we ought to be constantly aware of God's relational principles that we find there. As we read the Gospels we get a good idea of how God actually puts those relational principles into practice. The better our relational EQ the more like Jesus we become especially as we allow the Holy Spirit to help us grow in these areas.