All of life is sacred

The Ten Commandments can be summed up with one phrase: All of lie is sacred - or all of life is holy. There is no sacred/secular divide in life because we were made in God's image and God is not divisible between sacred and secular. In fact, before the fall there was no secular, only sacred. With the fall, men and women made the choice to pursue their own way (secular) and from the fall God has been calling men and women back to His way (the sacred).

It is in that light that the Ten Commandments, the moral law makes the most sense starting with "You shall have no other Gods before me." There can be no competing God's in our lives for either we worship Him wholly or we don't. While there are many competing Gods that call our attention, our sacred devotion is to one alone. In fact, if we got this one right, the following nine commands would not be necessary!

We should not misuse God's name because He is Holy and therefor our speech is holy and sacred as well. We remember the sabbath (in principle) because how we spend our time is sacred. We honor our father and mother because that is where we learn to live under authority and ultimately to honor God. We do not commit murder because life is sacred, we don't steal because our actions are sacred and God provides what we need. We don't commit adultery because marriage is sacred or give false testimony because truth is sacred. We don't covet because even our thinking is sacred.

Learning to look at all of life from a sacred perspective is part of the re-imaging each of us need. God created us in His image, an amazing truth that is hard for us to get our hands around. That image has been badly tarnished by sin but God has been re-imaging us from the time of the fall, culminating in the death and resurrection of Christ. To be re-imaged is to once again see life from a sacred perspective, to walk in the ancient ways of holiness and to learn to view all of life from God's perspective. As we do so the Holy Spirit re-images us piece by piece, thought by thought, action by action, commitment by commitment.

God's desire is that His people would once again claim the sacredness of life. It is who He created us to be. It was His intention from the day of creation. It is what He is recreating through salvation and the outworking of the Gospel and it is what He will bring to fruition when Heaven comes Down to Earth and the two become one - completely re-imaged and remade to the original intent of the creator. 

Our Inner Compass and Decision Making

Each of us has an inner compass which is made up of our convictions,  accumulated experiences, skill set and of course, the voice of the Holy Spirit. Wise individuals learn to pay attention to that inner compass and not to move forward on something where there is not inner peace. It is an intangible voice but one that should never be ignored.

It is not unusual for leaders to be pushed for decisions that others would like them to make. It is easy to accede to that pressure even when there is a "gut check" that says, "don't do it." We ought to be very cautious about moving forward when there is a "heart check" that exists in our spirit. My experience is that when I have ignored that "check in my spirit" I have been sorry later.

Another area where we need to heed our "inner discernment" is with people when positioning them within our organization. They or their advocates may push for a certain job or position when one's inner compass has yellow or red flags. Until those flags have been resolved it is unwise to make a move, regardless of the pressure.

Even our own job factors into our inner compass. There come times in our lives when our spirit is telling us that it is time to move on, do something different or move in a different direction. The best thing we can do is to take that prompting seriously and make it a matter of consideration and prayer.

Sometimes this prompting comes from our own experience and the wisdom we have gained over the years. That bank of experience and wisdom should be taken seriously. Other times, it is the Holy Spirit that is prompting us in one direction or another. Learning to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit is one of the greatest gifts we could give ourselves. He knows things we don't know and is our "counselor."

Heeding our inner compass, whether our own bank of experience or the promptings of the Holy Spirit does not come on the fly. They require one to be reflective, to think about decisions long enough to be comfortable with the direction one is going and to be prayerful in that reflection. That is why wise individuals are deeply reflective and refuse to make decisions before they are ready to or to simply allow others to make decisions for them. 

Reflection, prayer, time and past experience have a way of giving us great wisdom if we will slow down to make those considerations a priority. It can save us from lots of "dumb tax" and future regrets.

Are we people of the Book?

Christians have historically been called the "people of the book," because they placed so much emphasis on the Bible as the source of all truth. I was recently in a meeting of Christian workers and people were invited to come forward and read a verse or verses which had profoundly impacted their lives - life verses if you will. A long line formed and for almost an hour, those key verses were read.

What was interesting was that there were almost no duplications and as one connected the life verse with the individual reading it one realized how that "truth" had profoundly impacted their lives. It was one of the most moving experiences I have seen around the Word. And it was a reminder of the amazing spiritual power of the Word to change lives and direct the steps of our daily walk. Many were in full time ministry because the Holy Spirit used a specific Scripture to point them in that direction. 


Our world is awash with books on the Spiritual life. I have written several and am working on another. But, there is no substitute for the Word itself. It has power as God's voice to us that nothing else can compete with. While I did not like it at the time, I am thankful for the many verses I had to learn as a child (one a week for allowance) that have stayed with me for fifty five years now. Those verses inform my life, my decisions, my writing and my thinking daily.


Paul said to Timothy and to us, "But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17)."


When it comes to understanding and relating to God, understanding and relating to ourselves and understanding and relating to others - the three important areas of needed knowledge, nothing can substitute for God's Word: not messages, not reading about God's Word or small groups. It is His Word that has power to change our lives through the Holy Spirit. When we neglect the regular reading of His Word the joy of our lives is diminished and the quality of our followership is compromised. Second hand knowledge does not substitute for first hand experience.


Do you have a plan for time in God's Word daily? There are no substitutes. Spiritual formation and time in God's word are inseperable.

On not playing the role of the Holy Spirit

We give far too little credit to the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others and often try to play that role ourselves. Not very successfully I might add!

The Holy Spirit is called the Counselor by Jesus. That is an interesting title when you think of the role of a counselor, helping people clarify issues, resolve issues, move from dishealth in some area of life to health.


Here is what Jesus says the Holy Spirit will do. "he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment...He will guide you into all truth...He will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you" (John 16:7-15).

These are powerful statements about a member of the Trinity who resides in our lives and is fully capable of speaking to His children about areas of their lives that need attention.  We often underestimate the power of the HS to bring needed change in the lives of others and overestimate our ability to do that.


What do we do when we see something in a fellow brother or sister in Christ that we think needs attention? Often our first thought is that we need to solve it which is really saying, that we feel we need to help the Holy Spirit do His job. It does not work to be the conscience of others. Not only does it not work but we may not even understand the issues. Conscience is my sensitivity to the HS, not someone else playing that role for me. 

Perhaps we ought to spend more time praying for others than trying to define what they should be doing. It is the Holy Spirit that takes from what is Christ's and makes it known to us. I may be able to convince, manipulate and force someone to deal with an issue but only the HS can bring needed change (and He knows what the needed change is far better than we) from the inside and in a way that transforms.

Jesus spoke to this in Matthew 7:1ff. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" 

My concern for my fellow believer is demonstrated more by my willingness to pray for them than it is for me to play the role of the HS in their life. Yes there are times when we gently point out areas of fault or sin but we must never play the role of the Holy Spirit. He is the ultimate counselor.
 

Missions and the Holy Spirit

I am going to make an observation as a mission leader that some may take exception to but which I believe to be true: In general missionaries from the west have much different expectations of the Holy Spirit in the missions endeavor than those we serve in the majority world. 

It saddens me that many missionaries I meet have very low expectations of what God might actually do through their work. They work hard, expect little and often see little fruit. Often, the very people they work with (from the south and the east) have a much larger expectation of what God intends to do through their ministries. They expect much, and see much fruit.

Why the difference? I believe it has much to do with out view of the Holy Spirit, His work in our lives and our expectation or not that He will show up in a significant way.  

In the book of Acts - our best primer on missions there are two concepts that show up together with regularity: proclamation of the Gospel and the power of God. Word and power together. It never surprised Paul with God showed his power in places that the Gospel was proclaimed. It was that power that gave credence to their claims that God was who He was and had the power to change their lives. Miracles, healings, and radical life changes accompanied the proclamation of the Gospel. "In this way the word of the Lord spread widely and grew in power" (Acts 19:20).

Why is it that in the rationalistic west where all things must fit into a neat box and everything have a rationale explanation that we see so little of that power in our ministries? Why is it that in the majority world, that power is regularly seen in miraculous events such as healings that result in people coming to Christ? 

The Holy Spirit defies rational explanation. He shows up unexpectedly, and does things that defy explanation. In my own life, in 2007 He chose to miraculously heal my mitral valve when surgery would have been a death sentence because of my dire illness. My cardiologist cannot understand how that happened! So why should I be surprised when God heals regularly in much of the world resulting in people coming to Christ? Or shows up in other amazing ways? Even raising the dead resulting in the birth of churches!

We have been taught too often in the West that all our theology needs to fit into neat little boxes - but God defies fitting into a neat little box. When He chooses to show up in power, the unexpected takes place - we cannot control Him. The real question is whether we in our rationalism are willing to allow Him to show up, expect Him to show up, want Him to show up or believe He will show up. 

Expect little and we will see little. Expect that the Gospel is the "power" of God for the salvation of everyone who believes...and pray that God would do beyond what we could "ask or imagine" and He might just do that!

Believers in the majority world don't have the sophistication to know that God is supposed to fit into neat categories. When they read the Scriptures and see God doing the unexpected and miraculous they actually believe he operates that way. When He tells them to ask for much fruit they assume He means what he says. And God blesses them for their naive faith. Actually that naive faith is the faith God wants from each of us. 

We have a lot to learn about the power of God through His Spirit. We have a lot to learn about believing that His power breaks through spiritual strongholds and changes hearts. We have a lot to learn about naively believing that He wants to show up in power, surprise us and others and bring people to Him. As for missions from the west, I believe our lack of faith in the power of God, through His Spirit is one of the greatest barriers to seeing the Gospel come the way we see it came in the book of Acts.

What I am encouraged by are the number of workers from the west who are re-examining the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives and ministries. And even reclaiming the "forgotten God" of the Holy Spirit. 

Here is my challenge to every Christian. Read the New Testament for the first time! By that I mean, put aside all your theological training, grids and commentaries for a while. Just read the New Testament and ask yourself, "What does the New Testament say about the Holy Spirit and His power in my life?" And, "if what it says is completely true what might I expect Him to do in my life and ministry?" And then - here is the scary part - invite Him to surprise you in your life and ministry. It's an invitation He will not turn down. 

   

A personal code of ethics

Have you ever considered a personal code of ethics? Defining those commitments that you are committed to live by? None of us live perfectly but God continually calls us to a higher standard – one that reflects His holiness, righteousness and character. Since I am a ministry leader, my code of ethics reflect my calling. Having a defined code of ethics that we come back to regularly gives us road markers that keep us in the right lane and paid attention to, keeps us from losing our credibility, influence and even our ministries.



I WILL LIVE WITH TRUTHFULNESS AND HONESTY


When truthfulness and honesty are compromised, everything is compromised because every one of the ethical commitments that follow mean nothing if we are willing to be untruthful with others, with ourselves or with God. The lie was at the heart of the Adam and Eve and has been at the heart of sin ever since. For ministry leaders this includes not inflating ministry results, and always attributing sources when preaching and teaching. It is a life of transparent honesty in all areas.


I WILL TREAT ALL PEOPLE WITH DIGNITY AND HONOR


How we treat people: those we like and those we dislike, those like us and those unlike us, those who agree with us and those who don’t is an ethical issue. Jesus treated all people with dignity and honor with the exception of the hypocrites with whom he simply told the truth about their condition. For ministry leaders this is a major ethical commitment because our work is all about people – some who will like us and some not. The ethics of the world do not require us to treat all people with dignity and honor: the ethics of the Kingdom do.


I WILL LIVE WITH FINANCIAL INTEGRITY


This means that I will live within my means, I will model generosity toward God and others and I will be scrupulous in using ministry dollars and account for those ministry dollars used. When financial integrity starts to slip, that dishonesty has a ripple effect on other areas of life and an entitlement mentality takes the place of financial integrity. As a ministry leader I reject any entitlement mentality and live with gracious thanks for what God gives whatever that may me.


I WILL LIVE WITH MORAL INTEGRITY


Sexual purity goes to the heart of men and women made in the image of God and temples of the Holy Spirit. There is no room for ethical compromise here as it has devastating effects on our person, relationships and relationship with God. This means that I will be faithful to my spouse, will guard my relationships with the opposite sex, guard my thought life and intentionally avoid moral impurity of the heart, mind or actions.


I WILL BE A PEACEMAKER AND RECONCILER


Our world is filled with broken and unreconciled relationships. Jesus came to bring reconciliation between people and Himself and between brothers and sisters. The ethics of the Kingdom require that to the extent that it depends on us that we will live at peace with all men and be proactive in seeking that peace. This means that we will do all we can to keep short accounts, seek to understand others and live in peace rather than conflict with others.


I WILL ALWAYS LIVE WITH ACCOUNTABILITY TO OTHERS


All of our ethical commitments depend on honest and deep relationships with others where others have the ability to speak into our lives, challenge us, tell us truth when we need to hear it and help keep us faithful to our God and our calling. In the Kingdom we live in community not autonomously. Autonomy is at the root of ethical slippage.


I WILL NEVER HURT THE BRIDE


The church is the bride of Christ – His prized and beloved possession for which He gave His life. I will everything I can to build His church and never to hurt it. This means that even when I believe I have been mistreated by God’s people that I will do nothing that has the potential to hurt the congregation or congregations I serve.


I WILL CHOOSE A POSTURE OF HUMILITY RATHER THAN PRIDE


Humility is highly esteemed by God while pride is antithetical to life in His Kingdom. Humility means that I understand how God has gifted and wired me and wants to use me coupled with an understanding that in all other areas I need others. A life of humility is one where I submit to both God and others, work together rather than alone and value the contribution of others.


I WILL PUT GOD FIRST IN MY LIFE


All people have an ethical framework. My conviction is that the best ethics are the ethics of a holy and righteous God. Therefore I will seek to stay close to Christ and allow Him to transform my heart by grace, my thinking into His thinking so that His priorities become my priorities and my relationships reflect His relationship with me. I understand that my ethical understanding grows and becomes more complete as I become closer to the source of ethical conduct.

What is in the way of your growth?

Think about the excitement that new believers have when they come to Christ and experience His presence for the first time. And, the amazing life changes that can come in a very short time. Watching those changes in our own lives or in the lives of others again reminds us of the power of the Holy Spirit and He does His thing in bringing transformation.

But that is not the whole story because we also know that for many people - perhaps for us at times, periods come when that growth slows or stalls out. It is as if they have hit a plateau and simply cease to go deeper with God.

What causes this stall in spiritual transformation? I believe that it often has to do with things in our lives that get in the way of God and prevent further growth. Until those areas that are in the way we are not likely to see the growth that we once did.

Paul's letter to the Ephesians bears this out. In that Epistle, he lists a long list of "put offs" - behaviors that are incompatible with our new life in Christ. These put offs include falsehood, anger, stealing, unwholesome talk, grieving the Holy Spirit, bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, malice, sexual immorality, any kind of impurity, greed, and foolish talk. He then lists a comparable list of put ons that reflect the new life we have in Christ.

To the extent that we allow closets in our lives where the light of Christ has not penetrated, we prevent Him from entering that space and the less space we give Him the more our growth is stymied. The greater the space we give him the more our growth flourishes.

Here is a truth. All of us have areas where God is talking to us about putting something off so that He can fill more space in our lives. Often they are the very things that wake us up in the middle of the night whether worry, sin, unforgiveness, anger, or any number of issues. What He wants is to give those areas to Him, allowing Him to fill that space and every time we do that we give Him more of ourselves, put off more of ourselves, and experience more of Him. It is removing barriers to growth - and it is a life long process that brings us more and more of Him.

What is in the way of your growth today? An unforgiven relationship? Lack of trust that God can provide for your needs? An area of sin hidden in a locked closet? A lack of thankfulness for God's provision for you? Whatever it is, take Paul's advice, and put it off, so that you can put on those things that are of Christ's character and so that He can fill you with more of Himself. Every time we do that we grow!

The Crack in the Rock

Guest contributor, Ellen Conserva. Ellen ministers to at risk women and children at a ministry center in Thailand.

There is a new baby at Agape. He is 9 months old and really sick. He is barely able to hold his head up. And oh so thin. It's amazing, really, how huge the human skull is on a baby, when there is no fat on the face or hair on the head. It was obvious that he was not thriving and whoever was taking care of him before his arrival, was not coping with parenting, or even realizing that this baby has HIV.



Recently, I made it a point to go in and hold him, as I wasn't sure how long he would be for this life. He was sleeping on his side, propped up all around. So I started whispering to him and stroking his arm, his skin leathery and moving like it isn't attached to anything, as if it is just draped over the bone. His eyes flickered and I picked him up. He was so awkward to hold, spindle-like limbs jutting out all over. He opened his eyes and looked at me with no expression and then started to cry. I kept talking quietly, telling him he was going to be okay now, he would get better, and how I was sorry he was so ill. He cried harder and I pulled him into my chest, trying to make the most bodily contact with him that I could. I whispered, "I love you, little darling." He cried louder. I rocked and swayed and he writhed and wailed. He seemed to have this expressionless sort of look on his face, even as he cried. So, I put him down again, on his side, propped him up the way he was, and he stopped crying. He let out a little sigh and fell back into a contented sleep. He was much happier in his sterile crib than in my warm and loving arms.


This didn't surprise me much, just confirmed to me what he is lacking in his life. Human touch. Gentle words. Real love. It was as if he was crying out to me, saying, "Are you kidding me? Don't hold me. Don't talk to me so sweetly. Don't love me. I have learned from birth how to make myself content and to live without this gentle touching and lovely whispering. Don't throw off my groove. Don't start making me believe in something or someone who will love me like that because it's just setting me up for disappointment. You are really irritating me here. Put me down and return me to the world I know, the place where I have adapted. It isn't the best, but it is the safest. Leave me alone." I will not, of course, leave him alone. I will go back again and again and try and pull him out of that place where he thinks it is so much better.

We can be like that with God, can't we? We become so enmeshed in our own world. In our own place of darkness or sin or bad habits or wrong thinking. We believe things about ourselves that are not true. We push away things in our lives that would be good for us, but we prefer the bad familiar. We see what could be a blessing in our lives, but it seems like too much hard work to reach out and take it. We hear the voice of God, telling us where we are going wrong, but we have this amazing ability to rationalize our sin, make it seem like it isn’t that bad.


And God whispers...and we swat at our ears and tell Him to leave us alone. He pulls us closer into Himself, but we resist and kick out with our pathetic self-will. We cry out that WE know best, that it's easier to cope with the little bit of what we have than to readjust and surrender to His love. He pulls and He pulls. And we push and we push.

This reminds me of when Moses asked to see God's glory. And God said that He would cause all of His goodness to pass in front of Moses and that He would say His name out loud. But before God passed by, Moses had to be shoved down into a crack in a rock. And God had to cover Moses' head with His Hand. And God said, "After I have passed by, I will take My hand away and you can look at My back. But not My face. No one looks at My face and lives." So God passed by and as He did, He spoke words to Moses. He talked about who He is and how He feels about Moses. And He mentions His love several times, how it is abounding and how He maintains it. Moses had to hide because God is so overpowering. So bright. So fierce. So shocking. God doesn’t dumb Himself down or use a dimmer switch with His love and glory. It just come at us with all barrels blazing. His love is long and tight and His words of endearment keep flowing from His lips and He never runs out of words to express how much He loves us. And He never lacks ways to show us, either. And He longs for us to know this and to see Him, even if it is only His back.


Just like the sick baby. I know what he needs. I know what is best for him. I know I can help him. But he thinks he knows best. He thinks he has what he needs to survive. But the truth is, he will die unless he allows us to help him bond with human love. When he comes to realize what true love is, his face will change from being dead and cold to having a radiance about it, like most children have. I long for that day. I want to be a part of that love process.

And just like me. I think I know what is best for me. I know what I need. But I don't know what I need like God knows what I need. God told Moses the things he needed to hear. He showed Moses just a flash of His glory. And it was enough. When Moses went back down the mountain, his face was radiant. He had been in the presence of God and he knew how much God loved him.

As I continue to grow and learn in the crack of my rock, I want to feel comfort from the pressure of God's Hand on my head as He passes by and whispers truth about me and about Who He is, and about how much He loves me. Kicking against God only makes Him hold me tighter. But it doesn’t stop Him from wanting to show me His glory. He wants to be seen. And I am the vehicle He chooses to use. When see God, I radiate God. And His Glory is made known. Even when I am in the crack of a rock.

Transparency with Ourselves

A life of transparency with others has the benefit of encouraging us to be transparent with God about our lives as well. It is not that God needs our help in this – He is fully aware of who we are and where we struggle. He does not need our transparency but we do. Not as a matter of guilt but as a matter of knowing where He is gently (sometimes not so gently) prodding us to move closer to him and away from the distractions of self and sin.



Understanding our own hearts, our particular vulnerabilities (our shadow side) and areas where we need to grow spiritually keeps us from pride, from self-satisfaction, from the often unbiblical view of life and success and keeps us grounded in our need of His grace and presence. All of us would like to think that we are better than we are, more mature than we are and less vulnerable than we are. When we measure our lives against the truth of His word we realize that none of that is true. We need God desperately and one another deeply. Our hearts – by themselves – are prone to mislead us regarding our true spiritual condition.


The moment we start to fool ourselves about our own lives we begin to compromise our influence. This is why it is so critical to take the time regularly to examine our own lives, motives, priorities, and thinking – being as honest with ourselves as we can. We often avoid such analysis because it can be painful but ironically it is part of the path to deep influence because it is in our need for His grace and the ongoing transformation of our lives through His Spirit that our lives have the most influence.


Such self and spiritual understanding gives our lives authenticity and authenticity gives us influence because there is an inherent integrity to lives that embrace truth rather than self-deception. Here is an interesting question to ponder: Where are you most likely to be self deceived? It is an “ouch” question but one that merits personal analysis. Self deception comes in many varieties and we are each prone to our own areas of deception that unless understood become spiritual traps robbing us of influence.


On this count, there are a growing number of men and women who have a “spiritual mentor:” a mature and insightful individual who has permission to probe their spiritual lives and ask the kinds of questions that cause them to think deeply. This is not about having someone tell them what to do or God’s will for their life, or taking the place of the Holy Spirit. It is about asking the probing questions that help discern the spiritual crevices of their lives.


People of deep influence are people of truth. They seek truth in their lives, in their relationship with God, in their relationships and in their work. The pursuit of truth is a Godly pursuit. Remember that the evil one is the father of lies. As citizens living in a fallen world we are prone to believe those lies. As citizens of heaven we are committed to pursuing truth.


Truth comes to us through the Word of God and the practice of meditation on His word where we measure His word against our own lives. It comes to us through the Holy Spirit who is our counselor and “the Spirit of truth” (John 14:16). And it comes to us through close, trusted friends who are given permission to speak into our lives even when the words are hard to hear. People of deep influence have those people, listen to God’s Spirit and spend significant time in God’s word. They are pursuers of truth in all of life.


In the pursuit of truth and wisdom, there is no substitute for a lifelong study of the Wisdom literature in the Old Testament: Job, Psalms, and Proverbs. What passes for wisdom in our world is often foolishness to God and vice versa. Saturating ourselves in wisdom and truth becomes a filter through which we view the messages that come to us on a daily basis regarding wisdom and success. The wisdom of the Kingdom is foolishness to the world. The juxtaposition of a “fool” in God’s eyes with the “wise” is sobering when one considers how our society defines both kinds of people.


These books challenge us to understand the fear of the Lord by following him in all arenas of life and to examine our hearts, motives and followership continually. They help us understand the holiness of God and His heart of truth and grace. They are a goldmine of wisdom for those who desire deep influence with others.

Presence

Our greatest influence will come through our personal interactions with others. Distant and unapproachable leaders may look impressive (for a while) but they will not have the kind of deep influence that a present and approachable leaders has. Our greatest influence is life on life and that requires relationship, time with others and shared work or life.



Through high school I had contact with Dr. Walter Kaiser as he mentored me from a distance in theology and the Old Testament. I admired him greatly but did not know him well. Then, as his teaching assistant at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School I saw him almost daily for four years when school was in session. I was in his home and saw his interactions with his family. I was in a small group with him and students in my cohort. I watched him deal with the many challenges he faced as the Dean of the Seminary. I saw the authentic, honest, unvarnished and transparent Dr. Kaiser and his life rubbed off on mine in a powerful way. Most of all I saw his amazing heart for God and desire to influence the world for Christ. He gave me an amazing gift, one that I can never repay in allowing me into his life and I was changed because of it.


People who want to have deep influence have a commitment to other people. They love people and are willing to invest in them. While I am by nature more of an introvert than an extrovert much of my life is spend with key individuals who are my colleagues and whom I desire to influence. My writing is merely an extension of that time with people where the real lessons are learned and the deepest influence takes place. This is where the power of transparency is at its best.


Since high school I have practiced the discipline of spending quality time with a select number of individuals – usually around ten at a time – and continue to do so to this day. These may be formal mentoring relationships or often informal where time together, dialogue, and discussion allow life on life influence. Sometimes it is fairly one way, sometimes two way. These are individuals that I believe God desires me to have influence on for a season. In some cases they are fairly young, in others, middle age or older.


One of the mistakes in the western world as it relates to spiritual transformation is to focus on class room teaching or reading. While these can be valuable pieces of the equation, the reality is that the most powerful growth and transformation is life on life rather than primarily classroom. That is why Jesus lived with twelve disciples, dialogued with them, did ministry with them and even sent them on their own for special ministry. But his influence was one of presence with them rather than simply through his teaching. It was life influencing life.


I was influenced by Dr. Kaiser through his preaching and mentoring from a distance but I was profoundly influenced when I had personal contact with him over a period of four years. What people see in us, what they discuss with us, what happens when we invite them into our lives is far more profound than any classroom experience.


At fifty four years old I know that my deepest influence will be through a new generation of leaders whom I can have a part in developing. These are national leaders from around the world as well as those from this country. It has become one of my four key priorities and it takes place first through presence so that I can invite them into my life. Once there is presence and a relationship there can be ongoing mentoring face to face or from a distance.


What is interesting about presence is that we don’t know how God is going to rub off on others. Often someone will say to me, “Do you know what I remember about our time together?” When I say “What?” they will relate some facet of a conversation that I don’t even remember. The Holy Spirit had been working just where they needed encouragement or a word and I had no clue at the time – but that is the magic of life on life interaction.


Because time is precious I think and pray about who I choose to invest in personally through my presence. I want to develop other deep influence individuals who will in turn do the same. At its heart this is about transparency and inviting others into my life.

Unfinished Business

On December 4, 2007 I went to the emergency room because of severe breathing difficulties. What followed was a 43 day hospital stay, 35 of them in the ICU hovering between life and death. It is only by God’s grace and mercy that I survived against impossible medical odds. I was fifty one years old at the time. It is sobering to me that I never should have woken up from my drug induced coma or seen my 52nd birthday.



None of us know how many days are allotted to us except God who wrote each one of them in his book long before we were born. What we do know is that God gives us the time we need to fulfill His assignment for us on this earth just as He did Jesus. This is why intentional living is so important. We want to live at the intersection of His call and His gifting for His purposes.


Living with clarity is living with the recognition that life is a gift, each day is a day of grace and life’s duration is uncertain. Therefore we want to live with as little unfinished business in our lives as possible. There is great freedom in that because unfinished business is like weights in our backpacks that we carry around – burdens that weigh on our conscience or hearts. That weight can be areas of our lives that we have not completely given to God, relationships that are broken and need reconciliation, things that God has been nudging us about but we have not responded, or other areas of life where we have unresolved issues.


People of deep influence live with great freedom because they are intentional about living with as little unfinished business as possible. To the extent that it depends on them they do what they can to live in the freedom of a clear conscience before God and others. Paul lived this way and wrote to the Corinthians….


Periodically I ask myself what unfinished business there is in my life. Usually there is some since God continually reveals to me new areas where I need to press into Him or pursue a higher level of obedience. We will never be free from all unfinished business until we see Him face to face but continually closing that gap rather than living with the burden is freedom.


This is also why I live with an annual plan (Key Result Areas and my Annual Ministry Plan). In living intentionally rather than accidentally I ensure that I do not forget what God’s big rocks for my life are and that I have a plan for living them out. Each month, on my retreat day I revisit that annual plan and realign my life and priorities around it. At the end of each year I craft my plan for the coming year. This applies to both my professional and personal life.


A critical area for unfinished business is in the area of relationships. This side of heaven we will never be free from conflict in relationships. The Apostle Paul had people who intentionally hurt his ministry. In addition, there were relational breakdowns with Barnabas who had mentored and encouraged him over another relational breakdown with John Mark. Jesus had his detractors in the Pharisees. And in leadership, there will always be people who disagree with a leader’s direction or simply don’t like him or her. It is one of the inevitable burdens of leadership.


People of deep influence understand this. But they are also men and women of peace who are always willing – to the extent that they can – to bring relational peace and understanding. They will go the second and third mile to resolve what can be resolved and then live at peace with what cannot be resolved.


This is not an easy discipline. It means that when others fight dirty with us we don’t respond with their tactics (innocent as doves but wary as serpents). Sometimes, living at peace means that we live with the pain that others inflict and leave our reputations to God. Sometimes it means that we agree to disagree but refuse to fight, slander or impugn those who may do that to us. Sometimes it means sitting down and listening carefully, trying to understand another’s point of view even if we do not agree with is.


This is not about accepting unbiblical behavior – which so often occurs in the church or Christian organizations behind a masquerade of spiritual rhetoric. It does mean that we do not respond in the spirit that others may display toward us and that to the extent that we can we will live at peace with all people. Where we need to confront we will do so with honesty but also the desire for understanding and reconciliation. When that is not possible we may have to take action as leaders but we remain committed to displaying Godly character and not sinning ourselves in our anger or pain.


The test of our character is not when all is going well but when we are under attack. That is when what God has built into our core being, the recesses of our lives becomes evident. People of deep influence are slow to anger, willing to confront in love, always desire understanding and reconciliation, are wise and measured in their response to attack and refuse to adopt the tactics of revenge but leave their reputations in the hands of God.


This last issue of our reputation is perhaps one of the hardest lessons to learn. I have had periods of life where my reputation was dragged through the mud by those who despised me. I don’t know of any good leader who has no had this happen to them. Everything in me wanted to fight back, set the record straight and get even with those who had inflicted deep pain.


One of the most valuable lessons I learned from David in Psalm 73 and 37 is that at the end of the day, God is able to defend my reputation far better than I ever can – and when I try I end up adopting the very tactics that I found repugnant. What God wanted of me is to live with His character, in the power of His spirit and let Him deal with those who hurt me in His (usually) gentle way and allow Him to deal with my reputation. It is in these times when I learned the most valuable lessons of character and leadership.


There is great freedom in keeping unfinished business to a minimum. It is the freedom that comes from living out the clarity of what God has called us to without the burden of heavy emotional loads or unclear consciences to weigh us down.

Thinking Leverage in our Lives

One of the reasons that some develop deep influence is that they are always looking for ways to leverage their lives, opportunities and ministries. It is a way of thinking. My writing is about leverage. I can reach far more people by writing than I can otherwise. I was so committed to that leverage that I self published my first two books when publishers said there was no market – and the books were later picked up by NavPress.



In our discussion on intentional living I wrote about the importance of thinking through how we use our most valuable resource – our time. Wise individuals leverage their time whenever possible in order to leverage that resource. When I travel, I often bring others with me which exposes them to the world of missions and gives me time to develop a relationship. When I speak, I will use that material for blogs or writing when I can. Instead of traveling to many different locations when international I will instead invite people to come to where I am. It is all about maximizing opportunity for kingdom purposes.


In my fifties, I know that what I leave behind in others is more powerful than what I can accomplish myself. Thus, a great part of my time and energy today goes into mentoring and coaching others. My investment in their lives and ministries is leverage for me because their contribution multiplies my contribution.


Life should not be seen as a series of random “one off” events but rather one of interconnected ministry activities that if thought through and wisely planned can provide a critical mass of opportunity that allow us to leverage our time, gifting and activity. Jesus was a master of this: by living life with his disciples, every event, conversation or situation became an opportunity to grow them and of course, in the power of the Holy Spirit, they launched the church on his ascension.


The example of Christ, where he involved his disciples (both the twelve and a larger group of followers) in His life and ministry is a powerful one because we have the same opportunity. Why do something by ourselves if we can involve others? Recently I was involved in a situation where ministry relationships were strained and needed to be sorted out. Rather than deal with it by myself – even though I was the primary player to do so – I brought two other leaders with me. In the process they learned some lessons in conflict resolution.


Wise leaders also think leverage when it comes to spending ministry dollars. I have some ministry friends who have a propensity to think very big when it comes to budgets for various initiatives. One of them asks my advice from time to time and I tell him that I always divide his monetary needs by ten and that is what he ought to be spending. Perhaps it is because many ministry folks have never been in business where the bottom line actually matters. They just think God will provide and rather than thinking leverage they try to raise far more than is actually needed.


Leaders of deep influence do not waste time, resources, opportunities, relationships, or strategy: they always look for ways to leverage these God given resources for maximum ministry impact. It is a way of thinking – and a contrarian way of thinking at that.

Transformation of our Priorities

It is the transformation of our thoughts and the bringing of them into alignment with how Christ thinks that makes possible the third area of needed transformation – that of our priorities. Our priorities reveal what is truly important to us rather than what we claim is important to us.



Jesus made an amazing statement in John 6:38, considering that He was one of the three members of the trinity. He said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.” Here was Jesus committed to doing the will of His father, in submission to His father’s will. His highest priority was to do the will of the one who sent Him.


In the same vein, speaking to His disciples he said, “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” For the Christ follower, life is not about us – it is all about Him. To the extent that we believe that life is about Him and that we are here to do His will, we will consult Him regarding what is truly important in our lives.


One of the fundamental decisions each of us makes is whether life is about us or about Christ! Life about us is about our agenda while life about Christ is about His agenda, knowing that He wants to use us to advance His agenda in our world. The two choices are mutually exclusive and how we answer that question will directly determine the influence we have for Him.


Even after we have answered that mega question we face the micro questions in many different ways each day, each week, each month, each year. Life is a series of choices and those choices are smaller versions of the bigger question: Is life about me or about God?


The question of our life agendas is a deeply personal one that requires significant thought and introspection. I know pastors, for instance whose motivation is all about success as defined by numbers which looks very much like a personal agenda. I meet other pastors whose motivation is all about helping God’s people become all that they can be which looks very much like God’s agenda. Both are involved in God’s work but their priorities are different. It is all too possible to be in full time ministry with agendas and priorities that are more about us than about God.


As I lead an international organization, I am always faced by the personal question, is this about me as a leader, or is this about God and His mission for our world? The question is not how others see me (it is always possible to portray a God agenda) but my own personal agendas and motivations and therefore priorities. Are they driven by my ambition and goals or is my ambition that of fulfilling God’s purposes and goals. Without introspection on this issue it is possible to fooled about whose priorities we are looking after and probably all of us have occasions or periods when it is more about us than it is about God. And it is often when we have our priorities mixed up that we get ourselves into trouble.


I believe that the question of agendas and priorities becomes more significant as we grow in our leadership responsibility and scope. Responsibility brings with it power and authority. Success brings with it a history of making more right calls than wrong calls. Thus the temptation to act personally without considering God’s agenda or priorities grows as our self confidence grows. Ironically, the more successful we are the more critical it is to ensure that we understand our motivations and that they are centered on accomplishing God’s will rather than our own.

Our Thinking and Transformation

Paul makes a remarkable statement about how he lived life when he said, “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Think about the picture he paints with this metaphor: taking captive – bringing into submission every thought to make those thoughts obedient to Christ.



What does it mean to make our thoughts obedient to Christ? The implication is that our thoughts can be disobedient to Christ or obedient to Christ! We often think about actions or behaviors that are disobedient or obedient to Christ. But the source of either disobedience or obedience lies first and fundamentally in how we think and whether our thinking is in sync with Christ.


Taking every thought captive is really about intentionally seeking to align our thinking with how God thinks. It is understanding His concerns and making them our concerns, grasping His priorities and making them our priorities, seeking always to understand how Christ would view the issues we are facing or thinking and aligning our thinking with His.


I have often taught in various countries and cultures and received the response when talking about ethical issues that Scriptures speak to, “but this is how we do it in our country” even when their practices are in direct violation of Biblical teaching. My standard response is “there is a way of doing it in your country and a way of doing it in my country but there is also a way of doing it in God’s Kingdom and that is our central concern because we are members of His kingdom.” I say that knowing that for every one of us there are areas where we find it desperately hard to bring our thinking into alignment with Christ’s because we know that in doing so there is a cost to our autonomy! And sometimes it is very inconvenient.


One of the reasons that people of deep influence immerse themselves in Scripture is that they understand that it is the key to understanding the heart of God and the mind of God so that they can align their thinking with God’s thinking. As Paul said in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.


As I write this, our nation is in a political battle over immigration reform with loud and obnoxious voices on all sides. It would be easy to simply take a side, depending on one’s political orientation. But there is a deeper question: What does God have to say about how we treat the widow and orphan or the alien in our midst? In other words, does God have anything to say in the din of opinions, fear and agendas? A reading of the Old Testament would suggest that God does have something to say and I am more concerned that I take into account His concerns than I am of the concerns of my particular political party.


Those who are committed to bringing their thoughts into alignment with God’s values and concerns are always asking themselves, “what does God have to say about this issue? They do not simply accept uncritically the thinking of those around them or the prevailing wisdom of their culture. There is a way of viewing issues in our culture but we are people of God’s kingdom and the two are not the same.


The transformation of our minds and thinking takes place as we evaluate our thinking against God’s Word and examine closely the life of Jesus and His teaching in the Gospels to discern how He thinks. And then it is bringing alignment to our own thinking so that it aligns with His thinking. In the process our minds are literally renewed through the truth and light of God and the result is that we are “able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).


Transformation of our minds only takes place with a deep desire on our part to think like Christ and an intentionality to understand His thinking and align my thinking so that it matches His. This requires more than a surface reading of Scripture. It takes a thoughtful approach to His truth, and a willingness to take our thinking captive, in Paul’s terminology and make it obedient to the thinking of Jesus.

Who does God want us to be?

God wants us to be the person he designed and made us to be. He wants you to be the person he designed and made you to be. Paul says in Ephesians 2:10 that “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The word “workmanship” literally means “a unique work of art” indicating that each of us is a uniquely designed work of art by God of which there are no others like us. God designed a unique me, never to be repeated, and a unique you never to be repeated. We are one of a kind!



And in his creativity he wired and gifted us for a unique purpose that only we can fulfill, for we were “created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God created me to lead the organization I lead. He created me to write books. He created me to be a husband of a wonderful woman and two wonderful boys. And he created me for a unique work in his kingdom that I am uniquely wired to fulfill and the same is true for every one of us no matter what our occupation or circumstance.


Finally you and I were created for relationship with Christ and in Christ we have the two desires of every heart: the desire for relationship (I experience that in Christ and His people); and a desire for significance (the unique work God created just for me for).


When I come to Christ and invite him into my life, the unique me that God created me to be does not change. I was hard wired with gifts of vision, strategy and communication. Everything else I was not hardwired for! In coming to Christ, he takes His creation and infuses it with His Holy Spirit empowering the wiring he gave me at birth, forgiving my sin and launches me on a journey that the New Testament calls sanctification – the life long journey of my lower and sinful nature being taken off piece by piece and His holy nature being put on, piece by piece. That journey of sanctification or spiritual transformation is not complete until we meet him face to face in heaven but it is an amazing and wonderful journey to be on.


Many people have the thinking that God wants to change our lives 180 degrees when we come to Him. That is a misunderstanding of God’s intentions. Many of our behaviors will change and need to change 180 degrees but God wants to take His unique creation and complete that creation which was marred by sin entering our world so many eons ago by helping us become the us He made us to be. The process of us realizing the full potential for which we were created is the process of spiritual transformation.


Many people fear the process of spiritual transformation and never embrace it, believing erroneously that it will cost them too much. This fear is the essence of our old sinful nature that craved autonomy. The prophet Isaiah put that autonomy from God this way: “We all like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). Autonomy from God leads away from God and toward our shadow side. Engaging with God in ongoing life transformation leads us toward His life and character – and His impact on others.


Many others simply do not pay enough attention to this aspect of their lives and end up living at a shallow spiritual level (even many in ministry) substituting activity for true life change. It is a trap that prevents many from realizing their full potential or having the kind of deep influence God designed them for. Shallow spiritual lives lead to shallow influence even if masked by impressive achievements. There simply is no substitute for going deep with Christ!


Christ’s vision for our life is very simple: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). There is a direct connection here between the transforming of our lives, the renewing of our minds and our ability to understand “God’s good, pleasing and perfect will!” The ongoing transformation of our lives as a life priority is directly connected with the influence we have and is a prerequisite for being a person of deep influence.


One of the temptations for ministry leaders who live and work in full time vocational ministry is to substitute work for God (our ministry) for the work of God in our hearts and lives. Not only does this substitution hurt the individual involved as they do not become all that God designed them to be but it hurts those that they influence as their model is one of doing rather than one of becoming. This has led to countless Christ followers who have spent their lives focusing on either doing or modifying behaviors to meet the standards of their church or leader without significant transformation of the deepest core of their lives.


It is a matter of priority. If my priority is that of seeing authentic spiritual transformation take place in my life, I will bring all of life under His lordship and will engage in His business and will modify my life in many areas to bring it into alignment with His. But if I focus instead on doing things for Him and modifying my behaviors rather than that of spiritual transformation I will end up frustrated and with a substitute transformation that is more about me than about Him. Too many Christ followers have settled for the latter rather than committing to the former. The first brings real life change while the latter is often little more than legalism. One ministry I work with actually has a guiding principle called “Intimacy before Impact” to remind themselves of the proper priority!

Leadership and Spiritual Transformation

Our influence as leaders is not so much about how we lead but from what source we choose to lead. The source of our leadership is the key to deep influence and at its core is our desire to embrace the spiritual transformation Christ wants to bring to our lives as we live in relationship with him.



Spiritual transformation leads to changes in our character, lifestyle, habits and practices. All too, often, however we have reversed the order thinking that if we live or act a certain way that we will be pleasing God. Just watch new believers as they are coached by other believers in what lifestyle choices they should embrace and what they should avoid. Quickly they are enculturated into a lifestyle that looks like those around them. What looks a certain way on the outside often has nothing to do with true spiritual transformation. Furthermore, real transformation is a work of the Holy Spirit, not other people as He convicts us of sin and brings us to repentance and new practices that are consistent with the character of God.


Transformation is not about the adoption of a new set of rules and regulations (now that I am a Christ follower) rather than the old set of rules and regulations that I lived by previously. Such an understanding of transformation is as skewed and twisted as that of the Pharisees in the New Testament who substituted outward regulations for inner transformation.


Spiritual transformation is the process by which God, through his Holy Spirit and with our active cooperation, on an ongoing basis brings change to our lives as we allow Him to realign our lives with His. It is a deeply personal process that impacts our hearts, our minds, priorities, relationships and experiences. There is no part of our lives that God does not want to infuse his life into and to bring transformation to.


This transformation is at the core of Influence because the deepest influence we will ever have does not come out of our wisdom or leadership but from a wisdom, character, heart, and mind that have been so transformed by the Holy Spirit that they more and more reflect the wisdom, character, heart and mind of God! This is not primarily about knowing about God (although that is important) but knowing God and choosing a life that is always open to His reformation and actively cooperating with His transformation.

Antidotes to the Shadow Side

All of us have unique vulnerabilities – places or times or situations where a shadow side can show up if we are not aware, careful and have a plan to compensate for them. Vulnerabilities are not something to be ashamed of – we are human – but to be aware of and to manage so that the vulnerability does not turn into something worse.


I know that I am vulnerable when I am overly tired. So does my family who can be the brunt of my cranky attitude. I also know that I am prone to periods of depression if I do not get enough rest. At the same time I tend to say “yes” to too many things and it takes people around me to help me moderate my schedule and think realistically about what my body can take especially after two severe bouts in the ICU that I am still recovering from.


The evil one is described as a prowling lion waiting to devour. Lions love the tall grass where they can hide, watching for just the right moment to attack. They watch for the laggard of the herd, the vulnerable animal and then at the right moment they launch an often fatal blow. That is an accurate description of the evil one who loves to discourage, hurt or take down God’s people. It is also why we must be even more aware in our times of vulnerability than we are in our times of strength. Satan is most likely to attack when we are weak, not strong.


This again takes us back to the importance of self knowledge and acute awareness of our strengths and weaknesses. Satan wants us to live unaware and unexamined lives while the Father wants us to be acutely aware and wise in how we live. After all, every day, there is a lion on the prowl waiting for a moment when he can launch an attack.


Because I am by nature an introvert (in an extrovert’s job), my tendency would be to be by myself when tired and worn out. But that is when I am personally most vulnerable so I compensate by spending time with family or friends rather than by myself. Knowing my vulnerable moments I seek to take offensive moves in order to stay healthy.


I don’t need to repeat the list of temptations common to man that assail us in our weak moments. The list is long and apart from the empowerment of the Holy Spirit we are weak. You know what your vulnerabilities are and I know what mine are. The real question is whether we are intentional in our awareness and have a plan to offset those temptations so that vulnerabilities do not become casualties. All of us are vulnerable, none of us need be casualties to those vulnerabilities.


There is no escaping our shadow side but there are ways to minimize its damage in our lives and in the lives of others. I believe that there are six major antidotes to our shadow sides: none of them are enough in themselves but practice together they are powerful tools toward deep influence. They really involve choices so I am going to posit them as choices we make – and each of us makes them regularly.


Living in isolation or living in relationship


We live in a highly individualistic culture at least in the west. It is easy for us to live in isolation rather than in relationship. Yet it is in authentic relationships with others that life rubs on life, where iron sharpens iron, where we are challenged to be our best and to become all that God intended us to be. Mary Ann and I have made the cultivation of key relationships (we call them friends for life) a high priority in our lives because it is so critical to a “healthy” us.


I am convinced that the healthier our relationships, the healthier we are. The more isolated we live, the greater the opportunity for the shadow side to show itself – and ultimately to hurt our influence.


Living with autonomy or accountability


This follows from the first choice. Choosing to live in authentic relationship is a choice to live with accountability rather than autonomy because with relationship comes healthy accountability. If I were to choose to do something stupid with my life, I know that there are a good number of friends who would show up at my door and call me to reason.


There are also those whom I invite to speak into my life if they sense the shadow side is showing up. They are people I trust, whose feedback I value and who I know have my best interests in mind. Choosing to live with accountability is a major hedge against our shadow sides becoming liabilities. Those who live without accountability and whose relationships are only with those who affirm them rather than who can be honest with them almost always end up on the shoals!


Living with self knowledge rather than an unexamined life


There are things I don’t like about me! But knowing those things is far better than ignoring them and pretending they don’t exist. The better I know me, the better the chance I have that I can cooperate with God so that I become the me I want to be and the me He made me to be. That means knowing how God wired me, where my shadow side is, what my unique vulnerabilities are and where and how I can hurt others because of my makeup.


People of deep influence are always people who are deeply self aware, appropriately introspective so that they understand their motivations, tendencies, areas where they are vulnerable to temptation and how they deal with those vulnerabilities. Their self knowledge includes an understanding of God’s amazing grace in their lives and they are not overwhelmed by their sin but by God’s grace. They are not seeking to prove themselves to God but to simply live in His presence, forgiveness and grace on a daily basis.


Living with humility rather than pride


If we are living with self knowledge it is very hard to be prideful. We know that we are justified by Christ (made clean and whole) and that he is sanctifying us as we walk with him (becoming more and more like him) but we also know that we live with brokenness and sin and shadow sides that we wish were not there. Humility is recognizing that life is about Him, not us and that everything we are is because of Him and His work in our lives.


Pride is a rejection of God’s place in our lives and an elevation of us! A rather presumptuous attitude! Pride does not want to know the truth about ourselves and actually promotes an alternate truth about who I really am. Humility has a nothing to prove/nothing to lose attitude that is not afraid of who the true me is, does not need to wear a façade to pretend there is an alternate me and realizes that I am completely indebted to God for all that I am and have.


Living intentionally or accidently


We are most vulnerable to shadow sides when living without a plan, without the discipline of knowing what our priorities are and living them out in a purposeful fashion. Careless living leads to careless lives and careless lives allow shadow sides to show up without our even being aware of it.


I have never met an individual of deep influence who lived carelessly. The very framework that helps them prevent the impact of their shadow side from becoming a liability is one of careful thought and intentional practice. Managing our shadow side in itself requires a plan that comes out of deep self knowledge.


Living with intimacy or distance with Christ


Our connection to Christ, when we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself to us and to peel back layers of our own lives to reveal sin, disobedience, elements of the lower nature and areas where He wants to work is a critical element in managing our shadow side. Certainly the closer we stay to Christ, the more receptive we are to His nudging in our lives. The further we are from Him the more of us we are relying on for our understanding and wisdom – a dangerous place to be.


As the writer of the book of Hebrews put it, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:2-13). To the extent that we allow the Scriptures to be a mirror against which we see our lives and the Holy Spirit to speak to us about our lives we will become sensitized to our shadow side and allow God to bring His character even to those difficult areas.

Ways to Minimize our Liabilities

Leaders who build healthy teams of highly competent individuals use those teams to help alleviate their own liabilities. Many of the issues we face have to do with personnel, relationships and complex problems. Even though I have a strong sense of direction and a great deal of experience in dealing with organizational issues, I know that council from a group of wise individuals is far better than dealing with the issue by myself where my own perspective can easily get in the way of the best solution.


I am convinced that the wisdom of others often prevents our liabilities and our limited perspective from compromising our decisions and responses. When faced with a difficult decision or situation, I never respond without significant dialogue with trusted colleagues whose wisdom and perspective I trust and they have prevented me from making stupid calls in any number of instances. There is simply too much at stake for me to make unilateral decisions in tough spots. And, it is often hard to separate out our own emotions and issues from what is best organizationally.


Bringing in trusted colleagues into tough decisions is also a check against any tendency to lead autocratically or to deal with problematic personnel in unfair or harsh ways. Even as the senior leader of the organization I lead, I have accountability in my leadership and decisions through the involvement of other senior leaders. In fact, I never make any major directional decision without the assent and council of my senior team. Again, this becomes a check against human tendencies to lead out of personal preferences, arrogance, pride or the limited perspective any one of us has by ourselves. It literally can save us from ourselves!


Another hedge against our shadow side getting us into trouble in tough decisions is to resist the temptation to respond quickly. Quick decisions often come out of emotion and emotion is often influenced more by our shadow side than wisdom or our strengths. Difficult decisions and difficult people often stir anxiety in us. The anxiety makes us feel as if we need to do something now, when in reality waiting, thinking and getting counsel is often far wiser. In addition, anxiety often causes us to react emotionally when what is needed is a wise, reasoned, non-emotional response. How many of us have sent an emotional email in the heat of the moment that we wish we had been able to recall?


Emotional responses to people and situations can be a significant opportunity for our shadow side to become a liability. In the heat of emotion we do and say things that are not filtered by wisdom and even if we have reason to be angry we contribute to the problem and lose the high ground of leadership.


Time is our ally in most difficult decisions. It gives us time to pray, to evaluate options, seek counsel and think more clearly. The temptation to act quickly is really a temptation to act out of emotion rather than out of wisdom. Emotion and wisdom are not always compatible in leadership. I have a practice that I will not act before I have agreement with a trusted colleague or colleagues that the time is right and the approach is wise. The knottier the problem, the longer I will usually wait unless there is an overwhelming reason to act quickly.

The wisdom of the Holy Spirit is critical to keeping our dark side from compromising our leadership. One of the reasons that time is an ally in hard decisions is that it gives us time to pray, to think, and to allow the Holy Spirit to give us a divine perspective that transcends human understanding. I am constantly amazed at how solutions come to mind as I think, pray, dialogue with colleagues and allow God the time and opportunity to give me perspective that is critical to doing the right thing and avoiding my own liabilities, human perspective or shadow side.


One of the traps that good leaders fall into is to start to believe that because they have had leadership success that they are always capable of making the right decisions. Our very success can lead to decisions that are unwise because we trust our own leadership instincts and choose not to seek council or take the time for prayer and evaluation. In fact, the more success we have as leaders the more cautious we ought to be not to believe our own press, to remain humble leaders who seek wise council and take the time for prayerful consideration. Success can lead either to greater leadership wisdom or to the dark side of hubris. We choose the path by how we lead.

Managing the Shadow Side

I remember as a child playing a game of trying to move fast enough to lose my shadow. It never worked. My shadow followed me no matter what I did. I could jump, dodge and weave and the shadow remained.



We all have a shadow side: it is the side of us that we try to ignore and don’t want to acknowledge. As a result, it often gets us into trouble with others and can severely compromise our influence if not destroy it altogether. Deep influence is, after all gained the hard way as we have already seen. Unfortunately it can easily be compromised or destroyed if we don’t practice the discipline of managing our shadow side. The stronger our strengths – the longer our shadow!

As Christian leaders we have an ideal us that we want to project to others – and believe about ourselves. We believe in spiritual transformation and desperately desire that transformation for our lives. We are often disciplined to a fault in our effort to become all that God wants us to become. But like my childhood game, we will never lose our shadow side until we finally meet Christ face to face. In the meantime, we need to understand ourselves deeply, know where the shadow side lies, manage it carefully and allow the Holy Spirit to deeply sensitive us to facets of our wiring and areas of personal temptation that make up our shadow side.


It is easy to spot the shadow side in others. They are those behaviors that disempower others, cause us frustration or anger and frankly the very things we wish we could talk to them about. Unfortunately for us they are not alone. Our issues may be different but each of us has a shadow side that regularly threatens to lessen our influence and detract from the impact God desires us to have.


Every strength we possess comes with a requisite downside – a liability. When we exercise our strengths we live in our sweet spot – if we are also managing the downside of those strengths.


One of my five signature strengths on Strengthfinders is that I am a “maximizer.” As a maximizer, I want to always maximize ministry opportunity and leave nothing on the table. This means that I will question why we do things the way we do them and always push for the most effective strategy to maximize results with the people, resources and opportunities we have. As an organizational leader, this is a great strength to have and it has had a positive impact on the methodology of our organization.


But there is a downside as well. As a maximizer I can easily become impatient with strategies that do addition rather than multiplication. It is not the impatience that is a bad thing – it can be a very good thing, but when my impatience causes me to be less diplomatic, respond harshly or in some way devalue others who don’t yet “get it,” the strength has gone to its shadow side. I am sure there are those who have viewed me over the years as insensitive and uncaring in situations where I did not adequately manage the shadow side of this otherwise great strength.

Knowing the shadow side of our strengths allows us to manage or compensate in ways that prevent the strength from becoming a liability. I have learned in the case of my maximizer strength to press more gently and dialogue more than preach to help others understand that we can move toward greater effectiveness if we think multiplication rather than addition. I have learned the hard way over the years that process and time are essential ingredients to moving people and organizations in a more effective direction. And, I have learned the necessity of simply being patient in situations where in the past I would have been far less patient.


I have a pastor friend who is the ultimate relationship guy. If he were to take Strengthsfinders, I am sure his number one strength would be “woo” which means he influences others by bringing them into his orbit with the force of his friendly demeanor. He also has a gift for talking – which most highly relational folks do. Everyone in the church loves him because he is so winsome, so encouraging, and everyone feels connected to him. There is no manipulation involved, it is who he is. Much of what he has accomplished as a leader in his church comes back to his winsome, relational style. It is a huge strength and I have watched it for years.


However, this great strength also has its liabilities – its shadow side. He has found over the years that he could “wing it” on many issues and just get by with his relational skill rather than doing his homework on critical issues. That works for a while but not forever, and staff and church leaders often feel that they have been shortchanged by a lack of discipline in decision making because my friend has learned to do it by the seat of his pants rather than through team. He simply uses the force of his personality to convince others that his way is the right way.


And he is hard to disagree with. He is the ultimate debater who can dominate any conversation and meeting – and usually does, leaving others feeling like they cannot win and their opinion is not important. Because he is so likable, he often gets away with it but it is not without cost. The cost is a feeling of being used, not being heard, and a sense of being devalued in the process. His team meetings are not about mutual dialogue but about him expounding. This has led to tension with his team and his board who feel that it is a one man show. At one point of tension, my friend almost lost his church because of the shadow side of his relational strength.

Every strength brings with it a liability, a shadow side that unless recognized, become sensitized to and managed will either compromise the strength, or can even turn the strength into a greater liability than the strength itself. The latter case is the ultimate irony about our strengths. Unchecked, our strengths can become the very means of our loss of influence and effectiveness. It is on those shoals that many brilliant men and woman have lost their influence!