Nine things I wish I had known as a young leader

 

I have done some reflection recently on things I wish I had known as a young leader. Here are some of the thoughts.

One: You can relax in the journey. Young leaders are out to take territory and can do so in an aggressive manner. However, important endeavors are rarely rushed endeavors and when we move too fast, we leave people behind. Jesus never seemed to be in a particular hurry - to the consternation of the disciples and others. Nor do we need to be.

Two: You don't need to have the answers. It's OK to say, "I don't know, what do you think?" Our job is not to have all the answers but it is to find the answers and that is usually with other people who think well. It is highly freeing not to need to be the answer person.

Three: It's OK if some folks don't like how you lead. Now it is always a good thing to listen as we might learn something. But, you won't be able to please everyone so stop trying. If as a leader, someone is not happy with you you are not leading.

Four: You will never meet everyone's expectations so don't try. Needing to meet all the expectations of those around us is a trap and it hurts our leadership because it dilutes our focus. Leaders need to focus and in doing so they say no to many options to say yes to the best options. Be gracious but don't fall into the expectation trap.

Five: Don't try to lead by yourself. The best thing I ever did was to find a partner that I could lead with who had skills I didn't have and then to build a team of leaders. When I tried to do it myself I wasn't very successful. With partners I was.

Six: Failure can be a blessing. When you try something and it doesn't work it isn't a ding against you. It means you are trying new things and willing to take risks. Innovation and risk are dancing partners and failure is simply a measure of a willingness to take a risk. Some of your risks will pay off handsomely.

Seven: Always be gracious. Ditch defensiveness and be gracious in as many situations as you can be. You may not agree and don't have to agree but being gracious saves a lot of relational heartaches. 

Eight: When you can, prioritize relationships over expediency. You are on a mission and the mission matters but don't sacrifice the relational component in the process. People matter. In fact, it is the people around you who can help you get important things done. 

Nine: Pay attention to your EQ. Emotional Intelligence and growing in our EQ is key to present and future success. Keep seeking to grow your EQ and have people around you who can give you real time feedback on things you don't see.

What I know about leadership today that I didn't know then

Learning to lead well is something that is learned the hard way over time. I took time recently to consider what I know today that I didn't know well enough as a young leader. It is a long list that simply says how little I knew about good leadership as a young leader. The raw stuff was there, but there was and is much to learn. If you fit that young leader category, these may be things to consider.

• Many issues are not as urgent as I think they are. Relax, and don't equate all issues to having the same urgency. 

• Flexibility is critical for good leadership. Most of life is not black and white, and compromise is critical in getting things done. 

• Necessary or desired changes do not need to take place immediately. As a leader, I can only move as fast as those I lead can follow. I need to be patient and sensitive in leading through change.

• I don't need to take differences personally. It is about the mission, not about me. Pushback and disagreements are healthy as long as we can come to healthy solutions.

• The key to everything is relationships. It pays to develop relationships even with those who disagree with me. Mutual respect and understanding come through relationships.

• Anxiety is wasted energy. Don't worry about things that one cannot control. The worst is unlikely to happen anyway.

• I can be wrong, and it does not hurt my leadership. Develop a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose attitude," and one gains freedom.

• Just be me. I cannot lead like anyone else. God made me who He made me, and I need to lead from who He made me to be. Learn to be comfortable in one's own skin.

• Don't die on anthills! It is painful and unnecessary. There are some hills to die on, but not very many. Be wary of which one you take your stand on.

• Don't judge motives. We usually don't know what they are, and almost always, when we attribute poor motives to others, we are wrong.

• Relationships are everything. Influence comes through relationships, so press into those hard with those one needs to work with, even if they seem to be detractors. 

• I should never measure myself against others. That is a false measurement. I should measure my own progress and whether I am better today than I was yesterday. 

• My own inner life must take precedence over all other things. The healthier I am emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, the better my leadership. The inner life always comes first.

• I don't need to change the world - and cannot. What God does want me to do is influence my small corner of the world.

• God is sovereign. When I carry around great anxiety and worry, I am trying to do His job. I can relax knowing that He is always ultimately in control.

• Not all things get fixed on this side of heaven. God is always sovereign, but He does not force people, and there are situations and people issues that I will not be able to fix.

• Humility is at the core of all good leadership. Arrogance and thinking more of myself than I should get me into trouble. We all overestimate our gifts and importance and underestimate our faults and shadow side.

• Emotional intelligence matters a lot. The more I grow my EQ, the better my relationships, leadership, and personal health.

• God died for the Bride and not the brand. God wants me to focus on His kingdom and not my particular evangelical brand. I should appreciate all of his players and not just a few.

• I don't need to compete but to be faithful. I am not in competition with others but rather called to be faithful to what He wants me to do. 

• It is OK that not everyone likes me. In fact, if everyone likes me, I am probably not leading well. Popularity is not the end goal of leadership.

• I am only good at a few things. It is how God created me (Ephesians 2:10) and is why I need others around me. Their gifts make up for my many deficits.

• I can never give enough credit away. As a leader, I give credit to the team and take responsibility for the failures. It is what leaders do.

• God can guard my reputation. This means I don't need to - even when people are obnoxious or hurtful.

• If I am threatened by others, that is my problem, not theirs. The question is, "why do they threaten me, and what does that say about my own inner health?" To the extent that I lack personal security, I must press into those EQ issues.

• Perceived failures are usually just opportunities for growth. What we define as a failure, God is simply using to grow us into who He wants us to be.

• God can superintend my ministry path. He knows where I will be most useful and influential. I don't need to seek success but be faithful to where He has called me.

• Position does not equal influence. I can have as much influence as He wants me to have from whatever position or platform God' gives.

• Success must be measured from His perspective rather than from the world's perspective. God does not measure success the way the world does. My job is to use the gifts and opportunities He puts in front of me for maximum Kingdom advantage. 

TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

tjaddington@gmail.com

Advice for young leaders

I love the energy, passion and creativity of young leaders. Helping young leaders grow and flourish is one of the most important things more mature believers can do. I want to leave a leadership bench behind me that is better than the one with me. That is success for current leaders.

As we work with young leaders there are some foundational leadership principles that we can help them understand. These go to their leadership EQ which is critical to their success.

Humility. Leaders are simply using gifts that God has given. They are given in trust to use on his behalf. Leaders are not more important than others, they simply have a different role than others and are called to be faithful to the role God has given. Leadership is not about us but about our faithfulness to the one who gave us the gifting to lead, the care of those entrusted to our leadership and the God given mission we have.

Self awareness. Understanding how we are wired, how we are perceived by others, what are strengths and weaknesses are is critical to good leadership. The more we can help young leaders become exegetes of themselves the better leaders they will be. This includes knowing where our sweet spot is and playing to our strengths as much as possible.

Dark sides. Every leader has a shadow side. Those who do not understand their shadow side and where they are vulnerable may easily become victims of their own sin or dysfunction. We ought to help young leaders understand their shadow side and encourage them to spend as much time dealing with the shadow side as they do their strengths. Those who don't deal with their vulnerabilities end up hurting themselves and others.

Honoring others. Great leaders honor other people and help them become all that they can be. Remember it is not about me but about us. My success is directly connected to the success that I help others achieve. Leaders are developers of others. They value healthy relationships, honest feedback and giving the praise to the team rather than taking the spotlight for themselves

Approachability. Young leaders need to learn how to separate their personal pride from their work. Feedback on their work is not an attack on their person, although many people see it that way. Developing a "nothing to prove, nothing to lose" is critical to healthy leadership. Unapproachable leaders cannot be healthy leaders. Remember, it is not about me, but about us and the mission God has given us.

Teachable. Leaders who are teachable grow and develop. Those who are not often run the risk of ending up as narcissists, concerned only about themselves and resistant to honest and needed feedback. This goes to humility and approachability. The most brilliant leaders who are not teachable or approachable will end up hurting others and the organization they lead.

Hearts toward God. In ministry, nothing matters more than having a heart that wants to please the One on whose behalf we exercise leadership. Maintaining hearts that are tender toward God, want to follow Him and hear from Him, please him and know Him is the most important leadership requirement of all.

If you are a young leader you may want to ask those around you how you are doing in these seven areas. If you are a mentor of young leaders, consider talking to those you mentor about the importance of these issues. They will make all the difference as to their future success.

And I need to remember as a mentor of others that these qualities are as much caught as they are taught. So, how I lead and live will impact how they lead and live.

What I wish I knew as a young ministry leader

Failure is OK and God has a way of redeeming it

I don’t need to be right

The expectations of others should not define me

Criticism should not be taken personally

I don’t need to prove my worth

My ministry is not what gives me value

Emotional Intelligence is critical to leadership

Anxiety is always wasted energy

You cannot defend your reputation but God can

God cares more about who I am than what I do

God does not solve all issues this side of heaven

Expect the greatest pain from fellow believers

God is always sovereign over our biographies

Three keys to people development

The development of staff is one of the most important responsibilities of leaders at all levels. That development involves three important skills.

Critical analysis
This is the ability to evaluate staff members and identify areas of strength, weakness, EQ (Emotional Intelligence) health and areas where EQ growth is needed. In addition, evaluation of how they interact with others, lead others, respond, do team, and ability to produce results are all important factors. Critical analysis is not about being critical. It is about the ability to objectively evaluate a staff member in order to appropriately coach them for personal and professional growth.

I find that many leaders in the ministry arena are not skilled at critical analysis of their staff. We tend to over emphasize strengths and under emphasize weaknesses - especially of our own staff. This may be Christian nice, it may be a sense of loyalty that causes us to gloss over necessary areas of growth or it may just be an underdeveloped skill. However, if we cannot do critical analysis of our staff we are unable to coach them for growth. Glossing over areas of needed growth is a disfavor to our staff.

Coaching for growth
Helping staff grow is one of the marks of a leader who serves his or her staff. It is also painfully absent in many organizations and teams. This coaching often comes in the form of an ongoing dialogue with a staff member based on our critical analysis. It is designed to help them maximize their God given potential and is a deeply intentional process to help a staff member grow.

Coaching for growth requires a level of courage to provide honest feedback where behaviors or responses are problematic. Supervisors who want to be best buddies with their staff will not go here and it is one of the downsides of a needy supervisor. But without honest feedback our staff members will not grow. This can be done diplomatically and with sensitivity but honest feedback is the only way any of us become aware of areas of necessary growth.

Positioning for effectiveness
Jim Collins popularized the term "the right seat on the bus." We often pay too little attention to the positioning of staff so that they are most effective. Often, a staff member who is struggling in one seat shines in another. Again, this is where critical analysis is so important because it is in understanding the unique wiring and strengths of a staff member that we are able to position them best for effective and fulfilling work.

While there are often things that we prefer not to do it does make sense to minimize the areas where staff are working from weakness rather from strength - if it is possible to do so. Staff should be working a minimum of 60% in areas of strength in order to be effective and the optimum is 80%. The right seat on the bus does matter - a lot.

Take time to ensure that your leaders and supervisors are able and committed to these three keys to people development. It is a great loss to leave potential on the table because we are not serving our staff in this area.

Emerging leaders

After spending several days with a bright group of emerging leaders in dialogue about the heart, leadership, strategies and spiritual transformation I am reminded of the significant responsibility that seasoned leaders have toward the next generation. If we don't pour into them who will?

Some of these were in missions, others in the local church, some in business. What characterized them was a hunger to learn, to explore, and to pick the brains of those of us who were presenting and dialoguing with them. I was personally challenged by their passion and commitment to Jesus - and their desire to lead well.

All of us have people in our circles who fit the description of emerging leaders, whether it be in the church, in other ministry contexts, in missions or in business. Our willingness to give ourselves away to them is the indicator of how much we value ensuring that the next generation is equipped and envisioned for the world they will inherit from us.

While leadership growth never stops, those of us who have led, who have paid dumb tax and learned lessons along the way, who have experienced failure and success, been humbled, and who  been forged in the midst of difficulties and challenges - have a lot to contribute to those who are emerging in the next generation of leaders. They will lead differently but their leadership can be deeply informed by others who will pour into them.

This is a 2 Timothy 2:2 issue: Multiplying ourselves so that the cause of Jesus is multiplied in our world. What are you doing to see that happen in your circle? Remember, life is not about us but what we leave behind us.

The quiet ministry of calling out the best in others

A question to ponder. Who saw potential in you and called it out of you? Who encouraged you in your growth and quietly mentored you? Whoever it was left a legacy not only in you but in all the people you have touched. 


Those who encourage and develop others are special people. Theirs is a ministry behind the scenes that gets little press but which has huge reward. It is a ministry that is other centered rather than self centered. And, it is a ministry that every one of us can have.


The story of the early church was easily dominated by one great figure - the Apostle Paul. As a theologian he defined much of its theology, as an apostle he planted key churches and as a developer of people he trained up the generation that would go after him. 


Think about this, however. Behind this giant was a quiet, unassuming gentleman by the name of Barnabas who took Paul under his wing when everyone else was afraid of him. It was Barnabas who taught Paul in the early days. It was Barnabas who introduced him to the other apostles and the church. It was Barnabas who encouraged and walked alongside Paul when others did not.


So who is more important in the story of the early church: Barnabas or Paul?


Barnabas saw potential in Paul when others did not. As he did with John Mark when Paul did not. I would suggest that Barnabas had a high level of spiritual discernment along with the patience and desire to develop others. His was not a flashy ministry but a ministry in the shadows that lifted others up. 


The development of others is a a humble ministry. It often goes unseen and unacknowledged - except by God. It's legacy is in the impact of those they encourage, develop and lift up. Those who see potential where others don't are like prospectors who know the vein of gold is somewhere beneath them. They have the heart of God who sees the potential in each one of us. And they have the patience to draw it out.


Few of us will be earth changing leaders. All of us can be life changing people who have the heart of Barnabas and who call out the best in others. 

Eleven things your younger leaders need to learn

Those of us who lead at any level are responsible for raising up the next generation of leaders behind us. Frequently we focus on leadership skills. Just as important, if not more, however is the development of the inner life of a leader from which their leadership will emerge.

I would like to suggest that there are eleven practices or disciplines that all leaders must have in order to be effective. If we can help the next generation leaders understand and live out these practices they will be well served. If they don't get these things they will not lead well.

1. The inner life of a leader will determine how good a leader they become. They can have all the skill in the world but if the inner life is not rock solid and continuously paid attention to they will not succeed as a spiritual leader. The hidden discipline of developing the inner life always comes before the public role of leadership.
2. Personal humility is a non-negotiable for good leadership. True humility is clear about what strengths we have as well as our weaknesses and therefore our need for others. Humility serves others while pride serves self. Because spiritual leadership is other focused and Jesus centered it must come from a place of personal humility.
3. Suffering and pain is a major way that God molds great leaders. It is when we are challenged that we grow and the test of a spiritual leader is whether they grow in their faith during hard times or move away from God in disillusionment. There is no way to effective leadership without the molding and forging of hard times. If you are going to lead, expect it and make the most of it.
4. Leaders actively embrace spiritual transformation. God can only use people to bring others closer to Him who are themselves allowing God to transform them. Transformation of their hearts to understand and live out grace. Transformation of their minds to think like Jesus thinks. Transformation of life priorities to align our lives with His and transformation of our relationships to see people as Jesus sees them and love people as Jesus loves them.
5. Our shadow side must be managed. All of us have a shadow side. It is the opposite of our strengths and it is those areas where we struggle with sin or negatively impact others. We cannot eliminate our shadow side but we can manage it by understanding it and modifying our behaviors so that they don't hurt others. Leaders who don't manage their shadow side will never lead well.
6. Emotional intelligence matters and needs to be developed. Healthy EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is one of the most important traits of a leader. It allows them to understand how they are perceived by others, to differ with others while staying relationally connected, hear feedback without defensiveness and negotiate conflict in a healthy manner. Poor EQ is the number one reason that leaders fail.
7. I can only lead from who God made me to be. God can use any personality style to lead and we will never be successful emulating someone else's leadership style. We can learn from others but we can only lead out of our own God given wiring. We must develop a leadership style that is consistent with our personality and wiring rather than emulate others.
8. Leaders live intentional lives. Accidental living does not make for a good leader because it is a life of reaction rather than a proactive life of considered intentionality. Leaders live intentionally so that they accomplish what God wants them to accomplish personally and with others. There is a discipline to a good leader's life that is based on the important things rather than the ancillary things.
9. Leaders are clear about what matters. There are many things that vie for our attention personally and organizationally. Leaders are able to identify what is truly important and not be distracted by the unimportant. They are clear themselves and help those they lead become clear. Clarity of life and mission are marks of a good leader.
10. Leaders live with transparency. The more transparent a leader is about both success and failure with others the more they are followed, respected and lead from authenticity. Authentic lives, where words match action, where we don't pretend to be something we are not and are open about our strengths and weaknesses, failures and accomplishments allows others to see the real us and to lead from a place of authenticity rather than from a place of pretense. 
11. Leaders guard their hearts. Everything in Christian leadership comes down to the heart. When leaders don't guard their hearts (King Saul) they lose their ability to lead. When they do (David) they lead from a place of health and strength. The Psalms say that David led from integrity of heart and skillful hands. Above all else, leaders guard their hearts on a moment by moment and daily basis.

Second half influence

For those who care about influence for the gospel, life is divided into two parts. Our own influence through our life and work and in the second half of life, our intentional mentoring of the next generation of influencers who will carry the baton to the next generation. It is Paul and Timothy and 2 Timothy 2:2. 


A wonderful example is John R W Stott whose world wide influence in my parents generation is tough to beat. Yet for many years prior to his death his primary focus was that of raising up the next generation of Christian leaders. He intentionally multiplied himself by giving himself away and focused less on his personal impact on society and more on the impact that the next generation would make. In doing so his legacy and influence live on in a powerful way. 


This requires a Kingdom heart that is focused not on one's own accolades but on empowering others who will will multiply one's Kingdom influence. It is about the Kingdom, not us. It is about leaving a living legacy in the lives we have influenced who will carry on our work when we are gone. I suspect that there will be many behind the scenes who will receive greater rewards in heaven than many big names whose focus was on their own ministry and legacy rather than on leaving a living legacy through others. 


This applies to wives who mentor the next generation of wives, husbands who mentor and raise up the next generation of Godly husbands, Christian leaders who invest themselves in the next generation of leaders ... anyone who is investing their lives in passing the baton to others who may actually have far more influence than we ever did. 


For Christian leaders, I am convinced that their success is best measured not by what happened while they were in leadership but by what happens when they are gone! Was there stewardship of the ministry about them or the ministry? If the latter they invested significant time and effort into the lives of the next generation of leaders. If the former, they often did not. 


If you are post fifty, who are you investing in? Who are you raising up to take your place behind you? That investment may well be your greatest influence and legacy as you multiply yourself in the lives of others. It is a quiet, behind the scenes work that will seldom be seen but its impact can be profound. It is in giving ourselves away that we have our greatest impact.

What are you doing to intentionally raise up the next generation of leaders?

Every church, every mission, every ministry is one leadership generation (and that is not a long time) away from decline if we are not deeply intentional about raising up the generation who come behind us. In fact, I believe that our leadership stewardship is not primarily about what happens when we are in leadership, but when we are gone and the long term fruit of our work is either evident or not. And that means that we have paid attention to the sucession to the next generation of leaders in our ministry.

For church boards this often means taking the risk (in the eyes of current board members) to mentor and bring on young leaders who think differently and come with a different perspective than older leaders. And, making them welcome at the leadership table.

For churches with long term pastors who are now in their late fifties or early sixties, it may mean bringing on the next senior pastor and making a transition over a period of years so that the pastoral transition is planned and smooth. The larger the congregation the more helpful this is. It is a change in paradigm from simply waiting until the present senior pastor retires and then hiring someone completely new to the church. That obviously takes a selfless and unthreatened current senior pastor who is willing to share leadership for a period of time and then transition to the new leader as he transitions to either retirement or a different position in the church.

The issue of next generation leadership is particularly critical in mission organizations where my observation is that there is an aging leadership group and where leadership is often given to those who have long experience regardless of whether they have leadership skills or not. Mission organizations today are in a vulnerable position as the world is changing rapidly around them and unless they also change many current missions are going to find themselves in serious decline. I was surprised recently when one large and well known mission replaced its retiring CEO with an individual who was almost his age - as if it needed to guard the status quo rather than embrace the future.

Raising up the next generation of leaders in ministry does not happen without a passion to pass the torch well, to see the ministries we lead flourish and do even better when we are gone and a plan to bring new, younger leaders into key positions with the requisite mentoring and training to help them succeed. Any current leader over fifty ought to be thinking succession even as they continue to lead. Boards of ministries ought to be talking about this issue as well on an ongoing basis as they are stewards of the ministry.

This does not apply only to senior leaders but the the leadership bench throughout an organization. I know, for instance, a new senior pastor of a large church who inherited almost an entire staff of fifty five plus pastors who are locked into two decade old ministry paradigms. He must go through the painful process of bringing on a whole new set of leaders because the board and past senior pastor did not address the issue of leadership succession, or even keep their current staff growing and changing as the ministry grew.

The question for leaders is three fold: What are we doing to raise up the next generation of leaders througout the organization?; Who will replace us? and what are we doing to keep our current leadership staff on the cutting edge and not allowing them to coast toward retirement?

Develop, Empower and Release

As ministry leaders we love to release people into ministry and we should – that is the heart of Ephesians 4:12. The question comes as to how and when we do this in ways that are helpful to others and not harmful. I believe that the answer can be found in the concept of Develop, Empower and Release.

But first, There are some common mistakes made by those who lead others in terms of their training and releasing. Let me suggest three:

• Just releasing people to do their thing in the name of empowerment. While empowerment is wonderful, empowerment without training, development and coaching is to set up people to fail – and to hurt the church or organization they serve with.

• Never releasing people under the guise of “they are not ready.” In this scenario, we never really release because they don’t have the same training as we do or would not be as effective as we think we are.

• Development in the form of academic training only. Here we think of training of more theology (not bad), leadership theory (not bad) but short on hands on ministry experience.

All three of these errors contribute to disappointing results with those we are raising up and releasing in ministry. I believe there is another way: that of developing, empowering and releasing others. This was the pattern of Christ and of Paul and it is one that we could learn again from today.

Development is about helping others understand how they are wired and gifted, spending quality time with them in ministry, dialoguing and sharing our lives in a serious way. It includes modeling ministry, modeling the life of a disciple, training and mentoring in the things of God and the life of a believer. This is best done in relationship or in community where discussion and dialogue are possible (think of Christ with his disciples) and where they are challenged to follow God seriously and invest their lives in ministry. Even in this stage we are inviting people to use their gifts but in an informal way in their homes, neighborhoods and circles of influence. 

Empowerment only comes after development has been part of the picture. Empowerment is inviting people into ministry under our direction or coaching in ways that are appropriate to their readiness and gifting. It comes when we believe someone is ready to put some of their training into practice. This was Paul when he asked Timothy to take on certain assignments. It was Jesus when he sent out his disciples to heal and proclaim the good news and come back and report. It is ministry opportunity with a leash of coaching and accountability.

Empowerment is not just throwing people out on their own: it is inviting them into ministry in line with their level of maturity, under the coaching or authority of others. It is on the job training with feedback, coaching and ongoing development. Development and empowerment are not two separate phases as the development continues as we empower people to try their wings in ministry.

While developing is the first step, developing and empowering are tandem activities where increasing ministry responsibility is given as our mentee grows and develops. This was Paul’s strategy with Timothy. First Timothy traveled with him, then he started to give Timothy ministry assignments under his authority and as Timothy grew so did those assignments. If one short changes this dance of development and empowerment we run a significant risk of a ministry crash once on their own.  

Releasing is acknowledging at some point that people no longer need us in a direct way and are ready to be released out on their own. Paul developed and empowered Timothy for a number of years but the time came when he released Timothy to pastor and stood in the background to encourage him. Jesus released the disciples on his resurrection and ascension. Paul spent several years at Ephesus planting a church and training leaders and then released them to fly on their own. 

It can be hard to release because we are so vested in the development of others but at the right time it is time to let go, stand in the background, pray and encourage. It is like a parent who lets their eighteen year old fly on his or her own. They will make mistakes (as we did), they will pay dumb tax (as we did), they will face huge discouragements (as we did) and they will grow in their ministry (as we did). If we have developed and empowered, they will be ready to move forward. All the while, like Paul with Timothy or Christ through His Holy Spirit with the disciples we stand behind them cheering them on, encouraging them and providing counsel or insight as needed.

In our developing of people we will fail if we don’t pay attention to all three of these pieces of the development of individuals to the place where they can fly on their own – with a high probability of success.

One last note: For those who want to leave a legacy, the developing, empowering and releasing of people into ministry is the key. It is the 2 Timothy 2:2 principle.

Leaders in the raw

As an organizational leader I am constantly on the lookout for other potential leaders because I know that good leadership is the key to releasing a great staff. Poor leaders disempower staff while good leaders release them and make their work a joy. Sometimes, these potential leaders are young and raw (we all were at one time) but there are still some powerful markers that indicate they have the stuff to make a good leader if mentored and coached.

The challenge is that "leaders in the raw," are just that - raw! They can look arrogant to others, impetuous at times, don't finesse their language or analysis, challenge the status quo, ask a lot of questions and can be somewhat obnoxious. That is when I perk up and think, "Maybe I have a young raw leader here." Here are some of the things I look for.

• Self starters who figure out where they need to go and simply do it. 
• Those who go and find resources and people who can help them get a task done. 
• Individuals who don't complain about barriers but simply find a way to go around, over or under those barriers to achieve their goal. Rather than ask permission, they will often ask forgiveness if they run into trouble. 
• Individuals who others seem to listen to and instinctively follow. 
• Those who ask good and probing questions and display a high level of inquisitiveness. 
• Individuals who regularly challenge the status quo and ask the irritating why questions.

Young, raw, inexperienced individuals who have leadership potential or wiring can often be brash, irritating and come off as arrogant. Rather than write them off as such, realize that what you may well have is a leader in the raw who is not content with the status quo. The very things that irritate you about them may well be that leadership wiring stirring in them that if channeled and mentored could result in future leadership.

It is not unusual for leaders in the raw to even clash with those who lead them precipitating some necessary "come to Jesus meetings." It is, frankly, the very fact that they are flexing their leadership wiring (even if in an undisciplined way) that causes some disruption. I did that plenty of times as a young, raw leader. Rather than simply writing them off - start a dialogue to see if what you have is a leader in the raw rather than simply an obnoxious individual. They may be future leaders in your organization! If they have that potential, start meeting with them to help them hone their skills, temper their words and impatience and coach them toward productive leadership roles.

Motivating Young Staff

There is no doubt that there are differences in the work ethics between generations. My father's generation had a work ethic informed by the great depression. 

My generation watched our parents and said, "we want more time to be with family and enjoy life." At the same time, we work hard, keep the rules (well I am bad at that) and do what it takes to get the task done.

My sons generation, twenty somethings, well they are complicated when it comes to work: schedules (I have to come at a certain time?), dress codes (what are those?), work (lets have fun while we're at it), feedback (you are actually going to criticize me?). As I say, it is complicated and books have been written on how to manage the twenty something generation.

At the same time, I have rarely seen a more committed, harder working, team oriented and creative group than the twenty something generation IF they have a cause worth giving their lives to. Given a clear focus, a cause worth giving one's life to and these folks will work all night, put in amazing hours and deliver the best.

The problem for many organizations is that they don't have a clear cause that motivates them. For this generation, small or no cause equals boredom and therefore diminished attention and they will find their cause outside of work.

They also want empowerment to test new ideas and be creative. Put them in a box of micromanagement or "this is the only way" and you have lost them. Give them some freedom and empowerment and you will win them. If you take it one step further and bring them to the table and allow them to participate in strategy and direction - giving them a voice, you get their loyalty!

Missional ministries who are focused, passionate and empowered will find that this generation will infuse it with amazing creativity and energy. Institutional ministries who major on organization to the detriment of mission and passion will not motivate this generation. They actually have something to teach the rest of us!  Missional focus and a cause worth giving one's life to matters.  

Who are you investing in?

Generous living is not only about money and possessions. Generous leaders are leaders who regularly mentor and develop other leaders – especially the next generation who will be taking our place.

I think back to my early years in the pastorate where I walked through some very deep waters. I wish that there had been an older leader who would have come alongside to provide encouragement and council. It was lonely! One of my great privileges is to come alongside some of the next generation of pastors and leaders as they walk through similar challenges. This is exactly what the Apostle Paul did with Timothy and Titus as Barnabas had done for him.

We often think of legacy as what we will accomplish in this life. I think that is only one piece of the equation. I can multiply my influence and legacy by faithfully building into others, sharing lessons learned, providing perspective and hopefully helping others not to pay the dumb tax I paid along the way. Our greatest impact will not usually be what we did but the people we invested in who carried the torch further and deeper than we ever could.

The catch is that this investment in others will usually never be publicly seen. It is a quiet, behind the scenes ministry but for those who are motivated by maximizing their influence for Christ it hugely multiplies that influence. Those looking for accolades won't find it here. Those who build into others out of a humble spirit will find much joy in equipping others. 

All of us can come alongside others to encourage and provide perspective and council. I really believe that once we hit fifty (yes I have done that) one of our highest priorities is to come alongside the next generation of leaders and help them become all they can be. It is no longer about us (actually never was) but about those who are coming behind us. It is an opportunity to generously give away what we have learned and to equip the next generation to take leadership and kingdom impact to a higher level than we did or could. It is one of the best investments we can ever make.

Thought Leaders

Every organization needs one or more individuals who are thought leaders in the areas which the organization works. Thought leaders are different from other competent leaders on the team in that they are able to see further, think differently and deeper than others. They continually challenge the status quo, are always thinking ministry strategy and architecture and looking for game changers that don’t tweak the present but change the whole nature of the equation.

The Apple Corporation is an example of a business with a significant bench of thought leaders. The result is not simply new technology but different technology that has changed the way we view and use our electronic gadgets. The IPad, for instance will no doubt replace many still bulky and heavy laptops for a wide variety of travelers. Not only is it cool but it changes the equation for many who don’t want to lug their computers around.

Thought leaders have some common characteristics. First they question everything rather than simply accepting the status quo. They see “common wisdom” as common but not necessarily wisdom and are contrarian in their thinking – asking why we do what we do the way we do it and whether there is a different way. Rather than looking to tweak systems they are more likely to look for game changing opportunities where radical shifts bring significant ministry leverage. Video venues, for instance, were used by a handful of ministries who went against conventional wisdom that preaching had to be in person and that innovation has changed the game for numerous ministries who are now reaching far more people and offering more worship venue options.

Thought leaders can be found at many different levels of a ministry and wise leaders are always on the lookout for those whose insight is regularly challenging the status quo. They then find venues for dialogue with these good thinkers in order to maximize the effectiveness of the ministry. One of the mistakes many older leaders make is not to listen to the thought leaders of the young generation among them who may not have the positional status of older leaders but who are on the cutting edge of what needs to happen in the future. In my experience, many of the key thought leaders of today are in their twenties and thirties and are the voices that are going to mold ministry in the next generation. To ignore them is particularly dangerous as thought leaders by definition need ways to exercise their mental creativity and will move out of organizations where that is not valued or possible.

Can you identify the thought leaders in your organization? Do they have venues to speak into your strategy and paradigms? Do you as a leader have ways to interact with them and benefit from their creativity?

The Magic of Questions

Many of us are great at telling others what we think and sharing our opinions or telling others what they should think or do. Fewer of us are great at asking questions which draw others out, show our interest in them or create dialogue around issues that allow us to understand others or get to common understanding. For those who develop this skill, there is a special magic in the way others respond to them.



One of my sons is currently looking for a job and a good friend has been coaching him on interviews. The first thing he taught Jon to do was to look around the office of the one doing the interview and notice everything that was there because every book, magazine, picture or memento tells a story about the individual. And then he suggested Jon comment on those items and ask appropriate questions to draw out the interviewer.


Why? Because relational connection is everything in an interview. Actually, relational connection is everything in all of our interactions and learning how to be naturally curious and ask good questions goes a long way in making that connection.


“Tell me about….” questions allow you to ask about situations, decisions or thinking of another person. It sparks a narrative or story which provides context and understanding about a specific issue. It is an open ended question that allows the narrator to take it where they desire and allows for one to follow up to clarify.


“How did you…..” questions are wonderful questions if you want to understand how someone is wired because it is really asking how one went about tackling a specific issue or dealing with a specific problem. All of us go after issues differently so “how” questions help you understand how they are wired.


“Tell me why….” questions allow you to probe why someone chose a certain course of action and if asked well does not indicate rightness or wrongness but simply why they chose that course. If the course of action was problematic one can follow up. Often, one will understand the rationale that they did not understand before for a course of action.


“What are you learning these days about….” allows one to probe on any number of subjects and often reveals the cutting edge issues that people are grappling with opening up a wonderful dialogue on the subject.


The magic of questions is that it creates relationship, gives great insight into the thinking and styles of others and most importantly gives honor to the one to whom we ask the questions. The more questions we ask, the more we honor others and the more we understand.

Ways to Minimize our Liabilities

Leaders who build healthy teams of highly competent individuals use those teams to help alleviate their own liabilities. Many of the issues we face have to do with personnel, relationships and complex problems. Even though I have a strong sense of direction and a great deal of experience in dealing with organizational issues, I know that council from a group of wise individuals is far better than dealing with the issue by myself where my own perspective can easily get in the way of the best solution.


I am convinced that the wisdom of others often prevents our liabilities and our limited perspective from compromising our decisions and responses. When faced with a difficult decision or situation, I never respond without significant dialogue with trusted colleagues whose wisdom and perspective I trust and they have prevented me from making stupid calls in any number of instances. There is simply too much at stake for me to make unilateral decisions in tough spots. And, it is often hard to separate out our own emotions and issues from what is best organizationally.


Bringing in trusted colleagues into tough decisions is also a check against any tendency to lead autocratically or to deal with problematic personnel in unfair or harsh ways. Even as the senior leader of the organization I lead, I have accountability in my leadership and decisions through the involvement of other senior leaders. In fact, I never make any major directional decision without the assent and council of my senior team. Again, this becomes a check against human tendencies to lead out of personal preferences, arrogance, pride or the limited perspective any one of us has by ourselves. It literally can save us from ourselves!


Another hedge against our shadow side getting us into trouble in tough decisions is to resist the temptation to respond quickly. Quick decisions often come out of emotion and emotion is often influenced more by our shadow side than wisdom or our strengths. Difficult decisions and difficult people often stir anxiety in us. The anxiety makes us feel as if we need to do something now, when in reality waiting, thinking and getting counsel is often far wiser. In addition, anxiety often causes us to react emotionally when what is needed is a wise, reasoned, non-emotional response. How many of us have sent an emotional email in the heat of the moment that we wish we had been able to recall?


Emotional responses to people and situations can be a significant opportunity for our shadow side to become a liability. In the heat of emotion we do and say things that are not filtered by wisdom and even if we have reason to be angry we contribute to the problem and lose the high ground of leadership.


Time is our ally in most difficult decisions. It gives us time to pray, to evaluate options, seek counsel and think more clearly. The temptation to act quickly is really a temptation to act out of emotion rather than out of wisdom. Emotion and wisdom are not always compatible in leadership. I have a practice that I will not act before I have agreement with a trusted colleague or colleagues that the time is right and the approach is wise. The knottier the problem, the longer I will usually wait unless there is an overwhelming reason to act quickly.

The wisdom of the Holy Spirit is critical to keeping our dark side from compromising our leadership. One of the reasons that time is an ally in hard decisions is that it gives us time to pray, to think, and to allow the Holy Spirit to give us a divine perspective that transcends human understanding. I am constantly amazed at how solutions come to mind as I think, pray, dialogue with colleagues and allow God the time and opportunity to give me perspective that is critical to doing the right thing and avoiding my own liabilities, human perspective or shadow side.


One of the traps that good leaders fall into is to start to believe that because they have had leadership success that they are always capable of making the right decisions. Our very success can lead to decisions that are unwise because we trust our own leadership instincts and choose not to seek council or take the time for prayer and evaluation. In fact, the more success we have as leaders the more cautious we ought to be not to believe our own press, to remain humble leaders who seek wise council and take the time for prayerful consideration. Success can lead either to greater leadership wisdom or to the dark side of hubris. We choose the path by how we lead.

Lessons Learned in Mentoring Young Leaders

Mentoring young leaders is a passion of mine. At fifty three, the more young leaders I can help grow, the more ripples I can make - and keep on making after I have left the leadership stage. I believe that mentoring is a stewardship responsibility of all leaders and it is one of the most unselfish investments we can make.

Mentoring young leaders is all about taking people with significant potential and helping expedite their growth through your sponsorship, attention and leadership example. A proven leader can open critical doors of opportunity, understanding and growth to a young leader which can dramatically accelerate the leadership trajectory of young leaders.

I recently reflected on some of the lessons I have learned in this process:

Look for potential not experience. Almost all job applications have an experience clause. Sometimes that is what you need. But often, what you really want is the "right stuff" in potential that can be shaped and grown. It is a thrill to hire someone who is "too young" by others standards and watch them flourish.

Look for good EQ. Good emotional intelligence is critical for a mentee because there will be plenty of opportunities when they will need to receive honest feedback on their performance. Poor EQ - defensiveness, inability to accept honest feedback, poor relational skills - will prevent them from growing like the should. Get good EQ, combined with potential and you have a powerful combination.

Help them understand their wiring and strengths. Mentoring is not about growing another "you" but about helping a young leader understand how God designed them, how they are wired and where their strengths lie - and don't lie. Young people often don't have the life experience to figure that out well but a good mentor can dramatically speed up the process by helping them discover their strengths.

Dialogue a lot. Mentor's use Socratic dialogue to help those they mentor think through issues, solve problems, discover solutions and evaluate performance. By its very nature, mentoring takes time and only those who are willing to make the investment will make good mentors. People learn the best when they are challenged to think critically and evaluate well so mentors think out loud with their mentees on a regular basis.

Ask lots of questions. The more questions one asks, the more you will help your young leader think and evaluate. Engage their perspective on people, situations, problems and solutions. Don't tell, ask - and then dialogue.

Give honest feedback. Good mentors give feedback but they do it in appropriate ways and appropriate settings. No, the Trump method "You're Fired," does not fit that paradigm! Mentors never embarrass by calling out a failure or misstep in public. They do it behind closed doors and in a way that causes growth, not discouragement (again, good EQ is very helpful).

Allow young leaders to figure it out and even fail. We learn more from our failures than our successes so allowing young leaders to figure out how do get something done (consistent with their strengths) and even to get it wrong on occasion is a powerful growth strategy. We practice "autopsy without blame" after a failure. We want to know why it happened and what went wrong and why but it is not about blame, but about learning.

Give assignments that stretch. Often, young leaders do not see in themselves what others see in them. Giving assignments that are out of their comfort zone - but within their ability helps them test their skills and critical thinking. Again, Socratic dialogue along the way is helpful, but not solving the problems they encounter.

Keep their plate full. Bright young leaders get bored quickly. Keep their plate full so that they continue to grow and stretch and increase their capacity. If they are really good - do whatever it takes to keep them engaged with you so that they don't look for greener pastures elsewhere.

Let them shadow you. Young leaders need models of what good leadership looks like. Because mentors are all about developing others, find ways to expose them to your world even if it is not in their job description. Exposure to meetings, problems, problem solving and other key people will give them context that they would not otherwise have and exposure that helps them leverage growth.

Ensure a relationship of high trust. Mentors often share information with a young leader they would not share with others - precisely because by introducing them to one's world and the real challenges one faces, young leaders learn how to deal with real life situations. This means, however that young leaders must be trustworthy (EQ again) to keep information that is private private and the maturity to handle sometimes difficult information. Clear guidelines should be discussed up front and reminders made along the way regarding confidential information.

Be tansparent. Sharing one's life honestly is an important element in growing leaders. Understanding how to balance life, deal with life when it comes undone and persevering in Godly character is the inner core that will sustain young leaders over the long haul. Wherever appropriate, be transparent so that they are challenged by your heart and character as well as your leadership expertise.

Mentoring is a challenge and a great privilege. And it allows you to expand your influence far beyond what you could ever do yourself.

Advice for young leaders

Contributing Writer: Lindsay NormanI often find that young leaders are enthusiastic to be mentored and to learn. There are books and materials for individuals already in leadership roles, but significantly less material that covers how young leaders can grow to their potential. Here is what I have found helpful as I intentionally walk the road to develop my full capacity.

Get a Mentor

Only after having a few mentors in my life can I look back and say this has been, and continues to be, one of the most pivotal elements to growing as a leader. I had mentors in leadership roles who recognized I was a leader years before I did. Feedback I received from one of my mentors was, “Lindsay, you need to be in a role where you are standing on your tip toes every day. Be in a role that is just out of reach the majority of the time so that you are challenged.”

Mentors listen, love and speak into your life. The best part about them is that the relationship is judgment free. The purpose of mentoring is to come along side and be a life coach. The assumption is already there that the “mentee” is learning and growing. It is assumed there will be bumps along the way to growth. That removes the judgment factor. It’s assumed we will mess up! The mentor is there, not to prevent you from messing up, but to help process through why and help you look to the future.

Consider yourself a learner

Every leader goes through an extraordinary amount of learning. Learning about the organization, about other leaders, former leaders, and most importantly, learning about yourself are all critical pieces to development. It is difficult to made effective decisions as a leader if you don’t understand the ethos, mission and vision of the organization.

It is equally difficult to lead well if you don’t understand how the other leaders lead. For the sake of optimal effectiveness as a young leader, I don’t want to be making decisions regarding circumstances that are the responsibility of other leaders.

Finally, and I believe most importantly, a potential leader must learn about themselves. As an upcoming leader, the question must be asked, “How am I wired? Where are my strengths? What am I passionate and really good at? What energizes me?”

This can be done through self-knowledge tools like executive testing or other tools like Myers-Briggs, Gallops StrengthsFinders, or the Firo-B. This can also be done by engaging with a life or work mentor/coach who you trust and who knows you well. There is a great deal of resources on the Internet and in books stores that are available today to help us learn about ourselves.

Learn from Mistakes

It is nice when others make the mistakes before we do, isn’t it? As a potential leader, it is critical to learn from the “dumb tax” others have paid. Believe me, you’ll pay your own dumb tax, you don’t need to pay the same tax as others. As you see mistakes or learn from others past mistakes, ask yourself these questions, “Why did that happen? What were the circumstances? What were the decisions that led up to that mistakes? Who was involved? How can I learn from that mistake?”

As a potential leader, look at the mistake from every angle. Critically think through the situation. And most importantly, don’t judge! You will have your opportunity to make your own mistakes! Mistakes are good. The shape, mold, and sharpen us in our thinking, strategies and leadership. Mistakes by ourselves or others should not be dismissed before a thorough autopsy has taken place. The more learning that takes place early in your leadership development, the more effectively you can navigate leadership in the future.

Take Risks

At some point, the bird knocks the baby out of the nest! Why? Because they need to grow, mature and face the realities of the world. As a leader, in order for us to develop, we need to begin making decisions.

I would recommend making decisions after having organizational context (don’t jump into a leadership role and start making decisions with gaining context and playing the role of “learner”) and touching base with a mentor or supervisor. I don’t touch base with a supervisor because I want them to make the decision for me. I touch base with my supervisor or mentor/coach because I want to process my plan of action and decision-making with them.

By doing this, it allows them to speak into any other aspects I haven’t thought of. It allows me to practice decision-making before the decision actually gets made. After doing this a number of times, a potential leader should be learning about all the factors necessary for a good decision. Eventually, independent decisions can be made. This process also builds the trust of your supervisor that your judgment can be trusted.

Growth can’t be done without taking risks. Good mentor/coaches will also encourage you to take risks. How do you learn unless you try?

Ask Questions

As a potential leader, I don’t have all the answers. Yes, you heard me correctly. I can draw on my own experience and on my knowledge of the organization, but that only gets me so far.

Questions need to be asked for the purpose of further understanding and for information to make good decisions. Again, having a good mentor/coach or a supervisor who is intentional about your leadership growth is critical so you can ask questions without judgment.

Knowing where and when to ask question is equally important. If I am in a meeting with all organizational leaders and I am finding that I don’t understand something, I often make a note to myself and ask someone at a break, especially if it is evident that all others in the room are following the conversation. On the other hand, if I am “picking up” that others may have questions like I do, I will ask. If you want to grow as a leader, listening and asking questions is important.

EQ – So Important!

Where do I communicate skepticism about a process, policy or decision that has been made? When do I ask tough questions about other leaders or the organization as a whole? What is my role in the organization? Where do I vent? When and how do I support decisions even if I don’t fully agree with them?

Knowing how to answer and navigate these questions is a direct reflection on your emotional intelligence (EQ). As an up and coming leader, observing, listening, asking questions, and dedicating yourself to learning should help you get a feel for how to answer these questions. Many times, these questions should be directed toward your mentor/coach who can help you navigate the situation.

If you are going to create trust with other leaders and coworkers, how you navigate these questions is critical. The answers will differ depending on the organization or ministry you serve in, the communication process in place, the leaders within that organization, and the trust that is built into that organization or ministry. It is difficult to verbally ask some of these questions to others if you are not trusted or if you do not trust the leadership. More importantly than knowing when to ask these questions is knowing WHEN NOT to ask these questions.