Every congregation is one leadership board away from trouble and decline

I am grieving for another pastor who is leaving his church because of pain inflicted by some members of the congregation and an unhealthy board.

Like so many church boards there is deep dysfunction on this one. It is a passive board that does not lead but simply reacts.  Members feel free to come and air their complaints and criticisms against the pastor leaving him bruised and beaten up - often without even knowing the facts. Meetings that should be confidential are not always confidential. It has no ability to hold board members accountable. Staff feel free to go around their senior pastor directly to board members and some board members have developed alliances with members of the staff that are counterproductive. All of this with a church that has already been in serious decline and trouble for some years.


Pastors can take a lot of hits if they know their board is behind them. But when they don't have a unified and healthy board, they are left vulnerable and unprotected. I have been in that situation and many other pastors have as well.

This is not a renegade pastor. He is well trained, a good expositor and wise (despite his young age) but he has been sabotaged  by a board that does not have its act together, is divided, and cannot chart a common course either for the church or for its support of the pastor that they called just a few years ago.

Divided boards create a divided congregation and that is just what has happened in this situation. Time after time, this board has been tepid in its support of the one they called and were then surprised when he resigned. The ineptness of the board has damaged an already damaged congregation by its actions. In fact, I predict that this congregation that has already suffered deep pain will go even deeper into decline by the actions of its board. Further, any wise candidate in the future will read the writing on the wall and decline to come leaving them with an undiscerning candidate who wants a job. Thus the cycle is likely to repeat itself.

When confronted with their actions, some members of this board refused counsel. The prediction of that counsel has now come to pass. Another pastor is gone, the congregation is divided and further losses are inevitable. They live with an attitude that things are well and healthy. Unfortunately because of their past actions, many of the healthy leaders have have already migrated out of the church, unwilling to live with the dishealth they observed.


Here is the principle. Every congregation is one leadership board away from trouble and decline. This congregation is paying the price of poor, unhealthy and dysfunctional leadership. And, the end result will most likely be a long period before the congregation is healthy if it every regains health - which is an open question. When the leaders don't understand their lack of health, there is little chance for congregations to become healthy.


My concern is both for the congregation that suffers from the poor leadership of its board and for another pastor who is temporarily or permanently out of ministry. The pain of the congregation is high, and for the pastor - exceedingly deep. And in the end, it is the board that is responsible for both. 


Board members are under shepherds of the Lord of the Church. They will one day answer for their their actions, their decisions, their decisions and their wisdom. Many will receive a reward from Christ as "good and faithful servants." Others will receive hard questions as to their lack of faithfulness, wisdom and ultimately poor care for their flock. I bless the former and fear for the latter. 

Too many boards and board members of local churches take their mandate too carelessly. They often do not understand good leadership, lack wisdom and in the end hurt rather than help the people they lead. Such is the case in the church I am watching at the moment. It makes me sad and I am certain it makes the Lord of the church sad as well. It is also why over eighty percent of the congregations in the United States are either plateaued or in decline. Guard the gate of your leadership. Hold your board accountable for healthy practices and pray for wisdom on their part.

Life as we know it and life as we planned it

I can already see the smile on your face if you are in your forties or later! For many of us, perhaps most of us, life as we know it today is very different than life as we planned it. That is certainly true for me. The question is, have we adjusted and embraced life as we know it rather than living in sadness or bitterness over life as we planned it.

Life as we planned it is a product of our youth, largely devoid of the realities of living in a sinful, fallen world which causes life to come undone (see my new book) and change in ways we never could have imagined. More than that, life as we planned it cannot take into account the sovereign work of God in our lives who wants to use us in ways that we could not have imagined. His divine preparation for our use takes us to places we could have never imagined. 

Think of Moses. From a life of privilege and nobility, could he have possibly imagined forty years as a shepherd in the wilderness? Yet that was the path God took him on so that when he met Him in the burning bush he was prepared for the task ahead of him.

Think of David. He is anointed by Samuel as the next king and then finds himself running for his life for years as Saul tries to kill him. Yet, it was in those years that many of the Psalms were written which show how God was shaping his heart in the process of his wilderness experience. He would become the greatest king Israel would ever have. 

The reality is that God has a way of taking our dreams and molding us for impact that is far beyond what we could have imagined but the path to that greater impact is a path of hardship and even the wilderness that forces us to trust Him more, push into Him more, develop authentic faith and hard won character. His diversions for our lives are not aberrations but are His contribution to life as we planned it. Even when that means taking great heartache and redeeming it for His purposes.

One of the conclusions I have is that life as I planned it does not have the color, opportunities, growth, faith filled moments and trust learned the hard way as life as I know it. And that is because my Sovereign Father took my dreams - and willingness to follow - infused it with His purposes and  His preparation and gave me opportunities and impact that I could not have ever had without His participation in my life.


I think of Abraham. What would life have been for Him if he had not walked the life of faith that he did. It was certainly not life as he planned it. But because of his obedience and God's work in his life, He impacted every person who every followed God after him as he became the model of faith and followership.


Seen through God's eyes, life as we planned it is a mere shadow of life as we know it when we have wholeheartedly followed Him in the adventure of life. Without His sovereignty over the course of our lives we would be far less than we are today. For that, in spite of the road that got me here, I rejoice.

Sometime take a sheet of paper and make three columns: Life as I planned it; Life as it is today and lessons God taught me in the process. Then ask, "how am I different because of the path God took me on - including the painful and hard times?"

For my many readers in the UK

My book, Live Like You Mean It: The 10 Crucial Questions That Will Help You Clarify Your Purpose; Live Intentionally and Make the Most of the Rest of Your Life is currently being offered as a free Kindle download (UK only). 

Take advantage of this offer and help spread the word in the UK!

Reputation management

Everyone who leads, whether full time, or in volunteer settings accumulates wounds from that leadership. Sadly, the most painful wounds are not from those outside the Kingdom but from those inside. The deepest wounds for many of us are attacks on our character. I once had the joy, years ago of listening to six pages of accusations against my character read in public. Nothing is more painful. One cannot lead without being attacked and the most painful attacks are to what matters the most to us - our reputations.

When our character is attacked, what we want to do at the least is to respond and defend what is so precious to us. Or, even to strike back in righteous anger. Both are human reactions but neither are helpful. Those who attack our character will not be moved, and in the end only God can vindicate our actions and character. 

David, agonized over those who attacked his character. He also gave us great advice when evil men speak ill of us - and attacks on our character are often the work of either "evil men" or those who the evil one is using to discourage and hurt us, whether believers or not. David tells us when attacked:


"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him"
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret"
"Wait for the Lord and keep his way"
Psalm 37


Time and God have a way of sorting out our character in the minds of others. We play not to the crowd but to an audience of One. His opinion is the one that matters, not the opinions of our detractors. The best thing we can do when attacked is to refuse to fight back, give our pain to God, guard our own hearts, attitudes and words and focus on being the people God wants us to be.

This is neither easy nor natural. In fact, responding in grace to personal attacks can only be done when we are staying close to God, have His perspective and are walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. In the end, we cannot manage our reputation, that is God's responsibility. What we can do is live in a way that pleases him rather than worrying about what others think.

When Life Comes Undone: Walking by Faith when Life is Hard and Hope is Scarce

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The new book is out. Copies can be ordered from Next Step Resources.

The book is written:

• For those going through hard times
• For small group discussion around suffering and pain in our lives
• As a resource that churches can provide for those whose lives have come undone.

Life comes undone for all of us and when it does, we live with the pain, uncertainty and questions that come with it. Using a biblical perspective When Life Comes Undone can help you navigate those times when life is hard and hope is scarce.  The book is written out of deep, personal experiences with catastrophic illnesses, and speaks to the question of suffering with the candor and honesty that comes from grappling with pain firsthand.

Table of Contents

1.   Life Undone (When Life Changes Forever)

2.   The Unlikely Gift (Learning to Walk in Faith)

3.   Divine Scars (The Fellowship of His Sufferings)

4.   Creation Interrupted (Why Bad Things Happen)

5.   God's Amazing Heart (Understanding God's Love for Us)

6.   High Ropes and Waterfalls (Where Faith and Grace Collide)

7.   Storming Heaven's Gates (Bold Prayer)

8.   Offensive Plays (Taking Life Back)

9.   Life Redone (New Perspectives Forged in Fire)

10. Freedom (Reshaped Hearts)

The book will help you understand how you can turn your human scars into divine scars

• Understand why bad things happen to God's people
• Develop bold faith and understand God's grace and love
• Pray boldly
• Take life back
• Experience the freedom that pain can bring
• See how God takes the pain in our lives and turns it into something good and meaningful.

Distraction management

Our lives are full of them. They include the many ways we can spend our time, great ideas that will take us nowhere, other peoples agendas for our lives. They are all the distractions that pull at us for our time and attention and if we are not careful can pull us away from those things that are most core and central to our lives and our calling.

Some of the most spectacular and tragic air crashes have been a result of distractions in the cockpit where pilots fiddled with some unimportant issue, ignoring the fact that the plane itself was going to crash. One of the most notorious was a crew fiddling with a broken light (a minor issue) as the plane proceeded to crash in a swamp (a major issue).

That is the irony of distractions. They are often little things, innocuous things that steal our attention from the most important priorities of our lives: relationships; ministry calling; using our God given gifts; investment in others; and the big rocks of our lives. It is the good robbing us of the best. 

This is why it is so important to take time periodically to take stock of our activities, priorities, focus and relationships and determine whether they are in sync with what we believe God has for our lives. It is also where the power of NO comes in. The only way to deal with distractions is to say no to them and to those who offer them to us - graciously of course.

Here are three questions that it is worth asking on a regular basis. I do so monthly: What is core to my life and calling?; What distractions are getting in the way of my life and calling?; and What am I going to do about it?

All wise people practice "distraction management."

Your church board is unhealthy but you are not on it and don't know what to do about it

It is not unusual that I receive emails or calls from individuals who want to know what to do about an unhealthy church board - in their church. They see that the board does not have its act together, they see the results of that dysfunction (including pastors whom they love leaving) but they feel impotent to affect real change. I have found myself in that situation at times and I am sure many others have as well.

In some cases, it is even worse for the fact that they know that the board has sought help but has rejected the advice they received and they muddle on in their dysfunction and that dysfunction is negatively impacting the church body as it always does. The consequence of sick boards is inevitably a sick church - but what do you do about it if you are in the church watching? 


Before I suggest a course of action, we need to recognize that there is a deeper problem to a sick board and that is that the congregation does not have a good way to vet potential leaders. Good leaders don't allow their board to get sick. Poor choices of church leaders and poor board leadership result in sick boards.


That being said, what does one do? The first thing we need to do is to make this a matter of prayer. This is a deeply spiritual issue for a congregation and for us as well. Unless our own attitude is right, we will add to the already problematic situation with our own anger which adds fuel to the fire. The evil one love sick boards and church fights. Don't give him that joy.


Second, commit to yourself that you will never intentionally "hurt the bride of Christ." Your local congregation is a local representation of Christ's bride, no matter how dysfunctional. Your board, through their lack of healthy leadership may already be hurting the church. You don't want to contribute to that hurt. I would rather quietly leave a church (and I have) rather than to contribute to church conflict.


Third, be honest with what you see with board members you can speak to.Give them your observations about what you see happening and how it is impacting the church. Ask questions, speak for yourself (not others) and clearly state your concerns.


If matters continue, I would consider doing the same thing in a congregational meeting if I believed it might make a difference - carefully. I would state my personal concerns, making it clear again that I speak for myself and not others doing so without a personal attack or hidden agenda. If I thought that saying something would not make a difference I would refrain and keep my own counsel.


Some will disagree with this and that is fine. If I thought that there was little chance that the dysfunction could be solved, I would leave the church and look for a healthy one. Unhealthy churches produce unhealthy disciples, muddle along without direction and are a magnet for people who like conflict. Do you want to be a part of that and do you want to bring your friends to a place with that ethos? It can be painful to leave a church but fortunately most of us have other expressions of the bride that are available to us. Obviously we need God's direction in such issues but we are often naive in believing that things will change.


Congregations, like families often have dysfunctional "family systems" which support that dysfunction. They make it hard to voice differing opinions or even to leave. In other words, the very church culture prevents the dysfunction from being dealt with. It is  a closed circle that does not allow outside views (taken to an extreme one has a cult). Sometimes you don't realize how unhealthy the culture is until you are out of that culture and experience the freedom of a healthy church. Closed systems rarely change and trying to affect change to a closed system will generally end up with you on the outside for trying. Even pastors have limited ability to impact a closed system which is why they often end up resigning when they find themselves in one (unless they are a part of it).


I often say that churches get what they deserve. Elect poor leadership and you get dysfunctional boards and congregations. Often such churches manage to repeat their same dysfunctions over and over again. I have met boards that did not want advice, did not want to own up to their own issues and proudly continued in their awful leadership. I feel for those in their church! I don't want to be a part of such a church.