Helpful and wise words from a veteran missionary to the US Church

I have been asking our staff for feedback on what they wish their supporting churches understood about missions today. One of these was posted on July 5 and was read by a huge number of people. This response also comes from a younger generation of missionaries who are grappling with the changing context of missions globally as well as in the church in the United States. His insights are helpful.

The reason I share these insights is that unless we get the dance right between local churches, missionaries they support and those they are serving internationally we create complications for the mission endeavor. Dialogue and careful thought about how we do what we do in missions is deeply needed today. Here are his thoughts.

"Their sincere generosity (money, short-term teams, etc.) can actually do unintended harm by creating dependency and undermining local sustainability (as addressed very well in Toxic Charity and When Helping Hurts). Not all financial gifts or short-term teams are helpful to local ministry, and they should not be expected to direct or dictate the ministry of a long-term missionary.

"Different regions of the world have different challenges that need to be addressed differently. One size really doesn’t fit all.

"Being involved in regional multiplication as a facilitator, trainer, coach can actually be a MORE EFFECTIVE way to church plant, even if the missionary isn’t involved in one specific church plant as a leader.

"Short-term teams simply do not have the same impact as on-the-ground missionaries or local partners and such short-term teams often do not adequately understand the long-term needs of a given people

"Mission committees have a tendency to shift directions depending on current leadership and members’ interests; the result is that long-term missionaries can be left with unstable partnerships with U.S. churches.

"Local church accountability needs to happen in the context of a caring, committed relationship that believes the best, not just as an administrative task to make sure missionaries don’t screw up.

"Because of the potential for missionary mobility in the modern world, I would encourage church’s to focus more on supporting gifted missionaries instead of supporting people based on their specific location.

"Not everything that looks green is healthy or sustainable (much of Latin America’s evangelical growth).

"Places with little spiritual fruit need missionaries and patience (Western Europe and the Islamic World). There is no harvest if there is no sowing.

"Good ministries and teams require supported missionaries in leadership. This is not just an administrative waste.

"Most missionaries are not low-level “interns” but highly trained and experienced professionals who are a tremendous resource to the America church as partners.

"Let us know what gifts and unique skills/resources you have available within your congregation. Then we can better know ways to partner that will really matter."

See also
Sticker shock in missions
We will not support you as a missionary because...
Missionary support team building: very tough work
Holistic missions: Cautions and opportunities

Leaders and honesty

If you are a leader, this article will cause you to think!
Are we completely honest leaders? 

Hidden agendas and passive aggressive behavior

Have you ever worked with someone who is passive aggressive? Probably all of us have. What lies behind this behavior are hidden agendas - a desire to get somewhere on some issue that is kept hidden rather than stated up front. What is unhealthy about the behavior is not the agenda itself - all of us have them, but the fact that an individual is not willing to be honest about their agenda with others.


Hidden agendas and passive aggressive behavior are actually a form of dishonesty that destroys trust. It is dishonest in that the actual agenda of an individual is unstated and hidden. Therefore it is not possible for others to address it. Either they must guess at the agenda or they figure it out from behaviors but it is still difficult to put on the table because it is unstated. 


In our organization we have a principle called Robust Dialogue where any issue can be put on the table with the exception of personal attacks or hidden agendas. The reason there cannot be hidden agendas is that you cannot have honest dialogue when they are present. What you actually have is a surface dialogue with other issues underlying the conversation that remain unstated.


Hidden agendas are often a way of trying to outmaneuver or undermine another individual without stating it. When this happens on church boards or teams it creates an underlying conflict in the group which may or may not be recognized but it is surely felt. 


I was once called by a pastor who had a former leader in his church pushing him to take a sabbatical. He and the board were thinking that maybe it was a good idea. After asking a few questions it became clear that this individual had a history of undermining the senior pastor. 


In dialogue it became clear that he most likely had a hidden agenda in his suggestion - getting the senior pastor out of town so that he could undermine his leadership. He clearly had an agenda that he was not stating and that was therefore dishonest. Rather than stating his issues up front he was maneuvering from behind. 


This is why healthy organizations make it clear that in their culture they will not tolerate hidden agendas and call people on it when they exhibit passive aggressive behavior or there is indication that there is an agenda behind the stated agenda. We are too lax in allowing behaviors that are toxic and unhealthy. Rather we ought to set a standard and then hold people to them. It may be something you need to talk with your organization, board or team about.

Flexibility and the art of negotiation

An important trait for leaders as well as team and board members is that of flexibility: the ability to live with a certain ambiguity and the willingness to put aside one's personal preferences when necessary for the good of the group. 


Inflexible leaders (or team or board members) come off as autocratic and often as arrogant (whether they intend to or not) because they need to have their way. Their thinking is black and white and they are willing to die on hills not worth dying on. It creates great frustration for people around them who cannot figure out what the inflexibility is about.


With inflexibility comes a critical spirit because alternate ideas or choices are by nature the wrong ones. Thus, creative dialogue is stifled, killing healthy robust dialogue at the best and creating conflict at the worst as others push for a different and common solution.


I will never knowingly put an inflexible, black and white individual on a team because it will hurt the team. Nor will I put such an individual into leadership because they cannot lead collaboratively. In fact, inflexible leaders would be counterculture and destructive to our organization that is highly empowered and collegial. 


There are certainly black and white issues - integrity and sin for instance. But much of life is gray - neither black and white - where we make choices from among many options, none of which are either right or wrong. They are simply choices. In my fifties, I am far more flexible than I was in my twenties. I am less sure about many things but more sure about a few things. 


If you struggle with inflexibility, ask yourself these questions:

• If we do this, what is the worst that could happen?
• Am I willing to humble myself to the will of the group?
• Can I trust that the Holy Spirit will speak through the group?
• Why do I need to have my way?
• Why am I anxious about this decision?

Negotiation is the art of dialogue around those issues where we come at them from a different perspective than others. An inflexible individual tends not to dialogue but to push for their way. Flexible individuals are able to have a conversation around their differences and in the process usually come to a solution that is actually better than any of the individual solutions proposed. 

Ironically, the willingness to talk through differences often gets you closer to what you would have wished. That dialogue is actually negotiation if done with an open spirit.

Can I disagree with you and still keep my relationship with you?

One of the signs of emotional maturity is the ability to disagree with someone and still remain connected relationally. All too often, Christian leaders are unable to do this because they are threatened by those who do not agree with them. I have seen numerous cases, for instance, where a leader or member of a church is marginalized by the senior pastor when that individual disagrees with them.


Leaders who are unable to maintain relationship with those who disagree with them usually divide people into two camps: those that are for me and those that are against me. To live in the first camp usually means to agree with their leader. One gets moved to the second camp when one disagrees with their leader. It is a black and white, for and against world view that damages relationships, hurts the leadership potential of the leader who chooses to marginalize others and divides organizations and congregations. 


Often, church boards are divided by this thinking as the pastor divides in his mind and therefore his relationships those that are for him and those that are against him. It is a toxic behavior.


Here is an interesting question: What lies behind this kind of marginalization of someone who disagrees? I would suggest two answers: insecurity and pride.


Insecurity compels many leaders to need to be right. Anything that challenges their rightness becomes a threat and thus their marginalization of those who disagree with them. The need to be right and its resulting behaviors often masks great insecurity.


Pride and at its worst, narcissism, can also be at the root of this behavior. By definition, a narcissist must be right and anyone who challenges their world view is disregarded, marginalized (ignored) or becomes the enemy. To put it in Facebook terms they are summarily defriended.


This is obviously a tricky issue to confront as the moment one does, one is likely to be marginalized. Boards, because of their authority, can, if they are willing, confront the behavior of a leader. If he or she responds, it will be the kindest thing they ever did. If the issue is narcissism, it is unlikely that there will be any change and the board then has a deeper problem to deal with.


All of us, however, should ask ourselves the question as to whether we exhibit this kind of behavior. It divides, assigns ill motives and hurts teams and organizations. Lets make sure that we are not guilty.

Leadership and ministry commitments of the Apostle Paul for our lives

Neither ministry or ministry leadership is easy. If you lead in God's kingdom or do ministry as a way of life, you know that there is a cost to be paid. The Apostle Paul is a great model of one who lead and ministered well and he had several commitments that made his ministry powerful.

In his final charge to Timothy, the Apostle Paul makes a statement about his life and work which ought to be carefully considered by all Christ followers and leaders. He specifically lists nine things that he wants Timothy to remember and consider for his own life and leadership. These nine characteristics ought to apply to everyone, not just leaders.

"You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, Sufferings...(2 Timothy 3:10-11).

Teaching 

We know from Paul's own messages, writing and admonitions to Timothy and Titus how careful and thorough Paul's teaching was. He never took his teaching lightly and he was a master at both theology and practical application. His teaching was never divorced from the text or from the realities of every day life. Would those who know us best say that about us?

Way of life

Paul lived in a way that was consistent with his teaching - a major challenge for all Christian leaders. Not only was his teaching above reproach but his life was as well. There was no dichotomy between how he lived and what he taught - and Timothy knew this because he had traveled and worked with Paul and knew him inside and out.  My test for this is whether my spouse and closest colleagues would say that my way of life is consistent with what I write, speak and teach?

Purpose

Paul, like all good leaders was crystal clear on his focus and purpose which was to bring God's Gospel to the Gentiles. That God given purpose drove all of his activities, energy and direction. His was not an accidental life but an intentional purpose driven life. Would those around us say the same about us and would they be able to articulate what motivates and drives us?

Faith

Paul's teaching, way of life and purpose were all driven by a deep, abiding faith in the living God who was able to work powerfully in any situation in which he found himself. One of the amazing things about Paul, given the terrific suffering he experienced and the crazy situations he found himself in was that he was always optimistic and always confident of God's ability accomplish through him what needed to be accomplished. This was a direct reflection of his faith in God.

Patience

There is no ministry without a great deal of patience. Ministry takes time, people can be slow to respond, they can disappoint and do dumb things. That is why anyone who is going to lead or be involved in ministry must develop the same patience that God has for us. It is the patience that understands that growth takes place as the Holy Spirit works in people's lives and cannot be forced by us. Impatience with people is usually a sign that we are not content to let the Holy Spirit do His work. Would those we minister to describe us as patient?

Love

I am always amazed reading Paul's letters to folks, how much love he expresses toward them, including some pretty intransigent folks. Love for God and love for people are prerequisites for anyone in ministry. Without a real love for people, knowing that they are made in His Image, we cannot minister to them in ways that exude  His love. It is the love of Jesus that compels us to love all those whom He made, even the most unlovable from the world's point of view. Interestingly, those we minister too are often able to determine whether our ministry is driven by our own needs, desires and ego or by a genuine love for them.

Endurance

Paul never quit! He never retired from ministry! He did not allow the discouragements he encountered from both believers and non-believers to take him out of the game! Going the distance and staying the course is the mark of a good soldier who endures the hardships of war which is why Paul uses that metaphor with Timothy along with that of running the race and claiming the prize.  It is one thing to do ministry when times are easy. It is another when times are hard and it is all that one can do to hang on. Endurance is the willingness to go the distance and to do so without complaint or feeling sorry for ourselves.

Persecutions

Jesus said that all who follow Him will face persecution and Paul had his share of it. What is interesting is that rather than complain about persecution, Paul regarded it as a badge of honor to suffer for His Lord. He expected it, told others to expect it, assumed that it would happen to any who faithfully followed Jesus and wore he his badges of persecution as his credentials as a follower of Jesus. His persecution sometimes came from those who called themselves Christ followers and sometimes from pagans who did not. We should not be surprised by either form as well. The hardest persecution is always from those inside Jesus' camp who ought to know better.

Sufferings

Like persecution, Paul spoke willingly and often of the sufferings he endured for the cause of Jesus. More than that, he saw it as a privilege to suffer on behalf on Jesus. He told the Philippians, "For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him (Philippians 1:29)." He said that "I want to know Christ - yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings (Philippians 3:10)." Not once did Paul complain about the suffering he endured for Jesus. Could the same be said for us?

How do we measure up to these nine characteristics of Paul's life and ministry? Where are we doing well and where do we need to revise our attitudes? These nine characteristics make for a very powerful ministry combination. What would those closest to us say?

Essential life questions

1. The one thing in my life I could not give up is...
2. If I could change one thing about my circumstances it would be...
3. My besetting sin is...
4. My greatest spiritual growth came as a result of...
5. The thing that brings me greatest joy is...
6. If I could fix one relationship it would be...
7. God uses me the most through...
8. My greatest need for prayer revolves around...
9. My greatest regret is...
10. I feel closest to God when...
11. I find it hardest to trust God regarding...
12. The issue God is talking to me about currently is...
13. If I knew I had one month to live I would...
14. God's greatest gift to me has been...
15. I am deeply thankful today for...

Is there anything you should do as a result of your answers?