Have you ever looked into a distorted mirror and seen a distorted image? Mirrors are great when they are well made. In the same way, our own personal reflection is only as good as the mirror that we choose to use in doing so.
Many people use those who are their greatest fans as their mirrors for personal reflection. It is convenient and exceedingly comfortable as these individuals will invariably tell us what we desire to hear. And what we want to hear are positive reflections.
King David knew the dangers of syncophants who simply told him what he wanted to hear. In the Psalms he does deep personal reflection in prayer and in the Word. What he finds is often not what he wants to see (Psalm 51) but to his credit he responds to the image he sees of himself as measured against the image of God.
If we neglect our mirrors and they become smudged and dusty, they cannot reflect back a sharp image and that is what happens when we neglect the world for any period of time. Our reflection is best when we use it regularly and keep it clean.
David also learned the value of those who would reflect back his behaviors in the person of Nathan who told him a story of injustice that struck David to the core when he understood he was that man. The value of people around us who can gently but honestly tell us the truth is huge in our spiritual growth.
In prayer we experience time exposure to God who will invariably speak back to our spirit. In the Word we have the sword that cuts to the marrow of our lives and in trusted friends we have others who can speak truth to us. These are mirrors we can trust. Many other mirrors will fail us and tell us what we want to see but not necessarily what we need to see.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
It's a level playing field
Over lunch recently a friend said to me "You are very important leading an international mission! How do you do all the things you do?" I looked at him and said, "I could never do what you do, how do you do it? (he ministers to gangsters in Hong Kong and is on staff on a church full of former and current Triad members, prostitutes and redeemed underworld figures - many very much in process).
None of are more important than others in God's kingdom. In the world there is a pecking order based on titles, salaries and perceived importance. In the Kingdom all of us are simply asked to live out the gifting and calling that He has gifted and called us to. That is why what I do is not hard - for me! That is why what my friend does is not hard - for him! In fact, in the Kingdom, those who would be great become servants like Jesus. In His economy the last shall be first and the first shall be last.
We have different roles but we have equal value. We have different giftings but we have equal importance. We need to honor each one in God's kingdom for each is indispensable to what He wants to accomplish. There is no A team and B team: only His team. When we give undue honor to some and not to others we miss the values of His kingdom where the playing field is level and everyone is needed! This is just one of many areas where the values of our world are opposite of the values of the Kingdom.
None of are more important than others in God's kingdom. In the world there is a pecking order based on titles, salaries and perceived importance. In the Kingdom all of us are simply asked to live out the gifting and calling that He has gifted and called us to. That is why what I do is not hard - for me! That is why what my friend does is not hard - for him! In fact, in the Kingdom, those who would be great become servants like Jesus. In His economy the last shall be first and the first shall be last.
We have different roles but we have equal value. We have different giftings but we have equal importance. We need to honor each one in God's kingdom for each is indispensable to what He wants to accomplish. There is no A team and B team: only His team. When we give undue honor to some and not to others we miss the values of His kingdom where the playing field is level and everyone is needed! This is just one of many areas where the values of our world are opposite of the values of the Kingdom.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
The emotional EQ of team leaders makes all the difference
Teams are only as good as the Emotional Intelligence of their leaders. Poor EQ makes it virtually impossible to lead a healthy team. Signs of poor EQ include anger, defensiveness, inability to listen well, micromanagement of team members, inflexibility, needing to have their own way, lack of empowerment, to name a few.
Understanding our own selves well and the ability to understand others is a critical skill in any leadership position and ought to be part of the development plan of every leader. The better we understand ourselves and others, the better we manage our emotions (a critical element in EQ), the greater our skill in negotiating conflict and the better we practice the twin issues of empowerment and accountability the better we can lead. Leadership is always about people before it is about strategy and process.
How do we grow in these areas? One is obviously to do personal study on the subject of EQ which can give us a knowledge base. Another is to do personal testing whenever possible that allows us to understand ourselves better.
I believe, however, that the most helpful practice is to solicit feedback from trusted friends and colleagues about how we are perceived, what we do well with people and where we could do better. The reason feedback is so critical is that there are simply certain aspects of our behavior that we are blind to. Others, though, can reflect back observations that once we become aware of we can pay attention to.
Because leaders traffic in relationships, people and teams growing our EQ is absolutely essential to our success as leaders and to the satisfaction of those who work with us and under our leadership. Our EQ impacts the whole organization or the part of the organization we lead. For this reason, boards ought to mandate ongoing personal development of their leaders (many businesses do) as well as pay for it.
Professional development (our particular skill) is important but personal development which includes EQ is just as important for any leader because it impacts those they lead.
Understanding our own selves well and the ability to understand others is a critical skill in any leadership position and ought to be part of the development plan of every leader. The better we understand ourselves and others, the better we manage our emotions (a critical element in EQ), the greater our skill in negotiating conflict and the better we practice the twin issues of empowerment and accountability the better we can lead. Leadership is always about people before it is about strategy and process.
How do we grow in these areas? One is obviously to do personal study on the subject of EQ which can give us a knowledge base. Another is to do personal testing whenever possible that allows us to understand ourselves better.
I believe, however, that the most helpful practice is to solicit feedback from trusted friends and colleagues about how we are perceived, what we do well with people and where we could do better. The reason feedback is so critical is that there are simply certain aspects of our behavior that we are blind to. Others, though, can reflect back observations that once we become aware of we can pay attention to.
Because leaders traffic in relationships, people and teams growing our EQ is absolutely essential to our success as leaders and to the satisfaction of those who work with us and under our leadership. Our EQ impacts the whole organization or the part of the organization we lead. For this reason, boards ought to mandate ongoing personal development of their leaders (many businesses do) as well as pay for it.
Professional development (our particular skill) is important but personal development which includes EQ is just as important for any leader because it impacts those they lead.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Blessing other ministries
I love to help others in any way I can and I love to watch the reactions of those who are not used to someone offering help with nothing expected in return. This is particularly true among Christian leaders who more often compete with one another than collaborate. Or, who are simply too busy focusing on their stuff that they lack the time to add value to fellow leaders.
For me it is about kingdom influence which is a driving force in my life. I want to see the bride (the church) be all that it can be and the gospel expand to every corner of our globe. Thus, anytime I can help other leaders or ministries I am contributing to the Bride and the expansion of the Gospel regardless of whether it helps the organization I lead.
My point is that we often think of ministry expansion as defined by what our ministry does. But if we are willing to look for ways to contribute to the success of other ministries we actually leverage our influence in significant ways – even if we never get credit for it. If we care about His Kingdom we will not only work hard to lead our own ministries well but we will work hard to bless other ministries as well.
That is why ReachGlobal willingly gives away any tools it develops, any systems it has and any lessons we have learned. It is not about us, it is about Him. It also keeps us from a competition mindset. To the extent that we help other like ministries (missions and the church) we bless the growth of the church. It reminds us that we are servants to our own organization, to God and to the mission of the Great Commission. We learn much in the process because we develop new friendships and relationships.
There should be a fundamental difference between the business world (where it is all about competition) and the ministry world (where it is all about cooperation). Any time in ministry we compete against one another we are actually competing against God who is Lord of our ministry and every other ministry. When I help other ministries I bless God and the mission He has given the Church. I would rather bless God than try to compete against Him.
Why ministry teams actually do matter!
I am a great proponent of teams in ministry. I lead through a senior team in ReachGlobal, sit on the senior team of the EFCA and we organize all of ReachGlobal's personnel in teams. This is not leadership by committee but leading through team.
Here is how we define a team: A high-impact team is a group of missionally aligned and healthy individuals working strategically together under good leadership toward common objectives, with accountability for results.
It is interesting to me that the New Testament has a lot to say about teams. When Jesus picked His disciples it was a team of 12. When the first missionaries were sent it was a team of two. When church leadership was established it was a team of overseers or elders. When there was a ministry need in the early church a team of Deacons was established. Is there in fact a theology for ministry teams? I believe that there is.
Ministry teams reflect the theology of the gifting that God gives to each one of us. We are given specific gifts which means we lack other gifts. It is in the complementary use of those gifts that we make the best decisions and get the best results. I have leadership gifts but don't do process or details well. I need someone who does the details well and someone else who is process oriented to name just two of my many deficits. In team, though we find the complementary gifts that are so important.
I am convinced that the current emphasis on healthy teams in the workplace is simply a reflection of the way that God uniquely gifted us in specific areas and that the theology of God given gifts - which means we need one another - is being played out in the secular arena as we learn more about strengths and weaknesses.
Doing ministry in a team setting is harder than doing it alone in some ways. It means that we have to interact and cooperate with others. Even Paul and Barnabas could not make that happen early in their career. While there are certainly people who are not compatible with us it is also true that having to cooperate with others is one of the means that God uses to grow us. Even Paul seems to have realized that he was wrong about John Mark as he speaks fondly of him later in life.
I have found that ministering in a healthy team setting forces me to grow because I must listen to other points of view, agree to group decisions and be flexible with my own desires. In fact, it is the inability of certain people to bend their will to common decisions that is the nemesis of many teams (think church boards).
Working in team is a great counterbalance to our natural autonomous nature that simply wants to do our own thing. It is a check against our pride and our tendency to make rash decisions. I have been saved from many potentially unwise decisions through my interactions with trusted team mates. It is very rare for me to deal with any difficult situation by myself. It is in the wisdom of several trusted counselors that the best decisions are made.
One of the prerequisites for those who lead through team is a degree of humility. Even as a leader I must submit my will to the team I have brought around me. They are loyal and cooperative but in choosing to lead through team all of us including myself are subject to the group process. I am both the team leader and a member of the team. It is not what I decide but what we decide together. This is a good thing for leaders as healthy leaders must be able and willing to follow as well as to lead. Which is why unhealthy leaders don't lead through team but choose autonomy.
Here is how we define a team: A high-impact team is a group of missionally aligned and healthy individuals working strategically together under good leadership toward common objectives, with accountability for results.
It is interesting to me that the New Testament has a lot to say about teams. When Jesus picked His disciples it was a team of 12. When the first missionaries were sent it was a team of two. When church leadership was established it was a team of overseers or elders. When there was a ministry need in the early church a team of Deacons was established. Is there in fact a theology for ministry teams? I believe that there is.
Ministry teams reflect the theology of the gifting that God gives to each one of us. We are given specific gifts which means we lack other gifts. It is in the complementary use of those gifts that we make the best decisions and get the best results. I have leadership gifts but don't do process or details well. I need someone who does the details well and someone else who is process oriented to name just two of my many deficits. In team, though we find the complementary gifts that are so important.
I am convinced that the current emphasis on healthy teams in the workplace is simply a reflection of the way that God uniquely gifted us in specific areas and that the theology of God given gifts - which means we need one another - is being played out in the secular arena as we learn more about strengths and weaknesses.
Doing ministry in a team setting is harder than doing it alone in some ways. It means that we have to interact and cooperate with others. Even Paul and Barnabas could not make that happen early in their career. While there are certainly people who are not compatible with us it is also true that having to cooperate with others is one of the means that God uses to grow us. Even Paul seems to have realized that he was wrong about John Mark as he speaks fondly of him later in life.
I have found that ministering in a healthy team setting forces me to grow because I must listen to other points of view, agree to group decisions and be flexible with my own desires. In fact, it is the inability of certain people to bend their will to common decisions that is the nemesis of many teams (think church boards).
Working in team is a great counterbalance to our natural autonomous nature that simply wants to do our own thing. It is a check against our pride and our tendency to make rash decisions. I have been saved from many potentially unwise decisions through my interactions with trusted team mates. It is very rare for me to deal with any difficult situation by myself. It is in the wisdom of several trusted counselors that the best decisions are made.
One of the prerequisites for those who lead through team is a degree of humility. Even as a leader I must submit my will to the team I have brought around me. They are loyal and cooperative but in choosing to lead through team all of us including myself are subject to the group process. I am both the team leader and a member of the team. It is not what I decide but what we decide together. This is a good thing for leaders as healthy leaders must be able and willing to follow as well as to lead. Which is why unhealthy leaders don't lead through team but choose autonomy.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
A counter-intuitive idea for celebrating success
We love success in ministry or in our personal lives. It is a sign of God's blessing through the years and each of those blessings we can celebrate for He is indeed the cause of our success. But I have a suggestion that can make that celebration even more interesting.
Why do we celebrate our successes along the way? We do so to mark those places where God has been especially good to us and brought us to where we currently are. However, if we really want to understand God's goodness to us why not choose the greatest failures along the way and hold them up as the milestones of our journey. God was good in our success but He was magnificent in our failures as He took those failures and made them into something we could never have fashioned from them.
In every failure there is some work of redemption. In every failure there is a work of God's grace. In every failure there is humble recognition that the failure that should have brought disaster brought something good after all, not because of us but because of Him. Think of your life from that perspective! Think of your church from that perspective! Think of the story of redemption from that perspective!
Nothing humbles us and lifts up the Father than the way he takes our failures and redeems them for His glory. This is one place we cannot take any credit. This is one place we cannot share any of the glory. This is one place where He takes His rightful place and we ours. And it is a good place to be!
Why do we celebrate our successes along the way? We do so to mark those places where God has been especially good to us and brought us to where we currently are. However, if we really want to understand God's goodness to us why not choose the greatest failures along the way and hold them up as the milestones of our journey. God was good in our success but He was magnificent in our failures as He took those failures and made them into something we could never have fashioned from them.
In every failure there is some work of redemption. In every failure there is a work of God's grace. In every failure there is humble recognition that the failure that should have brought disaster brought something good after all, not because of us but because of Him. Think of your life from that perspective! Think of your church from that perspective! Think of the story of redemption from that perspective!
Nothing humbles us and lifts up the Father than the way he takes our failures and redeems them for His glory. This is one place we cannot take any credit. This is one place we cannot share any of the glory. This is one place where He takes His rightful place and we ours. And it is a good place to be!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The empty promises of materialism
Empty, empty, empty, is life full of stuff and devoid of God. Materialism and the chasing of material wealth has great allure but its promises are so very empty. Like a bottomless pit, there is never enough, the goal line keeps changing and the accomplishment of our goals leaves us wondering where the pay off is. Things cannot fill the God sized hole in the human heart (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Material blessings are granted to us by God for our enjoyment (Ecclesiastes) but were never meant to bring life its meaning and they cannot. When we substitute stuff for God, when we focus on things for fulfillment, we purchase the ultimate lie of the Evil one. And we do purchase it, one item at at time. Ever expecting some lasting and meaningful benefit but which fades so very quickly.
The Old Testament prophets laugh at those who worship stone or wood images and it is indeed laughable if not sad. We would never do such a foolish thing. Instead we worship shiny and sophisticated items including gadgets and things on wheels with engines. Is my new HP computer in yet? And why do I need to stand in line for my new I Phone 5? Cool stuff but not any to give my life meaning.
I am thankful for all of God's blessings, including the material ones for they meet needs and allow me to share with others. They are resources not life givers. Jesus is the life giver and that is one thing we must never forget. Don't buy the lie, one item at a time hoping they will add up to some ultimate meeting. And I have a great deal for you on an I Phone 4S!
Material blessings are granted to us by God for our enjoyment (Ecclesiastes) but were never meant to bring life its meaning and they cannot. When we substitute stuff for God, when we focus on things for fulfillment, we purchase the ultimate lie of the Evil one. And we do purchase it, one item at at time. Ever expecting some lasting and meaningful benefit but which fades so very quickly.
The Old Testament prophets laugh at those who worship stone or wood images and it is indeed laughable if not sad. We would never do such a foolish thing. Instead we worship shiny and sophisticated items including gadgets and things on wheels with engines. Is my new HP computer in yet? And why do I need to stand in line for my new I Phone 5? Cool stuff but not any to give my life meaning.
I am thankful for all of God's blessings, including the material ones for they meet needs and allow me to share with others. They are resources not life givers. Jesus is the life giver and that is one thing we must never forget. Don't buy the lie, one item at a time hoping they will add up to some ultimate meeting. And I have a great deal for you on an I Phone 4S!
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