Embracing all of God's people

I had a wonderful experience recently. Before I spoke at a church conference the senior pastor came up to me and said, "I don't know if you are aware that we have a ministry to those with mental disabilities in our church. In the first service they usually sit in the front and in the second service in the back. If you hear some strange noises or see people walking around during the service, don't worry, we are all used to it." 

Sure enough there were a few in both services that I had the privilege to interact with after the message and between services. Contrast that with another church that removed an individual from the services because his disability might cause a "distraction."

One cannot imagine Jesus marginalizing anyone! When some protested that the little children were doing just that he pointedly turned His attention to them. The sick, the lame, the demon possessed, the prostitutes, tax collectors and the lepers all found in Him a friend. They are also made in His image and of equal importance to Him and therefor to His family.

I was proud of this congregation that was more concerned for all of God's people than that they had a "perfect" service or one in this case without interruption. I am always encouraged when I find churches who embrace all of God's people rather than the ones who fit our criteria. The irony is that we all have issues in our lives: some of us are just better at hiding them than others. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Herding cats and congregational alignment

Congregations are effective to the extent that their people are moving in the same general direction. When leaders have a direction and can mobilize their people in that direction, there is great power. When leaders don’t have a direction or people don’t know the direction, or there has not been significant effort to herd the cats in that direction, mission suffers.

It is not easy to herd cats and it is not easy to get a group of people pointed in the same direction. But it is possible and wise leaders work on making it happen. Here are some basic tips in how to make that happen in your church.

Clarify the basics. 
Leaders need to have clarity before they can communicate clarity. They need clarity around four key areas. One, what is our mission? Two, what are our guiding principles or the non-negotiables for how we do what we do and relate to one another? Three, what is the single most important thing we need to focus on (central ministry focus)? Four, what do we want the end result of our ministry to look like (spiritual vitality)?

Leaders, pastors and staff must have a common set of commitments and a common vocabulary around these four core issues so that they can communicate them consistently and clearly with the congregation.

Communicate constantly. You cannot over communicate the basics. While we may get tired of hearing ourselves saying them, it is in the constant communication of what is truly important that people start to assimilate those beliefs. People crave clarity and good leaders provide the clarity on a regular basis. If you can communicate those key issues in a simple, clear and consistent manner, people will start to remember them.

Be upfront with new members and attenders.
The reference point for what church is or should be for people who have had prior church experience is some church in their past. They often come into a new church thinking that your church will be like some past church. It won’t in all likelihood. Use new member classes or informal gatherings of new attenders to communicate who you are, what your commitments are and what your direction is. Clarify the four issues noted earlier.

This is important if you truly want your culture to reflect your mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and end result. The fact is that you do not want people importing values that are inconsistent with who you are or want to be. Not all churches fit all people. Be clear as to who you are and what people can expect in their experience in your congregation.

Ensure that every ministry in the church is communicating the same thing. You will either lose alignment or gain alignment depending on whether every one of your ministry leaders and key volunteers is communicating the same message. For instance, all staff, volunteers and ministry leaders need to know those things that you are clear on regarding mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and the end goal of your ministries - and have a plan for how they will communicate them in their particular ministry. If all ministry leaders communicate and live out the same message – it will get through.

Use small groups to focus the congregation on key ministries. 
Small groups can either align or miss-align a congregation depending on whether there is a strategy to ensure that leaders are paying attention to the key ministry commitments of the congregation. For instance, one should ensure that every small group is intentionally helping people move toward a common definition of spiritual maturity – depending on how your church as defined maturity. Or, if community involvement is key to your ministry, every small group should have a plan for how they will contribute to community ministry.

All small group leaders should have the same understanding, commitment to and concern for the mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and the desired end result of ministry. If they do not have the same commitment as staff and leaders, the cats will not be moving in the same direction.

Develop your "way"
Executives from around the world pay big bucks to attend Disney seminars on the “Disney Way.” It is the way that the Disney Company does business, treats employees and the unique culture they espouse. Every church ought to have “a way” or a culture that defines it that is inculcated into every staff member, every board member, every volunteer or key ministry leader – and then into the congregation as a whole.

Your way includes the culture you want to create (guiding principles), the mission you exist for, the desired end result of your ministry (spiritual vitality) and the central ministry focus – the developing, empowering and releasing of people into active, meaningful ministry.

This also includes a common vocabulary that is spoken in your hallways, the living out of your preferred culture and a consistent message over time. Done well, you will develop your unique culture and the cats will move generally in the same direction.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Before you determine strategy

As an organizational leader and consultant I encounter many can do people with lots of creative ideas as to what the ministry they are a part of should be doing. Readers of this blog know that I love creative ideas. However, ideas and strategies can also be your undoing if you don't do some critical work first.

Before you go to strategy you need to go to another harder place - ministry clarity. Ministry clarity answers the four key questions every organization needs to answer: Why are we here? What are our non-negotiable guiding principles? What do we need to do day in and day out to maximize our impact? and What culture must we create in order to see our dreams realized. 

Without clarity which becomes the true north of your ministry strategies (whether good or bad) are merely floating ideas which may or may well not contribute to your end result. 

It is only when you know the specific direction you are to go that strategies come into play and the ones you choose should only be those that allow you to move toward the direction you have chosen. Many ideas will take you somewhere. The question is whether they will take you toward the God given vision you have articulated as to where your ministry needs to go. Many ideas and strategies will actually be counter productive to where you want to end up which is why clarity must come before strategy.

As a consultant I am often asked early in a relationship if the ministry should do thus and so. My answer is always "I have no idea." That surprises ministry leaders until I explain that until they have clarity on where they need to go there is no point in discussing specific ideas and strategies. It is truly the cart before the horse.

Many ministries do a lot of good things but never achieve the impact they could have. Usually that is because there is insufficient clarity to guide their decision making process. Clarity is always first, other issues come second. Chapters two, three and four in Leading From the Sandbox are all about getting to clarity. If you know this is a need for your ministry I would encourage you to take a look.

Reflections on Emotional Intelligence

Ministry organizations pay far too little attention to the issue of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). When we hire we look at competency and character and fit with our organization. But, we often gloss over the individual's EQ and if the EQ is not good we pay a price for neglecting this issue.

In most ministry settings the single greatest cause of conflict revolves around poor EQ causing relational issues, bad feelings, disempowerment and lack of health.

Emotional Intelligence, often labeled EQ, is the ability to understand ourselves, know what drives us, accurately see who how we are perceived by others, and know how we relate to others. EQ also measures whether we have the relational skill to work synergistically with others while being 'self defining' and allowing others to speak into our lives or work without defensiveness.

Signs of poor EQ include the inability to listen to others, personal defensiveness, unawareness of how we come across to others, lack of sensitivity to the feelings of others, inability to constructively deal with conflict, a need to control others, narcissism, and the need to have our own way.

Good EQ includes openness to the opinions of others, lack of defensiveness, awareness of who we are and how others perceive us, sensitivity to others, the ability to release others rather than control them, allow for constructive and robust dialogue, and the ability to abide by common decisions.

It is possible for someone to have great competence but to have low EQ and leave relational havoc in their wake. Don't put them on your team. In fact, if they cannot be helped to become healthy, they probably should not be an employee of your ministry because no matter how competent they are, the damage they cause relationally in and outside the organization is too high. The alternative is to put them in a spot where they will do the least damage to others.

One of the sins of ministry organizations is that under the guise of 'grace' or 'being nice' we are not honest with people who have EQ issues. We don't tell them when their style hurts others or causes relational chaos. Then having not been honest, we finally get fed up and let them go. That is not helpful nor fair.

The first step in helping people develop better EQ is to sit down with them and honestly share how the behaviors that are problematic cause problems and to suggest ways that they can modify their behavior to minimize the negative fallout. Many times in our organization we will ask people to see a psychologist when there are significant issues to try to bring change. Where change is not forthcoming we will take action to help them find another organization to work for. The alternative is to compromise the health of the team they are on and the missional effectiveness of the ministry.

Good EQ for leaders is especially important. Leaders with poor EQ often control others, micro-manage, are threatened by people who are more competent than themselves, do not foster robust dialogue and consequently are unable to develop healthy teams. The fallout on the team are issues that people don't dare discuss, mistrust, silo mentalities, frustration of team members and lack of cooperation.

Two excellent articles on Emotional Intelligence are Leadership that Gets Results, Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review, March-April 2000, reprint number R00204 and What Makes a Leader, Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review, January 2004, Reprint number R0401H

Watching the tide: Don't get caught unaware

Nothing lasts forever, not even our present jobs or ministries. The question is whether we are aware when the tide may be moving out - with the threat that we might be left high and dry. Wise individuals watch the tide so that they are not caught by surprise - and have the opportunity to take action on their own terms.

Tides are not always fair to the ships riding on them. Nor is life at times. Changing tides can be about a church or organization going through transition, leadership changes, personality conflicts with those we may work closely with, a lack of agreement with the mission or culture of the ministry we serve, or our own need for a change.

The issue is not whether the tide may be going out is due to us or other factors. The issue is whether we are aware of the direction of the water's flow or if we will be caught by surprise. Connected to an awareness of the tide is a discernment as to whether the place where we work continues to be healthy for us and whether it maximizes our gifts.

For senior leaders the first question is, how am I doing with my board to whom I am ultimately accountable?

Whether in the secular world or the world of ministry, knowing how your board views your work, effectiveness and ability to drive the mission at any stage of your leadership is paramount. My observation is that once one has lost the confidence of the board that the tide is unlikely to come back in.

If there are tensions with the board it is critical to know where the tensions are and then to determine whether it is possible to resolve the issues involved, or if it is going to be a losing battle. Again, the issue is not whether it is a "fair" situation, from our point of view. It is better to have honest, candid and robust discussion with a board than to find out one day that the tide has gone out on us and we are being asked to leave. Or are fired.

The same goes for those of us who report to a supervisor other than a board. One of the best things we can do is to solicit regular feedback on their view of our work so that there are no surprises. I realize that it can feel threatening to actually ask the important questions. The alternative, however, is even worse - not knowing that there are issues - or pretending that there are not when we know there are.

This does not mean that our supervisor always needs to be happy with us or that we cannot press back on issues. In fact, that is exactly what happens when there is a relationship of trust between a staff member and supervisor. Honesty and disagreement are expected in a healthy relationship. It does mean that we are aware if there are deeper issues that a supervisor may have with us - and whether those issues can be resolved or not.

We also ought to be aware of how we are doing with out colleagues, those who play at our level. This takes more personal awareness but it is an indicator of the tides. It is not necessary that we are best friends with our colleagues. It is necessary that they respect us and the effectiveness of our work. If they do not, it can erode our effectiveness since their perceptions can influence others and because our effectiveness is dependent on the willing cooperation of our peers.

An awareness of how those who report to us feel about our work, character, leadership and effectiveness is vastly undervalued. It is easy for leaders or supervisors to pay too little attention to this since they are "in charge." However, the truth is that those who report to us will either help us or hurt us in proportion to the respect that they have for us. If they lose confidence in our ability to lead, we are in serious trouble.

Let me be honest on this one. If we are unwilling to ask those who report to us how we are doing, either using a 360 review process or directly, we should not be leading. We may not like the feedback, we may need to learn from the feedback or we may like the feedback. The issue is whether we are willing to hear the feedback - for our own good and so that we are not surprised.

Healthy leaders have an attitude of "nothing to prove, nothing to lose." They want the feedback so that they can lead better and so that the mission is accomplished. At the least, it is wise to know where our people are. And they probably will not tell us unless we ask.

Finally we need to be aware of our own growth curve, level of challenge and whether we are at the top of our game or have moved into a plateaued or coasting mode. If we are not at the top of our game in the position we are in, we either need to figure out how to get back to the top, or admit that we may need a change. Others will see where we are in our growth curve, so it is wise for us to know as clearly as they do.

Wise individuals are aware individuals. They understand that life is not always fair, that jobs don't last forever, that God is sovereign and that self awareness is a key part of emotional health. They watch the tides, not in fear, but as ship captains do. So they are not caught like the tall ship in the picture.

Eleven things that discourage pastors and Christian leaders

Board members and congregants and staff seem to find it easy to criticize their pastor or leader. After all he works for them. As a former pastor and one who consults with pastors regularly I would suggest that there are a number of things that bring major discouragement to your pastor. 

1. Bringing a major issue up on Sunday after your pastor has preached. Most non-preachers don't understand how much energy goes into a Sunday message. Unless there is an emergency, Sunday is the wrong day to dump issues on your pastor. So is Monday when  he is recovering from Sunday. For most of us weekends are just regular days. Not so for your pastor.

2. Professional critics. Now I am a firm believer that we ought to be able to talk about any issue but I am most likely to listen carefully to who I know have my best interests in mind. There are people who believe that their spiritual gift is to criticize others, especially pastors. While your pastor may choose to respond graciously it does not mean that he is not hurt deeply by a constant barrage of criticism. 

3. Anonymous letters. I have a rule. If a letter is anonymous I will not read it. If someone does not have the guts to reveal who they are why should I listen to their counsel (actually it is rarely counsel but critical feedback).

4. Passive aggressive individuals. These are those who say one thing to one's face and then do the opposite behind one's back. As I have said previously, this is not only a form of dishonesty but it requires a lot of time and energy when that behavior causes conflict in relationships and in the church. 

5. Passing on information from anonymous sources and refusing to reveal where the information comes from. Comments like "Many people feel this way" without naming who feels that way leaves a pastor in an impossible position. I for one, will not have a conversation with anyone who comes with this kind of information if they are not willing to reveal the source. I cannot evaluate the information without knowing the source and some sources I will discount immediately because they are professional critics.

6. Power brokers. These are people who use power to get their way rather than through the normal channels of leadership. They try to win by intimidation or threats. As a leader I ask them to please  share their issues with my leadership group which immediately causes them to back off. They don't like accountability but want to force their way behind the scenes.

7. Legalists. These are professional pharisees who believe that everyone should see life and Christian practices (most of them are not Christian practices) their way. There is much in the Christian life that is grey and where we are to follow our conscience. Legalists want people to live in their bondage (see Galatians) rather than in the freedom of Jesus.

8. Sharing issues about you with others rather than with you personally. I invite any who have issues with me to talk to me. It is gossip, passive aggressive behavior, destructive and cowardly to talk to others about a leader when they have not talked to the leader themselves. It also is unbiblical (see Matthew 18).

9. Staff who go around them to complain to board members. This is not only bad governance but it hurts the ability of a leader to lead. Furthermore, the board member gets only one side of the story. If a staff member feels that there is a moral issue at stake he or she should ask for a meeting with the pastor and the church chair so there can be a real conversation without violating the chain of supervision.

10. Those who want their church to look like the church they left. Here is an irony. Many people leave a church unhappy but their version of church is the one they left. Every church is unique. Your present church will never be your former church, for better or for worse. Suggestions are great when make in the right spirit. Your pastor does not pastor your former church but your current church.

11. Church leaders who don't keep confidences. What is said in a board room belongs there and no where else. Those who violate board procedures and agreements kill trust for the rest of the board.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Simple but profound faith

Father, I thank you for the gift of grace that has forgiven my sin and started to remake my heart into one that looks like Yours.

Thank you for providing for my needs today. Help me not to worry about tomorrow.

You have invited me to join you in Your work. Empower me to be faithful in serving you today - as you have gifted and called me. Allow me to show Your love to at least one person today.

Whatever you bring to me today I accept as a gift from Your hand. Give me the grace needed to deal with each situation I face.

Grant me the empowerment of Your Spirit, favor with people and the wisdom needed to negotiate my day.

Amen


All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.