A real time picture of globalization: Most commonly spoken language (other than English) in each London borough

See this amazing picture of globalization

The Church: Helping people grow up

Here is an interesting concept: The church is a place where we help people grow up! We have a Father and the Father wants us to grow up in Him from kids to maturity. Jesus accepts us for who we are but wants us to become like who He is. Maturity is the goal according to Paul in Ephesians 4. 

Think about some of the implications of this. Many people expect the church to be the source of their spiritual growth. That is the perspective of immaturity. Growing up means that I take responsibility for my spiritual life and don't outsource it to others.

How many congregations deal with petty conflicts? Growing up means that we treat one another with honor and dignity, allow others to think differently than ourselves and living in peace rather than in conflict.

Many leadership groups in the local church find it hard to agree to corporate decisions. We want our way like toddlers who won't let others play with their toys. Growing up means that we have respectful discussion, make corporate decisions and agree to live by them.

Often our congregations think that the church is primarily for their benefit. Growing up means that we choose to live like Jesus and reach out to those who are not yet in the church. If the church is about me I am living from immature selfishness. If the church is about others who need to hear the Good News I am living in maturity and generosity.

Growing up is a great metaphor for what the church is about and what the Christian life is about. Where do you (and I) need to grow up? Where does our congregation need to grow up? 

When I have to deal with problematic situations as a leader

Leaders regularly face issues that have consequences depending on how they are handled. Many times we act either too fast out of anxiety or too slow out of fear. So how should we process such situations in our own minds? Let me suggest four issues we ought to be concerned about.

The first is discernment! Problematic situations are often more complex than they seem on the surface. Take a church conflict, for instance, or a dysfunctional staff - there are usually multiple dynamics that play into the situation and acting too quickly and without understanding the full picture can cause additional problems.

Discernment is the process of seeking to understand what is actually happening, who is involved and why there are issues. Getting to discernment is often a matter of thinking, talking to the right people, and taking the time to ensure that we have adequate undertanding.

Discernment is critical but so is the wisdom to know how to address the issue at hand. Understanding one's problem is only part of the puzzle. Knowing what to do about it, and when and how is another. This is about process. One can make the right decision but cause additional problems through a poor process.

Wisdom asks questions like: "How do I address the issues at hand in a way that is not going to cause additional problems?" "If I take this action what are the potential ramifications or unintended consequences?" "Am I prepared to deal with those consequences?" "Is this the right time to address the problem?" "If the issues become public do I know my response?" Wisdom is all about knowing how to do what we need to do and be smart in the process.

This often requires courage! It is one thing to understand what needs to happen and it is another to have the courage to do what needs to be done, knowing that there are risks involved. Many leaders live with unresolved issues in their organization precisely because they do not have the courage to deal with them. Unfortunately this usually complicates the situation.

The fourth component is favor with those involved. Actions we take, if not supported by those around us, including staff are problematic. But if people believe that we have run due process, have acted in fairness and integrity and with grace, we gain the favor we need to do what is necessary. Favor is also generated by enough relationship that trust can be granted.

So here are the four questions we ought to ask ourselves when dealing with problematic situations:

• Have I discerned the situation clearly?
• Am I addressing the situation with wisdom?
• Do I have the courage to act?
• Do I have the favor of those who will become aware of my actions and if explained will they see my actions as necessary and reasonable.

Of course, praying for all four of these is what wise leaders do. They practice all four and they pray for all four.

For MKs everywhere

I love MKs. Growing up cross culturally is an amazing experience. I would not exchange it or anything. This video is for MKs everywhere!

For MKs everywhere

Neither Christians nor LGBT individuals should be punished or fired for their lifestyle.

See this column in USA today by an evangelical pastor

Neither Christians nor LGBT individuals should be punished or fired for their lifestyle.

Why defensiveness can be deadly

Defensiveness seems to be common among ministry leaders. I believe that this is because it is very difficult for them to separate themselves from their ministry and therefor any perceived disagreement with something in the ministry is seen as a personal attack against them. Whatever the reason for defensiveness, it can have deadly consequences.

Defensive behavior can take many forms. It can be anger, the shutting down of discussion, using one's authority to intimidate staff, communicating by body language that one is unhappy that a topic has been broached, marginalizing people who disagree with them. All of us are guilty of it from time to time but healthy individuals work hard to live non-defensively with a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude.

Why is defensiveness so unhealthy?

First, it comes from our own dishealth or poor EQ. Not once in the gospels do you see Jesus defensive no matter what the pharisees goaded Him with - and they tried hard! He listened to them, He was rarely reactive and when He was it was never without a purpose (driving the moneylenders from the temple). He often responded to the goading of the Pharisees with a question. On the other hand the Pharisees were continually displaying defensive attitudes. 

Defensiveness is part of our sinful nature and the need to prove something or to be right or to keep our pride. It is really self righteousness. Non-defensiveness, on the other hand is not worried about any of those things. It comes from a healthy place that is self-defined but not needing to prove anything. For healthy people, life is a journey toward not needing to prove things to others. We are OK with their opinions because we are OK with ourselves and our positions. 

Second, defensiveness hurts relationships. For those of us who are married, think of how damaging some of our conflict with our spouses has been because neither of us was willing to admit fault or give on our position! Defensiveness pushes others away while non-defensiveness invites them into relationship. 

Third, defensiveness hurts us. Usually we are defensive over something because we don't want to be challenged, and know that there is some truth in what is being said. Why would we be defensive if there is not some truth involved?  If we listened and asked some questions it might be that we would learn something. We have everything to gain by listening and nothing to lose. 

Again, I would look to the example of Jesus in the Gospels and the Fruit of His Spirit and ask whether defensiveness should be part of our lives. 

For those who need to proof-text all truth from Scripture

OK, so I will make some unhappy on this one. While all Scripture is truth, not all truth is found in Scripture! Don't get me wrong, Scripture is the final revelation of God until He returns and we realize His personal presence for eternity. The Scriptures give us what we need to understand God, ourselves, salvation and what it means to be transformed into His image. It is not, however, designed to prove all things. While you can reference many things back to Scripture (like theology), it was never meant to be the proof text for all things.

I am bemused by those who desire a verse to "prove" all things. Without the verse, some will reject any proposal related to the church or the Christian life. That is frankly an unnecessary exercise in many cases. Ironically, those who need a text for all issues often misuse that text. 

But there is another issue. The Scriptures talk a great deal about wisdom. In fact, one could argue that wisdom is the central theme of the book of Proverbs. What is wisdom? It is the application of intelligence, common sense, shrewdness, astuteness, judiciousness, judgement, prudence and circumspection to issues at hand. For the believer, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom for it informs all of our decisions but life and leadership is full of issues where we must apply our common sense, intelligence and wisdom to the issue at hand.

God gave us minds to think. He did not give us a manual to look up all situations in the Bible. In most cases, we must make appropriate applications to the issues at hand. 

In a recent blog I suggested that the New Testament gives us implicit and explicit suggestions as to who makes for a good leader in the church.

An anonymous reader left this message: "Perhaps you could add some biblical support to this article, so we know how you arrived at your conclusions, eg. A verse for each leader qualification. Thanks!"

I answered: "With respect, it is not necessary to find a proof text for each of these. For instance it is self evident that an individual who is not passionate about Jesus cannot draw others to him. It is self evident that a leader must love people as Jesus loved people. It is self evident that humility is a requirement as that is the heart of Jesus and in a team setting one must submit themselves to the will of the majority (speaking of healthy church leaders)."

Anonymous replied: "TJ, how do you know that that these things of which you write are self-evident?"

Evidently if there is not a verse this individual won't buy it. I don't get that. What I do get is applying good thinking to good theology and coming up with good practices.