The Church: Helping people grow up

Here is an interesting concept: The church is a place where we help people grow up! We have a Father and the Father wants us to grow up in Him from kids to maturity. Jesus accepts us for who we are but wants us to become like who He is. Maturity is the goal according to Paul in Ephesians 4. 

Think about some of the implications of this. Many people expect the church to be the source of their spiritual growth. That is the perspective of immaturity. Growing up means that I take responsibility for my spiritual life and don't outsource it to others.

How many congregations deal with petty conflicts? Growing up means that we treat one another with honor and dignity, allow others to think differently than ourselves and living in peace rather than in conflict.

Many leadership groups in the local church find it hard to agree to corporate decisions. We want our way like toddlers who won't let others play with their toys. Growing up means that we have respectful discussion, make corporate decisions and agree to live by them.

Often our congregations think that the church is primarily for their benefit. Growing up means that we choose to live like Jesus and reach out to those who are not yet in the church. If the church is about me I am living from immature selfishness. If the church is about others who need to hear the Good News I am living in maturity and generosity.

Growing up is a great metaphor for what the church is about and what the Christian life is about. Where do you (and I) need to grow up? Where does our congregation need to grow up? 

Moving from illusion to reality

Many churches and other Christian ministries (along with their staff and boards) live in illusion. Their illusion is that all is well, that they are making disciples, that they are seeing significant new fruit or that they are a healthy church. It is often illusion because it is what they desire to believe about themselves but it is often not the true reality.

Why live in illusion? It is a comfortable place to be as it allows us to believe that we are doing well. And we all want to do well. But, without a specific plan in any important ministry area we cannot move our ministry from illusion to reality. Getting to reality requires a plan, intentionality and the ability to measure the result. 

Let's take disciplemaking. Very few churches if asked have an intentional disciplemaking process. Even fewer have built disciplemaking into the very fabric of who they are so that it touches everything they do and everyone who is involved. And finally it is a rarer thing still to have a way of measuring the results of these efforts. Yet, without these kinds of steps the church is living in the illusion that they are doing well.

Here is an interesting exercise. Have you staff or board list the most important issues that you believe the church ought to be doing well in from a scriptural point of view. Then ask these simple questions:

• Do we have a real plan?
• Do we have a description of what we are after?
• Are we being intentional?
• Can we measure the result?
• How are we really doing?
• Based on the above are we living in illusion or reality?

These questions can be applied in the local church, on the mission field and in any Christian ministry. Of course the only individuals who will ask the questions are those who desire to live in reality rather than illusion.

(Written today from Berlin, Germany)

The greatest failure and greatest opportunity of the church today

The western church is good at many things: Facilities; trained staff; worship experiences; programming and good preaching. From an external perspective it is in many cases impressive. However, our focus on all these good things comes at the expense of the one most central and important thing which is that of disciplemaking. It is both the greatest failure and greatest opportunity of the church today.

Why the greatest failure? Because only deeply committed disciples of Christ will make a difference in our world for Him. It is those individuals who live out their faith in their family, workplace and in the circles in which they have influence. Much of what passes for Christianity is more window dressing than it is a committed followership where people understand and live out grace, allow their thinking to be brought into alignment with Scripture, align their priorities with those of Christ and see people as Jesus sees them and love them as He loves them.

Furthermore we have substituted life on life influence and impact for classes and intellectual knowledge which is not the route to lifestyle change nor the model given us by Jesus and Paul. Disciplemaking is simply another program in our church (an app) rather than the heart of all that we do (the operating system). And if one examines the typical commitments of the typical "Christian" we see that it is not an effective model. It may train people in certain behaviors but it does not lead to significant life transformation.

Why the greatest opportunity? Because there is nothing more powerful than men and women who have given Jesus everything and want to please Him and represent Him in all that they do. These are world changers. They are world changers empowered by the Holy Spirit who are powerful change agents precisely because of their followership of Jesus. 

How did they become what they became? Usually not because of a church with great preaching or programs (although I appreciate both). Rather, because like Jesus with His disciples, someone took them alongside them and either formally or informally deeply influenced their life and priorities toward those of Jesus. Not a set of rules but a way of life. Not to become like them but to become like Jesus. Not through a program but through a process - a journey of becoming more like Jesus.

Disciple making, if it is going to be effective must move:
From a program to a process
From the class room to life on life
From one size fits all to customized
From optional to an expectation
From clergy led to everyone's involvement
From intellectual knowledge to life transformation and application
From being discipled to also being a disciplemaker
From "listen to me" to "do with me"

Remember, it is disciples in a Jesus sense who change the world!

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

The path to legacy - it may not be what you think it is

Leader often pursue the wrong path when it comes to leaving a legacy. Often for Christian leaders it is building some ministry or enterprise and all of our energy, time and focus goes into that pursuit. As one who leads I know that temptation to do this. Certainly we want what we lead to be healthy, transformational and missional, making a difference in our world. However, I am convinced that even these great efforts are not the path to legacy, to making a multi-generational difference into the future.

That path, the legacy path is far more about lives we have deeply impacted who in turn deeply impact other lives in an ever widening disciplemaking group. Think about this: Jesus could have started an institution, but He did not. He changed the world by discipling twelve guys who in turn discipled others and they others and the world was changed. Paul did the same. Sure he started churches, the Bride of Jesus because these should be the training ground of disciples but he personally invested in men like Timothy and Titus and others (2 Timothy 2:2) who did the same.

It is time to reclaim the Great Commission which says, "Go and make disciples of all nations." That is, multiply men and women who are deeply committed, all-in followers of Jesus who rather than focusing primarily on institutions, focus on life on life transformation of others who will in turn do the same. This is the great need in the church today and it is the great need if the Gospel is actually going to penetrate our communities. 

I have led a church, a mission agency, and various other ministries but I firmly believe these are not my legacy. My legacy will be my two kids and grand kids following Jesus with all their hearts and the individuals whom I have poured my life into over the years, those upon whom I have had deep influence. They in turn have and will have deep influence on others and the circle of fully devoted, all in disciples, will continue to grow - long after my name is forgotten by everyone except maybe for a few dusty books sitting on shelves.

I spend a lot of time mentoring and coaching people who will in turn do the same with others. Some are in my tribe (denomination), many are not. For Jesus there is only His tribe. Don't be fooled about what you leave behind. The path to legacy is often counter intuitive. It is not institutions but people both within those institutions and outside. If you want a legacy, be sure you are investing in the right place.

One last thing. One does not have to be a leader to have this kind of legacy. In fact, there are far more non-leaders who understand this principle than leaders who are too busy building something. Every Christ follower is called to make disciples and in doing so those who do have far more influence than many leaders do.

When I ask people who was the most influential man in the New Testament other than Jesus the answer is often Paul. Actually I disagree. I believe it was Barnabas who discipled Paul intensely for a period of years. Barnabas understood the model of Jesus and because he invested in Paul, the greatest theologian of the Scriptures was developed. Something to think about!

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Helping others become all that they can be

One of the fallacies of spiritual formation and spiritual mentoring is that if we can convince individuals to follow a specific set of disciplines that they will become everything God wants them to be. This thinking ignores a number of core principles:

It ignores the fact that each one of us is absolutely unique. As unique individuals we relate to God individually and differently, we learn and grow differently, and we are at different places in our spiritual lives so no one program or set of disciplines or formula is going to help everyone grow spiritually. In Ephesians 2:9-10, Paul calls us God's workmanship or literally, God's work of art - each unique, each special, each a creation of God.

Growing up in Asia I had my own personal "chop." It is my name in Chinese engraved by hand in a piece of soap stone. The cool thing about chops is that each one is unique and even though some of the Chinese characters may be the same, since they are carved by hand, no one is the same. That is true for each of our personalities, God given wiring, the place we are spiritually and the next place we need to go in our relationship with Christ.

This has implications for those of us who preach! We can give people specific instructions as to how they should relate to God or we can give Biblical principles and encourage people to apply them to their lives in ways that work for them.

For years my dad rose at 4:00am in the morning for his devotions. That is great but it does not work for everyone! Some love to journal (I do) but for many it never really works and is a chore, not a pleasure. Some can spend long periods in prayer, others cannot and when they try they end up discouraged and feeling guilty.

But even these practices miss an important part of spiritual formation. It is possible to do all the things one is supposed to do and still not live a transformed life. Practices by themselves do not translate into transformation.

I remember an elder in a church I pastored who was as legalistic as anyone about the Christian life yet he left his wife because she didn't make him happy?  He had the practices down (and was ready to impose those practices on others) but his heart was untransformed and hard. Nor would he listen to those who tried to reason with him. All of us have stories like that.

Transformation means that we are regularly becoming more like Jesus in our relationships, our intellect, our experiences, the desires of our hearts, in the shedding of those elements of our lower nature and the embracing of the fruit of the spirit.

Helping people get to transformation is the key to spiritual formation or mentoring. The place to start is where people are and not where we think they should be. I am always amazed at how impatient we can be with people - and how patient God is with us.

One way to find out where people are at is to explore the areas of difficulty or unhappiness in their lives which is often an indication of where they are "itching" and looking for solutions. The Holy Spirit has a gracious way of getting our attention through difficulty and unhappiness.

I think for instance of the many couples who are struggling with their finances today and looking for solutions. Helping them understand Biblical principles for finances is obviously a part of spiritual transformation and it is the place where they are looking for solutions today. So that is a great place to start and as they see God's transformation in their financial life they become open to His transformation in other areas of life. We start where people are open, and looking for solutions. That is exactly what Jesus did with the people he came into contact with.

I think that one of the barriers in spiritual growth is that we often believe that those teaching us, mentoring us or preaching to us want us to become a version of them. It is easy to extrapolate that since we are "mature" that others will be mature when they look like "us."

The truth is that God wants us to look like the best version of us that we can be through the transformation of our hearts and lives - not like someone else. God made us unique. Now he wants to infuse our uniqueness with His Spirit and make us supernaturally unique. A better, supernaturally changed version of who He already made us to be. That is the end goal of transformation because it infuses our uniqueness with His Spirit, character, mind, and passions. We become like Him but remain like us as the "work of art" he created us to be.

The armed services says, "Become all that you can be!" Jesus says, "become all that I made you to be." That is our challenge to others as we help them to grow spiritually.

Either we disciple our kids or society will do it for us

Our investment in discipling our kids is one of the most important things that parents do. The sobering truth is that if we don't make the investment, society will disciple them for us - and that is a scary thought.

What does it mean to disciple our kids? First it means that we model for them what a sold out lifestyle for Jesus looks like: living in grace and extending it to others, thinking like Jesus thinks, aligning our priorities with His and seeing people as He sees them and loving them as He loves them. No son or daughter will miss the point when they see their parents living out a Jesus life.

I also believe that the daily interaction with kids is critical, especially when we are able to relate every day issues to a Jesus lifestyle. This is not about rules or legalism. It is about helping our kids understand that there is no part of life where our commitment to Jesus does not touch. For us, these conversations took place regularly at our dinner table where all kinds of issues were freely discussed and whether serious or humorous matters of faith and life were integrated.

As our kids get older, what about asking them if they would like to be involved in a more intentional discipleship process with their parents. Allow them to pick the materials and then meet, discuss, study and pray. Keep it separate from parenting. This is life on life seeking to understand how God relates to us and how we relate to Him. Many kids will jump at the opportunity.

However you do it, remember that if we don't disciple our kids, society will do it for us. That particular outsourcing is the cause of generations of kids leaving their faith and it is very sad. We want to leave an intentional spiritual legacy with our kids.  

Apps and operating systems: Why disciplemaking programs often fail in the church

We all know the mandate of Jesus to go and make disciples. We also know that in general the church has done a poor job of helping people become genuine followers of Jesus. We are great at acculturating people into our evangelical subcultures but not so great in seeing real life transformation take place that looks like what Jesus and the New Testament describes.

I define a disciple as one who understands grace and extends it to others, who thinks like Jesus thinks and then aligns his/her priorities with those of Him and who see people as He sees them and loves them as He loves them. It is transformation of hearts, minds, lifestyle and relationships.

The question is, why does this not happen more often? We have to acknowledge that transformation is not easy and is always a work of the Holy Spirit with our cooperation. Life toward Jesus is a journey of a lifetime.

However, I believe there is another issue that short circuits the process. As people who have a program for everything we often design programs for disciplemaking - like an App that we download for our I Pad or cell phone. Then we ask people to buy the App (get involved) and put them through our process hoping they will come out the other side a better disciple.

The problem is that disciplemaking can never be related to an App or program. Rather it must be built into the fabric of our operating system as a church. Everything we do should be intentionally designed to help people move toward transformation of heart, mind, lifestyle and relationships. No ministry is exempt. No program can make disciples but the church can if it is woven into everything we do.

Ask yourself this question. What are the specific ways that everything you do in the church is designed to make true disciples? Do you believe that your design is working well and can you point to tangible results? Would you describe your strategy as more of an App or more of an operating system? Finally, would your people know how you define a mature disciple?