I talk to a lot of people who want more. More impact, more influence, more opportunity to make an impact for the kingdom. Many of them are in their fifties and have been there and done that. They are professionals, in the trades and in ministry and they long for more. More is something they should consider! And it may be in full time missions. Don't be shy - take a chance with Jesus and ask if this is an option for you.
Don't get me wrong. There is no first bench and second bench in the economy of Jesus. There is nothing more spiritual about full time missions than being in one's lane in their own country. God uses all of us for extraordinary things if we are available to Him.
But....there are many who long for more. And the opportunities to bring Christ to the nations is an amazing opportunity and unlike the past, mission agencies can use anyone with a skill along with good personal, emotional and relational health. It is ordinary people reaching ordinary people for extraordinary results. We live in a world that is deeply thirsty for answers to life. And, the response to the Gospel in many parts of the world is amazing. In other settings it his about planting the seeds for future response.
I can speak for ReachGlobal that we are actively looking for both leaders and staff who have a heart for the global gospel. If you email me at tim.addington@efca.org I will put you in touch with someone who can explore the options with you. Or, contact the mission that you are familiar with. At the least, explore how you can make a difference in our needy world.
Posted from Oakdale, MN
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Managing anxiety in our leadership roles and saving us from ourselves
On a regular basis, leaders are confronted with situations that cause anxiety. How we learn (and it is learned) to handle that anxiety is one of the key factors in how well we will lead over the long haul. Those who don't handle anxiety well will sabotage their leadership either through emotional responses that are inappropriate or through inner turmoil that eats at their gut - and often both. It is one of the reasons some very bright people choose not to lead. When someone says, "It's not worth the hassle," what they are often saying is that "I don't have the tools to manage the anxiety that comes with leadership."
Anxiety is the uncertainty that comes from any number of situations leaders face. It can be conflict within the team that needs to be resolved, actions or words of a team member that we assume are disloyal to us, seemingly dumb things that someone may have done or situations we just don't know how to confront. I can think of a long list of people and situations that caused me anxiety as a leader, especially as a young leader. That anxiety, however, must be managed if we are to act with discernment and wisdom rather than with an emotional, angry or knee-jerk response.
How do we manage our emotions in these situations and save ourselves from ourselves? Here are some suggestions:
One: Don't act precipitously. Acting out of our initial response will usually exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it.
Two: Manage your anxiety - it is wasted energy. I often simply visualize a drawer in my mind where I place those things causing me anxiety and lock it until it is time to deal with the issue.
Three: Don't assume you have all the facts. This is why time is on your side. Often when acting out of emotion we are also acting out of factual ignorance. Getting the whole story often puts things into perspective.
Four: Don't assume ill motives. When we get all the facts we often discover that the motives of others were not poor whether what they did was wise or not.
Five: Consult with a trusted colleague to get a different perspective on the issue and ensure that you are taking a wise course to address it.
Six: Think through how you want to approach the issue with the individual(s) involved for the most positive outcome. This takes time. Don't address it until you have a plan for your approach.
Seven: Have a conversation with the individual(s) involved. A conversation is different than an attack. Often in talking the situation out we come to understanding and mutually agreeable solutions.
Eight: Consider what everyone can learn from the situation. In other words, assigning blame is often not as healthy as just seeing what lessons can be learned moving forward.
Nine: It goes without saying for Christian leaders that asking for God's wisdom in the situation is critical.
Posted from Oakdale, MN
For more help in understanding emotions in leadership, my new book Deep Influence deals with this in greater depth.
Anxiety is the uncertainty that comes from any number of situations leaders face. It can be conflict within the team that needs to be resolved, actions or words of a team member that we assume are disloyal to us, seemingly dumb things that someone may have done or situations we just don't know how to confront. I can think of a long list of people and situations that caused me anxiety as a leader, especially as a young leader. That anxiety, however, must be managed if we are to act with discernment and wisdom rather than with an emotional, angry or knee-jerk response.
How do we manage our emotions in these situations and save ourselves from ourselves? Here are some suggestions:
One: Don't act precipitously. Acting out of our initial response will usually exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it.
Two: Manage your anxiety - it is wasted energy. I often simply visualize a drawer in my mind where I place those things causing me anxiety and lock it until it is time to deal with the issue.
Three: Don't assume you have all the facts. This is why time is on your side. Often when acting out of emotion we are also acting out of factual ignorance. Getting the whole story often puts things into perspective.
Four: Don't assume ill motives. When we get all the facts we often discover that the motives of others were not poor whether what they did was wise or not.
Five: Consult with a trusted colleague to get a different perspective on the issue and ensure that you are taking a wise course to address it.
Six: Think through how you want to approach the issue with the individual(s) involved for the most positive outcome. This takes time. Don't address it until you have a plan for your approach.
Seven: Have a conversation with the individual(s) involved. A conversation is different than an attack. Often in talking the situation out we come to understanding and mutually agreeable solutions.
Eight: Consider what everyone can learn from the situation. In other words, assigning blame is often not as healthy as just seeing what lessons can be learned moving forward.
Nine: It goes without saying for Christian leaders that asking for God's wisdom in the situation is critical.
Posted from Oakdale, MN
For more help in understanding emotions in leadership, my new book Deep Influence deals with this in greater depth.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
How much narcissism do we live with?
We would probably be surprised if we understood God's perspective on our narcissistic tendencies. All of us have them even though we would never want to be labeled a narcissist in the clinical sense of the term. Synonyms include vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-centeredness, self-regard, egotism and egoism. The common theme is that it is all about "me" and "self." In its extreme form this presents itself as a clinical dysfunction. You probably know someone who displays these characteristics in an extreme form.
At a more subtle level, however, narcissism is something that dogs many of us and we might never notice it. Is my drive to succeed in ministry really about me (self-absorption) or about God? Is our tendency to hold on to material things with a tight hand (often being stingy with God and others about self-centeredness and fear of not having enough or about generosity and an open hand? Does our desire or need for the applause of others, fancy titles, or authority reflect Jesus or our own egotism? Even overconfidence in our decisions can reflect a significant level of narcissism which is why supremely confident leaders rarely listen to the advice or push back of others.
On the part of leaders, here are some of the behaviors that reflect a level of narcissism.
Posted from Grand Rapids, MI
At a more subtle level, however, narcissism is something that dogs many of us and we might never notice it. Is my drive to succeed in ministry really about me (self-absorption) or about God? Is our tendency to hold on to material things with a tight hand (often being stingy with God and others about self-centeredness and fear of not having enough or about generosity and an open hand? Does our desire or need for the applause of others, fancy titles, or authority reflect Jesus or our own egotism? Even overconfidence in our decisions can reflect a significant level of narcissism which is why supremely confident leaders rarely listen to the advice or push back of others.
On the part of leaders, here are some of the behaviors that reflect a level of narcissism.
- Taking credit for work performed by others
- Needing the limelight
- Not listening to the input of others
- Needing to get one's way
- Supreme confidence in all decisions
- A need to be at the center of attention
- Being stingy on thank you's and platforming others
- Insecurity with staff who are better at something than themselves
- Poor treatment of others
- A critical spirit
- Using others for our own agendas
- Defensiveness
- Focus on ourselves and our issues to the exclusion of the needs of others.
- Quick anger when things don't go our own way
- Being jealous of the success of others
- Needing to be in charge
- Not apologizing for failures
Posted from Grand Rapids, MI
Monday, May 4, 2015
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Encouragement and leadership lessons from Winston Churchill for pastors
I am a huge fan of Winston Churchill and have read dozens of books on him. There a great number of leadership lessons that can be learned from his life, good and bad so I was captivated by the following article on the lessons of his life for ministry leaders. If you are a pastor (or any leader) this article will encourage you. From ChurchPastor.com.
5 Lessons Pastors Should Learn from Winston Churchill
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Ten ways pastors and congregations irritate one another in serious ways
Pastors and congregations always have issues with one another, at least among certain individuals. Having worked extensively with both sets (including church leaders as congregants) I would suggest that the following set of five irritants for each party are worth thinking through. It might also make for a robust board/pastor discussion. These irritants may be real or perceptions but either way they are real to those who experience them.
Five ways pastors irritate congregants:
One: Defensiveness. Many congregants or church leaders feel that when they address concerns with their pastor that the response is not a healthy open dialogue but defensiveness as the pastor may take the concern as an attack or criticism of him rather than a suggestion or observation for the ministry. I have seen long term members leave their church (with sadness) because they did not feel as if their senior pastor took their concerns seriously, or even cared they were there. We all know that not all concerns can be addressed but defensiveness or lack of concern causes great irritation on the part of congregants.
Two: Personal agendas. Congregants and church leaders all have a vested stake in what happens in the ministry of the church. When they sense that their senior leader has his own agenda which they feel he is imposing on the congregation without process, feedback or buy in it is deeply discouraging. Yet it is not an uncommon issue, especially as new pastors come in with their dreams and hopes and philosophy without taking into account the dreams, hopes and history of the congregation.
Three: Dismissiveness of the past. New pastors (especially) often talk and act as if all things good started with their tenure and ignore or dismiss the prior history of the congregation. All of us who lead stand on the shoulders of others and it is irritating and discouraging for congregations to hear from their senior leader all of the faults of the church and how he is going to make the church what it needs to be. Of course churches need to change and sometimes it is radical change that is needed but wisdom places diplomacy and graciousness at the top of the list rather than criticizing the past. Ignoring history is always disempowering because it ignores the very individuals who made the church what it is today.
Four: The inability to disagree with people and still stay connected to them. Way too many senior leaders see people as either "for them" or "against them" based on whether they agree or disagree with one another. This reflects bad Emotional Intelligence and poor relational skills. Once this happens, many good people find that they are no longer listened to or even appreciated. It is painful for a faithful leader to be marginalized simply because he/she has disagreed with the senior leader who cannot live with that disagreement and stay connected relationally.
Five: Introducing changes too quickly and without proper process. Most people are change resistant which means that if change is needed (and it often is) a process must be run with those impacted by the change to bring them along, answer their questions and calm their concerns. Many senior leaders are highly deficient at the change process and the lack of process produces anger and disenchantment in the congregation. Pastors often then demonize those who they feel are resistant when the resistance was actually a result of their own lack of process in the changes they brought.
Five ways congregations irritate pastors
One: Pettiness. When working with churches in conflict I am always amazed at how petty many of the issues people want to talk about are. Choices a pastor and their spouse make in their lifestyles or the fact that they don't do what the last pastor or spouse did or something said in the pulpit - there is no end to the pettiness that some parishioners can have and are willing to make their opinions known, sometimes widely.
Two: Unwillingness to change in the face of evidence that it is deeply needed. Admittedly, this is often a matter of the skill of a senior leader to negotiate needed changes but there are plenty of congregations who have resisted change leading to three or four pastors facing the same issues in the church and leaving in discouragement. Congregations that resist needed changes will eventually die and it can be deeply frustrating to healthy leaders who are doing their best to bring health to the congregation.
Three: An inward focus rather than an outward focus. Healthy leaders will never settle for an internal focus when the community around them is absent a relationship with Jesus. Yet many churches are inward focused and see few people coming to faith in Christ. There may well be growth but in many instances it is simply transfer growth. Healthy leaders want both new life in Christ and life transformation. When they are kept from moving in this direction it is disempowering and frustrating and I have to believe to God as well.
Four: A divided board that is unwilling to police its own members. Hardly a week goes by that I don't get a call or an email from a pastor (or board member) about a dysfunctional board that will not police its members. What is left is often a divided board that literally accomplishes nothing of significance. It's mission has been hijacked by its ongoing dysfunctionality and the pastor is often a hostage to that stagnant leadership group. Pastors are dependent on a healthy board for healthy leadership and ministry. When boards won't police their own there is little a pastor can do.
Five: A stingy congregation or board. Pastoring a local church is one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. You have as many bosses as you have congregants, you have people who feel free to say the most inappropriate things, you must accept all who come, there are constant crises in the lives of people and you get to preach each or almost every Sunday. No pastor goes into ministry for the material benefits but congregations show their appreciation by being generous and their lack of appreciation by being stingy. I have seen many examples of both but the latter sends a powerful message of a lack of appreciation to their pastor.
A great response to this blog would be a candid conversation between a board and their pastor. Both might learn something of significance.
Posted from Phoenix, AZ
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Five ways pastors irritate congregants:
One: Defensiveness. Many congregants or church leaders feel that when they address concerns with their pastor that the response is not a healthy open dialogue but defensiveness as the pastor may take the concern as an attack or criticism of him rather than a suggestion or observation for the ministry. I have seen long term members leave their church (with sadness) because they did not feel as if their senior pastor took their concerns seriously, or even cared they were there. We all know that not all concerns can be addressed but defensiveness or lack of concern causes great irritation on the part of congregants.
Two: Personal agendas. Congregants and church leaders all have a vested stake in what happens in the ministry of the church. When they sense that their senior leader has his own agenda which they feel he is imposing on the congregation without process, feedback or buy in it is deeply discouraging. Yet it is not an uncommon issue, especially as new pastors come in with their dreams and hopes and philosophy without taking into account the dreams, hopes and history of the congregation.
Three: Dismissiveness of the past. New pastors (especially) often talk and act as if all things good started with their tenure and ignore or dismiss the prior history of the congregation. All of us who lead stand on the shoulders of others and it is irritating and discouraging for congregations to hear from their senior leader all of the faults of the church and how he is going to make the church what it needs to be. Of course churches need to change and sometimes it is radical change that is needed but wisdom places diplomacy and graciousness at the top of the list rather than criticizing the past. Ignoring history is always disempowering because it ignores the very individuals who made the church what it is today.
Four: The inability to disagree with people and still stay connected to them. Way too many senior leaders see people as either "for them" or "against them" based on whether they agree or disagree with one another. This reflects bad Emotional Intelligence and poor relational skills. Once this happens, many good people find that they are no longer listened to or even appreciated. It is painful for a faithful leader to be marginalized simply because he/she has disagreed with the senior leader who cannot live with that disagreement and stay connected relationally.
Five: Introducing changes too quickly and without proper process. Most people are change resistant which means that if change is needed (and it often is) a process must be run with those impacted by the change to bring them along, answer their questions and calm their concerns. Many senior leaders are highly deficient at the change process and the lack of process produces anger and disenchantment in the congregation. Pastors often then demonize those who they feel are resistant when the resistance was actually a result of their own lack of process in the changes they brought.
Five ways congregations irritate pastors
One: Pettiness. When working with churches in conflict I am always amazed at how petty many of the issues people want to talk about are. Choices a pastor and their spouse make in their lifestyles or the fact that they don't do what the last pastor or spouse did or something said in the pulpit - there is no end to the pettiness that some parishioners can have and are willing to make their opinions known, sometimes widely.
Two: Unwillingness to change in the face of evidence that it is deeply needed. Admittedly, this is often a matter of the skill of a senior leader to negotiate needed changes but there are plenty of congregations who have resisted change leading to three or four pastors facing the same issues in the church and leaving in discouragement. Congregations that resist needed changes will eventually die and it can be deeply frustrating to healthy leaders who are doing their best to bring health to the congregation.
Three: An inward focus rather than an outward focus. Healthy leaders will never settle for an internal focus when the community around them is absent a relationship with Jesus. Yet many churches are inward focused and see few people coming to faith in Christ. There may well be growth but in many instances it is simply transfer growth. Healthy leaders want both new life in Christ and life transformation. When they are kept from moving in this direction it is disempowering and frustrating and I have to believe to God as well.
Four: A divided board that is unwilling to police its own members. Hardly a week goes by that I don't get a call or an email from a pastor (or board member) about a dysfunctional board that will not police its members. What is left is often a divided board that literally accomplishes nothing of significance. It's mission has been hijacked by its ongoing dysfunctionality and the pastor is often a hostage to that stagnant leadership group. Pastors are dependent on a healthy board for healthy leadership and ministry. When boards won't police their own there is little a pastor can do.
Five: A stingy congregation or board. Pastoring a local church is one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. You have as many bosses as you have congregants, you have people who feel free to say the most inappropriate things, you must accept all who come, there are constant crises in the lives of people and you get to preach each or almost every Sunday. No pastor goes into ministry for the material benefits but congregations show their appreciation by being generous and their lack of appreciation by being stingy. I have seen many examples of both but the latter sends a powerful message of a lack of appreciation to their pastor.
A great response to this blog would be a candid conversation between a board and their pastor. Both might learn something of significance.
Posted from Phoenix, AZ
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
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