A tale of the dwindling population of Christians in the Middle East (From The New York Times)

‘Now There Is No One’: The Lament of One of the Last Christians in a Syrian City

Michel Butros al-Jisri is among the few Christians left from a once-vibrant community in Idlib on the brink of disappearing. The city, in the only territory in Syria still controlled by rebels, is ruled by Islamists.

Fifteen behaviors that contribute to good leadership

 

There are some life-giving behaviors that good leaders engage in and live by. It sets them apart from other leaders, gives them great credibility, and earns them the loyalty of their staff. It is also what makes their ministry or team successful. I say life-giving because they give life to people and to the mission of the team or organization.

One: Good leaders never make it about themselves. They have the humility to understand that their leadership is about the mission they have been given and that they are stewards of that mission. Healthy leaders keep the focus on the mission rather than on themselves. While relationships are critical, the best glue is missional glue.

Two: Good leaders build a great team. Many leaders hire people who will do what they tell them. The best leaders hire people who they can empower within boundaries and release them. They empower instead of control and are not afraid of staff whose skills exceed their own. In fact, they intentionally look for better people than they are in the areas they lead.

Three: Good leaders do not take credit for success. They give it to the whole team rather than take it themselves. They know that without God's empowerment and the team they work with, success would not happen. It is not about me but about us together. Staff are not always out front; they appreciate it when their leader platforms them.

Four: Good leaders don't blame others for failures. Bad things happen, and leaders know that they need to take responsibility if it happens on their watch. This sends a strong message that "my leader has my back." There may be private conversations, but there is no blame in public.

Five: Good leaders don't fail to address known issues. One of the things that gives leaders credibility with their staff is that they deal with issues even when they are hard. Issues not dealt with hurt staff, and the ministry and staff need their leader to step into the challenging places.

Six: Good leaders build a healthy life-giving staff culture. Healthy cultures have an ethos of candid conversation, collegial relationships, trust, lack of turf wars, shared mission, cooperation, and humility. 

Seven: Good leaders don't ask others to do what they don't do. They model the values and commitments of the organization, don't take advantage of their position, and lead the way by example.

Eight: Good leaders pay significant attention to their staff. Making time for staff, being available to them, removing barriers they face, and staying relationally connected are all factors in a healthy staff culture.

Nine: Good leaders keep the mission central all the time. Few things are more demoralizing than mission drift because it robs the organization and staff of a cause worth giving their lives for. One of the first jobs of all leaders is to keep the mission front and central with great clarity.'

Ten: Good leaders continually clarify what is essential. There is nothing more helpful to any team or organization than clarity. Ambiguity creates all kinds of questions, while clarity answers those questions. Leaders clarify all the time.

Eleven: Good leaders foster candid dialogue and a non-defensive spirit. It is wonderfully refreshing to meet leaders who encourage honest dialogue and are non-defensive when their ideas are challenged.

Twelve: Good leaders lead collaboratively rather than autocratically. Collaborative leadership beats autocratic leadership every time because there is greater intellectual capital at the table and greater buy-in. Few truly good staff will stay long-term without having a voice at the table.

Thirteen: Good leaders require high accountability but exercise low control. They set appropriate boundaries but give a great deal of empowerment. Nor do they insist that staff do things their way but encourage them to use their creativity and gifts.

Fourteen: Good leaders develop their staff and the next generation of leaders. It is life-giving when leaders are proactive in helping their staff grow. The ministry must develop the next generation of leaders.

Fifteen: Good leaders don't stay beyond their usefulness. There comes a time for leaders to move on, and it is better to move on when people want you to stay than leave when people want you to go.

Top global countries for Christian persecution

 

Afghanistan tops Open Doors watch list of worst countries for Christians

Across the globe, Open Doors found that there has been a 24% increase in Christians killed because of their faith.

Grace Killers to Avoid

 A culture of grace is often missing among God's people. And it is a big disconnect for those of us who represent the King of Grace - Jesus. I am talking about the ability and willingness to give one another the benefit of the doubt, accept that others are not perfect and are in need of grace and extending it even as we desire it to be extended to us.  

Here are seven common grace killers:

Critical spirits and sharp comments. When we allow ourselves to have critical spirits toward others we set ourselves above them in our attitude and demeanor. When we make sharp comments we compound our error and in essence demean others. Even when it is necessary to have a difficult conversation one can speak graciously with truth and ever conscious of our own issues. All of us live under God's grace which He extends daily. To follow Him is to extend that same grace to others. 

Playing the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others. Needing to fix other people's issues is far more about us than it is about them. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict each of us about areas in our lives that need renovation. Sure there are times when we need to talk to others about issues in their lives but we ought to do it with great care. I have found that praying for others is often a far better approach than trying to fix others. God is perfectly capable of getting anyone's attention but He does it with amazing mercy and love.

Expecting others to live by our own convictions. Believers have a wide variety of convictions and practices that fall into the grey zone between what God commands and what He leaves to our conscience. Each of us makes lifestyle choices in those areas where God has not spoken clearly. When we are critical of those who make different choices than we do we are imposing legalism on them and moving from grace to control. We are also again playing the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives. 

This extends to our theology. There are many points of theology - beyond the pillars of what it means to be evangelical that Christians differ on. When I insist that others slice and dice their theology they way I do I am arrogantly suggesting that I have a corner on truth and they do not. What is it in me that does not allow others to come to their own conclusions on issues that are not clear in Scripture? One day we will all stand before God and realize how little we actually knew of Him. Yet we are unable to be flexible with the convictions and practices of others.

Gossip and talking to others about issues rather than to the one we have an issue with. This is a huge grace killer and ubiquitous among God's people. Gossip is no different than writing a critical email and copying it to the world. Its ripples continue on and is a way to lift ourselves up by demeaning others. At its heart it is pure judgement and is from the Evil One rather than the One who gives life (John 10:10). Untold harm is caused to reputations and relationships when we engage in this grace killing behavior.

Assuming ill motives on the part of others. This is a grace killer because we are usually wrong (the motives were not poor) but our assumption about motives (as if we can know the heart of another) causes us to think poorly of them. Grace says that I will not assume the motivation of others because I cannot know it unless they tell me. Giving others the benefit of the doubt is about grace. Only God knows the heart.

Holding on to bitterness and choosing not to forgive. Lack of forgiveness and bitterness is at the root of a great deal of relational dysfunction and critical spirits. It not only kills grace in the relationship but in our own spirits that are poisoned by our refusal to forgive and let go. We become a prisoner of our own bitterness and the poison of that bitterness spreads to others around us. It is our choice to forgive or not to forgive but it is God's command that we do.

Lack of empathy and understanding. It is easy to become impatient and critical of others because we don't understand what they are dealing with in their own lives and we have not taken the time to find out. All of us live with either public or private pain from time to time and our lack of empathy for the issues others struggle with often cause us to be impatient and critical. The truth is that if we had to walk in their shoes we would probably  be struggling with some of the same things.

The Fruit of the Spirit is all about grace in our relationships. The fruit of our lower nature is not about grace but about us. In every relationship we have the choice of extending and living out the Grace God extends to us or conversely, choosing the selfish route of judgement and critical spirits. 

I would sum up the attributes of grace this way:

I will be slow to judge and criticize

I will be patient and forbearing with others

In my words and attitudes I will seek to encourage and lift up rather than discourage and tear down

I will not judge motives

I will forgive easily

I will allow the Holy Spirit to convict others rather than playing that role myself

I will be empathetic and understanding

I will seek to display the Fruit of the Spirit in all of my relationships and interactions

I will choose to assume the best

I will refrain from gossip

How to kill the passion of your staff

 Why do some ministry staff have a high and contagious level of passion for what they do, and others have low and noncontagious levels of passion?

Indeed, some of it concerns how individuals are wired personally. But, much of it has to do with the ministry environment in which they work - for environments and culture will either fuel or kill passion in those who work in them.

Passion killers are those things that will diminish rather than fuel ministry passion.

There is the passion killer of ambiguous missional purpose. Organizations that do not have a compelling reason for existence that everyone understands and shares will diminish rather than fuel passion for ministry. General ministry purpose yields general ministry efforts with general ministry results. A lack of focus and clear definition of what we are all about will generate little passion. No wonder such a high percentage of churches exist without much excitement or energy around them.

There is the passion killer of control and micromanagement. Good people want to be developed, empowered, and released rather than controlled or micromanaged. Control diminishes passion by devaluing people and saying, "I can't trust you to do your job by yourself." It disempowers, discourages, and diminishes enthusiasm for one's work over time. Leaders who control or micromanage, by definition, kill passion.

There is the passion killer of poor leadership. Leaders set the pace for the missional focus, health, level of energy and commitment, and the synergistic working of a team. Passion begins to diminish when leaders don't provide that kind of directional leadership and cohesion. Poor leadership yields poor followership, and teams rarely rise above their leader's passion, commitment, and example. For passion to remain high, it must start with the team leader.

There is the passion killer of living with the status quo rather than being willing to take a risk for ministry leverage. Organizations that will not take a risk diminish the passion of those who long to do something different to get greater ministry results. When the answer is "no," we don't do that here; passion leads to discouragement! Trying new things always fuels passion, while living safely does not. Safety over innovation kills passion!

There is the passion killer of unresolved conflict and lack of team cohesion. Teams, congregations, and organizations often live with high levels of negative stuff that is not resolved. Everyone knows it is present, but no one dares to face and fix it. Over time, that diminishes the passion of good people whose desire to see something happen for Christ is discouraged by the dis health they are surrounded by.

Then there is the passion killer of leaders who are coasting toward the end of their ministry life, who don't really know where to go anymore but are determined to hang on till the end, leaving staff without direction or real purpose. This is a real problem among pastors who have lost their ability to lead but don't know what to do next and simply hang on. They may be great people, but they are no longer leading, and their lack of leadership diminishes passion among those they should be leading.

There is also the passion killer of leaders who are more about building their own success and legacy than working as a team. These leaders may have narcissistic tendencies, and it is all about them. Their narcissism diminishes passion in others quickly as team members realize they are simply being used rather than part of a cohesive, unified ministry team. It is about the leader and not about the mission. Some very large organizations and churches suffer from this passion killer.

There is the passion killer of politics and turf wars. Politics kills passion because the energy of turf wars takes away from team spirit and common direction and pits groups against one another. It also fuels cynicism as good people wonder why their leaders put up with such silliness. 

Organizational culture and its leadership will either fuel or diminish passion. I would love to hear from readers about passion killers they have observed in their ministries.

Three gifts every supervisor can give to their staff

 

Leaders come bearing gifts to their staff. They set the culture of the organization in positive and sometimes negative ways. The best leaders create a culture of clarity, development and optimism that we can accomplish our mission. All three of these are positive gifts to the staff they lead.

The gift of clarity is helping everyone be crystal clear as to what we are about and what our focus needs to be. The more sharply we can articulate our direction and focus, the more our staff can in turn focus their work! Focused clarity within organizations is not as common as one might think because it requires an enormous and ongoing effort  by leadership to clarify their mission and an equally enormous effort to keep the organization focused on that mission. However, that clarity is a great gift to staff as they know what the goal is and where their energies need to be focused.

The focus part of the equation is perhaps the hardest because staff and teams must figure out on a quarterly basis how they prioritize their work and what will constitute a "win" for that quarter. Not all activity is of equal value. The most important activity is what we ought to be focused on and that is the value of quarterly win cycles for everyone in the organization.

The gift of staff development is an indication of whether leaders are generous in seeking to help staff grow and develop or selfish in simply using staff for their own purposes. Think about the various work roles you have had over the years and ask the question, "did I leave that role with greater skill and success because someone intentionally developed me or was I simply left to my own devices?" Leaders have a stewardship responsibility to help staff grow, flourish and to give them opportunity to use their gifts fully. This is a truly significant gift and staff never forget the gift.

This gift is both selfish and unselfish. Selfish in the sense that the ongoing development of staff will come back to bless the organization and its work. It also creates a deep sense of loyalty to the organization because it signals a high commitment to staff. It takes time and effort to develop staff and they appreciate it. 

The unselfish part of the equation is that such development may mean that your actually develop someone out of the organization. Their capacity grows and there may not be a place for their additional capacity in your organization but they will flourish elsewhere. Regardless of whether they stay or move on to higher levels of responsibility, you have given them the gift of growth and development. It is an unusual organization or leader who makes this a priority.

The gift of optimism is an attitude that together we can get our job done and accomplish our mission. A leader's optimism with their staff is critical in today's uncertain and competitive marketplaces. Optimism creates momentum while pessimism creates discouragement. Optimism married to a culture of teamwork and cooperation allows organizations to see results that no one could accomplish on their own. Regardless of whether a leader feels optimistic on any certain day, they give a gift to their staff when they choose to convey a positive attitude.

This is especially critical in times of stress and uncertainty as we have been walking through in the past several years. The attitude of the leader cascades down through the team or organization. Leaders who exude hope and optimism in spite of the circumstances create a place of energy and encouragement. Never underestimate the power of this gift.

Every leader can give these three gifts to their staff - if they value their staff enough to do it. 

De-escalating conflict through normalizing conversations

 Many things can introduce conflict or awkwardness into relationships: disagreements; words spoken; actions or even second hand conversations that come back to us. It can cause us to back away from a relationship, suspect that others don't have our best interests in mind and create an invisible wall between two individuals. It happens in families, among friends and in the workplace - anywhere we have key relationships.

This is where normalizing conversations come in. Rather than live with our perceptions or assumptions about where the other individual is coming from, or the awkwardness that has been introduced into the relationship, normalizing conversations can clarify and remove relational walls that have been created. It is a courageous decision we make to seek peace, come to clarity and understanding by candidly talking to another about the events that have transpired.

Unaddressed issues between individuals create walls and distance while discussing those issues can remove those walls and bring parties closer together. These conversations can prevent years of suspicion and misunderstanding from robbing people of relationship.

A normalizing conversation is very simple. It is taking the step to initiate a conversation in order to understand one another and remove the invisible wall that has been created by words, actions or assumptions. Choosing to initiate a conversation with another to clarify issues and create understanding  is a courageous and peacemaking practice. And too rare.

A normalizing conversation is not a confrontation but a conversation. It may or may not result in agreement but it can result in understanding. Because you have invited the other individual to be candid with you as you are with them, it removes future awkwardness in the relationship even if you did not come to agreement. It is simply a conversation to "normalize" what has become problematic.

The major barrier to such conversations is our own fear. In my experience, our fear is usually unfounded and we find the other party relieved to be able to lower the walls and understand each other. Even if the conversation is hard, it opens up the ability to communicate and creates greater understanding and that by definition almost always lowers the relational walls. It is about calming the relational waters.

When we resist such conversations because we are convinced we are right and others are wrong (and I have done that), we rob ourselves and those around us of the synergy that can come from peace and cooperation rather than conflict and a broken relationship. In fact, it does not matter if we were right or wrong. What does matters is that we work to the best of our ability to resolve unresolved issues. Relational discord has no upside but relational peace always does.

What is needed is a spirit of humility by both parties to seek to understand and be understood. In the end, it is usually our pride that keeps us from pressing in and seeking to resolve these matters. If you have a conflict that has resulted in a broken relationship, take the risk of a normalizing conversation.