Best Practice Board Behaviors

 We give each other grace

Boards debate ideas and options and must deal with difficult decisions. Without grace toward one another and each other's viewpoints, conflict can create animosity and relational issues. Grace allows us to wade in and speak truthfully in a context of peace.

We speak the truth as we understand it

Unless we share what is actually on our minds, issues cannot be properly discussed, and options are left unaddressed. Too many board members are unwilling to speak candidly in meetings and end up talking about the issues elsewhere or living with frustration. Grace allows candid dialogue. We are responsible for sharing the truth as we understand it.

We show patience toward one another especially when we disagree

Disagreements are inevitable on a board. In fact, if there was no disagreement, a board would not be necessary. It is in the confluence of opinions, options and ideas that the best decisions are made. But getting to those great ideas requires patience with one another.

We listen carefully

The best board members are those who listen carefully and thoughtfully to others. Wisdom cannot be mined without careful listening and evaluation. The best board members are those who thoughtfully listen. When they speak others tend to listen.

We meet without a personal agenda

Boards exist for the good of the organization and its mission. Decisions are not about us or getting our way. It is what is best for the organization and its mission. Board members who must have their own way hurt the work of the board and often the organization itself.

We take a humble posture

Humility is at the heart of all good leadership. Our leadership is not about us and we do not possess all wisdom. The best leadership comes from humble leaders and board members who believe that the best decisions are corporately made. Humble board members learn at each meeting. Prideful members are simply focused on their own agenda.

We engage in robust dialogue without hidden agendas or personal attacks

Robust dialogue is the coinage of good boards. The ability to speak truth, disagree, talk through issues and even be emotional or passionate about an issue. This is healthy with two caveats: No personal attacks - it is not about people but about the mission; and no hidden agendas but only honest dialogue.

Stupid Corporate Policies and Toxic Culture

 

I recently spoke with an individual who worked for a major Home Improvement store in Rockford, IL. He didn't look too happy so I asked him how his day had gone. Terrible he said. "I'm looking for a new job."

Here is what happened. He carries a walkie-talkie on his belt. Using the restroom, the walkie fell off and into the toilet making it inoperative. He was told that $200.00 would be taken out of his paycheck to pay for another. His supervisor told him that he was unable to do anything - it was policy. The store manager said, I don't like to do this but it is policy. 

He immediately went online to look for another job. When I spoke with him that night, he said he had an interview for the following day.

Think about this. The company valued the walkie-talkie more than they valued their employee who had significant experience in the lumber department. Just that day he had helped a customer design a large deck and sold the requisite materials.

The company just lost a valued employee. Consider the cost of finding and training a new individual compared to the cost of a walkie-talkie. 

Other employees and friends will develop an opinion about this company based on how it treats its people. It won't be a positive opinion.

Clearly, the store manager and the individual who supervised this employee are unempowered and were unable to intervene on his behalf. After all, it's corporate policy.

Why would anyone work for a company that values a $200 piece of equipment (damaged accidentally) over a good employee? Not me. I will not give the company my future business - knowing the story.

Organizational culture matters. So do your priorities. And, culture and policies always reflect those priorities. This was a classic case of stupid corporate policies and a toxic culture.

Ten Self Management Principles that will Impact your Leadership

 

Healthy leaders have learned the art of self-management, knowing who they are how they act and react, and the model they set directly impacts those who work under their leadership. There are ten critical self-management principles that all leaders should pay attention to.

Our Attitudes

Leaders do not have the luxury of being careless with their attitudes - toward people, situations, or life. One of the jobs of a leader is to inspire others toward healthy action, encourage the staff, and maintain a positive outlook on life, even when life is not cooperating. Their attitudes impact everyone around them.

Our Emotions

All of us have emotions. Leaders learn to manage their emotions so that their emotions do not cause them trouble. Think of how angry eruptions and words spoken in the heat of emotion cause harm to people. Leaders who cannot control their emotions cause uncertainty for their staff. It has been the downfall of many otherwise bright leaders.

Our Empathy

Without empathy, leaders are not seen as caring individuals but as cold and lacking concern. Some people have a lot of natural empathy. When that is not the case, leaders must cultivate the practice of empathy. Empathy is the key to healthy relationships, and relationships are the key to leadership.

Our Self Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to discern how we are perceived by others and how our actions, attitudes, and words impact others. Lack of self-awareness causes great misunderstanding and assumptions by others that we don't care. Leaders who are not naturally self-aware need coaching and feedback from others if they will lead successfully.

Our Focus

Focused leaders develop focused staff, while the opposite is also true. Good leaders hold themselves to a high standard of discipline in their work, including eliminating those things they should not do and focusing on the most strategic.

Our Empowerment

It is easy to control. It is harder to properly empower, but that is the key to a healthy team, and healthy leaders are rigorous in empowering others within boundaries to accomplish their work.

Our Boundaries

Boundaries are the things we do not allow in our behavior and in the behavior of others because it is hurtful to the culture we want to create. In effect, leaders set the boundaries for what is out of bounds within the organization or team.

Our Example

We lead most powerfully by example. When our stated commitments and examples are not in alignment, the result is cynicism. When they are in alignment, staff know that we are serious. Examples speak louder than words.

Our Humility

Everyone thinks they are humble, but that is the insidious nature of pride. Humility comes when we know our strengths are acutely and equally aware of our shadow side and our need for others. Humility is cultivated through time with God and a great deal of introspection.

Our Service

Few things speak louder than our commitment to serve those we lead and help them be all they can be. For leaders, life is not about us but about others and the mission that binds us together. The more we serve, the better leaders we become.

Each of these ten areas of a leader's life must be practiced intentionally for successful, healthy leadership.

A, B and C Team Members

 

Potential or current team members can be categorized as A, B, or C Team players. This is not about being a good or bad person but about being able to play well on your team.

A-team players are self-directed, highly competent, committed to the team, and hard-working. They are committed to your values and mission, require little management, and are results-oriented. A Team players have high EQs, work well with others, and have good self-awareness. They live and breathe the culture and the mission.

B-Team players are committed to the team, work hard, buy into your values and mission, are results-oriented, and have high EQ, but may require more direction. Generally, B-team players are less creative or entrepreneurial than A-team players, but given concrete direction, they will do their work diligently and faithfully.

C-Team players may or may not be competent (some are very competent and may even be  'stars'). But they have a fatal flaw that disqualifies them from serving on your team. Disqualifiers include lack of tangible results, laziness, lack of buy-in or adherence to your mission or values, low EQ that disrupts relationships on the team or elsewhere, inability to work productively as a team player, or immaturity requiring constant management. 

Let me say what many in the Christian world are unwilling to say: C Team players do not belong on our teams, no matter how 'nice' they are or how long they have been with you. To allow them to stay is to condemn the rest of the team to frustration and to compromise the organization's mission. Remember, we are using God's resources to further God's Kingdom. We are responsible to our donors, the Kingdom, and the organization's mission to ensure that we deliver on the mission.

The question one needs to ask about C-Team players is whether the fatal flaw can be dealt with so the individual can move from a C-Team player to a B-Team player. People operating at a C-Team level in terms of results are in the wrong job (wrong seat), so you may want to do some testing and try an alternate job if one is available. What is not wise is to leave an incompetent person in place. Your credibility as a leader will be legitimately tarnished with the rest of your team if you do not deal with performance issues - or other fatal flaws.

No matter how competent an individual is, if they don't live your values or believe in your mission, they don't belong on your team. Your culture and mission are sacred, and those who don't live both do not belong on your team. Culture is fragile and critical. Those who don't live the culture are hurting you no matter how smart and competent they are. This is evidenced in many ways, especially in how they treat others. No one who violates others should be on the team. They will destroy your team. Anyone who uses people like objects rather than appreciating them as people will help you build a healthy culture.

Before deciding whether someone is a C-Team player, ask whether they have ever been coached or mentored. And whether anyone has ever been honest with them regarding problematic issues. If not, you owe it to them to put them through a process to see if they can be retooled and brought up to a B-team level.

A and B Team folks are the heart of any good team and organization. In some higher-level jobs, you will need A-Team players. In many jobs, a solid, faithful B Team player is precisely what you need. Know that you need and work to fill positions based on that need.

One of the realities of organizations is that someone who is an A or B Team player at one phase of an organization's life can slip to a B or a C at another. Most people have a built-in "capacity ceiling" where they cease to be effective. Thus, a youth worker who was a star when she had 20 youth in her group (she could personally relate to 20) starts to slip when she has 60 (she cannot relate to 60 and is not able to build a team to help her).

It may be a case of being unable to multiply themselves to lead a larger number of people, or they have just quit growing (an all too common scenario). If coaching and mentoring do not solve the issue, you may have to move them to another seat on your bus or help them, redemptively, find a seat on another bus. What you cannot do is allow someone to function at a sub-standard level without directly impacting the rest of your team and the results of your ministry. At any stage of your ministry's life, having the right people in the right seat is critical if the ministry is going to develop to the next level of effectiveness.

Your first responsibility as a leader is to ensure the health of your organization while always acting redemptively when a change is needed. People who are not doing well are usually not in their sweet spot, and they often know it. Leaving them there is not fair to the organization and others on your team, and in the end, it is not in the best interests of the one who cannot play at the level they need to play at.

What the Gospels teach us about how we should relate to and treat others

 

I am convinced that an understanding of how Jesus related to people is critical to our own interactions - at least as believers. There are four Gospels which is maybe a sign that we were to pay attention to them.

It is intriguing that we read in John 1:14 that Jesus came full of grace and truth: in that order. My observation is that those who claim to be Christ-followers love "truth." Just read social media and listen to those who share their thoughts in social media spaces. There are plenty of our versions of the truth. I say versions because not everything we call truth is actually God's truth. But absent all too often is grace.

Unless he was speaking to the Pharisees who were serial grace killers and legalists, Jesus negotiated conversations with amazing grace. Take the woman at the well in John 4. She was an individual with a broken life, living in immorality and deeply in need of truth. Jesus engages her without judgment and with amazing grace. He acknowledges her brokenness but did so in a way that did not scare her off or shame her. 

In fact, even though he acknowledged her brokenness, she promptly went and called her village to come and meet this man. She said  “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him." Now she would never have done this if Jesus had not led with grace rather than a harsh truth.

Truth without grace is not Jesus yet we practice it all the time. We judge others for their sin, we say things that lack the fruit of the Holy Spirit, we treat people poorly as if we have the moral right to do so and we do it in the name of God. I suspect that when we do so we are not speaking for God, and certainly not like God. Those of us who know Jesus only know Him because He showed us grace - amazing grace and invited us to Himself.

The lack of grace and the focus on truth and our requisite judgmental attitudes is a large reason that people are not attracted to us, to our congregations, and ultimately to Jesus. He came to us full of grace and truth. People may listen to truth but generally only when that truth is full of grace. As Gandhi famously said, I like Jesus but I just don't like Christians. He did not see them as nice people.

I have been the recipient of harsh truth as well as amazing grace by others. Which of those do you think healed my heart? Which of those do you think encouraged me to look again at Jesus? I would guess that you have had the same experience. I would also guess that you can name those who treated you like Jesus did and those who didn't.

Growing up in an evangelical tradition that majored in truth at the expense of grace, I have been more and more attracted to Jesus and His example in the Gospels of speaking truth saturated with grace. Remember, He came full of grace and truth - in that order.

How are you doing in relating to others on the basis of grace before truth?

TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

The day between Good Friday and Easter Morning

 

What do you think it was like the day after the crucifixion of Christ? Did Pilot wake up with a guilty conscience and wonder if he had done the right thing? Did the guards, who had mocked Jesus and then seen Him on the cross, wonder if an innocent man had died? Did the crowds, who had called for His life, keep an embarrassed silence in a quiet Jerusalem? Someone was nervous,  for they asked the Roman garrison to post guards at His tomb. On the day after, Jesus' friends mourned, the Romans were nervous, and some who had watched the execution were sure He was the Son of God.

It had to be a day like no other in Jerusalem. It had to be a day of quiet and consideration. It had to be a day of sober doubt after a day of impetuous action. I'll bet there were many disturbed consciences that day. The day between death and resurrection. A day of uncertainty and guilt. A day of hopelessness and sadness. But it was done and there was no undoing the events of the night before.

We have days like that! I have experienced whole periods of life that hang between hope and despair. Uncertainty reigns. Sadness is prevalent, maybe dominant. It is the time in between life as it was and life as it will be - but not yet knowing what will be. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties, and unknowns. It is those times of personal chaos when we have no idea and little hope that life will become whole again. It is the loss of hope most of all.

It is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is real and it hurts and all of us experience it just as the disciples did, only in different ways. But there is another day coming...we know and we look forward to that day of hope. Always remember in the day of despair that morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need the words of Habakkuk, "Be still and know that I am God." Easter comes and so does Hope.

There is a whole book in the Old Testament devoted to those in between times. It is the book of Lamentations. To lament is to mourn and to be in sorrow. Jeremiah is literally walking through the burnt out ruins of Jerusalem after the Babylonians had destroyed the city. The city is largely deserted, the temple in ruins, most of the population had been taken into exile into Babylon. Think of the pictures you have seen recently of the cities destroyed in Ukraine and you get the picture. People living in the middle of rubble, hope gone, lives destroyed, bank accounts empty.

Jeremiah is deeply distressed as he wanders through the ruins and then these amazing words. “Because of the Lords’ great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”

In the time of pain and hopelessness Jeremiah says, “your mercies are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.” Great is your faithfulness.

Jeremiah was living in that “in-between time” as we also experience. Where life hangs between Hope and Despair. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties and unknowns. It is those times of personal chaos when we have no idea and little hope that life will become whole again. But we know from Easter that there is another day coming. Jeremiah knew that there was another day coming because he knew the character of God, who is always faithful. His mercies are new every morning. Tomorrow, as we celebrate Easter, we are reminded once again of His faithfulness and mercies toward us.

Always remember in the day of despair that morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need to remember. Easter comes and so does hope.

On Easter morning:

The evil one was defeated once and for all

Our sins were paid for on the cross

Jesus rose victorious from the grave

We received hope of our own future resurrection

Death was defeated

Hope was restored

The world was forever changed

The Holy Spirit came

No matter what you are going through today, remember, Easter comes and so does hope. With God it is always so. The in-between times are not the final word. Easter and Jesus and the resurrection are the final word.

Father, thank you for the hope you give us daily in spite of our circumstances. Hope that is grounded in Easter when you rose victorious and our sins were paid for once and for all. Great is your faithfulness. Amen.

The word for today: Hope. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.

TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Good Friday: Things are not always what they appear

 

Things are not always what they appear to be!

One of the lessons of Good Friday is that what appears to be true is not always true. On this day, the cosmic battle between Satan and God culminated in what Satan thought was his greatest victory. That battle had been waged from the time of the fall when God made it clear that one day Satan would be defeated (Genesis 3:15). But on this day, Satan knew he had won. The Son of God is on the cross, alone, abandoned even by His Father, who didn't seem able to rescue Him. Thirty pieces of silver were all it had taken, the best deal ever in the history of evil.

The disciples knew it was over. Jesus' friends knew it was over. The religious authorities knew it was over - their problem solved, a rival gone. Not only that, but evil had won over good and righteousness for those who cared. For the followers of Christ, this was the ultimate sadness. They had expected righteousness to triumph, but instead, evil had prevailed. The one who had called Himself the Son of God, dead on a bitter cross. The dreams of a new kingdom were shattered. Hope itself in the person of Jesus. Gone.

Little did they know that what appeared to be the final chapter was only the beginning of a new chapter. Out of the jaws of apparent defeat, Christ would not only be resurrected, but in that resurrection, he sealed the fate of Satan, evil, and unrighteousness for all time and made it possible for the created to have a relationship with the creator. The apparent defeat was only the prelude to total victory! Things are not always what they appear to be. 

Not for one moment had the events of Good Friday been out of the control of the heavenly Father, even though it looked like the Father had lost all control. He is always sovereign, and nothing under His control can ever be out of control. The world learned that on Easter Sunday but on Good Friday it could not understand.

Think about your own life for a moment. Where are the areas that seem to be out of control? Where does it feel like evil has won? Where are the areas where you feel apparent defeat, discouragement, sadness, or pain? It is easy to see the Good Friday moments in our lives when it is clear that God has not acted, and we need His help. However, it is harder to wait for the resurrection moments when God shows up, as He always does, and redeems what we thought was unredeemable - often in surprising and unique ways.

I have had whole seasons of life when it seemed that the darkness prevailed over light. I remember leaving my pastorate years ago, depressed, defeated, and convinced that I had failed. I had been caught in a power struggle where the "bad guys" won, and the rest of us left the church. I was out of a job, out of hope, clinically depressed, and even, at times, suicidal. Yet out of that experience came a new journey to understand God's grace, and a new passion for helping hurting churches so that leaders could lead with greater health and less pain. What looked like Good Friday to me, where life was hard and hope was scarce, turned out to be anything but. I came out of the experience with greater faith, wisdom, and understanding. Yes, it took a while, but it happened. I now realize that what seemed out of control was always in His control, and what seemed like failure to me was part of the building blocks of future ministry.

Whatever your circumstance, you can be sure that Easter is coming and that things are not always what they appear to be. In the end, nothing that is in His control can ever be out of control. 

How do we deal with the Good Friday moments of life when life is hard and hope is scarce? Sometimes you have to borrow faith from others. When my faith is thin and fragile, I can borrow faith from someone whose faith is strong. That is why relationships are so important in the Christian family. We don’t exist alone. We need one another. When I am weak I need someone who is strong and when I am strong I can lift up the weak. Never be ashamed of needing to borrow the faith of others.

We also need to keep our relationship with Jesus current. If He is the vine and we are the branches (John 15), then we need to stay connected to the vine. There are plenty of times in life that we don’t know what God is up to and times when we are discouraged and perhaps even despair. But there is never a time when we cannot stay connected to Him, knowing that He is the source of life and hope. 

Remember in the Good Friday moments this truth: “Christ Jesus who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:34-39). 

Clearly things are not always what they appear because behind the realities that we see, there is a spiritual reality that is always present and God is always up to something. While life may seem to us to be out of control, nothing under His control can ever be out of control. That is the lesson of Good Friday. And that is true today in those areas of your life where life seems out of control.

Father, on this day the world thought that evil had prevailed. We now know that You prevailed against evil once and for all. Remind me often that life is not always what it appears and that nothing under your control can ever be out of control. Even in my life today. Amen.

The question for today: What things in my own life do I need to remember are under God’s control today?

TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com