Hoarding

It is an amazing TV program – Hoarding – about individuals whose homes turn into massive junk piles of hoarded stuff, new (shopping issues), old (garbage) and interesting collections totally out of control. It often takes trucks to clean the pile out.

My purpose is not to criticize those who suffer from this condition as there are usually underlying psychological and neurological issues at play. Rather it occurred to me as I watched that the same thing easily happens in our own lives – hidden inside – just like the homes of hoarders look pretty normal from the outside.

It is the accumulation of stuff in our lives that start to distract us from our calling and a healthy life. It can be the accumulation of the expectations of others, out of control schedules, and distractions that keep us from time with God and living out our calling. It can be relational disconnects, attitudes, sinful tendencies, addictions or simply issues that we know we should address but have not. Over time, the accumulation of this stuff in our lives becomes a burden, a distraction, and we long for the simplicity of a life without the junk – good junk and bad junk that we ought to shed. The truth is that like hoarders, we often do not even realize that we are accumulating stuff in our lives that is unhealthy – it just creeps up on us.

How do we clean out the rooms of our lives and shed that is distracting? Periodically, we ought to ask ourselves some reflective questions:

• Is there anything in my life that the Holy Spirit has been talking to me about?

• Are there any relationships that are broken where I could seek reconciliation?

• Do I have anyone that I need to forgive?

• Are there things in my schedule that are good but that distract me from the best?

• Are there some key commitments I need to make that I currently don’t have time for?

• How am I doing with spending time with God?

• Is my relationship with my spouse and children healthy, vibrant and growing?

• What one thing could I change today that would make a major difference in my life?

Dealing with the accumulated stuff in our personal lives can be a liberating and deeply freeing experience. Living with the stuff we hang on to but that we don’t need or don’t want keeps us from being everything we want to be.

Humble Church

When you think of your church would you characterize it as humble or prideful? Congregations, like people can live with either pride or humility.


Take a congregation that has been highly successful in its day but is now struggling. They desperately need to change the way they do leadership, they need new organizational structures and they need to trade out a tired staff who are locked into paradigms that are twenty years old. Yet, leaders cannot make the radical shifts necessary or admit that there is a need for change. The reason? Pride! It means accepting the fact that they are in trouble, accepting the fact that they are not who they once were, accepting the fact that they actually need help. Accepting the fact that they cannot rest on their past success but must radically reinvent the future.


This raises an important issue. Ministry success for a church often brings with it a level of pride that hinders the future effectiveness of the church. Pride is by nature a self-sufficient attitude along with the belief that we have ministry figured out and we are good at it. That pride takes our eyes off of Christ, focuses it on us, prevents us from seeing what we need to see and prevents us from learning from others. It may "work" for a season but it will "hurt" in the end.

In my experience, churches like the ones I have described above don't get their act together until they have been humbled and realize that they need help. Some never do and simply fade into an obscure future, living on the shadows of the past, believing all is well.

Humble congregations are forged by humble leaders (both lay and professional) who know they are dependent on God for any lasting spiritual fruit, are learners by nature and live with the awareness that they never have it all together. They are always willing to learn from others and guard their hearts against the pride that will sabotage their success.

Is your church a humble church or proud church?

Grace, Transparency and the Church

One of the advantages of my work is that I get to visit many different churches each year - both in the US and globally. What is interesting to me is the continuum between churches with great personal transparency and those where such transparency is both lacking and most likely not safe. For some reason it is OK to struggle with sin and the issues of life prior to salvation but once saved, most evangelicals feel that they need to live up to some standard or culture that prevents honest transparency on issues that would actually aid in the process of sanctification.

It has often been said that if you want to get honesty go to the local bar rather than the local church. That is a sad commentary where it is true.

What we are left with are individuals who secretly struggle with all the baggage of life including addictions, sexual sin, temptations, attitudes, or basic identity issues and the very place where these struggles should be worked out - is often an unsafe place to reveal them. There are some wonderful exceptions to this where transparency and realness is practiced in a culture of grace and it is in those settings that I believe the most life change takes place because there is not a need to hide. Rather there is a shared journey toward wholeness, healing and Christ's character.

What sets such churches apart from the norm? I would suggest that there are several key factors. 

First, these churches have pastors and staff who value transparency and model it themselves. There is nothing more powerful than honest transparency from the pulpit. Like all organizational culture, this starts with a leader who communicates grace, acknowledges their own place in their spiritual journey and examples from their own lives. The more appropriate transparency there is from the pulpit the more transparent the culture of the congregation.

Second, transparent congregations tell many honest stories of life transformation. It takes one story, for instance from a couple who have struggled in their marriage and found healing and restoration to make it permissible for others who are struggling to admit their need for healing as well. Multiply those stories across the wide range of struggles people face and the healing that Christ brings. All of us, after all are on a journey of healing and spiritual formation. Telling stories of God's grace makes that journey from brokenness to wholeness normative and expected. People need to be know and encouraged that God can take their brokenness and redeem it no matter how broken they are.

Finally, these are congregations that understand and major on grace. We often focus on the need for grace to come to Christ. The truth is we need as much grace after salvation as before. We need grace every moment of every day. We cannot live up to God's expectations - or our own - unless we are living in the power of God's Spirit and daily appropriating His grace. The church is a place for broken people, those who are broken and need Christ and those who know Christ and need wholeness. 

Grace filled congregations are also humble congregations. They do not pretend to have it all together. They have leaders who admit their sin and live in dependence on God rather than in pride or self sufficiency. 

Church cultures like all organizational cultures are either accidental or deliberately created. A culture of grace and transparency can be deliberately developed. Grace and transparency encourage vulnerability and vulnerability is the first step toward growth. The church should be the premier place where we can journey from brokenness to wholeness.

On this Day

On this day:

• Satan was defeated
• The Father's face was no longer turned away
• Sadness turned to joy
• People could be reconciled to God
• The Holy Spirit would become available to each of us
• All distinctions between individuals were erased at the cross
• The church was the logical outcome as His bride
• It became possible through the Holy Spirit to walk in the Spirit rather than in the flesh
• Despair turned to amazed hope
• The empty cross became the mark of the church
• Reconciliation between brothers could mirror the reconciliation between God and us
• All sin had been paid for
• Jesus' scars would remain forever in testimony to the cross
• God's D-Day had been won. Now it is just a matter of time before evil is put away for good.
• A thief was already in heaven
• Jesus honored all women by appearing to Mary Magdalene first
• A cosmic spiritual shift took place in creation
• We could now also look forward to resurrection
• Every principality and power was defeated
• Satan realized that his apparent victory was a colossal defeat
• We live with resurrection hope
• The law was eradicated and completed
• The tomb was empty
• Because His tomb was empty, our tomb will one day be empty
• "He is Risen" changes everything!

The Day After

What do you think it was like the day after the crucifixion of Christ? Did Pilot wake up with a guilty conscience and wonder if he had done the right thing? Did the guards who had mocked Jesus and then seen Him on the cross, wonder if an innocent man had died? Did the crowds who had called for His life keep an embarrassed silence in a quiet Jerusalem? Someone was nervous for they asked the Roman garrison to post guards at His tomb. On the day after, Jesus' friends mourned, the Romans were nervous and some who had watched the execution were sure He was the Son of God.

It had to be like a day like no other in Jerusalem. It had to be a day of quiet and consideration. It had to be a day of sober doubt after a day of impetuous action. I'll bet there were many disturbed consciences that day. The day between death and resurrection. A day of uncertainty and guilt. A day of hopelessness and sadness. 

We have days like that! I have experienced whole periods of life that hang between hope and despair. Uncertainty reigns. Sadness is prevalent, maybe dominant. It us the time in between life as it was and life as it will be - but not yet knowing what will be. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties and unknowns.

It is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is real and it hurts and all of us experience it just as the disciples did, only in different ways. But there is another day coming...we know and we look forward to that day of hope. Always remember in the day of despair. The morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need the words of Habakkuk, "Be still and know that I am God." Easter comes and so does Hope.
 

Seven Marks of Faithful Friends

Friendships obviously exist at many different levels but it is the deepest friendships that mold us, shape us and encourage us in our walk with Christ. Those friendships, that have stood the test of time are one of the most precious and important gifts we can ever experience. In many ways, they mirror the faithfulness of Jesus to us because they reflect His friendship with us.

What are the marks of such friendships?

They have withstood the test of time. How many friendships that you thought were deep went by the wayside in some church conflict or over some small event? Faithful friends are those who have proven themselves faithful in good times and dark times and over a long period of years. Like Jesus, you just know they will be there for you.

They motivate us to be more like Jesus. Their commitment to followership of Christ is an ever present reminder to us to follow well. All of us need that kind of encouragement in a world that is rushing to please self rather than follow Jesus.

They always encourage. There are plenty of people and circumstances ready to discourage and take shots. Faithful friends, like Jesus are patient, kind, and always encouraging. They are a refuge from the disappointments that life and others cause us.

They speak truth into our lives with the gentleness of Christ. I am always amazed at how gentle Jesus is with us. So are faithful friends. They give us perspective, help us think through issues, probe our lives but in gentle and kind ways that always communicate their love. Perspective communicated with love and kindness by people who have earned our trust is a wonderful gift. 

They share their lives. Faithful friends are openhanded and open books. They allow us to know them and encourage us to be known. 
In that mutual sharing, we are understood and we understand and iron begins to sharpen iron. Being known and understood by another is a great comfort because we know we are worthy and valued and loved.

They love us unconditionally. How many of us are fearful that if someone knew the real us - with all our scars and woundedness that they would not really love us? With faithful friends, like with Christ, we don't have to prove ourselves but can just be ourselves. In fact, it is these friends who show us what the Father's love is like because they know us really well and still love us really deeply.

They make an investment in relationships. Faithful friendships, like marriage must be nurtured and tended to. Faithful friends make an investment in our relationship with time, attention, care, love, prayer and practical ways. They value the relationship and invest in the relationship.

I am so thankful for faithful friends in our lives. Of all the investments we could make with our time and energy, these friendships, like our relationship with Christ are critically important because these fellow pilgrims walk the road with us in good times and hard times - encouraging us to keep going and keep trusting. Such relationships are priceless.


I thank God for my faithful friends and I want to be a faithful friend.

Church leaders who don't give

I had an interesting email recently from a financial secretary in a local church. His dilemma was that several of the nominees for the leadership board do not give financially to the church and he wondered if he should confidentially tell the pastor. As the financial secretary with knowledge of congregants giving, he is in a delicate position but He astutely understands an important issue: Those who are not generous to their church should not be in leadership positions!

I have previously addressed the question as to whether I think pastors ought to know what members give and will not repeat that here. What I do believe is that it is foolish to put anyone in church leadership who is not financially committed to the church. If Jesus words are truth, that where our treasure is, our heart is also, it should be clear that those who do not give to their church have their hearts elsewhere. How then can they lead with heart and integrity?


Even if they give generously elsewhere, if they do not give to their local church they have disqualified themselves for leadership in that setting. Often, if they are not giving to their local church they simply are not giving.

Leaders call their congregations to a lifestyle of generosity. Those who are not financially generous - in line with their own ability - cannot with integrity call others to such a life. It really does matter.


One pastor I know of a large church has a rule that if he receives strong criticism about the direction of the church he will look at the individual's giving before responding. In the majority of cases, those most disaffected are giving little or nothing. They may be loud voices in congregational meetings but the truth is they are not vested in the ministry and don't deserve to be taken seriously. Their heart is not there! Which is also why they may be disaffected. What is interesting is that often those who posture themselves as being very generous are in fact the least generous. 


If in your culture, pastors do not have access to giving records, my advice to those putting leaders up for nomination is that they ask the financial secretary whether those individuals are giving in a regular and generous way. If the answer is no, I would not put them on the leadership board. 


I would have the same expectation of pastoral staff. They, along with the leadership board set the tone for the ministry and a lack of generosity at that level robs them of the integrity to lead others toward a life of generosity (in money, time, energy and the use of gifts). If our pocketbook is not in the game, we are not in the game. And certainly not our hearts!

If you checked the giving of your current leaders and pastoral staff, either specifically or through a general question, you may find opportunity to sit down and talk with those who are not giving beyond a token amount. It is a discipleship moment for them.