Who are you listening to?

I had a fascinating conversation recently with a senior executive of a well known company. Like many sales organizations, there is a headquarters staff of 300 but the sales are generated by sales teams around the country. Of those in the main office, there are only three individuals who have had experience in the field: working with customers; selling product and seeing the projects they sell completed.

My friend, in his position has regular access with the president who is making daily decisions and in his and the sales staff's view these decisions are out of touch with customers and the realities of the business. Why? Because the president listens to those in the main office but not to those who have regular contact with the customers. In the process he is pricing the product out of the market resulting in declining sales. He is frustrated along with the large sales force. 

His experience can be replicated in organizations, churches and ministries everywhere: leaders who are listening to the wrong people resulting in a myopic leadership paradigm.

The problem? To lead well we must listen to people at all levels of an organization, know their challenges and issues as well as talking regularly with the constituency they serve. When leaders listen primarily to other senior leaders without listening to those at other levels of the organization they do not get the information they need  to make helpful and wise decisions. 

Peter Drucker was a writer and consultant on management who knew an extraordinary amount of information on a wide variety of businesses. How did he get that information? Each morning he would call line managers in various industries to find out what was actually going on. He didn't call the senior executives, but those who dealt with the nuts and bolts of the business. They knew things that the senior staff often did not know. 

In my work with churches and non-profits I watch senior leaders talk to each other but not to those who make the ministry or non-profit what it is - those at all levels of the organization who have a closer relationship with the realities, challenges and views of the constituency, therefore, hurting their ability to make the best decisions. 

If you lead, ask yourself the question: Who am I listening to? Am I listening primarily to senior leaders or am I spending significant time listening to those at other levels of the organization along with constituents who can give me a much more unvarnished view of reality?

The best leaders know where they will get their best information and are disciplined in making the time to listen to all levels of the organization (along with constituents). They know that good decisions depend on good information. Who are you listening to? Are they the right people?

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Overestimating our skill and underestimating our weaknesses

It should not be a surprise that we are often prone to overestimate our skill and underestimate our weaknesses. This can have the affect of trusting our instincts too much in the first instance and not understanding how our weaknesses impact others in the second. 

Take for instance, an individual who is good at strategy. Because they have skill in determining strategy they can downplay the input of others, trusting their own analysis and conclusions. Yet, no one has the ability to think of all the consequences of any strategy or anticipate all the variables that can impact its success. Thus by not listening to others this leader is hurting the organization in their overconfidence in their own abilities. Their good ideas can fail because they overestimated their skill. 

It is not unusual for highly skilled individuals to fail to bring others into the conversation - a weakness born out of confidence and a perceived lack of need of others. In their overconfidence they also underestimate the impact of not listening to those around them. Few things are more demotivating than to give helpful and valid input to a plan and to have their leader either ignore it or dismiss it as irrelevant. 

In both cases the organization is served poorly - as well as people in the process. 

Pride plays a role in this equation. We like to think the best of ourselves and our abilities but we should also be realistic. Healthy individuals with good EQ understand their strengths and weaknesses as well as the shadow side of both. That awareness allows them to compensate for their weaknesses and ensure that they don't over rely on their strengths. In fact, that is a pretty good definition of a humble individual. They have a realistic view of themselves. 

How do we avoid these tendencies? One is to be aware of them and to ensure that we involve and listen to others. The second key is to solicit feedback from those we really trust. Feedback from others is an absolute essential part of growing our EQ as there are things we don't see about ourselves and never will unless others point them out. In order to hear feedback, however, we need to overcome our natural defensiveness. 

Often we are afraid that soliciting feedback is a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign of strength. We have the desire and courage to receive feedback. Only strong people do that.

What are the things a leader needs to communicate to his people to ensure that he is getting the truth

Without truth from others, a leader is left only with his/her assumptions or perceptions and that is a dangerous place to be. So how does a leader ensure that their staff and friends tell them the truth? It is an important question that has huge ramifications. What we don't know will hurt us. What we do know can help us - if we pay attention!

Leaders either encourage or discourage their staff from sharing truth with them. On the negative side, they discourage the truth by sending messages that "You should not go there," or, it is not safe to talk about these things because if you do your leader becomes defensive. Truth is an important commodity that can either be mined or easily ignored.

How do we encourage truth? First, we encourage "robust dialogue" where we tell our team that any issue can be put on the table with the exception of personal attacks or hidden agendas. Second, when people share openly, we as leaders respond with a non-defensive attitude that conveys "I have nothing to prove and nothing to lose." It is the attitude and reaction of leaders that either encourages or discourages honest and candid dialogue among a team.

Leaders can also ask critical questions such as "Is there anything I do that you wish I would do differently," or, "If there was one thing that you wish I did differently, what would it be?" designed to help mine for truth. Ironically, many leaders are afraid of truth when truth is their largest gift. I may or may not agree with what is shared but I would certainly desire to know what people think than not. 

Leaders set the standard for how candid their staff can be with them. I have worked for leaders who did not want honesty and those who did and I will not work for those who don't ever again. As a leader I want to know what people are thinking, what suggestions they have and what their perceptions are. Without that I cannot lead well. I don't have to like what I hear to appreciate it deeply. My expectation is that my staff will tell me the truth whether it hurts or not. Those who don't are the poorer for it.

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