Our investment in discipling our kids is one of the most important things that parents do. The sobering truth is that if we don't make the investment, society will disciple them for us - and that is a scary thought.
What does it mean to disciple our kids? First it means that we model for them what a sold out lifestyle for Jesus looks like: living in grace and extending it to others, thinking like Jesus thinks, aligning our priorities with His and seeing people as He sees them and loving them as He loves them. No son or daughter will miss the point when they see their parents living out a Jesus life.
I also believe that the daily interaction with kids is critical, especially when we are able to relate every day issues to a Jesus lifestyle. This is not about rules or legalism. It is about helping our kids understand that there is no part of life where our commitment to Jesus does not touch. For us, these conversations took place regularly at our dinner table where all kinds of issues were freely discussed and whether serious or humorous matters of faith and life were integrated.
As our kids get older, what about asking them if they would like to be involved in a more intentional discipleship process with their parents. Allow them to pick the materials and then meet, discuss, study and pray. Keep it separate from parenting. This is life on life seeking to understand how God relates to us and how we relate to Him. Many kids will jump at the opportunity.
However you do it, remember that if we don't disciple our kids, society will do it for us. That particular outsourcing is the cause of generations of kids leaving their faith and it is very sad. We want to leave an intentional spiritual legacy with our kids.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
The faith of a child
It was about 25 years ago and Yellowstone National Forest had been burning for months leaving vast tracts of land barren and charred. My son and I were driving in Northern Minnesota and he was agonizing over that fire. Suddenly he folded his little hands squeezed shut his eyes and prayed, "Jesus would you stop the fire?" That night it snowed in Yellowstone and the fire was extinguished.Coincidence? I won't attempt to answer that question but Jon knew in his heart that God could do anything He chose to do and in his innocence and faith he simply asked God to stop this enormous fire and God did.
Jesus loved the faith of children because it is so simple compared to the sophisticated faith of adults - so sophisticated that we often do not believe that God could or would do those things that we might ask for. Our innocence and simple faith has been lost, replaced by our complex ideas of who God is and how He acts. And as a result our prayers are often prayers of greater unbelief (He won't answer this) than they are prayer of simple faith and belief.
When at about four I invited Jesus to come into my heart and forgive my sin, I had no doubts that He had done just that. When I prayed for his help I knew that He would help. In my innocence I simply believed promises I knew to be true and that He was who He said He was. It was a wonderful, simple, profound, faith unclouded by doubts and all my rationalist thinking.
Jesus said, "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3). He desires that our faith be simple and profound, simply believing His promises and His forgiveness and His presence.
As a theologian, I know many nuances of theology. As a follower of Jesus I desire to have the innocent, simple, profound, believing faith of a child. These are not antithetical to one another. In fact, they are the trust of a child to a father.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Faces
Faces
Guest Writer: Amy, A ReachGlobal misionary in Tanzania
Whenever you drive into downtown Dar and stop at a major intersection, little boys run up to your car. They are about 10 or 12 years old, and hold a jug full of soapy water and a piece of a broken windshield wiper. As soon as your car stops, they splash water on your windshield, "wash" the window in about 10 seconds, and then hold out their hands to be paid.
I used to get annoyed at these boys. I really didn't need my window washed two or three times in a half hour (once at each intersection), and I didn't like that they assumed I even wanted my window washed. I also didn't like that I am always targeted because I am white.
These boys are most likely all street boys. Runaways from abusive homes, orphans, or cast out for one reason or another, and now literally living on the street. Which is the life that very likely my Josiah could have been living, had circumstances turned out differently for him. And so, a couple of years ago, when one of these boys tried to wash my windshield, all of a sudden, I saw Josiah's face there instead.
And I started to cry. And instead of shrugging him away, I paid him. Now I do every time.
Like every other American (and much of the world), I have been thinking and praying and mourning over the terrible tragedy of 20 lost little lives in Connecticut. But what has struck me about the situation and how it is being presented is that this tragedy is somehow unusual for our world.
Did you know that in the past couple of weeks, 700,000 refugees have fled Congo? That they are fleeing a militia that has been bombing and burning down their villages, raping and shooting indiscriminately? Ironically, they are fleeing into Rwanda, country where only 10 years ago, the majority tribe massacred one million of their fellow countrymen/women/children, neighbor against neighbor, and usually with machetes?
Did you know that often in Africa, children suffer a fate far worse than being gunned down by a crazy person; instead they are handed a gun, forced to murder their own parents, and then conscripted into an army to kill their own neighbors and friends?
The United States will corporately mourn those 20 little lives lost on Friday, and rightly so. But I can't help but ask, why are those little lives so much more valuable than the ones over here? Why do people care so much about this tragedy, and barely cast a glance at Congo? Why is anyone surprised that such an event would occur, when it has been happening in the rest of the world since Cain and Abel?
And I'm guessing it's because that people see their own children, or themselves, in the faces of those children from Connecticut. They can imagine what it would be like to send their own little ones off to school, only to never see them again. But they can't imagine a crazed, drug-induced militia entering their neighborhood, raping, burning, and shooting their small children, ripping open their pregnant women before handing their 10-year-old a gun and telling him to shoot his mother or die himself.
The American children have names and faces. The African children don't.
Adopting three African children has broken my heart for other African children in ways that I never imagined, even after growing up here. I see children here suffering and I see my children's faces instead. I think about my children starving, alone, frightened, separated from their families by tragedy, fighting in wars. Or even just living on the street, trying to make enough money for a meal by washing car windows.
So yes, mourn this tragedy, America. See your children's faces in the newscasts and hug your own children tighter today. But don't forget the millions of children and families who endure even worse things every day. Adopt a child. Sponsor a child. Send money to churches in Rwanda who are helping the Congolese.
And remember that we're not celebrating Christmas because of the warm fuzzies and fun and sugar plums. We celebrate Christmas because our world is desperately, horrifically, tragically broken and our only hope is in Jesus Christ.
A thrill of hope; a weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
I used to get annoyed at these boys. I really didn't need my window washed two or three times in a half hour (once at each intersection), and I didn't like that they assumed I even wanted my window washed. I also didn't like that I am always targeted because I am white.
These boys are most likely all street boys. Runaways from abusive homes, orphans, or cast out for one reason or another, and now literally living on the street. Which is the life that very likely my Josiah could have been living, had circumstances turned out differently for him. And so, a couple of years ago, when one of these boys tried to wash my windshield, all of a sudden, I saw Josiah's face there instead.
And I started to cry. And instead of shrugging him away, I paid him. Now I do every time.
Like every other American (and much of the world), I have been thinking and praying and mourning over the terrible tragedy of 20 lost little lives in Connecticut. But what has struck me about the situation and how it is being presented is that this tragedy is somehow unusual for our world.
Did you know that in the past couple of weeks, 700,000 refugees have fled Congo? That they are fleeing a militia that has been bombing and burning down their villages, raping and shooting indiscriminately? Ironically, they are fleeing into Rwanda, country where only 10 years ago, the majority tribe massacred one million of their fellow countrymen/women/children, neighbor against neighbor, and usually with machetes?
Did you know that often in Africa, children suffer a fate far worse than being gunned down by a crazy person; instead they are handed a gun, forced to murder their own parents, and then conscripted into an army to kill their own neighbors and friends?
The United States will corporately mourn those 20 little lives lost on Friday, and rightly so. But I can't help but ask, why are those little lives so much more valuable than the ones over here? Why do people care so much about this tragedy, and barely cast a glance at Congo? Why is anyone surprised that such an event would occur, when it has been happening in the rest of the world since Cain and Abel?
And I'm guessing it's because that people see their own children, or themselves, in the faces of those children from Connecticut. They can imagine what it would be like to send their own little ones off to school, only to never see them again. But they can't imagine a crazed, drug-induced militia entering their neighborhood, raping, burning, and shooting their small children, ripping open their pregnant women before handing their 10-year-old a gun and telling him to shoot his mother or die himself.
The American children have names and faces. The African children don't.
Adopting three African children has broken my heart for other African children in ways that I never imagined, even after growing up here. I see children here suffering and I see my children's faces instead. I think about my children starving, alone, frightened, separated from their families by tragedy, fighting in wars. Or even just living on the street, trying to make enough money for a meal by washing car windows.
So yes, mourn this tragedy, America. See your children's faces in the newscasts and hug your own children tighter today. But don't forget the millions of children and families who endure even worse things every day. Adopt a child. Sponsor a child. Send money to churches in Rwanda who are helping the Congolese.
And remember that we're not celebrating Christmas because of the warm fuzzies and fun and sugar plums. We celebrate Christmas because our world is desperately, horrifically, tragically broken and our only hope is in Jesus Christ.
A thrill of hope; a weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Helping people learn: Don't tell, ask
Questions are powerful tools in helping others grow. And often underutilized. We are prone to tell others something rather than ask them something. In telling them something we give them valuable information. In asking them questions so that they come to a conclusion themselves we help them to think for themselves, the skill that will help them make good decisions themselves.
We used to do this with our kids at the dinner table. The questions would result in free flow discussions on many topics and both our sons are today deeply inquisitive of life and good thinkers. Sometimes they turned the table on us and asked why we had certain rules, making us think about the why behind the what.
I was talking to a young leader recently about question asking and he made the comment that no one has taught him how to use that skill. I encouraged him that everyone can learn the skill with practice. I also told him that one had to be OK with a bit of silence after asking a question. Be patient and eventually the other party will answer.
Questions are particularly important in helping others understand their own wiring, motivations, strengths and weaknesses. We may not even have the option of telling them these things but through questions and dialogue we can help them uncover their own makeup.
One reason that more leaders do not ask more questions and default to telling is that questions and dialogue take time. Telling is fast and easy. However, while telling is more efficient in the short run is is less effective in the long run since telling rarely helps the other party actually grow. It gives them information but does not build the skill of critical analysis - necessary for growth.
I just finished a week of dialogue with some bright leaders from around the world. Many shared the power of the week because it was based on questions and group dialogue rather than information imparting which they were used to. Several said they would be using the same method with those they oversaw or mentored.
Questions rather than telling also sends a powerful message that you care about the other party. You are implicitly saying to them that you value their perspective, that they have something to contribute to the question at hand and that it is worth exploring the issue together rather than you as the supervisor or leader simply telling them the answer. Telling communicates that you have the answer. Dialogue indicates that we can come up with the answer. There is a big difference.
We used to do this with our kids at the dinner table. The questions would result in free flow discussions on many topics and both our sons are today deeply inquisitive of life and good thinkers. Sometimes they turned the table on us and asked why we had certain rules, making us think about the why behind the what.
I was talking to a young leader recently about question asking and he made the comment that no one has taught him how to use that skill. I encouraged him that everyone can learn the skill with practice. I also told him that one had to be OK with a bit of silence after asking a question. Be patient and eventually the other party will answer.
Questions are particularly important in helping others understand their own wiring, motivations, strengths and weaknesses. We may not even have the option of telling them these things but through questions and dialogue we can help them uncover their own makeup.
One reason that more leaders do not ask more questions and default to telling is that questions and dialogue take time. Telling is fast and easy. However, while telling is more efficient in the short run is is less effective in the long run since telling rarely helps the other party actually grow. It gives them information but does not build the skill of critical analysis - necessary for growth.
I just finished a week of dialogue with some bright leaders from around the world. Many shared the power of the week because it was based on questions and group dialogue rather than information imparting which they were used to. Several said they would be using the same method with those they oversaw or mentored.
Questions rather than telling also sends a powerful message that you care about the other party. You are implicitly saying to them that you value their perspective, that they have something to contribute to the question at hand and that it is worth exploring the issue together rather than you as the supervisor or leader simply telling them the answer. Telling communicates that you have the answer. Dialogue indicates that we can come up with the answer. There is a big difference.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Dysfunctional families of origin
At fifty five, I realize that I still am deeply impacted by my family of origin (what ever happened to growing up?). Our formative years are just that - formative and they stay with us forever. Some of us are more fortunate than others in our families of origin. Some bear great scars that still feel raw to this day. And, none of us grew up in a perfect family and my own children will deal with dysfunctions that I was responsible for. However, there are three questions that I believe can help us see our lives in perspective.
One: What can I thank God for relative to my family of origin? Who we are today is in large part the result of our early years. My understanding of Scripture came from terribly early morning devotions, but those devotions informed my view of Scripture and of God. My love of people from all over the world came from the cross cultural experience I had growing up in Hong Kong and the amazing hospitality which my parents exhibited in welcoming all to our home. If I made a list (and it is a good idea) of the may blessings I experienced from my family of origin it would be long.
Two: What do I need to forgive my parents for? No parents are perfect and their understanding of parenting is a factor of their generation, their spiritual place and their situation in life. I am the first to admit that my kids, Jon and Chip will need to forgive me for parenting mistakes, perhaps that I am not even aware of. Our own parenting skills are a mix of what we saw that we appreciated and what we experienced that was painful. At some point we need to forgive our parents for the painful just as our children will need to forgive us for the same. Ironically we are best suited to raise kids when our grand kids come along.
Forgiveness for the failing of our parents is critical to our own freedom and reflects our own humble evaluation of our own parenting. All of us are in need of God's grace and the grace of others. No parents did it all right. The sooner we forgive, the sooner we are able to deal with the scars we gained early in life.
Three: How do we see God's hand in our personal history? Our upbringing is a mixture of good and bad, happy and sad, levels of family dysfunction and for some, very deep wounds. However, it is an amazing thing to consider how God got us from there to here? How we can see His invisible hand in our personal history to mold us into who we have become and how he presently uses us. Only God has the ability to use both the good and bad of our past and redeem it for His perfect purposes in our present. Only He can change our human scars into divine scars usable by Him.
Ultimately we are not who we are primarily because of our parents but because of the faithfulness of God through our history. Think deeply how God has been present in your history, in your childhood, in all of the events of your life, bringing you to your present place and you will be encouraged. Whether we have much to be thankful for in our upbringing or the need to forgive much that was painful and hurting, the one constant is always the presence of a loving father who brings us to where we are today, redeeming the pain and using all of who we are to impact our world today. Whatever our experiences, God was there in their midst and the proof of that is where He has you today.
I am a far more humble parent than I was when my first son was born. I realize more clearly than ever my own brokenness and that realization helps me forgive the hurts from my own childhood. I hope my children do better than me but know that they deal with their own brokenness and in the end it is the grace and love of Jesus that makes the difference for all of us.
One: What can I thank God for relative to my family of origin? Who we are today is in large part the result of our early years. My understanding of Scripture came from terribly early morning devotions, but those devotions informed my view of Scripture and of God. My love of people from all over the world came from the cross cultural experience I had growing up in Hong Kong and the amazing hospitality which my parents exhibited in welcoming all to our home. If I made a list (and it is a good idea) of the may blessings I experienced from my family of origin it would be long.
Two: What do I need to forgive my parents for? No parents are perfect and their understanding of parenting is a factor of their generation, their spiritual place and their situation in life. I am the first to admit that my kids, Jon and Chip will need to forgive me for parenting mistakes, perhaps that I am not even aware of. Our own parenting skills are a mix of what we saw that we appreciated and what we experienced that was painful. At some point we need to forgive our parents for the painful just as our children will need to forgive us for the same. Ironically we are best suited to raise kids when our grand kids come along.
Forgiveness for the failing of our parents is critical to our own freedom and reflects our own humble evaluation of our own parenting. All of us are in need of God's grace and the grace of others. No parents did it all right. The sooner we forgive, the sooner we are able to deal with the scars we gained early in life.
Three: How do we see God's hand in our personal history? Our upbringing is a mixture of good and bad, happy and sad, levels of family dysfunction and for some, very deep wounds. However, it is an amazing thing to consider how God got us from there to here? How we can see His invisible hand in our personal history to mold us into who we have become and how he presently uses us. Only God has the ability to use both the good and bad of our past and redeem it for His perfect purposes in our present. Only He can change our human scars into divine scars usable by Him.
Ultimately we are not who we are primarily because of our parents but because of the faithfulness of God through our history. Think deeply how God has been present in your history, in your childhood, in all of the events of your life, bringing you to your present place and you will be encouraged. Whether we have much to be thankful for in our upbringing or the need to forgive much that was painful and hurting, the one constant is always the presence of a loving father who brings us to where we are today, redeeming the pain and using all of who we are to impact our world today. Whatever our experiences, God was there in their midst and the proof of that is where He has you today.
I am a far more humble parent than I was when my first son was born. I realize more clearly than ever my own brokenness and that realization helps me forgive the hurts from my own childhood. I hope my children do better than me but know that they deal with their own brokenness and in the end it is the grace and love of Jesus that makes the difference for all of us.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Missions and child protection
The Pen State scandal and the recent issues faced by New Tribes Mission remind us of the critical importance of ensuring that ministries do everything they can to protect the minor children under their care. Many churches in the United States have a way of vetting those who work with children but mission organizations may not always be aware of their liability with short term teams coming out, or with their own staff.
For example, orphanages or kids ministries in the majority world can be targets of opportunity for pedophiles as they know that there may be less scrutiny than in the west. In addition, in any given year, tens of thousands of kids and adults from churches in the US go abroad to work with children internationally. The question is whether mission agencies take appropriate measures with those who will have contact with children on those trips.
Suggestions:
One, require a background check such as a local church would do for those who will be working overseas with minors - either missionary kids or local children.
Two, before the event, train the adults and children involved in the procedures you have in place to prevent any abuse or opportunities for abuse. Most local churches have such procedures in place that you can borrow from. A best practice would be a mission wide procedure for training those working with minors.
Three, have a zero tolerance policy for mission staff or those working as volunteers. If an incident occurs, report it immediately to both the immediate supervisor and a senior leader. The reason you report it to both a senior leader and the immediate supervisor is to ensure that it is not covered up. If it involves a short term team member, that member should immediately be flown home. If an allegation is made against someone on staff, they must immediately be removed from all contact with minors and if proven they should be removed from the mission. Pedophiles are highly likely to re-offend and no ministry can take that chance. In addition, ensure that the intake process for full time missionaries includes testing for personality disorders and pathology. Tests like the MMPI can save you a lot of pain by keeping the wrong people from going to the field in the first place.
Four, never cover up an offence of pedophilia. The greatest tragedy of the New Tribes episode is that they chose to protect offenders, even leaving them in place or transferring them to other schools. Even those they called home were not held accountable. This allowed, like it appears at Penn State, for the abuse to continue. Protecting the abuser virtually guarantees further victims.
Five, take responsibility for helping a victim get help. The victim is not the individual who offended but the individual they violated. It is amazing to me that in both ministry and places like Penn State there was a greater protection of the violator than the victim. This is a huge violation of trust - as New Tribes discovered and Penn State will discover. Hold the accuser responsible, don't cover up and do all you can to get the victim help.
Minor children must be protected in every way we can from those who would abuse them and cause them a lifetime of emotional trauma. Does your mission have safeguards in place?
For example, orphanages or kids ministries in the majority world can be targets of opportunity for pedophiles as they know that there may be less scrutiny than in the west. In addition, in any given year, tens of thousands of kids and adults from churches in the US go abroad to work with children internationally. The question is whether mission agencies take appropriate measures with those who will have contact with children on those trips.
Suggestions:
One, require a background check such as a local church would do for those who will be working overseas with minors - either missionary kids or local children.
Two, before the event, train the adults and children involved in the procedures you have in place to prevent any abuse or opportunities for abuse. Most local churches have such procedures in place that you can borrow from. A best practice would be a mission wide procedure for training those working with minors.
Three, have a zero tolerance policy for mission staff or those working as volunteers. If an incident occurs, report it immediately to both the immediate supervisor and a senior leader. The reason you report it to both a senior leader and the immediate supervisor is to ensure that it is not covered up. If it involves a short term team member, that member should immediately be flown home. If an allegation is made against someone on staff, they must immediately be removed from all contact with minors and if proven they should be removed from the mission. Pedophiles are highly likely to re-offend and no ministry can take that chance. In addition, ensure that the intake process for full time missionaries includes testing for personality disorders and pathology. Tests like the MMPI can save you a lot of pain by keeping the wrong people from going to the field in the first place.
Four, never cover up an offence of pedophilia. The greatest tragedy of the New Tribes episode is that they chose to protect offenders, even leaving them in place or transferring them to other schools. Even those they called home were not held accountable. This allowed, like it appears at Penn State, for the abuse to continue. Protecting the abuser virtually guarantees further victims.
Five, take responsibility for helping a victim get help. The victim is not the individual who offended but the individual they violated. It is amazing to me that in both ministry and places like Penn State there was a greater protection of the violator than the victim. This is a huge violation of trust - as New Tribes discovered and Penn State will discover. Hold the accuser responsible, don't cover up and do all you can to get the victim help.
Minor children must be protected in every way we can from those who would abuse them and cause them a lifetime of emotional trauma. Does your mission have safeguards in place?
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Teaching our children and grandchildren how to think
The art of thinking critically is being lost in the west at an amazing rate. The spirit of relativism, television, the loss of reading, popular culture all conspire to rob our kids and grand kids of the most important skill they could every acquire, the ability to think, to reason, to work through a problem logically and come to a logical conclusion. We cannot change the world in which our kids and grand kids live but we can give them the gift of helping them to think well.
With our two boys the forum for thinking was often our dinner table. Anything was fair game from politics, to church, to work issues to current events or the drama at school. In those conversations we would often ask questions to draw out their thinking. The boys would challenge us and one another and we them. It was a wonderful conversational free for all that put ideas on the table and didn't separate adult conversation from kids conversation. Often the conversation was alternatively serious and then very funny.
Kids love to talk, play with ideas and express themselves. The simple act of dialogue where there is a back and fourth with lots of questions that help them clarify their thinking, reasoning and conclusions is a gift that will stick with them for a lifetime. In the process they learn critical thinking skills that help them separate current sophistry from truth.
In fact, helping kids understand that there is truth, that there are absolutes that we can count on is huge today because the relativism they grow up with in school is "you have your truth, I have my truth and both are true" (a non sequitur if there ever was one: But wait, that is logic!). That kind of garbage thinking is raising a whole generation of kids to believe that anything and everything can be true simply because one believes it. As the British would say, that is pure, unadulterated rubbish! The shallowness of our political dialogue today is testimony to the fact that politicians count on the fact that people don't think. So much of what is said is pure rubbish but taken as fact.
All of this means taking time with our kids and grand kids. Their ability to think well impacts their faith, their personal lives and their vocations. It separates those who get their truth from Oprah and Chopra and those who understand real truth from Scripture. The ability to reason, to work through an issue logically and be able to defend it with real facts is a dying but necessary skill to successfully negotiate life and faith. Make that investment in the next generation and you will have given them a great gift.
With our two boys the forum for thinking was often our dinner table. Anything was fair game from politics, to church, to work issues to current events or the drama at school. In those conversations we would often ask questions to draw out their thinking. The boys would challenge us and one another and we them. It was a wonderful conversational free for all that put ideas on the table and didn't separate adult conversation from kids conversation. Often the conversation was alternatively serious and then very funny.
Kids love to talk, play with ideas and express themselves. The simple act of dialogue where there is a back and fourth with lots of questions that help them clarify their thinking, reasoning and conclusions is a gift that will stick with them for a lifetime. In the process they learn critical thinking skills that help them separate current sophistry from truth.
In fact, helping kids understand that there is truth, that there are absolutes that we can count on is huge today because the relativism they grow up with in school is "you have your truth, I have my truth and both are true" (a non sequitur if there ever was one: But wait, that is logic!). That kind of garbage thinking is raising a whole generation of kids to believe that anything and everything can be true simply because one believes it. As the British would say, that is pure, unadulterated rubbish! The shallowness of our political dialogue today is testimony to the fact that politicians count on the fact that people don't think. So much of what is said is pure rubbish but taken as fact.
All of this means taking time with our kids and grand kids. Their ability to think well impacts their faith, their personal lives and their vocations. It separates those who get their truth from Oprah and Chopra and those who understand real truth from Scripture. The ability to reason, to work through an issue logically and be able to defend it with real facts is a dying but necessary skill to successfully negotiate life and faith. Make that investment in the next generation and you will have given them a great gift.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
On not speaking down to our children
Some of my most memorable years as a father were our family dinner conversations in the evenings. Mary Ann and I would talk about our work and ministry and the kids would weigh in on those, ask questions or wax eloquent on their own issues of life, faith, politics and people.
From an early age, we did not hide from them issues we were dealing with including problematic issues at work. We had a fast and standing rue called PC or "Private Conversation" that could not go anywhere and to me knowledge they never violated that commitment. In the process they learned how we handled real life stuff and they learned how to have "robust dialogue" on any issues they wanted without personal attacks.
This is perhaps why from an early age, Jon and Chip were so comfortable around adults. They were treated like adults at home who could think through adult issues.
I think that we too often speak down at our children thinking that they will not understand. We do this with every day life issues, and especially with theology where we feel a need to bring the gospel down to their level. It is interesting to me that Jesus never did that. He spent time with children, talked with them and they in turn simply believe what he said in their naivety! He called us to have the same child like faith in his promises rather than rationalizing them away. He said it was easier for a child to enter his kingdom than a rich man.
I remember as a young child listening to tapes of Bible Stories right out of the gospels and Old Testament. My earliest scripture memory goes back to those "go to bed tapes." I did not need explanation, I simply listened and believed with child like trust. Perhaps that is a reason for my gift of faith today! God said it and I believe it. In fact, I never struggled in that department but it goes back to my youth.
Sure there are complicated themes in the Bible. But there are many that are complicated to adults that are not complicate to kids. They simply take God and Jesus at his word: a novel idea unhindered by our western rationalism.
Years ago, an expert in education from England wrote these words.
We might gather from [misguided] educational publications that the art of education as regards young children is to bring conceptions down to their 'little' minds. If we give up this foolish prejudice, we shall be astonished at the range and depth of children's minds. And, we shall perceive that their relation to God is one of those 'first-born affinities,' which it is our part to help them to make good. A mother knows how to speak of God as she would of an absent father, with all the evidences of his care and love. She knows how to make a child's heart beat high in joy and thankfulness; as she thrills him with the thought 'my Father made them all,' while his eye delights in flowery meadow, great tree, flowing river. 'His are the mountains and the valleys, his the resplendent rivers, whose eyes they fill with tears of holy joy.' And this is not beyond children. (Charlotte Mason, Philosophy of Education)
Remember that when children are created they come with amazing minds, creative ideas and a spiritual component that wants and needs to connect with the living God. It is often we as parents that complicate the uncomplicated and limit their understanding through our disappointments in life and sometimes far from robust faith.
From an early age, we did not hide from them issues we were dealing with including problematic issues at work. We had a fast and standing rue called PC or "Private Conversation" that could not go anywhere and to me knowledge they never violated that commitment. In the process they learned how we handled real life stuff and they learned how to have "robust dialogue" on any issues they wanted without personal attacks.
This is perhaps why from an early age, Jon and Chip were so comfortable around adults. They were treated like adults at home who could think through adult issues.
I think that we too often speak down at our children thinking that they will not understand. We do this with every day life issues, and especially with theology where we feel a need to bring the gospel down to their level. It is interesting to me that Jesus never did that. He spent time with children, talked with them and they in turn simply believe what he said in their naivety! He called us to have the same child like faith in his promises rather than rationalizing them away. He said it was easier for a child to enter his kingdom than a rich man.
I remember as a young child listening to tapes of Bible Stories right out of the gospels and Old Testament. My earliest scripture memory goes back to those "go to bed tapes." I did not need explanation, I simply listened and believed with child like trust. Perhaps that is a reason for my gift of faith today! God said it and I believe it. In fact, I never struggled in that department but it goes back to my youth.
Sure there are complicated themes in the Bible. But there are many that are complicated to adults that are not complicate to kids. They simply take God and Jesus at his word: a novel idea unhindered by our western rationalism.
Years ago, an expert in education from England wrote these words.
We might gather from [misguided] educational publications that the art of education as regards young children is to bring conceptions down to their 'little' minds. If we give up this foolish prejudice, we shall be astonished at the range and depth of children's minds. And, we shall perceive that their relation to God is one of those 'first-born affinities,' which it is our part to help them to make good. A mother knows how to speak of God as she would of an absent father, with all the evidences of his care and love. She knows how to make a child's heart beat high in joy and thankfulness; as she thrills him with the thought 'my Father made them all,' while his eye delights in flowery meadow, great tree, flowing river. 'His are the mountains and the valleys, his the resplendent rivers, whose eyes they fill with tears of holy joy.' And this is not beyond children. (Charlotte Mason, Philosophy of Education)
Remember that when children are created they come with amazing minds, creative ideas and a spiritual component that wants and needs to connect with the living God. It is often we as parents that complicate the uncomplicated and limit their understanding through our disappointments in life and sometimes far from robust faith.
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