The path to legacy - it may not be what you think it is

Leader often pursue the wrong path when it comes to leaving a legacy. Often for Christian leaders it is building some ministry or enterprise and all of our energy, time and focus goes into that pursuit. As one who leads I know that temptation to do this. Certainly we want what we lead to be healthy, transformational and missional, making a difference in our world. However, I am convinced that even these great efforts are not the path to legacy, to making a multi-generational difference into the future.

That path, the legacy path is far more about lives we have deeply impacted who in turn deeply impact other lives in an ever widening disciplemaking group. Think about this: Jesus could have started an institution, but He did not. He changed the world by discipling twelve guys who in turn discipled others and they others and the world was changed. Paul did the same. Sure he started churches, the Bride of Jesus because these should be the training ground of disciples but he personally invested in men like Timothy and Titus and others (2 Timothy 2:2) who did the same.

It is time to reclaim the Great Commission which says, "Go and make disciples of all nations." That is, multiply men and women who are deeply committed, all-in followers of Jesus who rather than focusing primarily on institutions, focus on life on life transformation of others who will in turn do the same. This is the great need in the church today and it is the great need if the Gospel is actually going to penetrate our communities. 

I have led a church, a mission agency, and various other ministries but I firmly believe these are not my legacy. My legacy will be my two kids and grand kids following Jesus with all their hearts and the individuals whom I have poured my life into over the years, those upon whom I have had deep influence. They in turn have and will have deep influence on others and the circle of fully devoted, all in disciples, will continue to grow - long after my name is forgotten by everyone except maybe for a few dusty books sitting on shelves.

I spend a lot of time mentoring and coaching people who will in turn do the same with others. Some are in my tribe (denomination), many are not. For Jesus there is only His tribe. Don't be fooled about what you leave behind. The path to legacy is often counter intuitive. It is not institutions but people both within those institutions and outside. If you want a legacy, be sure you are investing in the right place.

One last thing. One does not have to be a leader to have this kind of legacy. In fact, there are far more non-leaders who understand this principle than leaders who are too busy building something. Every Christ follower is called to make disciples and in doing so those who do have far more influence than many leaders do.

When I ask people who was the most influential man in the New Testament other than Jesus the answer is often Paul. Actually I disagree. I believe it was Barnabas who discipled Paul intensely for a period of years. Barnabas understood the model of Jesus and because he invested in Paul, the greatest theologian of the Scriptures was developed. Something to think about!

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

If you are fifty plus this question is for you

Questions are amazingly powerful tools to challenge our thinking and to rock our paradigms. Just one question, if the Holy Spirit has been working in someones heart can crystallize an idea, a dream or awaken a passion that has been dormant. Questions are powerful which is why I love to ask them and see what happens.

Here is a question I often ask of people in their forties or early fifties. By then, they have a pretty good understanding of themselves and they have yet unfulfilled dreams - which often lay beneath their own consciousness: "What do you want to accomplish between now and when you retire?"

That question, to a fifty something has meaning because they know that the years ahead of them are dwindling and fewer than the years behind them. For those truly motivated by influence they also want to make those years count in a larger way than the years that have already passed.

Here is why the question is so powerful. Often, the answer that comes is not consistent with the job or ministry that the person currently is in. Which means that the dream they have is not going to be fulfilled where they are - and the question brings to the surface - often over a period of reflection - dreams that God has laid on hearts that to be fulfilled will mean re-evaluating their current job or ministry.

This does not mean that they are in the wrong place now. God uses our now to prepare us for our future. What it does mean is that in order to fulfill the dream or passion God has laid on their heart that they may need to move to a different ministry platform.

Several years ago a pastor in his fifties came to my office to talk. He had a great church and a productive ministry. But as he looked at his last run his heart desire was to influence, mentor and equip many church leaders. This led him eventually to join ReachGlobal in the capacity of a global equipper of church leaders. His prior ministry was great. His new ministry answered the passion in his heart to equip multiple leaders and expand his legacy.

If you have not asked that question yourself, I challenge you to do so. If you have the opportunity to ask others, try it. Questions are powerful. This one is both powerful and enlightening.

Legacy

I love old grave yards. Every headstone has a story and one gets only a glimpse of that story by what is written and the years that were lived. Mostly you are left wondering - and wishing one knew more. You are given a name, two dates and perhaps a small glimpse of their live - especially on older gravestones.

Actually the most important letter on a gravestone is not a letter at all but a dash. The dash between the date of birth and the date of death. That dash represents the time that God gave that individual to make a difference for Him. So, I wonder, what happened during their dash between birth and death - their allotted time?

For those who were people of faith- given the verses or attributes carved in stone I wonder what challenges they faced. But mostly I wonder who they influenced for Christ who may be alive today generations later! Because in the end that is what we leave - others we have influenced for Christ who carry on a Godly presence in our world. All of us are the recipients of a Christian witness that goes back in some way to the time of Christ.

It is interesting that most of us cannot remember the name of our great grand parents (apart from those who study their family genealogy) . That is how fast memory fades as each generation looks to the future not the past. But God always remembers - as He does the contribution we made to His kingdom which continues to ripple generation after generation. That is the true story of the headstones of God's people. That is the story they tell. It is the story I want mine to tell long after my name is forgotten.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

A goal worth pursuing

Regular readers of this blog are aware that my father passed away a week ago. It fell to my elder brother Thomas to lead the memorial service on behalf of mom, the ten children and numerous offspring. It was not an easy assignment but he did a masterful job of capturing the person, legacy and most importantly the faith of my dad. 

No one is perfect, not even remotely - something that is often not evident listening to eulogies. I have been to memorial services where the person being described bears no resemblance to the individual I knew. We live in a fallen world where no one escapes the curse of sin and its effects. 

But Thomas caught the essence of Dad and a goal of my life when he said "Dad was not perfect but he kept getting better." To the end, into his mid eighties, he kept getting better as he continued to allow Jesus to renovate his life and as he pursued Him and obedience to Him. That is a goal worth pursuing!

The heart of followership of Jesus is allowing Him to re-image us into the us He created us to be. It starts with our decision to follow Him where He justifies us and forgives our sin. It continues with the ongoing process of spiritual renovation - sanctification - as we allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives. 

The commitment to continue to follow Jesus more closely as we walk through life makes all the difference. It is so easy to settle with what is rather than to pursue what could be. I hope that those who know me best will be able to say, "he was not perfect but he kept getting better." It is a lesson from my father's life and a goal worth pursuing.

The baton has passed: My father's death

My father went to heaven today at age 86. In some ways I lost him a number of years ago when dementia set in but today it was final - for this world. He left ten children, many grand and great grandchildren and many spiritual children.

My life changed today. I am not sure all the ways but I know it did. I will know it next week as well as we lower a casket into a grave.

There is no longer a generation of men ahead of me to die. I am now on the front lines. Mortality took a step closer. I cannot pretend. The grave is ample proof. My father said as much to me years ago when his father died. It was a rare instance of transparency into his heart. He was a private man but less so as the years went by.

Legacy now passes to me. I am part of my father's legacy and it is now mine to pass one on to my children: Jon, Chip and grandson Gavrel. Like my father's it will be flawed by living in a fallen world but still I have choices and those choices and example and relationships and life become the legacy I will one day leave. There is much that I can treasure about the legacy I was handed. There is much I can do about the legacy I hand off. 

Life is precious but it is also limited which is why heaven becomes even more precious. For it is unlimited in its time (there is none), its person (Jesus), and it's wonder. As C.S. Lewis wrote, it is the home we were truly made for. It is the home father was made for and he has now looked into the loving eyes of the One he served and loved. Like Paul, he fought the good fight. Like Paul, not perfectly, but like Paul not timidly either.

There is no unfinished business between us. Fortunately we took care of that years ago. It won't be long until we are reunited as he today is with parents, family and other friends who went before. I am sure there is a party taking place somewhere even as we grieve but grieve well for a life well lived. 

Finishing well is the challenge all of us have. Dad finished well. I desire to finish well. It makes the leaving ever so much more easy for the one who leaves and the ones who are left. For believers there are no final good by's, just temporary ones. 

See also, Legacy. Thoughts on my dad

Legacy: thoughts on my dad

This photo of my parents captures the autumn season of their lives. Especially my father who suffers from dementia and no longer knows who I am - or his other ten children, spouses, 46 grand-kids and 16 great grand kids. His mind is dim but his spirit is kind.

It is hard to watch brilliant minds fade. A civil engineer, Divinity school graduate, Medical Doctor, surgeon, Doctor of Ministry degree, author, father, missionary, hospital founder (Hong Kong), great grandfather and mentor to many who found Jesus through home Bible studies, Sunday School teacher, church planter, Chief of Staff at United Hospital, theologian and the list could go on. All of that is today forgotten by him but not by the many people he touched over the years. Many will be in heaven because of my parents ministry.

It is a reminder that legacy is not about money, name or fame. It is about lives touched. I was once going through the security line at the Minneapolis airport and the TSA agent looked at my licence and name and asked if I was related to Gordon Addington, the surgeon. I said yes. He told me that my dad had invited him over for Christmas one year when he was a janitor at United Hospital. He never forgot that act of kindness for one in the hospital hierarchy who was very low on the scale. But not to dad.

As a youngster I helped him do surgery when trained assistants were hard to find in Hong Kong. We camped and took trips to Macau and explored the hills of Hong Kong. Above all he was consumed by knowing and serving Jesus.

The grandchildren had a wonderful relationship with Dad. He loved them and they loved him.

I look at this photo taken by one of the grand kids and I see a frail, tired, unsteady man. Not long, perhaps for this world. But most of all I see a picture of legacy. A legacy that will last through family and through those he ministered to. I hope that when my feet are unsteady and my mind fading that I too leave behind a lasting legacy.

Forgiveness and legacy

Our ability to either forgive or not forgive those who have wronged us has a direct impact on our legacy. True legacy is not about the success we have accomplished as it is about lives we have impacted.

When we refuse to forgive someone who has wronged us we rob ourselves of the ability to influence or impact them. And we live in the prison of our own unforgiveness because what we cannot forgive we cannot let go of.

The greatest pain I ever encountered was pain inflicted by an individual who over a period of years caused huge emotional turmoil, caused me to leave my job and spread lies and untruths that were deeply hurtful. It was a situation that left me clinically depressed, deeply discouraged, emotionally wounded and my life dreams shattered.

From a human perspective, if anyone did not deserve my forgiveness it was this individual who had violated me so greatly in many ways. He did not deserve to be forgiven, nor did he ever attempt to make things right. But I was left with a dilemma. As long as I held on to the hurt and offense that had been committed, I could not move beyond the pain he had caused.

If, on the other hand, I was willing to offer what he did not deserve, my forgiveness, I could move beyond the prison of the pain, allow that chapter of my life to become a part of my history rather than my present and allow that history to contribute to my personal growth, future difficult people I encountered and mold my character. It is a dilemma all of us face when others have hurt us.

Forgiving this individual in my own heart was one of the hardest things I ever did. The pain he had caused was so severe. But, once I took that step, I was on a journey toward freedom from that pain, even though it took years to finish. Had I not taken that step I would still be imprisoned by bitterness and the memories. Today neither have a hold on my life and the experience has molded me in numerous ways.

When we choose to forgive we not only do what Jesus told us to do but we release the hold that those who have wronged us have on our lives. And, in releasing the bitterness and pain we give God the opportunity to redeem the pain by turning it into ways that God can use it in our lives and in the lives of others.

When we choose not to forgive, we continue to allow those who wronged us to affect our lives negatively (effectively they continue to have power over us) and we prevent God from redeeming the pain and turning it into legacy.

Ministry gives plenty of opportunities to forgive "each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Every time we do that we live as Jesus lived and a bit of grace falls on those we forgive. And, we free ourselves from the possibility of bitterness which will lead us into bondage. Life is not fair - and God often uses the unfairness of life to build our own character and legacy. The issue is not whether we have been treated fairly, it is how will we respond when it happens.

Take a moment and write down the names those who you have not forgiven. Are you willing to forgive them today so that you can live in freedom and allow God to turn their offense into a part of your life’s legacy?

For those fifty and over: think convergence

Much of our lives are spent learning who we are, what our gifting is, where our strengths and weaknesses are and through the experiences of life and work finding out our strongest lane. 

Ironically, it is often in our fifties and sixties and beyond that we have our greatest impact. No longer running on raw energy we are living with greater wisdom, doing less but accomplishing more and seeing greater results. Hopefully we are also comfortable in our own skin with nothing we need to prove and nothing to lose. It is a good place to be.

There is also the greatest possibility of convergence in our lives where our biography, experience, training, gifts and passions come together in a powerful combination for maximum influence and impact. I call this convergence and if you are fifty or over I would encourage you to think about what convergence would look like for you and then ask whether you can arrange your life and work in a way that helps you get there.

We accumulate activities and responsibilities in our personal and work lives over time and often don't take the time to shed those that are old, or that are not truly in our lane of effectiveness. It is like the stuff in our garage that just sits there, of no use to us anymore but we continue to let it accumulate.

Convergence comes when we are able to let go of those things that someone else can do and we are not truly gifted in to focus on areas of passion, skill and greatest impact. I often ask ministry leaders in their fifties what their greatest passion is and then, how could you arrange your life and work so that you spend the greatest amount of time in those areas of passion? Often they have never realized that they could actually do that.

But this is not just for leaders. It is for all of us who want to make an impact in whatever area of life we inhabit. We can declutter our lives for greater focus in areas where God uses us the most. And this is where we find our greatest joy and satisfaction anyway. 

If this was your last day on earth would you be OK with what you accomplished for Jesus?

Every day for each of us is a day of grace - undeserved and uncertain. It is the reality of life. 

Here is my question: If this was your last day on earth would you be OK with what you had accomplished for Jesus? In a fallen world, all of us have regrets but wise people seek to minimize those regrets and fortunately the grace of Jesus covers our many shortcomings. How grateful I am for God's grace, without which we would be lost.

But, we also make choices as to how closely we follow Jesus, how engaged we are in making His name well known and His reputation great, how much we invest of our resources in His Kingdom and how often we spend quality time with Him. Those kinds of choices make the difference between few regrets and many!

The only way I know how to answer this question is to live every day in a way that I believe would please Jesus. Living a life of few regrets is done one day at a time. There is no need for a grand design, just a need for daily faithfulness.

In the end, life is pretty simple:

• Did I love Jesus and pursue Him?
• Did I seek to follow His leading?
• Was I a good husband, father and grandfather? (speaking for my situation)
• Did I use the gifting God gave me for His purposes?
• Was I generous for His work?

When all is said and done, most of the rest of life doesn't matter much. We are great at complicating life but when it comes down to the basics it is pretty simple - and lived one day at a time.

Does your life have focus? Three simple questions.

Every one of us has a call from God on our lives. And no matter what stage of life we are in He wants us to live our lives with purpose, passion and intentionality. Life is precious and it moves quickly. 


Think about this question: What does God want me to accomplish in the next five years? Try to answer that question with three or less descriptors. Focus matters. What does He want you to focus on? Coming to clarity on that one question can make all the difference in our lives.


A second question: How well am I doing in ensuring that my calendar and activity reflect those God given priorities? It is very easy for the urgent to push out the important. Or, for distractions to keep us from focusing on our God given assignment. 


A third question: What do I need to jettison if I am going to accomplish what is truly important. All of us accumulate activities and obligations that over time weigh us down and keep us from focusing on the truly important. It is not a bad thing to let some of it go for a higher calling.


All of us want to leave a legacy. Remember, however that legacies are rarely accidental. They come because we understand God's priorities for our lives and lived them out with intentionality. With that intentionality comes a significant level of joy and satisfaction knowing that we are fulfilling God's calling on our lives.

Liberating personal clarity

There is something very liberating about understanding how God designed us, what we are good at and therefore where we should focus our time and energies. Just as our closets, trunks and garages accumulate stuff that we don't need, so our lives, schedules and commitments accumulate obligations that we don't need and that don't contribute to our legacy because they are not in our lane. Often they are the accumulated expectations of others for us - everyone has a wonderful plan for our lives!


But so does God and it is His plan for our lives that counts the most. And He designed and wired and gifted us for a purpose. When we understand that purpose and live it out we experience great joy and satisfaction. On the other hand, when we are simply accumulating obligations and activities that are not aligned with His purpose, we experience frustration and decreased happiness. 


I was recently talking to a colleague about how busy and without margin his life had become. He had accumulated so much stuff, so many obligations that life was not fun anymore. Further, much of the stuff was not in his primary lane of where he would make the most impact. He is now in the process of a personal "garage sale" to relinquish many of those obligations so that he can focus on what brings him the greatest joy and will make the greatest contribution to the kingdom.


It is liberating to realize that there are things we can say no too, based on the clarity of what God has called us to do. 


Youth does not lend itself to this kind of clarity but by the time we reach our forties, fifties and sixties we have a much better idea of who God made us to be and therefore where we are most effective. It makes sense that we focus our lives in those directions where God wired us to make the greatest impact. And, to feel free to graciously decline those things that take us away from our impact zone.


What is your impact zone? The place where you are in your lane, shine, feel the greatest joy and make the most impact for Jesus? Are you spending most of your time there or have you accumulated all kinds of obligations that actually take you away from your zone?  Do you need to shed some of the stuff of life so that you can live with more focus?

Second half influence

For those who care about influence for the gospel, life is divided into two parts. Our own influence through our life and work and in the second half of life, our intentional mentoring of the next generation of influencers who will carry the baton to the next generation. It is Paul and Timothy and 2 Timothy 2:2. 


A wonderful example is John R W Stott whose world wide influence in my parents generation is tough to beat. Yet for many years prior to his death his primary focus was that of raising up the next generation of Christian leaders. He intentionally multiplied himself by giving himself away and focused less on his personal impact on society and more on the impact that the next generation would make. In doing so his legacy and influence live on in a powerful way. 


This requires a Kingdom heart that is focused not on one's own accolades but on empowering others who will will multiply one's Kingdom influence. It is about the Kingdom, not us. It is about leaving a living legacy in the lives we have influenced who will carry on our work when we are gone. I suspect that there will be many behind the scenes who will receive greater rewards in heaven than many big names whose focus was on their own ministry and legacy rather than on leaving a living legacy through others. 


This applies to wives who mentor the next generation of wives, husbands who mentor and raise up the next generation of Godly husbands, Christian leaders who invest themselves in the next generation of leaders ... anyone who is investing their lives in passing the baton to others who may actually have far more influence than we ever did. 


For Christian leaders, I am convinced that their success is best measured not by what happened while they were in leadership but by what happens when they are gone! Was there stewardship of the ministry about them or the ministry? If the latter they invested significant time and effort into the lives of the next generation of leaders. If the former, they often did not. 


If you are post fifty, who are you investing in? Who are you raising up to take your place behind you? That investment may well be your greatest influence and legacy as you multiply yourself in the lives of others. It is a quiet, behind the scenes work that will seldom be seen but its impact can be profound. It is in giving ourselves away that we have our greatest impact.

Living well and dying well

This morning I received news that a good friend of mine and a ministry leader in Chicago had passed into the arms of Jesus on Saturday night. His had been a hard battle with colon cancer over the past several years and he died in the loving arms of his wife, his hand being held by his daughter. 


Glen lived well! He had given his life to the urban poor and racial reconciliation for decades, being on the forefront of that hard work before the church in the United States was engaged. He and his family walked the walk as they lived in the neighborhood in which they worked. As a white leader, he teamed with an African American leader to forge a new way of thinking about what it meant for whites and blacks to work and worship together for Jesus in the days after the race riots in Chicago, a ministry that continues to this day. In every way, Glen lived well.


It was not an easy walk, including the death of his adopted son in recent years and numerous challenges that come when one is pressing into Satan's territory. Through it all, Glen displayed a kind demeanor, a deep sense of calling and a tenacity that touched all around him. Glen had a theology of life and ministry which He lived out so very well. Glen never became angry with God even when treatments made life incredibly difficult and his energies depleted. He continued to do what he could and spent time with family and friends even welcoming them when he was at home in hospice.


But Glen also had an understanding of death. He fought his diagnosis with all that he had for the sake of his family and ministry but determined that if this was his time that he would die well - and he did. He understood that life is not all there is, and that in fact, the best was yet to come and once he went on hospice he turned his eyes toward his next chapter and died in peace and dignity. 


I spoke to a group of Parish Nurses on Saturday who often minister to those who are dying and they reflected on the difference between the deaths of believers as against non-believers. How peaceful and even holy the moment is when believers take the step into eternal life compared to non-believers. 


Having been on the brink of death on several occasions I know a bit of the inner struggle - but I am determined to live well and to also die well. We live by faith and we die by faith. We neither overestimate the value of this life or underestimate the value of life with Jesus. For those of us in the second half it is something to think about. I look at many who have gone before me and am determined that I too want to die well when the time comes, full of gratitude for the life God has given, full of faith in a loving Father and full of anticipation of finally looking into the eyes of the one who made my life what it was - Jesus.


Let's leave a faithful legacy in life, and in how we face death, as all of us do and where the ultimate test of our faith is tested.

Our bucket list for Jesus

Lot's of us have bucket lists - those things we want to do before we die. One friend of mine wants to play the top 100 golf courses in the world, another to visit all the countries of the world: I have told him it is easy to get into all of them but tough to get out of some of them. Bucket lists are fun, give life color and reflect our various interests.


What about a Jesus bucket list? Things we want to do for Jesus in the years He gives us. Those too are fun and reflect our gifts and spiritual interests - and have meaning for eternity. One couple I know of wants to support 100 children in need and they keep increasing the number to get there. Another wants to give one million dollars in compassion funds to the least of these. Another wants to make one short term trip each year to strengthen pastors in the majority world who get little or no encouragement from others. Mary Ann and I desire all of our neighbors to come to Christ and we work and pray toward that end.


God gave us the ability to dream, imagine and envision what can be. This is part of being made in the image of God. That creativity can be channeled in many directions. One of those directions should be bringing bits of heaven to earth (The Lord's Prayer) wherever we can in line with our gifts and abilities. The world will not be changed by the programs of our churches (good as they are) but by the acts of ordinary men and women living out their God given destiny.


All of us have dreams of things we want to do in this life. Let's add a bucket list for Jesus to those dreams. Many things don't cross the line from time to eternity but these things will.

Steve Jobs and our personal legacies

The news of Steve Jobs death at a young age causes all of us to think about our own mortality and the legacy we will leave. His legacy is amazing! Few people have changed the way so many people do life. My music comes from I Tunes, my reading today is largely on the I Pad, and my I Phone goes wherever I go. Steve was a creative force second to none. And he handled his illness with great dignity.

One of my passions is that all of God's people would realize that they too can leave a great and lasting legacy, one more significant than Steve Jobs because unlike technology (which I love) that will not transcend this world, our legacy can last for all eternity. It is found in the lives we touch, those we introduce to Jesus, and the ripples of spiritual influence that will go on and on from us till the time when Jesus returns. Every time a life is changed by Jesus, an eternal legacy is born.

One of the reasons I am passionate about missions is that I know that through my investment in sharing the Gospel globally I will leave behind a lasting and eternal legacy that touches many nations. There will be little notice when I leave this life, unlike Steve Jobs but I will spend eternity with the joy that many are there because of my commitment to sharing God's Good News in this life. And every one of us can share in that legacy.

We underestimate the impact that our lives have when we simply ripple on those in our circle of influence for Jesus. We will be surprised when we meet Jesus and He says "Well done, good and faithful servant" and we realize that our seemingly normal and inconsequential lives (from a fame standpoint) had an amazing eternal impact. We will realize that acts of kindness and ministry and love that we live out as a normal part of our everyday lives had a cumulative effect for Jesus that we had never imagined.

Never underestimate the legacy you will leave. If our lives are lived faithfully with a focus on pleasing our Lord, it will be greater than you could ever imagine. And it will last for eternity. Because of Jesus, our legacies can transcend even that of amazing people like Steve Jobs.