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A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Monday, December 12, 2022

Advent Series #9. Entering in like Jesus

 


Entering in like Jesus

One of the defining practices of the life of Jesus was the way He was willing to enter into the lives of others. Tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, marginalized individuals, the family of Lazarus, the blind, the lame, the disciples, and the sick. Jesus didn't simply pass them on the street or say nice things or look the other way: He entered in! In fact, this was at the center of the Advent, of the incarnation. As John said in John 1:14, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us." He didn't just send a prophet or a word but He personally came and lived with us. He entered into our lives!

There is no practice that is more like Jesus than when we enter into the lives of others, Into their pain, their lives, and their situations. This was the parable of the Good Samaritan. It is so very easy to walk by the messy situations of others. It is easy to say nice things, wish people well, and tell them we will pray for them. But Jesus, like the Good Samaritan, stopped and met a need. He was willing to change His schedule, enter into the pain of others and meet their needs. 

We live in an individualistic society that places our needs first and many don't want to be bothered by the messy situations of others. We have our own problems to solve, our own financial issues to deal with and our schedules are full. Yet the incarnational life is always a life of "entering into" the lives of others. If we want to be Jesus to others we will look at those around us with the eyes of Jesus, becoming acutely aware of their needs and situations and then, like the Good Samaritan do what we can to help our neighbor, our friend, or our acquaintance. In His name. With His love.

How do we even know the situations others face? One of the things that Jesus did was to take the time to talk to people. If you want to know what people are dealing with all it takes are some questions. It is taking the time to spend time and listen. And having listened, to "enter in" where we can and bring the hope and healing of Jesus to those who need it.

My friend Glenn Paterson passed away a week ago. His father abandoned him as a child. Just left. No good by. No further contact. It was a massive lifelong pain that never left him. But Jesus met him and Glenn spent his life looking for the marginalized, the kid in trouble, those who had no hope: entering into their lives. His widow, Mary, told me tonight that one time, they were going on vacation to Florida and he said, hey, we are stopping to pick up a kid. She said, "you mean he is going on vacation with us?" He said yes. They were already in the car and it was the first time she had heard about it. A few minutes later they pick up a kid who was the biggest bully in his school. And off to vacation and a lifelong relationship they go.

Glenn's memorial service was full. Mary said that almost every one of those present had been in their home for a meal. I have on several occasions. This was a couple who entered into the lives of hundreds and impacted many more. They lived the incarnational life and there are hundreds of stories like the vacation story that people tell. 

The advent is about "entering in." Jesus calls us to enter into the lives of others with His love. We are in His family because He entered into our lives. He invites us to join Him by entering into the lives of others.

Father, thank you for coming to dwell with us. To enter into my life. Give me a passion to live like you by entering into the lives of others. Amen


Friday, December 9, 2022

The Advent Series #8. Who do You need to be Reconciled with?

 


Who do You need to be Reconciled with?

Think for a moment about how divided our society is. We are deeply divided by politics, preferences, and theology, and division has become more common than unity or peace between individuals. What is most interesting is that these divisions are also common among God's people and Jesus came to bring peace between us and God and between us and other members of His family. 

In fact, think of the significance of the announcement to the shepherds in Bethlehem on the eve of Jesus' birth. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today, in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Peace is one of the most elusive of humanity's desires. It has always been so since our forefathers left the garden. And into a world of conflict, the Savior came to be our peace (Ephesians 2:14) and reconcile us to God. And, to reconcile us to one another (Galatians 3:26-29). The words and message of reconciliation and peace blanket the New Testament.

Think about this. Jesus became man and died so that we could be reconciled to God. And then He called us to be reconciled to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ and to live at peace to the greatest extent of our ability with all people. If Jesus cared so deeply about reconciliation, we should as well - starting with our families where estrangement is so common, our churches where unity is often compromised, among fellow believers where we are too quick to live with critical spirits, and a society that loves to divide rather than unite.

And the thing about Advent is that God did not wait until we asked for reconciliation. He took the first step. He came to us when we were not looking for Him. He humbled himself (Philippians 2:1-11) rather than waiting for us to humble ourselves. What gets in the way of our taking the first step? Ego and pride. This is why it is so fascinating that Jesus describes himself as "gentle and humble in heart" (Matthew 11:29). 

And we are called to emulate that humility in our relationships with one another. "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:5-8).

And God did not wait until we asked for reconciliation. He took the first step. He came to us when we were not looking for Him. He humbled himself (Philippians 2:1-11) rather than waiting for us to humble ourselves.

This raises some questions worth considering:
  • Is there someone I am estranged from that I can attempt to be reconciled to?
  • If there is, am I, like Jesus willing to humble myself and take the first step even if I am the aggrieved?
  • Are there ways that I can help bring reconciliation between others who are estranged?
  • How can I help bring reconciliation between races and people groups who live in estrangement?
Reconciliation is a deeply Christian value rooted deeply in the incarnation where the God of Scripture did what no other God of any religion had ever done: Became a creature so that the creatures could be reconciled to the Creator. Every time I pray for reconciliation, attempt reconciliation, or humble myself to bring reconciliation, I mirror the character of Jesus. The mark of a believer is that he/she has been reconciled to God in Jesus and in turn, brings reconciliation between peoples who are in conflict.

Father, thank you for taking the step that brought me into a relationship with you. Give me the humility and courage to reconcile with those I have differences with to the extent that I can. Help me to emulate you in bringing peace to a divided world. Amen.


Thursday, December 8, 2022

The Advent Series #7. What is your Vision for your Life?

 


What is your Vision for your Life?

What is your vision for your life? Think about that for a moment! When you come to the end of your days, what do you hope you look back on? Many of us are focused on the wrong things, or more concretely, our personal vision is often too small. 

Jesus loved to simply invite people to come follow Him. And amazingly, many did. His band of twelve included people from many walks of life. Ordinary people. In fact, very ordinary people from society's point of view. But Jesus was inviting them to something big and bold. To join Him in building His kingdom. In fact, this was His announcement: The Kingdom of God is upon us.

In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus has a conversation around one of the most significant issues we all face: anxiety and worry about life including whether we will have enough and the whole pursuit of wealth and security. All of us have lived there or do live there. But Jesus says, don't worry about all that. Your Father knows your needs. And then He challenges the listeners to elevate their thinking to a higher place and a higher vision. "But seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." 

Basically, He is saying, your vision for your life can be about you or it can be about God and what He is accomplishing on this earth. The first is common and mundane. The second is an amazing opportunity to join Him in changing our world and bringing His values to the places we have influence, work and inhabit. 

The incarnation is an invitation to a life of much greater meaning and significance. It is no longer about us but about joining Him in His work in our world. It is the difference between our own small dreams and God's transformational work to change what is to what He designed it to be.

This is why Paul writes in Ephesians 2:10, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." The word "workmanship" there means a unique work of art. You are unique. You are one of a kind. You have been gifted with unique gifts which God prepared in advance for you. Why? He wants you to join Him in His work - His Kingdom work and to join Him in changing our world and bringing His values to the places we have influence, work and inhabit. 

That is a life of significance. Don't settle for the common and ordinary. Accept the invitation of the incarnate God - Jesus - to join Him in what He is going to accomplish in our world. It is desperately needed!

Father, help me not settle for small dreams but to join you in all that you are going to accomplish in our world. Help me follow you fully and use the unique gifts you have given me for your purposes in this world. Amen


Wednesday, December 7, 2022

The Advent Series #6. Redefined Faith

 


Redefined Faith

It is incredibly easy for our Biblical faith to become corrupted and to take us down roads that were never intended by the author of our faith to be followed. We substitute religious rituals for a personal relationship with Christ. We take practices and make out of them legalism where what it means to be a follower of God is all about the rules and the keeping of the rules defines our faith. Or, we may elevate "truth" to a place where there is no room for "grace" and we become hard in our attitudes toward others, denying them the very mercy and grace that God has extended to us. 

Such aberrations of what God intended for us rob us of our joy and make our "faith" a chore rather than a gift and a blessing. It is why Gandhi famously said in 2016, "I'd be a Christian if it were not for the Christians." He loved the teachings of Christ but he was repelled by the attitudes and actions of many Christians. Many are today as well!

The religious world into which Christ was born had lost much of the meaning of what it meant to follow God. People were not treated as if they were made in the image of God. The rules and regulations of the Pharisees strangled the last ounce of joy from the Jewish people. Legalism had supplanted the meaning of what had been originally taught. The religious show was more important than the attitude of the heart. Rules had been heaped upon rules till it was impossible to even remember them all. 

When it says that Jesus appeared as a light in the darkness and came full of Grace and Truth in John 1, that applied to the religious establishment as well. With the incarnation came One from God who redefined what a relationship with God looked like and restored the original intent of what was taught in the Scriptures. It was not a redefinition of what was taught in the Old Testament but a restoration of what God intended and what man had corrupted.

Think of the Sermon on the Mount, for instance. His teaching was radical and countercultural. He said "you have heard it said but I tell you" time and again. And then He would bring them back to the original intent of what God had revealed. What they had been taught was a corruption of what God had originally taught. He redefined prayer, fasting, treasures, worry and anxiety, the judging of others, the generosity of God, the basis upon which we build our lives, and what it means to be blessed in the beatitudes. In each case, He brought the people back to the original teaching of Scripture and scuttled the aberrations that had been allowed to supplant it. 

In the incarnation, Jesus showed us what faith really was and meant. It was a relationship with Him and the Father fueled by a love that brought obedience and a life lived for His Kingdom rather than our own. It was a life of repentance and obedience that resulted in a supernatural joy and purpose. 

One of the best ways to celebrate Advent is to renew our acquaintance with the Gospels. It is here that we see what faith looks like in real life. It is here that the God of the Universe shows us how to live and how to love Him and those around us. It is here that we see misconceptions of faith tossed aside and the essence of what it means to follow Him demonstrated. It is here that we discover the character of our God in His person in a way that we can emulate and follow.

In the incarnation, Jesus redefined faith and restored it to its original intent. It is something we need to do all the time for we are as easily waylaid as those in His day.

Father, thank you that in the incarnation I can see you as you want to be seen. That I can learn from your example and your teaching and keep my faith genuine and authentic in its character and conduct. Bless you, for your willingness to show up in person and help us see You as You truly are. Amen



Tuesday, December 6, 2022

The Advent Series #5. God's Amazing Heart of Love

 


God's Amazing Heart of Love

Have you ever considered the question of when God knew that He would invade our world with His son? Many people assume that He made that decision when He had to evict Adam and Eve from the Garden because of their sin. Now, His perfect creation had been broken, Adam and Eve were estranged and it would take the death of His son to pay for their - and their descendants - sin. Plan A had failed so now we needed a divine rescue in Plan B. 

That would be an amazing decision on God's part. Especially in light of His creation's rebellion.

But the story is more intriguing than that. Far more!

The decision to send a savior into the world was actually made before the world was created. When God made the decision to create our planet and its inhabitants He also knew that those inhabitants would choose to rebel against Him. He knew there would a fall before there was a creation. He knew that if that creation was going to be rescued it would take a Savior. He knew that the cost of that Savior would be His Son's life. 

He knew! And yet He created this planet anyway! That is total, irrational, divine love for people who would reject Him and cost Him His Son to rescue. In His decision to create us, He was also making the decision to redeem us and that would involve His Son becoming like us, living with us and dying for us. 

In Revelation 13:8, we read this intriguing statement. "The lamb who was slaughtered before the world was made." How can that be? Very simply God had already chosen to rescue us through His Son before the world was even created. In fact, this was plan A from the very beginning!

Many of us struggle with understanding God's love for us. We feel unworthy - and we are. We know we don't deserve His love and we don't. We find it hard to believe that he forgives us for our sin but He does. This struggle with our own unworthiness keeps us from living in the center of His grace and love all too often. We don't feel worthy to be there so we tiptoe around that grace and love rather than living in its center. 

But God would say this to you: "Before I created you I knew you would sin. And I had already created a solution for that sin so that you could know me fully. It was the incarnation and the gift of My Son. That is how much I love you. That is how deeply I want to be in fellowship with you. Before you were I was making a way for you to know me."

"Before you were I had planned that Jesus would come and live among you so that you would have a perfect High Priest who understood your situation and could walk with you through any events of your life. Before you were I knew your name and wanted to adopt you as one of my forever family." 

You see, the Lamb of God was slain before the foundations of the world. For you! That is God's amazing heart of love. For you.

Father, as I celebrate this Christmas season that heralds your coming. Let me never forget the amazing heart of love that lies behind this divine Gift of Your Son. You gave him to us before we were. Thank You. And give me a heart of gratitude for that gift today - and every day. Amen.


Monday, December 5, 2022

The Advent Series #4. The Incarnation and Hope

 


The Incarnation and Hope

None of us can live without hope. When hope dies all is lost emotionally as those who suffer from deep depression know. All of us need hope in some area of life. It may be that a relationship will be reconciled, an illness cured, depression and sadness lifted or some life circumstance fixed and healed. 

The incarnation - the birth of Christ - is all about hope. Hope that life can be different. Hope that sin can be forgiven. Hope that God will stay with us. Hope that there is a future for us. Hope that God's promises are for us today. When you think of the incarnation when God became man so that man could know God, think of hope. 

On the eighth day after the birth of Jesus He was presented at the temple for His circumcision. There was an elderly man present. We read the account in Luke 2:25-35.

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God saying:

"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."

The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.

What sustained Simeon was hope. What Simeon communicated to Mary and Joseph was that this baby was the hope of salvation for all people. Both Gentiles and Jews. In fact, he was now ready to die as he had seen the hope of the world. 

The Incarnation speaks of hope for each of us. We live in the in-between time for the Savior has come with His Kingdom, yet we still live in a world that is broken and sinful. That will change with His second coming which is an amazing hope. But the coming of Jesus to enter into our lives, our messiness, our dysfunctions, our joy, and our pain gives us hope that things can be different, that healing can come, that we are not alone, and that we have an eternal future as well as a life of meaning and significance now. 

This is a real hope described by Paul in Romans 8 this way. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how well he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written, "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That is hope and it all stems from the incarnation when God chose to enter our world and our lives with His identification with us. Hope comes ultimately from God who is able to meet our needs, change our hearts and invade our lives. He came to give us the hope of Himself. 

Father, thank you for your identification with us through your birth, life, death, and resurrection. Help me today to focus not on my problems but on your presence and the hope that you make available to me. Amen


Sunday, December 4, 2022

The Advent Series #3: New Beginnings

 


New Beginnings

Have you ever needed a new beginning? Needed it badly? Do you need one now? This is the story of advent. It is about hope and new beginnings for people who need it badly. Into a world of need, sorrow, disappointment, injustice, poverty, and the brokenness of life generally, a savior came to bring new beginnings. To bring hope. To renew our joy and to walk with us through the darkest days we face. And the good ones. 

In the days of the prophet Isaiah, hundreds of years before His birth, the prophet spoke of renewed hope. It is found in Isaiah 9:5-7.

"Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of the Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the nations, by the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan -

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; On those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder. For as in the day of Midian's defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor. Every warrior's boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire. 

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

Into the darkness and gloom, light will come. Moreover He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Think about those four names. The savior who is coming will be our counselor - providing light for our lives. He will be a father to us, the perfect father and an everlasting father. He will be the Mighty God with the power to change us, to change our circumstances and to change lives on every side. And finally, he will be the Prince of Peace. Bringing peace between us and God, between us and others, and between peoples and races that have been divided. This is the One you have invited into your life. He is those things to you today.

John chapter one mirrors this theme of light coming into darkness. Speaking of Christ it says, "In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness" (John 1:4).

What did Jesus bring with Him?  John says He came full of grace and truth. Grace to enter into our lives and truth to understand our need for Him, His salvation and how we should be living. This is what new beginnings are made of. This is why new beginnings are possible. Whatever you need today, you have a counselor, A God of mighty power, an eternal father and one who brings peace.

Father, Thank you for new beginnings. I need a new beginning in my life today. Bring me hope today as your light penetrates my life and my circumstances. Amen


Saturday, December 3, 2022

The Advent Series #2, The Great Disrupter


 

THE GREAT DISRUPTER

God is the great disrupter! And the incarnation was the greatest disruption our world had ever encountered. A baby is born in the humblest of places to the most common of people. No Netflix series like The Crown to tell the story. This was a birth that would change the equation of our world forever. He was called "The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world." And He came "full of grace and truth." (John 1:9; 14).

This child would disrupt the world of His day and for all eternity! He would defeat the enemy Satan whose downfall was first predicted on the day Adam and Eve were evicted from the garden (Genesis 3:15). In that moment of judgment, God has also a word of grace, for one male offspring of Eve would one day appear who would crust Satan forever. Now the disrupter had come!

This child would disrupt the social constructs of our world. In His presence, women would no longer be marginalized but elevated starting with a sixteen-year-old girl who became His mother. In His presence, the poor and the children would be given honor. In His presence, all would be invited to the table to eat and drink and learn from Him, especially those on the margins of society and those that polite society did not eat with. He would leave behind the church - His family made up of every race and color, slave and free, Jew and Gentile rich and poor who together would penetrate every corner of the world with His grace and truth.

This child would disrupt the social paradigms of power and influence. No longer would the rich and famous be those who wielded the greatest influence. No, it would be people who had no power to speak of except the power of God. Paul writes, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our mortal body" (2 Corinthians 4:7-11). 

This child would turn conventional wisdom on its head. Now the blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn for their sin, the humble would inherit the earth, those who hungered and thirsted for righteousness would be filled, the merciful would be shown mercy, the pure in heart would see God, peacemakers would be called sons of God and the persecuted would be blessed and inherit the kingdom of God. (Matthew 5). This was not the way of society but this was the way of God.

And, if you know Christ, this child would disrupt your life forever, cleansing you of sin without any work on your part, giving you purpose to join Him in His work, gifting you with His Spirit to walk with you each day, and giving you hope for the future. Empowering you to live lives that break the bondage of addiction and sin and do extraordinary things on His behalf.

As you think of Advent, give thought to all the ways that the world - and your life has been changed and disrupted by the God of the universe choosing to become one of us so that we could once again know Him. That is the craziest notion in all religious notions, yet it is exactly what happened in the incarnation.

Father, thank you for disrupting the world with your presence. A baby who was actually the king of the universe, coming incognito into a needy world and our needy life to disrupt, bring life, and forever change the equation of our lives. Amen



Thursday, December 1, 2022

The Advent Series #1, Emmanuel: God with us

 



The Advent Series

December 1, 2022

Emmanuel: God with Us

 

On this first day of December, take a moment to reflect on the state of our world. The cold has settled into Ukraine where the slaughter continues. In Europe, heating bills are extraordinarily high. The economy has seen better days and in our own nation, the divides are great. In addition, each of our own families has unique challenges that concern us. This year the global population has passed the 8 billion mark, and there is famine in significant parts of our globe. Covid continues to be an issue in many countries.

There was another day when life was bleak, and hope was lost. It was in the time of the prophet Isaiah that the Lord gave this promise to Israel: Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. This was to be a sign of hope and that ancient sign predicted the coming of Christ into a lost and dark world full of needy people.

Immanuel is my favorite name for Jesus because it means “God with us.” With the coming of Christ, there would never be a time when God’s people would be alone and without Him. No matter what your situation today, God is with you and Jesus came to make that a reality. This is no small thing. The creator who had been rejected by His creation would come as one of the created and dwell among us so that we could once again know the creator.

Many of us lament the state of the world today. Or our personal circumstances. But the theologian Carl Henry made the astute observation that “the early church didn’t say, ‘Look what the world is coming to!’ They said, ‘Look what has come into the world.’” The coming of Immanuel changed everything. Now God was with us. He chose to become one of us. And at his ascension, He left Himself behind to live within us in the form of the Holy Spirit. You are not alone! We are not alone!

John put it this way in his Gospel. “The Word became flesh and lived for a while among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of Grace and truth” (John 1:14). Grace to meet us in our individual brokenness and truth to lead us to a new life in Christ. No two words better describe the One who is with us: Immanuel.

I would encourage you to make this Advent season the season of Immanuel: God with us. Whatever your situation and whatever your challenges today you are not alone. He is with you. He is Immanuel.

Father, thank you for sending one to be with me. Thank you that He came full of grace and truth. Remind me often this December that behind the lights, trees, gifts, and parties is the God of the universe who came to be with us. Amen.



Thursday, September 29, 2022

Best Practice Board Behaviors




 We give each other grace


Boards debate ideas and options and must deal with difficult decisions. Without grace toward one another and each other's viewpoints, conflict can create animosity and relational issues. Grace allows us to wade in and speak truthfully in a context of peace.



We speak the truth as we understand it

Unless we share what is actually on our minds, issues cannot be properly discussed, and options are left unaddressed. Too many board members are unwilling to speak candidly in meetings and end up talking about the issues elsewhere or living with frustration. Grace allows candid dialogue. We are responsible for sharing the truth as we understand it.



We show patience toward one another especially when we disagree

Disagreements are inevitable on a board. In fact, if there was no disagreement, a board would not be necessary. It is in the confluence of opinions, options and ideas that the best decisions are made. But getting to those great ideas requires patience with one another.



We listen carefully

The best board members are those who listen carefully and thoughtfully to others. Wisdom cannot be mined without careful listening and evaluation. The best board members are those who thoughtfully listen. When they speak others tend to listen.



We meet without a personal agenda

Boards exist for the good of the organization and its mission. Decisions are not about us or getting our way. It is what is best for the organization and its mission. Board members who must have their own way hurt the work of the board and often the organization itself.



We take a humble posture

Humility is at the heart of all good leadership. Our leadership is not about us and we do not possess all wisdom. The best leadership comes from humble leaders and board members who believe that the best decisions are corporately made. Humble board members learn at each meeting. Prideful members are simply focused on their own agenda.



We engage in robust dialogue without hidden agendas or personal attacks

Robust dialogue is the coinage of good boards. The ability to speak truth, disagree, talk through issues and even be emotional or passionate about an issue. This is healthy with two caveats: No personal attacks - it is not about people but about the mission; and no hidden agendas but only honest dialogue.


Monday, September 26, 2022

Stupid Corporate Policies and Toxic Culture

 



I recently spoke with an individual who worked for a major Home Improvement store in Rockford, IL. He didn't look too happy so I asked him how his day had gone. Terrible he said. "I'm looking for a new job."


Here is what happened. He carries a walkie-talkie on his belt. Using the restroom, the walkie fell off and into the toilet making it inoperative. He was told that $200.00 would be taken out of his paycheck to pay for another. His supervisor told him that he was unable to do anything - it was policy. The store manager said, I don't like to do this but it is policy. 


He immediately went online to look for another job. When I spoke with him that night, he said he had an interview for the following day.


Think about this. The company valued the walkie-talkie more than they valued their employee who had significant experience in the lumber department. Just that day he had helped a customer design a large deck and sold the requisite materials.


The company just lost a valued employee. Consider the cost of finding and training a new individual compared to the cost of a walkie-talkie. 


Other employees and friends will develop an opinion about this company based on how it treats its people. It won't be a positive opinion.


Clearly, the store manager and the individual who supervised this employee are unempowered and were unable to intervene on his behalf. After all, it's corporate policy.


Why would anyone work for a company that values a $200 piece of equipment (damaged accidentally) over a good employee? Not me. I will not give the company my future business - knowing the story.


Organizational culture matters. So do your priorities. And, culture and policies always reflect those priorities. This was a classic case of stupid corporate policies and a toxic culture.


Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Ten Self Management Principles that will Impact your Leadership

 



Healthy leaders have learned the art of self-management, knowing who they are how they act and react, and the model they set directly impacts those who work under their leadership. There are ten critical self-management principles that all leaders should pay attention to.

Our Attitudes

Leaders do not have the luxury of being careless with their attitudes - toward people, situations, or life. One of the jobs of a leader is to inspire others toward healthy action, encourage the staff, and maintain a positive outlook on life, even when life is not cooperating. Their attitudes impact everyone around them.

Our Emotions

All of us have emotions. Leaders learn to manage their emotions so that their emotions do not cause them trouble. Think of how angry eruptions and words spoken in the heat of emotion cause harm to people. Leaders who cannot control their emotions cause uncertainty for their staff. It has been the downfall of many otherwise bright leaders.

Our Empathy

Without empathy, leaders are not seen as caring individuals but as cold and lacking concern. Some people have a lot of natural empathy. When that is not the case, leaders must cultivate the practice of empathy. Empathy is the key to healthy relationships, and relationships are the key to leadership.

Our Self Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to discern how we are perceived by others and how our actions, attitudes, and words impact others. Lack of self-awareness causes great misunderstanding and assumptions by others that we don't care. Leaders who are not naturally self-aware need coaching and feedback from others if they will lead successfully.

Our Focus

Focused leaders develop focused staff, while the opposite is also true. Good leaders hold themselves to a high standard of discipline in their work, including eliminating those things they should not do and focusing on the most strategic.

Our Empowerment

It is easy to control. It is harder to properly empower, but that is the key to a healthy team, and healthy leaders are rigorous in empowering others within boundaries to accomplish their work.

Our Boundaries

Boundaries are the things we do not allow in our behavior and in the behavior of others because it is hurtful to the culture we want to create. In effect, leaders set the boundaries for what is out of bounds within the organization or team.

Our Example

We lead most powerfully by example. When our stated commitments and examples are not in alignment, the result is cynicism. When they are in alignment, staff know that we are serious. Examples speak louder than words.

Our Humility

Everyone thinks they are humble, but that is the insidious nature of pride. Humility comes when we know our strengths are acutely and equally aware of our shadow side and our need for others. Humility is cultivated through time with God and a great deal of introspection.

Our Service

Few things speak louder than our commitment to serve those we lead and help them be all they can be. For leaders, life is not about us but about others and the mission that binds us together. The more we serve, the better leaders we become.

Each of these ten areas of a leader's life must be practiced intentionally for successful, healthy leadership.


Monday, May 9, 2022

A, B and C Team Members

 




Potential or current team members can be categorized as A, B, or C Team players. This is not about being a good or bad person but about being able to play well on your team.

A-team players are self-directed, highly competent, committed to the team, and hard-working. They are committed to your values and mission, require little management, and are results-oriented. A Team players have high EQs, work well with others, and have good self-awareness. They live and breathe the culture and the mission.

B-Team players are committed to the team, work hard, buy into your values and mission, are results-oriented, and have high EQ, but may require more direction. Generally, B-team players are less creative or entrepreneurial than A-team players, but given concrete direction, they will do their work diligently and faithfully.

C-Team players may or may not be competent (some are very competent and may even be  'stars'). But they have a fatal flaw that disqualifies them from serving on your team. Disqualifiers include lack of tangible results, laziness, lack of buy-in or adherence to your mission or values, low EQ that disrupts relationships on the team or elsewhere, inability to work productively as a team player, or immaturity requiring constant management. 

Let me say what many in the Christian world are unwilling to say: C Team players do not belong on our teams, no matter how 'nice' they are or how long they have been with you. To allow them to stay is to condemn the rest of the team to frustration and to compromise the organization's mission. Remember, we are using God's resources to further God's Kingdom. We are responsible to our donors, the Kingdom, and the organization's mission to ensure that we deliver on the mission.

The question one needs to ask about C-Team players is whether the fatal flaw can be dealt with so the individual can move from a C-Team player to a B-Team player. People operating at a C-Team level in terms of results are in the wrong job (wrong seat), so you may want to do some testing and try an alternate job if one is available. What is not wise is to leave an incompetent person in place. Your credibility as a leader will be legitimately tarnished with the rest of your team if you do not deal with performance issues - or other fatal flaws.

No matter how competent an individual is, if they don't live your values or believe in your mission, they don't belong on your team. Your culture and mission are sacred, and those who don't live both do not belong on your team. Culture is fragile and critical. Those who don't live the culture are hurting you no matter how smart and competent they are. This is evidenced in many ways, especially in how they treat others. No one who violates others should be on the team. They will destroy your team. Anyone who uses people like objects rather than appreciating them as people will help you build a healthy culture.

Before deciding whether someone is a C-Team player, ask whether they have ever been coached or mentored. And whether anyone has ever been honest with them regarding problematic issues. If not, you owe it to them to put them through a process to see if they can be retooled and brought up to a B-team level.

A and B Team folks are the heart of any good team and organization. In some higher-level jobs, you will need A-Team players. In many jobs, a solid, faithful B Team player is precisely what you need. Know that you need and work to fill positions based on that need.

One of the realities of organizations is that someone who is an A or B Team player at one phase of an organization's life can slip to a B or a C at another. Most people have a built-in "capacity ceiling" where they cease to be effective. Thus, a youth worker who was a star when she had 20 youth in her group (she could personally relate to 20) starts to slip when she has 60 (she cannot relate to 60 and is not able to build a team to help her).

It may be a case of being unable to multiply themselves to lead a larger number of people, or they have just quit growing (an all too common scenario). If coaching and mentoring do not solve the issue, you may have to move them to another seat on your bus or help them, redemptively, find a seat on another bus. What you cannot do is allow someone to function at a sub-standard level without directly impacting the rest of your team and the results of your ministry. At any stage of your ministry's life, having the right people in the right seat is critical if the ministry is going to develop to the next level of effectiveness.

Your first responsibility as a leader is to ensure the health of your organization while always acting redemptively when a change is needed. People who are not doing well are usually not in their sweet spot, and they often know it. Leaving them there is not fair to the organization and others on your team, and in the end, it is not in the best interests of the one who cannot play at the level they need to play at.

Sunday, May 8, 2022

What the Gospels teach us about how we should relate to and treat others

 



I am convinced that an understanding of how Jesus related to people is critical to our own interactions - at least as believers. There are four Gospels which is maybe a sign that we were to pay attention to them.

It is intriguing that we read in John 1:14 that Jesus came full of grace and truth: in that order. My observation is that those who claim to be Christ-followers love "truth." Just read social media and listen to those who share their thoughts in social media spaces. There are plenty of our versions of the truth. I say versions because not everything we call truth is actually God's truth. But absent all too often is grace.

Unless he was speaking to the Pharisees who were serial grace killers and legalists, Jesus negotiated conversations with amazing grace. Take the woman at the well in John 4. She was an individual with a broken life, living in immorality and deeply in need of truth. Jesus engages her without judgment and with amazing grace. He acknowledges her brokenness but did so in a way that did not scare her off or shame her. 

In fact, even though he acknowledged her brokenness, she promptly went and called her village to come and meet this man. She said  “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him." Now she would never have done this if Jesus had not led with grace rather than a harsh truth.

Truth without grace is not Jesus yet we practice it all the time. We judge others for their sin, we say things that lack the fruit of the Holy Spirit, we treat people poorly as if we have the moral right to do so and we do it in the name of God. I suspect that when we do so we are not speaking for God, and certainly not like God. Those of us who know Jesus only know Him because He showed us grace - amazing grace and invited us to Himself.

The lack of grace and the focus on truth and our requisite judgmental attitudes is a large reason that people are not attracted to us, to our congregations, and ultimately to Jesus. He came to us full of grace and truth. People may listen to truth but generally only when that truth is full of grace. As Gandhi famously said, I like Jesus but I just don't like Christians. He did not see them as nice people.

I have been the recipient of harsh truth as well as amazing grace by others. Which of those do you think healed my heart? Which of those do you think encouraged me to look again at Jesus? I would guess that you have had the same experience. I would also guess that you can name those who treated you like Jesus did and those who didn't.

Growing up in an evangelical tradition that majored in truth at the expense of grace, I have been more and more attracted to Jesus and His example in the Gospels of speaking truth saturated with grace. Remember, He came full of grace and truth - in that order.

How are you doing in relating to others on the basis of grace before truth?


TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Saturday, April 16, 2022

The day between Good Friday and Easter Morning

 


What do you think it was like the day after the crucifixion of Christ? Did Pilot wake up with a guilty conscience and wonder if he had done the right thing? Did the guards, who had mocked Jesus and then seen Him on the cross, wonder if an innocent man had died? Did the crowds, who had called for His life, keep an embarrassed silence in a quiet Jerusalem? Someone was nervous,  for they asked the Roman garrison to post guards at His tomb. On the day after, Jesus' friends mourned, the Romans were nervous, and some who had watched the execution were sure He was the Son of God.


It had to be a day like no other in Jerusalem. It had to be a day of quiet and consideration. It had to be a day of sober doubt after a day of impetuous action. I'll bet there were many disturbed consciences that day. The day between death and resurrection. A day of uncertainty and guilt. A day of hopelessness and sadness. But it was done and there was no undoing the events of the night before.


We have days like that! I have experienced whole periods of life that hang between hope and despair. Uncertainty reigns. Sadness is prevalent, maybe dominant. It is the time in between life as it was and life as it will be - but not yet knowing what will be. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties, and unknowns. It is those times of personal chaos when we have no idea and little hope that life will become whole again. It is the loss of hope most of all.


It is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is real and it hurts and all of us experience it just as the disciples did, only in different ways. But there is another day coming...we know and we look forward to that day of hope. Always remember in the day of despair that morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need the words of Habakkuk, "Be still and know that I am God." Easter comes and so does Hope.


There is a whole book in the Old Testament devoted to those in between times. It is the book of Lamentations. To lament is to mourn and to be in sorrow. Jeremiah is literally walking through the burnt out ruins of Jerusalem after the Babylonians had destroyed the city. The city is largely deserted, the temple in ruins, most of the population had been taken into exile into Babylon. Think of the pictures you have seen recently of the cities destroyed in Ukraine and you get the picture. People living in the middle of rubble, hope gone, lives destroyed, bank accounts empty.


Jeremiah is deeply distressed as he wanders through the ruins and then these amazing words. “Because of the Lords’ great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”


In the time of pain and hopelessness Jeremiah says, “your mercies are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.” Great is your faithfulness.


Jeremiah was living in that “in-between time” as we also experience. Where life hangs between Hope and Despair. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties and unknowns. It is those times of personal chaos when we have no idea and little hope that life will become whole again. But we know from Easter that there is another day coming. Jeremiah knew that there was another day coming because he knew the character of God, who is always faithful. His mercies are new every morning. Tomorrow, as we celebrate Easter, we are reminded once again of His faithfulness and mercies toward us.


Always remember in the day of despair that morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need to remember. Easter comes and so does hope.


On Easter morning:


The evil one was defeated once and for all

Our sins were paid for on the cross

Jesus rose victorious from the grave

We received hope of our own future resurrection

Death was defeated

Hope was restored

The world was forever changed

The Holy Spirit came

No matter what you are going through today, remember, Easter comes and so does hope. With God it is always so. The in-between times are not the final word. Easter and Jesus and the resurrection are the final word.


Father, thank you for the hope you give us daily in spite of our circumstances. Hope that is grounded in Easter when you rose victorious and our sins were paid for once and for all. Great is your faithfulness. Amen.


The word for today: Hope. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.

TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Friday, April 15, 2022

Good Friday: Things are not always what they appear

 


Things are not always what they appear to be!


One of the lessons of Good Friday is that what appears to be true is not always true. On this day, the cosmic battle between Satan and God culminated in what Satan thought was his greatest victory. That battle had been waged from the time of the fall when God made it clear that one day Satan would be defeated (Genesis 3:15). But on this day, Satan knew he had won. The Son of God is on the cross, alone, abandoned even by His Father, who didn't seem able to rescue Him. Thirty pieces of silver were all it had taken, the best deal ever in the history of evil.


The disciples knew it was over. Jesus' friends knew it was over. The religious authorities knew it was over - their problem solved, a rival gone. Not only that, but evil had won over good and righteousness for those who cared. For the followers of Christ, this was the ultimate sadness. They had expected righteousness to triumph, but instead, evil had prevailed. The one who had called Himself the Son of God, dead on a bitter cross. The dreams of a new kingdom were shattered. Hope itself in the person of Jesus. Gone.


Little did they know that what appeared to be the final chapter was only the beginning of a new chapter. Out of the jaws of apparent defeat, Christ would not only be resurrected, but in that resurrection, he sealed the fate of Satan, evil, and unrighteousness for all time and made it possible for the created to have a relationship with the creator. The apparent defeat was only the prelude to total victory! Things are not always what they appear to be. 


Not for one moment had the events of Good Friday been out of the control of the heavenly Father, even though it looked like the Father had lost all control. He is always sovereign, and nothing under His control can ever be out of control. The world learned that on Easter Sunday but on Good Friday it could not understand.


Think about your own life for a moment. Where are the areas that seem to be out of control? Where does it feel like evil has won? Where are the areas where you feel apparent defeat, discouragement, sadness, or pain? It is easy to see the Good Friday moments in our lives when it is clear that God has not acted, and we need His help. However, it is harder to wait for the resurrection moments when God shows up, as He always does, and redeems what we thought was unredeemable - often in surprising and unique ways.


I have had whole seasons of life when it seemed that the darkness prevailed over light. I remember leaving my pastorate years ago, depressed, defeated, and convinced that I had failed. I had been caught in a power struggle where the "bad guys" won, and the rest of us left the church. I was out of a job, out of hope, clinically depressed, and even, at times, suicidal. Yet out of that experience came a new journey to understand God's grace, and a new passion for helping hurting churches so that leaders could lead with greater health and less pain. What looked like Good Friday to me, where life was hard and hope was scarce, turned out to be anything but. I came out of the experience with greater faith, wisdom, and understanding. Yes, it took a while, but it happened. I now realize that what seemed out of control was always in His control, and what seemed like failure to me was part of the building blocks of future ministry.


Whatever your circumstance, you can be sure that Easter is coming and that things are not always what they appear to be. In the end, nothing that is in His control can ever be out of control. 


How do we deal with the Good Friday moments of life when life is hard and hope is scarce? Sometimes you have to borrow faith from others. When my faith is thin and fragile, I can borrow faith from someone whose faith is strong. That is why relationships are so important in the Christian family. We don’t exist alone. We need one another. When I am weak I need someone who is strong and when I am strong I can lift up the weak. Never be ashamed of needing to borrow the faith of others.


We also need to keep our relationship with Jesus current. If He is the vine and we are the branches (John 15), then we need to stay connected to the vine. There are plenty of times in life that we don’t know what God is up to and times when we are discouraged and perhaps even despair. But there is never a time when we cannot stay connected to Him, knowing that He is the source of life and hope. 


Remember in the Good Friday moments this truth: “Christ Jesus who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:34-39). 


Clearly things are not always what they appear because behind the realities that we see, there is a spiritual reality that is always present and God is always up to something. While life may seem to us to be out of control, nothing under His control can ever be out of control. That is the lesson of Good Friday. And that is true today in those areas of your life where life seems out of control.


Father, on this day the world thought that evil had prevailed. We now know that You prevailed against evil once and for all. Remind me often that life is not always what it appears and that nothing under your control can ever be out of control. Even in my life today. Amen.


The question for today: What things in my own life do I need to remember are under God’s control today?


TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com