Creating dialogue through questions

Good leaders learn to ask questions of those they lead in order to solicit feedback, create meaningful dialogue and help people think through issues. This is an important part of coaching and mentoring because good questions provoke thinking and the opportunity to dialogue more deeply on the issues that surface through the answers.

Often the natural inclination of leaders is to  tell rather than dialogue. The art of asking probing questions is one that is often not natural to us but can be learned. The more we do it, the better we become. Here are the kinds of questions that can provoke meaningful discussion with those we lead or supervise.

If there were one thing you could change about your job, what would it be?

How do you think our team is doing? What would make it stronger?

Where do you want to be three years from now personally and professionally?

Is there something you wish I would do differently as your supervisor?

Are there ways that I could make your job easier?

What is your greatest challenge and your greatest joy in your role?

Do you feel you are being used to your highest capacity? If not, what would you like to add to your responsibilities?

Is there anything you need from me that you are not getting?

As you think about our mission as an organization, where do you think we are doing well and where do you think we could do better?

Where do you need to push yourself for better results?

What percentage of your time are you working in your sweet spot and what percentage in your weaknesses?

Are you doing things that someone else on your team could be doing that would allow you to focus on more important issues?

Is there something you know you really need to focus on but have not found the time to do so? If yes, how can you reconfigure your time so that you can focus on that priority?

What leadership lessons have you learned in the past year?

How are you measuring results for your ministry?

What changes have you made in the past three years in how you live and work? What prompted those changes?

Do you have a mentor who speaks into your life outside of your supervisor? Who are you mentoring?

Talk to me about how you empower your team.

If you have favorite questions that generate dialogue I would love to know what they are.

Thinking spiritual influence rather than personal recognition

Our world is driven by success, personal recognition and financial accumulation. For Christ followers there is a far more important goal, no matter what our job or role: it is that of maximizing our spiritual influence - the most important result our lives could have.

This recognizes that life is not about me but about God. Rather than personal recognition or fame, our goal ought to be to lift up the reputation of God and make His Son look great! When we meet Jesus face to face as we all will sooner than later our own personal status will mean nothing but what we did to lift up the reputation of Jesus and make His name well known will mean everything. This focus on God rather than self is counter culture and radical but it is the mark of a true Christ follower. 

Focusing on maximizing our spiritual influence means that we are always asking looking for ways to invest our time in ways that will have eternal value. When I spend time with my neighbors who don't know Jesus, it is all about spiritual influence. When I mentor other leaders to help them become better leaders, it is all about spiritual influence. When my wife Mary Ann uses her mercy gifts with those in deep need it is all about spiritual influence. When I write blogs, it is about spiritual influence. My point is that every one of us has ways that we can uniquely have spiritual influence with others in our neighborhood, workplace, among our friends, through our mentoring or giving or hospitality. In giving ourselves away rather than selfishly living for ourselves we expand our eternal influence for Jesus. 


We all have bank accounts. Our financial bank accounts will not mean anything on the day we meet Jesus. Our spiritual influence bank account will last for all eternity and is an investment in the Kingdom of God and the eternal destinies of others. I want to be rich when I die in my spiritual influence account. Not much else will matter. And all of us can be wealthy in spiritual influence. 

Those of us in full time ministry need to ask ourselves regularly whether what we do is about us or Him. It is easy to fool ourselves that we are about spiritual influence rather than personal recognition simply because we are in full time ministry. Not so: we face the same temptation as others to make it about us rather than about him. In fact, it may be easier for us to fool ourselves because of our ministry vocation. Each day is a choice. Am I investing for spiritual influence or for something else?

Persecution: How God turns the tables

Whenever and wherever the gospel pushes boldly into new territory, the evil one pushes back resulting in hardship for believers and the church. Jesus warned His disciples that they would face opposition just as He had. And the stories of Paul's missionary journeys are filled with accounts of satanic "push back" in the form of persecution.

Satan's goal in persecuting believers is of course to halt the spread of the gospel. But in a great divine reversal, God turns the tables on Satan by using that evil push back to actually broadcast His name and turn the spotlight on the Gospel.

Take the state of Orissa, in India, for example. For some time, radical Hindu's have been killing and maiming believers, driving them from their homes and burning churches. Unfortunately for those persecuting, the world turned their spotlight on the plight of believers in Orissa and shamed the Indian government into intervening. Because of the publicity generated by persecution, the gospel and believers in that state have become more well known than ever before. And, the reputation of Jesus is held high by many who have seen how believers handled the persecution and became even more resolved in their faith.

In our own organization the evil one was certainly pleased when the Russian authorities withdrew visas for our staff working at a Bible school in Russia. It looked like the dream was going to die. Instead, the school went virtual, using DVDs. Because "copyright" in Russia means "the right to copy," for every DVD of a Bible course purchased it is estimated that their are 100 copies made and shared across the entire former Soviet Union. What looked like failure was actually the beginning of spectacular success for Bible training with thousands being reached who would never have come to the residential school.

There is nothing more powerful than the gospel of Christ and persecution, rather than hurting the church, actually propels the gospel forward in unexpected ways. It cannot be stopped and what looks like defeat is often the prelude to significant expansion. When you hear of persecution, pray for the believers involved, and pray that God will turn the tables on Satan and use that very persecution to propel His church forward.

Common vocabulary and common culture

One of the questions I enjoy asking staff or leaders of organizations is this: "What is the common vocabulary in your organization that everyone would know." I ask for two reasons. First I want to find out if there is a common vocabulary, and second, if there is, I am curious as to what it is because it tells me a lot about the organization.

In ReachGlobal, such common vocabulary would include: "Whatever it takes," "We measure results," "KRAs and AMPs," "personal retreat day," "autopsy without blame," "develop, empower and release," "intentional living," "the RG Sandbox," "teams," "empowerment," and "leading from the sandbox."

These and other common words and phrases define a common culture that is our unique culture. Because they are well known, they shape the ethos of the organization including its leadership philosophy.

Organizations that do not have a common vocabulary usually do not have a shared culture. This is why good leaders work to communicate key values or commitments with carefully chosen and continuously repeated words or phrases. When we say, "We practice autopsy without blame," we are sending a strong message that when problems happen we will focus on the problem and not the people. That is an organizational value that I will live out but that I also want lived out at all levels of the organization. As it is modeled and communicated the phrase becomes our practice. 


It is an instructive exercise to ask a group of people in an organization what they think the common vocabulary is and what they think it means. In unhealthy organizations that vocabulary will reflect the dysfunctions. In healthy organizations it will reflect the healthy practices. If there is simply a lack of common vocabulary, it is reflective of leaders who have not yet been intentional in creating a common culture. Think about this for your organization.

Applications and Invitations

Want a job? Fill out an application! Want to fill a key spot in your ministry? Consider making an invitation rather than an application. Here is the principle: while most jobs in middle management and below are filled by taking applications, the best people in upper management or leadership positions are invited into a conversation to see if there is a potential fit between the needs of the organization and themselves. 

The higher the position you are trying to fill (in a church or ministry organization) the less likely that the individual you want is going to fill out your application and apply for a job. This is where a high touch and personal approach is the most powerful. One identifies potential candidates and then invites them into a dialogue to see if there is interest, fit and synergy.

This is true in many pastoral searches. Search committees are overwhelmed with resumes when spots open up. Often, however, the chosen candidate never applied but was invited to a conversation that resulted in their coming. If you are looking for staff, who are you inviting into a conversation?

Because I lead a mission organization where key leaders are always needed, I initiate conversations on a regular basis with other leaders to ascertain their current satisfaction in their job. Often I find that they are looking for a larger platter with more responsibility. I file that information away and when an opportunity arises in ReachGlobal, I initiate another conversation. I see myself as recruiting all the time through the development of relationships and looking for common passions. But it all starts with an invitation to talk. 

Hearing the voice behind the voice

A former leader in the church says to a current leader: "I have some deep concerns about the pastor and there are others who who do as well." "Who are the others?" queries the leader. "Well, I can't really say because that would violate confidentiality but there are quite a few." 

"What are the issues," asks the leader. "Basically we don't trust the pastor and he has not handled some things very well." "Do you have first hand information about this," asks the leader? "Well, not really but I am sure that what I have heard is true." "Have you asked the pastor about your concerns?" asks the leader. "Oh no, he is not approachable." "How do you know that?" asks the leader. "Well he has a reputation of not listening and being defensive." "Hmmm, that has never been my experience," says the leader.

Did you notice in this conversation that there is a "voice" behind the "voice" of the one complaining? He has no first hand information about this situation but he has become an inadvertent spokesperson for someone else in the congregation who has an agenda to raise issues from behind the scenes, quietly and even perhaps with spiritual language ("I am deeply concerned for the pastor" or "we need to be praying about this trust issue."). And the one speaking should be listened to because after all he has taught an adult Sunday school class for years....

It is not unusual for me to receive a call from a pastor or church leader asking for my help because there are unhappy people in the church who are raising all kinds of issues, want a public forum to voice them and have spokespeople who are regularly "sharing their concerns" with leaders, leaving leaders wondering how big an issue is this and how do they deal with it. And, it seems that no matter how many conversations they have the issues don't go away. 

As I dialogue with leaders in these situations I am listening for the "voice behind the voices." Usually there is an individual, perhaps a few who are talking behind the scenes. Their friends pick up their issues whether they are legitimate or not and soon there are a number of folks who don't "trust the pastor" even though they have no personal reason not to - and the poison starts to run through the congregation.

I will often ask if there are common themes they are hearing and of course there are. I will probe as to where they think it is coming from and they often answer that they think it is a wide congregational issue (which I don't believe). Starting to probe more deeply I often come to an individual who was a former leader or a founding member of the church (sometimes not either) who is actually the voice behind the voices. Even then, some board members, knowing the truth don't want to do anything about it because he or she is "godly" and have been around for a long time.

My last blog was on courageous leaders. Courageous leaders are innocent as doves and wise as serpents. They are not naive and they do not allow anyone in the church to bring division and the behavior above is one of the most destructive behaviors any church can experience. Often it leads to pastors resigning and churches being held hostage by someone behind the scenes who wields underhanded power because no one has the courage to confront them.

When you see this scenario happening don't be deceived and figure out who the voice behind the voices actually is. Then deal with it. If you need to bring in an outside voice to help you do that make that call. It takes just one fox (sorry but that is what they are) to cause mayhem in the hen house. Paul told the elders at Ephesus that such fox's would show up and he told them not to be deceived but to deal with it (Acts 20). I know of foxes right now who are quietly chomping their way through congregations and there is blood everywhere.

Courageous church leaders

Church leadership is not for the faint of heart, the easily discouraged or those who lack courage. Yet too often there is a failure of courage at critical junctures in church leadership and it can only be laid at the foot of leaders. What makes for a courageous leadership board?

They are willing to clearly define vision and direction knowing that clarity is critical even though some will not like the clarity. Many boards do not take the time to clarify and communicate clarity because it is hard work, first, and because they know that some will object, second. Yet, it is clarity that brings focus, alignment and direction so there is no true church health without clarity. This may involve making tough directional or ministry calls that upset a few. Process is important but courageous leaders will do what is right even when a few loud voices protest.

They are ready to stir the water at times to move the congregation out of their comfort zone and into a gospel centered ministry zone. All churches naturally revert back to their comfort zone where life is easy and the focus is on who is already in the church rather than who is outside the church without Christ. It is the job of leaders to ensure that the congregation is living out its Gospel mandate which will be inconvenient and uncomfortable at times. If the water is not being ruffled regularly you are living in the comfort zone.

They deal with divisive voices who would divide the congregation. Paul talks much to his friend Timothy about how to deal with divisive people who cause damage to the church. One thing he does not say is ignore them. They are foxes in the hen house and courageous leaders see them for what they are and lovingly but firmly deal with this sin that so easily divides.

They hold themselves to high standards. Leaders are to be above reproach not only in their own personal lives but in the way their interact with each other as a team. Courageous leaders call out behavior that is counterproductive to a healthy board and hold one another accountable for their unity, relationships and work together. 


They are candid and honest about the state of the church and its ministry. It is easy to ignore real issues and not evaluate the true state of the congregation. It takes courage to name the elephants and then deal with them. This must be done without a hidden agenda or personal attack but it must be done. If there are any elephants in the board that cannot be discussed there is a failure of courage.


They are people of hope and optimism that God can and will do something big through their people and congregation and so they dream big, plan big and expect God to show up. Why? Because they believe in God's plan and power and that He is "able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20)." It takes courage to believe in God's power and therefore step out to do great things for him and that is exactly what courageous leaders do.


Our world is driven by fear at many levels. Congregations often have leaders who are more fearful and cautious than courageous and bold. Failure of courage leads to failure of mission. Courageous church leaders infect their congregation with their optimism, courage, resolve, Gospel commitments and call them to live it out together.