There are naturally a number of things that we look for when hiring staff at any level of an organization - or when recruiting volunteers. Things like competency, Emotional Intelligence, fit with the culture of the organization and so on. But here is one non-negotiable for me which I will not compromise on: humility.
Humble individuals are teachable. They treat others with respect. They are eager to learn from others and can play on a team well. They don't need their own way and don't fight stupid intramural battles. They care more about the accomplishment of the mission than their own ego. In fact, their own egos don't get in the way of finding the best solutions in a team setting. They are not looking for personal recognition but want a win for the organization. Their humility makes it possible for them to keep short accounts and to apologize when they are wrong or have offended others. They are not competing for attention but are easy to have on the team.
Those who lack humility are prideful. Pride causes us to want to one up others, to get our own way, to claim the accolades personally. It prevents us from apologizing and keeping short accounts and can kill team spirit because it is about us, not the team. Pride keeps us from learning from others or from receiving counsel or rebuke. It craves recognition, importance, authority and control. It is slow to praise others and competes for that praise. It often treats others with carelessness and lack of consideration. True introspection is difficult as pride gets in the way of seeing what is really there.
Now think carefully about the implications and characteristics of a humble or prideful individual on your ministry team or more importantly in a leadership role. Think about the impact their natural behaviors have on those they work with and the outcome of the ministry. Think about the ease of supervising a humble individual compared to a proud individual. Finally, compare these two kinds of people against the character of Christ and one sees how critical a humble spirit is to all that we do in Christian ministry.
When you choose staff, don't miss this test. Almost without exception when I have dealt with a serious staff issue, there is an element of pride that is involved and gets in the way of healthy resolution. There is a reason that humility is so close to God's heart. It is part of his character.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Muslims are not the problem
Regardless of what we hear - Muslims are not the problem! Islam is (and I know that is not politically correct). Islam literally holds over a billion people hostage to a system that keeps people in bondage.
Consider: within Islam it heretical to question what the Koran says or how it is interpreted. Many women are kept in absolute bondage within their homes and often kept from receiving an education. In addition, they are forced to live with other wives causing ugly family rivalries and dynamics. Women have virtually no rights and are considered property of their husbands. It is forbidden to consider other faiths and conversion to Christianity can be a capital offense. The Koran is used to justify lying to non Muslims and killing the same. Children are brainwashed from an early age in many contexts to hate all non Muslims, especially the infidel west. Sharia law includes stoning for adultery, harsh penalties for women who disobey their husbands, the cutting off of hands for certain crimes and other penalties that defy justice. And, worst of all, the system is designed to keep people in it, allowing no debate, no dissent or no escape - which is why communities even in the west are insular and through fear, seek to keep people enslaved in the system. And the greatest fear of all is not knowing if one is in good standing with God and therefore what their eternal destiny is. One can hope and pray but it is all in the will of God which we cannot know!
But what of the people enslaved by such a system? Muslims are the victims of Islam. They are enslaved by miss-truth, by Scriptures which are not from the God of heaven, by a system that keeps them from exploring other options, by fear of violating that system and its consequences, and by a belief system that leaves one in limbo regarding their salvation. Muslims are victims of Islam and in need of believers who will love them, show them the wonders of the Gospel and invite them to freedom.
I love how The Crescent Project, a ministry that helps churches minister to Muslims states their vision: "We see a day when fear is replaced by love and millions of Christians are actively sharing the truth of Christ with millions of Muslims for the glory of God."
There is great fear among many regarding Muslims. As believers we should not fear for God died for Muslims as he died for all people. He died so that they could be freed from the prison and spiritual bondage of Islam. And we should always remember that the problem is Islam and the victims of Islam are its very adherents.
If you or your church is interested in reaching out to Muslims one of the premier tools is The Bridges curriculum developed by The Crescent Project. Check it out. You will also find that many Muslims are open to a conversation regarding spiritual things.
Consider: within Islam it heretical to question what the Koran says or how it is interpreted. Many women are kept in absolute bondage within their homes and often kept from receiving an education. In addition, they are forced to live with other wives causing ugly family rivalries and dynamics. Women have virtually no rights and are considered property of their husbands. It is forbidden to consider other faiths and conversion to Christianity can be a capital offense. The Koran is used to justify lying to non Muslims and killing the same. Children are brainwashed from an early age in many contexts to hate all non Muslims, especially the infidel west. Sharia law includes stoning for adultery, harsh penalties for women who disobey their husbands, the cutting off of hands for certain crimes and other penalties that defy justice. And, worst of all, the system is designed to keep people in it, allowing no debate, no dissent or no escape - which is why communities even in the west are insular and through fear, seek to keep people enslaved in the system. And the greatest fear of all is not knowing if one is in good standing with God and therefore what their eternal destiny is. One can hope and pray but it is all in the will of God which we cannot know!
But what of the people enslaved by such a system? Muslims are the victims of Islam. They are enslaved by miss-truth, by Scriptures which are not from the God of heaven, by a system that keeps them from exploring other options, by fear of violating that system and its consequences, and by a belief system that leaves one in limbo regarding their salvation. Muslims are victims of Islam and in need of believers who will love them, show them the wonders of the Gospel and invite them to freedom.
I love how The Crescent Project, a ministry that helps churches minister to Muslims states their vision: "We see a day when fear is replaced by love and millions of Christians are actively sharing the truth of Christ with millions of Muslims for the glory of God."
There is great fear among many regarding Muslims. As believers we should not fear for God died for Muslims as he died for all people. He died so that they could be freed from the prison and spiritual bondage of Islam. And we should always remember that the problem is Islam and the victims of Islam are its very adherents.
If you or your church is interested in reaching out to Muslims one of the premier tools is The Bridges curriculum developed by The Crescent Project. Check it out. You will also find that many Muslims are open to a conversation regarding spiritual things.
Leaders and critical thinking
One of the unique roles leaders play for their team or organization is the discipline of critical thinking: Where are we going? How will we get there? What are we going after? What spells success? Do I have the right people? Are they situated in the right "lane"? Is there absolute clarity around our mission? What are the priorities for this coming year? Who will take over if I am taken out of the picture? Are we maximizing our spiritual influence? and the list could go on.
Taking the time to reflect on the most important questions that help a ministry flourish is one of the key jobs of a leader. Because it is a hidden practice (it is not up front) and because it is not a physical activity, it is often lost in the busyness of all the other things leaders must do. Yet this basic discipline is the most critical thing a leader should be doing on an ongoing basis.
If a leader does not pay attention to this area of their leadership role, someone else in the organization who thinks deeply often will. They will be the ones asking the right questions and trying to help the team define clarity and success. Ironically, people will gravitate to and often follow the individual who can help the organization think critically whether they have the title of leader or not. While many do not have the skill for critical thinking (they are primarily doers), most desire to have clarity about what they are about, where they are going and how they will get there.
As the leader of an organization, I actually build into my schedule, thinking and writing days or weeks. They are intentionally kept clear for the discipline of thinking, and then clarifying through writing. I also have some key members of my staff who are great critical thinkers and regularly we will call a meeting in a room full of white boards to tackle a significant issue. In fact, the majority of my meetings are designed to do problem solving, get to clarity on an important issue, rethink how we are doing what we do and maximize our impact.
The discipline of critical thinking extends to hires that we make as well. There are few decisions that are more critical than the people one hires. They will either help drive the ministry forward or keep it back. The higher the level the hire, the more true this is. Thus, investing significant time in evaluating, dialoguing with, listening to and thinking through the strengths and weaknesses they bring to the ministry is crucial.
There are consequences to every decision we make. Part of critical thinking is to ask the question: What are the unintended consequences of the decision we are considering. All decisions have consequences, it is the unintended consequences that we need to identify because they can compromise the very thing we are trying to accomplish. Knowing them becomes part of the critical thinking equation.
In a complex world, critical thinking is often a group activity. While I do a great deal of thinking about organizational issues alone, I never pull the trigger on a major decision without involving my key ministry colleagues. The power of combined thinking and wisdom is far higher than the wisdom of any one of us by ourselves. This is also why I often call meetings of key individuals to together tackle an important issue.
This requires a spirit of humility and collaboration on the part of leaders. Lone ranger leaders, no matter how great their critical thinking skills are will not maximize their organization's potential by themselves. We need other critical thinkers around us as well as their buy in - and if we together are part of the solution, we will all buy into that solution.
Good thinkers are also people who seek the wisdom of colleagues from other ministries to find out what they are experiencing, how they are tackling like problems and what "dumb tax" they have paid that you should avoid. If ministry leaders talked more often and with greater candor we would together raise the bar for all of our ministries.
Critical thinking is a hallmark of leaders who stay in front of those they are leading, always asking the right (and hard) questions, and always looking for better solutions to maximize the spiritual influence of their organization. It is also the route to innovation!
Taking the time to reflect on the most important questions that help a ministry flourish is one of the key jobs of a leader. Because it is a hidden practice (it is not up front) and because it is not a physical activity, it is often lost in the busyness of all the other things leaders must do. Yet this basic discipline is the most critical thing a leader should be doing on an ongoing basis.
If a leader does not pay attention to this area of their leadership role, someone else in the organization who thinks deeply often will. They will be the ones asking the right questions and trying to help the team define clarity and success. Ironically, people will gravitate to and often follow the individual who can help the organization think critically whether they have the title of leader or not. While many do not have the skill for critical thinking (they are primarily doers), most desire to have clarity about what they are about, where they are going and how they will get there.
As the leader of an organization, I actually build into my schedule, thinking and writing days or weeks. They are intentionally kept clear for the discipline of thinking, and then clarifying through writing. I also have some key members of my staff who are great critical thinkers and regularly we will call a meeting in a room full of white boards to tackle a significant issue. In fact, the majority of my meetings are designed to do problem solving, get to clarity on an important issue, rethink how we are doing what we do and maximize our impact.
The discipline of critical thinking extends to hires that we make as well. There are few decisions that are more critical than the people one hires. They will either help drive the ministry forward or keep it back. The higher the level the hire, the more true this is. Thus, investing significant time in evaluating, dialoguing with, listening to and thinking through the strengths and weaknesses they bring to the ministry is crucial.
There are consequences to every decision we make. Part of critical thinking is to ask the question: What are the unintended consequences of the decision we are considering. All decisions have consequences, it is the unintended consequences that we need to identify because they can compromise the very thing we are trying to accomplish. Knowing them becomes part of the critical thinking equation.
In a complex world, critical thinking is often a group activity. While I do a great deal of thinking about organizational issues alone, I never pull the trigger on a major decision without involving my key ministry colleagues. The power of combined thinking and wisdom is far higher than the wisdom of any one of us by ourselves. This is also why I often call meetings of key individuals to together tackle an important issue.
This requires a spirit of humility and collaboration on the part of leaders. Lone ranger leaders, no matter how great their critical thinking skills are will not maximize their organization's potential by themselves. We need other critical thinkers around us as well as their buy in - and if we together are part of the solution, we will all buy into that solution.
Good thinkers are also people who seek the wisdom of colleagues from other ministries to find out what they are experiencing, how they are tackling like problems and what "dumb tax" they have paid that you should avoid. If ministry leaders talked more often and with greater candor we would together raise the bar for all of our ministries.
Critical thinking is a hallmark of leaders who stay in front of those they are leading, always asking the right (and hard) questions, and always looking for better solutions to maximize the spiritual influence of their organization. It is also the route to innovation!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Missionary Lifestyles
We all know that authentic relationships with non-believers are critical to the mission that Christ left us. We are the bearers of the good news of the Gospel. Every follower of Jesus is a missionary to those in their circles of influence. There are no non missionaries in God's family. For some of us the question is, how do I do this most effectively?
First, remember that people are people, not projects for evangelism. Every man, woman and child has intrinsic worth as people made in the image of God. We develop relationships with others because God cares about them and therefore we care about them. Incarnational relationships are about stepping into relationship with others because they are loved by God and therefore by us. Just as God gave us unconditional love in spite of all of our issues, so we extend the same to others with the love God has given us. Just as Jesus looked for men and women in need of His love we do the same.
Second, we have more in common with unbelievers than we often think. All of us face common family, personal, work, children and other issues of life. One of the keys to developing authentic relationships is simply being transparent about our lives. Christians who put on a front that all is well all the time are not only lying to themselves but they are missing a unique opportunity to relate and connect with others. By being transparent, we invite transparency. That transparency draws us closer to those we are with and it opens opportunities to talk about how we deal with the challenges of life - which has a lot to do about faith.
Third, think about how you can love on those you have befriended. My wife, Mary Ann, puts it this way. "If I were in their position, what do I wish someone else would do for me?" So, when our neighbor has the flu, Mary Ann cooks a dinner and delivers it. Simply putting ourselves in the shoes of others helps us know how to best respond to them.
Fourth, pray for your friends. The hardest work in introducing someone to Christ is not done by us but by the Holy Spirit. Our regular prayer changes hearts as the Holy Spirit does His quiet work. Also, when a friend shares a problem they are facing simply ask "Can I pray about that for you?" Often they have never had someone offer to pray. If the opportunity is there, ask if you can pray with them right there. Together you lift their challenge to the throne of Jesus. This is far more powerful than we realize because in involving them they too are being invited into God's presence.
Fifth, when the opportunity comes up, be transparent about your own faith in Christ. My two nearly fatal illnesses have been the cause of much conversation by many who know of what happened. When people ask, "How did you pull through?" we simply tell them about the many people who prayed for me and how God miraculously healed. These kinds of conversations open doors to other conversations of faith. All people are on a spiritual journey and we want to encourage them to take the step over the line from unbelief to belief.
Sixth, introduce your unbelieving friends to other believing friends. There is a quality of relationship among believers that unbelievers are not used to. There is a quality of marriages that they are often unused to. Being with God's people opens the eyes of unbelievers to a world that they may not be used to. It certainly should challenge their world.
Seventh, be ready to share in simple terms your own spiritual journey and how God has changed your life. In the context of relationship and transparency this is neither out of the ordinary or pushy, it is simply life on life conversation. Encourage your friends to read the Gospel of John or other Scriptures and introduce them to good reading material. And continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will work in their hearts.
Missionary work is all about friendships where we genuinely enter into the lives of others with the same love and intentionality that Jesus did when on this planet and with us. And it is amazing to watch the Holy Spirit work and to be a part of God's redemptive plan with others. There is nothing more exciting in life.
First, remember that people are people, not projects for evangelism. Every man, woman and child has intrinsic worth as people made in the image of God. We develop relationships with others because God cares about them and therefore we care about them. Incarnational relationships are about stepping into relationship with others because they are loved by God and therefore by us. Just as God gave us unconditional love in spite of all of our issues, so we extend the same to others with the love God has given us. Just as Jesus looked for men and women in need of His love we do the same.
Second, we have more in common with unbelievers than we often think. All of us face common family, personal, work, children and other issues of life. One of the keys to developing authentic relationships is simply being transparent about our lives. Christians who put on a front that all is well all the time are not only lying to themselves but they are missing a unique opportunity to relate and connect with others. By being transparent, we invite transparency. That transparency draws us closer to those we are with and it opens opportunities to talk about how we deal with the challenges of life - which has a lot to do about faith.
Third, think about how you can love on those you have befriended. My wife, Mary Ann, puts it this way. "If I were in their position, what do I wish someone else would do for me?" So, when our neighbor has the flu, Mary Ann cooks a dinner and delivers it. Simply putting ourselves in the shoes of others helps us know how to best respond to them.
Fourth, pray for your friends. The hardest work in introducing someone to Christ is not done by us but by the Holy Spirit. Our regular prayer changes hearts as the Holy Spirit does His quiet work. Also, when a friend shares a problem they are facing simply ask "Can I pray about that for you?" Often they have never had someone offer to pray. If the opportunity is there, ask if you can pray with them right there. Together you lift their challenge to the throne of Jesus. This is far more powerful than we realize because in involving them they too are being invited into God's presence.
Fifth, when the opportunity comes up, be transparent about your own faith in Christ. My two nearly fatal illnesses have been the cause of much conversation by many who know of what happened. When people ask, "How did you pull through?" we simply tell them about the many people who prayed for me and how God miraculously healed. These kinds of conversations open doors to other conversations of faith. All people are on a spiritual journey and we want to encourage them to take the step over the line from unbelief to belief.
Sixth, introduce your unbelieving friends to other believing friends. There is a quality of relationship among believers that unbelievers are not used to. There is a quality of marriages that they are often unused to. Being with God's people opens the eyes of unbelievers to a world that they may not be used to. It certainly should challenge their world.
Seventh, be ready to share in simple terms your own spiritual journey and how God has changed your life. In the context of relationship and transparency this is neither out of the ordinary or pushy, it is simply life on life conversation. Encourage your friends to read the Gospel of John or other Scriptures and introduce them to good reading material. And continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will work in their hearts.
Missionary work is all about friendships where we genuinely enter into the lives of others with the same love and intentionality that Jesus did when on this planet and with us. And it is amazing to watch the Holy Spirit work and to be a part of God's redemptive plan with others. There is nothing more exciting in life.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Church programming and its impact on evangelism
Yesterday's post on Building authentic relationships with unbelievers presupposes that we have time to invest in those relationships. Perhaps one of the most challenging issues is that many churches program so heavily that it sucks up most if not all discretionary time of the congregation leaving little time for relationships outside the church. Added to this is the subtle message that "ministry" is to be found by volunteering inside the church and that healthy believers take advantage of all of the programming of the church.
In contrast to this think about the amount of time that Jesus intentionally spent hanging around the very people who would never enter the door of a synagogue. They did not feel worthy to be there and their faith journey was such that they were a long ways from organized religion. Jesus did not expect these folks to show up at the Synagogue so He went to them. While many do find Christ through the church, there are many who will never darken the door of a church unless someone has intentionally developed a relationship with them.
For years, Mary Ann and I made an intentional decision to spend more time with neighbors and friends outside of church rather than to be involved in more programming in the church. While many congregations see 80% of real ministry taking place in the church we believe that 80% of ministry takes place outside the church as we engage a secular and unbelieving world with the love, help and claims of Jesus. I am convinced that one of the major reasons for the poor evangelism rates in the United States is that we are hoping unbelievers will show up in our church and find Christ through our programming while I believe the opposite is the intention of Christ and that it is through relationships that most conversions take place.
The concept of Simple Church is perhaps more conducive to evangelism than the complex, program driven churches we often encounter today. It would be ironic if our very programming efforts mitigated against more effective evangelism by leaving little time for relationships with unbelievers. And sending them the message that what we really care about is that they show up with us at church is (so they can hear about God) is probably not the best evangelism strategy. Many will not come, either.
I believe that the local church is God's intended means of reaching the world. It is His bride. But it is the church scattered during most of the week that primarily allows this to happen, not the church gathered. Further, we need to communicate that ministry is not simply about volunteering for roles in the church (important as those are) but in using our gifts in the places where He has given us spiritual influence - our neighborhoods, workplaces, little league, or wherever our relationships are to be found.
It is far easier and less intimidating to be with God's people than to be intentionally developing relationships with unbelievers. But that is where evangelism starts and that is the heart of God. In all of our great church programming, lets not program out the very time that is needed to bless our friends with the Gospel. The power of incarnational ministry is the most effective evangelism strategy we will ever have.
In contrast to this think about the amount of time that Jesus intentionally spent hanging around the very people who would never enter the door of a synagogue. They did not feel worthy to be there and their faith journey was such that they were a long ways from organized religion. Jesus did not expect these folks to show up at the Synagogue so He went to them. While many do find Christ through the church, there are many who will never darken the door of a church unless someone has intentionally developed a relationship with them.
For years, Mary Ann and I made an intentional decision to spend more time with neighbors and friends outside of church rather than to be involved in more programming in the church. While many congregations see 80% of real ministry taking place in the church we believe that 80% of ministry takes place outside the church as we engage a secular and unbelieving world with the love, help and claims of Jesus. I am convinced that one of the major reasons for the poor evangelism rates in the United States is that we are hoping unbelievers will show up in our church and find Christ through our programming while I believe the opposite is the intention of Christ and that it is through relationships that most conversions take place.
The concept of Simple Church is perhaps more conducive to evangelism than the complex, program driven churches we often encounter today. It would be ironic if our very programming efforts mitigated against more effective evangelism by leaving little time for relationships with unbelievers. And sending them the message that what we really care about is that they show up with us at church is (so they can hear about God) is probably not the best evangelism strategy. Many will not come, either.
I believe that the local church is God's intended means of reaching the world. It is His bride. But it is the church scattered during most of the week that primarily allows this to happen, not the church gathered. Further, we need to communicate that ministry is not simply about volunteering for roles in the church (important as those are) but in using our gifts in the places where He has given us spiritual influence - our neighborhoods, workplaces, little league, or wherever our relationships are to be found.
It is far easier and less intimidating to be with God's people than to be intentionally developing relationships with unbelievers. But that is where evangelism starts and that is the heart of God. In all of our great church programming, lets not program out the very time that is needed to bless our friends with the Gospel. The power of incarnational ministry is the most effective evangelism strategy we will ever have.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Building authentic relationships with unbelievers
Much evangelism strategy in the church today assumes that unbelievers will show up at our services. This is certainly a true assumption for many congregations at Christmas and Easter and they take full advantage of the opportunity. However, evangelism rates in the Unites States and Europe remain exceedingly low and I believe one of the key reasons for this is the lack of intentionality in developing relationships with unbelievers.
By nature, many of our relationships change as we come to Christ. We move from a majority of our relationships being with fellow unbelievers to a majority of our friendships being with believers. That is a natural development as they are our new family and fellow members of God's family. What is lost, if we are not careful and intentional are the very relationships that are necessary to influence our former friends toward a relationship with Christ. And the challenge increases as our spiritual age grows.
The key is to be aware of all the folks around us who don't know Christ and be intentional in developing relationships with them: our neighbors, workmates, restaurant servers, clerks at local stores and all those that our paths run across.
Mary Ann and I have been deeply intentional in getting to know all of our neighbors for the 23 years we have lived in our neighborhood. We have seen several of those come to Christ as a result of long term relationships. Some years ago we chose a restaurant that we both enjoy and go back regularly and have developed friendships with most of the wait staff and owners. Because I am an author, we have shared my books like Live Like You Mean It and When Life Comes Undone with all of them. Mary Ann has done the same at her hairdressers. Then there is the fellow who cuts our lawn and helps with projects around the house who is now sharing with us the challenges of his life. We also stay in touch with doctors, nurses and aids who cared for me over two long illnesses.
Authentic relationships build trust and trust leads to conversation and often disclosure of issues in our lives. Those conversations lead to the opportunity to love, accept, empathize and share the good news of the Gospel. We have found that because these friends know that we have a different kind of relationship with God than they do (a real friendship and relationship) they gravitate to us in times of crisis and ask for prayer which leads to further opportunities to share the good news of Jesus.
Neither of us would consider ourselves to have the gift of evangelism but we have learned to be intentional in developing long term relationships with those who don't know Christ. Those relationships when coupled with prayer are a powerful combination for opportunities to see people come to Christ.
Congregations that see many people come to Christ are intentional in developing and maintaining relationships with unbelievers. And I am talking about authentic relationships here where at whatever level, life rubs off on life. It is not simply about wanting them to find Christ, it is about caring about them as people loved by God. It is that genuine love through relationship, conversation and the work of the Holy Spirit that often brings them into the greatest family we could ever have.
By nature, many of our relationships change as we come to Christ. We move from a majority of our relationships being with fellow unbelievers to a majority of our friendships being with believers. That is a natural development as they are our new family and fellow members of God's family. What is lost, if we are not careful and intentional are the very relationships that are necessary to influence our former friends toward a relationship with Christ. And the challenge increases as our spiritual age grows.
The key is to be aware of all the folks around us who don't know Christ and be intentional in developing relationships with them: our neighbors, workmates, restaurant servers, clerks at local stores and all those that our paths run across.
Mary Ann and I have been deeply intentional in getting to know all of our neighbors for the 23 years we have lived in our neighborhood. We have seen several of those come to Christ as a result of long term relationships. Some years ago we chose a restaurant that we both enjoy and go back regularly and have developed friendships with most of the wait staff and owners. Because I am an author, we have shared my books like Live Like You Mean It and When Life Comes Undone with all of them. Mary Ann has done the same at her hairdressers. Then there is the fellow who cuts our lawn and helps with projects around the house who is now sharing with us the challenges of his life. We also stay in touch with doctors, nurses and aids who cared for me over two long illnesses.
Authentic relationships build trust and trust leads to conversation and often disclosure of issues in our lives. Those conversations lead to the opportunity to love, accept, empathize and share the good news of the Gospel. We have found that because these friends know that we have a different kind of relationship with God than they do (a real friendship and relationship) they gravitate to us in times of crisis and ask for prayer which leads to further opportunities to share the good news of Jesus.
Neither of us would consider ourselves to have the gift of evangelism but we have learned to be intentional in developing long term relationships with those who don't know Christ. Those relationships when coupled with prayer are a powerful combination for opportunities to see people come to Christ.
Congregations that see many people come to Christ are intentional in developing and maintaining relationships with unbelievers. And I am talking about authentic relationships here where at whatever level, life rubs off on life. It is not simply about wanting them to find Christ, it is about caring about them as people loved by God. It is that genuine love through relationship, conversation and the work of the Holy Spirit that often brings them into the greatest family we could ever have.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Conflict and problem avoidance create sick churches
A common characteristic of troubled or sick congregations is the trait of problem or conflict avoidance. This aversion to dealing with problems honestly because it may create conflict (and it probably will) creates a dysfunctional congregation because there is no venue for resolving real problems.
Pretending there are not problems or conflict when there are and refusing to deal with known problems is a crazy maker because the pretense that all is well is believed by those who don't know better, disbelieved by those who know better and confusing for those who don't know what to think which creates mistrust, confusion, lack of clarity, and relational breakdown.
A culture of conflict or problem avoidance starts with the church board who are responsible for ensuring the health of the church. Dysfunctional boards are afraid of dealing with conflict and therefore either avoid the issues altogether, spin issues with the congregation to paint a better picture than is reality, or find excuses for why the problems exist that are not accurate. The bottom line is that they don't want to deal with reality, don't want to be honest with themselves and don't want to disclose to the congregation the whole truth.
The problem is that avoidance does not work. First, when you avoid solving real problems they will resurface in a more virulent way. The root of the problem is not dealt with and like a weed that is not fully pulled out it will simply come back.
Second, while some people are fooled (above), others are not. They understand that there are problems that are not being disclosed and dealt with or that they are not being given the whole truth and these individuals lose trust in their leaders. Once leaders have lost trust with a segment of the congregation you have the genesis of even more conflict within the congregation. Others who are simply confused, as noted above, become pawns of those who are fooled or are not fooled and you have a recipe for chaos.
The sad thing is that boards that avoid dealing openly and honestly with problems or conflict become even more dysfunctional themselves because truth, honesty and openness create health while avoidance of these create more dishealth. It is not only a failure of leadership and cowardice but it is a violation of their Scriptural role to lead well and it contributes to greater dishealth in the congregation as a whole. Sadly, there are boards that do this over and over and over. One of the common symptoms of this are congregations that are plateaued or in decline: it is the inevitable result of poor leadership by boards.
How does one deal with a situation like this? It takes one or two courageous board members who will challenge their board to be honest and to deal with real situations in a healthy way - to refuse to avoid conflict and problems that exist. Or, members of the congregation who sense what is happening and challenge the board to do the same. Hard questions by board members or congregants at least bring the issues to the surface and gives either the board or the congregation the option of dealing with them.
In cases where boards and congregations continue to avoid problems or conflict there is one common response. The best leaders in the congregation as well as those who understand the dynamics quietly migrate out of the church. They are unwilling to stay indefinitely in a dysfunctional church system (which is what this is - like a dysfunctional family) because they know it is not healthy and will not be effective in growing healthy disciples. Nor do they want to bring their friends to a sick church.
Boards and congregations who don't honestly face their issues are in fact sick churches. Sick churches cannot grow healthy disciples. In fact, what they do is to create sick and dysfunctional disciples over time. Those who speak truth or challenge the "system" are often marginalized and find that they don't fit in - it is no different than a sick or dysfunctional family. So either one conforms and joins the system or they leave for a healthier congregation.
There are no easy solutions for sick boards or congregations. The greatest hope comes when they can face the fact that they need help and seek that help from outside their board or congregation - a neutral third party who can speak truth to their situation. But that takes a humility that sick boards often do not have. Usually when faced with truth they circle the wagons to protect themselves and avoid the hard work of honest evaluation and renovation.
Pretending there are not problems or conflict when there are and refusing to deal with known problems is a crazy maker because the pretense that all is well is believed by those who don't know better, disbelieved by those who know better and confusing for those who don't know what to think which creates mistrust, confusion, lack of clarity, and relational breakdown.
A culture of conflict or problem avoidance starts with the church board who are responsible for ensuring the health of the church. Dysfunctional boards are afraid of dealing with conflict and therefore either avoid the issues altogether, spin issues with the congregation to paint a better picture than is reality, or find excuses for why the problems exist that are not accurate. The bottom line is that they don't want to deal with reality, don't want to be honest with themselves and don't want to disclose to the congregation the whole truth.
The problem is that avoidance does not work. First, when you avoid solving real problems they will resurface in a more virulent way. The root of the problem is not dealt with and like a weed that is not fully pulled out it will simply come back.
Second, while some people are fooled (above), others are not. They understand that there are problems that are not being disclosed and dealt with or that they are not being given the whole truth and these individuals lose trust in their leaders. Once leaders have lost trust with a segment of the congregation you have the genesis of even more conflict within the congregation. Others who are simply confused, as noted above, become pawns of those who are fooled or are not fooled and you have a recipe for chaos.
The sad thing is that boards that avoid dealing openly and honestly with problems or conflict become even more dysfunctional themselves because truth, honesty and openness create health while avoidance of these create more dishealth. It is not only a failure of leadership and cowardice but it is a violation of their Scriptural role to lead well and it contributes to greater dishealth in the congregation as a whole. Sadly, there are boards that do this over and over and over. One of the common symptoms of this are congregations that are plateaued or in decline: it is the inevitable result of poor leadership by boards.
How does one deal with a situation like this? It takes one or two courageous board members who will challenge their board to be honest and to deal with real situations in a healthy way - to refuse to avoid conflict and problems that exist. Or, members of the congregation who sense what is happening and challenge the board to do the same. Hard questions by board members or congregants at least bring the issues to the surface and gives either the board or the congregation the option of dealing with them.
In cases where boards and congregations continue to avoid problems or conflict there is one common response. The best leaders in the congregation as well as those who understand the dynamics quietly migrate out of the church. They are unwilling to stay indefinitely in a dysfunctional church system (which is what this is - like a dysfunctional family) because they know it is not healthy and will not be effective in growing healthy disciples. Nor do they want to bring their friends to a sick church.
Boards and congregations who don't honestly face their issues are in fact sick churches. Sick churches cannot grow healthy disciples. In fact, what they do is to create sick and dysfunctional disciples over time. Those who speak truth or challenge the "system" are often marginalized and find that they don't fit in - it is no different than a sick or dysfunctional family. So either one conforms and joins the system or they leave for a healthier congregation.
There are no easy solutions for sick boards or congregations. The greatest hope comes when they can face the fact that they need help and seek that help from outside their board or congregation - a neutral third party who can speak truth to their situation. But that takes a humility that sick boards often do not have. Usually when faced with truth they circle the wagons to protect themselves and avoid the hard work of honest evaluation and renovation.
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