Faith, the public square and Sandy Hook

It should not have passed anyone's attention that in the wake of major tragedies in our country we turn back to God and faith. The President's address to the families and friends at the memorial service for the victims of Sandy Hook was full of Scripture. Why? Because in the end it is a loving and sovereign God that we turn to when life comes undone.

What is ironic is that with God taken out of the public square in so many arenas it is only after great tragedy has struck that we have the option of talking about Him and our faith. One cannot do it in school but at the memorial service for children from the school one can and does. When society has nowhere else to turn it turns to God. When we should have been turning to God all along, at least in public there are many places we cannot.

It reminds us that whether we can address the faith question in public or not, we ought to be doing it in private with individuals on a regular basis. Our society lives with the bifurcation of shunning faith in the public square on a regular basis but needing to turn to it when there is no where else to turn. We, on the other hand need not and should not live that way. It is daily faith and its expression with others that allows us to face whatever undone moments we our our society find ourselves facing.

If faith is the place to turn in tragedy it is the place to turn to when times are good. We should not allow the rules of society or the courts regarding faith in the public square to impact our sharing of the good news one on one all the time. There are many who would shun God from all of life except secret individual beliefs. That this is not a real answer becomes evident every time our nation faces its challenges when the only place to turn to for comfort is Scripture and God and His Hope.

This is ironic. And challenging. But it also reveals that deep down, when the chip are down people know that there is a God that we must turn to. Let's make that God well known and lift His reputation high in our daily interactions.

Guarding our humility as leaders

Those who experience some leadership success run the risk of starting to believe their own press. After all, if I can make such successful ministry calls and grow a church, team or organization, I must be pretty good. And the better I think I am , the less likely I am to guard a humble spirit which is at the core of leaders of deep influence. How do we guard a humble heart?

First, always remember that our leadership is not about us. Each of us who leads are in a stewardship role. We steward the mission of the organization, the people who work with us (not for us), the strategies that will get us to success and the resources that are entrusted to us. As soon as we start to believe that it is about us, our leadership capital starts to dry up.

Second, surround yourself with highly competent people who will tell you the truth. Leaders are in a naturally precarious position. Many people will not tell their leaders what they are thinking and many leaders do not like to hear bad news. Some leaders actively work to stifle honest opinions. The result is that leaders often do not hear what they need to hear.

Wise leaders develop an ethos of candid conversation both with those close to them as well as throughout the organization. Sometimes it does not feel good because people can be unloving and critical in their critique but the alternative is to not know what we need to know.

Here is where unhealthy leaders flounder on the shoals. Because they see dissent, criticism or contrary opinions as a personal attack on them they stifle honest, open dialogue. Some actually respond in anger when contrary opinions are voiced. In shutting down conversation out of personal insecurity they both lose the intellectual capital of others and they don’t hear what they really need to hear. It is a net loss for the ministry and an indication that the leader thinks it is about him not the mission.

In our organization we have a rule that no issue is out of bounds for discussion as long as there are not personal attacks or hidden agendas. We don’t want any elephants in the room. At one meeting I was at early in my leadership of ReachGlobal I was told that there were many elephants in the room so I simply said, "lets name them.” The thing about elephants is that once you name them they are not elephants anymore.

Third, listen a lot more than you talk. Insecure leaders talk – a lot. They need to convince themselves and others that they have what it takes to lead although no one is fooled by their verbosity. Some time ago I had a lunch with a new CEO of a major Christian agency of which our organization was a member. In a two hour lunch this CEO asked me one question – at the very end. I walked away thinking, “he is not going to last long because it is all about him – not those he is serving. Within two years he was released from his position.

Listening carefully to others is both a posture and a builder of humility. It says, “I want to hear what you are thinking because you are valuable to this organization.” It indicates an otherness rather than selfishness. It sends a loud message that it is about “us” not “me.” I frequently talk to staff of Christian organizations who tell me that staff meetings are about their leader talking to them, not listening to them. It may be a sign of poor EQ, or insecurity or hubris, but it is not a posture of humility.

Listening also grows humility because we realize that there is a lot of intellectual capital beyond our own that we need to pay attention to. Those who listen well are far more likely to lead well than those who don’t.

Fourth, ask a lot of questions of a lot of people. The best leaders I know cultivate the art of asking questions. They are curious; they want to get into the heads of others. They want to learn and to gain different perspectives. Asking questions sends a strong message, “I don’t have all the answers and you are needed.” Ironically many leaders think that asking questions is a sign of weakness but the opposite is true. It takes a strong, self defined and personally secure leader to ask questions. They don’t need to pretend they have the answers and they are willing to be challenged by others.

In fact, questions work exceedingly well when one is being challenged or even attacked. Rather than bite back and escalate the situation questions can engage and deescalate the conversation. Saying “Talk to me about that” or “Unpack that for me” and “Help me understand your view on that” engage the other individual and keep the connection rather than cutting off the conversation with a rebuttal.

This is where good EQ matters. Internally we may be ready to take a big swipe and the individual may even deserve it. But wise leaders often guard their responses (and mouths) in order to manage what could otherwise be a problematic conversation.

Fifth, serve those who serve you. Leaders of deep influence serve those on their team and help them become the best that they can be as individuals, professionals and as contributors to the common mission. A great orchestra conductor helps to pull the very best music out of the group by coordinating, giving feedback, practicing and encouraging. We will only be as good as the team we lead so helping them become all they can be is foundational to our leadership.

Relationship also matters – not as one of the boys or girls – but genuine concern for those who are part of our staff. Staying connected, showing genuine concern and thanking them appropriately means a lot. People want to know that they are respected, appreciated and that their leader is more than just their leader. It is people who make ministry possible!

Too often leaders who are experiencing success move away from staying close to and serving those they lead. There is a temptation to move toward their own priorities rather than continuing to lead their team. After all, they are now important and influential! This results in a loss of leadership capital as their key team members feel abandoned or undervalued. As long as we lead others, the mission we serve and the people we serve must be our highest work related priority. When our personal success gets in the way of our leadership there is a net loss to that leadership. It has become about “me” not “us.”

What happens when churches lose their way

Many of us have experience with churches that lose their way. This happens when there is no longer a compelling vision, when there is not a discernible or consistent direction, when focus and clarity have been lost and leaders cannot answer the important questions of direction, mission, vision, and what we are after. It could be defined as mission malaise with serious consequences that are often not noticed until it is too late.

There are several symptoms of churches that lose their way. If you sense this is happening it is critical to deal with it as quickly as possible because the longer it lasts the more difficult it is to bring health and missional focus back.

Here are symptoms to watch for:

A clearly defined direction and vision is no longer being articulated. When this happens you know that whatever ministry vision was once present has dissipated and leaders have not been able to come to clarity on what is next. It is a dangerous place to be.

A restlessness is felt in the congregation by key leaders. Some people are not bothered by lack of direction and missional energy but good leaders are. That restlessness is felt in raising questions of direction and vision and sometimes pressure put on the senior pastor and the board.

Good leaders quietly leave. One of the most dangerous issues for churches that have lost their way is that good leaders and people who have been deeply involved in ministry over the years quietly leave the congregation. They usually don't make a statement but they want to be in a place where there is missional passion. Life is short and they want to be a part of a congregation that is serious about reaching their community and world. The sad thing is that when the church wakes up (if it does), the very people who could have helped them move forward are now gone.

Politics and infighting increases. When people are not focused on missional issues they start focusing inward and often get involved in petty conflicts that would never have arisen if we had more important issues to tackle. Church conflict is often a symptom of a church that has lost its way.  

Plateau and decline. When a church loses its way it usually stops growing, loses ministry energy and often starts to lose people as mentioned above. 

The explanations of leaders for lack of ministry energy, decline and people leaving does not make sense. Pastors and leaders of churches that lose their way often circle the wagons and either cast blame on others (often those who have left), circumstances or spiritualize the issue. When their explanations don't make sense to the average individual you can extrapolate that they know they are in trouble but don't know the way out. 

If your church has lost its way take action sooner rather than later. The longer you wait to deal with the need to re-envision and re-energize ministry the harder it will be. It is never easy to admit that you are in a bad place but until we face reality we cannot move on toward health.

A Lesson from Sandy Hook

Americans often think that evil is the providence of other places and other countries. The Sandy Hook massacre has reminded us that evil is among us as well as it exists among all people. And it impacts all of us. In fact, a youngster from a family that attended and EFCA church (my employer) was killed. Evil lives among all of us - a result of the fall. Our nation does not have an exemption from the impact of evil.

Our nation has deep needs. Tragedies like this that remind us of evil. Gridlock in Washington that prevents us from coming to common solutions. Economic issues that are impacting many. If there was ever a time to pray more and be more committed to reaching our communities it is now. 

It is hard to get ones hands around the kind of evil we witnessed yesterday. I never will. But such events make it possible to get our hands around the need our society has for the Gospel of Jesus which transforms lives, communities and institutions. Indeed, I am sure that in the aftermath of this event, the love of Jesus will be deeply evident through His people as they minister to the families impacted. We can join them by praying that God would be a comfort and that open hearts would turn to Him in a time of need.

There will be much debate about how to prevent such events in the future. More programs, gun control, security and perhaps other solutions. The real solution is the Gospel of Jesus. 

In times like this I am reminded of Paul's words to the Corinthians. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows (2 Corinthians 1; 3-5)."

The difference between urgent and strategic

I live with a sense of urgency that the Gospel becomes well known in a world that desperately needs a Savior. Anyone who does not does not understand the eternal implications of an eternity without Christ.

That urgency, however, should never cause us to short circuit our effectiveness by failing to do the hard work of being strategic in our ministries. Many ministry staff are tempted for the sake of urgency to move fast rather than to  plan for lasting and healthy ministry results. Moving fast to meet needs often causes us to cut corners and allow urgent action to overshadow long term results.

This is certainly true in missions where it is easy to see a need, jump in and take quick action without the hard work of understanding the context, developing local relationships and working toward developing church planting movements that are indigenous, self supporting, reproducing, healthy and interdependent. Urgent action rarely gets one to long term effectiveness.

It can be hard in ministry to be patient in developing strategies for long term results. And many do not. The temptation to do something often gets in the way of thinking through how we are proceeding and the unintended consequences of our strategy. Acting impulsively often yields short term gains at the expense of long term effectiveness. It also can create significant chaos and instability for staff involved. 

Whatever ministry you are involved in, think long term and strategic. Allow the urgency to fuel strategic thinking and Spirit dependence. But don't allow the urgent to short circuit long term and lasting results.

Dumb things senior leaders do

Complain about their board members

Bad move. First it violates board "rules of engagement," second it will get back to those you complain about and it will destroy trust with those board members and you. I recently heard of a pastor who was actually complaining about a board member of his to staff at another church and it came back to bite him and caused great distress for that board member (as it should) and destroyed any trust that was there. If one needs a healthier board or has issues with a board member, work through the issues on the board but never complain about your board members to others. Just as you would not want them to do that about you.

Create an "us versus them" mentality

This occurs when a leader blames the board for decisions that they or their staff do not like. Wait! The leader is part of that board that made the decision. In fact it is his/her senior team so to blame them is simply not to take responsibility for decisions that they made. In our organization we call this Leadership Default! Any time a leader blames the board for a decision whether subtly or outright he divides the board and the staff and creates an unhealthy us verses them mentality.

Take credit for success

It is a bad thing to do! Yes, organizations need great leadership and the quality of leadership matters. But, the fact is that great leaders create an environment where staff and volunteers can shine and in the end it is everyone involved who was responsible for success. Great leaders always take the spotlight of success off of themselves and put it on all those who made it happen. They are humble, they are appreciative, they thank others and lift others up. They don't have a need to be the one who gets the credit. Where they do, everyone notices!

Blame others for failure

Here is the flip side. When we see success we look out the window at those who created it and lift them up. When we see failure we look in the mirror and take the blame. Great leaders don't blame others but take the responsibility when things don't go well. Hard? Sometimes yes. But then again if we have nothing to prove and nothing to lose and if we are ultimately responsible we do the right thing and take the responsibility.

Are defensive

One of the common sins of ministry leaders is defensiveness. I think of pastors who are not administratively or leadership savvy but won't let qualified lay leaders help. Or leaders who need to be right all the time and have the answers (no one does so we need to get over it). Too many ministry leaders are not teachable, are not approachable, are not willing to listen to truth and in the end hurt themselves and the organization they lead by their hardheadedness. I ran into that buzz saw of defensiveness recently with a leader and it was ugly. Defensiveness and lack of teachability is foolish.

Fail to regularly thank volunteers and staff

We can never thank good people enough for their efforts, their prayer, their financial gifts and their work. Not doing so is a sign of narcissism - obviously it is about us. But ministry is not about us as leaders, it is about unleashing others to be successful whether in a professional or volunteer capacity. Thank people often and with sincerity and you will be loved for it.

Don't develop their staff

One of the top priorities of leaders is to develop those who work for them, to help them become all that they can be in line with how God has gifted and wired them. Why is it foolish not to develop staff or volunteers? Because the success of the organization depends directly on how good our staff are, how well they understand their wiring and strengths and how they are deployed in their sweet spot. And it is what Jesus did with His disciples, and it is what He wants us to do with others (Ephesians 4:12). Leaders who do not develop others do not understand leadership, or think that it is all about them.

Don't set clear expectations
When staff don't know what is truly expected of them, they are in a no win situation. If they move ahead on something and show initiative but it is the wrong initiative (the senior leader was not clear on boundaries) they get dinged. Much staff frustration revolves around unclear expectations or expectations that change unexpectedly - usually because the senior leader is not clear either. Clarity for all is a gift. Lack of clarity is a curse. The number one job of leaders is to communicate clarity for his/her team. The number two job of leaders is to ensure that that missional clarity is delivered on.

Criticize staff in front of others
This is one of the most disempowering and dishonoring things a leader can do. There are certainly times when staff need direct and honest feedback but praise should be public and criticism should be private. It is a matter of honor and respect. Staff rarely resent honest feedback in private but will remember it for a long time if done publicly.

Dictate rather than collaborate
I have a friend who thinks that leadership means telling other people what to do! That is rarely good leadership. Rather, leaders build teams, empower people to use their gifts and wisdom and create a collaborative environment where the team functions together under good leadership. Leaders who dictate, or micromanage do not understand the nature of leadership and will not find or keep quality staff.

Treat staff carelessly
Every interaction with staff carries with it a message of respect, disrespect, appreciation or lack of it. It is easy for leaders to treat these relationships carelessly since they have authority. They expect respect but don't always convey it and there is not much staff can do when they don't receive it. Every interaction that is careless, harsh, unkind or sharp costs a leader coinage with staff. Wise leaders treat others the way the desire to be treated.

Ultimately when we do these dumb things we hurt the organization and the staff who work for us. Every once in a while it pays to take a step back and honestly evaluate the quality of our leadership - and perhaps even ask our staff how we are doing.

How we respond to the coaching of our supervisor makes all the difference

Healthy organizations build into their system a mentoring/coaching component to ensure that all staff are developing their professional skills on an ongoing basis. Unfortunately many supervisors treat this as a formality rather than an opportunity to develop their staff and many staff treat this as a necessary evil rather than as an opportunity to grow.

All of us should be under authority. It may be the authority of a supervisor or of a board but unless one is self employed, we live with authority. The question is whether we see the coaching and mentoring of our supervisor (or board) as a necessary evil or as an opportunity to grow, learn and develop. Our attitude toward the input of our supervisor(s) has a great deal to do with our capacity to grow.

Good supervisors want to see their staff flourish. The better my staff becomes, the better our ministry so I will do whatever it takes to develop and help my staff flourish. Good staff come to this relationship with both expertise and humility. They are on staff because of their expertise but they understand their limitations as well and desire to grow. Good supervisers have the ability to help staff think with greater clarity about their roles and how best to fulfill them.

As one who is both a supervisor and supervised (by the president of our denomination) I both want to help others grow and I want to grow. With those I supervise I desire to challenge and clarify and see their potential released. In my relationship with my supervisor I also want to be growing and released which requires me to take off my leader hat at times and put on the learner hat. Lets face it, we often like to mentor others more than be mentored as the former puts us in a position of influence while the latter requires a spirit of humility and learning. Of course leaders who cannot follow don't belong in leadership so it is a good balance and regular reminder.

Supervisors who take a mentoring role seriously think about how they can best coach their staff. Staff who take the input of their supervisor seriously prepare carefully for their monthly meeting. When it becomes perfunctory it loses its value. When both parties take it seriously it is deeply valuable.