A lesson of Good Friday

One of the lessons of Good Friday is that what appears to be true is not always true. On this day the cosmic battle between Satan and God culminated in what Satan thought was his greatest victory. That battle had been waged from the time of the fall (Genesis 3:15) where God made it clear that one day Satan would be defeated. But on this day, Satan knew he had won. The Son of God is on the cross, alone, abandoned even by His Father who didn't seem able to rescue Him. Thirty pieces of silver was all it had taken, the best deal ever in the history of evil.

The disciples knew it was over. Jesus' friends knew it was over. The Jewish authorities knew it was over - their problem solved, a rival gone. Not only that but for those who cared, evil had won over good and righteousness. For the followers of Christ, this was the ultimate sadness. They had expected righteousness to triumph and instead, evil had prevailed. The one who had called Himself the Son of God, dead on a bitter cross. 

Little did they know that what appeared to be the final chapter was only the beginning of a new chapter because out of the jaws of apparent defeat, Christ would not only be resurrected but in that resurrection he sealed the fate of Satan and evil and unrighteousness for all time and made it possible for the created to have a relationship with the creator.Apparent defeat was only the prelude to total victory! 

Not for one moment had the events of Good Friday been out of the control of the heavenly Father even though it looked like the Father had lost all control. He is sovereign and nothing under His control can ever be out of control. The world learned that on Easter Sunday.

Think about your own life for a moment. Where are the areas that seem to be out of control? Where does it feel like evil has won? Where are the apparent areas where you feel defeat, discouragement, sadness or pain? It is easy to see the Good Friday moments in our lives when it is clear that God has not acted and we need His help. It is harder to wait for the resurrection moments when God shows up as He always does and redeems what we thought was unredeemable - often in surprising and unique ways.

Whatever your circumstance you can be sure that Easter is coming and that things are not always what they appear to be. In the end, nothing that is in His control can ever be out of control and God alwaysprevails. Our job is to walk by faith in the Good Friday moments of life when life is hard and hope is scarce, waiting for our Easter to arrive when He shows up and redeems our situation. The fun thing about Easter was that it was such a surprise. Invite Jesus to surprise you in your situation today.

Joining God in His work

I remember the day my then four year old son was waxing eloquently to me about how important his mother's work was because she was a nurse who saved people's lives. So after listening I asked, "Jon, what do I do?" "Oh" he said, you are just and ordinary worker!"

It was a funny moment. But it reminded me that many people feel that about themselves. That they are just ordinary workers and that their contribution to God's work does not really matter. They don't have seminary training, serve behind the scenes, are not up front and really don't have much to contribute of substance.

It is not true! It is false! It is a lie of the evil one who wants us and those in our churches to believe it! Unfortunately many do and the rest of us are not doing enough to communicate a different truth.

Here is the different truth! "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10)."

The word workmanship means a one of a kind work of art. Every one of God's children is a one of a kind creation, uniquely created for a unique work (good works) prepared by God in advance for them.

I like the terminology of "good works." God is not asking us do something spectacular. He is asking us to use the wiring and gifting that he gave us in "good works" among those we have influence and in the corners of the world that we live, work, and play.

He wants us to know that he gave us the ability to do good works for Him wherever we find ourselves and we do that as we simply use the gifting and wiring he gave us (each one unique) with the people and situations we find ourselves with. It is not complicated but it is very, very powerful.

Think of the power if everyone who called your church their church home believed that God had given them the opportunity to do good works on His behalf in their workplace, neighborhood or among those with whom they have influence. Acts of kindness done in Jesus' name. Decisions of righteousness done in Jesus' name. People befriended in Jesus' name. The sick visited in Jesus' name. The gift of encouragement in Jesus' name. An offer of prayer in Jesus' name.

To often we send the message that "ministry" is what happens at church. No, God wants each of us to live out our faith in ways that only we uniquely can do in places that only we can uniquely influence. It is as simple as good works done in Jesus' name in line with how God uniquely wired me and the places in which He gives me influence and presence.

Good works - in Jesus' name. So simple and so powerful because when we live out our calling in our places the Holy Spirit penetrates those places and peoples lives are changed.

Learning to have probing conversations

Learning how to have probing conversations with others is a great skill for those who desire to have influence. This not an intrusive conversation but one that helps people come to clarity about something in their lives. Nor is it a prescriptive conversation but one that helps another come to understand themselves and their situation with greater clarity so that they can move in appropriate ways.

This is a skill that can be learned - I had to learn it. I am by nature inquisitive and a learner but in years past I did that analysis largely in my own brain: Quietly and systematically. That worked well when it was something I needed to figure out in my life but it didn't do as well in solving organizational problems where the intellectual capital of others is so valuable, nor in helping others come to clarity on issues they are facing.

A probing conversation is one of questions, reflecting back what you are hearing for clarity and unpeeling a situation like one would an onion, one thin layer at a time. It is not done in a hurry but in a relaxed setting designed for reflection.

It's questions are many:
"Tell me more about that."
"Why did you take that course of action?"
"What did you learn through that situation?"
"What drives you?"
"What does a good day look like for you?" "A bad day?"
"What in life gives you the greatest sense of purpose and satisfaction?"
"Why?"
"Tell me about your strengths and their shadow side."
"Tell me about your family of origin and how it has shaped you."

Probing conversations are full of thoughtful questions, careful listening, clarifying what one has heard, the silence of thinking and drilling down in order to help someone else understand themselves better. It is a key tool for leaders, supervisors or just friends who want to help another think deeply about their lives.

Perhaps the most important question we could ask ourselves and others is why? Why do I say yes to so many things? Why don't I delegate more? Why does so and so push all my buttons? Why am I defensive about certain things? The why question is so powerful first because it helps us understand our motives behind our actions and second, often reveals weaknesses in our practices or habits. It is powerful precisely because it makes us question the status quo and prevents us from thinking better and differently and more freshly.

Thus we can have equally probing conversations with ourselves and the wise among us do it all the time. It is in self-examination that we  better understand ourselves, especially as we allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate the recesses of our hearts, minds, emotions and motives. 

Our world is filled with surface conversation and too little deep conversation that helps us and others live with greater self-awareness. Every one of us can work to change that by asking the right questions at the right time, of ourselves and others.

The Death of believers

In recent months I have seen a number of loved ones die as well as watched other friends struggle with what could be terminal illnesses. Even when death comes at an old age it is a sad thing. There will be no more conversations, shared memories or friendship, for spouses left behind loneliness becomes an enemy: a friend is gone and there is no denying the grief.

This is perhaps doubly so because we know that physical death only entered the world because of sin, along with illness, decay, and all the other suffering and sorrows experienced in this life. Every funeral is a reminder of Adam's sin and our own and its consequences. 

Yet every funeral for a believer who has gone home to be with Jesus is a reminder of something else: We were made by Him, in His Image, to enjoy unending and unfractured relationship with Him and that is what lies on the other side of the thin veil that separates this world and the next. There is no greater joy that what we will experience when we look into the eyes of infinite love and grace when we see Jesus.

But not just for us. In Psalm 116:1 the Psalmist makes an amazing statement: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants." Why? because they have run the race and kept the faith, to quote Paul. And, because they will be complete in their fellowship with God for all eternity. The Image has been restored and along with it everything God made us to be - in His presence.

Every longing of our hearts on that day will be fulfilled in a way that we cannot even fathom. We will realize that for all our love of life, that this world is but a shadow of the one to come and we will emerge like through a deep cloud into complete beauty and clarity. We will finally be home: really, truly, completely home in every possible way. And we will have no end of time to mar the perfection we will experience in Him, in one another and in our own souls!

We know that Jesus shares in our grief when a loved one dies. He did with Mary and Martha at the death of Lazarus and He shares all sorrows and comforts us in all pain. But we also know that even as He comforts us He is blessed every time one of His is finally and completely home. It is precious to Him because we are precious to Him and we were fully made for Him. In fact, He awaits each of our arrival in a heavenly kingdom  that will never pass away and where we will realize how dark was the glass we saw through on this side of eternity.

Why boards must always speak with one voice

One of the key principles of healthy board governance is that boards always speak with ONE (corporate) voice! In other words, while robust dialogue and candid discussion takes place within the board room, once a decision is make it has only ONE voice and that ONE voice is the will of the majority, thus the will and decision of the board.

Why is this so important? First, it is the nature of boards themselves. They are by definition a corporate group that must make corporate decisions. While a board is made up of multiple individuals, it is a single (corporate) entity and as such cannot have multiple points of view when it speaks. The whole premise of a board and that of governance is that it is a single entity. When board decisions are disagreed with publicly by a board member it is no longer a single entity but several!

That is why when a board does not speak with one voice it often creates division within a church body. After all, if board members are not united by the decision they made, why should the congregation be united when they make a decision. We expect that the congregation, having voted on something (when that happens) will support the decision. When they don't see that happening at the board level, the board itself is training the congregation that they don't need to either and that it is OK not to support a corporate congregational decision. That of course undermines the health and unity of the church.

It also creates confusion. When a board as a whole makes a recommendation and individual board members dissent from that decision in public, what is the congregation to think? As a congregational member I would assume that the board itself does not really know what the direction should be and therefore the recommendation of the board carries little or no weight. Further, the board member who dissents is actually dissenting with himself/herself (how confusing is that?) because he/she is a member of the corporate group that made a corporate decision which he/she is now disagreeing with.

One of the highest qualifications for a board member is that of humility because all board members must submit their preferences to the preferences of the group. It is also why I say that "boards operate without a board covenant at their own risk." The covenant spells out how the board operates and the commitments that board members make to each other. One of the foundational commitments is that board members always support a board decision once it is made. They agree to speak with ONE voice.

Ununified boards outside the board room kill good governance, model poor behavior, create division and confusion in the congregation and are a violation of healthy governance practices. They hurt the very entity they are charged with leading and protecting.

A book for those who follow global politics

 

While the title may be a bit stiff: The Revenge of Geography: What the map tells us about coming conflicts and the battle against fate, this is a fascinating book on both world history and current events. I would recommend it to those involved in missions or those who simply want to understand global realities at a deeper level.

There are few contemporary authors who understand current events better than Robert Kaplan. Taking our world a section at a time - looking at how geography shaped their history and current situation, he also gives a glimpse at where our world is headed - or possible scenarios. 

The implications for missions are significant and thus I recommend this to those who are missionaries or those simply interested in global politics. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Good leaders are flexible leaders

Leaders with good EQ are both self defined and flexible. Their self definition becomes a compass directionally but within that direction they are highly flexible. For some, leadership is telling others what they will do and getting their way. For healthy leaders, direction setting includes other key stakeholders and then they are flexible on the strategies needed to go in that direction.

Most issues where leaders are inflexible and need to be right or get their own way are not worth the inflexibility. The very reason that church leadership was designed as a team, for instance, goes to the value of the counsel of multiple wise leaders. Most of the hills leaders choose to die on cause blood to be shed – rarely their own – for causes not worth dying for.

This is where being self defined but able to invite dialogue and stay in relationship becomes so important. Without this it is our way or the highway. With this it is possible to come to a corporate strategy to move in the direction that has been set.

Many of the conflicts that leaders find themselves in are a direct result of either poor self definition or inflexibility to negotiate a common course of action. Good leaders are highly flexible and are masters at helping other good people come to a common strategy on ministry that allows the ministry to move in the preferred direction. Black and while individuals, on the other hand tend to polarize rather than bring people together.

I recently watched a senior pastor lose a number of staff, key leaders and volunteers from his church because of inflexibility over issues that could easily have been avoided and which were hills not worth dying on. Rather than bring a group together to help find a common consensus, he found it necessary to personally define what would happen and in the end lost key supporters in the church. His lack of flexibility and black and white thinking caused polarity rather than inclusiveness which ended in great and unnecessary pain.

There are issues that are non-negotiables for leaders in order to achieve missional effectiveness. Most are not. The flexibility we have is a sign of good EQ - or lack of it.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.