Key lessons I have learned about leadership along the way

 

Learning to lead well is learned the hard way over time. I took time recently to consider what I know today that I needed to understand better as a young leader. It is a long list that simply says how little I knew about good leadership as a young leader. The raw stuff was there, but there was and is much to learn. If you fit that young leader category, these may be things to consider.

• Many issues are not as urgent as I think they are. Relax, and don't equate all issues to having the same urgency. 

• Flexibility is critical for good leadership. Most of life is not black and white; compromise is essential to getting things done. 

• Necessary or desired changes do not need to take place immediately. As a leader, I can only move as fast as those I lead can follow. I need to be patient and sensitive in leading through change.

• I don't need to take differences personally. It is about the mission, not about me. Pushback and disagreements are healthy if we can come to healthy solutions.

• The key to everything is relationships. It pays to develop relationships even with those who disagree with me. Mutual respect and understanding come through relationships.

• Anxiety is wasted energy. Don't worry about things that one cannot control. The worst is unlikely to happen anyway.

• I can be wrong, and it does not hurt my leadership. Develop a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose attitude," and one gains freedom.

• Just be me. I cannot lead like anyone else. God made me who He made me; I need to lead from who He created me to be. Learn to be comfortable in one's own skin.

• Don't die on anthills! It is painful and unnecessary. There are some hills to die on, but only a few. Be wary of which one you take your stand on.

• Don't judge motives. We usually don't know what they are, and almost always, when we attribute poor motives to others, we are wrong.

• Relationships are everything. Influence comes through relationships, so press into those hard with those one needs to work with, even if they seem to be detractors. 

• I should never measure myself against others. That is a false measurement. I should measure my progress and whether I am better today than yesterday. 

• My own inner life must take precedence over all other things. The healthier I am emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, the better my leadership. The inner life always comes first.

• I don't need to change the world - and I cannot. What God does want me to do is influence my small corner of the world.

• God is sovereign. When I carry around great anxiety and worry, I try to do His job. I can relax knowing that He is always ultimately in control.

• Not all things get fixed on this side of heaven. God is always sovereign, but He does not force people, and there are situations and people issues that I will not be able to fix.

• Humility is at the core of all good leadership. Arrogance and thinking more of myself than I should get me into trouble. We all overestimate our gifts and importance and underestimate our faults and shadow side.

• Emotional intelligence matters a lot. The more I grow my EQ, my relationships, leadership, and personal health improve.

• God died for the Bride and not the brand. God wants me to focus on His kingdom, not my evangelical brand. I should appreciate all of his players and not just a few.

• I don't need to compete but to be faithful. I am not in competition with others but instead called to be faithful to what He wants me to do. 

• It is OK that not everyone likes me. In fact, if everyone likes me, I am probably not leading well. Popularity is not the end goal of leadership.

• I am only good at a few things. It is how God created me (Ephesians 2:10) and is why I need others around me. Their gifts make up for my many deficits.

• I can never give enough credit away. As a leader, I give credit to the team and take responsibility for the failures. It is what leaders do.

• God can guard my reputation. This means I don't need to - even when people are obnoxious or hurtful.

• If I am threatened by others, that is my problem, not theirs. The question is, "Why do they threaten me, and what does that say about my inner health?" To the extent that I lack personal security, I must press into those EQ issues.

• Perceived failures are usually just growth opportunities. What we define as a failure, God is simply using to grow us into who He wants us to be.

• God can superintend my ministry path. He knows where I will be most valuable and influential. I don't need to seek success but be faithful to where He has called me.

• Position does not equal influence. I can have as much influence as He wants me to have from whatever position or platform God' gives.

• Success must be measured from His rather than the world's perspective. God does not measure success the way the world does. My job is to use the gifts and opportunities He puts in front of me for maximum Kingdom advantage. 

Flexibility is an ability

 

There was a day when the ability to do one thing and do it well was a valuable asset. That day is gone. In fact, we are seeing the rise of the "generalist" in the workplace and ministry who is able to do multiple things rather than simply one thing. The reason for this new found appreciation for the generalist is that the pace of change is so fast today that it is necessary to pivot regularly and that takes the ability to do multiple things and have the ability to change strategies in order to accomplish one's mission.

The generalist often has a skill that others don't have: flexibility. This is the ability to shift one's focus, strategy or tactics easily to meet new demands and a changing environment. We have watched the need for flexibility take on new meaning in the age of Covid. All of us know people who were flexible in meeting this new environment and others who struggled in a big way. Flexibility is an ability and an increasingly important ability.

How do we develop the ability of flexibility? It largely comes down to how we view the world, our world and ourselves.

First, we need to consciously understand that our world is not static but constantly changing. If we see the world as static, we find security in that unchanging environment and we will resist the inevitable changes in our environment leaving us ineffective. A mindset that expects change and embraces that change is critical to developing flexibility. 

Second, we need to view work as a place of change rather than a place of stability. The mission of an organization may remain the same but tactics and strategies will change regularly, testing our own flexibility and ability to pivot and try new things. Increasingly, risk taking and an entrepreneurial spirits are necessary to meet our changing environments. If we regularly expect change and embrace it, flexibility will come. If we don't expect or want change, we will atrophy.

Third, we need to develop a mindset that sees our organization's ministry as stable but the things we do to accomplish that mission as changeable. Thus, a large part of my effectiveness is found in my flexibility to change roles and tactics to meet that mission. To put it another way,  rather than focusing simply on expertise at what I do, I need to focus on my ability of flexibility. It is going to be those who are flexible who will be the most valuable players in the future.

Can flexibility be learned and developed? I believe the answer is yes. And, it starts in how we think about our skills and our work. Leaders who train and teach the art of flexibility have an advantage over those who don't because flexibility is an ability that is and will be in high demand in rapidly changing environments. It is a worthwhile thing to think through each of your key staff and ask the question as to how flexible they are and how you can intentionally develop this ability.

The art of negotiation and how to ensure that you get what you really need as a leader

Good leaders are highly flexible on most things but very inflexible on a few things.

In fact, it is their flexibility on the majority of issues that makes it possible for them to be inflexible on a few truly important issues. 

Where should we be flexible as leaders? On those issues that are a matter of personal preference! Many decisions are not critical to the success of an organization. They could be decided in a variety of ways and still accomplish what needs to be accomplished. The best leaders don't insist on their way or their preferences in these areas. They save their powder for those few areas where they need to be inflexible. Their flexibility on most things gives them the coinage to be inflexible on a few things.

Where should we be inflexible as leaders? On issues that go to the heart of our mission, our culture, our non-negotiables and our central work. These are not areas of preference but of driving the mission of the organization. If you compromise here you lose effectiveness and momentum. Your organization may even go into free fall. On these things a leader must stand firm. Staff will usually give leaders that privilege when they know that on most things their leader is flexible. The fact that they are inflexible on these few issues tells staff it must be important.

Flexibility on most issues allows leaders to be inflexible on the truly important issues. 

This is part of the art of negotiation over the long haul of leadership. You give up your preferences on the less important things so that you can realize your preferences on the most important things.

Don't confuse the two!

Which world are you living in: The world of mindset or the world of methods?

There is a major difference between the world of "mindset" and the world of "methodology." Think for instance of the last decades of the church where successful churches would market their methodology and other congregations would rush to put that methodology into place in their own church. Whether preaching style, music, small groups or some other ministry facet, many are quick to chase methodology that they think will get them to the next level.

Methodology matters but a whole lot less than we think. What matters much more is the mindset that we bring to our ministry leadership. Mindset trumps methodology every time. Let me explain.

In our rapidly changing world where we minister in different contexts (just think of the differing generations and needs of those generations in the local church or the different situations we face in missions depending where in the world we are) methodologies will need to be exceedingly flexible. Even methods that may be powerful drivers of our ministry today will most likely not be in ten years. 

When I talk to ministry leaders I am far more interested in their mindset than I am in their methods. In fact it is their mindset - the underlying philosophy of their ministry that tells me the most about who they are. Mindset determines ministry methodology, not the other way around.

I will often ask ministry leaders what the central focus of their ministry is: What do they do all the time as staff? One answer is to say, "We provide the very best programming possible and believe in excellence in all we do." Another might say, "We are always encouraging our people to develop relationships with non-believers and to have influence in their circle of relationships." 

Think about those two mindsets: The first is primarily about a methodology to bring people into the church while the second is about a mindset to get their people outside the church and into meaningful relationships. How they do it will vary but the mindset is a very different mindset than the first. Methodology should serve the mindset, rather than the other way around.

Your mindset sets the stage for the results you want in ministry. Strategies follow from mindset rather than the other way around.We often confuse the two but the distinction is critical.

Good leaders are flexible leaders

Leaders with good EQ are both self defined and flexible. Their self definition becomes a compass directionally but within that direction they are highly flexible. For some, leadership is telling others what they will do and getting their way. For healthy leaders, direction setting includes other key stakeholders and then they are flexible on the strategies needed to go in that direction.

Most issues where leaders are inflexible and need to be right or get their own way are not worth the inflexibility. The very reason that church leadership was designed as a team, for instance, goes to the value of the counsel of multiple wise leaders. Most of the hills leaders choose to die on cause blood to be shed – rarely their own – for causes not worth dying for.

This is where being self defined but able to invite dialogue and stay in relationship becomes so important. Without this it is our way or the highway. With this it is possible to come to a corporate strategy to move in the direction that has been set.

Many of the conflicts that leaders find themselves in are a direct result of either poor self definition or inflexibility to negotiate a common course of action. Good leaders are highly flexible and are masters at helping other good people come to a common strategy on ministry that allows the ministry to move in the preferred direction. Black and while individuals, on the other hand tend to polarize rather than bring people together.

I recently watched a senior pastor lose a number of staff, key leaders and volunteers from his church because of inflexibility over issues that could easily have been avoided and which were hills not worth dying on. Rather than bring a group together to help find a common consensus, he found it necessary to personally define what would happen and in the end lost key supporters in the church. His lack of flexibility and black and white thinking caused polarity rather than inclusiveness which ended in great and unnecessary pain.

There are issues that are non-negotiables for leaders in order to achieve missional effectiveness. Most are not. The flexibility we have is a sign of good EQ - or lack of it.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.