Another word for unteachability is arrogance

I am always fascinated when I meet people who are truly unteachable. I have come to the conclusion that they suffer from arrogance. If I am unwilling or unable to receive constructive feedback I am saying "I am right" rather than "tell me more." 

In talking to a senior pastor recently who was involved in significant conflict in his church centered around how he led, I asked him if he would do anything differently. He said "no!" I was amazed. I have never been in conflict where I would not do something different. What he said was that he stood for truth which by implication meant that everyone who saw issues in his leadership obviously did not. Where do you go from there. My guess is that he will take his same issues to his next leadership role because he is unwilling to admit there was anything he did wrong. Or even invite a conversation around it. When we don't learn from our tough times we take our issues to the next place of ministry.

Why are people sometimes unteachable? They are hanging on to pride and in their pride they become arrogant thinking they are always right. It is a dangerous place to be and the longer we live there the stronger our defenses become. Sometimes it takes a truly huge breaking before one becomes teachable. 

In the Christian world, arrogance can take on a spiritual quality. "Not only am I right but I have God on my side." In talking to the individual above I questioned some of his actions from a wisdom and discernment perspective. His answer, rather than at least having a conversation was "I am glad I will be judged by God and not by you." Not only was he not willing to at least explore my proposition but he implied that God would vindicate him. How do you dialogue over that?

One thing I loved about my dad was that while had very strong opinions he was also someone who always wanted to get better, always wanted to learn and grow. All of his degrees did not make him arrogant and unteachable.  I understand strong opinions, I have a few not having fallen far from the tree. But I want to be like him in this regard. It is why I try to live the best I can by a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose attitude." 

A humble individual is a teachable individual. They desire and appreciate constructive words that are meant for our good. A true sign of our humility is our teachable and a sign of our pride is the opposite. As we gain experience and success we need to remember that humility is teachability no matter how successful we are. 

TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."

An eternal perspective on life

One of the keys to a life of impact is to take an eternal perspective on all that we do. Life is to be lived in light of eternity and we have only a limited number of years to leave an eternal legacy. That legacy is invariably left in lives that we have influenced for Jesus and investments we have made in making His name well known and lifting his reputation high.


This impacts all of our critical decisions in life. Take a marriage that is rocky where the easy way out would be to bail. An eternal perspective is that the short term pain of healing can lead to the pleasing of the Father and the ability to help other marriages heal. Those who have endured struggles gain divine scars that reflect obedience to the Father and bring Him glory. 

It also influences our monetary decisions. Think about this. The only three things that pass from time to eternity are our own spiritual growth, the lives we have impacted and the treasures we have invested in the kingdom. Those three things are what we take with us to heaven. Thus our kingdom investments with our wealth are seen in light of eternity.

This perspective also reflects our time commitments. It is through relational investments we make that we are able to share the gospel with unbelievers and influence other believers in their spiritual pilgrimage. Taking a generous view of how we invest in others becomes part of our eternal legacy.

The parable of the talents in the Gospels is all about taking an eternal perspective on our lives and commitments. All of us have a choice to live selfishly for ourselves or generously for God. Unfortunately the materialistic and self centered culture in which we live pushes many believers toward selfishness rather than generosity. I had the good fortune of growing up in a home where Jesus always came first and my parents invested heavily in others leaving a legacy of hundreds if not thousands of people who will be with them in heaven. It is a great legacy for them and for their ten children and their families.

What would be the impact if all believers saw their lives in terms of eternity? It would no doubt greatly impact the ministry of the Gospel in our churches and for His kingdom. Remember, "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for (each of) us to do (Ephesians 2:10). He made us for Himself and to join Him in His work of bringing hope and help to a world that badly needs it.

We make our lives count when we measure all of our decisions against our eternal backdrop.

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Marks of a gracious church

Church culture can be harsh as many of us have experienced. It can also be very loving and gracious, where it is intentionally fostered as what God desires for His family. Healthy churches reflect the character and graciousness of Jesus, while unhealthy churches reflect characteristics of our lower natures, such as legalism, infighting, unforgiveness, power plays and harsh judgments of others, and personal agendas. 

The character and spiritual commitments of the leaders of a church will largely determine whether the culture is healthy or unhealthy. Here are some of the marks of a gracious church that reflects the character of Jesus.

Grace abounds
Just like some individuals exude grace and acceptance, so do gracious churches. One feels accepted and loved no matter who you are or what your circumstance. There is no sense of judgment or criticism for those who come. It is a safe place to be who you are and to share your journey. There is no pretense, just grace. You feel at home!

Relationships are healthy
Gracious churches put a premium on healthy relationships. Space is given for differences, conflict is quickly resolved, words are healing rather than hurtful, disagreements are agreeable rather than conflictual, and forgiveness is fast and regular. There is not a culture of gossip but one of acceptance and love. In gracious churches, we seek to see people as Jesus sees them and love them as Jesus loves them.

Jesus is always lifted high
The secret of gracious churches is that their model is always Jesus. When we pursue our own agendas, we create conflict, but when we pursue the character and presence of Jesus, we get peace and grace. When Jesus is central, our own agendas are put aside, while when we are central, Jesus is put aside. Gracious churches keep Jesus central all the time.

The Gospel is central to everything
We often forget that the Gospel is Good News. Gracious churches major on the Gospel: forgiveness, redemption, healing, transformation, and regeneration. The Gospel is the hope that we have to see our lives become like Jesus, and gracious churches communicate that all the time. 

Hope is communicated all the time
What did Jesus bring, and what does the Gospel promise? Hope for the hurting; hope that we can change and become like Jesus; hope for our futures; hope for relational discord; hope for my own sin and dysfunctions. The Gospel is all about hope because it is about the transforming power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. The world brings fear, while the Gospel brings hope.

Truth and grace are inseparable
It is amazing how harsh truth can be communicated compared to the way that Jesus shared the truth with amazing grace. The truth about our human condition is not always nice to hear, and there are sharp differences between the followership of Jesus and the pull of our lower nature but gracious churches, like Jesus, communicate truth with grace. The gospel calls us to a life with Jesus and radical life change, but it does so with love and grace. Think of how gracious Jesus is with our sins and issues. Gracious churches woo people toward God and allow the Holy Spirit to do its work as we encourage people in their spiritual pilgrimage.

Spiritual transformation is the goal
None of this is possible without the goal of helping people become more like Jesus, and that is what gracious churches do. They help people discover and live in grace, think like Jesus, align their life priorities with His and see people and love people as Jesus sees them and loves them. In fact, it is this emphasis on transformation that makes a church gracious because people start to look and act like Jesus. He is the magnet of a gracious church as His people reflect Him. And that makes it a wonderful family to be a part of.

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Why the Church is Filled With Functional Agnostics from Churchleaders.com

Why the Church Is Filled With “Functional Agnostics”

Do you manage others or lead others?

If you are a leader or supervisor, you have responsibility for others. The question is how we use that responsibility. Our approach will have significant implications for the culture we create in our organization or team, as well as the engagement we get from our staff. 

Many leaders feel it is their duty to manage other people. By that, they see themselves as managing what people do, how they do it and the strategies they use. But think about this: do you like to be managed closely? Or do you like the freedom to be given a task and figure out how to accomplish it using your gifts and abilities? In the ministry world, there is a whole lot of micromanagement rather than true leadership.

Leadership is the ability to clarify goals, set a course, choose the right people to accomplish the mission, and, within appropriate boundaries, set staff free to go after the goal. This does not mean that there is a hands-off attitude, but it does mean that we empower the right people to figure out the route to the goal and give them the freedom to do the job.

If we need to manage the process closely, it usually means that we either have the wrong people, have not adequately clarified the task and the boundaries, or have a need to insert ourselves and our ideas where they don't belong. It is a permission-withholding attitude (you cannot do this without my permission) rather than a permission-granting attitude (you are free within boundaries to figure it out). Your best staff will always prefer the latter to the former. 

Clarity of goals, roles, and boundaries are key to leading well. And the ability and willingness to empower people to fulfill their unique responsibilities. Responsibility without empowerment is demoralizing, yet it happens all the time. It is not good leadership, and it does not result in happy, healthy staff. Empowerment is harder because it requires us to clarify as leaders. Our job is to clarify and then empower if we lead staff. Leaders always need to be conscious of whether they are managing staff or leading staff.

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The power of focus

Too many of us do too many things! 

Those things keep us from focusing on the few main things God made us for and where we will be most productive. We do them because we can, forgetting that because we can is not a reason for action. I can do many things, but God has called me to do a few things, and when I focus on the few, I see significant results. 

This is the power of focus. 

It is understanding where we will have the greatest impact if we put our energies there. I know that I can do three things really well. It is how God designed me. When I focus on those three things, I am in my "lane." Everything else I do far less well, so why would I squander my greatest gifting for lesser things? 

Focus is a powerful concept.

I remember, as a kid taking a magnifying glass to paper on a sunny day and setting that paper on fire as the sun's rays were concentrated by that glass on a specific spot. That is the power of focus. It is taking the gifts that God has given and using them to their fullest potential, which means focusing on a few things that God gifted us for. You might just light some fires. 

Leave the distractions behind.

Focus means that we choose not to do many things so that we can concentrate our efforts on the main things. How are you doing on the main things? 

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When we ignore organizational issues it usually comes back to haunt us

Leaders, whether on boards or those who lead organizations and teams, have a responsibility to deal with "known issues" that they face in the organization. Often we choose not to do so because we would rather hope that they will go away. And we are averse to dealing with people or issues that might cause conflict. Unfortunately, they often do not go away but rather become larger.

Take a team member who is not in alignment and is therefore disrupting the rest of the team. Choosing not to deal with that staff member allows them to disempower other teammates, create friction and/or conflict and bring down the level of synergy and cooperation among the team. This is a no-win situation and can easily result in your best team members choosing to opt out rather than deal with the conflict.

There are also instances where team leaders and organizational leaders exhibit behaviors that are highly problematic, but boards are notorious for choosing not to deal with them. After all, they are the leader, and they may be doing great things for the ministry, so who are we to make an issue of it. Often, however, those behaviors are hurting the staff behind the scenes, and eventually there is a good likelihood that it will "blow up" in a fashion that creates chaos in the organization.

In the aftermath of such situations, I have often asked board members whether the behaviors they saw in the leader they were responsible for overseeing would be acceptable in their own workplace. Often the answer is "no." Why I asked were they then acceptable in the church or organization I am working with? There is never a good answer except that they chose to let it ride, hoping it would get better. The fascinating thing is that they usually knew but chose not to act until it was too late and great damage had been done.

The same can be said for issues like a declining financial base or financial choices that, if not addressed, will cripple the ministry. Ministries are notorious for simply believing that God will provide when in fact, we need to make realistic decisions based on wisdom even as we ask God to provide. When we ignore ongoing deficits or spending that is not in line with what we can reasonably expect to come in, it creates a crisis eventually. In one church I worked with, there had not been a balanced budget for almost ten years, and finally, the leader had to leave in order for the elders to bring the financial situation under control and into a healthy spot which took three years and a fair amount of trauma.

It really does not matter what the problematic issue is - there can be many but the job of leaders, whether on boards or others, is to be acutely aware of threats to the ministry and deal with them appropriately when they become aware of them rather than waiting until they become a crisis. Usually, I find that leaders were, in fact aware but chose not to act at the time they became aware. The aftermath was rarely pleasant.

If you are a board member or a leader, make a list of any known issues you have that are a potential threat to the ministry and start having conversations about how you are going to handle it. It is never too early to have the discussion, and it will likely help you stay healthy in the long haul.

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