I wasted my time trying to help too many organizations that didn't really want to change.

It took me way too long to realize that, in too many cases, I was wasting my time trying to help organizations that said they wanted help but, in reality, did not. I don't intend to do that again.

Typically, I will get a call from an individual with an organization who says, "We need help." Often, I will meet with them and explain our process at The Addington Method, and they will say we need this really badly. 

But I have learned that in many cases, they didn't want help in the end. Let me explain and unpack the five questions I now ask before agreeing to help an organization.

One: Do you genuinely want candid feedback?

Almost everyone will say yes, but you quickly discover that the yes only applies to things they want to hear and not to the difficult things they need to hear. The problem is that we only grow when we are willing to listen to things we don't particularly want to hear. That is true in my life, and I suspect it is yours. We are human, and our egos don't like to be bruised, but until we are willing to choose humility over ego, we stay in the ruts that we are in. 

The only way forward is to be willing to accept candid feedback. No leader gets better without it. Those who resist it are wasting your time. They want to do something other than the hard stuff to grow. 

Two: Are you willing to listen to your staff?

In my work, I often conduct Culture Audits. These are one-hour conversations with open-ended questions designed to discover what is happening beneath the organization's surface. It is not unusual that when the results are shared, the people who asked for your help decide that the results—from their own staff—are inaccurate. Mainly because they are inconvenient.

Boards and leaders who do not take the feedback from their staff seriously are doomed to mediocrity. The irony is that in not wanting to accept that input or trying to make it disappear, the staff all know the truth anyway. They see it and live it every day. In addition, if leaders and boards are willing to listen, they can rectify the issues that staff raise and ultimately make the organization healthier and happier. 

When leaders or boards ignore staff feedback, they do so out of their insecurities and egos. A posture of humility and openness to staff experience is one of the greatest gifts leaders and boards can bring. 

If one is unwilling to listen to one's staff and their feedback, one does not really want help.

Three: How much do you want better organizational culture and health?

This is hard work. It demands introspection and a setting aside of our egos to achieve a better and healthier place. If one is only willing to do the easy part but not address the hard issues, one is not ready for this challenge. In order to achieve a better culture, you must deeply want to get there because the route there will be challenging.

Four: Are you willing to invest the time it will take to get to cultural transformation?

Transforming one's culture is not a microwaveable process. Your DNA is imprinted with past habits, attitudes, and ways of doing what you do. Cultural transformation can take several years, but it is deeply worth it. However, it requires focus, honesty, introspection, a willingness to change, and a long-term commitment to healthier and better practices.

Leaders enamored by short-term, flavor-of-the-month ideas may need more time to be ready to help lead cultural transformation, which is long-term work that requires significant patience and resolve. This work takes time, focus, and resolve. In one recent case I was involved in, I told the board that it would require at least a one-year intensive plan to change the toxicity of their organization. In their wisdom, they said, "We want it done in 90 days with executive coaching. Submit a new proposal to reflect that. I chose to step out, knowing they were not serious and that it would not work.

Five: Will you invest appropriate finances to get the help you need?

Important work takes time and requires a financial investment. Too often, organizations are unwilling to get help and make the necessary investments. They think they can handle it. Of course, the very reason they are talking to a consultant is that they have not been able to handle it. Every organization funds what is most important to them. If they are unwilling to fund becoming better and solving real organizational issues, it means that this is not important to them.

If your organization is in need of change or a healthier culture, ask these five questions. You are not serious or ready to move forward until you can genuinely say yes to all five. This is the work we do at The Addington Method, but not until we are convinced an organization is truly serious.

Boards that ignore the obvious and allow toxic behaviors to flourish

The classic book on governance boards is "Boards That Make a Difference" by John Carver. I have encountered some boards that make a huge difference because of their careful governance. But what stands out for me after decades of consulting with boards is the number of boards that ignore the obvious, allow toxic behaviors to flourish in the organization they represent, and look the other way when leaders create toxic cultures and hurt multiple members of their staff with impunity.

A fundamental truth is that boards oversee organizations, and as the highest authority in the organization they oversee, they are ultimately responsible for its health and well-being—not because they manage the organization but because they oversee its leader.

But here is the dirty little secret of many boards. They don't hold the senior leader accountable for the health of the organization and frequently overlook and ignore what is actually taking place in the organization they represent. 

This begs the question of why? In one recent case where I conducted a Culture Audit of a staff of 70 individuals on the East Coast last year, the results painted a picture of massive toxicity. The transcripts of those interviews included 850 pages, and the findings were mind-blowing in their dysfunction. When I shared the results with the board heads nodded up and down in agreement as if to say, we suspected as much. Yet the board did almost nothing to address the toxicity but rather went into a protective mode to ensure that the institution involved looked good to the public rather than became good in its culture. 

The same can be said for many church boards that ignore massive toxicity generated by a senior leader whose narcissistic tendencies leave a pile of bodies on the side of the road for years, creating untold hurt and pain for numerous staff. Rather than holding the leader involved accountable, they often circle the wagons to "protect the wonderful ministry that is taking place." 

In both cases, staff are deeply hurt, but more importantly, their boards have empowered dysfunctional and toxic leaders to flourish at the expense of the staff they oversee. 

Let me make several observations. 

One: boards that make a difference are made up of people who have the courage to call out dysfunction and hold leaders accountable. In fact, the best boards empower leaders and hold them accountable for the health and productivity of the organization they lead. Leaders who are empowered but not held accountable are dangerous leaders who create toxic cultures.

Two: Healthy boards never substitute success at the expense of a healthy culture. Healthy cultures create healthy staff, and the opposite is equally true. Unhealthy leaders create unhealthy work and organizational cultures. For any organization, this is unacceptable. In the end, only healthy cultures can create long-term healthy results, and good board members know this and insist on it. 

Three: Healthy boards are not afraid of the truth. They want to know the true state of affairs in their organization and find ways to gauge its health or dishealth. Unhealthy boards are more concerned about the public image, while healthy boards are more concerned about the true state of affairs within the organization. Time after time, I have encountered boards that intentionally chose to ignore what was obvious to staff and others to protect a public image. 

Four: The whole premise of a healthy board is to empower healthy leaders, to hold leaders accountable for how they lead, and, if necessary, to take remedial action against leaders who consistently violate their leadership trust. Yet this fails to be the case all too often.

In one organization I worked with, two loved leaders had been summarily fired by their senior leader. In meeting with the board I discovered that six other leaders had been fired or chose to leave in the preceding several years. I asked if they had done an exit interview with those leaders, and they said no. So, I contacted each of them and heard a common story of abuse at the hands of a toxic leader. This board had failed in its duty to understand what was going on and to hold their leader accountable. In the end, both the board and the senior leader resigned. As they should have. 

The greatest failure I see with boards today is failing to define what is critically important for their organization and failing to hold their leaders accountable for moving the organization forward toward its preferred future in the context of a healthy culture. 

There is never any excuse for boards that ignore the obvious and allow toxic behaviors to flourish—not Ever! Yet it happens all the time, and those who get hurt are usually the organization's staff. This is inexcusable, wrong, and sad. The victims are the staff who have no recourse as their leader is often the one creating the toxicity and a board that willingly looks the other way because they are unwilling to confront it. 

There are way too many boards that don't make a difference, and that is a leadership failure.

Ten recognizable elements of healthy organizational culture

Organizational culture is not abstract. If it is healthy, it always includes these ten elements. These elements are easily recognizable when present and equally when absent. As you think about the culture in your organization, which of these do you recognize and which are weak or missing?

High clarity around everything that matters. Clarity is the foundation for all healthy cultures. Clarity around who we are, what we are about, where we are going, how we are going to get there, and what our culture must be to reach our preferred future. Clarifying your preferred future is critical because it is the goal that all strategic efforts of the organization must point towards.

Alignment of all staff around that clarity. Without clarity, you cannot have alignment. Once clarity is determined, staffing, programs, plans, and efforts can be aligned to that clarity. Lack of staff alignment is often a symptom of a lack of clarity because, in the absence of clarity, people make up their own clarity, resulting in competing visions rather than a single vision.

Healthy culture throughout the organization. If there are areas of dishealth in the organization, a Culture Audit can uncover them and allow them to be addressed. This is critical to developing a healthier culture as it is the unspoken “elephants” in any organization that sabotages their efforts to become healthier. You cannot have pockets of dishealth that are unaddressed and be a healthy organization.

Contrarian thinking. This is about helping staff think “outside the box” and understand that conventional wisdom is always conventional but not always wisdom. Organizations that desire to leverage themselves for maximum impact encourage innovative thinking and solutions that challenge the way things have been done before. This counterbalances the pitfall of “If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got” syndrome. This starts with a culture where any issue can be put on the table except for a personal attack or a hidden agenda.  Learning a “nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide” attitude where egos are set aside for the common good of the organization changes everything.

A passion for people. Healthy organizations care about their people. They create environments where people thrive and not simply survive. They invite their staff in as active participants, eliminate silos, politics, and turf wars, and ensure that people are in a lane consistent with their wiring and gifts and have the tools they need to accomplish their work.

Intentionality and high accountability. Both intentionality and accountability are only possible with high clarity. With clarity and a description of the preferred future, there can be intentionality in moving in the direction of that preferred future. This also allows for accountability because there is clarity around the role that each plays. Healthy organizations are deeply intentional in their work and create cultures of high accountability.

Metrics that matter. What is measured is what gets paid attention to. It is critical to measure everything that is important to an organization and to find the right metrics to do so. Both soft and hard metrics are important when it comes to culture, and both should be tracked. If it is important, it should have metrics attached to it.

Scalable systems. Healthy organizations build healthy systems so that they do not need to reinvent the way they do what they do and can build on and strengthen those healthy systems. While people often get blamed when things go wrong, it is often true that it was not a people problem but a system problem that has not been well through. Proper systems allow an organization to grow and scale, while faulty systems hold them back.

Return on mission and vision. This is what all organizations should be about. We exist to create value for our customers and those who work in the organization. Healthy organizations are able to identify their return on mission as well as their return on investment. This can be a huge motivator for those who work with you.

Sustainability over the long term. The goal is to have an organization that is learning, growing, getting better, and achieving its goals over the long term. This is all possible if the previous nine elements are in place.

 Leadership coaching, governance/board training, staff/culture audits, change management, conflict management, establishing clarity, creating healthy cultures, leadership, and organizational consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Back to the Garden: 2023 Advent Series

For all of history, men and women have yearned to get back to the garden. Back to innocence from pain, sorrow, sin, disease, hunger, conflict, racism, disappointment, and death. As Crosby, Stills and Nash sang at Woodstock,  “We are stardust, we are golden, and we have to get back to the garden.” We know we have lost something precious and that we live with the consequences on a daily basis. How do we get back to the garden?

The creation accounts in Genesis 1 and 2 describe that garden. After each of the creation days, we read this statement: “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Now, if God thinks something is very good, it has to be very, very good.

The most stunning part of the creation account is this. Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in his own image,  in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” - Genesis 1:26-28.

Here is the stunning thing: God not only chose to create us knowing that we would turn our backs on Him, but he chose to create us in His image. He chose to plant in our souls something of Him. The creator created mankind with something of Him implanted within them. In some amazing ways, he created Adam and Eve in His image and although flawed by the fall, each of us is also made in His image.

As image bearers, we have the ability to have a relationship with our creator, He gave us moral freedom to choose to follow or not to follow Him, He shared with us His creative spirit and gave us the ability to love both Him and one another, along with an eternal soul. Human life is special and sacred because we are made in His image. In fact, both your best friend and worst enemy have something of God within them, for both are made in His image. Even knowing that the fall would take place and that man would sin and, in doing so, reject Him, He chose to create us in His image.

When we long to be back in the garden where the effects of sin no longer chase us, here is the amazing thing. God wants to bring us back to the garden as well. That is why the incarnation of Christ, the Advent, was planned long before the world came to be. The creator wanted His created to be reconciled to Him, so the creator became like the created in the incarnation to die and rise and pay our penalty and make peace with Him. That is Advent.

The story of Advent is a story of love in the face of rebellion, a divine rescue mission to make a way for us to go back home to Him. This is why Jesus said to His disciples on the eve of His death, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” And then He says, I call you friends. You are His friend if you know Him. If you don’t, He invites you to meet Him. This is why He came.

PRAYER

Father, I thank you that there is a way back to the garden through your divine rescue mission to forgive our sin and make us again part of your family. Give me deeper appreciation this Advent season for the price you paid to right the wrong of sin. In the garden and in me. Amen

Leadership coaching, governance/board training, staff/culture audits, change management, conflict management, establishing clarity, creating healthy cultures, leadership, and organizational consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Creating a Culture of Grace and Eliminating the Scourge of Gossip, Slander, and Judgementalism in your Congregation.

 

The damage that gossip, slander, and judgementalism do to our congregations and those within them (perpetrators and victims) is incalculable. I outline some of these impacts in Gossip and Slander, the Scourage of many Churches. 

What many church leaders do not understand is that they can actually create a culture where these spiritually damaging behaviors are not practiced in their congregations. This is a roadmap for moving toward a healthier church culture.

First, a note about culture. Culture is what you create or allow. In other words, whatever you allow in your congregation will become part of your culture. The alternative is to intentionally create a God-honoring culture and disallow behaviors that are antithetical to God's character, the fruit of the Spirit, and His teaching. 

In many places, the New Testament makes distinctions between behaviors we are to eliminate from our lives and those we are to practice. For instance, in Ephesians 4 and 5, we are told to eliminate falsehood, stealing, unwholesome talk, bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, malice, unforgiveness, sexual immorality, impurity, greed, foolish talk, coarse joking, and other behaviors that emanate from our lower nature. 

Rather than these, we are to put on truthfulness, forgiveness, love, kindness, and compassion, become imitators of God who live in love, wise living, speaking those things that build others up, unity, humility, gentleness, and peace. 

Paul wants us to declare certain behaviors illegal in the church because they don't reflect Christ and to focus on those that do. This is how you create culture. You call people to a higher standard and are clear on those things he wants us to eliminate and those he wants us to practice.

Disciplemaking churches are clear about behaviors that they will not tolerate. They are equally clear on a culture of grace and obedience. This takes ongoing attention, teaching, and explanation. For instance, when it comes to gossip, people need to understand:

• It does not please God
• It is a form of character assassination
• When we have an issue with someone else, we go to them directly and not to others
• Our words can heal, or they can hurt
• We don't do gossip and slander in our congregation
• We do use a Matthew 18 approach when we have differences
• We live in a culture of grace and extend that grace to others
• We allow the Holy Spirit to convict people of their sins (and ours)
• We will talk to those who traffic in gossip and slander within our congregation

The amazing thing is that you can dramatically eliminate divisive gossip and slander if you are intentional, remind people often, and are clear about how we live with one another. What happens is that you create an expectation of Jesus honoring behavior, and the public nature of your "culture creation" makes it difficult for those who traffic in gossip and slander to do so, as it violates everyone's understanding of who we are and how we love one another.

Think of what it would be like if you attended a church where:

• We accept one another and one another's shortcomings as Jesus does ours
• We are as patient with one another as Jesus is with us
• We speak words that build rather than words that tear down
• We love others as Jesus loves us
• We forgive others as Jesus forgives us
• We major on the Fruit of the Spirit rather than the fruit of our lower nature
• We do all that we can to live in peace and unity with one another

Those churches do exist, although not in the number they should. The reason is that we do not create culture but simply allow culture to happen. Don't do that. Remember that culture is what you create or allow, and the Scriptures give us great guidance on what we should not allow and what we should create. 

Gossip and Slander: the Scourge of many Churches

 

Congregations pride themselves in "being like Jesus." Yet, in many congregations, there is a willingness to overlook one of the most divisive and disruptive behaviors of all. It is not heresy. It is gossip and slander.

Gossip and slander are not having a difference of opinion. Everyone is entitled in the church to differences of opinion. Gossip and slander assassinate the character of another individual. You can kill a person physically - something we would never do in the church. But we seem skilled at killing another's character at will and without any consequence. 

Gossip is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as: "casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true."

Slander is defined as "the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation." Or to "make false and damaging statements about (someone)."

The reason that gossip and slander are so often linked together is that when we engage in gossip, especially when we share details that we cannot confirm as being true, we are often engaging in slander as well. Trafficking in second-hand information where we have no redeeming purpose for sharing such information is an anti-value in the church.

Gossip is often the result of an issue with another without the courage to go and have a conversation with that individual. So rather than seeking to resolve our issue with a specific person, we instead talk to others about them. In doing so, we drag innocent bystanders into our issues, and they often take up our cause with no first-hand knowledge of our issues. Now, we have recruited additional character assassinators for our cause. And, we have left the individual who is our target without any means to explain, defend, or bring reconciliation as they are not even part of the process. 

In one church I am familiar with at present, there is a concerted effort by one couple who is at odds with the pastor (and the board) to bring disrepute to the pastor. They have recruited many close friends to their cause, and the charges against the pastor can be traced back to this one couple. In another church, there have been armchair critics for years in the shadows, sowing mistrust and discord against whoever was in leadership at the moment. 

These situations are an internal cancer in any church. The New Testament is explicit that gossip, slander, and anything that does not build up the body is anti-Christ behavior. In addition, Paul warns against those who cause division in the church. Certainly, gossip and slander cause division, mistrust, ill feelings, and deep hurt to those who are the targets. To make matters worse, many who traffic in gossip do so under the guise of "we need to pray for _____ about." In other words, they hide their gossip by declaring their spiritual intent, which is total nonsense and probably not well received by Jesus Himself. 

The church is ill-served by professional Pharisees who love to snipe at others about lifestyle choices, dress, and any number of personal choices. How in the world can we expect new folks to feel comfortable in our midst when the critical Pharisiacle spirits are allowed to run rampant among us. Gossip is one of the most prevalent reasons that people do not feel safe in the local church. This is also why spiritual formation is such a challenge. How can you do true spiritual formation in a culture where gossip and backstabbing are OK?

Culture is what we create or allow. If we allow gossip in our body, we are allowing behavior that the New Testament strongly condemns. The alternative is to create a culture where gossip is not OK and where the expectation is that we deal with differences in a Matthew 18 manner. And that we learn what it means to live in the same grace with one another as Jesus grants to each of us on a daily basis. Think of the difference in our relationships if that were true. 

For some suggestions on how to create a culture of grace and eliminate gossip and slander from your congregation, see Creating a Culture of Grace and Eliminating the Scourge of Gossip, Slander, and Judgementalism in your Congregation. 

It is all about focus

 

Eight signs that your church is on the downward slope of its life cycle

 

Every organization has a life cycle that includes initial growth and accomplishing its original vision. Once that vision is completed, the organization starts to plateau, and unless it can reenvision for the next ministry run, it goes into a long, slow decline. This plateau and decline are often not recognized because, like the frog in the kettle, it can be subtle, and the collective memory of the organization is its former glory days that members mistakenly think still define them. 

There are key signs that a church is on the downward slope of its life cycle. Here are eleven such indicators.

There is no clear definition of who the church is or where it is going. Lack of clarity is a sign that an organization is in significant jeopardy. A church that cannot clarify who it is and where it is going will simply wander without a missional agenda or clear purpose. By clarity, I am not referring to something defined in the bylaws that no one can remember but a compelling mission, clear guiding principles, a defined culture, and an understanding of what we are about every day. If staff cannot clearly articulate this and if the congregation does not understand it, there is not adequate clarity. 

The church lacks internal alignment. This is a natural result of a lack of clarity. Without clarity, different staff and ministries of the church simply do their own thing without any internal cohesion and often at cross purposes with other ministries. This allows individuals and staff to pursue their agenda rather than a common and aligned agenda of the church. Any time a ministry cannot answer the question: "How does this ministry contribute to the mission and goals of the church as a whole," it lacks alignment.

No one asks hard questions, or if they do, they are marginalized. In healthy, vibrant organizations, challenging questions are welcomed because they help the organization stay on its mission. When one can no longer ask those hard questions without being marginalized, it is a sign that the organization is now in a preservation mode rather than a growth mode. 

There is a steady leak of people out the back door. People often leave a church when they sense there is no longer a compelling mission and vision. They usually go quietly, but when people who have previously been engaged leave and it becomes a trend, take notice.

The church guards its money. Healthy churches tend to be generous, while those who have moved from missional to institutional tend to protect their resources, and a scarcity mentality sets in.

Meetings and bureaucracy replace action and outward-focused ministry. In their growth phases, congregations are outward-focused, while in their plateaued or declining phases, they tend to be inward and self-focused. As this happens, congregations make it hard to start new outward-looking ministries. 

The congregation and its leaders are comfortable. Comfort means that change is resisted, the familiar is embraced, innovation is difficult and rare, and the focus becomes far more internal than external. This is an essential indicator because missional churches value ministry results over personal comfort, while the opposite is true when a church has plateaued or is on a downward slope.

There is a collective memory of the congregation's "best days." For people who have been around for a time, there is a memory of the period when the church was at its best and perhaps its most significant. What is interesting is that these same people often believe that this is who they still are. They need to recognize that the times have changed, ministry opportunities have changed, the neighborhood has often changed, and they need to change. In reality, they live in the past rather than the present or the future.

While organizational life cycles are predictable, one does not need to settle for a plateau or a downward slope. To change the game, however, leaders must reenvision the congregation for the next ministry season and live opposite of the eight indicators listed above. Churches that remain vital and healthy:

• Have a clear vision and mission
• Insist on the internal alignment of all ministries around that vision and mission.
• Invite hard questions to challenge the way things are done and help the organization get better.
• Close their back door and find out why people leave
• Are generous with meeting needs outside the church
• Are outward ministry-focused rather than internally focused
• Intentionally live in the uncomfortable ministry zone rather than the comfort zone
• Rather than live in the past, they honor the past but plan for the future

Most of all, the focus is always on the Gospel, a culture of love and grace, and a deep concern for the hurting and those who don't know Jesus.