Sticky Factor

Many church leaders spend a great deal of time and energy in developing programs designed to bring new people into the church. That is a good thing. However, too few think about the structures needed to sustain the growth that comes. If there are not intentional structures the assimilate new people into the life of the church, what one is left with is a big front door and a big back door.

Larry Osborn of North Coast Church in Vista, CA calls this the sticky factor. He is the author of The Sticky Church. Interestingly, North Coast does not put huge attention on the programs to bring people in. They do put much emphasis on the sticky factor, or the structures that will keep people there once they come. As they have been intentional over the years, they have seen the congregation grow to over 7,000 in multiple venues.

A key structure for assimilating new members is a quality, well led, small group that is focused on relationship, prayer, care and learning together. People crave authentic relationships and personal significance. That is provided in the context of small groups that are well designed and well led. The larger the percentage of adults a congregation has in well designed and well led small groups, the higher the sticky factor for those who come. It is one of the key structures that will keep those who come coming back and integrate them into the life of the church.

Programming without the requisite structures to support growth - numerical and spiritual - are a waste of precious time, energy and resources. More important than the programming designed to bring people in is the sticky factor of your church to keep them if they come. The first without the second is not very productive. The second - even without much of the first - is highly productive.

Dealing With Our Shadow Side

All of us have a shadow side. We often don't like to admit it and don't like to think about it but unless we manage our shadow side, it hurts us, those we lead and can even destroy our ministries.

A sign of good Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is understanding our strengths, weaknesses, temptations, places where we are at risk to sin, and the unhealthy parts of our lives that we hide from others. Unless we pay close attention to our areas of weakness and darkness those areas come back to bit us.

Shadow sides are different for different people but here are some examples:

- Deep insecurities that cause us to need constant affirmation and are responsible for defensive attitudes toward those who disagree with us.

- A need to have our way which hurts team

- Areas of hidden sin that we have not adequately dealt with

- Isolation from others where deep friendships are not fostered, leaving us without people who can speak truth into our lives

- Anger that lies close to the surface

- Arrogance that comes from a measure of success

Essentially our shadow side are those parts of us that are not healthy whether spiritually, emotionally or relationally. No one is exempt - it is part of living in a fallen world.

Shadow sides need to be understood and managed if we are going to be healthy individuals and leaders. It starts with asking some hard questions like, "where am I vulnerable to sin" and "what aspects of my responses and inner life do I not like?" It is also helpful to ask those who know us best, our spouse, a close friend and colleague to identify potential areas of dishealth that they see in us. It is also one of the things we should consult God on - asking Him to reveal to us truth about our hearts that we need to know.

The next step is to regularly evaluate those areas we have identified and to develop strategies for ensuring that our shadow side does not hurt us or those around us. That may mean counseling to better understand ourselves. It may mean candid discussion with a close and trusted friend for a deeper level of accountability. It may be as simple as an awareness of our areas of vulnerability so when we come close to those areas we can deal with them.

Someone has said that we need to spend as much time dealing with our shadow side as we do our strength side. I tend to agree with this because left unacknowledged and unchecked it is the shadow side with comes back to hurt us and can deep six our lives, families, and ministries.

Understanding ourselves and dealing with our shadow side requires the time to think deeply and reflect on who we are, how God made us and where we struggle. Scripture is a great mirror for this reflection as we encounter life as God intends it, hearts as He desires them to be, motives (good and bad) and compare our lives to the holy and healthy life we encounter there. That is why the best leaders are deeply reflective leaders. They have taken the time to understand themselves because who we are as leaders spills out in our lives and leadership. Managing the inner life is the key to managing our outer life.

Trends in Missions Today

There are a number of common trends among mission agencies today that are very encouraging in terms of their missional effectiveness.

The introduction of Key Result Areas and Annual Ministry Plans. This is all about a new level of accountability and intentionality in the mission world. Among major agencies it is no longer acceptable to work without a plan and clarity on the results desired. As one of my colleagues observed, the only place to hide today in missions (from intentionality and accountability) is in some of the mom and pop missions. Interestingly, some major agencies have lost significant numbers of people who objected to the introduction of a new level of accountability and intentionality.

A second major trend is that of deploying personnel in teams who work synergistically together. It has been proven over and over that healthy teams are more effective than personnel deployed alone. Teams take into account a variety of gifts, encourage greater creativity and provide a greater level of care for personnel.

The move toward teams and the introduction of KRAs and AMPs has lead to another major development - the elimination of levels of management and supervision that were deemed necessary in the past. Missions are embracing the flat world and the idea of empowering teams on the ground to determine their plans and strategies and are therefore eliminating the management structure that was necessary in the absence of plans and teams. In our own mission, we have only three levels of leadership - the senior team, the international area team and the local team.

These changes have inevitably led to a fourth - the development of a set of metrics by which to measure effectiveness and success. Almost every major mission is grappling with the metrics issue and desiring to ensure that they have a way to measure their effectiveness. In many ways this is driven by donors who want to know that their major investments in missions are paying off. The Mission Exchange just did a major conference on this issue.

All of these changes have come amidst a movement by agencies to deal with unproductive or unhealthy personnel. This is the major issue being faced by new mission leaders today. In the past, many missions have defined their success by how many missionaries they had and paid little attention to the health and effectiveness of those leaders. This has led to many problems because unproductive or unhealthy personnel have a huge impact on those around them. While in the past it was unknown for a mission to let a missionary go, that is not the case today. There is much retooling taking place in missions and the transition of unhealthy personnel out of the organizations.

These trends have forced missions to raise up a generation of better leaders. Intentionality, health, metrics, plans and teams all require leadership and many agencies are scrambling to find those leaders since they did not focus on the leadership issue in the past. In many cases, agencies are looking outside their own mission to leaders from the church and business sector who have a leadership track record.

The new interest in results and healthy personnel has led to the development of greater ongoing learning and skill development. In the past one could have a lifetime of mission service with little ongoing education. Not anymore. The requirements of team, plans, metrics, health and leadership require ongoing skill development. Many agencies actually have a division that focuses on this ongoing learning.

Finally there is a major shift away from missionaries simply doing the hands on work to missionaries as equippers of others in line with Ephesians 4:12. Increasingly there is an emphasis on the development of partnerships with indigenous movements and the equipping of those movements for greatest missional effectiveness. It is a shift from a focus on "my" ministry to a focus on "our" ministry and the developing, empowering and equipping of healthy indigenous leaders.

All of these are encouraging developments toward mission work that can meet the needs of our globalized world where the opportunities and challenges are both significant.

When everyone is in charge, no one is in charge

I recently visited a congregation that has a lot of health in many ways - except in its leadership paradigm. It is a congregation of about 320 with a 50 member general board - although I doubt they ever get that many there. It is a labyrinth of boards and committees.

The pastor and several elders made the comment that no one is really in charge! It is in many ways leaderless apart from the fact that the pastor and elders seek to lead.

Unfortunately there are still tens of thousands of evangelical churches in this country - and elsewhere that operate like General Motors. Committees and boards galore, suffocating any ability of a group of truly qualified leaders to lead.

The result is ministry paralysis that prevents the church from making timely decisions or clarify ministry direction. This congregation has been plateaued at its current size for many years. It is unlikely to break through its barriers without rethinking and redoing its governance structure.

Often leaders don't tackle this issue because of a few loud voices who argue that to move away from a structure of multiple boards and committees is to rob the congregation of its involvement. They are right about one thing - God wants everyone's involvement. But they are wrong on the kind of involvement God wants of everyone. He wants everyone involved in meaningful ministry, not meaningless meetings!

The New Testament has a paradigm for leadership that looks nothing like the paradigm this church has. Actually this church's paradigm is that of the New England town hall, not Biblical leadership.

That is also why so many churches plateau and don't live missionally. Their structures keep them institutional rather than missional. How is your church doing?

Innocent as Doves, Wise as Serpents

I am constantly amazed how naive we choose to be as believers regarding "wolves" in the church who have personal agendas that they hide behind a spiritual facade. This was the case in a call I received recently from a pastor and his board chair. A former leader in the church who has a poor track record of working with others has been quietly working those who will listen in the congregation regarding the senior pastor - subtly undermining him - even though the church board is fully supportive of his ministry.

I asked them if this gentleman's stated "concerns" are his real agenda and they said no. I asked if the board had faced the fact that they had a wolf in their midst that they needed to confront and they said no. I asked if they believed that he had a hidden agenda and they said yes.

Why are we so naive? So unwilling to name agendas for what they are, so unwilling to confront behavior that is blatantly sinful? Think about Jesus when he interacted with people. He saw right through them. He made statements or asked questions that revealed motives and behaviors for what they were.

Jesus told us to be innocent as doves but wise as serpents. Wise people understand, are willing to name and to confront behaviors that hurt the church. They don't allow people to to undermine the church while hiding behind spiritual talk or facades. Like Paul in his letters to Timothy and Titus they see sinful behavior for what it is and are willing to name it and wisely confront it.

I believe we use the excuse of "grace" to not confront wolves in our midst because we fear them and don't want to go head to head with them. In the meantime, the wolves rip through the congregation doing quiet but real and often longtime damage.

Innocent of doves means that we have pure motives. Wise as serpents means that we see issues for what they are and deal with them as leaders. How is your board doing?

Leadership and Relational Enmeshment

A common issue related to poor Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is relational enmeshment. This is when we allow ourselves to become enmeshed in someone else’s issues and take on their issue or their offence. This happens in families all the time where two members of the family will triangulate against a third rather than dealing with issues directly. So Tom who has an issue with Mary will talk to Bill about Mary. Bill take up the offence and there is therefore pressure on Mary by both Bill and Tom to conform. What Tom has done is enmesh Bill in his issue.

This happens in churches and workplaces all the time. It is bluntly a violation of Matthew 18 and the coward’s way out of dealing with conflict. Rather than dealing with the person we have an issue with we bring someone else into the equation and enmesh them in the problem.

Healthy individuals do not allow themselves to be drawn into other people’s issues. They may well seek to help that individual solve the problem in a healthy manner but they do not triangulate, nor do they take on the offenses of others. Often in cases like Tom, Mary and Bill, the two with the issue solve the problem but the one who became enmeshed, Bill, continues to carry it in his heart – unresolved - which is not surprising since it was not his to resolve in the first place.

How do unhealthy leaders triangulate or enmesh others in their issues? Often they do so by playing the victim role. They communicate their hurt to those who they feel are sympathetic and draw those folks into their circle of hurt against those who they feel have hurt them. It is dangerous and hurtful when pastors (or others) do this because those they triangulate with have no way of solving the issue since they are not a part of the dispute. So, even when the pastor resolves his issue, those who he has enmeshed often continue to carry ill will toward the individual that the pastor had an issue with.

I have watched pastors actually divide boards by choosing to triangulate with sympathetic board members against other board members. Long after the issue is resolved the board remains divided.

Very simply, enmeshment or triangulation is unbiblical, unhealthy and the wrong way to resolve issues that we have. For leaders, especially it has consequences that are far reaching.

Secular or Sacred Worship?

My wife recently attended a worship service where the message was shaped around a popular country western song (rather than the text used) and then the secular song was the last set by the worship band. She left deeply disheartened.

The service raised an interesting question. Does the sacred influence the secular or does the secular influence the sacred? Now without a doubt there was some truth in the song. But why use a secular source to try to communicate eternal truth when it is the word of God that is the source of all truth? Maybe to illustrate but not as the source. There are many good illustrative stories from the secular world, but the source of all truth about God is found in His word.

In addition, how can a secular song as a worship set raise our hearts to the throne of God? Again, does the sacred influence the secular or does the secular lead us to the sacred?

What was more interesting was that many loved the song. Actually I like the song. But I question the discernment of those who believe that the secular can lead us to the sacred as an act of worship. In our effort to be relevant we often forget that the Word itself is the source of all relevance and that word, empowered by the Holy Spirit has amazing power to change lives.

Perhaps our drive for relevance is an indication that we don't always think the truth of the Word is enough. Paul did. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: 'The righteous will live by faith' " (Romans 1:16-17).