Emotional Intelligence in Missions

It is my conviction that one of the most neglected areas in the choosing, training and acceptance of missionaries is that of their emotional intelligence (EQ). Many of the problems that mission teams face revolve around individuals who have poor EQ - causing significant health issues for the team.

Think of these traits and their impact on healthy teams:
-Inability to forgive
-Holding onto hurt
-Assuming poor motives of others without trying to clarity with them what their motives actually are
-Consistent cynicism
-A propensity toward negative attitudes
-Difficulty in accepting those whose views differ from theirs
-A need to have their own way
-Difficulty in maintaining positive relationships with others
-Paternalism in dealing with nationals

These are examples of poor emotional, relational or spiritual emotional intelligence (EQ) and any of these traits compromise the health of teams who often need to work together in the pressured environment of cross cultural ministry. If you are a missionary and have ever encountered these issues you know how toxic these attitudes can be and how much emotional energy is expended in dealing with them.

In their drive to increase their mission force, many missions gloss over these issues and accept candidates with poor EQ. The same can be said for many field leaders who are not perceptive in who they recruit or deploy, assuming that the positive will outweigh the negative.

This is a major mistake that many agencies and teams are realizing as they deal with the fallout of unhealthy individuals.

The result is a significant lack of health on many mission teams globally and great pain caused to other team members who are healthy.
EQ is the ability to understand ourselves, know what drives us, accurately see how we are perceived by others, and know how we relate to others. EQ also measures whether we have the relational skill to work synergistically with others while being 'self defining' and allowing others to speak into our lives or work without defensiveness.
Signs of poor EQ include the inability to listen to others, personal defensiveness, unawareness of how we come across to others, lack of sensitivity to the feelings of others, inability to constructively deal with conflict, a need to control others, narcissism, and the need to have our own way.
Good EQ includes openness to the opinions of others, lack of defensiveness, awareness of who we are and how others perceive us, sensitivity to others, the ability to release others rather than control them, allow for constructive and robust dialogue, and the ability to abide by common decisions.
It is my conviction that mission agencies and mission teams are better off with fewer but healthier missionaries than to compromise on issues of emotional, relational or spiritual health. And, there are ways to measure these.
Where health is problematic those issues ought to be addressed before candidates are accepted. Where they exist on the field, the need to be addressed for the health of the individual, the team and the organization.
Not addressing these issues is unfair to the many healthy and productive personnel that you have in your agency. When an organization does not make health of their personnel a priority, it is the healthy personnel who suffer and its toll on teams is huge.
The number of our personnel should not be our measure of organizational success. The health of our personnel should be. And making health a priority in recruitment, care, and intervention when necessary is critical for healthy ministry and its success.

Hearing God's Voice

Something we pay far to little attention to in my view is that of intentionally listening for the voice of God in our lives. My guess is that anyone who has followed Christ for any period of time can think of instances where God clearly spoke to them about a life issue.

God speaks through his word, through circumstances, and through others. But God often speaks to us personally as well - if we will listen, and understand ourselves well enough to know how he usually communicates with us.

When I was in the hospital a year and a half ago, hovering between life and death for long weeks, God clearly told my wife, "It will be close but T.J. will live." That promise was one she clung onto for the 35 days I was in the Intensive Care Unit moving from one crisis to another. This past January when I was in a similar situation in Thailand, God again spoke to her.

For most of us, those kinds of instances are rare. The question is, how does God speak to us and how can we sensitize our lives to his voice?

God normally speaks to me when I am quiet and thinking, or writing. Not with words like he did with Mary Ann but clear impressions or ideas that he drops in my mind. For Mary Ann it is normally when she is quiet with God doing her Scripture study. For a friend of mine who works with AIDS kids and women in Thailand God often speaks to her through the interactions she has with those she cares for.

I have another friend who sees pictures when he prays for people in "prophetic prayer" and God uses those pictures to encourage those he is praying for. For others it is a God given impression or prompting to do something that does not go away.

God speaks to each of us in unique ways just as he created us as unique individuals. The challenge is to recognize how he usually communicates with us and then ensure that we are tuned in to his voice. Since God normally speaks to me in times of thinking and solitude, I know that when I am over busy and tired that I may not hear him. My challenge is to orient my life so that I can hear if he wants to communicate.

I do believe that we underestimate the desire that God has to communicate to us regarding issues in our lives. Because of our busyness and the general media clutter that incessantly assaults our minds it takes intentionality to hear him. I for one want to hear his voice when he chooses to speak.

Understanding Sharia Law

To understand Islam and the threat that Islam poses to the world one must understand Sharia (the body of Islamic law) which deals with every aspect of a Muslim's life: marriage; business; sexuality; politics; how one raises their children; the rights of women; punishment for crimes and multitudes of other issues. Unlike the west, in Islam, there is no distinction between civil law and religious law: there is simply Sharia.

Many do not understand that the goal of Islam is to become the religion of the world and under Islam, there is no freedom of religion. Take Egypt for instance. It is legal and easy to convert from Christianity to Islam but it is illegal to convert from Islam to Christianity and such a move can be punishable by jail or death.

Under Sharia, all non Muslims are second rate citizens. There is one set of rules for Muslims and another set of rules for non-Muslims. Under Sharia, women are denied even the most basic rights. Under Sharia it is forbidden to question any part of the Koran so there is little discussion about controversial issues.

Sharia is extrapolated from the Koran which is exceedingly unfriendly to non-Muslims. Consider these statistics from the book Cruel and Usual Punishment:

"There are 35,213 Qur'an verses, hadiths, Sharia laws, and various Muslim scriptures commanding and encouraging killing, violence, war, annihilation, corporal punishment, hatred, boycott, humiliation and subjugation aimed mainly against non-Muslims. The majority population of non-Muslims in democratic nations must be concerned about such scriptures, and they must be protected from those who will act upon such commandments."

As Muslim populations grow in our own country, it pays to understand the system that comes with it if we are going to minister to and share the freedom of the gospel with them. Unlike other populations who come to our shores, there is little integration into an American way of life or thinking. Islam is insular and seeks to keep its populations insular as well.

For an insightful and disturbing overview of Islam I highly recommend the book Cruel and Usual Punishment by Nonie Darwish who grew up as a Muslim in Egypt and now lives in the United States. The book reveals much that Islam wishes we did not know and it will help you understand the dynamics that Islam brings with it as it seeks to expand across the globe - including our own country.

If you or your church is interested in learning how to reach out to Muslims in your area, check out The Crescent Project which has training and materials that both explain Islam and help believers understand how to share the gospel with Muslims. It's Bridges curriculum is second to none.

Also check out http://www.morethandreams.org/ for stories of what God is doing to reveal himself to Muslims across the world.

I am Troubled

I am troubled by the number of pastors today who are not preaching the Word but instead using outlines from books on various subjects, whether the family or psychology or other felt need publications. I am also troubled by those who don't do their own work with the text but simply use the messages they find on the web.

As an author it would be gratifying for someone to take my material and preach it - certainly it would stroke my ego. But, my material is not scripture. It is not God breathed. And neither is that of other authors. The authors that can claim that are those who wrote the sixty six books of the Bible.

I have to conclude that there are many pastors today who don't believe that actually preaching a text, or through a book of scripture believe that the scriptures won't do the job. It is not relevant enough. It will not draw the crowds. It cannot speak to real needs of real people. Why else would so many pastors abandon the text for other texts?

I conclude that they do not really believe the words of the apostle Paul who wrote, "All Scripture is God-breathed, and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Or the numerous times Paul told Timothy to "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction" (2 Timothy 4:2).

Is it any wonder that so few believers today understand what it means to follow Christ? Or the basic doctrines of Scripture? Is it any wonder that there is little to no spiritual transformation among those who claim to be Christ followers? If you wonder about that check out the Reveal study!

It is the Word that contains the words of God. It is the Word that exposes God's truth and speaks to our spirits. It is the Word that helps us understand what God desires for our lives.

Why have we abandoned the Word in so many cases and substituted cheap second rate sources for the Truth. God's Word is relevant and it can and will change lives. In fact, it is THE source of life change as the Holy Spirit speaks to our spirits.

But we have to believe that it actually has that power. Perhaps we have concluded that the Word is no longer relevant and it needs our help to make it so. Perhaps we are embarrassed by what it says. Perhaps we think it will not be a popular message.

The balance of Scripture is the balance of Christ. Grace and truth. We need grace desperately and we need truth equally desperately. The perfect balance is found in the very words of God.

It is the source of life. Let's preach it once again!

Hearth and Home

Years ago my son Jon hosted a "theological discussion" in our home during his high school years with a number of his friends. Today, they have all graduated from college and are on with their lives but they stay connected to us. Jon recently said, "You don't know how much you guys mean to them."

The comment was a surprise because all we had done was open our home. But what we missed was the fact that our home was a haven, a place of peace, fun, grace, acceptance and a sanctuary for some whose own homes were not.

Ironically, our home was smaller than their homes, had the oldest television, and the fewest toys. None of that mattered. It was a place of peace and refuge.

I was reminded of how important it is to ensure that in the chaos of our lives and world that our homes are places of peace, refuge, relationship and grace.

I love the world "hearth." It was the place around the fire where families would traditionally gather. They would enjoy the warmth, the fellowship and good food. Much of life revolved around the hearth.

With the insane schedules in today's world along with the distractions of Internet and television it is even more important to cultivate the warmth of the hearth whether we are empty nester's or a larger family. Like the warm glow from the window of the cottage above, the hearth is a place of safety, security and peace - if we will cultivate it.

It is not by mistake that hospitality is referenced so often in the New Testament. Inviting others into our homes is to invite them to our hearth, to the warmth of our hearts and the peace of our home. For some, like the students who came to our home in their high school years, it is a special place of refuge. For all it should be a place of fellowship and grace.

Recently we had a dinner with Jon and his friend Chris as Jon was leaving the Twin Cities for Knoxville and his life after college. His friend, Chris, hugged us and said, "let's not be strangers just because Jon is leaving." He still wants to join us at our hearth! It was a good reminder.

Incarnational Ministry - Going Viral

All of us who are involved in ministry - the local church - missions - or parachurch - want to make the largest difference we can for the cause of Christ and see the largest number of people changed by the gospel message.

That passion leads us to develop programs, ministries and events that will reach and impact the lives of those who participate. All good.

But, we often miss the most powerful, organic, and viral ministry strategy designed and modeled by the God of the universe - incarnational ministry.

Incarnational ministry is a lifestyle where we intentionally identify with those around us (our neighborhoods, workplaces, friends and circles of influence) in authentic relationship - sharing our lives, love, faith, time and resources just as God chose to identify with us in his incarnation.

It is not a program, it is a lifestyle. And it is viral. It requires no budget, no staff, no facilities - just the willingness of God's people to be His people to those around them. As God's love rubs off on others, it spreads to corners of our community that our churches would never touch through programs or events.

Jesus did not come with a program, he came with a life that he wanted to share with others. His challenge to his disciples was to become "fishers of men" like him. His method was to meet people where they were in relationship, love, grace, acceptance, truth, and practical help. It was life on life impact - the essence of incarnational ministry.

Helping incarnational ministry become the DNA of those in our congregations is far more powerful than all the programs we can develop - good as those are. And through incarnational ministry, a church of any size, fifty or five thousand can have an influence far beyond its size. It is powerful, organic, and viral.

And it is all too seldom an emphasis in congregations today. The Reveal study done by WillowCreek Church is a wake up call that our programmatic emphasis in the church today is not working. It is not producing disciples. It is not developing incarnational lifestyles. For all of our buildings, budgets, staffing and programming we are producing few fully devoted followers.

I believe we need to re-focus from the programmatic to the incarnational model.

What would happen this week if everyone in our congregations did one or more of the following things?

Encourage somone who needed encouragement

Prayed specifically for someone in need

Found quality time to spend with a friend, neighbor or co-worker

Shared something of their life story with authenticity

Helped fill a need in a tangible way

Life on life - viral and organic. Programs and events are great, incarnational ministry is essential and viral and powerful. Which are you putting the greatest emphasis on in your church? In your life?

Choosing and preparing new board members

One of the great challenges for healthy boards is the rotation of board members that is required in many churches. Every time a new board member is introduced to the board, the culture of the board changes. Boards are are intentional in moving in a certain direction may also find that the new member is not in sync and causes frustration for those who were already on the board.

I have suggested that the New Testament lays out a clear job description for board members as well as specific characteristics for the board members themselves. I also believe that boards should operate with a board covenant that spells out how they relate to one another, how they make decisions and the "game rules" for how the board operates.

Who you choose to serve on your board will have a direct impact on the missional effectiveness of your congregation. Yet congregations continue to pay far too little attention to the selection process, effectively sabotaging their future ministry when the wrong people are placed in leadership roles.

What should a selection committee look at when selecting potential board members? First they need to ask whether the individual meets the criteria laid out in the New Testament for church leadership. This includes asking the question as to whether they are really leaders. Non leaders do not belong in a leadership role. Non leaders on boards simply impede the work that a leadership board is meant to have.

Second, does the potential board member understand the ministry philosophy and direction of the church and can they support it? To put someone in leadership who is out of sync with the rest of the board or the staff is literally to throw a wrench in the gears. It is foolish. This means of course that the board actually has a philosophy and direction - essential elements to a healthy board.

Third, can the individual live by the board covenant and are they willing to sign the covenant? If not, they should not be placed on the board.

Fourth, do they understand the biblical role of the senior leadership board of the church - to keep the spiritual temperature high, ensure that people are cared for, release people into ministry, provide directional leadership, ensure biblical teaching and protect the flock?

Church leadership boards often have only the foggiest idea as to what they are actually responsible for and muddle around in minutia when what is needed is attention to the most critical spiritual and directional issues of the congregation.

All of this assumes that those who run the selection process understand these four issues as well. If they do not they will not be able to vet well or communicate up front what is expected. It is often said that the most powerful group in the church is actually the nominating committee since they "guard the gate" or in most cases don't.

If your board needs clarity on any of the issues above, "High Impact Church Boards" is a great place to start. Don't fly blind when choosing and preparing new board members.

Unspoken Board Discussions

Church boards are notorious for their unspoken discussions! Those are the issues that are present, that people know are present, but that either individual board members or the board itself does not have the courage to discuss as a board. The elephant in the room - often key issues for the church that require being named and dealt with but the culture of the board mitigates against it.

Many individuals do not like conflict and their definition of conflict is anything that might cause individual or group discomfort. So there is subtle pressure put on board members to be nice and not rock the boat by naming issues that are out there and need discussion. (The same dynamics can be had on almost any team.)

I recently read an article about Patrick Lencioni suggesting that one of the reasons that major financial institutions have found themselves in so much trouble recently is the prevailing culture on company governance boards to not deal with issues that would make others uncomfortable. So the culture of nice sabotages a culture of truth and effectiveness.

Pastors, leaders, board members or team members who choose not to speak in the face of real unspoken issues do a disservice to the organization they serve. The irony is that everyone generally knows that there are unspoken issues - they just don't want the discomfort of naming them.

Now how we speak to the issues is important. If I approach an unspoken issue and put it on the table it will be best received if: There is not a personal vendetta; my words are not meant to hurt; I don't have a hidden personal agenda; I want the best for the organization; I communicate in a way that invites rather than dis invites dialogue; I say it in love; and I acknowledge that the issue may make others uncomfortable.

The funny thing about "elephants" is that once they are named they are no longer elephants. I once worked with a group around a whiteboard and asked them to name every elephant they felt existed in their organization. We willed the white board (a bad thing) but once up there we could talk about all of them (a good thing). Once named an elephant is simply another issue that we are allowed to talk about. Unnamed it is one of the unspoken discussions that we know we need to have but don't have the courage to discuss.

Every board, team and organization is better off with a high level of candor coupled with a high level of trust which mitigates against the candor turning into anger or cynicism.

If you are brave, I would suggest that you ask your team or your board in a relaxed atmosphere to brainstorm on any unspoken board discussions you need to have, on any elephants that need to be named, white board them and then develop a plan to talk through them one by one.

Unspoken discussions are not discussions, just frustrations and they often hide real issues that unresolved will hurt the organization.

Lessons learned from ministry burn-out

Recently I addressed the issue of ministry burnout which is not uncommon among successful pastors or missionaries in their fifties. One of my cohorts who has experienced this is a founding pastor of a church that now runs around 2,000 people per Sunday.

As he has tried to make sense out of the growing lack of satisfaction in his role as senior leader and has thought through his sweet spot – the things he is good at and those things he is not good at, he offered the following seven observations that are worth considering.

1. We are an amalgamation of body, emotion, and spirit. These parts borrow from one another like good neighbors. But when all are depleted, bankruptcy follows. I kept borrowing and nearly lost the farm. Weariness is God's wake-up call that I am in debt in my life and need to pay down that debt before investing again.

2. I have learned that a good leader first cares for his own life. Sounds selfish, but it isn't if it is motivated properly from a devotion to stewarding God's resource, and a determination to lead long-term. I am advance blocking unstructured hours into my week to assure that I will retain time to do what I determine is most important. My schedule used to determine what was most important.

3. I have been learning what energizes and sustains me and what exhausts and drains me. I need to delegate the exhausting long-term job-related aspects of my life. I used to feel that was what I was paid for. Now I am pushing more down to others without losing sleep.

4. Growth brings good things, but also grief. There is a lot of loss that travels with growth: Loss of connection, Loss of control, Loss of old roles... and the list goes on.

5. Founders have full underwear drawers. We keep ill-fitting stretched out stuff that needs to gets tossed as our 'body' changes. Finding the courage to throw away old expectations and roles that don't any longer fit is essential of life is going to be good.

6. You will disappoint people no matter what. Choose the right people. Your own sense of calling, God and your family, and your closest colleagues are not the right people. I am being very intentional in choosing my priorities wisely, building structures and accountability to avoid disappointing the right people, but I am steeling myself to endure the judgment of those I do disappoint. I have learned that I am not good at 'no', so I am creating structures that can say 'no' for me... and an assistant who understands my priorities and steers appointments to others as needed.

7. Fun is holy. Without it planned into my life, I lose the ability to be renewed and carry joy and hope to others.

My friend also listed symptoms to pay attention to that may well be indications that not all is well and that a rethinking of roles, responsibilities and priorities is needed: I am sure many of us could add to this list.

Symptoms to pay attention to:

1. When you are so immersed in your job that you don’t plan anything fun anymore.
2. When a day off is a zombie-like shuffle through sadness that seems to have no clear source, not a day embraced with enthusiasm.
3. When work seems like it is all that is happening in your life.
4. When resentment over-takes satisfaction.
5. When a day off does not refresh you, and you resent having to go back to work.
6. When you are preaching about contentment, but you are discontented with your sermon. (Not proud of that one.)
7. When you resent people calling you or wanting to meet with you and you wish everyone would just leave you alone.
8. When people talk about the future and you feel numb.
9. When you have stopped laughing, and emotions seem to be just under the surface.
10. When you feel alone even though you are surrounded with people.
11. When you feel used and taken for granted.
12. When you have trouble sleeping at night, and trouble getting up in the morning.
13. When you are mostly irritable instead of mostly affable.
14. When you feel like everyone wants something from you, and you cannot possible meet all of their expectations… but you try anyway.
15. When people tell you. ‘You don’t look so good, you look tired, get some rest’ and you are stunned that they have no idea how tired and worn out you really are… and you wish you knew how to stop your schedule and just figure out your life.

Things that intrigue me

Doors: what is behind them?

Winding roads: where do they lead?

Lighted windows at night: who is home and what are they doing?

Planes taking off: where are they going?

People: what are they thinking?

Good spy stories: how will it end?

The new year: what will it bring?

I love the start of a new year. It is an adventure all over again, for me now 52 times. There is no way to know what will happen, what I will learn, what paths I will walk, what opportunities I will have, what challenges I will face. It is like opening a present little by little over the next twelve months, one piece at a time for 365 days!

Last year most of what I had planned was diverted by God with a long hospital stay. Where was the gift? In seeing God intervene, in being the object of his mercy, in being able to publish a book and finish another one, in more time with my wife than I have had in 20 years. What gifts did you unwrap last year?

One of my greatest gifts was watching it snow and enjoying Christmas with my family - celebrating the gift of life. It is funny how we lose sight of what is really important. God saved my life. That is important. I didn't need any other gifts this Christmas.

In a few days the gift of 2008 is history with all of its ups and downs. And the unfolding of 2009 starts. I see it as an adventure. Life may be good, or hard, certainly unpredictable, but as a Christ follower, just following Him wherever life leads is adventure enough. Every day a new door opens, or we see through a different window or turn another bend in the road. I relish the ride!

Time Out

For many of us, the days at the end of the year provide an opportunity to reflect on the past year and plan for the coming year. It is a great time to take a "time out" and think about what we may want to do differently in the coming year to keep our hearts fresh, our lives focused and our influence growing.

The most important question we can ask is "How is my heart?" Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." There is no higher priority than ensuring that our hearts are in a good place with God.

A few years ago, I opened the New York Times to see an article about an acquaintance of mine who had been involved in an affair with his supervisor in a major US corporation. The affair spilled over into corporate politics and his life was not only a mess but a public mess.

Many people talked to him in the aftermath, asked him a lot of questions and gave him a piece of their minds. He said that they most helpful question came from a friend who did not condemn or take him to the cleaners but instead asked one gentle question: "How is your heart toward God?" He said that one question, placed the issue into perspective. The issue came down to his heart. He got his heart right and he has his life and marriage back.

For many of us who run too fast, it is the heart question that gets short thrift. As you look back on your year and look forward to a new year, are there ways that you need to refresh, nourish and guard your heart toward God?

How are you doing with your life focus? All of us are called to a specific work and ministry that aligns with our gifting and calling. Over time, however, we accumulate the clutter of obligations, opportunities, or activities that divert or diffuse our focus and therefore diffuse our effectiveness.

This is a great time to evaluate where our focus has been diverted, what activities we should jettison and where we need to refocus our attention for the greatest personal effectiveness. What are the most important things that you need to do in your work and ministry and do you need to refocus in order to do those things well? It is up to us to clear the clutter of life - no one else will do it for us.

Finally, how can you increase your spiritual influence because in the end that is what ought to drive us? Spiritual influence is different than vocational success. Many of us are driven to succeed which is a great thing. But, the eternal impact of our lives, our real legacy comes from spiritual influence with those in our corner of the world.

God has given each of us a circle of influence whether inside or outside of the church. Are we using that opportunity to influence those around us to draw closer to Christ? What can we do this year to increase our spiritual influence?

Reflection is one of the most important things we can do if we desire to live intentionally. Use these days between Christmas and New Years to prayerfully reflect and prayerfully plan. Looking back gives us perspective. Looking forward gives us focus.

Incarnation

There is no more beautiful story than that of the incarnation. We have trivialized the incarnation into a nice holiday season with presents and fancy trees when the reality was stark and harsh.

The Son of God, the one who was present at the creation of the world, the one who mankind rejected to go their own way, the king of the universe, was willingly sent by the Father to become a baby in a squalid town, Bethlehem, to grow up in a working class home making furniture. Think of that, the one who had made the world, the mountains, the seas, the animals and the sky, who put the galaxies in their place is now sawing tables and chairs.

In becoming a man, in taking on our humanity, everything changed in how we could relate to God for in becoming like us and living with us for a season we could touch, hear, learn from and relate to the unapproachable God. The Apostle John put it this way, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Never again could men and women say, “I cannot understand God” for now they had met and can continue to meet the Lord of the universe through the person of Jesus Christ.

When at thirty years old, Jesus started his ministry he was clear about one thing. The only way to the father, the only way to salvation, the only way to know God was through him. He declared, “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the father except through me” (John 14:6). There are no alternate routes, there are no other spiritual guides, he and he alone is the route to the Father!

This is not politically correct and never has been. If you read the gospels and the life of Paul you discover it was not well accepted in that day either. For the religious officials in Judea, Jesus could not be the awaited Messiah because he came in poverty and died on a cross in shame. For the Greeks and Romans with all their various “new age” type religions including statues to “unknown God’s” (just to stay on the safe side), a savior who died and rose again was nothing less than foolishness on a grand scale.

In our day, Christianity is vilified and marginalized and alternate spiritual routes are explored and embraced no matter that they contradict one another and have no basis for truth. I am intrigued by how quickly people grab on to numerous alternate spiritual routes that have no validation in history and no internal consistency, but only vague and foggy spiritual language but it is believed as truth while Christianity with its historical grounding, Scriptures and internal consistency is rejected as foolishness.

One of the lies of the evil one is that life is about us. There is another lie: that we can choose our path to God – which is a grand lie indeed since it elevates our wisdom above God’s and allows us to create our own God, our own path and our own spirituality. That is a greater lie than the first one because now life is not only about us but we have the ability to determine its destiny.

If Jesus was trying to create a popular religion he failed miserably. God does not appear as a baby, make furniture, live itinerantly without a home, befriend prostitutes and the sick and the poor and sinners. He does not allow himself to be nailed to a cross so that he can bear our sin on his own body, naked, bleeding, diminished and alone. He would not choose twelve followers who would not qualify for anything other than blue collar work and tell them to change the world (which they did). He would not choose ordinary people like us down through the centuries to keep on changing the world – which he does.

Jesus did not come as a religious guru, or to found a popular religion. He came as the Lord of the Universe, took on our bones and flesh and with truth and grace pointed us to himself as the one who could save us from our sin, give hope to the hopeless, heal the sick and lead us into a relationship with the father – through him. And Jesus and the message of the gospel have been transforming individual lives, one at a time ever since. Not in religion but in relationship.

Anyone who is serious about a relationship with Jesus Christ must confront the claim he made that he is the only way to the father. There are no alternate routes. If he is wrong on that he was not God. If he is right on that he is the only God.

Missions Nice and Missions Strategic

A major and necessary shift is taking place today in the world of missions. It is being driven by the high cost of having missionaries deployed globally and by a realization that nice cannot substitute for strategic. I remember talking to a staff member some years ago whose ministry had limited effectiveness. When I talked about the need to be results oriented in our mission activity he said, "what matters is faithfulness!" Now faithful ministry is important but so is strategic ministry.

Consider three issues. First, it takes about $100,000 to keep a mission family on the field on average. One can only justify that cost if there is a well thought out plan for how they do ministry.

Second, the world is growing at a rate of 78,000,000 people per year. At a world population of 6.5 billion people, the most people who have ever lived in human history it requires us to think strategically if we are going to make even a small dent for the gospel.

Third, we never hire people in our churches in the United States to do "nice." Our resources are limited too. We hire staff who can do strategic and results oriented ministry. It baffles me that we have such different standards for international mission work where the requirements to do well are often higher than they are in the United States.

In ReachGlobal we have taken a number of steps to move us toward greater ministry productivity. First we have moved all of our personnel into teams so that there is synergy, greater creativity, greater care between members and the strength of various gifting rather than missionaries out on their own.

Second, we have place a much higher emphasis on good leaders leading at each level of the mission - something downplayed in many mission organizations where historically decisions - large or mundane were made by a committee of the whole group. Thus we have moved from cumbersome to efficient.

Third, each of our staff has a set of Key Result Areas for the Year along with an annual ministry plan. Before the year begins they know exactly what their plan is and then they can focus their efforts on the plan. In addition, there is a monthly coaching/mentoring with their supervisor to ensure that they are on target and to remove barriers they are facing.

Fourth, through the concept of the Sandbox we have moved decision making down to the leaders and teams that are best designed to make decisions in their context. We still have huge alignment because our alignment is around the mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and culture of health as defined by the sandbox that everyone is required to play in.

Finally we are committed to multiplication through the developing, empowering and releasing of healthy national leaders for the planting of indigenous, interdependent, self supporting, healthy and reproducing churches. This breakthrough in our thinking means that we no long plant and pastor churches ourselves but raise up indigenous leaders from the very beginning, becoming developers, coaches and mentors. We call this moving from multiplication to addition.

In all of this we have been intentionally moving from a culture of nice to a culture of strategic international missions. We are also seeing significant ministry results from our shift. This also has implications for the missionaries your church supports: are they doing nice things or are they engaged in strategic ministry?

Staffing differently

I read an interesting email today from a church that recently replaced a full time outreach pastor with a volunteer team of four retired individuals who together have brought more creativity, motivation, teamwork and results to outreach than the church has ever had. And their new staff cost nothing!


I found the email fascinating because I have long thought that we have professionalized ministry, hiring professionals to do what in many cases God's people could be doing and at a high cost to the ministry. The cost of staff and benefits continues to rise, leaving us with few resources for ministry initiatives in our community or world.


For all of us who wish we had more resources. For all of us who wish more of our competent congregants were in the game. For all of us who want to release God's people in meaningful ministry, this is an idea to be considered.
It almost sounds like how God designed the church to operate!

God still Heals

One year ago I spent 32 days in the Intensive Care Unit and 42 days in the hospital, 18 days of which were in an induced coma on a ventilator. I came into the hospital with MRSA pneumonia which led to many complications: acute respritory distress syndrome, congestive heart failure, a torn mitral valve in the heart, fevers of 103.8, a heart rate of 240 and septic shock. By all human reasoning I should not have survived.

But: God raised up an army of people praying from around the world and God did the impossible, even healing the failed mitral valve after a day of intense prayer and fasting. To this day my doctors cannot get their hands around my healing. They know there was outside intervention.

I have learned many lessons from my hospital stay. I have learned to pray boldly knowing that God can do the impossible. I have learned that every day is an undeserved gift of grace to be used for his purposes. I have learned that life can change almost instantly so I don't want to squander the time God has given. I have learned of God's great goodness, mercy and love.

Shortly after leaving the hospital I wrote these words in my journal. More than ever I am aware that every day is an undeserved gift from God. That I owe him my life and that He has graciously granted me additional life to server Him. I don't deserve it but that is the nature of grace.

I am reminded of that grace every single morning. And I thank Him for it. God is good - all the time.

Intentional Living

If you are like me you have little time for New Year's resolutions which express our wishful thinking but seem to fade by the time the Christmas tree is taken down. Year end is, however a great time to think about what we want to actually accomplish in the coming year and then design a plan for how we will get there.

This is not about making a list of activities - all of us have plenty of those. Rather it is about understanding our key priorities and the outcomes we want for those priorities along with a simple plan for each of them that explains how we will accomplish the outcomes.

I follow three very simple steps which have helped me stay intentional for many years:

1. Determining my main Big Rocks of life or my priorities.

2. Determining the outcomes I want for my Big Rocks.

3. Developing a simple plan that I will follow for the year.

The only thing left is to work the plan with a monthly "time out" to review my progress and determine whether I am on target, need to realign or adjust.

There is nothing complicated about this. But it is deeply intentional since I know that the one thing I cannot get back is my time. How I invest my time matters since I have it in decreasing quantity each day.

Here is my plan for 2009 following the three steps above. If you desire more information on how you and your staff can live intentionally the book Leading from the Sandbox, lays it out. Even the most simple plan can help us move from activity to results with increasing effectiveness.

T.J.’s Plan for the coming year

Personal Development: Ensuring that I stay healthy in my spiritual, emotional, professional and physical life.

-Daily unhurried time with Christ, read through Scripture, practice a monthly retread day, keep a journal and communicate with prayer teams monthly.

-Monthly Retreat time, annual retreat, prioritize schedule according to Big Rocks and delegation of issues that can be delegate.

-Read and think regularly on leadership and missions, develop relationships with other mission leaders and continue to write for the church, leaders and staff

-Invite accountability and input from a key group of friends, from my board and be transparent with staff on schedules and priorities. Keep my prayer team aware of needs and schedule.

-Spend quality time with my “friends for life” on a regular basis.

-Monitor the amount of refreshment that I enjoy so that I don’t run out of margin

-Join Weight Watchers and walk at least one mile per day

My Marriage: Keep my marriage vital and growing

-Weekly date with Mary Ann when home, pray regularly together, keep her current with my work and travel together when possible.

-Encourage Mary Ann in her ministries and affirm her kingdom assignment

-Find ways to lighten her load and ensure that she gets the refreshment she needs

My Family: Stay engaged with Jon and Chip as Jon launches out into the workplace and Steven continues his college education

-One or two international trips with Steven (he is still in college)

-Be intentional about connecting with the boys in person when in town and on the phone when I am on the road.

Pray for them regularly and be available to them whenever they need me.

Try to find at least one extra fun thing that we can do together as a family this year (the kids do not live at home).

My Work: Provide the highest possible level of leadership and direction to my staff (for sake of brevity here I will share the broad plan that has more detail behind it)

-Provide strategic leadership to ReachGlobal’s values, mission, and vision for the future, and through annual strategic initiatives.

-Build a strong, unified, aligned, strategic, and results-oriented team to lead ReachGlobal

-Develop current and future leaders of ReachGlobal and influence national partners

-Mobilize Resources: Summary: Mobilize key resources necessary for ReachGlobal to flourish and build for the future

My Ministry: Stay engaged in using my strengths for the building of God’s Kingdom in the most strategic ways possible

-Use my gifts to help my local church be as strategic as possible in ministry

-Help other ministries grow in their governance, leadership and effectiveness. Blog regularly for ministry leaders

-Teach leadership skills internationally

-Engage in helping the poor and marginalized in my work globally

-Encourage pastors who work in really difficult circumstances internationally

My Writing: Complete a new manuscript

-Set aside time in the summer for concentrated writing and use travel time for research and writing.

Simple but intentional. That is all it takes!

Toxic team and board members

Both ministry teams and church boards need to guard against a common enemy - toxic members of the team. While toxicity comes in many forms it shares one common trait: toxic members make an otherwise healthy team or board dysfunctional and unhealthy. And it only takes one individual but the toxin is deadly.

Some of the common toxins that hurt teams and boards are:

Cannot work in a team
These are individuals who need to have their own way even if the board or team has decided differently. Because they do not have a commitment to abide by decisions of the rest of the group, they will either ignore the group and do their own thing or undermine the decision outside the team or board meeting. Non team members do not belong on a team or a board because they will not honor either of them.

Causes relational chaos
Have you ever met someone who seems to cause chaos in relationships on a regular basis. Well, it is usually an emotional intelligence problem and it kills team or board effectiveness. They always have a reason and it is usually someone else's fault when it happens but where there is a pattern pay attention.

Cannot make decisions
People who cannot make decisions often love the process, conversation and endless discussions but when it comes to saying, "this is what we will do," they cannot pull the trigger. This inability pulls the team or board down to a lower level than it would otherwise operate at, dis empowers other members and causes a great deal of frustration.

Cannot execute
People who cannot get things done do not belong on either a team or a board. The bottom line of both are results on their mission (Return on Mission). Non producers are directly violating the purpose of the group, pull the group's level down and frustrates other good members.

Will not forgive
Scripture tells us to keep short accounts. Those who will not forgive and hold grudges for real or perceived grievances are a cancer that affects the others. Unresolved relationships destroy team or board trust and trust is the foundation of any group work. The result of unforgiveness is mistrust, bitterness, and an unwillingness to work with those who they will not forgive. Often, these individuals have taken on the offence of others with the same impact.

Narcissistic People
These are people who think that life is about them: their way, their ideas, their wisdom and their decisions. These are truly toxic individuals because they are not even able to understand their toxicity, narcissistic people don't understand they are narcissistic.

People who mistrust those in authority
There is a built in mistrust of authority in many people which makes it very difficult for them to serve in a healthy manner on teams or boards. Their mistrust shows itself in an attitude to cynicism on the one hand and superiority on the other. Those who mistrust generally gravitate toward others who mistrust, take up their mistrust and telegraph that mistrust to others, undermining leaders in the organization.

Can people grow? Yes. Should we expect them to grow on our team or our board? Probably not. As long as an individual is causing significant problems to a team or board they should be removed or step off, given the help they need and if there is progress given another chance. We need to be graceful but not stupid or willing to compromise our mission.

Reintroducing (or introducing) people to the word

It would be interesting to know how many of those in our congregations have ever read through the entire Scriptures. In my experience the percentage is not high. We read many books about the Christian life but many of our people have not read the book of life themselves.

A best practice I have observed is that of congregations reading through scripture over the course of a year together. If this is encouraged from the front, through the ministries of the church and with regular encouragement it is possible to see a high percentage of folks participate.

All of us deeply desire life change for our people. We also know that spiritual transformation is not what it ought to be in our ministries. Could it be that part of the reason is that our people are not living in the word themselves and therefore not experiencing the Truth first hand?

I often wonder what the simple practice of regularly reading God's word would do for God's people in our day. If what Psalm 119 says about the word is true, they are missing out on a lot by not soaking themselves in His truth.

It is simple but profound. Think about it.

Self-understanding and dealing with personal weaknesses

The senior leaders of our organization recently went through a very helpful exercise designed to help each of us think honestly and accurately about our strengths and our areas of weakness.

Specifically we asked each leader to give a synopsis of their strengths (we do a lot of testing to help individuals understand their strengths). We then asked them to identify areas of weakness and how those weaknesses impacted their ability to lead well. Finally we asked them to share how they compensate for those weaknesses because weaknesses have an impact on ourselves and on those we lead.

After each one shared we invited colleagues to ask questions and make observations from their perspective.

An exercise like this requires a great deal of trust because it only works with a high level of self-disclosure about those areas we struggle with - areas we often try to hide from others in our desire to look strong.

I will not share the analysis of others but will share my own for purposes of illustrating how this kind of exercise can help us grow as leaders, in self-knowledge, in honest disclosure and in having a plan to compensate for known weaknesses.

We know, by the way, that weaknesses will never be a strength so trying to make our weakness strengths is a non-starter. God blessed each of us with areas of strength and it is up to us to figure out how to compensate for weaknesses so that our leadership is not compromised by it.

My strengths revolve around communication, strategy and vision, building teams and releasing other good leaders and envisioning the future. In many ways, my greatest value to an organization is helping determine the needed architecture, spiritual, organizational and strategy wise in order to meet our desired objectives. I am then the chief evangelist or communicator of that direction.

Not that is all well and good, but almost everything else are weaknesses that need to be "managed" so that they do not hurt the very organization I lead.

For instance, since it is easy for me to envision the future, it would also be easy for me to push the organization into that future at a pace that is not sustainable or healthy and which would create a backlash to what otherwise is a good direction. So it becomes important for me to have beside me an expert in process and I have that in my co-leader of the mission. If I am the architect, he is the wise contractor determining the pieces, the timing and the key subcontractors, (other leaders) that we need.

In my personal desire to get things done for maximum ministry impact I face two real challenges: the temptation to say "yes" to too many obligations which dissipate the power of my strengths and to not be as discriminating as I should be as to what I agree to take on. Now the strength of maximizing ministry is great but the shadow side described along with it is not.

Thus I almost always run significant opportunities past my wife, who is impacted by my schedule, and two colleagues who work closely with me and know me well, Lindsay and Gary. And they tell me what they think, sometimes without my even asking. And it is a blessing because it helps keep me in the most productive place possible rather than getting into good things at the expense of the most critical things.

As a matter of practice, I never make key decisions by myself without talking them through with key advisers and the senior team of the organization I lead. I am thoroughly convinced that the collective wisdom of a group of wise leaders is far better than the solitary wisdom of any one leaders.

I could list many other weaknesses and my strategy for dealing with them but I think you get the picture. Understanding both the up side and down side of our wiring and abilities is critical to the self-knowledge necessary to lead and the ability to find ways to compensate for weakness which have the potential to hurt our leadership.

It is an exercise you might think about trying with your team.

The Activity Trap

One of the most strategic things each of us can do - and insist from our staff is that we not fall into the activity trap. Simply put, the activity trap is the mistake of believing that activity is synonomous with results. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Think for a moment about people you know. Some of them seem to be always busy but the results from their work are, well, meager. Others, may or may not seem busy but the results of their work are significant.

I have watched senior leaders and even CEO's fall into the activity trap, endlessly busy with "important things" but truly meager in terms of the results of their work. Often if it were not for some good folks around them they would be seen as the "emperor without clothes." Sometimes they can fool outsiders who see the activity but insiders have a hard time figuring out what they really produce.

What makes the difference between those who see meager results and those who see significant results?

The difference is that those who see the best results understand that activity does not equal results. Activity is simply being busy. But if that activity is not carefully focused on specific outcomes one is simply left with activity.

General or unfocused activity yields general and unfocused results. Specific and focused activity will yield specific pre-determined outcomes that help the organization realize its objectives. In the first case the activity is focused on activity while in the second, the activity is focused on outcomes. It is a critical difference.

I am not indicating that those who live with unfocused activity are not doing good things. The question is whether the activity is focused on the good things that will yield the results they are after.

A problem with typical job descriptions is that they actually are a list of activities rather than a description of necessary results. That is why I believe it is far better to have job descriptions with Key Result Areas which are the outcomes wanted for the position than to have a list of activity. With Key Result Areas any activity included in the job is actually focused toward a few definable results that spell success for the job.

One of the ironies is that those who choose to do less often actually accomplish more because they are more focused than those running at a heavy pace.

To avoid the activity trap we should be able to answer these questions:

Do I know what specific results I want from my work? For instance I have five Key Result Areas that spell success for my work. Can you define what spells success for you?

Is my daily, weekly and monthly activity focused on achieving the specific results I have identified?

Do I have a strategy for making sure I stay focused? After all it is very easy to drift and a strategy for staying focused is important.

If you are a supervisor, can your reports answer these questions?
For further exploration, take a look at these blogs:
Connecting the Compass with the Clock
Your Annual Roadmap
What Spells Success for You
Intentional Living

For frustrated pastors and church leaders

Are you ever frustrated by how much bureaucracy you face either as a pastor or a leader in trying to make decisions for the church?

Yesterday I had an extended conversation with a pastor of a church of nine hundred. The leadership structure of the church is "leadership by committee" and nothing is supposed to happen without the approval of the elder committee. They literally feel that they have the right and the prerogative of dealing with every issue in the church - even though the church is a large church of 900 people!

Imagine the frustration of a pastor who has strong leadership skills but cannot lead. Imagine the frustration of several board members who understand good governance but whose hands are tied.

My guess is that this pastor will end up leaving to the missional loss of the church.

I contrast that with the story I shared recently of a church that has empowered its leaders and has seen huge ministry success. In one church leaders are empowered to lead - in the other they are not.

What is sad is that the church of 900 above could easily lose its pastor due to his high frustration factor - affecting not just him but a large congregation who love him and his direction. And, the church is leaving a huge amount of ministry effectiveness on the table - unused because the committee of elders cannot get its act together but insists that it must control the pastors.

What is wrong with this picture?

First, these leaders are leading like the church was led when it had 100 people and today it is a church of 900. It does not work! When church governance does not reflect the size of the Church the ministry hits a ceiling and stalls out. Who gets hurt? Those who are no longer led well and those who are not reached because of ministry paralysis.

Second, these leaders clearly do not trust their pastor. When a board insists on controlling their staff they are clearly communicating mistrust. An interesting concept when the New Testament talks about a culture of trust among God's people.

Third, these leaders do not have the humility to listen to others and to learn new ways of leading. They insist that there way is God's way and no counsel regarding leadership principles is listened to - hubris - and foolishness.

The sad thing is that this is all too common in the church. But it does not and should not be that way. If you face these challenges, take a look at these blogs:

The Payoff for healthy church culture

Avoiding Board Traffic Jams

Institutional verses Missional: A cautionary Tale

A Leadership Fable

Rethinking the meaning of congregationalism

Checks and balances in church leadership

Church leadership and trust

Church structure matters

Executive Limitations: Defining the boundaries and creating freedom

In the governance world there is a concept called "Executive Limitations" which describe those things that the Senior leader, whether pastor, or CEO of a ministry cannot do without board agreement. It is a concept which actually provides great freedom to the senior leader because there is clarity on their scope of authority and freedom to do what is not specified as a limitation.

Executive limitations when combined with an annual ministry plan (not the subject of this blog) give the senior leader freedom to lead in those areas that are not defined as an executive limitation.

Lets, take an example of a church of 400 and consider what might be examples of executive limitations of the senior pastor:

The Senior Pastor cannot:

-engage in any illegal or unethical behavior or allow staff to do so

-exceed the annual budget

-engage in the sale or purchase of property

-hire or fire staff without board consultation

-make major programming changes without board consultation

-Violate or change the mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus or culture defined for the church

-Violate policies determined by the board

-Allow any conflicts of interest among staff

The size of the church would determine the kinds of executive limitations placed on its senior leader. It is far easier to state what the senior leader cannot do than to list all that they can and are expected to do. Thus, the leader is given freedom within the bounds of the ministry philosophy of the church to lead apart from whatever executive limitations are placed on them by the board. Those issues are reserved as board prerogatives.

The list of executive limitations can be added to or subtracted from depending on the size of the church and issues that come up. The goal with executive limitations is to clarify the authority of the senior leader to lead. In many areas the senior leader has the authority to lead as they see fit. In other areas, the board limits the authority because those issues are "board issues."

There is another category that is critical for a healthy board/senior leader relationship and that is the whole host of things that the board should be appraised of - even if it has not limited the authority of the senior leader. No board likes surprises, see my previous post, and the better the senior leader keeps the board appraised of their thinking, plans and intentions, the better the trust and understanding between board and senior staff.

Executive limitations must always be coupled with a clear job description of the Key Result Areas that define success for the senior leader. KRA's define the proactive job of the leader and executive limitations define the prerogatives of the board and require board approval.

There should be a board job description that lays out the purpose, ground rules and job of the board. That further clarifies what issues are the responsibility of the board and what are the responsibility of the senior leader.