There are a number of keys to personal growth but one of the most important is removing barriers to that growth. Thus the question: what is stalling your personal development?
We often strive harder when we want to grow but often it is not a matter of working harder but rather in addressing those issues that are inadvertently stalling our growth. Remove the barriers and we grow.
I spoke with someone recently, for instance who had struggled for years with certain personal disciplines regarding time, schedule, time with God and a number of other things. This is a highly successful individual by the way which indicates that such struggles are common to us all.
In the last year he was able to put structures in his life that enabled him to live out the disciplines he so desired and he is on a spiritual growth spurt that is like his initial years with Christ. He is the happiest and most productive he has ever been and it is all the result of removing a significant barrier to growth.
Barriers to growth are like dams. Once removed the river of growth flows unfetterd by the dam that held it back. Those barriers are as diverse as are people but usually we know what they are in our lives.
The question is not about not knowing but in determining what we are going to do about them - precisely because we don't want to stall out in our personal growth.
Take some time this week and ponder what barriers are holding you back. What barriers need to be removed to allow you to go the the next level spiritually, professionally or personally? Taking action will allow you to move forward.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Unempowered, unhappy and undervalued staff
I have met my share of people in ministry positions recently who have been working for unempowering leaders, hierarchical structures, controlling leaders or who have been sidelined or unappreciated by the leadership structure above them.
They feel like they are swimming upstream, their voice is not heard, that they cannot use their gifts to the fullest and while they love the ministry mandate of their organizations they feel like they no longer fit. It is a sad commentary on many ministry cultures. In many cases the controlling and unempowering culture causes great pain to those who are caught in its grip.
Whenever I have conversations with folks like this I think of the great waste of ministry potential, the frustration factor for good staff and the net loss to the kingdom. I cannot help think that God may hold leaders accountable for not fully releasing other ministry personnel for the sake of His kingdom.
What is more sad is that the leaders who cause this dysfunction don't even know they are doing it, or don't care. I have had leaders tell me how happy their staff are but when I ask some questions of those staff I find a radically different story. It is clear to me that the leader has assumed much and probed little.
One of the trends I am watching is high quality staff who are leaving these dysfunctional cultures in their fifties as they realize that life is short and they want to be in a place where they can experience convergence between their gifts, God's call and an empowered ministry culture.
The beneficiaries of those moves are ministries that value their staff, create empowered cultures, collegial teams, and value the gifts, voice and ideas of their ministry colleagues. For those who have been in the bondage of dysfunctional or unempowered ministries it is a breath of fresh air.
If you are a leader and value your staff, think about the culture you are creating. If you are a staff member in the wilderness of unempowered cultures, know that there are ministries that will release you to use all of your potential. Life is short and the opportunities are huge.
They feel like they are swimming upstream, their voice is not heard, that they cannot use their gifts to the fullest and while they love the ministry mandate of their organizations they feel like they no longer fit. It is a sad commentary on many ministry cultures. In many cases the controlling and unempowering culture causes great pain to those who are caught in its grip.
Whenever I have conversations with folks like this I think of the great waste of ministry potential, the frustration factor for good staff and the net loss to the kingdom. I cannot help think that God may hold leaders accountable for not fully releasing other ministry personnel for the sake of His kingdom.
What is more sad is that the leaders who cause this dysfunction don't even know they are doing it, or don't care. I have had leaders tell me how happy their staff are but when I ask some questions of those staff I find a radically different story. It is clear to me that the leader has assumed much and probed little.
One of the trends I am watching is high quality staff who are leaving these dysfunctional cultures in their fifties as they realize that life is short and they want to be in a place where they can experience convergence between their gifts, God's call and an empowered ministry culture.
The beneficiaries of those moves are ministries that value their staff, create empowered cultures, collegial teams, and value the gifts, voice and ideas of their ministry colleagues. For those who have been in the bondage of dysfunctional or unempowered ministries it is a breath of fresh air.
If you are a leader and value your staff, think about the culture you are creating. If you are a staff member in the wilderness of unempowered cultures, know that there are ministries that will release you to use all of your potential. Life is short and the opportunities are huge.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
When leadership boards become the barrier to church growth
Leadership boards play a significant role in whether congregations grow or hit a plateau or even go into decline.
Here is a general rule. The more time a leadership board spends on managing the day to day affairs of a church the greater the barrier they will be to church growth. The more time a leadership board spends on thinking and praying about the future the greater the chances that ministry growth will occur.
Why? Because a focus on the status quo will give you more status quo while a focus on the future will lead you toward that future.
This is why leadership boards should allow staff and volunteers to do the managing of day to day affairs and spend the majority of their time (50 % or more) thinking, praying and planning for the future.
How does a leadership board get to a place where it can afford to spend a good portion of their time in praying, thinking and learning so that they can move the ministry forward?
First plan your agendas around the big rocks not the small rocks.
Second, task others with coming up with systems or solutions to the small rocks and third delegate whatever they can to others so that they can do what they should be doing.
This is why the Apostles delegated the looking after the widows in the early church to others. It was the first known ministry team!
Whatever boards focus on will be the thing that gets done. It is a simple but important principle.
My book, High Impact Church boards, goes into greater detail if you need to refocus your board.
Here is a general rule. The more time a leadership board spends on managing the day to day affairs of a church the greater the barrier they will be to church growth. The more time a leadership board spends on thinking and praying about the future the greater the chances that ministry growth will occur.
Why? Because a focus on the status quo will give you more status quo while a focus on the future will lead you toward that future.
This is why leadership boards should allow staff and volunteers to do the managing of day to day affairs and spend the majority of their time (50 % or more) thinking, praying and planning for the future.
How does a leadership board get to a place where it can afford to spend a good portion of their time in praying, thinking and learning so that they can move the ministry forward?
First plan your agendas around the big rocks not the small rocks.
Second, task others with coming up with systems or solutions to the small rocks and third delegate whatever they can to others so that they can do what they should be doing.
This is why the Apostles delegated the looking after the widows in the early church to others. It was the first known ministry team!
Whatever boards focus on will be the thing that gets done. It is a simple but important principle.
My book, High Impact Church boards, goes into greater detail if you need to refocus your board.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Leadership self evaluation
As a leader I have high expectations of those who work in our organization. These include integrity, being focused on our common mission, creating a healthy atmosphere for our staff to flourish and then small things like returning emails and phone calls. In fact, we have a short document called "expectations of a leader" that spell these out.
From time to time I need to evaluate myself to ensure that I am living by the same standards I expect of others. It is all too easy for leaders to develop a sense of entitlement that the rules do not apply to them. And we know that others will not generally call us on it - we are their leader. It doesn't mean they don't notice, however!
Not only do staff notice but it directly impacts the opinion they have of their leader, either creating great trust and respect or cynicism and disrespect. It is easy for leaders to miss this point because no one is calling them on their failure to live up to the leadership expectations.
Here is an interesting scenario. It is possible for a leader to be well respected outside his/her staff because they accomplish good things but have far less respect within their staff because those who know them the best don't see them living out staff expectations. The real test of our leadership is whether those who know us the best respect us because we keep the common commitments well. We live what we expect from others.
From time to time I directly ask those who report to me if there are things I do or don't do that negatively impact them - or that they wish I would do differently. If there are areas where I am falling behind I want to know about it so that I can rectify my shortcomings.
All of us have shortcomings but wise leaders ensure that they are living out what they expect of others. It is a matter of leadership!
From time to time I need to evaluate myself to ensure that I am living by the same standards I expect of others. It is all too easy for leaders to develop a sense of entitlement that the rules do not apply to them. And we know that others will not generally call us on it - we are their leader. It doesn't mean they don't notice, however!
Not only do staff notice but it directly impacts the opinion they have of their leader, either creating great trust and respect or cynicism and disrespect. It is easy for leaders to miss this point because no one is calling them on their failure to live up to the leadership expectations.
Here is an interesting scenario. It is possible for a leader to be well respected outside his/her staff because they accomplish good things but have far less respect within their staff because those who know them the best don't see them living out staff expectations. The real test of our leadership is whether those who know us the best respect us because we keep the common commitments well. We live what we expect from others.
From time to time I directly ask those who report to me if there are things I do or don't do that negatively impact them - or that they wish I would do differently. If there are areas where I am falling behind I want to know about it so that I can rectify my shortcomings.
All of us have shortcomings but wise leaders ensure that they are living out what they expect of others. It is a matter of leadership!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Avoid the comparison trap. It is toxic to us.
Too often our view of ourselves deeply flawed. Rather than seeing ourselves for who we are we do so instead through a lens of comparison with others. That comparison creates a distorted view of ourselves: We see not who God made us to be but something different and someone different.
It is bad enough that we compare our own self worth against other people but we further complicate it by comparing our circumstances, positions, opportunities and wealth against those of others. These comparisons often create envy of others which directly leads to a lack of peace in our own lives.
Why are comparisons with others toxic for us? First because God uniquely made us as He wanted to, gave us the gifts He designed for us and a work to do that He created only for us (Ephesians 2:10). If we don't like who we are our argument is not with others around us but with God Himself. The problem is that God does not create anything but the best and it is only in embracing His purpose for our lives that we experience the greatest happiness and satisfaction.
Second, we tend to think that if we had the gifts, opportunities or wealth of others that we would be happy. Ironically, those we compare ourselves too are no less or more happy than we are. Their joy, like ours, depends on embracing the calling on their lives. And behind the good looking exteriors we all put up are issues struggled with, pain dealt with and their own set of challenges to work through.
Looking at our lives through the lens of the lives of others is like looking through a highly distorted window. No longer do we see who God made us to be with the gifting and purpose He designed for our lives but we distort our picture with what He intended for others. That distortion skews our thinking, robs our joy and more important sidetracks us from the role He uniquely designed for us to play.
Our joy and satisfaction comes when we embrace who God made us to be, how He uniquely gifted us and how He wants to use us. Try to embrace someone else's gifting and calling and we lose our joy (and it cannot be done anyway). Stop comparing and start embracing and we experience the joy of a life God made for us.
God has given us amazing, mind blowing gifts (Read Ephesians 1 and 2). One of those specific gifts is the making of the unique us (Ephesians 2:10) along with a specific mission in life. Embrace it, thank God for it and live it out and we will be the most joyful and satisfied of people. Distort all that by comparing ourselves with others and the joy and satisfaction is robbed.
Avoid the comparison trap. It will rob you of what God intended for your life.
It is bad enough that we compare our own self worth against other people but we further complicate it by comparing our circumstances, positions, opportunities and wealth against those of others. These comparisons often create envy of others which directly leads to a lack of peace in our own lives.
Why are comparisons with others toxic for us? First because God uniquely made us as He wanted to, gave us the gifts He designed for us and a work to do that He created only for us (Ephesians 2:10). If we don't like who we are our argument is not with others around us but with God Himself. The problem is that God does not create anything but the best and it is only in embracing His purpose for our lives that we experience the greatest happiness and satisfaction.
Second, we tend to think that if we had the gifts, opportunities or wealth of others that we would be happy. Ironically, those we compare ourselves too are no less or more happy than we are. Their joy, like ours, depends on embracing the calling on their lives. And behind the good looking exteriors we all put up are issues struggled with, pain dealt with and their own set of challenges to work through.
Looking at our lives through the lens of the lives of others is like looking through a highly distorted window. No longer do we see who God made us to be with the gifting and purpose He designed for our lives but we distort our picture with what He intended for others. That distortion skews our thinking, robs our joy and more important sidetracks us from the role He uniquely designed for us to play.
Our joy and satisfaction comes when we embrace who God made us to be, how He uniquely gifted us and how He wants to use us. Try to embrace someone else's gifting and calling and we lose our joy (and it cannot be done anyway). Stop comparing and start embracing and we experience the joy of a life God made for us.
God has given us amazing, mind blowing gifts (Read Ephesians 1 and 2). One of those specific gifts is the making of the unique us (Ephesians 2:10) along with a specific mission in life. Embrace it, thank God for it and live it out and we will be the most joyful and satisfied of people. Distort all that by comparing ourselves with others and the joy and satisfaction is robbed.
Avoid the comparison trap. It will rob you of what God intended for your life.
Friday, May 25, 2012
The cost of freedom
As a reader of history I am always amazed and deeply appreciative of the cost that was paid for the freedoms we enjoy and which most of the world does not. Men and women who willingly went into the line of fire knowing the risks and who were willing to pay the price - often the ultimate price. Memorial day is a sober day for anyone who has walked the graveyards of Normandy, Manila, Hawaii and others scattered around the world.
As one who regularly travels to countries where our freedoms are non existent, I am all too aware of what freedom means - or the lack of it.
There is another kind of freedom that is even more important - that of the spiritual freedom that the Gospel brings. And there is a long list of God's servants who have given their lives, and do every day around the world. There is no freedom in this world, political or spiritual without a cost.
Just as our world is in need of those like my nieces and nephews who are in the armed services defending our freedom, the church needs those who will go to hard places for the sake of the Gospel in spite of the risk. Political freedom brings temporal freedom. The Gospel brings temporal and eternal freedom.
I thank each member of our team in ReachGlobal who have given their careers to the cause of the Gospel. And to every member of every mission and every Christian worker in hard places. Your willingness to answer the call of Jesus is paying eternal dividends of men and women and children who have found freedom in Jesus.
Freedom is costly. It is also worth it. God's army is still waiting for those who will join it!
As one who regularly travels to countries where our freedoms are non existent, I am all too aware of what freedom means - or the lack of it.
There is another kind of freedom that is even more important - that of the spiritual freedom that the Gospel brings. And there is a long list of God's servants who have given their lives, and do every day around the world. There is no freedom in this world, political or spiritual without a cost.
Just as our world is in need of those like my nieces and nephews who are in the armed services defending our freedom, the church needs those who will go to hard places for the sake of the Gospel in spite of the risk. Political freedom brings temporal freedom. The Gospel brings temporal and eternal freedom.
I thank each member of our team in ReachGlobal who have given their careers to the cause of the Gospel. And to every member of every mission and every Christian worker in hard places. Your willingness to answer the call of Jesus is paying eternal dividends of men and women and children who have found freedom in Jesus.
Freedom is costly. It is also worth it. God's army is still waiting for those who will join it!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Those who need to control and how to recognize it
I am convinced that the desire to control others is a result of the fall and our sinful nature. And there are many people who are very good at controlling others. Often we feel the uncomfortable nature of someone's control but cannot always pinpoint the source of the control or its dysfunctional nature.
Sometimes we don't realize the controlling nature of the relationship until we are out of the relationship. An abused spouse, for instance, often does not realize what freedom is until they have been out of the abusive relationship for a period of time and it is in retrospect that they are able to pinpoint the sources of the control.
People and even groups of people control others in a variety of ways: actions; anger; flattery; attitudes; words; money; organizational structure; friendship or lack of it; intimidation; closeness or marginalization. In each case, the effort is to control the actions, thinking or behavior of others.
How does one know if there is control going on? Here are some signs:
Sometimes we don't realize the controlling nature of the relationship until we are out of the relationship. An abused spouse, for instance, often does not realize what freedom is until they have been out of the abusive relationship for a period of time and it is in retrospect that they are able to pinpoint the sources of the control.
People and even groups of people control others in a variety of ways: actions; anger; flattery; attitudes; words; money; organizational structure; friendship or lack of it; intimidation; closeness or marginalization. In each case, the effort is to control the actions, thinking or behavior of others.
How does one know if there is control going on? Here are some signs:
- I am feeling pressured to act or believe a certain way
- I feel the displeasure of another when I act independently
- My relationship with another is based on how I respond to them
- I feel intimidation
- I experience flattery when doing what the other desires and anger or distance when I don't
- I experience threats: implicit or explicit
- The other wants an exclusive relationship with me and is not comfortable with me having a variety of relationships
- There is not freedom to disagree or push back
- The other has an attitude of "you are either my friend or my enemy", "you are either for me or against me."
- The other feels free to critique me but does not give me the freedom to critique them
- I often feel an air of condescension or superiority
- I feel used in certain circumstances where I am expected to act on their behalf when they need it but there is not reciprocation
- I am often wrong but they are not - at least they make me feel that way
What these kinds of feelings are telling us is that there is dysfunction in the relationship that is violating our sense of personal freedom. If a relationship has these kinds of feelings to it we are wise to do some introspection on the relationship because it is usually going to end badly.
The reason it will end badly is that this is not a true and healthy friendship. Rather it is a relationship where one is being used - and when no longer needed will be discarded. Those who control people ultimately use people for their purposes. Otherwise they would have no need to control.
Beware of controlling relationships. Someone is ultimately going to get hurt and it will not be the controller.
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