Finding life satisfaction

All of us are on a quest for a life of meaning, purpose and satisfaction. But let's be honest. That quest can be frustrating and even seem pointless at times. Or elusive! We chase after the holy grail of satisfaction but often come up far emptier than we want.

Jesus had a lot to say about life and a satisfying life. In Eugene Peterson’s translation, The Message, Jesus talks to the crowd about real bread. The Bread of God that gives life to the world. This conversation came on the heels of Jesus feeding thousands of people with five loaves of bread and two fish. 

That got the attention of the people so as the crowds followed Jesus wanting to see more of that kind of miraculous fast food event, He said to the crowd, “Don’t waste your energy striving for perishable food like that. Work for the food that sticks with you, food that nourishes your lasting life, food the Son of Man provides. He and what he does are guaranteed by God the Father to last.” (John 6:27). 

When they say, “Master, give us this bread, now and forever!” Jesus gives us this clue to the key to life satisfaction. “The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever. (John 6:35). There we have the secret. As we align our life with His, we experience life in a new and fuller way  that lasts and makes a real difference.

This goes beyond simply inviting Christ into our lives which is the first step of finding eternal life. A life of satisfaction and meaning comes progressively as we choose to align all parts of our life with His. For instance, why are people who are generous with God and others happier than those who are stingy with their resources? Very simply, they have chosen to align their lives with His and in practicing generosity they experience more of His blessing than those who keep it all for themselves.

I know many who claim to be Christ followers who are not happy or satisfied people. Some are downright ornery and unhappy. I suspect that much of the reason is that they have not chosen to align their lives with His except in a superficial way. There is a thief - the evil one who would like to steal our joy, passion and purpose and he is good at it if we let him. But Jesus said in John 10:10, "I came so that they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." That is the life we want and it comes as we align our lives progressively more with His.

Every choice we make to align our lives with His teaching and example leads to a fuller life and one that is more satisfying. Ironically, it is when we align with Him and give up our own control and life satisfaction schemes that we find the good that nourishes our lives the most. As Jesus says in John 27, “He and what he does are guaranteed by God the Father to last.”

The life long pursuit of satisfaction and meaning can be found in one place: The life long pursuit of aligning our lives with His teaching and His example. It is that simple but simplicity is sometimes our nemesis. Here is my question today. Where does He want you to align your life more fully with His? Figure out how you can do that and you will experience greater meaning in your life. Stay in alignment with Him and you will experience life and life abundant.

Our personal joy and happiness are always a matter of focus

There is one critical difference between those people who live with great happiness and those who live with great unhappiness. The former focus on the blessings in their lives while the latter focus on the deficits in their lives. It is a matter of focus and it makes the difference between a life of joy and a life of unhappiness.

Our personal happiness is not dependent on our life circumstances. It is dependent on our focus. Having travelled the world and met people who live in extreme poverty but who know Christ I am always amazed at their joy. In conversations they tell me about all the blessings they have because of Jesus. I meet other believers who have all the material blessings who are deeply pessimistic about their circumstances. Regardless of our life situation we always have a choice as to our focus: A focus on Jesus and His blessings or a focus on ourselves and our problems. Our focus will determine our level of joy and happiness.

Those who choose to focus on their situation and problems will never be truly happy because there focus is in the wrong place. Think about the Psalms David wrote. They deal with real life but time after time David refocuses his mind on the blessings of God who is our rock, our fortress, our protector, our provider, our healer, our Savior and the list goes on and on. Even in the depths of personal despair David kept his focus on the One who could bring happiness, joy and was the source of his life. David's life was far from easy for many years, yet he retained a positive outlook by focusing on God and His blessings and provision.

When we focus on our problems and circumstances we put the source of our happiness into the hands of life which will surely disappoint. When we focus on Jesus and His blessings we put the source of our happiness into the hands of the only One who can truly give it. As the Psalmist says, "I pray to you, O Lord, for the time of your favor. O God! In your great kindness answer me with your constant help. Answer me, O Lord, for bounteous is your kindness; in your great mercy turn toward me. I am afflicted and in pain; let your saving help, O God, protect me. I will praise the name of God in son, and I will glorify him with thanksgiving."

One of my regular habits it to journal. I am frank and honest in what I write. But I find myself reflecting often on the blessings of God in my life and it changes everything when I focus on the many blessings He gives on a daily basis. It is all too easy to miss those blessings when our focus in in the wrong place. Focus on Him and we see His blessings. Focus on ourselves and we miss them. Every day we have a choice. And it is a powerful choice.

What is your passion quotient?

What are you passionate about? Really passionate! What is it that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning and tackle the day? What is it that you want to give your life to? What activity or work gives you the greatest joy in life? Real joy!

What we are passionate about is most likely closely tied to the work that God created us to accomplish. Passion and our "sweet spot" are closely linked. And our area of passion is most likely where we are most effective.

It is possible over time to drift out of our area of passion into all kinds of work that may be important but which do not align with our passion. That drift slowly drains our energy and compromises our effectiveness. Most importantly, it moves us away from the spot that God created us for and the place that brings our hearts the greatest joy.

Thoughtful individuals are always asking the question: how do I organize life so that I stay in my areas of greatest strength and how do I help my staff do the same? Sure there are responsibilities that we must do even though they are not our favorite things. But, if we are not playing to our strengths and passions 60 - 80% of the time we will suffer from diminished energy and vision.

Signs of drift from our sweet spot include boredom, restlessness, irritability, lack of energy and the absence of the joy that once drove us. Those symptoms are often indicators from our creator that we have moved away from the place He uniquely created us for.

Many choose to ignore those indicators and settle in for the duration in a place where they are not passionate - but "safe." Those who care most deeply about finishing well and making the most of the opportunity God has given never settle for "safe" or "security" but keep pressing back into the place where God created them to be.

That may mean a different job. It may mean re-negotiating your present responsibilities. It may mean a pay decrease in order to live in our sweet spot. It could mean retooling for a different occupation. It may mean greater discipline in determining one's priorities and activities.

One cannot read the gospels and not be impressed by the passion of Jesus to fulfill His father's will for his life. Paul exudes passion in each of his epistles for the work God gave him. Can you say you have that kind of passion for the work God gave you? If not, what do you need to do to rekindle that passion because our effectiveness is directly linked to our passion. The worst thing we can do is settle for less than God created us to be.

What is your passion quotient?

Life is a pursuit: we are all chasing something

Life is a pursuit. We have dreams, goals, desires, inner drives, and our own dysfunctions and pride that all contribute to whatever it is that we are pursuing. Understanding what we are chasing is a complex undertaking. But we are all chasing something!

In his advice to his protegee, Timothy, the Apostle Paul gives him some clear and salient counsel about those things he should chase. "But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith...(1 Timothy 6:11:-12)."

What he was to flee from is exactly what the world chases after - the love of money, discontentment, the "foolish and harmful desires" that drive so many. What he was to chase after were the spiritual qualities that define a person who looks like Jesus. We are all chasing something. Paul says be clear about what you are chasing and make sure that it is worthy of the chase.

We are defined by what we pursue in life. Chase the wrong things and we are like those Paul talks about who have "pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Timothy 6:10). 

In the end it is a person who defines our pursuit: God! Paul trips over his words to try to define the only one worthy of our pursuit. "God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen (1 Timothy 6:15-16).

What or whom are you chasing today? If you lead others, your chase will impact everyone you lead. 

For those fifty and over: think convergence

Much of our lives are spent learning who we are, what our gifting is, where our strengths and weaknesses are and through the experiences of life and work finding out our strongest lane. 

Ironically, it is often in our fifties and sixties and beyond that we have our greatest impact. No longer running on raw energy we are living with greater wisdom, doing less but accomplishing more and seeing greater results. Hopefully we are also comfortable in our own skin with nothing we need to prove and nothing to lose. It is a good place to be.

There is also the greatest possibility of convergence in our lives where our biography, experience, training, gifts and passions come together in a powerful combination for maximum influence and impact. I call this convergence and if you are fifty or over I would encourage you to think about what convergence would look like for you and then ask whether you can arrange your life and work in a way that helps you get there.

We accumulate activities and responsibilities in our personal and work lives over time and often don't take the time to shed those that are old, or that are not truly in our lane of effectiveness. It is like the stuff in our garage that just sits there, of no use to us anymore but we continue to let it accumulate.

Convergence comes when we are able to let go of those things that someone else can do and we are not truly gifted in to focus on areas of passion, skill and greatest impact. I often ask ministry leaders in their fifties what their greatest passion is and then, how could you arrange your life and work so that you spend the greatest amount of time in those areas of passion? Often they have never realized that they could actually do that.

But this is not just for leaders. It is for all of us who want to make an impact in whatever area of life we inhabit. We can declutter our lives for greater focus in areas where God uses us the most. And this is where we find our greatest joy and satisfaction anyway. 

There is always more: don't settle

Is this all there is? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Realizing that life is different than you expected and maybe you are on the other side of fifty? Perhaps life as we dreamt it would be and life as we know it to be brings a certain dissapointment and restlessness of the soul. Is this all there is?


Jesus says NO! There is always more: don't settle. He says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full (John 10:10)." He wants us to have a life that is fully lived, fully realized, fully filled up and full of Him. He is the giver, the source and the goal of the "more" that we long for.


As long as we have life, there are six areas of life where we can always experience more. 


Dreams to pursue. Who is the giver of our deepest longings if not God? I knew as a young child that I would write but it took over fifty years to get the first book out and now there are four and several on the way. He is the giver of dreams so don't settle. Our world is made better every day by those who pursue God given dreams.


Relationships to develop. God gave us the capacity for close, meaningful relationships but they take time and nurturing to grow and flourish. Relationships with fellow pilgrims are what bring some of the greatest richness to life. Each one changes us in some way. That is why the loss of a friend through death is so traumatic. We are enriched when we invest in those relationships.


People to love. Being Jesus to others through our love, help, assistance, encouragement, and kindness brings joy to the heart and richness of life. We find life as we give it away in a Jesus sense. Life is not found in what we get as much as in what we give. There is no shortage of people to love and to be Jesus to. In fact there are now 7 billion to choose from so enrich your life daily by being Jesus to someone.


Growth in Jesus to experience. He is the source and goal of the "more" we long for. Learning to live in His presence, focusing on allowing Him to transform us, letting His Word marinate in our minds and walking in His Spirit is an ongoing, never ending process of growth. It costs nothing and is the most rewarding life giving and soul satisfying thing we could do.


Things to learn. Who created us with the capacity to learn and to grow if not our Creator? Those billions of neurons in our brain were designed by a creative God for His creative people. As part of the Image He endowed us with, He created us to create and to learn and to stretch our minds because the more we do, the more we appreciate the One who gave the gift. It is never too late to learn and grow.


Creation to enjoy. Why are we drawn to the shore, or to mountains, or to the streams to fly fish? Why are we awed by the sky on a clear dark night? Why does the sea fascinate us? Why is my 16 month old grandchild smitten by the funny looking creatures he sees at the zoo looking back at him? He made all this for us and as we consider it and play in it we experience the Creator in a new way. And, His majesty is greater than the sum of it. 


There is always more so don't settle. And in the end, the MORE with Him in His presence will be so much more that it will take a new and heavenly body to experience it - replacing this present one that starts of fail us. Don't settle!

Avoid the comparison trap. It is toxic to us.

Too often our view of ourselves deeply flawed. Rather than seeing ourselves for who we are we do so instead through a lens of comparison with others. That comparison creates a distorted view of ourselves: We see not who God made us to be but something different and someone different.


It is bad enough that we compare our own self worth against other people but we further complicate it by comparing our circumstances, positions, opportunities and wealth against those of others. These comparisons often create envy of others which directly leads to a lack of peace in our own lives.


Why are comparisons with others toxic for us? First because God uniquely made us as He wanted to, gave us the gifts He designed for us and a work to do that He created only for us (Ephesians 2:10). If we don't like who we are our argument is not with others around us but with God Himself. The problem is that God does not create anything but the best and it is only in embracing His purpose for our lives that we experience the greatest happiness and satisfaction.


Second, we tend to think that if we had the gifts, opportunities or wealth of others that we would be happy. Ironically, those we compare ourselves too are no less or more happy than we are. Their joy, like ours, depends on embracing the calling on their lives. And behind the good looking exteriors we all put up are issues struggled with, pain dealt with and their own set of challenges to work through.


Looking at our lives through the lens of the lives of others is like looking through a highly distorted window. No longer do we see who God made us to be with the gifting and purpose He designed for our lives but we distort our picture with what He intended for others. That distortion skews our thinking, robs our joy and more important sidetracks us from the role He uniquely designed for us to play. 


Our joy and satisfaction comes when we embrace who God made us to be, how He uniquely gifted us and how He wants to use us. Try to embrace someone else's gifting and calling and we lose our joy (and it cannot be done anyway). Stop comparing and start embracing and we experience the joy of a life God made for us. 


God has given us amazing, mind blowing gifts (Read Ephesians 1 and 2). One of those specific gifts is the making of the unique us (Ephesians 2:10) along with a specific mission in life. Embrace it, thank God for it and live it out and we will be the most joyful and satisfied of people. Distort all that by comparing ourselves with others and the joy and satisfaction is robbed.


Avoid the comparison trap. It will rob you of what God intended for your life.

Choosing joy today

It is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) but how many truly joyful Christ followers do you meet? Living with joy is both a gift (the Holy Spirit gives it to us) and a choice (I will choose to live in His joy). He gives the gift. We decide whether we will choose joy over pessimism, sadness or sorrow.


Unlike typical self help talk, the joy that Jesus gives is not the discipline of talking ourselves into a happy state regardless of our circumstances. Rather it is a joy based on the presence of Christ and the hope of Christ in the midst of our circumstances. He is the source of our hope and joy. He is the one who never leaves us or forsakes us (Romans 8). He is the one who promises to work His will in our lives, go before us, provide us with what we need for the day and be our advocate for the circumstances we face. 


This, then is no self help "joy" but a joy based on God's presence and promises. In those days when we don't feel joy we can choose joy, knowing that it is a gift from Him. In those days when our circumstances don't dictate joy we can choose joy knowing of his presence in our circumstances. 


Living with joy is choosing to see life through God's eyes and in light of His promises. It is living in His presence and remembering His promises. It is rejecting pessimism in light of God's gifts which He showers on us. It is choosing Him and hope over our circumstances and all the problems we see around us.


Joy is a wonderful gift. I choose joy today.

Do we really comprehend and live out God's grace in our lives?

It is not by accident that the hymn, Amazing Grace is a favorite for so many. It captures so well the essence of what attracted us to Jesus,  redeemed us and it will indeed be something that we will spend eternity trying to comprehend. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9)."


I am convinced that we will never fully understand the full scope of God's grace this side of eternity but that it must be something that we push into daily. The more we understand His grace in our lives, the more content we are in Jesus, the more grace we show others and the more we look like Jesus. He is the essence of grace and it was what made Him the magnet for people that He was.


Understanding grace is a life changer for us and for how we relate to others. Too often we are recipients of God's grace but are not students of what it means to extend that same grace to others. The legalism, conditional acceptance, interpersonal conflict and lack of love even in the church is evidence of the great need for God's people to grow in grace. Knowing truth is not enough for Christ followers. Living out truth with the grace of Christ is what will attract others to us and then to Jesus. Jesus came full of "grace and truth." Do we?


For instance, when I truly understand and live out grace:


-I no longer try to earn God's favor but understand that there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less. Therefore I can be joyful and content in my daily walk with Him.


-I do not feel the need to play the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others but rather extend to them the grace God extends to me, pray for them and be patient with their faults as God is with mine. I am slow to judge, quick to think the best and remember how patient and gracious God is with me in my personal growth as I extend that same attitude toward others.


-I am able to forgive myself for my own shortcomings, knowing that God has already done that. My motivation to grown in my obedience is no longer about earning His favor but rather wanting to please Him out of gratitude for His amazing love.


-I forgive others quickly knowing that Jesus extends that gift to me daily. I cannot withhold from others what Jesus has so graciously extended to me. I don't give people what they deserve but what they don't deserve, just as Jesus did not give us what we deserve.


-I no longer look at people the way the world does but know that every individual I encounter has eternal value in His eyes and therefore must in my eyes as well. I go out of my way to love those that others don't love and to give value to those that others forget. 


-I don't display conditional love just as Jesus does not give  me conditional love. Unconditional love is the love of grace and it is an act of our will based on God's unconditional love for me.


-I love to surprise people with grace when they least expect or even deserve it. Just like Jesus with tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, lepers, and all those that were considered undeserving and worthy only of judgement. After all, God surprised us with grace when we did not deserve or expect it.


-I am not hard or harsh even when I need to bring correction to a brother or sister. Rather, my motivation is always love that comes out of God's gracious love in my own life. I display toward other the same graciousness that God gives to me daily.


-I love to encourage those who have messed up big time that God is not finished with them yet and that He can redeem their sin and give them hope and a purpose. After all, that is what God did for us. He is the hope for the broken, the guilty, and the hopeless. There is no person and no situation that God cannot redeem so we become evangelists of His hope.


There are many other characteristics of living out a life of grace. One of the most valuable things we can do is to regularly think about all of our relationships, attitudes, words and actions from a filter of God's grace to us. Reading the gospels regularly helps us to capture the secrets of Jesus' grace to inform us of what it means to live a grace filled life.

Liberating personal clarity

There is something very liberating about understanding how God designed us, what we are good at and therefore where we should focus our time and energies. Just as our closets, trunks and garages accumulate stuff that we don't need, so our lives, schedules and commitments accumulate obligations that we don't need and that don't contribute to our legacy because they are not in our lane. Often they are the accumulated expectations of others for us - everyone has a wonderful plan for our lives!


But so does God and it is His plan for our lives that counts the most. And He designed and wired and gifted us for a purpose. When we understand that purpose and live it out we experience great joy and satisfaction. On the other hand, when we are simply accumulating obligations and activities that are not aligned with His purpose, we experience frustration and decreased happiness. 


I was recently talking to a colleague about how busy and without margin his life had become. He had accumulated so much stuff, so many obligations that life was not fun anymore. Further, much of the stuff was not in his primary lane of where he would make the most impact. He is now in the process of a personal "garage sale" to relinquish many of those obligations so that he can focus on what brings him the greatest joy and will make the greatest contribution to the kingdom.


It is liberating to realize that there are things we can say no too, based on the clarity of what God has called us to do. 


Youth does not lend itself to this kind of clarity but by the time we reach our forties, fifties and sixties we have a much better idea of who God made us to be and therefore where we are most effective. It makes sense that we focus our lives in those directions where God wired us to make the greatest impact. And, to feel free to graciously decline those things that take us away from our impact zone.


What is your impact zone? The place where you are in your lane, shine, feel the greatest joy and make the most impact for Jesus? Are you spending most of your time there or have you accumulated all kinds of obligations that actually take you away from your zone?  Do you need to shed some of the stuff of life so that you can live with more focus?

I would be happy if.....

Have you ever fallen into the trap of thinking that "I would be happy if.....?" Maybe it is a new car, a new spouse, a new house, that nifty flatscreen TV or whatever. "I would be happy if..." robs us of happiness today and defines happiness by our circumstances, our possessions or some external factor in our lives when happiness can only come from the inside! As soon as our happiness is defined by external things we are robbed of the ability to live in happiness every day.


Relying on the external for the core joy and happiness of our lives is the reason so many people chase after stuff, experiences and even sin at the expense of a relationship with Jesus which is the true source of joy and happiness. "I would be happy if...." is an empty promise! As soon as one attains that thing that will supposedly make us happy, the goal line changes and we find another "I would be happy if...." When our joy and happiness comes from within (and from God) we have the real deal and no one can rob us of it.



Joyful living is a gift of the Holy Spirit (one of the fruits of the Spirit) and it is a choice that each of us make every day. As a gift of the Spirit it is available to us at any time, regardless of our circumstances. That does not mean we don't wish some things were different in our lives or hope they will be different someday. It does mean that we choose a posture of joy in whatever circumstances we find ourselves because we are intentionally walking with God and conscious of His provision, care, and love.


A key to joyful living is the fostering of an ongoing spirit of thanksgiving to God for all of His blessings. Numerous times in the New Testament or Psalms we are told to be people of thanks and to live with an attitude of thanks. "Thank you Jesus" ought to be the mantra of our days. The more thankful we are the more joy we possess because thankfulness leads to a joyful heart.


It is an irony that many of the most joyful and happy people I have met are those who have suffered the most. Their circumstances did not determine their joy, their relationship with God did. Any of you who have been in the presence of Joni Eareckson Tada know exactly what I mean. Joy radiates from her paraplegic body and her singing, smile and words of encouragement infect all around her. But she would be the first to tell you it is a daily choice and not always an easy one. 


In the next 24 hours, simply live in a spirit of thanksgiving and see what it does for your happiness factor.