The path to legacy - it may not be what you think it is

Leader often pursue the wrong path when it comes to leaving a legacy. Often for Christian leaders it is building some ministry or enterprise and all of our energy, time and focus goes into that pursuit. As one who leads I know that temptation to do this. Certainly we want what we lead to be healthy, transformational and missional, making a difference in our world. However, I am convinced that even these great efforts are not the path to legacy, to making a multi-generational difference into the future.

That path, the legacy path is far more about lives we have deeply impacted who in turn deeply impact other lives in an ever widening disciplemaking group. Think about this: Jesus could have started an institution, but He did not. He changed the world by discipling twelve guys who in turn discipled others and they others and the world was changed. Paul did the same. Sure he started churches, the Bride of Jesus because these should be the training ground of disciples but he personally invested in men like Timothy and Titus and others (2 Timothy 2:2) who did the same.

It is time to reclaim the Great Commission which says, "Go and make disciples of all nations." That is, multiply men and women who are deeply committed, all-in followers of Jesus who rather than focusing primarily on institutions, focus on life on life transformation of others who will in turn do the same. This is the great need in the church today and it is the great need if the Gospel is actually going to penetrate our communities. 

I have led a church, a mission agency, and various other ministries but I firmly believe these are not my legacy. My legacy will be my two kids and grand kids following Jesus with all their hearts and the individuals whom I have poured my life into over the years, those upon whom I have had deep influence. They in turn have and will have deep influence on others and the circle of fully devoted, all in disciples, will continue to grow - long after my name is forgotten by everyone except maybe for a few dusty books sitting on shelves.

I spend a lot of time mentoring and coaching people who will in turn do the same with others. Some are in my tribe (denomination), many are not. For Jesus there is only His tribe. Don't be fooled about what you leave behind. The path to legacy is often counter intuitive. It is not institutions but people both within those institutions and outside. If you want a legacy, be sure you are investing in the right place.

One last thing. One does not have to be a leader to have this kind of legacy. In fact, there are far more non-leaders who understand this principle than leaders who are too busy building something. Every Christ follower is called to make disciples and in doing so those who do have far more influence than many leaders do.

When I ask people who was the most influential man in the New Testament other than Jesus the answer is often Paul. Actually I disagree. I believe it was Barnabas who discipled Paul intensely for a period of years. Barnabas understood the model of Jesus and because he invested in Paul, the greatest theologian of the Scriptures was developed. Something to think about!

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Big God, small problem. Small God, big problem!

Our understanding of God's word has everything to do with how we approach life in very practical ways. One of those ways is how we approach challenges, reversals and problems.

As the years go by and I have more experience with God, I tend to respond to problems with a lot less angst than in my younger days. Perhaps I have matured a bit. But more importantly I have come to understand that God is bigger and sovereign and good and can be trusted with those issues that are larger than me. In Paul's words, He can do far more than we could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). 

The bigger our God, the smaller our problem. But that comes from understanding Him better, trusting Him more and realizing that He is ultimately in charge of our lives. As I wrote in When Life Comes Undone, "It is a wonderful gift to come to the place were all we have to trust in is God." He is a big God and His bigness puts our problems in their proper perspective.

When on the other hand we are not living close to Him, our problems loom large. The smaller our God, the more out of touch we are with Him, the less we know about Him, the larger our problems look. It is a matter of perspective, theology and faith.

I am deeply thankful for my perspective today. I know there is nothing that I cannot leave in His hands. The larger our God, the smaller our problems. The larger our faith, the less our anxiety. 

A big God leads to small problems while a small God leads to big problems. Which would you prefer?

How our motives in ministry impact how we lead in very specific ways

We often don't think about this but the motivation of leaders directly impacts how they lead, how they treat their staff and how they deal with difficulties. Motives are powerful in their implications.

Consider how we lead. If my underlying motivation is to build something for myself I will lead selfishly. What I do will serve my purposes, my goals, my vision and my kingdom. If, on the other hand my underlying motivation is to contribute to the Kingdom of God, I will lead unselfishly because it is not about me but about God and His purposes. Unselfish leadership always takes the spotlight off of us and shines it on Jesus alone. It is all about Him, not us. If you want to know the motivation of a church or ministry just look at how much attention is focused on the leader and how much is focused on Jesus.

Consider how we treat our staff. If my underlying motivation is to build something for myself I will use people, control people and manipulate people to achieve my ends. If on the other hand, my motivation is to build God's kingdom, I will empower people, release people, seek to help people get in their lane, use their gifts and see people flourish. Selfish leaders use people for their purposes. Unselfish leaders release people to become all that God designed them to be. If you want to understand if a leader's motivation is more about them or more about God, simply watch how they treat people!

Or consider how we deal with difficulties we face. When our underlying motivation is to build something for ourselves we become angry and frustrated because our efforts have been thwarted. Those problems become personal because our plans are threatened. If on the other hand, our goal is to build the kingdom of Jesus, we will trust Him, believe in faith that He will intervene and leave our frustrations with Jesus. How leaders respond to difficulties is a pretty good indication of whether their agenda is theirs of God's.

It is clear that our leadership motivation makes all the difference in our leadership. Unfortunately, too much leadership in the Christian arena is more about us than about Him.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

What I wish more leaders did differently

Someone asked me recently what I wish organizational leaders did differently after all the consultations I have done. I have been mulling on that so here goes:

I wish more leaders cared about the health and vitality of their staff. There is frankly no good excuse for an unhealthy workplace or unappreciated staff. If we cannot create a healthy work environment we don't deserve to have staff working for us. If we are going to lead we must make the health of our staff one of our highest priorities.

I wish more leaders understood how important it is to clarify who the organization is, where it is going and how it is going to get there. The truth is that our staff deserve this clarity. The other truth is that without that clarity we don't know where we are going. And if that clarity simply resides in the head of the leader it is not understood by those who need to understand. If we are going to lead we need to be clear about what is important.

I wish more leaders were willing to empower others rather than to control others. Leaders who control, micromanage or make decisions others should be making are unempowering leaders who are treating their staff poorly. It is usually a sign of threatened and insecure leaders! Those who cannot empower should not lead and don't deserve to have staff working for them.

I wish more leaders paid greater attention to their own Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It's health or dishealth directly impacts their staff. Too many leaders are defensive, don't allow candid dialogue, marginalize those who disagree with them, don't listen, don't ask questions and cannot handle push-back. What they get in return are people who don't tell them when the emperor has no clothes because staff know they won't hear or don't want to hear. They are poorer leaders and people because of it.

I wish more leaders paid attention to their personal and professional growth. The quality of leadership depends on the quality of our spiritual, emotional, relational and skill health yet so many leaders have no development plan. They are too busy leading to become better leaders! Eventually those who don't pay attention to growth hit a wall and can no longer lead well. That could have been avoided if they had paid attention to the right things along the way.

I wish more leaders would ask their key reports how they could lead better and what their reports wish were different. Because most leaders don't ask they simply remain ignorant to issues that they should be aware of. It takes courage to ask but if we really care about the health of our staff or team we will. If we are not courageous enough to ask we are really saying that it is not important to us and that is a sad statement. Unfortunately many will never ask.

What is interesting about this wish list is that the burden of poor leadership falls to one group - our staff. The blessing of good leadership falls also to staff. How we lead directly impacts all those who work in our organization. I meet too many staff who live with the burden rather than the blessing.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Three essential EQ skills every leader and supervisor must have to be successful

The longer I lead the more convinced I am that much of one's leadership stands or falls on their EQ (Emotional Intelligence). Good EQ gives our leadership credibility while poor EQ sabotages it. Yet it remains a skill set that many pay too little attention to. If I had to identify three EQ skills that a leader or supervisor had to have to be successful in the long run they would be these.

One: Personal security. Insecurity is the menace of many leaders leading to all kinds of behaviors to mask that insecurity. Personal security is knowing who we are with our strengths and weaknesses and being OK with that. Secure individuals do not need to be right, they have no need to be defensive and can live from a "nothing to prove, nothing to lose" perspective. Secure leaders are healthy leaders while insecure leaders are not.

Two: Self awareness. The better we understand ourselves the better our leadership can be. Other awareness and empathy toward others are not possible without self awareness. Self aware individuals understand their emotions and control them, their motives and regulate them and their relationships and keep them healthy. They also understand how they are perceived by others and how to manage their dark side (we all have one).

Three: Other awareness. Those who cannot understand the emotions, reactions, motivations and behaviors of others come off as uncaring, aloof and arrogant. Maybe even narcissistic. One cannot have empathy toward others without being aware of their needs and concerns. The best leaders are acutely aware of those around them and their needs. Only those who understand others can help them succeed and grow.

There is one more thing. It is possible to possess these skills but to neglect them - to become so consumed in our own stuff that we become careless with our self awareness, other awareness and it is possible for our personal security to become arrogance if not guarded. These three areas of EQ must be guarded, practiced and evaluated regularly for our leadership to be healthy. 


(Written from Berlin, Germany)

After you hire the real work begins

You have your addition and you breath a sigh of relief. But not too fast! Now, the real work begins. From day one, you want to ensure that your new team member understands the mission, values, preferred future and all the things you told them on your 'what they need to know' list. They have heard it from you, now you need to make sure that they 'get it' in terms of how they work on your team.

The more personal time you can spend on the front end, the faster they will get up to speed and develop what you want them to develop rather than trying to figure out the 'rules' by watching others.

Set aside regular times to just sit with them over the first six months to ask them what they are observing, what they are surprised about, what information they need to do their job, and how you can remove barriers for them. Ask them how they read the culture of your team and ministry. They are new - you might be surprised by what they observe as a new set of eyes coming in. Probe with questions so that you both learn and can know how well they are assimilating into the organization. Make personal introductions to those they need to know in the organization.

For your own purposes and so you can do a better job with the next hire, after six months ask them to tell you what they wish they had been told on the front end, what the most difficult part of the transition was and what was most helpful in the entire process. Jot down their feedback and incorporate it into your next hiring process.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Bill Gothard and how his Basic Youth Conflicts led to Scriptural abuse and people abuse

Yes I attended one of the Basic Youth Conflict seminars as a teenager, one of millions that did. In a day when the church was not talking about practical issues, he certainly did. And it drew many adherents, and many cult like followers who believed his every word. Bill Gothard has finally resigned after decades of allegations, problems and abuse of people in his organization.

The problem was how Bill Gothard used the Word. For every issue there was a several step process to resolve them. It was a mechanical approach to solving those "basic youth conflicts" and you didn't need much of the Holy Spirit to do so. Further, his proof texting approach led to some egregious theological errors including the infamous "chain of command" from God to parents to children and of course from husbands to wives to children. 

It was a theology of control that led Bill and his brother to controlling people who worked in his ministry in amazing ways. Words like manipulation, abuse, bondage, legalism, guilt, threats, manipulative God speak and sexual abuse all fit. It was legalism through and through with enough "truth" thrown in to make it sound and seem biblical. But it was far from Biblical in many respects.

One of the interesting byproducts of the black and white approach to every issue by Bill was that his disciples tended to marginalize those who disagreed with them. Churches split over Gothard theology, families were hurt, women were put down and used. When theology causes division (not over orthodox tenets of the faith) you know something is very wrong and it was a regular trait of both Gothard and his followers.

It also allowed the abuse of people using the veneer of God and the Bible. Grace was hard to find and as noted the Holy Spirit and His direction in our lives downplayed for the direction of the "spiritual authority" above us.

What is truly sad is that the bad theology and terrible treatment of people goes back to the sixties and yet he has been able to carry on largely unimpeded all these years. Until now when the weight of the years of abuse finally brought about his resignation. Many, many people have been scarred by his legalism and proof-texting. Many live with great guilt because they violated his "dress code" or "definition of Christian music." Many know they don't measure up to God because of what God "requires" (by Gothard's definition).

Some lessons from all this?

1. We should be disciples of no man or woman but Jesus alone.
2. If anyone has all the answers they don't have the answers.
3. When theology divides beware.
4. When theology is used to control people it is not from Jesus.
5. When legalism rather than grace is the focus, it is not from Jesus.
6. When rules not found in Scripture are propagated, it is rarely from Jesus.
7. Check out the texts being used by yourself. Many of Gothard's proof texts do not say what he says they do.
8. When many evangelical scholars take exception to someone's teaching, pay attention (many did).
9. When there are hints of immorality and money misuse or poor board oversight of a ministry - stay away (there were).
10. When there is a mechanistic answer to every problem, forget it. It is not how God works. 
11. When a ministry's workplace is toxic something is very, very wrong.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.