Counterintuitive practices of great leaders: Leading beyond the ordinary

There are several practices of wise leaders that are counterintuitive to how people usually think and act. However, these counterintuitive practices can help you build incredibly strong, resilient, and loyal teams. 

First is the practice of holding staff with an open hand. We breed resentment when we hold on to staff and make it difficult for them to move on or explore other opportunities. On the other hand, if we always tell them that we want the absolute best for them, whether with our team or on another, you breed loyalty. Those who are willing to let go find that people actually stay longer!

Second, developing staff to their maximum potential, even though it may mean they eventually leave your organization because you have developed them beyond your ability to challenge them. This willingness to develop others comes from a conviction that leadership is a trust, and a major part of that trust is building capacity into others - not to benefit you specifically but to help others use their God-given gifts to their fullest potential. This is an unselfish view of leadership development that benefits your staff, your organization, and others that your staff may end up serving.

Third, giving leadership opportunities away to qualified individuals rather than keeping them to yourself. This is counterintuitive because leadership opportunity also equals power and authority in the minds of many. Most leaders tend to guard rather than share leadership opportunities. It is counterintuitive to lift others up as we are often naturally selfish. Doing so, however, extends our own influence as we allow others to lead. 

Fourth, encourage people to speak their minds even when disagreeing with your ideas or thinking. The ability of others to engage in robust dialogue where any issue can be discussed, with the exception of personal attacks or hidden agendas, actually brings the best thoughts to the table. Leaders must overcome their insecurities to encourage robust dialogue, but they get the best from their people when they do. Letting others speak their minds even when they contradict our ideas is powerful and counterintuitive.

Fifth, encourage staff to accomplish their jobs in their own way (not how we would do it) within specified boundaries. Empowerment means letting go and unleashing others to use their creativity and gifts in their own way. It is hard for leaders to let go, but when they do, they get the best out of their staff—if they choose them wisely. Micromanagement breeds resentment, while empowerment breeds great loyalty.

One of my convictions is that conventional wisdom is always conventional but not always wisdom. The best leaders think differently than conventional leaders, and their counterintuitive practices reflect nonconventional thinking. 

What does it say about Christianity in this country when you cannot even have a conversation about helping pastors deal with political polarization in their churches because the conversation is too polarizing

This says much about the state of Christianity in America. In a column by Julie Roys, it was reported that "The Presbyterian Church in America canceled an announced panel on helping pastors deal with polarization - saying the topic was too divisive."

I have felt for some time that we have elevated politics above Jesus and the Gospel in this country. And when you cannot even have a conversation about politics to help pastors deal with the deep divisions among God's people in their own churches, it says a great deal about the state of Christianity in our nation at this juncture.

First, such a conversation should be centered on Jesus and a theology of trust in God for our nation's deepest needs. This is no longer the case in many churches or segments of evangelicalism today. Rather than a deep trust in God, our deepest trust is in a political system and getting the right president (as you define that), the right Supreme Court Justices, the right Speaker of the House, or what have you. 

This is an upside-down theology that bears little resemblance to any teaching about politics in the New Testament or the Old. At a very young age, I learned the verses in Proverbs that say, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

When you cannot even have a conversation about politics, it is clear that something is amiss among God's people. This is not—at its base—a conversation about the two parties (although some make it so). It is a theological conversation about where our trust is, and that is a fundamental principle of the Christian faith. Evidently, we cannot even agree on this core principle. 

Scripture defines idolatry as any person, entity, or security that takes a higher place than God in our lives. This situation points to idolatry among God's people, and the idol here is politics—or perhaps a political savior. No subject should keep us from having a conversation as Christians, and when there is one, it points to a deeper issue that we cannot discuss in a way that keeps Jesus and the Gospel at the center. That is telling, and that is a problem.

A Christian worldview should allow us to have deep conversations about the place of Jesus and the teaching of Scripture in all parts of our lives. It seems that we don't have a worldview that allows that anymore. Politics has trumped Jesus and theology. They are now subject to the election outcome, not above politics, as Scripture teaches. 

I am reminded of Psalm 2 where the Psalmist speaks of the rulers of the nations who take their stand against God. "The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them. Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill" (Psalm 2:4-6). 

God is not subject to our politics. He is sovereign over all. But I guess we are unable to talk about that today. Probably because many of us don't actually believe it. 

I don't recognize much of what passes for evangelicalism today. This is one example, but I challenge people to consider what this means from a theological perspective. Politics has become an idol, a source of division among God's people, and a source of security it was never meant to be and never can be. Those are all theological issues.

Leadership coaching, governance/board training, staff/culture audits, management, conflict management, establishing clarity, creating healthy cultures, leadership, and organizational consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

The one thing that is often missing on governance boards is courage

Having worked with various boards for decades, I have concluded that courage is the most missing element on boards. Without courage, boards do not confront realities that threaten the organization, dysfunctional and toxic cultures, leaders who lead poorly, church bullies who sow division in congregations, and substandard results. 

Rather than courage, boards are more often driven by fear: fear of challenging a leader, fear of calling out toxicity, fear of addressing substandard results, fear of candid conversation, and fear of naming the elephants in the room that everyone knows are present. They also fear losing what they perceive to be a good reputation and fear of conflict. 

When boards ignore apparent issues in the organization they represent, they are often preserving an image rather than solving organizational problems. Think about that. Image control is a higher priority than solving the real issues in the organization. Ultimately, that is about the board members who want to be seen as leading a healthy organization, so their genuine concern is not the organization's health but their own reputation.

In fact, what often happens is that there is a lonely individual on the board who dares to speak candidly. Those individuals are more often than not marginalized and ignored because they are rocking the boat by asking hard questions and speaking candidly.

Here is the thing: Board members usually know these issues exist. They do, But rather than discussing it, they ignore the issues because they are afraid to talk about and deal with them out of fear! Or to preserve the "peace" and avoid conflict. Or, as noted above, try to preserve their own reputation. All of these are selfish and self serving reasons not to address known issues. And self-serving is the exact opposite of what those who govern are to be about, which is the welfare, health, direction, and success of the organization they lead.

In a book by that title, Edwin Friedham calls this phenomenon A Failure of Nerve. He is right, and it is endemic on boards. 

In my many years of working with boards, I have often been called in by a board to address problems they had known were present but had ignored. In many cases, with the help of a third party, they finally dared to deal with long-standing issues. In some cases, even with the help of a third party who pointed out the obvious to them, they still refused to deal with the issue—out of fear! 

In the selection process for board members, it is not enough to have good or smart people. They must also be willing to speak candidly, challenge the status quo, look honestly at what is going on in the organization, and deal with those things that must be dealt with. They need to be people of courage, along with wisdom and discernment.

Here is an exercise that can help your board get to issues that are being ignored. Have them read this article along with the prior two blogs and then ask these questions with the responses written on a whiteboard:

• What issues have we been afraid to talk about?
• What do we know or suspect may not be right in the organization we represent that needs discussion and maybe remedial action?
• What have we been afraid to talk to the organization's leader about?
• What are the fears that have kept us from discussing these issues?
• What process can we agree to that will allow us to speak candidly about the issues we have identified?

You may need to do this in an executive session since these are issues that you have been afraid to talk about in the presence of the organization's leader. 

Do you have the courage to have a simple conversation like this? It could be a step toward a healthier board, healthier board members, and healthier organizations. Are you willing to have that kind of conversation? If not, you should step off the board you serve on.

Leadership coaching, governance/board training, staff/culture audits, change management, conflict management, establishing clarity, creating healthy cultures, leadership, and organizational consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

I wasted my time trying to help too many organizations that didn't really want to change.

It took me way too long to realize that, in too many cases, I was wasting my time trying to help organizations that said they wanted help but, in reality, did not. I don't intend to do that again.

Typically, I will get a call from an individual with an organization who says, "We need help." Often, I will meet with them and explain our process at The Addington Method, and they will say we need this really badly. 

But I have learned that in many cases, they didn't want help in the end. Let me explain and unpack the five questions I now ask before agreeing to help an organization.

One: Do you genuinely want candid feedback?

Almost everyone will say yes, but you quickly discover that the yes only applies to things they want to hear and not to the difficult things they need to hear. The problem is that we only grow when we are willing to listen to things we don't particularly want to hear. That is true in my life, and I suspect it is yours. We are human, and our egos don't like to be bruised, but until we are willing to choose humility over ego, we stay in the ruts that we are in. 

The only way forward is to be willing to accept candid feedback. No leader gets better without it. Those who resist it are wasting your time. They want to do something other than the hard stuff to grow. 

Two: Are you willing to listen to your staff?

In my work, I often conduct Culture Audits. These are one-hour conversations with open-ended questions designed to discover what is happening beneath the organization's surface. It is not unusual that when the results are shared, the people who asked for your help decide that the results—from their own staff—are inaccurate. Mainly because they are inconvenient.

Boards and leaders who do not take the feedback from their staff seriously are doomed to mediocrity. The irony is that in not wanting to accept that input or trying to make it disappear, the staff all know the truth anyway. They see it and live it every day. In addition, if leaders and boards are willing to listen, they can rectify the issues that staff raise and ultimately make the organization healthier and happier. 

When leaders or boards ignore staff feedback, they do so out of their insecurities and egos. A posture of humility and openness to staff experience is one of the greatest gifts leaders and boards can bring. 

If one is unwilling to listen to one's staff and their feedback, one does not really want help.

Three: How much do you want better organizational culture and health?

This is hard work. It demands introspection and a setting aside of our egos to achieve a better and healthier place. If one is only willing to do the easy part but not address the hard issues, one is not ready for this challenge. In order to achieve a better culture, you must deeply want to get there because the route there will be challenging.

Four: Are you willing to invest the time it will take to get to cultural transformation?

Transforming one's culture is not a microwaveable process. Your DNA is imprinted with past habits, attitudes, and ways of doing what you do. Cultural transformation can take several years, but it is deeply worth it. However, it requires focus, honesty, introspection, a willingness to change, and a long-term commitment to healthier and better practices.

Leaders enamored by short-term, flavor-of-the-month ideas may need more time to be ready to help lead cultural transformation, which is long-term work that requires significant patience and resolve. This work takes time, focus, and resolve. In one recent case I was involved in, I told the board that it would require at least a one-year intensive plan to change the toxicity of their organization. In their wisdom, they said, "We want it done in 90 days with executive coaching. Submit a new proposal to reflect that. I chose to step out, knowing they were not serious and that it would not work.

Five: Will you invest appropriate finances to get the help you need?

Important work takes time and requires a financial investment. Too often, organizations are unwilling to get help and make the necessary investments. They think they can handle it. Of course, the very reason they are talking to a consultant is that they have not been able to handle it. Every organization funds what is most important to them. If they are unwilling to fund becoming better and solving real organizational issues, it means that this is not important to them.

If your organization is in need of change or a healthier culture, ask these five questions. You are not serious or ready to move forward until you can genuinely say yes to all five. This is the work we do at The Addington Method, but not until we are convinced an organization is truly serious.

Boards that ignore the obvious and allow toxic behaviors to flourish

The classic book on governance boards is "Boards That Make a Difference" by John Carver. I have encountered some boards that make a huge difference because of their careful governance. But what stands out for me after decades of consulting with boards is the number of boards that ignore the obvious, allow toxic behaviors to flourish in the organization they represent, and look the other way when leaders create toxic cultures and hurt multiple members of their staff with impunity.

A fundamental truth is that boards oversee organizations, and as the highest authority in the organization they oversee, they are ultimately responsible for its health and well-being—not because they manage the organization but because they oversee its leader.

But here is the dirty little secret of many boards. They don't hold the senior leader accountable for the health of the organization and frequently overlook and ignore what is actually taking place in the organization they represent. 

This begs the question of why? In one recent case where I conducted a Culture Audit of a staff of 70 individuals on the East Coast last year, the results painted a picture of massive toxicity. The transcripts of those interviews included 850 pages, and the findings were mind-blowing in their dysfunction. When I shared the results with the board heads nodded up and down in agreement as if to say, we suspected as much. Yet the board did almost nothing to address the toxicity but rather went into a protective mode to ensure that the institution involved looked good to the public rather than became good in its culture. 

The same can be said for many church boards that ignore massive toxicity generated by a senior leader whose narcissistic tendencies leave a pile of bodies on the side of the road for years, creating untold hurt and pain for numerous staff. Rather than holding the leader involved accountable, they often circle the wagons to "protect the wonderful ministry that is taking place." 

In both cases, staff are deeply hurt, but more importantly, their boards have empowered dysfunctional and toxic leaders to flourish at the expense of the staff they oversee. 

Let me make several observations. 

One: boards that make a difference are made up of people who have the courage to call out dysfunction and hold leaders accountable. In fact, the best boards empower leaders and hold them accountable for the health and productivity of the organization they lead. Leaders who are empowered but not held accountable are dangerous leaders who create toxic cultures.

Two: Healthy boards never substitute success at the expense of a healthy culture. Healthy cultures create healthy staff, and the opposite is equally true. Unhealthy leaders create unhealthy work and organizational cultures. For any organization, this is unacceptable. In the end, only healthy cultures can create long-term healthy results, and good board members know this and insist on it. 

Three: Healthy boards are not afraid of the truth. They want to know the true state of affairs in their organization and find ways to gauge its health or dishealth. Unhealthy boards are more concerned about the public image, while healthy boards are more concerned about the true state of affairs within the organization. Time after time, I have encountered boards that intentionally chose to ignore what was obvious to staff and others to protect a public image. 

Four: The whole premise of a healthy board is to empower healthy leaders, to hold leaders accountable for how they lead, and, if necessary, to take remedial action against leaders who consistently violate their leadership trust. Yet this fails to be the case all too often.

In one organization I worked with, two loved leaders had been summarily fired by their senior leader. In meeting with the board I discovered that six other leaders had been fired or chose to leave in the preceding several years. I asked if they had done an exit interview with those leaders, and they said no. So, I contacted each of them and heard a common story of abuse at the hands of a toxic leader. This board had failed in its duty to understand what was going on and to hold their leader accountable. In the end, both the board and the senior leader resigned. As they should have. 

The greatest failure I see with boards today is failing to define what is critically important for their organization and failing to hold their leaders accountable for moving the organization forward toward its preferred future in the context of a healthy culture. 

There is never any excuse for boards that ignore the obvious and allow toxic behaviors to flourish—not Ever! Yet it happens all the time, and those who get hurt are usually the organization's staff. This is inexcusable, wrong, and sad. The victims are the staff who have no recourse as their leader is often the one creating the toxicity and a board that willingly looks the other way because they are unwilling to confront it. 

There are way too many boards that don't make a difference, and that is a leadership failure.

Ten recognizable elements of healthy organizational culture

Organizational culture is not abstract. If it is healthy, it always includes these ten elements. These elements are easily recognizable when present and equally when absent. As you think about the culture in your organization, which of these do you recognize and which are weak or missing?

High clarity around everything that matters. Clarity is the foundation for all healthy cultures. Clarity around who we are, what we are about, where we are going, how we are going to get there, and what our culture must be to reach our preferred future. Clarifying your preferred future is critical because it is the goal that all strategic efforts of the organization must point towards.

Alignment of all staff around that clarity. Without clarity, you cannot have alignment. Once clarity is determined, staffing, programs, plans, and efforts can be aligned to that clarity. Lack of staff alignment is often a symptom of a lack of clarity because, in the absence of clarity, people make up their own clarity, resulting in competing visions rather than a single vision.

Healthy culture throughout the organization. If there are areas of dishealth in the organization, a Culture Audit can uncover them and allow them to be addressed. This is critical to developing a healthier culture as it is the unspoken “elephants” in any organization that sabotages their efforts to become healthier. You cannot have pockets of dishealth that are unaddressed and be a healthy organization.

Contrarian thinking. This is about helping staff think “outside the box” and understand that conventional wisdom is always conventional but not always wisdom. Organizations that desire to leverage themselves for maximum impact encourage innovative thinking and solutions that challenge the way things have been done before. This counterbalances the pitfall of “If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got” syndrome. This starts with a culture where any issue can be put on the table except for a personal attack or a hidden agenda.  Learning a “nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide” attitude where egos are set aside for the common good of the organization changes everything.

A passion for people. Healthy organizations care about their people. They create environments where people thrive and not simply survive. They invite their staff in as active participants, eliminate silos, politics, and turf wars, and ensure that people are in a lane consistent with their wiring and gifts and have the tools they need to accomplish their work.

Intentionality and high accountability. Both intentionality and accountability are only possible with high clarity. With clarity and a description of the preferred future, there can be intentionality in moving in the direction of that preferred future. This also allows for accountability because there is clarity around the role that each plays. Healthy organizations are deeply intentional in their work and create cultures of high accountability.

Metrics that matter. What is measured is what gets paid attention to. It is critical to measure everything that is important to an organization and to find the right metrics to do so. Both soft and hard metrics are important when it comes to culture, and both should be tracked. If it is important, it should have metrics attached to it.

Scalable systems. Healthy organizations build healthy systems so that they do not need to reinvent the way they do what they do and can build on and strengthen those healthy systems. While people often get blamed when things go wrong, it is often true that it was not a people problem but a system problem that has not been well through. Proper systems allow an organization to grow and scale, while faulty systems hold them back.

Return on mission and vision. This is what all organizations should be about. We exist to create value for our customers and those who work in the organization. Healthy organizations are able to identify their return on mission as well as their return on investment. This can be a huge motivator for those who work with you.

Sustainability over the long term. The goal is to have an organization that is learning, growing, getting better, and achieving its goals over the long term. This is all possible if the previous nine elements are in place.

 Leadership coaching, governance/board training, staff/culture audits, change management, conflict management, establishing clarity, creating healthy cultures, leadership, and organizational consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Creating a Culture of Grace and Eliminating the Scourge of Gossip, Slander, and Judgementalism in your Congregation.

 

The damage that gossip, slander, and judgementalism do to our congregations and those within them (perpetrators and victims) is incalculable. I outline some of these impacts in Gossip and Slander, the Scourage of many Churches. 

What many church leaders do not understand is that they can actually create a culture where these spiritually damaging behaviors are not practiced in their congregations. This is a roadmap for moving toward a healthier church culture.

First, a note about culture. Culture is what you create or allow. In other words, whatever you allow in your congregation will become part of your culture. The alternative is to intentionally create a God-honoring culture and disallow behaviors that are antithetical to God's character, the fruit of the Spirit, and His teaching. 

In many places, the New Testament makes distinctions between behaviors we are to eliminate from our lives and those we are to practice. For instance, in Ephesians 4 and 5, we are told to eliminate falsehood, stealing, unwholesome talk, bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, malice, unforgiveness, sexual immorality, impurity, greed, foolish talk, coarse joking, and other behaviors that emanate from our lower nature. 

Rather than these, we are to put on truthfulness, forgiveness, love, kindness, and compassion, become imitators of God who live in love, wise living, speaking those things that build others up, unity, humility, gentleness, and peace. 

Paul wants us to declare certain behaviors illegal in the church because they don't reflect Christ and to focus on those that do. This is how you create culture. You call people to a higher standard and are clear on those things he wants us to eliminate and those he wants us to practice.

Disciplemaking churches are clear about behaviors that they will not tolerate. They are equally clear on a culture of grace and obedience. This takes ongoing attention, teaching, and explanation. For instance, when it comes to gossip, people need to understand:

• It does not please God
• It is a form of character assassination
• When we have an issue with someone else, we go to them directly and not to others
• Our words can heal, or they can hurt
• We don't do gossip and slander in our congregation
• We do use a Matthew 18 approach when we have differences
• We live in a culture of grace and extend that grace to others
• We allow the Holy Spirit to convict people of their sins (and ours)
• We will talk to those who traffic in gossip and slander within our congregation

The amazing thing is that you can dramatically eliminate divisive gossip and slander if you are intentional, remind people often, and are clear about how we live with one another. What happens is that you create an expectation of Jesus honoring behavior, and the public nature of your "culture creation" makes it difficult for those who traffic in gossip and slander to do so, as it violates everyone's understanding of who we are and how we love one another.

Think of what it would be like if you attended a church where:

• We accept one another and one another's shortcomings as Jesus does ours
• We are as patient with one another as Jesus is with us
• We speak words that build rather than words that tear down
• We love others as Jesus loves us
• We forgive others as Jesus forgives us
• We major on the Fruit of the Spirit rather than the fruit of our lower nature
• We do all that we can to live in peace and unity with one another

Those churches do exist, although not in the number they should. The reason is that we do not create culture but simply allow culture to happen. Don't do that. Remember that culture is what you create or allow, and the Scriptures give us great guidance on what we should not allow and what we should create. 

Gossip and Slander: the Scourge of many Churches

 

Congregations pride themselves in "being like Jesus." Yet, in many congregations, there is a willingness to overlook one of the most divisive and disruptive behaviors of all. It is not heresy. It is gossip and slander.

Gossip and slander are not having a difference of opinion. Everyone is entitled in the church to differences of opinion. Gossip and slander assassinate the character of another individual. You can kill a person physically - something we would never do in the church. But we seem skilled at killing another's character at will and without any consequence. 

Gossip is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as: "casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true."

Slander is defined as "the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation." Or to "make false and damaging statements about (someone)."

The reason that gossip and slander are so often linked together is that when we engage in gossip, especially when we share details that we cannot confirm as being true, we are often engaging in slander as well. Trafficking in second-hand information where we have no redeeming purpose for sharing such information is an anti-value in the church.

Gossip is often the result of an issue with another without the courage to go and have a conversation with that individual. So rather than seeking to resolve our issue with a specific person, we instead talk to others about them. In doing so, we drag innocent bystanders into our issues, and they often take up our cause with no first-hand knowledge of our issues. Now, we have recruited additional character assassinators for our cause. And, we have left the individual who is our target without any means to explain, defend, or bring reconciliation as they are not even part of the process. 

In one church I am familiar with at present, there is a concerted effort by one couple who is at odds with the pastor (and the board) to bring disrepute to the pastor. They have recruited many close friends to their cause, and the charges against the pastor can be traced back to this one couple. In another church, there have been armchair critics for years in the shadows, sowing mistrust and discord against whoever was in leadership at the moment. 

These situations are an internal cancer in any church. The New Testament is explicit that gossip, slander, and anything that does not build up the body is anti-Christ behavior. In addition, Paul warns against those who cause division in the church. Certainly, gossip and slander cause division, mistrust, ill feelings, and deep hurt to those who are the targets. To make matters worse, many who traffic in gossip do so under the guise of "we need to pray for _____ about." In other words, they hide their gossip by declaring their spiritual intent, which is total nonsense and probably not well received by Jesus Himself. 

The church is ill-served by professional Pharisees who love to snipe at others about lifestyle choices, dress, and any number of personal choices. How in the world can we expect new folks to feel comfortable in our midst when the critical Pharisiacle spirits are allowed to run rampant among us. Gossip is one of the most prevalent reasons that people do not feel safe in the local church. This is also why spiritual formation is such a challenge. How can you do true spiritual formation in a culture where gossip and backstabbing are OK?

Culture is what we create or allow. If we allow gossip in our body, we are allowing behavior that the New Testament strongly condemns. The alternative is to create a culture where gossip is not OK and where the expectation is that we deal with differences in a Matthew 18 manner. And that we learn what it means to live in the same grace with one another as Jesus grants to each of us on a daily basis. Think of the difference in our relationships if that were true. 

For some suggestions on how to create a culture of grace and eliminate gossip and slander from your congregation, see Creating a Culture of Grace and Eliminating the Scourge of Gossip, Slander, and Judgementalism in your Congregation. 

It is all about focus

 

Eight signs that your church is on the downward slope of its life cycle

 

Every organization has a life cycle that includes initial growth and accomplishing its original vision. Once that vision is completed, the organization starts to plateau, and unless it can reenvision for the next ministry run, it goes into a long, slow decline. This plateau and decline are often not recognized because, like the frog in the kettle, it can be subtle, and the collective memory of the organization is its former glory days that members mistakenly think still define them. 

There are key signs that a church is on the downward slope of its life cycle. Here are eleven such indicators.

There is no clear definition of who the church is or where it is going. Lack of clarity is a sign that an organization is in significant jeopardy. A church that cannot clarify who it is and where it is going will simply wander without a missional agenda or clear purpose. By clarity, I am not referring to something defined in the bylaws that no one can remember but a compelling mission, clear guiding principles, a defined culture, and an understanding of what we are about every day. If staff cannot clearly articulate this and if the congregation does not understand it, there is not adequate clarity. 

The church lacks internal alignment. This is a natural result of a lack of clarity. Without clarity, different staff and ministries of the church simply do their own thing without any internal cohesion and often at cross purposes with other ministries. This allows individuals and staff to pursue their agenda rather than a common and aligned agenda of the church. Any time a ministry cannot answer the question: "How does this ministry contribute to the mission and goals of the church as a whole," it lacks alignment.

No one asks hard questions, or if they do, they are marginalized. In healthy, vibrant organizations, challenging questions are welcomed because they help the organization stay on its mission. When one can no longer ask those hard questions without being marginalized, it is a sign that the organization is now in a preservation mode rather than a growth mode. 

There is a steady leak of people out the back door. People often leave a church when they sense there is no longer a compelling mission and vision. They usually go quietly, but when people who have previously been engaged leave and it becomes a trend, take notice.

The church guards its money. Healthy churches tend to be generous, while those who have moved from missional to institutional tend to protect their resources, and a scarcity mentality sets in.

Meetings and bureaucracy replace action and outward-focused ministry. In their growth phases, congregations are outward-focused, while in their plateaued or declining phases, they tend to be inward and self-focused. As this happens, congregations make it hard to start new outward-looking ministries. 

The congregation and its leaders are comfortable. Comfort means that change is resisted, the familiar is embraced, innovation is difficult and rare, and the focus becomes far more internal than external. This is an essential indicator because missional churches value ministry results over personal comfort, while the opposite is true when a church has plateaued or is on a downward slope.

There is a collective memory of the congregation's "best days." For people who have been around for a time, there is a memory of the period when the church was at its best and perhaps its most significant. What is interesting is that these same people often believe that this is who they still are. They need to recognize that the times have changed, ministry opportunities have changed, the neighborhood has often changed, and they need to change. In reality, they live in the past rather than the present or the future.

While organizational life cycles are predictable, one does not need to settle for a plateau or a downward slope. To change the game, however, leaders must reenvision the congregation for the next ministry season and live opposite of the eight indicators listed above. Churches that remain vital and healthy:

• Have a clear vision and mission
• Insist on the internal alignment of all ministries around that vision and mission.
• Invite hard questions to challenge the way things are done and help the organization get better.
• Close their back door and find out why people leave
• Are generous with meeting needs outside the church
• Are outward ministry-focused rather than internally focused
• Intentionally live in the uncomfortable ministry zone rather than the comfort zone
• Rather than live in the past, they honor the past but plan for the future

Most of all, the focus is always on the Gospel, a culture of love and grace, and a deep concern for the hurting and those who don't know Jesus. 

Can one live at peace in a fractious, conflictual and chaotic world?

 

In the Gospels, Jesus makes a profound statement. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid." John 14:27. 

As I survey the evangelical landscape today, I see much fear and little true peace. Just listen to the conversations taking place around you - among God's people. Fear of what will happen to the economy. Fear of the immigrants coming across our border. Fear of the party you didn't vote for. Fear of dark conspiracies in our world and people that are going to destroy our world. Fear that the wrong person will be elected in the upcoming election. Fear of the world our children and grandchildren will grow up in.

There is a whole lot of fear and very little peace among God's people, and that leaves me wondering why? Was Jesus naive about our world? Could He have truly been offering peace in today's world? The thing is that Jesus makes a radical distinction between His peace and the peace the world has to offer. He says, "My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives."

The world's definition of peace is the absence of threats to our happiness, which is a rare thing and lasts for a short time.  The peace of Jesus has nothing to do with threats to our happiness or security. It is different and supernatural precisely because He offers it no matter what our circumstances and no matter the external threats. And, He says that it is a peace that allows one to live without fear and keep our hearts from being troubled.

How can that be? We have forgotten today, as God's people often do, that God's peace exists in the person of Jesus Christ. When we focus on Him: His power, His provision, and faith in His ability to provide for our needs and give us His joy no matter our circumstances and place ourselves in His hands, we will have peace. Not only do we not need to live in fear, but He specifically commands us: "Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid."

Fear or peace is a matter of focus. If we focus on all the threats around us, real and imagined, we will live in fear. If we focus instead on the One who authors history, we can live in peace. He is, after all, the creator of our world and ultimately in control of the events around us. We are not, but He is. 

I have determined this year to spend far more time reading His Word than listening to the news, which is often ugly, discouraging, and a creator of fear. Try spending just an hour reading the Psalms, for instance, and see what it does for your soul. 

If fear is a real part of our lives, it is an indicator that our focus is in the wrong place. I want to cultivate habits and practices that create peace and joy based on the One who can give these precious commodities. The moment I start to live in fear, I take that as a reminder that my focus has shifted away from Jesus.

What habits and practices are you cultivating to make His peace a part of your life? And ask yourself if you are driven more by fear or by peace? 

The church stage, staff culture and leadership boardroom: Two of the three are indicators of culture in a church

The church stage on Sunday mornings often does not reflect the true nature of a church's culture. One wishes it always was because the stage is a put-together, friendly presentation of the church's persona. The only issue is that it is often not a true persona of who the church is. When it is, it is a beautiful thing. Sometimes it is not. The stage says this is who we are - please believe us.

The stage is a church at its best in many ways. But, the authentic culture of a church is not found on stage - that can be manufactured just like all the happy families who come in the doors after fighting with one another on the way to church. The true nature of a church's culture is found in the everyday relationships of staff: how they treat one another, speak about one another, support and cooperate with one another, resolve or don't resolve conflict, and the level of politics, silos, and turf wars (per Lencioni) that exist. 

How staff are treated by leaders and how they treat one another tells the story of church culture better than anything else. Healthy cultures have healthy relationships and are full of individuals with healthy EQ. The fruit of the Spirit is evident and easily found. Gossip and backbiting are rare. Conflict is resolved in healthy ways, and there is freedom on staff to speak one's mind, and candid dialogue is encouraged. This is a true sign of a healthy church culture. I don't assume anything from the stage presentation when working with a church. Instead, I press into staff relationships. And I don't rely on the word of the senior leader but instead, ask questions of the staff themselves. 

Staff retention speaks volumes, while a pattern of staff leaving - whether resigning or being let go - says something else. I once asked a church board who had retained me to determine why the senior pastor had just fired two beloved staff members if they had interviewed any of the many staff who had left in the past five years, and they all looked down sheepishly. So, I interviewed them myself and heard a familiar story. On the other hand, where staff stay long and remain engaged in their job with one another and others, you know that there is usually good DNA at work.

I often conduct staff audit interviews with all staff with open-ended questions. Very quickly, common themes emerge that speak to staff culture's health or dishealth. This is valuable information for churches desiring to improve the staff's health.

A third indicator of a healthy or unhealthy culture is the leadership board of a church. I often speak to individuals recruited to serve on a church board who entered that job with optimism and energy, only to be disillusioned by what they found. They often encounter boards that don't speak candidly, allowing elephants to exist in the boardroom that everyone knows are there. Still, it is not OK to talk about them, gloss over issues that ought to be examined and discussed, and a significant lack of clarity about who the church is and where it is headed. The closer you get to the core of leadership, the closer you are to a church's authentic culture. 

There are notable exceptions of healthy boards that operate in healthy ways. This is the exception rather than the rule, however. Boards are not trained in healthy governance, are reticent to address known issues, and are often either passive or ultra-involved depending on the season, with little in between. One thing is usually true: board health often reflects staff health. Where there is dysfunction on staff, there is usually dysfunction on the board, which is why the staff dysfunction is allowed to exist and flourish.

I long for church staff and boards to have the same joy, spiritual presence, and professionalism found on stage each Sunday morning. If that is true in your church, I congratulate you. Often, though, the authentic culture of a congregation is not found on stage. 

The Culture Series: Which of these descriptors describes your organization?

 

Does culture matter in an organization? Contrast the elements of good culture against dysfunctional culture below and ask yourself, which kind of culture do I want to be a part of? Then ask yourself how many elements of healthy culture are true of your organization.

Healthy Culture                                                   Dysfunctional Culture

I am appreciated                                           I feel used

I feel listened to                                            My views are dismissed or marginalized

I have a voice                                                I have no voice

I am empowered                                           I am micromanaged

I can engage in candid dialogue                   Candid dialogue has strict limits

Relationships are collegial                           Relationships are often unhealthy  

My boss knows how to apologize                My boss is always right

Company information is transparent           Company information is tightly controlled

My supervisor dialogues with me               My supervisor tells me

My supervisor shows he/she cares              My supervisor has little knowledge of me

I have input into important decisions          I have no voice in important decisions

My supervisor is patient and gracious        My supervisor is unkind and harsh

The company compensates fairly               The company is stingy in compensation

There is virtually no gossip                        The organization is full of gossip

Healthy teams are the norm                       There are a lot of dysfunctions on teams

There is clarity around our mission           There is ambiguity around our mission

We practice our defined values                 Our defined values are often violated

We have alignment on important things  There is little alignment

Conflict is rare and resolved                      Conflict is the norm and unresolved

Ethics and honesty are high                       Ethics and honesty are slippery

The Bully Series: When the Bully is a church board member

 

Sometimes, the church bully or church boss is a church board member. I have dealt with these situations, and how do you confront someone who has authority in the church but is misusing that authority? In this series, we have cataloged the damage that a church bully can perpetuate so we know that it matters. Generally, a church bully is able, through intimidation and bad behavior, to exercise veto power over important decisions in the church and to ensure that they get their way regardless of the will of the majority. This abrogates the choice of other leaders and often of the congregation itself. 

Church boards often function in dysfunctional ways, which works to the advantage of a church bully. So, the critical factor in dealing with dysfunction on the board is ensuring that it operates as healthy as possible. This starts with a board covenant. Never allow a church board to exist without a board covenant that defines how it will work together. See a sample board covenant in my Blog; operate without a board covenant at your own risk! 

A critical factor in any healthy board is a commitment to candid dialogue where any issue can be put on the table, except a hidden agenda or personal attack. Church bullies love the fact that board members won't speak up and won't confront. But we always should. I am constantly amazed at the number of issues that boards know exist but remain unmentioned in their deliberations because it might create friction. So we ignore the obvious and allow the huge elephants to stay in the room unattended to. 

Many interviews were conducted in a culture audit in one church I worked with some years ago. These included staff, deacons, trustees, and people deeply involved in ministry. While many issues surfaced because of poor church leadership, the one outstanding theme was a lack of trust in the senior leader to lead the church forward. All interviewees were key leaders in the church. The board did not want to deal with it, and in this case, the Pastor was the bully who intimidated anyone who got in his way, and I resigned from working with the church. Time will tell if this board will lead more healthily, but this story is familiar. They were complicit in allowing a church bully to hurt many people. Unfortunately, it is a common issue.

In my blog, 15 Things a Church Board should not do, I outline some board behaviors that mitigate against a healthy church board. The bottom line is that the healthier a board, the less likely a bully can exist on the board and get his/her way. Healthy boards operate in ways that create clarity, accountability, and group decision-making. No one person can have veto power, and poor behavior is called out. 

In every instance where I have encountered bullies on a board, it was dysfunctional and unhealthy so they could have a platform in that venue. So, the way to deal with a bully on the board is to bring your board to a healthier place in its practices. My book, High Impact Church Boards, can guide you to that healthy place. 

It takes courage and fortitude to sit on a church board. You must be willing to call out poor behavior and challenge pockets of power that keep others from having a voice. Dysfunctional church boards with a power player can be toxic places to serve. Appeal to the reasonable voices on the board to move the board to a healthier place. And don't be shy about getting outside help to strengthen your board health and practices.  

Blogs in this series:

How to spot a bully in the church

When church boards don't confront church bullies

Confronting bad behaviors of church bullies

When the Pastor is the bully

The close connection between narcissism and bully behaviors in the church

When the bully is a church board member

The Bully Series: The close connection between narcissism and bully behaviors in the church

 

Bully behaviors in the church, whether from a board member, a pastor, or others in the congregation, are usually narcissistic behaviors. A bully wants his/her own way and will use whatever means possible to achieve their goals. This can include manipulation, creating leadership division, gossip, slander, passive-aggressive behaviors, threats, and intimidation. All of these are classic narcissistic behaviors. And when confronted, they will play the victim and claim they are being mistreated. It is also why, if confronted, they will often run. Bullies and narcissists don't like accountability and seek to avoid it at all costs. 

A friend left his comment on Facebook on an earlier article in this series. "We dealt with a bully in our life group recently. We made it very clear that the behavior was not acceptable. We were very willing to walk through it with her if she desired to change. She left the group. We shared this with our church leadership so they would be aware. When she repeated the behavior with others, the leaders confronted her. She left the church. Repentance and healing was our main goal, but it was clear that was not hers. The results were a blessing to all." This is not an uncommon outcome because bullies hate and avoid accountability. This is classic narcissistic behavior.

I shared several reasons that boards do not deal with bullies in the church, but there is one reason that I did not cover. We simply cannot believe these people we know would have impure motives. After all, they are Christians! Their motives must be good! 

When we think that way in the face of toxic behaviors, we must wake up and smell the coffee. You need not judge motives, but you can always judge behaviors. Narcissistic behavior or bullying hurts people and organizations, and the church is meant to be a place of healing and unity. To give people a pass on behaviors that violate the Fruit of the Spirit, demand their own way, and use intimidation and underhanded tactics to achieve that is sinful, destructive, and evil. Yet church boards give such behaviors a pass regularly. The result is that people get hurt, deeply wounded, often leave the church, and sometimes abandon it because of the terrible behaviors they encountered among God's people. 

Regardless of how long the offending individual(s) have been in your church or how spiritual their language (I call it God talk), when bully behavior is present along with the toxic behaviors listed above, do not give it a pass! If you do, you are giving them free access to hurt people - God's people - which is not OK. When you do that, you become complicit in their behavior. So now, the very people who are charged in Scripture with protecting God's people become complicit in allowing them to be hurt instead. You cannot teach from the pulpit Godly behaviors and allow the opposite to exist within the congregation because you are unwilling to call it out! 

Narcissistic behavior is the polar opposite of the humility Jesus himself exhibited and teaches us to exhibit in our lives. Humility is like Jesus. Pride, arrogance, and narcissism reflect the Evil One, not Jesus. So when we give it a pass, we are platforming the Evil One in the same church where we teach Jesus and His character. How can that be? On the one hand, you teach people the nature of God and the Fruit of the Spirit; on the other hand, you allow the opposite to create cancer in the church! These are opposing cultures, and you destroy the culture you seek to make in the church. 

Where there is a bully in the church who is creating chaos with their tactics, and the board refuses to deal with it, and it is long-standing, I have counseled pastors caught in the mess to leave. The board is allowing someone to destroy what they are trying to build from the Scriptures, and the two cultures cannot co-exist. But if you confront the behaviors and stick to your guns as Paul did in his letters to the churches in the New Testament, you can root out the rot. But that takes courage. If you are in leadership, I hope you will have that courage when faced with narcissistic behaviors and church bullies.

Blogs in this series:

How to spot a bully in the church

When church boards don't confront church bullies

Confronting destructive behaviors of church bullies

When the Pastor is the bully

The close connection between narcissism and bully behaviors in the church

When the bully is a church board member