Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Monday, September 17, 2018

Do you have a book in you that is just waiting to be published?



Today it is easier than ever to publish a book. So if you have a non- fiction book that is waiting to get out, I would love to talk with you. I can help you in each step of the process including:





Concepting
                           Writing                            

Editing
Design
Copyrighting
Publishing
Distribution

As the author of 5 books and four in process I have a passion to see others share their wisdom. 



You may also be the leader of a business, church, ministry or non-profit and want to codify who you are, tell your story and inspire both staff and customers. We can help you with that as well. 

You may contact me at 615.840.1676 or tjaddington@gmail.com. I look forward to talking with you.



Whose perspective do you have in mind today? Yours or God's?


"...you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s."
Jesus to Peter, Mark 8:33

In this passage, Peter makes a perfectly reasonable statement. Jesus has been talking about his death and Peter said, "Hey Jesus, don't talk that way - you are the Christ - why talk about death?' (ok I am speculating on what Peter actually said but we know he rebuked Jesus for his words). You and I would no doubt have felt the same way whether we said it out loud or not.

In Jesus' reply to Peter he says, "Look, there are two kinds of interests here: Man's and God's. And you, Peter are not thinking of God's interests but man's. My interests are different than your interests (my paraphrase)." This is an interesting statement and one that each of us ought to consider in our own thinking and decision making.

In the Lord's prayer we pray, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." With those words we are again making the distinction that God's interests are not the same as man's interests in many cases. Consider:
  • I have a preferred future for my life but so does God. His plan is to see me become like Him and join Him in His work. He is more interested in helping me develop His character than He is in my success (by the world's definition).
  • The code of morality in our society is often very different from God's. Honesty, truth, fairness and integrity are paramount to God's character but are often peripheral matters to those around us. Often getting to where we want to go is more important than how we get there.
  • We are always up to something but so is God. And what He is up to is far more important than what we are up to. Joining Him in His work in our world is the path to life significance and meaning.
Jesus' point to Peter is one worth considering.  On any given day we are faced with all kinds of decisions, priorities and choices. In all of those we should be aware that God's interests may be different than ours. And we ought to consider the question: Is my decision based on my interests or His?

One other thing. The interests of God may seem foolish to those around us at times. The plan of God for the crucifixion certainly seemed crazy and foolish and a failure of what Jesus was sent to do. Which is why Peter offered Jesus his (mistaken) perspective: "Get a grip Jesus, that's not a good plan." But as God says in Isaiah 55:8, My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. Followers of Christ seek to discern what His ways are because they are the right ways.






Thursday, September 13, 2018

Disturbing trends for Christianity in China

As China's president Xi Jinping continues to consolidate his power there are very troubling signs of the repression of the church. In recent days major house church movements have been banned, Churches have been told to replace pictures of Jesus with pictures of Xi Jinping, there is a plan to prevent on line ministries and China is seeking to restrict Christian activities with 26 new rules.

For an overview of these developments, read this article from Christianity Today


Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Dealing with the gut punch of discouragement


Discouragement is an affliction all of us deal with as life throws us curveballs that hurt, create anxiety and complications. Life is not fair and has never been fair, living in a fallen and complicated world. And sometimes the bad news bunches up and comes all at once. It can be like a gut punch that leaves our minds in a knot for days. 

There are many who believe that as followers of Jesus we should not experience pain, sickness, poverty, or other realities of life in this world. But what do you make of Jesus’ words, “In this world you will have trouble.” That is a defining statement—and one that all of us know to be true. There will come a day when God will redeem this sinful, fallen, and troubled world, but that day is yet to come. In the meantime, we live with the results of the rebellion against God in the garden.

At the same time, Jesus says, “in me you may have peace.” You won’t escape trouble, suffering, hardship, pain, hurt, difficulty, but “in me you may have peace,” in spite of those things. That is a game changer! How many people do you know who have a sense of peace in the middle of their pain or suffering? I know a few, and their sense of peace in the midst of their difficulty is a magnet to others who want to know where that peace comes from.

How then do we deal with very real pain and discouragement? First, acknowledge that the pain and hardship is real and that life is not fair. Bad stuff that is beyond our control happens.

Second, pray for the peace of Christ in the midst of the situation. Even before we ask God to resolve our difficulties, we need to experience His peace based on His promise, His goodness and His presence in our lives. If He is good and if He is faithful and if He is with us and has our lives in His hand we can trust him in the middle of our situation.

Third, ask God to intervene. He has the ability to do what we cannot do: change hearts; minds; situations and circumstances. He may not answer as fast as we desire or in the way we desire but He will answer in a way that glorifies Himself. Here is something to remember: We don't know when faced with trouble what God is up to - in us, in others or in His Kingdom work. But we can be sure that He is up to something that will bring Him glory. That also means that He is in control even when life seems out of control.

Finally, choose to live in trust that He will show us a way through in His time and in His way. We can live in anxiety which is exhausting. Or, we can live in His peace trusting Him with the outcome. This is a choice we make based on God's word and His promises. But that choice makes all the difference in our attitude today.



Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Comfort zones can also be danger zones



We all have a comfort zone. It is the place where we don’t need to worry much because we are living with the familiar. It is a nice place to be...but stay too long and our comfort turns to complacency and we lose our cutting edge. 

Leaving our comfort zone is not about adopting the common lifestyle of the hurried, harried, and overcommitted. That is a place of frustration, tiredness, and depletion. What I am suggesting is that there ought to be at least one area of our lives where we are pushing ourselves to learn, grow, and become all that God designed us to be. Those who stop growing become stale, and that staleness impacts all of their life.

Think through the major areas of your life: work, relationships, marriage, children, ministry; finances; spirituality. Which of those areas are in need of growth now? Are there any that are screaming for attention? If you could give a red (it is going badly), yellow (I could do better), or green (it is really good) to each of the areas mentioned, which would be red or yellow? Those can be good colors because they tell us where we can grow.

Even the Apostle Paul, at the end of his life, knew that he needed to press forward in growth. He writes, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward to Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:12-14).

When the other disciples were perfectly comfortable in their boat in the midst of a storm (where fishermen like to be), Peter got out to walk toward Jesus. He took a risk and learned the power of God. Where do you need to take a risk, leave your comfort zone, and go where you have not gone before? Start where you know you need to be. God has already probably told you in your heart where you need to take a step of faith. Get out of the boat and trust Him...and you will keep growing. 





Sunday, September 9, 2018

Staying away from those whose presence brings with it controversy, conflict and division


As you read the following description, think about whether you have met people like them. 

When they are present, they bring with them controversy, conflict and dissention. They seem to be most interested in themselves rather than in others and in their wake they leave broken relationships, confusion and people taking sides. They can be brilliant, visionary, persuasive and win the debate but when they are gone things get much more peaceful. You don't get the full affect of their presence until they are gone. 

Paul talks about these kinds of people in 1 Timothy 6:4-5. "He is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction..."

Whether clothed in great vision, God talk, or success, stay away from people whose presence creates envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction. Why? Because none of these character traits come from God. They come from selfish individuals and the Evil One, but not from the God of peace. They are not healthy!

Usually these individuals suffer from narcissism. The very fact that they are willing to create controversies and divisions is that they believe themselves right, want people to agree with them and marginalize those who don't. Often the conflict and division they bring revolves around them getting their way.

Healthy individuals are people of peace, are gracious, speak kindly, are not naturally suspicious and don't create strife. Nor do they divide people. In fact, they do all they can to bring people together.

I love to hang with the latter. I have learned not to hang with the former. One brings life and the other diminishes healthy relationships. And that raises the question of which category we fit into.








Friday, September 7, 2018

The benefits of acknowledging and embracing your weaknesses

















Successful people change in ways that allow them to continue to take advantage of their strengths while compensating for their weaknesses and unsuccessful people don't....beneficial change begins when you can acknowledge and even embrace your weaknesses.
Ray Dalio in Principles

I don't know anyone who does not embrace their strengths. All of us are good at some things and when we are operating in that sweet spot it is fulfilling and relatively easy. In fact, it is so easy "in the sweet spot" to forget that all strengths have a weak side and that if we don't understand, embrace and acknowledge our weak side, it can hijack our strengths!

So what are the benefits of acknowledging and embracing your weaknesses? 

Self Knowledge
Understanding ourselves is the single most important key to long term success. To often we assume that we know ourselves when in fact we know the up sides of who we are but intentionally or unintentionally ignore the down sides. This leads to a highly inaccurate understanding of who we really are which will get us into trouble at some point. 

I may be highly strategic and aggressive in my leadership role but if I don't also understand that I am also impatient with others and prone not to listen carefully there is likely to be a price to be paid. A thorough understanding of myself gives me the information I need to play to my strengths and be aware of my weaknesses which is the first step toward managing them. Remember that we often tend to exaggerate our strengths in our thinking and minimize our weaknesses. 

Appreciating others
Too often there can be a narcissistic tendency among those with strong gifts because they have achieved an element of success and start to believe their own press. In the process they devalue others who don't have the gifts they have. This is the opposite of what happens when we acknowledge and embrace our weaknesses.

In embracing our weaknesses we understand that we need others around us whose strengths are the complement and solution to our weaknesses. And our strengths to their weaknesses. This is the foundation of a healthy team and a deeper appreciation for others. I am great at the big picture and overall strategy but not always at the details. Where would I be without those who are brilliant with the details! 

The most successful people are not those who can do everything. They are those who can build a great team around needed skills that compensates for the weaknesses inherent in us all.

Managing our weaknesses
There is no possibility of dealing with our weaknesses unless we first acknowledge and embrace them. I don't believe that we can very often turn a weakness into a strength. Our strengths can be honed and developed because the hard wiring for that strength is part of who we are. However, we often have a need to grow in our areas of weakness so they don't hurt us and more often we must manage those weaknesses so that they don't hurt us or others. This is not possible unless we have an accurate picture of both our strengths and weaknesses. Together they describe who we are and who else we need around us.

Living in personal freedom
A trap that many of us fall into is that of the expectations of others and a personal need to prove that we are highly competent, successful people. This is why we often tout our strengths and ignore our weaknesses. Who wants to advertise their weaknesses?

Except, while we often ignore our down side, those around us already knows what they are. we fool ourselves perhaps but not others. We can live in denial while those around us know the emperor has no clothes! And usually that "pretending" on our part takes a toll. Why not embrace what others already know: Our areas of strength and our areas of weakness. There is freedom in honesty and freedom in not having to prove ourselves in areas where we cannot. And don't need to.

The journey to personal maturity is equally a journey of embracing and growing our strengths and of embracing and managing our weaknesses. The first without the second will not end well.