The Intentional Act of Lessening

The Intentional Act of Lessening

He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30

Who does your world revolve around? For most, the world revolves around me. Life is about us. We count the responses we get on Facebook, love to be recognized and want to be somebody. Often we are unconsciously in competition for position, maybe power, affirmation from others, and often recognition. When we don’t get our way we can feel robbed and diminished. 

This is not a new issue. In fact, there was a brief overlap in the ministries of John the Baptist and Jesus. Both were calling people to repentance and baptizing those who answered the call. After Jesus was baptized, many people gravitated away from John and toward Jesus and this became a source of consternation for John’s disciples who thought that John was not getting the recognition he deserved. They brought their concerns to John but his answer surprised them.

John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’ The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.”

John perfectly captures the relationship between us and God when He said “He must become greater; I must become less.” Not only that, but John says this brings him joy. In that one sentence, John captures the essence of the Christian life. Life is not about us but about Him. That is a radical statement in a world that seeks to focus all of life around us as the center of the universe. In a world where nearly everyone believes that life revolves around them, John says, Jesus must become greater and I must become less.

John is saying that his job is not to lift himself up but to lift up the name and reputation of Jesus. Life is not about me but about Him. He is God. He is my creator. He is the one who redeemed me. He died to bring me into His eternal family. He holds my life in His hand. 

Here is one of the ironies of life. When we try to make life about us we diminish God and our lives become poorer and less fulfilling. But when we choose to make God the center of our lives, we experience life as we have never known it. Life centered on us is a diminished life but life centered on God is fullness of life.

There is a reason for this. When God created mankind he made him for fellowship with Him. But when Adam and Eve sinned, there was something great that was lost. This is why their sin is called “the fall.” We all suffer from that fall. Mankind fell out of relationship with God and lost the most meaningful part of life. 

Solomon spoke of this in Ecclesiastes 3:9-11. “What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

Here is our dilemma. There is a hole in our hearts because we were made for God. He planted the seed of eternity in our heart and until we fill that place with Him, we live a diminished life. The more of Him we put into our lives and hearts, the more contentment and happiness we experience. Because life is really about Him and not us. In lessening our need to be at the center and placing Him at the center of our lives we experience true life. 

Here is how the Apostle Paul talks about the blessings we have in Christ. As you listen to this, think of the amazing gifts we have in Christ. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3-10).

These are just a few of the amazing gifts we have as children of God. As we make life about Him we experience a whole new life and find the satisfaction and meaning we desire in the deepest places of our heart.

How do we become less so that He can become greater in our lives? It is a matter of focus and intention. Do we give Him time in our day so that we find ways to connect with Him? Do we conform our lives to His teachings so that we are following Him rather than ourselves? For many of us, the problem is that we are too busy to connect with Him. Personal busyness is a symptom that life revolves around us. Carving out quality time with Him is a sign that we want our lives to revolve around Him.

As you walk through the 40 days of Lent, consider finding some extra time each day to spend with God.  Maybe reading a few verses each day and then applying them to your life. Extra time to spend in prayer with Him. The more we focus on Him rather than on ourselves, the more we experience true life. 

Father, I pray with John today that my life would become less so that you become greater. And in that counterintuitive equation I thank you that you will bring me the most satisfying life I could ever have. Amen.

The question to consider today: How can I make more room for Jesus in my day?

The Lent Series: Less can equal more

March 2, 2022

The Lent Series

Day 1: Less can equal more

“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:5

Lent is a powerful time in the church calendar that can deeply impact our walk with God. For  many years of church history, believers have used the forty days of Lent from Ash Wednesday to the Death and Resurrection of Christ to go deeper with God and contemplate what it meant for Jesus to redeem His people. 

It is normal for individuals to choose to give something up in their lives during Lent. This is not to earn favor from God but to focus our minds on what is most important. It follows in the footsteps of Jesus who gave up His very life on a Roman cross. The creator became one of the created in the incarnation in order to reconcile the created with the creator at the cross. 

Think of what Jesus gave up in order to give us life. He emptied Himself so that we could be filled. He died so that we could live. He left heaven for squalid Bethlehem so that we could be redeemed from our sinful and broken places and experience healing, wholeness, and life. He was crucified so that we could be justified. He gave His life at Golgotha so we could receive life for eternity.

Paul describes this act of Christ as a great lessening. “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross!”

In a radical act of lessening, Jesus subverted the status quo in our world, just as He does in our lives if we know Him personally. In emptying Himself he made it possible for us to be filled.

As we walk through the forty days of Lent we want to explore the possibility that less can be more. We believe that there is a principle of lessening in how we live that can revolutionize our lives and the lives of those around us. In a world that is always about more there is something deeply subversive about less.

Can we live a life of subtraction in order to live a life of abundance? Can we empty our lives of our busyness and activity and find ourselves more fulfilled and satisfied? Can we do less and accomplish more for God’s Kingdom? Can we let go of those things that we medicate with and find ourselves more alive than before? 

Our world thinks in terms of addition. The more we add to our lives, to our possessions, to our calendar and to our sense of self-importance, the happier we will be. Is it possible that the world's definition of satisfaction by addition is upside down and that real satisfaction comes from subtraction rather than addition? It is in including the right things in our lives rather than the multiplicity of things that makes life meaningful. Central to this is making Jesus and His values the core of our lives at all times. Life is not about us. It is about Him and us living in Him.

This is a subversive idea. Wikipedia says that “Subversion refers to a process by which the values and principles of a system in place are contradicted or reversed in an attempt to transform the established social order and its structures of power, authority, hierarchy, and social norms.”

Isn't that exactly what Jesus did in the incarnation? The author of creation and the king of the universe came to earth as one of the created. A baby instead of a king. Into poverty instead of grandeur. A carpenter instead of a VIP. An itinerant rather than a settler. And then, a crucifixion rather than a coronation. He became disgraced so we could experience amazing grace. At every turn: how He lived; what He taught; His dependence on the Father, the death He died, He was subverting the status quo and the religious practices of the day.

Think of His upside down teaching

• To live you have to die
• To be first you must be last
• To become rich you must give it away
• To be joyful you need to mourn
• To be strong you must be humble
• To be a leader you must be a servant

And the largest subversive act in history was a dead Christ raised to life after three days, defeating the power of death and sin. Jesus was the most subversive force the world has ever encountered and the most subversive relationship we will ever encounter. He changed and changes everything. But, just as He chose to give up His prerogatives for us, there are things we are called to give up to join Him in His subversive work in this world. He is turning the world on its head and He invites us to join Him in that work.

Over the next forty days we will consider how we can experience the less is more life. It is often in the subtraction that we experience more. 

Our choosing to give up something for Lent can lay the foundation for us to better experience the spiritual realities we will be studying. Less can be more in almost all of life. In fact, our journey will be about less of us and more of Christ. And that is the most important equation. The more of Jesus in our lives, and the less of us, the more subversive we become. 

Would you join us on this journey? We invite you to start by considering what it is that you are going to give up for Lent. That small decision can be a reminder throughout the next 40 days that less can be more. What we give up in our physical world can remind us of what God desires to do in our spiritual lives. 

Father. I want to join you in your subversive work in this world. Give me some ideas of those things I can give up in the next forty days of Lent. Help this be a reminder that less can be more and that subversive subtraction can empower me as I join you in your work.

The question to consider today: Should I give something up for Lent to remind me that He is the center of my life and my greatest focus?

 

When the Man Meets the Moment: Why Zelensky matters, in Ukraine and the world - David French

THE FRENCH PRESS

When the Man Meets the Moment

Why Zelensky matters, in Ukraine and the world.

David French

Signs of Humility and Arrogance in leaders

 

Indicators of Humility

• I have a proper view of who I am and who I am not and know the source of my strengths

• I am a secure individual and, therefore, unthreatened

• I know that I need others and treat them with honor and respect

• As a rule, I am non-defensive

• I listen carefully to others and display flexibility

• I do not need to have my own way on most things

• I am willing to share authority and decision-making with others

• I intentionally solicit feedback and am open to critique

• I pay great attention to my shadow side and manage it

• I give credit away for success and take responsibility for failure

• I surround myself with people who will tell me the truth

• I live under authority and accountability

• I realize that my leadership is not about me but about the mission

Indicators of Arrogance

• I am self-involved and have an inflated view of my own importance

• I live with insecurity, which impacts my actions

• I use others for my purposes and marginalize them if they disagree with me

• I display defensiveness and do not want to hear contrary opinions

• I do not listen carefully to others and am inflexible when others suggest modifications to my plans

• I am unwilling to share decision-making with others

• I resist feedback or critique that is not in agreement with me

• I pay little attention to my shadow side and rarely, if ever, acknowledge it

• I take credit for success and blame others for failures

• I surround myself with “yes” people

• I resist accountability and chafe under authority

• The ministry is more about me than the mission

Beware of your personal convictions becoming your theology

 

I have many convictions based on my reading of God's word but my convictions are not theology - only what is explicitly taught in the Scriptures can be theology. But too often, our convictions become theology for us and we then believe others should abide by our theology.

For instance, there are many public battles being fought on social media over elements of orthodoxy and the gospel that would not be found in the Nicene Creed or the Apostles Creed, both of which are bedrocks of Biblical orthodoxy. But the personal beliefs of many over non-essentials of the faith have become core battlegrounds that not only define the individual who believes them but the orthodoxy or non-orthodoxy of those who don't.

One example is that of whether women should pastor or preach. The voices around this conviction are vociferous, often crude and unkind. One wonders where the Fruit of the Holy Spirit factors into the conversation but that is an aside. This is an issue that different people have different convictions about but for many their conviction has become unyielding theology and if you don't agree with me you are a heretic. 

It also raises the question as to what is American theology and what is non-American theology as questions like this or like dispensational theology are very much an American preoccupation. To the church in the rest of the world these are often irrelevant debates.  Because they are not seen as core to the Gospel or core theology. Yes they are personal convictions one way or another but they are not core tenants of the faith.

Convictions are those issues where the Holy Spirit speaks to us about our lives as to how we apply Scripture in our context. For instance, I have a conviction regarding certain lifestyle issues that Scripture does not directly speak to. It is my understanding of what God want's for my life based on the application of His truth to my life. But that does not mean that I can insist that others live by those same convictions for they are mine and not Scripture's. My convictions do not equate to theology. Thus we cannot impose them on others.

One of the great freedom's about following Jesus is that He gives us freedom in those areas where Scripture does not speak clearly to follow our own consciences. The good news is a Gospel of freedom rather than a system of legalism. We can choose to freely follow certain practices and we can choose to allow other to do the same - as Jesus gives all of us freedom to make those choices. I do make certain lifestyle choices were God gives freedom but I will not impose those choices on others because they are my choices and are not theology. I will also resist any attempts by others to impose on me their choices or convictions that are not theology.

Freedom is a wonderful thing. Lets use it carefully and joyfully and not allow convictions to become theology. When our convictions become theology that others must agree with we fall into the error of the Galatians rather than living in the freedom of Jesus.

Come to the Feast!

 

In the wake of Covid, many people have left the church and decided that they don’t need it anymore. Not because of their fear of Covid but because they figure that it doesn’t matter. They will do their spirituality on their own. In their way. On their terms. I suspect that it will result in a diminished personal and spiritual life but we are a nation that does it's own thing.

What they don’t know is that they are missing the party. You heard me right. The party. In Nehemiah 7 and 8, after the completion of the wall that Nehemiah helped organize, we read this: “When the seventh month came and the Israelites had settled in their towns, all the people assembled as one man in the square before the Water Gate. They told Ezra the scribe to bring out the book of the Law of Moses, which the Lord had commanded for Israel.

They built him a platform and “on the first day of the seventh month Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, which was made up of men and women and all who were able to understand. He read it aloud from daybreak till noon as he faced the square before the Water Gate in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively to the Book of the Law."

Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. Ezra praised the Lord, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, “Amen! Amen!” Then they bowed down and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground….They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving the meaning so that the people understood what was being read.

As the people heard the Word of God they were sad and grieved because they realized they were not following God as they should. But the Levites calmed the people down and said “Be still for this is a sacred day. Do not grieve.” Instead they threw a party. We read, “Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them.”

I know a group called the Light of Jesus Family that has a weekly meeting called the Feast. They feast on God’s word, on worship, prayer, and food together each week. Feasts are times of joy and fellowship and that is how they see their worship and how we ought to see our worship as well. This is how we ought to view our weekly worship. A feast around God's word with people we love to give us what we need for the upcoming week. Worship and fellowship go together. And so does rejoicing and music and laughter. Oh, food helps as well!

We ought to throw more parties around God’s word, good food, laughter, and joy. They all go together and they feed the mind, body, and soul. Worship should be seen not as an obligation but as a feast, each time you meet and open the Word. Next week, come to the feast!

It is not enough to be an Acts 2 church

 

We often turn to Acts chapter two to look for clues as to what our congregations should look like. The passage we often turn to is Acts 2:42-47. "They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

It is a wonderful picture but it misses one very important factor. It is not the picture of what the church will look like in heaven. This was still a church that reflected one group of people - Jews who now followed Jesus. Their practices were notable and revolutionary for that day. But missing were the people from many tribes, nations, colors and backgrounds that will make up the church in heaven.

Consider the congregation we will be a part of in heaven: "After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb." (Revelation 7:9).

This is not only the picture of our future congregation but it is proof of the power of God. Where else could people from every nation, tribe language, social group, find unity together except at the foot of the cross and the family of God? Paul wrote this in Galatians 3:26-28: "You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. Their is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

Now think for a moment of our society which is becoming more and more divided around politics, beliefs, practices and ethnic groups. There is only one place where all those divisions can exist together in peace. It is in the family of God where each of us, regardless of who we are have been clothed with Christ and are one in Christ Jesus. One!

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4 of the unity we should have in the body of Christ regardless of our differences. "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." (Ephesians 4:1-6).

In all the bickering among Christians over politics, theology, practice and racial issues we forget one core principle: There is one body and one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism and one God and Father who (and hear this) is Over all that other stuff, who is through all and in all of us. The Father and the gospel transcend our differences so that we can be one family in Him.

Then why all of our divisions? Because we don't understand that it is in Jesus that we are made one. In fact, Paul says in Ephesians 2:14 that "he himself is our peace (in spite of our differences), who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility" between Jews and Gentiles (and all those things that could divide us), because "His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit." And so we are no longer disparate and divided people but "fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household."

Which leads me back to Acts, but this time to Acts 13 where you see the church moving from a mono cultural place to a multi cultural place. In fact, as a result of Paul and Barnabas's ministry, gentiles were brought into God's family and "The word of the Lord spread through the whole region. This set the stage for the council at Jerusalem in Acts 15 where the leaders of the church endorsed the fact that the church was to be made up of Jews and Gentiles and all who responded to the Gospel setting the stage for major multiethnic congregations throughout Asia Minor.

All of this reflects God's intent for the church. We come to the foot of the cross and into the family of God as equals. We come to Him despite our differences and He knits us together into living stones of His household. We come from disparate backgrounds but have one faith, one hope, one baptism, one Spirit within us and one Lord of all.

Therefore, the picture of the church in Revelation is to be the picture for our congregations today. In a day of division we ought to be a people who come together under His banner. Multi ethnic, different social classes, political rivals - it does not matter because Jesus brings peace between God and us and between us with each other. The more our congregations look like the congregation in heaven the closer we come to the reality of who God is and who is family is and how He makes peace between people who otherwise would not have peace. He is our Peace!

Sadly, the typical evangelical church is not living in that peace. We have become more tribal than ever. We are moving away from unity toward disunity. We need to reclaim Christ's vision for the church.

The Acts two church is beautiful. The Acts 13 church is amazing! When the Spirit of God and our love for one another come together, our differences fade compared to our commitment to Jesus and His family. In a day when there is so much division, He is our Peace!

The Dissenters Trying to Save Evangelicalism From Itself - David Brooks in the New York Times

OPINION

DAVID BROOKS

The Dissenters Trying to Save Evangelicalism From Itself

Feb. 4, 2022

Leaders, focus and notice but don't necessarily do many things now

 Good leaders are always focused - on a few critical areas that if they do not drive themselves the organization will not thrive and move forward. This is not as easy as it sounds. First one has to determine what those few critical areas are. Second, it takes a great deal of discipline for leaders to focus and not be distracted by many lesser things that need to wait so that the critical issues are addressed. It is their job to determine what those issues are and then to focus on two to three at a time.

The discipline of focus is a critical component of a leader's skill set. They naturally see many things that need to be addressed and the temptation is to do many things at once. Not only does it not work but it drives staff crazy who need to deal with the many things a leader might want to fix or do differently.

This does not mean that leaders do not pay attention to many things. They are constantly paying attention to what they see, hear or discover. They are naturally curious and asking questions. They have many conversations with staff to discern what is happening. But - and this is critical - they are able to assimilate a lot of information without automatically trying to fix what they find. 

Why? Because it is not their job to fix everything but to focus on a few key things. Second, they bide their time until they have a chance to explore their findings or observations with the appropriate individual without being controlling or micro managing. It means they are willing to think grey on some issues until the time is right to address it in a way that does not violate others or take on their responsibility. 

Good leaders:

• Focus on a few critical things
• Notice what goes on around them
• Think grey on lesser problems
• Wait for an appropriate time to address lesser problems with those who are ultimately responsible

For most this will be a skill that is learned and not innate. But it is a critical skill if the organization is going to grow.

Ironically, the more a leader tries to change at any one time, the less effective they will be. Why? Because many changes simultaneously cause a loss of focus for both leaders and the organization. The more critical the issue, the more focus it takes from leadership, staff and the organization as a whole. 

A tale of the dwindling population of Christians in the Middle East (From The New York Times)

‘Now There Is No One’: The Lament of One of the Last Christians in a Syrian City

Michel Butros al-Jisri is among the few Christians left from a once-vibrant community in Idlib on the brink of disappearing. The city, in the only territory in Syria still controlled by rebels, is ruled by Islamists.

Fifteen behaviors that contribute to good leadership

 

There are some life-giving behaviors that good leaders engage in and live by. It sets them apart from other leaders, gives them great credibility, and earns them the loyalty of their staff. It is also what makes their ministry or team successful. I say life-giving because they give life to people and to the mission of the team or organization.

One: Good leaders never make it about themselves. They have the humility to understand that their leadership is about the mission they have been given and that they are stewards of that mission. Healthy leaders keep the focus on the mission rather than on themselves. While relationships are critical, the best glue is missional glue.

Two: Good leaders build a great team. Many leaders hire people who will do what they tell them. The best leaders hire people who they can empower within boundaries and release them. They empower instead of control and are not afraid of staff whose skills exceed their own. In fact, they intentionally look for better people than they are in the areas they lead.

Three: Good leaders do not take credit for success. They give it to the whole team rather than take it themselves. They know that without God's empowerment and the team they work with, success would not happen. It is not about me but about us together. Staff are not always out front; they appreciate it when their leader platforms them.

Four: Good leaders don't blame others for failures. Bad things happen, and leaders know that they need to take responsibility if it happens on their watch. This sends a strong message that "my leader has my back." There may be private conversations, but there is no blame in public.

Five: Good leaders don't fail to address known issues. One of the things that gives leaders credibility with their staff is that they deal with issues even when they are hard. Issues not dealt with hurt staff, and the ministry and staff need their leader to step into the challenging places.

Six: Good leaders build a healthy life-giving staff culture. Healthy cultures have an ethos of candid conversation, collegial relationships, trust, lack of turf wars, shared mission, cooperation, and humility. 

Seven: Good leaders don't ask others to do what they don't do. They model the values and commitments of the organization, don't take advantage of their position, and lead the way by example.

Eight: Good leaders pay significant attention to their staff. Making time for staff, being available to them, removing barriers they face, and staying relationally connected are all factors in a healthy staff culture.

Nine: Good leaders keep the mission central all the time. Few things are more demoralizing than mission drift because it robs the organization and staff of a cause worth giving their lives for. One of the first jobs of all leaders is to keep the mission front and central with great clarity.'

Ten: Good leaders continually clarify what is essential. There is nothing more helpful to any team or organization than clarity. Ambiguity creates all kinds of questions, while clarity answers those questions. Leaders clarify all the time.

Eleven: Good leaders foster candid dialogue and a non-defensive spirit. It is wonderfully refreshing to meet leaders who encourage honest dialogue and are non-defensive when their ideas are challenged.

Twelve: Good leaders lead collaboratively rather than autocratically. Collaborative leadership beats autocratic leadership every time because there is greater intellectual capital at the table and greater buy-in. Few truly good staff will stay long-term without having a voice at the table.

Thirteen: Good leaders require high accountability but exercise low control. They set appropriate boundaries but give a great deal of empowerment. Nor do they insist that staff do things their way but encourage them to use their creativity and gifts.

Fourteen: Good leaders develop their staff and the next generation of leaders. It is life-giving when leaders are proactive in helping their staff grow. The ministry must develop the next generation of leaders.

Fifteen: Good leaders don't stay beyond their usefulness. There comes a time for leaders to move on, and it is better to move on when people want you to stay than leave when people want you to go.

Top global countries for Christian persecution

 

Afghanistan tops Open Doors watch list of worst countries for Christians

Across the globe, Open Doors found that there has been a 24% increase in Christians killed because of their faith.

Grace Killers to Avoid

 A culture of grace is often missing among God's people. And it is a big disconnect for those of us who represent the King of Grace - Jesus. I am talking about the ability and willingness to give one another the benefit of the doubt, accept that others are not perfect and are in need of grace and extending it even as we desire it to be extended to us.  

Here are seven common grace killers:

Critical spirits and sharp comments. When we allow ourselves to have critical spirits toward others we set ourselves above them in our attitude and demeanor. When we make sharp comments we compound our error and in essence demean others. Even when it is necessary to have a difficult conversation one can speak graciously with truth and ever conscious of our own issues. All of us live under God's grace which He extends daily. To follow Him is to extend that same grace to others. 

Playing the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others. Needing to fix other people's issues is far more about us than it is about them. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict each of us about areas in our lives that need renovation. Sure there are times when we need to talk to others about issues in their lives but we ought to do it with great care. I have found that praying for others is often a far better approach than trying to fix others. God is perfectly capable of getting anyone's attention but He does it with amazing mercy and love.

Expecting others to live by our own convictions. Believers have a wide variety of convictions and practices that fall into the grey zone between what God commands and what He leaves to our conscience. Each of us makes lifestyle choices in those areas where God has not spoken clearly. When we are critical of those who make different choices than we do we are imposing legalism on them and moving from grace to control. We are also again playing the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives. 

This extends to our theology. There are many points of theology - beyond the pillars of what it means to be evangelical that Christians differ on. When I insist that others slice and dice their theology they way I do I am arrogantly suggesting that I have a corner on truth and they do not. What is it in me that does not allow others to come to their own conclusions on issues that are not clear in Scripture? One day we will all stand before God and realize how little we actually knew of Him. Yet we are unable to be flexible with the convictions and practices of others.

Gossip and talking to others about issues rather than to the one we have an issue with. This is a huge grace killer and ubiquitous among God's people. Gossip is no different than writing a critical email and copying it to the world. Its ripples continue on and is a way to lift ourselves up by demeaning others. At its heart it is pure judgement and is from the Evil One rather than the One who gives life (John 10:10). Untold harm is caused to reputations and relationships when we engage in this grace killing behavior.

Assuming ill motives on the part of others. This is a grace killer because we are usually wrong (the motives were not poor) but our assumption about motives (as if we can know the heart of another) causes us to think poorly of them. Grace says that I will not assume the motivation of others because I cannot know it unless they tell me. Giving others the benefit of the doubt is about grace. Only God knows the heart.

Holding on to bitterness and choosing not to forgive. Lack of forgiveness and bitterness is at the root of a great deal of relational dysfunction and critical spirits. It not only kills grace in the relationship but in our own spirits that are poisoned by our refusal to forgive and let go. We become a prisoner of our own bitterness and the poison of that bitterness spreads to others around us. It is our choice to forgive or not to forgive but it is God's command that we do.

Lack of empathy and understanding. It is easy to become impatient and critical of others because we don't understand what they are dealing with in their own lives and we have not taken the time to find out. All of us live with either public or private pain from time to time and our lack of empathy for the issues others struggle with often cause us to be impatient and critical. The truth is that if we had to walk in their shoes we would probably  be struggling with some of the same things.

The Fruit of the Spirit is all about grace in our relationships. The fruit of our lower nature is not about grace but about us. In every relationship we have the choice of extending and living out the Grace God extends to us or conversely, choosing the selfish route of judgement and critical spirits. 

I would sum up the attributes of grace this way:

I will be slow to judge and criticize

I will be patient and forbearing with others

In my words and attitudes I will seek to encourage and lift up rather than discourage and tear down

I will not judge motives

I will forgive easily

I will allow the Holy Spirit to convict others rather than playing that role myself

I will be empathetic and understanding

I will seek to display the Fruit of the Spirit in all of my relationships and interactions

I will choose to assume the best

I will refrain from gossip

How to kill the passion of your staff

 Why do some ministry staff have a high and contagious level of passion for what they do, and others have low and noncontagious levels of passion?

Indeed, some of it concerns how individuals are wired personally. But, much of it has to do with the ministry environment in which they work - for environments and culture will either fuel or kill passion in those who work in them.

Passion killers are those things that will diminish rather than fuel ministry passion.

There is the passion killer of ambiguous missional purpose. Organizations that do not have a compelling reason for existence that everyone understands and shares will diminish rather than fuel passion for ministry. General ministry purpose yields general ministry efforts with general ministry results. A lack of focus and clear definition of what we are all about will generate little passion. No wonder such a high percentage of churches exist without much excitement or energy around them.

There is the passion killer of control and micromanagement. Good people want to be developed, empowered, and released rather than controlled or micromanaged. Control diminishes passion by devaluing people and saying, "I can't trust you to do your job by yourself." It disempowers, discourages, and diminishes enthusiasm for one's work over time. Leaders who control or micromanage, by definition, kill passion.

There is the passion killer of poor leadership. Leaders set the pace for the missional focus, health, level of energy and commitment, and the synergistic working of a team. Passion begins to diminish when leaders don't provide that kind of directional leadership and cohesion. Poor leadership yields poor followership, and teams rarely rise above their leader's passion, commitment, and example. For passion to remain high, it must start with the team leader.

There is the passion killer of living with the status quo rather than being willing to take a risk for ministry leverage. Organizations that will not take a risk diminish the passion of those who long to do something different to get greater ministry results. When the answer is "no," we don't do that here; passion leads to discouragement! Trying new things always fuels passion, while living safely does not. Safety over innovation kills passion!

There is the passion killer of unresolved conflict and lack of team cohesion. Teams, congregations, and organizations often live with high levels of negative stuff that is not resolved. Everyone knows it is present, but no one dares to face and fix it. Over time, that diminishes the passion of good people whose desire to see something happen for Christ is discouraged by the dis health they are surrounded by.

Then there is the passion killer of leaders who are coasting toward the end of their ministry life, who don't really know where to go anymore but are determined to hang on till the end, leaving staff without direction or real purpose. This is a real problem among pastors who have lost their ability to lead but don't know what to do next and simply hang on. They may be great people, but they are no longer leading, and their lack of leadership diminishes passion among those they should be leading.

There is also the passion killer of leaders who are more about building their own success and legacy than working as a team. These leaders may have narcissistic tendencies, and it is all about them. Their narcissism diminishes passion in others quickly as team members realize they are simply being used rather than part of a cohesive, unified ministry team. It is about the leader and not about the mission. Some very large organizations and churches suffer from this passion killer.

There is the passion killer of politics and turf wars. Politics kills passion because the energy of turf wars takes away from team spirit and common direction and pits groups against one another. It also fuels cynicism as good people wonder why their leaders put up with such silliness. 

Organizational culture and its leadership will either fuel or diminish passion. I would love to hear from readers about passion killers they have observed in their ministries.

Three gifts every supervisor can give to their staff

 

Leaders come bearing gifts to their staff. They set the culture of the organization in positive and sometimes negative ways. The best leaders create a culture of clarity, development and optimism that we can accomplish our mission. All three of these are positive gifts to the staff they lead.

The gift of clarity is helping everyone be crystal clear as to what we are about and what our focus needs to be. The more sharply we can articulate our direction and focus, the more our staff can in turn focus their work! Focused clarity within organizations is not as common as one might think because it requires an enormous and ongoing effort  by leadership to clarify their mission and an equally enormous effort to keep the organization focused on that mission. However, that clarity is a great gift to staff as they know what the goal is and where their energies need to be focused.

The focus part of the equation is perhaps the hardest because staff and teams must figure out on a quarterly basis how they prioritize their work and what will constitute a "win" for that quarter. Not all activity is of equal value. The most important activity is what we ought to be focused on and that is the value of quarterly win cycles for everyone in the organization.

The gift of staff development is an indication of whether leaders are generous in seeking to help staff grow and develop or selfish in simply using staff for their own purposes. Think about the various work roles you have had over the years and ask the question, "did I leave that role with greater skill and success because someone intentionally developed me or was I simply left to my own devices?" Leaders have a stewardship responsibility to help staff grow, flourish and to give them opportunity to use their gifts fully. This is a truly significant gift and staff never forget the gift.

This gift is both selfish and unselfish. Selfish in the sense that the ongoing development of staff will come back to bless the organization and its work. It also creates a deep sense of loyalty to the organization because it signals a high commitment to staff. It takes time and effort to develop staff and they appreciate it. 

The unselfish part of the equation is that such development may mean that your actually develop someone out of the organization. Their capacity grows and there may not be a place for their additional capacity in your organization but they will flourish elsewhere. Regardless of whether they stay or move on to higher levels of responsibility, you have given them the gift of growth and development. It is an unusual organization or leader who makes this a priority.

The gift of optimism is an attitude that together we can get our job done and accomplish our mission. A leader's optimism with their staff is critical in today's uncertain and competitive marketplaces. Optimism creates momentum while pessimism creates discouragement. Optimism married to a culture of teamwork and cooperation allows organizations to see results that no one could accomplish on their own. Regardless of whether a leader feels optimistic on any certain day, they give a gift to their staff when they choose to convey a positive attitude.

This is especially critical in times of stress and uncertainty as we have been walking through in the past several years. The attitude of the leader cascades down through the team or organization. Leaders who exude hope and optimism in spite of the circumstances create a place of energy and encouragement. Never underestimate the power of this gift.

Every leader can give these three gifts to their staff - if they value their staff enough to do it. 

De-escalating conflict through normalizing conversations

 Many things can introduce conflict or awkwardness into relationships: disagreements; words spoken; actions or even second hand conversations that come back to us. It can cause us to back away from a relationship, suspect that others don't have our best interests in mind and create an invisible wall between two individuals. It happens in families, among friends and in the workplace - anywhere we have key relationships.

This is where normalizing conversations come in. Rather than live with our perceptions or assumptions about where the other individual is coming from, or the awkwardness that has been introduced into the relationship, normalizing conversations can clarify and remove relational walls that have been created. It is a courageous decision we make to seek peace, come to clarity and understanding by candidly talking to another about the events that have transpired.

Unaddressed issues between individuals create walls and distance while discussing those issues can remove those walls and bring parties closer together. These conversations can prevent years of suspicion and misunderstanding from robbing people of relationship.

A normalizing conversation is very simple. It is taking the step to initiate a conversation in order to understand one another and remove the invisible wall that has been created by words, actions or assumptions. Choosing to initiate a conversation with another to clarify issues and create understanding  is a courageous and peacemaking practice. And too rare.

A normalizing conversation is not a confrontation but a conversation. It may or may not result in agreement but it can result in understanding. Because you have invited the other individual to be candid with you as you are with them, it removes future awkwardness in the relationship even if you did not come to agreement. It is simply a conversation to "normalize" what has become problematic.

The major barrier to such conversations is our own fear. In my experience, our fear is usually unfounded and we find the other party relieved to be able to lower the walls and understand each other. Even if the conversation is hard, it opens up the ability to communicate and creates greater understanding and that by definition almost always lowers the relational walls. It is about calming the relational waters.

When we resist such conversations because we are convinced we are right and others are wrong (and I have done that), we rob ourselves and those around us of the synergy that can come from peace and cooperation rather than conflict and a broken relationship. In fact, it does not matter if we were right or wrong. What does matters is that we work to the best of our ability to resolve unresolved issues. Relational discord has no upside but relational peace always does.

What is needed is a spirit of humility by both parties to seek to understand and be understood. In the end, it is usually our pride that keeps us from pressing in and seeking to resolve these matters. If you have a conflict that has resulted in a broken relationship, take the risk of a normalizing conversation.