Ministry anchors that hold you back

Do you ever feel like there is an anchor that keeps your board or staff team from moving forward like it should? Like many of you are trying to row as hard as you can but it's like you have an anchor dragging behind you that makes the going slow and frustrating? You wish that you could cut through the water at a nice clip but each pull on the oars is hard!

Usually when this happens it is because of an individual on the board or team who don't belong there and until you move them on, the rowing will remain tough. And the team or board will grow increasingly frustrated about the slow pace given that they are throwing their energy into the process. Here are several anchors that keep boards and teams from moving forward.

Lack of clarity
Clarity is like the wind in the sail, you know clearly where you are going and therefore all hands on deck are helping move the organization in the right direction. Lack of clarity, on the other hand, is like a sail with no wind and an anchor off the back. Let's face it, if you don't know where you are going you will actually get there: wherever that is.

Lack of empowerment by leaders
Leaders who don't empower become ministry anchors! Everything ultimately comes back to them (because they  don't delegate authority and responsibility) holding things up, causing disempowerment to staff and ultimately making it all about the leader who does not trust his/her staff. Controlling leaders always hold the ministry back.

Lack of alignment
It only takes one individual who is not on board with the direction of the team to throw off the rhythm and momentum. After all you are all trying to go to a certain place but this individual does not agree and is trying to pull in another direction. Their resistance may be active or passive but it is real and it throws the rest of the team off kilter.

Inability to think at the right level
Here you have a nice board member or staff member who may well have the best interests of the ministry at heart but they cannot play at the level of the rest of of the group. In order to help them understand you spend inordinate amounts of time trying to explain. The process discourages the rest of the group and at every critical juncture you have an anchor keeping you from moving at the pace you could be moving.

Black and white thinkers
These are the individuals who don't understand nuance, or grey and for whom all issues are black and white and must be parsed that way. They become frustrating because they don't have the ability to be flexible in their thinking and flexibility is a key to a good team or board. Their stand on "principle" is so rigid that anything that violates their interpretation is a problem to them.

People who need to have their own way
I will call these people for what they are: narcissists. They are not team players. They have an agenda and they simply want their way. They may hide behind spiritual talk but the bottom line is that such talk is simply a smokescreen for their own selfishness and arrogance. These folks are deeply frustrating because they have a hidden agenda that keeps them moving in their direction at all times.

People who are not gifted for leadership
These may be deeply Godly folks who get on a board or team but who simply are not wired to lead. Making decisions that may offend someone in the congregation (and many decisions will) causes knots in their stomachs and getting them to a decision point is arduous.

I have on occasion tried to run the motor of a fishing boat without first pulling up the anchor. You realize very quickly you have a problem with forward momentum. And you pull it up. My advice to boards and teams, deal with the anchor when you have one. Not to do so is to settle for a significant momentum loss and great frustration for the rest of the team.

Leaders and their relationships

In many ways, the quality of our relationships is the acid test of God’s transformative work in our lives. As the Apostle John wrote, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:16). The same Apostle in His Gospel records Jesus as saying, “I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me” (John 17:22-23). In other words, people will know we are Christians by our extraordinary and unselfish love for one another.


Transformation of our hearts is directly connected to the transformation of our relationships. It is a full understanding of God’s grace in our lives which becomes the ground for us to extend that grace to others on a regular basis and it is grace that allows us to love and it is love that transforms relationships. When I fully grasp how Christ loved me when I was unlovable, forgave me when I did not deserve forgiveness, is patient with me when I don’t deserve his patience, continues to forgive me when I blow it – when I fully grasp the unconditional love of Christ to me – it is then that I can extend that same love to others. My ability to extend grace to others is directly connected to my understanding of the grace God has extended to me.

Transformed relationships are about treating people as God treats us, seeing them as God sees us – as individuals made in His image and of infinite worth, wanting for them what God would want for them – to reach their full potential - and extending the same value and honor to others that God does to us. While the culture of the world is to use others for our benefit, Christ followers see relationships as an extension of our relationship with Him which always wants the best for others.

This is an especially critical issue for leaders who have authority over others and whose words, actions and decisions impact others. Because leaders have an agenda – and all leaders do and must - and because leaders are result oriented – and good leaders are, there is always the temptation to use people to achieve that agenda rather than to develop a common mission and together get there through serving people and helping them flourish in the role they play.

This is always a balancing act because leadership means that we must achieve results, resources are always in short supply and getting the right people in the right seat on the bus is part of leadership. Relational stewardship in leadership is all about finding the right gifting for positions, building healthy teams and then developing people into the best they can be. Rather than using people, this is all about developing people and helping them become the person God designed them to be.

Leadership is all about relational equity. We regularly make deposits and withdrawals to that equity: Withdrawals when we disempower or in some way break trust and deposits when we treat people well and empower them. Thus transformation of our relationships is a key component not only to the love we are called to live out but to our leadership and the influence we have with others. Without healthy relationships, influence is deeply compromised.

The heart of humility

The heart of humility is understanding the two fold truth that God has given us strengths as a trust and that the rest of our portfolio is made up of weaknesses where we very much need others.

Much of my work revolves around writing whether my almost daily blog, books, or material for the organization I lead. Writing for me is relatively easy: it energizes and fills me. For most people, writing is a chore and a hassle. I thank God almost daily for His gift of writing which He gave me as a trust to use on His behalf. What I know is that it is His gift so any credit I take is stolen credit. In fact, the stronger our gifting the more credit we owe our creator who created us in Christ Jesus for good works which He prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

Humble individuals are very aware of their gifting. I know that God gave me several strong gifts. I also know that the source of those gifts is Christ. I am deeply thankful for how God gifted and wired me but for me to take credit for those gifts when they came from Him is to delude myself into believing I am the source. It would be like a wealthy father sharing his wealth with a son and the son taking credit for creating the wealth. Our gifting is simply those talents that Jesus talked about in his parable of the talents, given to be used for Him while He is away (Matthew 25).

False humility downplays strengths rather than recognizing them. Genuine humility recognizes those strengths as well as the source of the strengths.

Humble individuals are equally aware of their deficits and weaknesses. Each of us has a few strengths and a multitude of weaknesses. That is why we need others around us who in playing to their strengths can make up for our deficits and we theirs. The best leaders intentionally build leadership teams so that they can play to their strengths and ensure that their areas of weakness are managed by others.

One of my key partners is Gary. While I can envision the future and develop organizational strategy I am not great at working the process to get there. Gary is a master at that. Without Gary my leadership would be much less effective. The same goes for each of the ten individuals on my senior leadership team who have huge strengths in areas where I have little or none. Without them, ReachGlobal would not be what it is.

Leaders who try to go it alone delude themselves into thinking that they are good enough by themselves to accomplish the mission God has given them. I have met some of those leaders. Usually they could be called arrogant. Mostly people don’t like to work directly for them. They may have authority but they do not lead out of deep influence and they often garner more fear than respect.

The heart of humility is that whatever strengths we have were entrusted to us by our creator to use on His behalf. And the realization that in our leadership role we deeply need others and it is “us together” rather than "me" alone. In other words it is not about us! It is about a trust we have been given and a team that we need. When Paul tells us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought but to think of ourselves with sober judgement he is getting at this truth. It is not a denial of our abilities but recognition that those abilities are a trust and that we need one another.

We often make far too much a distinction between leaders and those they lead - as if the leader is a more valuable player than the individual who works in the trenches. Here is the truth: the only difference between the leader and the line individual is a matter of gifting. Without the person in the trenches the leader would have nothing to lead and without the leader the person in the trenches would not have the leadership that makes the organization as healthy or effective as it could be. Both parties deeply need one another, both are equally critical players and both have been divinely gifted by the creator with different gifts.

This is why I believe it is sinful when leaders do not treat all of those in the organization they lead with great honor. It is equally sinful when those in the organization are carelessly cynical about their leaders – some people are cynical toward all leadership and gladly admit it. In both cases there is a devaluing of individuals and the gifting God has granted to them.

Humble leaders freely give away the credit for success that comes their way and take responsibility for failures when they come. Prideful leaders do just the opposite: they take the praise for success and blame others for failures. Healthy leaders recognize that success is not about them but about the team together. As for failure, they are the leader and while they may quietly hold others accountable there is never public blame or embarrassment.

It is the heart of humility.

The dual nature of leadership

Good leadership always has two sides that must be nurtured: Heart and skill. Neither one is sufficient without the other and wise leaders pay equal attention to both. 

The author of Psalm 78 puts it in perspective when he says this about one of the greatest leaders in the Old Testament - David. "He chose David his servant and took him from the sheep pens; from tending the sheep be brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of Israel his inheritance. And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them. (Psalm 78:72)."

When the author says that God chose David and took him from the sheep pens he is making the point that when God looks for leaders He is looking for a certain kind of leader. He is not looking for impressive looking resumes or great academic credentials. He is looking for people who have hearts of integrity - an inner life that is healthy and people who can lead others with skillful hands. The sheep pen is not where most people would look for a leader but God is not a respecter of persons.

Hearts of integrity are critical for leadership because it is out of our inner life that our leadership ultimately overflows. What is inside is what flows into our leadership. What most leaders don't understand is that before everything else, the healthier they are as people in spiritual, relational and emotional health the better leaders they will be. Those who do understand that pay close attention to the development of each of those three areas because it is health in all three that give us integrity of heart - wholeness of heart.

The other side of the coin is the ability to lead with skillful hands. There is an art to leading people. It is a unique combination of having a vision that others want to participate in, the ability to align them around a common mission, to encourage, help envision, organize and empower. Ironically one cannot do any of those well without attention to the inner life.

Because leadership is always about people one of the most important skills of a leader is to understand and relate to those they lead in a healthy and positive way. Unskilled leaders negatively impact those around them (poor EQ) while skilled leaders positively impact those around them. Healthy leaders create environments where people love to work and where the common mission is the glue that holds the team together. People skills are a huge part of the equation in leadership but leaders who don't understand and manage themselves will not understand and manage others. It always goes back to the inner life.

When we think leadership we think of the public activities of a leader. Most of what leaders do, however is behind the scenes or underneath the waterline - invisible to others. It is the stuff of self knowledge and inner health coupled with the skill of dealing with people and calling them to a cause worth giving their energy too. It is integrity of heart and skillful hands together. 

Which world are you living in: The world of mindset or the world of methods?

There is a major difference between the world of "mindset" and the world of "methodology." Think for instance of the last decades of the church where successful churches would market their methodology and other congregations would rush to put that methodology into place in their own church. Whether preaching style, music, small groups or some other ministry facet, many are quick to chase methodology that they think will get them to the next level.

Methodology matters but a whole lot less than we think. What matters much more is the mindset that we bring to our ministry leadership. Mindset trumps methodology every time. Let me explain.

In our rapidly changing world where we minister in different contexts (just think of the differing generations and needs of those generations in the local church or the different situations we face in missions depending where in the world we are) methodologies will need to be exceedingly flexible. Even methods that may be powerful drivers of our ministry today will most likely not be in ten years. 

When I talk to ministry leaders I am far more interested in their mindset than I am in their methods. In fact it is their mindset - the underlying philosophy of their ministry that tells me the most about who they are. Mindset determines ministry methodology, not the other way around.

I will often ask ministry leaders what the central focus of their ministry is: What do they do all the time as staff? One answer is to say, "We provide the very best programming possible and believe in excellence in all we do." Another might say, "We are always encouraging our people to develop relationships with non-believers and to have influence in their circle of relationships." 

Think about those two mindsets: The first is primarily about a methodology to bring people into the church while the second is about a mindset to get their people outside the church and into meaningful relationships. How they do it will vary but the mindset is a very different mindset than the first. Methodology should serve the mindset, rather than the other way around.

Your mindset sets the stage for the results you want in ministry. Strategies follow from mindset rather than the other way around.We often confuse the two but the distinction is critical.

The Jenga Syndrome

Jenga: (It is a fun game) how many pieces of wood can you take out of the stack before it collapses? Ironically it is often ministry success that causes us to slowly remove critical infrastructure from our lives until like the tower above, it falls into a bunch of pieces.


Ministry success brings added obligations and added obligations must crowd something else out. There is limited space in any life. We may start to crowd out key friendships, margin for rest, time with God, opportunity to think and read, time for community and any number of the very things that give our lives satisfaction, meaning and more importantly grounding. This does not happen quickly: like the frog in the kettle it sneaks up on us slowly until we wake up one day and find ourselves in trouble.

Here are the calls I get. "T.J. I can't do this any longer. I am tired, wiped out, empty and confused about what I should do next. Maybe I should leave my church and do something else." There is a weariness in the voice, and a loss of ministry passion and direction. 
And ironically it comes to very successful ministry leaders.

How do we avoid the Jenga syndrome as our ministries grow and we experience success?

First we need to be clear about what practices keep us healthy and grounded, personally, emotionally and spiritually and refuse to allow these practices or the space needed for them to go away. I have ten such practices that I intentionally make space for. What are yours and how are you doing with them?

Second, and this is a big principle. Never take on new responsibility without getting rid of another responsibility. The Jenga syndrome is largely a failure to understand that you cannot add responsibilities and obligations without jettisoning some other obligation. When we don't, a Jenga piece gets pulled out of our lives and often it is one of those practices that keep us emotionally, physically or spiritually healthy. We have limited time and space in our lives so something must give.

In fact, I believe that we ought to be able to identify a few critical responsibilities in our lives (four to five major ones) and that if something else is going to be added, one of the existing ones needs to be changed.

Third, resist the temptation to develop a co-dependent relationship with your ministry. We know what co-dependent relationships do to other relationships: they do the same thing when we allow this to happen with our ministry.

In a co-dependent relationship with our ministry, we think we are indispensable and whenever there is a crisis or a need, we are in the middle of it. We have not learned how to separate ourselves or our emotions or our person hood from the ministry we are a part of. The result of co-dependent relationships with our ministry is that we get hooked into too many situations and obligations.

Co-dependent relationships with our ministry start to suck us dry and the Jenga syndrome kicks in because something in our lives must give.

It is a rare individual who can see ministry success on a regular basis and stay grounded and healthy. I hope you are one of them. If you feel like you are suffering from the Jenga Syndrome, start backing up, get some help or counsel because the alternative is, well, the pieces coming apart and that is something you don't want.

The weight of a leaders words

The two boys God gave me were highly sensitive growing up to the words and reactions of their parents. I remember one time giving one of them my "look" and he responded "Don't yell at me!" Actually I had not said anything but I had communicated with my body language and he had felt the message! 

Leaders are not parents to those they lead but like parents, their words have extra weight than the words of others.

Leaders often do not appreciate how their words can hurt, wound, lift up or encourage those in their organization. Because they are leaders their words have extra weight which means that what they say and how they say it impacts people deeply, positively or negatively in significant ways. Their words carry more weight because people don't want to let them down and staff feel it deeply when words spoken carelessly come their way.

This means that leaders have a higher responsibility than others to filter and control their words (yes emails) and reactions so that they do not negatively impact others or send messages they don't want to send. 

Leaders should remember:

• Words of affirmation are huge.
• Careless passing words that construe disappointment or cynical can hurt.
• You can say a lot with body language. Be aware and careful.
• Measure your responses to control your emotions so that your emotions don't get in the way of the message.
• Think before one speaks: both about the message and the way it is delivered.
• If you are going to say hard things because you must, think carefully about how you do it and focus on behaviors rather than on motives. 
• Your words carry extra weight so use them carefully!