What do you pray daily?

The answer for me is simple. There are many things I pray about but there are three things I pray for every day and before every key interaction: Wisdom, empowerment favor. Let me explain.

Wisdom because I want to be to able apply God's counsel and understand how He would have us respond in any given situation. As a leader there are many options from which to choose. The key is to have the wisdom of God to know which is best. It comes from Him so I ask for it regularly.

Empowerment because unless I am walking in the power of the Holy Spirit I will not have the wisdom or insight that I desire. It is the Holy Spirit that helps us see clearly and apply God's truth wisely.

Favor with people because without favor there is no influence. Unless God gives us favor so that others respond to us well, we cannot lead them or have the influence we desire with them. 

I have been amazed at how faithfully God answers these prayers as I am faithful in praying for them. What do you pray for daily?

Our real identity

Our identity is a complicated puzzle made up of many factors. For instance, I grew up in Asia so I am defined as a "third world kid." I feel most at home there but my home is here. Add to that the family each of us grew up in, our experiences through life, the education we received, the job we have and our station in life. No one of these is sufficient for identity but together they profoundly impact who we believe we are.

Now, I believe that God uses all of our history to craft who we are in the present and he uses the present to craft who we will be in the future. But at its core, our identity is all about who God created us to be in relationship with him rather than the external factors that we often falsely believe are our core identity.

For many men, their job defines their identity. What happens if the job goes away and I am unemployed? Did my core identity change? If my 25 year old son who is a strapping outdoors man were to suffer an accident that left him as a paraplegic did his identity change?

External factors in our lives are certainly important in shaping who we become when we allow the Holy Spirit to grow us. But our core identity is found in our son ship and daughter ship of the King of Kings. In the end we are more defined by our relationship with God than our jobs, our position or life experiences. All of those may be wonderful and may have had a part in forming us but many of these can go away. Our life "in Christ" can and will never be taken away. It is the core of our identity for all eternity.

Believing that and living it out changes everything.

Crafting the culture of your organization

It is perhaps one of the most important jobs of a leader: crafting the culture of their organization. Whether in ministry or business, when the culture is healthy and life giving one attracts and retains the best staff and they will weather all kinds of challenges together. The corollary is that where the corporate culture is unhealthy it breeds all kinds of dysfunctional relationships, politics, lack of cooperation, turf wars and general discontent.

Leaders often pay far too little attention to culture in their desire to deliver on the bottom line but it is a big mistake. A life giving culture is one of the most important keys to ministry or business success. 

Think of all the time and energy that it expended dealing with dysfunctional relationships, politics, lack of cooperation and turf wars. Eliminate those life taking dynamics from the workplace and all kinds of great things can be accomplished. In fact, in healthy cultures these kinds of behaviors are not permitted and are anti values for the whole staff.

How does one craft a life giving culture? First leaders model what they desire from their staff. People will hear what one says but they will pay attention to what they experience with their leader. Culture always starts with leaders who either live out life giving or life taking behaviors.

Second, leaders clarify the values, guiding principles or behaviors that they expect to be lived out in the organization. Many leaders don't realize how much influence they have in this regard. If that clarity is lived out by the senior leader and his/her staff, others will start to get the picture and move in that direction.

Third, leaders make it clear that there are behaviors that are not allowed and back it up with action when necessary. When we allow dysfunctional behaviors to exist it sends a message that we are not really serious about the values we espouse.

Here are some of the cultural pieces we have been intentional about creating in ReachGlobal.

• Health: Healthy individuals, healthy teams and healthy leaders. This includes emotional, relational, spiritual and skill health.
• Robust dialogue: Any issue can be put on the table with the exception of personal attacks or hidden agendas.
• Graciousness: How we communicate matters and we respect one another.
• Autopsy without blame: Bad things will happen and when they do we will seek to learn from it without assigning blame.
• Whatever it takes: We will do whatever it takes to get the job done and are flexible on strategy but not on our philosophical underpinnings.
• Team: We work together well.
• Trust: We trust one another and deal with it when that trust is violated.
• Promises: We keep them.
• Development: We develop and grow people in our desire to see them reach their full potential.
• Accountability: We deal with situations where behaviors do not match our desired culture.

What culture are you creating? Is it intentional or accidental?

Relationships and influence

There is a direct and organic connection between the quality of our relationships at all levels and the influence we have with others and within our organizations. If one wants to have influence one must focus on healthy relationships.

If we see positional authority as the base of influence we miss the point! People may accede to the authority of another because of their position but they will not genuinely follow someone who they don't respect or who they don't think has their best interests in mind. And the way they judge that is usually in the quality of their interactions.

It is easy to become careless in how we interact with others. We can take them for granted, send them biting emails, be short or critical or simply not acknowledge them and their contribution. Every poor interaction is a withdrawal from our influence bank and every good interaction is a deposit. Carelessness in our relationships and interactions is devastating to ongoing influence. 

Some people I know would say that the above statement is all about "politics" and they don't like politics. I would say it is about respect and all of us want respect. It is about negotiating relationships for the best possible outcome. If we want to have influence we will focus on the quality of our relationships. It is the basis of true influence.

Apps and operating systems: Why disciplemaking programs often fail in the church

We all know the mandate of Jesus to go and make disciples. We also know that in general the church has done a poor job of helping people become genuine followers of Jesus. We are great at acculturating people into our evangelical subcultures but not so great in seeing real life transformation take place that looks like what Jesus and the New Testament describes.

I define a disciple as one who understands grace and extends it to others, who thinks like Jesus thinks and then aligns his/her priorities with those of Him and who see people as He sees them and loves them as He loves them. It is transformation of hearts, minds, lifestyle and relationships.

The question is, why does this not happen more often? We have to acknowledge that transformation is not easy and is always a work of the Holy Spirit with our cooperation. Life toward Jesus is a journey of a lifetime.

However, I believe there is another issue that short circuits the process. As people who have a program for everything we often design programs for disciplemaking - like an App that we download for our I Pad or cell phone. Then we ask people to buy the App (get involved) and put them through our process hoping they will come out the other side a better disciple.

The problem is that disciplemaking can never be related to an App or program. Rather it must be built into the fabric of our operating system as a church. Everything we do should be intentionally designed to help people move toward transformation of heart, mind, lifestyle and relationships. No ministry is exempt. No program can make disciples but the church can if it is woven into everything we do.

Ask yourself this question. What are the specific ways that everything you do in the church is designed to make true disciples? Do you believe that your design is working well and can you point to tangible results? Would you describe your strategy as more of an App or more of an operating system? Finally, would your people know how you define a mature disciple?

Signs that we live in grace

How do we measure our grace quotient? Here are some signs to consider:

• I am at peace with Jesus knowing that He forgave my sin and does so daily. I have nothing to prove to Him.
• I readily extend that grace to other hurting and broken people without judgment even when I need to speak truth into their lives.
• I am more interested in the Holy Spirit working in the lives of others than I am in trying to do so myself although I will always loving help if needed.
• I do all that I can to live at peace with others rather than in conflict.
• I extend grace to those who treat me badly even if I need to confront the behavior.
• I intentionally go out of my way to give honor and dignity to those who need it no matter their situation.
• I go out of my way to extend help and honor to "the least of these."
• I have no one that I have not forgiven for offenses committed against me or others even when that forgiveness is hard and is done as an act of obedience.
• I am willing to tell people the truth in grace knowing that ignoring issues is not grace.
• I daily seek to live out the fruit of the Spirit in my relationships with the help of the Holy Spirit
• I seek to understand the situation of others when I am irritated with them.
• I seek to live generously rather than selfishly.
• I look to the gospels and the life of Jesus to understand what it means to live in grace and extend it to others.
• I daily ask Jesus for the grace to live in grace.

The church is often a place of lies rather than a place of truth

No, I am not talking theology, especially in the evangelical world. I am talking about how we pretend we are "all together," the struggles we hide and the huge lack of transparency about our lives because it is not safe to tell the truth: That we are broken, struggling, hurting people, deeply in need of grace and deeply in need of the support of other believers if we could only tell them our need.

But in most churches, telling others our need can be dangerous. People talk, people can subtly condemn and in truth, being transparent is a threat to the system as most churches are not transparent. After all, as believers we must have our lives together.

We forget what drew people to Jesus: His indescribable grace and acceptance and love. That is also what draws people to us (if they are drawn to us) and should be the biggest magnet in the church. But that means we must major on God's grace and that those who walk through our doors will feel that grace no matter what their background or their struggles.

And this is what we cannot forget. I can know Jesus for many years and still desperately need His grace and forgiveness. The fact that I have known him does not exempt me from my need of Him. If we all understood that in the church it would be a far more transparent and grace filled place. 

Ironically, our struggles are common struggles so pretending they are not there is silly. It is also a lie. And it keeps us from supporting one another, praying for one another and doing what God does so well, extending grace to one another. 

What would it be like if our churches were the safest place on the face of the earth to be transparent rather than the most unsafe? What would it be like if rather than lying to one another (by not admitting the truth of our need) we were truthful with one another? I suspect we would be healthier people because through the grace and support of others many would get whole. And I suspect many would be drawn to us because they see in us a transparent honesty, grace and the truth that brings healing.

And it is healing that we all need.