When my church board is not healthy

My recent blog, Split Boards, Split Congregations generated a fair amount of comment - especially on face book. The comment below illustrates the dilemma that we find ourselves in when one's church board is not healthy.


So as a member of a congregation like this-where personal agendas are taking over and boards are not being held in check--how do you know when to leave? Knowing this is the state of your leadership, how do you keep worshiping in this setting? Is is possible?



Obviously a board like this won't care if your one little family leaves, so no "point" will be made if you go.


When you know of this discord and the heart of leadership, should you stay connected to this body? There are probably more problems like this than we are even aware of. It would sometimes seem ignorance is bliss, but what happens when you DO know? the telling line: the board thinks what they do is done in secret. You are right, it never is! Church members can see and feel it!


There are no easy answers to this dilemma. Obviously the first answer is to pray that the board will get its act together. In addition, I would consider talking to someone on the board that one trusts and who can do something about addressing the issues at the board level. There are books like "High Impact Church Boards" that address these very issues and describe how to take an unhealthy board to greater health.

Often it is necessary to bring in outside counsel who can candidly address the issues that are contributing to poor health and call unaccountable board members to accountability. I have done this on numerous occasions as a consultant to church leadership.


I do not believer we ought to leave churches easily. However, when the leadership is unhealthy and over time one discerns that this is not likely to change, you will see a quiet exodus. The sad thing for the church is that those who leave first are often the healthiest members because they are missionally driven and unwilling to tread water in a place where leaders are spending their time fighting over agendas or guarding the status quo rather than leading the church into healthy ministry. The end result is that when the board wakes up, those they need best are often gone.


These are not people who easily bail. They are generally those who care about leveraging their lives for maximum ministry impact and are unwilling to waste precious years where that passion is not held by the leaders of their church. Generally they will not fight (they are not in a place to make a difference with leadership) but will quietly leave.


What unhealthy boards don't get is that there is a cost to their unhealthy behaviors:
First, congregations will rarely rise above the spiritual level of their leaders.
Second, congregations are often aware of tension, agendas or unhealth on their board.
Third, congregations will often mirror the conduct of their leaders.
Fourth, unhealthy leadership cannot lead congregations in healthy ministry.
Fifth, over time, your most missionally minded people will gravitate to places of greater health.


I cannot answer the dilemma raised by the above response to my prior blog. What I can say is that leaders have no idea how destructive unhealthy board behaviors are to the church and they will be held accountable by God for their leadership - healthy or unhealthy. Many church boards need a wake up call to how their lack of discipline, health, ability to police themselves and lack of missionality is hurting the bride of Christ.

Discouragement and our Hearts

Ironically, we must guard our hearts during times of failure and discouragement as well as success. While success may cause us to take our eyes off of our Lord and focus on ourselves, failure and discouragement have the potential to do the same thing: only this time in disillusionment and discouragement rather than pride and entitlement.



I know how dangerous failure and discouragement can be. I came very close to walking away from full time ministry altogether after deep pain in my late twenties. I know both vocational and avocational ministry driven individuals who have done that in the face of great difficult times. I am sobered by the implications in my own life and ministry impact had I chosen to walk away from the call of God on my life because of my great pain.


I have come to believe that times of failure (real or perceived) and times of discouragement are critical for the health of our hearts as they force us to choose where we will put our trust even in the face of impossible circumstances. We are forced into the decision to put our faith in our heavenly father just like those listed in Hebrews 11 even when we cannot see a way out. Looking back on some of the most painful periods of life I have come to the conclusion that I would not trade them for anything but I never want to experience it again!


Failure and discouragement force a life changing choice. Will I continue to trust and follow closely after Christ or will I settle for a diminished and wounded life? The first leads to greater faith and the second to a lessened faith. Failure and discouragement are never final unless we allow them to be. We make the choice as to whether we will move on and follow Him in the midst of our pain or allow our pain to pull us away from Him. It is always our choice and our move.


My own heart has been molded in pain and disappointment more than in any other way. That pain was God’s graciousness to me in order to make me what I have become. I am humbler, gentler, kinder, more comfortable in my own skin and less driven because of the gift of pain. Some of the best gifts come in the most unsuspecting wrappings.


One of the common responses to discouragement and failure is cynicism. All of us have reason to be cynical about people: especially those who claim to be Christ followers and do things unworthy of that walk. Yet, cynicism too, is a destructive attitude and hurts our heart. It causes us to doubt the good intentions of others, robs us of our ability to trust and skews our attitude toward others. Think about this: What if God chose to be cynical toward us? Our actions and attitudes often deserve it, yet he chooses to love and believe the best for us. Cynicism robs us of the ability to love and believe the best.


In my fifties, I am deeply realistic about the realities of people’s lives and situations I face. What keeps me from cynicism is my awareness of my own struggles, failures, imperfections and deep desire for righteousness. I am thankful that God is not cynical with me and I want to resist the temptation to be cynical toward others. Paul meant it when he wrote his letters to the “saints,” even when he needed to chastise and take people to task. We are saints, even in our imperfections and struggles and we want to treat all of God’s people in that light – even those who irritate us significantly.

Success and our Hearts

The complexities of our hearts are nowhere more evident than in the drive of leaders to succeed – and the motivations that underlie that drive. Those motivations have a direct impact on how we lead and how we treat the people we lead. It impacts the level of drivenness that defines us and how we respond to success if God grants it.



I am seen by many as a rather driven, type A personality and I cannot dispute that I have a very high desire to succeed in what God give me the opportunity to do and frankly, I did not fall far from the tree. My father graduated as a Civil Engineer, then went to Seminary, Medical School, completed a surgical residency and finally a Dr. of Ministry over his lifetime as a church planter, missionary doctor and then a surgeon in private practice. Along the way he wrote a book called Discovering the Bible that thousands have used as they read through the Bible over the course of the year.


While never feeling overt pressure to succeed, I cannot imagine not putting my full weight into any assignment I am given and become bored quickly when there is not a challenge in front of me. What drives me is the desire to have maximum influence for the cause of Christ globally in the years that He gives me. That fuels my leadership of ReachGlobal, my consulting with churches and Christian ministries, speaking, teaching and writing. I guess I qualify as driven whether I like the notion or not! Fortunately all of these things are in my sweet spot so I derive great satisfaction from them and my work is my play. I am blessed.


Success however has its hidden traps. I must ask myself constantly, what is it that drives me? Is it the accolades of others, telling me I have done well? If so we all know that others often tell us what we want to hear rather than the truth! Am I driven by my definition of success or God’s? I have heard many pastors say that success for them is a larger church. Really? Might God’s definition be a missional, empowered and healthy church? Is larger always the definition of success? After all, a larger congregation might simply mean that we have attracted the latest folks hopping from one church to another!


Success often brings a sense of pride that makes us believe that we don’t need to listen to the counsel of others. After all, we have proven ourselves. We know what is right and the more success we experience the less we listen to those who we need to hear around us. The truth is that the more successful we are the more cautious we must be about our own wisdom, and the more committed we must be to ensuring that we have a cadre of friends around us who tell us the truth and help us see our blind spots. The biblical admonition that pride goes before fall is not a myth but a harsh reality.


It is often in success that we are vulnerable to either hurting those that get in our way or exploiting others for our purposes. After all, why should I allow others to get in the way of God’s work? And surely, the ministry I am involved in transcends the needs and concerns of others! Many of us have met people who think this way. Their ambition and drive has run over those who got in the way of their trajectory.


Chapter eight of the book of Deuteronomy is devoted to the subject of success and the reality that often in success we start to believe our own press – that it is us who are responsible for success rather than our God who granted it. We start to believe that we are deserving of privileges that others are not. We start to believe that it is our wisdom and our ability that got us to where we are rather than the blessing of God and the gifts which He sovereignty gave us.


I am convinced that one of the key indicators of where our heart is – is how we deal with success and whether it brings with it greater pride or greater humility. I both desire and fear success! I desire to have the greatest influence possible for His purposes and the advancing of His kingdom. I fear that this very success will cause my heart to believe that I am responsible for the success He Himself granted and that in my success I may in fact fail the test of my heart’s followership of Him.


How do we guard our hearts in seasons of success? I believe that the answer is counter intuitive to what successful people often do. Success often makes for subtle shifts in our thinking and lives: We run faster, move away from truly authentic relationships, believe that we are better than we really are and expect others to serve us. The way to guarding our heart in success is exactly the opposite of these common responses.


Slow down


Success often causes us to run faster and faster. Opportunities come to speak, attend conferences, meet important people and schedules fill till we are running on fumes: And it is the fumes that are dangerous because when we are tired, full up, and living without margin we are at our most vulnerable. All too many Christian leaders have crashed and burned in the process. Their hearts were empty, their reserves used up and their guard was down!


Here is the irony. What robs us of success is running too fast and paying too little attention to what really counts. Those who are successful over the long run and who retain their deep influence are men and women who do not stray from the core but hidden practices of nurturing our hearts. But this cannot be done on the run. It requires time to think, reflect, align our priorities and stay close to God. If anyone needs to say “no” often, it is those who have tasted success and become sought after because of that success.


Cultivate authentic relationships


Success breeds arrogance unless we continue to intentionally cultivate the authentic relationships with other Christ followers who can challenge our thinking, hold us accountable and keep us humble. Whenever I encounter arrogance I know that these critical elements are missing and that there is a high likelihood that a crash is coming. Arrogance is the bi product of unaccountability and isolation.


Perhaps the most important people to those who have tasted success are those who knew us before we were successful in the eyes of others. They are not enamored by our new stature. They know us for who we really are and our relationship is not based on fame or accolades. In fact, they are the very people who see through the fluff to what is truly real. Like God, they are not enamored by the new persona but look for the authentic us.


Men and women who have come into significant wealth know this truth. It is the friends they had before they were wealthy that they know to be true friends and not looking for some favor. The same is true with those in ministry who come into significant favor. Those who isolate themselves from accountable relationships often pay a heavy price. Those who foster authentic relationship with those who are not impressed by their success guard their hearts.


Pay close attention to your shadow side


If anyone needs to understand and be aware of their shadow sides, it is those who have tasted success. In success we are tempted to believe that we are better than we really are – to minimize our weaknesses and exaggerate our strengths. It is a dangerous place to be because the evil one is constantly looking for opportunities to trip us up and when we exaggerate our strengths in our own minds and minimize our great weaknesses and shadow side we are prime meat for him.


Arrogance is thinking too highly of ourselves. Humility is understanding who we are, Who the source of our gifts and success is and that every good thing we are and have accomplished comes from the generous hand of the Father. My very ability to write this blog is simply the gift of a heavenly Father who gave me the gift of putting words on paper to encourage and challenge others.


Because success blinds us of our shadow side, one of the keys to guarding our hearts is paying more attention to our shadow side as we experience success. It reminds us of our spiritual frailty; of our need for God’s grace on a daily basis and that we are merely cracked pots whom God uses in his redemption plan for our world. Our shadow side, that part of us that still needs to be sanctified by Christ is a daily reminder that we are no different than any of God’s other children. It humbles us and causes us to fall before the cross daily for a needed dose of grace and forgiveness. It helps us guard our heart.


Intentionally serve others


One of the deadly results of success is the temptation to think that others should be serving us rather than our serving them. It is the conversation that Jesus needed to have with two of his disciples when he pointed out that the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve - and so with His disciples.


As the leader of a large organization I am acutely aware of privileges that I enjoy. I have greater autonomy over my priorities and schedule, authority to make decisions that impact others, the ability to build a team that covers for my weaknesses and allows me to live in my sweet spot most of the time and recognition for ministry efforts that others may not normally receive. These are privileges of position. They are also temptations to believe that I am special and entitled when compared to others.


Nothing could be farther from the truth! The posture of Jesus and His disciples is the posture of a servant who came to serve rather than to be served. It is the posture of Jesus in Philippians 2 where He humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross.


The posture of a servant guards our hearts and keeps us grounded in the Christian call to serve others as Christ served and serves us. It helps us resist the insidious move toward pride and privilege and helps us remember the source of our success – the gracious hand of God and those who make up our team and organization.

Guarding Our Hearts

At the center of our inner lives is what the Scriptures call our heart. Within the heart lies the truest core of who we are - our relationship with God, our motives (good, bad and sometimes mysterious even to us), that which has been brought under the lordship of Jesus and that which makes up our shadow side. Our hearts are deeply complex and central to everything we are and our commitment to understand and guard our hearts over the long haul of our lives is perhaps the most critical element in becoming a person of deep influence.



Life was far simpler in my younger years than they are today in my fifties as it relates to my heart. As a young Christian I saw things as black and white, good or bad. I understood certain temptations and did my best to make choices that were pleasing to God but I did not understand the labyrinth of my heart: its passages, rooms, closets, corners, areas where the light of Christ penetrates brilliantly and those where there is more shadow than light. Nor did I understand my ability to celebrate those areas of light and to minimize or ignore the areas of shadowy twilight.


With each passing year I understand better how much of me has yet to be transformed by Christ. I am continually amazed and often disheartened to discover another door of my heart that I have not opened to Him. With each realization I recognize how much more I need His grace today than yesterday and how important it is to understand my heart, to live in truth rather than deception (or ignorance) and that my spiritual pilgrimage is about understanding Him better so that I understand me better and can bring another part of me into alignment with Him.


People of deep influence are exegetes of their own hearts. They actively seek to peel back the layers of protection we use to avoid confronting the real us in order to allow God to transform us into what He made us to be – in every area of life – a process to be completed only when we see Him face to face! They live with a deep sense of God’s grace in their lives because they are willing to acknowledge their own darkness and allow God too shine His light in dark and dangerous places within their own souls.


Solomon was one who understood the multifaceted dimensions of the heart – its capacity for good under the Lordship of God and its capacity for deception and evil under the lordship of self. It is he who wrote this admonition: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).


Our hearts are the place from which all of our attitudes, motives, and actions emanate. Jesus was clear on this…. Scripture is also clear on the fact that the heart of man was severely damaged by the fall, when Adam believed Satan that if he ate the fruit of the tree he would become like God. Interestingly, it was simply another version of Satan’s own attempt to become like God, or to usurp God so Satan’s own competition with God became man’s competition with God with the result that “We all like sheep have gone astray, each one going his own way” rather than God’s way.


The dilemma we face is that even though transformed by grace – having been justified by Christ’s blood, the process of sanctification is ongoing and the ability of our hearts to deceive us is significant. This is why Christ followers can do such damage to one another – we are deceived in our own hearts that what we are doing is justified when often it is simply the sinfulness of our lower nature showing its ugly head.


I think of church leaders who in the name of “ministry” hurt others who get in their way to success. I think of Christ followers who refuse to reconcile with another party even when that party desires reconciliation. I think of my own ability to justify attitudes or actions that negatively impact others in the name of furthering the gospel of Christ. It takes deep sensitivity to the Spirit of God and word of God which has the ability to divide the marrow of the heart, to sift through what is truly righteous in our motives, thoughts and actions, and what is the residue of our own sinful, stubborn and independent nature!


For leaders, this issue is even more important because our actions impact others in a more direct way than the actions of the average person. And, we have authority over others that many do not have. How we use that authority is always a matter of our heart and whether we understand the layers of our hearts, thoughts, motives, intentions, desires and the myriad other influences on our lives that impact our actions. Like the proverbial onion, there are layers and layers of possible motivations to our actions and getting the real “core” is the constant challenge of a person of deep influence.

Split Boards, Split Congregations

It grieves me every time I hear it. A church board that cannot get its act together, cannot speak with one voice, and cannot deal with rogue board members. Once again, I heard recently of a pastor who has resigned from his church because of massive, ongoing, untreated cancer on his board. Cancer of disagreement, lack of unity, inability to resolve issues, inability to make common decisions that are then kept and inability to support the pastor with one voice.

This is a board that is going to cause a crisis for the congregation. Their poor leadership, their inability to police themselves and their total lack of leadership skills will likely throw the congregation into a major leadership, ministry and financial crisis. The congregation may never recover from a massive wound which their own leadership has inflicted.

There are three principles that I have observed over the many years that I have worked with church boards and congregations. First, the congregation rarely exceeds the spiritual level of its leaders. Second, the congregation usually mirrors the unity or lack of unity of its leaders. Third, congregations suffer deeply when there is dysfunction on the board and benefit deeply when there is health on the board.

Boards think that what happens behind their closed doors are secret. Congregations read the health or dishealth of the board in intuitive ways and real ways and their conduct, health, alignment and behavior matters. Frankly some boards behave in ways that they would never allow others in the congregation to behave.

Once when talking to a church leader about massive board dishealth in his church I suggested that the whole board ought to resign and allow a new group who were willing to work in a unified and healthy way take over. The alternative of perpetuating ongoing board and therefore congregational dishealth is too painful - and too hurtful to the bride of Christ.

One thing I know about this present situation is that a number of board members simply refused good help and counsel when it was offered. They refused help and counsel from seasoned mature leaders and in the end they have deeply wounded the church instead. The book of Proverbs has a word for those who refuse wise counsel - "fools." It is a strong word but it fits rogue boards or rouge board members wherever they are who will not or cannot get their act together for the sake of the congregation they lead.

The church is the place where the very best leadership should be found for it represents the most important enterprise in the world - the bride of Christ and the spread of the Gospel. Where that leadership is treated lightly, where personal agendas get in the way, where rouge and unaccountable board members are tolerated - it is a sinful shame.

Listening with our eyes

Recently one of my colleagues was spending time with his grandchildren while their parents were dealing with an emergency situation with another of their kids. My colleague was constantly on his cell phone (who of us is not?) dealing with his own work issues.

After a while one of his grand kids came up to him, turned his face with his hands so my colleague was looking him in the eyes and said. "Put that phone away. I want you to listen to me with your eyes!"

That was a profound statement from a youngster. He wanted his granddad's full attention, not distracted attention. He wanted him to hear him with his eyes - meaning that he was truly listening, truly paying attention, truly interested. And he knew that his granddad was not listening with his eyes.

On our second trip to Israel some years ago, we were eating breakfast in a hotel we had been in some years earlier. One of the waiters came up to our table and said to my wife, Mary Ann, you were here before! Why would he remember? Because Mary Ann looks people in the face and gives a wide smile when she greets them and she listens to them with her eyes. They don't forget.

One of the interesting comments in the gospels about Jesus is that He looked directly at people. He was fully engaged. He listened to them with His eyes. In doing so, he honored them and made it clear that he cared about them and connected with them.

How often do we only half engage and half listen. I for one am going to do better at listening with my eyes. From the mouths of little ones.....great wisdom.