The Authentic Us

In a previous blog we looked at the freedom of being who God made us to be and being comfortable in our own skin. This comfortableness in our skin allows us to increasingly set aside the need for pretence that we are something we are not and it gives us the freedom to disclose who we are with confidence.



Authentic people have real issues in their marriages, families, work and relationships. They have fears, anxiety over certain things, become defensive when certain buttons are pushed and suffer from insecurities. This side of heaven we are plagued with all kinds of issues that go to our Emotional Intelligence, wiring, weaknesses, shadow side and vulnerabilities. Anyone who pretends otherwise is either fooling themselves or living with false pretences.


What people need from leaders of deep influence is honesty (appropriate to the situation) about issues they face and how they deal with them. I do not look like an insecure person and generally I am not. But when I share some of my insecurities with groups of leaders they sit up and listen – they are surprised – but guess what, they also related. I am not the only one with insecurities and in disclosing my issues I gain a hearing and encourage others. It gave me greater influence with them because in seeing the real me, they resonated with the issues I raised and it provided the framework for significant dialogue among us. I am continually amazed at the power of appropriate transparency.


Our transparency with others creates an atmosphere of transparency where it becomes safe to talk about those issues that plague us all but which we are afraid to disclose. Creating that atmosphere is a gift to the team you lead or the people you influence because hidden, these issues hurt us while they can be resolved or helped in the light. In doing so, we also create a culture of authenticity where struggles are acknowledged, people are encouraged and facades discouraged. It is a culture of authentic grace and truth.


This combination of grace and truth that characterized Christ is crucial to healthy transparency. Truth means that we are committed to walking in truth, speaking truth, and creating cultures of truth. But truth must always be balanced with grace if it is not going to be harsh and hard. And it starts with us in an honest, non-defensive way that does not blame or throw stones but simply lives and speaks truth as a way of life.


A culture of authenticity and honesty carries over to organizational culture as well. I am familiar with many churches and Christian organizations where there is more airbrushed gloss than truth about what is really happening in the ministry. Problems are ignored or spiritualized, problem people are not dealt with, and ministry effectiveness or lack of it is not honestly looked at. It is always interesting to see a more authentic leader come into such situations and actually name things for what they are! It is a refreshing change for those who didn’t like the facade and a threatening change for those who did. Many Christian organizations are just waiting for such a leader who is transparent about their personal challenges and the challenges of the ministry they lead.


My transparency as a leader encourages others to be transparent as well. My honesty elicits honesty among others and it is transparent honest discussion that allows an organization to draw out the best rather than hide the worst. If you are not naturally very self-disclosing or transparent I would encourage you to take some small intentional steps toward greater transparency. You will be surprised at how powerful that small step is in how others respond to you and the impact on the group you work with. It will encourage you to continue to increase your personal level of self disclosure.


Such transparency takes a level of courage and self confidence. For three years, I have written a blog (LeadingFromTheSandbox.blogspot.com). At times, what I have written has been used by a few against me claiming that what I write there does not equal how the organization I lead actually operates. They are right but miss the point. In calling the organization to a higher level we intentionally create a gap between where we are and where we aspire to be. Our goal is then to close the gap – but a gap will always be present as we continue to call the organization to even higher levels of excellence. I am willing to take the hits from the cynical and the perfectionist, both of whom will complain about the gap. At least the conversation opens up important issues for dialogue and my self disclosure is deeply appreciated by the majority of the organization.


Authentic self disclosure is a significant element in developing trust with others and within an organization. Trust is based on understanding the thinking of leaders, of minimizing surprises where possible, and providing venues for dialogue around important issues. That starts with the self disclosure of a leader who is willing to put the cards on the table and then invite dialogue. Secretive leaders engender mistrust while self disclosing leaders build high trust.


There is another venue for transparency that makes a great difference in ministry organizations and that is transparency over schedules and work. Ministry roles, particularly in the church or in mission work can often be unstructured (not a good thing) and without much accountability to others. Two consequences of this are first a lack of intentionality in schedules and work and second a lack of trust and reliability by leaders who live by the seat of their pants.


Picture a pastor who makes his schedule on the run, does not keep his staff up to speed on his priorities or schedule, and changes direction on the whim of the moment. I have consulted in situations like that and the common complaint is that “We don’t know what he does.” That is a dangerous place for a leader to be because behind that observation is a trust issue. Lack of information breeds mistrust because lack of accountability breeds mistrust.


All senior leaders in our organization make their online calendars available to one another which means that there is information available on what each one is up to. In addition, most months I publish my schedule by day to my prayer team so they can be praying through the month – again transparency and accountability. My point is that transparency in all areas of life is healthy: it models openness, it shuns secretiveness which is dangerous and it is a life of ongoing accountability. Transparency and accountability go hand in hand.


For those in ministry transparency also applies to ministry results. There is a significant tendency and perhaps pressure to speak “evangelistically” about what God is actually doing and the results of our ministries. Truth and honesty are high priorities for people of deep influence. They tell what is not what they wish it was. Dishonesty about ministry results is incompatible with the God of truth. And since ministry fruit is his ultimate responsibility we can leave those results with him.


The key themes here are honesty, openness, transparency and a life of truth all of which are connected to accountability. All of these qualities engender trust and model healthy life practices. Those practices keep our own lives in safe waters as well and contribute to lives of deep influence.

Non self disclosure

There are probably a number of reasons that we choose not to be as self-disclosing or transparent as we could. Perhaps the most common reason is that our pride prevents us from sharing lessons or situations where we have played a role, been less than we should be or really messed up. It is pride that causes evangelicals to wear false masks about their lives, pretending that all is well when in fact, they are struggling with significant life issues.



This is unfortunate because our lack of transparency often prevents other from understanding us, learning from us and allowing our lives to influence theirs. And it is not necessary if we are comfortable with who we are, how God made us and the fact that we are merely cracked pots (Paul’s language) that God graciously uses for his purposes.


There are several churches that I love to attend because there is a transparency among the people that is different than the norm. They are quick to strike up conversations and are equally willing to freely share their story of how they came to faith. There is no pretence or mask. They talk about failed marriages, struggles with pornography, affairs, bankruptcies, pride, relational breakdowns – and how God has redeemed them.


The lack of transparency among so many of us is a tactic to keep our dignity but in reality it hurts the very thing that we want most – spiritual influence. The reason that we go to the Psalms in times of difficulty is that we want honest faith not a fake faith. The reason we attract people when we are transparent is the same – people can relate to honest faith, real life, humanly irreparable situations but not fake faith. Thus the more transparent we are in our own lives, the more real we are to those around us and the more real we are the more influence we can have.


As a general rule, pride hides the true us in order to present an image which is better than we are. Humility (nothing to prove – nothing to lose) seeks to be who we are all the time, genuine versions of us. It is the real us rather than the false us which will be most powerful in the lives of others. People cannot relate to false personas (and usually see through them) but they can relate to real people. Further, simply being who we are means that we don’t need to manage a public me and a private me – a complicated dual persona to keep up. Just being me in the process of God’s transformation is a comfortable and honest place to live.


Since there will not be a perfect me till I see Jesus, I don’t have to pretend that there is. And being an imperfect me gives me the freedom to admit failure or sin or mistakes when they occur and simply say, “I am sorry, will you forgive me.” Those powerful words, too seldom used, bring great respect and the lack of them relational breakdown that can last for decades.


Pride, the nemesis of leaders, often keeps us from admitting our fault and in the effort to look good we end up hurting others and losing influence. It is the antithesis of a transparent life.


Another reason for lack of transparency is fear: fear that we will not look good, fear that others may not like us if they knew the real us and fear that others might use our information against us. On this last point, we clearly need to be wise in terms of what we disclose to whom. The rule is that the level of disclosure goes up as relational trust grows and we never simply disclose everything to everyone.


Think, though about messages you have heard that you really resonated with. Are they simply good theology or are they not also the disclosure of how the one preaching has personally wrestled with the theology? Truth without application is not very helpful. The application is where we most touch and understand the text itself. When I use my own struggles (funny or not) to illustrate the truth, I invite in others who can relate to my story. It happens through transparency and self-disclosure.


Self-disclosure and transparency are a choice that we make about how open we are willing to be. That choice will in large part determine how much influence we have with those around us. Transparency is really about authenticity. It is living with a commitment that we will be who we are with whomever we are with all the time. It is living without masks or facades.


It is also about an unselfish life where we make the effort to invite others into our lives, knowing that there is a price to pay for that: our time and energy. Selfishness says leave me alone – it is easier that way. Selflessness says I care about you and am willing to open my life to you.

Unfinished Business

On December 4, 2007 I went to the emergency room because of severe breathing difficulties. What followed was a 43 day hospital stay, 35 of them in the ICU hovering between life and death. It is only by God’s grace and mercy that I survived against impossible medical odds. I was fifty one years old at the time. It is sobering to me that I never should have woken up from my drug induced coma or seen my 52nd birthday.



None of us know how many days are allotted to us except God who wrote each one of them in his book long before we were born. What we do know is that God gives us the time we need to fulfill His assignment for us on this earth just as He did Jesus. This is why intentional living is so important. We want to live at the intersection of His call and His gifting for His purposes.


Living with clarity is living with the recognition that life is a gift, each day is a day of grace and life’s duration is uncertain. Therefore we want to live with as little unfinished business in our lives as possible. There is great freedom in that because unfinished business is like weights in our backpacks that we carry around – burdens that weigh on our conscience or hearts. That weight can be areas of our lives that we have not completely given to God, relationships that are broken and need reconciliation, things that God has been nudging us about but we have not responded, or other areas of life where we have unresolved issues.


People of deep influence live with great freedom because they are intentional about living with as little unfinished business as possible. To the extent that it depends on them they do what they can to live in the freedom of a clear conscience before God and others. Paul lived this way and wrote to the Corinthians….


Periodically I ask myself what unfinished business there is in my life. Usually there is some since God continually reveals to me new areas where I need to press into Him or pursue a higher level of obedience. We will never be free from all unfinished business until we see Him face to face but continually closing that gap rather than living with the burden is freedom.


This is also why I live with an annual plan (Key Result Areas and my Annual Ministry Plan). In living intentionally rather than accidentally I ensure that I do not forget what God’s big rocks for my life are and that I have a plan for living them out. Each month, on my retreat day I revisit that annual plan and realign my life and priorities around it. At the end of each year I craft my plan for the coming year. This applies to both my professional and personal life.


A critical area for unfinished business is in the area of relationships. This side of heaven we will never be free from conflict in relationships. The Apostle Paul had people who intentionally hurt his ministry. In addition, there were relational breakdowns with Barnabas who had mentored and encouraged him over another relational breakdown with John Mark. Jesus had his detractors in the Pharisees. And in leadership, there will always be people who disagree with a leader’s direction or simply don’t like him or her. It is one of the inevitable burdens of leadership.


People of deep influence understand this. But they are also men and women of peace who are always willing – to the extent that they can – to bring relational peace and understanding. They will go the second and third mile to resolve what can be resolved and then live at peace with what cannot be resolved.


This is not an easy discipline. It means that when others fight dirty with us we don’t respond with their tactics (innocent as doves but wary as serpents). Sometimes, living at peace means that we live with the pain that others inflict and leave our reputations to God. Sometimes it means that we agree to disagree but refuse to fight, slander or impugn those who may do that to us. Sometimes it means sitting down and listening carefully, trying to understand another’s point of view even if we do not agree with is.


This is not about accepting unbiblical behavior – which so often occurs in the church or Christian organizations behind a masquerade of spiritual rhetoric. It does mean that we do not respond in the spirit that others may display toward us and that to the extent that we can we will live at peace with all people. Where we need to confront we will do so with honesty but also the desire for understanding and reconciliation. When that is not possible we may have to take action as leaders but we remain committed to displaying Godly character and not sinning ourselves in our anger or pain.


The test of our character is not when all is going well but when we are under attack. That is when what God has built into our core being, the recesses of our lives becomes evident. People of deep influence are slow to anger, willing to confront in love, always desire understanding and reconciliation, are wise and measured in their response to attack and refuse to adopt the tactics of revenge but leave their reputations in the hands of God.


This last issue of our reputation is perhaps one of the hardest lessons to learn. I have had periods of life where my reputation was dragged through the mud by those who despised me. I don’t know of any good leader who has no had this happen to them. Everything in me wanted to fight back, set the record straight and get even with those who had inflicted deep pain.


One of the most valuable lessons I learned from David in Psalm 73 and 37 is that at the end of the day, God is able to defend my reputation far better than I ever can – and when I try I end up adopting the very tactics that I found repugnant. What God wanted of me is to live with His character, in the power of His spirit and let Him deal with those who hurt me in His (usually) gentle way and allow Him to deal with my reputation. It is in these times when I learned the most valuable lessons of character and leadership.


There is great freedom in keeping unfinished business to a minimum. It is the freedom that comes from living out the clarity of what God has called us to without the burden of heavy emotional loads or unclear consciences to weigh us down.

Saying No and feeling good about it

Living with clarity is all about understanding what God has called us too personally and the team or organization we lead. A test of our clarity is our ability to say no – often – and feel good about it afterwards!



This may sound strange as most of us are wired to say yes – or more accurately, wired to please others. We have been trained that yes is a positive word and no is a negative word. The truth is that for people who live with great clarity of God’s call on their lives, yes is often a negative word and no is often a positive word.


Clarity is understanding who we are and what God has called us to do. By definition that means clarity also defines who we are not and what God has not called us to do. Yet, the activity of our lives, the expectations of others and the opportunities that come to people of influence all conspire to take clarity and turn it into functional ambiguity.


Yes and no are two of the most powerful words in any language. They define what is important to us, what we are called to and how we will invest our time. The test of personal clarity is our ability to use both words and feel good about it because in doing so – even saying no often – we are actually protecting the calling God has on our lives and refusing to be diverted by good but not essential activities.


As a young leader I was more driven by yes than no, both because I wanted to please those I led and because I did not have the focused clarity I have today. The years have been a progression of greater clarity and self-definition driven by better understanding of what God has called me to uniquely do.


This is equally true on an organizational level. Every organization has a mission that defines it and hopefully guiding principles, a central ministry focus and a culture that it is intentionally creating. That clarity of focus can easily be subverted by trying to be everything to everyone, whether in a church or other ministry. Leaders spend a great amount of time and attention to bringing maximum clarity to the organization they lead and then keeping that clarity in front of everyone all the time.


This requires the discipline and the courage to say no to many good things that are not congruent with the main things God has called that ministry to. I lead an international mission whose mission is to see Gospel centered churches multiplied worldwide. While we are holistic in our approach we do not engage in holistic ministry that is unrelated to the multiplication of Gospel centered churches. We are not called primarily to be an aid organization but to see Gospel centered churches multiplied. This means that we must say no to many good opportunities in order to say yes to the call of God on our international mission.


This is the central point either personally or organizationally. A no is really a yes. In saying no to many things we say yes to the specific call of God on our lives or our ministry. Following the call of God is an ongoing series of yes and no choices that keep us in the lane He has called us to be in. Seen in that light, both yes and no are positive words and they represent intentional choices that allow us to fulfill God’s unique call on our lives.


People of deep influence are highly focused individuals who understand, embrace and live out God’s call on their lives. That clarity allows them to maximize their influence in line with their gifting. They understand that diffuse focus yields diffuse results while a laser focus yields powerful results and their choices reflect that intentional focus.


In my role I do a great deal of international travel. While in the past I might do a variety of things internationally, today my focus is very specific: training and mentoring ReachGlobal or national leaders, helping leaders think strategically about their ministries and teaching leadership principles. There are many other qualified individuals who can do other things but this is what I am best at and therefore where I will have the most impact. If these elements are not present I will usually say no to a request for my international presence.


It is the clarity of understanding God’s call on my life and His gifting that allows me to determine what I say yes or no to - and to feel good about the decision. And with that clarity comes great freedom to be the person God created me to be.

Knowing what God has called us to do

Earlier this week I received an updated life plan from a friend which he updates on a periodic basis. It is his best read on what God is calling him to do with his life based on his passion and gifting. Once a month on his personal retreat day he will review that plan knowing that while the specifics of where he might work or the position he might have are unknowns, that the major roles he desires to play are roles that he believes were made for him.



As we mature we come to realize that there are roles in life that we do not want to play and are not gifted for. Knowing what we don’t want to do narrows the field. The next area of helpful clarity is understanding the roles that we believe God created us for and it comes from a deep understanding of our strengths, our God given passions and the formative streams that make up our life story.


This is what I know about myself:


 I love to write and I believe God desires that it be a major part of what I do


 I am a third culture kid to the core who needs international involvement


 I am passionate about the spread of the church globally


 I love to lead and I need an organization to lead


 I care deeply about intentional living


 I love to develop new leaders at a high level


Consider taking a moment and making the short list of what you know about yourself. My own current role would be seen as convergence between what I know about myself and the role I play. Along my career path I had pieces of these but it was not until I was in my late forties that I had all of them. Of course, I did not know myself as well in the earlier years either as self knowledge takes time and experimentation along the way. The good thing is that it is often in our fifties and sixties that we have the most significant influence and a good part of that is being clear about what God has called us to do.


Assuming you took some moments to make the short list, how much convergence is there between what you know about yourself and God’s call on your life and where you are in your current role. My friend who has a life plan has come to the conclusion that he must change roles – and quickly – because he is not in a place of convergence – his sweet spot – and the lack of convergence is causing him significant unhappiness. He is not in a place where he can significantly play to his strengths.


Knowing what God has called us to do is a very freeing thing. That clarity allows us to say no to all kinds of opportunities and the freedom to focus in on those opportunities that best fit us and God’s macro call on our lives. The specifics may change but the macro themes should become clearer and more focused as we move into our fifties and sixties.

Being Comfortable in our own Skin

The self assurance that comes with being comfortable in our own skin is a huge gift when we achieve it. For me it took many years. This is a combination of understanding ourselves, knowing our strengths and shadow sides, and the lane we were made to run in. It is living with a divine OK that we are who we are and that we are not what we are not – and never will be and that too is OK. It is the place where we no longer have anything to prove or lose so there is the freedom to just be who God made us to be.



As a child I was painfully shy. Pictures of our family at the beach always had me holding a book. I had a book everywhere I went and while I had a few close friends, my friendships were not wide. When we arrived back from Hong Kong in 1971 I attended a high school where the idea of travelling was going deer hunting in Wisconsin! My world had been huge, and now I was with people whose world was very small. I fit in but I didn’t.


At the same time I was thrust into leadership positions – youth group, Inter-Varsity, Senior Pastor – an interesting juxtaposition for someone as reserved as I was. And, like many young leaders, I had both confidence in my leadership and suffered at times from insecurity – hidden from others of course. The truth was that I was not yet comfortable in my own skin and lived at times with significant anxiety, especially when I was taking shots from others in the pastorate.


Getting to comfort in our own skin is essential to a leader. It takes time and intentionality. For me it took time to learn to enjoy being an introvert in an extrovert job and today it fits me well. It took time to learn that I didn’t have to have the answer to all problems, or live with anxiety when crisis hit. It took time to learn to trust my instincts when I needed to make a call.


Intentionality is part of the equation too. Learning to live with a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude lifts all kinds of weight from our shoulders. Choosing to be transparent rather than holding our cards close to our vest allows others to understand us. Learning how to be self defining, honest and upfront while still staying connected to those who might disagree with us keeps us in relationship rather than cutting relationships off.


Being OK with who God made me to be is a component of being comfortable in our own skin. I can become a better me but I will always be me and not someone else, no matter how hard I try. I will always be a slightly reserved, analytical leader with a few deep relationships who loves to lead through team, conquer territory for Jesus, enjoys work more than play (fly fishing and time with close friends excepted), is the product of an international upbringing and needs to explore the world and has an irrational optimism for the church of Christ. That is me and I am comfortable with me because God chose to make me who I am. I figure He knew something I didn’t and He is God and I am not! Fortunately for the world there is only one me.


Now here comes the rub for all of us. There will be those who don’t like the me that God made us to be. They want us to be a different version of me that better fits their concept of a leader. I have had my share of those who were convinced either that God made a mistake in the me He crafted or that I was unqualified to be their leader. If you lead, you know what I am talking about. In my early years as a leader, I was tempted to try to be who they wanted me to be but it never worked. God made me the way He made me and I will never be someone else. Today, I am not threatened by those who think I should be a different version of me. Not only will it not happen but it is not what God intended.


This is where leading through team is so important. I have many deficits but the better the team that I have, the fewer those deficits impact the organization as a whole. If someone in the organization does not like my leadership style there is certainly someone on the team that they resonate with.


Understanding ourselves and how we are wired is crucial to becoming comfortable in our own skin. In addition, growing our EQ health is equally important. Those who are comfortable in their own skin either are so because of deep arrogance (I am right so I don’t have to worry about what others think) or are deeply cognizant of who they are (strengths and weaknesses) and are sensitive to the needs and issues of others. The former “comfortableness” is damaging to those around them. The latter is a comfortableness of understanding, wiring, calling, and deep humility that allows one to lead from who God made them to be and with great sensitivity to those around them.


Humility is central to this equation. Pride is concerned about how others see us, being right, managing our reputation and image. Humility is knowing that we have nothing to prove and nothing to lose, that we don’t need to manage our reputation or image and that we are simply broken vessels (the Apostle Paul’s words) whom God uses for His purposes. In fact, I thank God for every fissure and crack in the pottery that makes me who I am because those divine scars made me comfortable in my own skin.

Pursuing Wisdom

Conventional wisdom is always conventional and rarely wisdom. All one needs to do is to look at the life choices so many make to know that true wisdom is in short supply today. The book of Proverbs says that there is no greater gift than that of wisdom which starts with the Fear of the Lord and then cascades down into our lives, relationships, priorities, and ministries. All of life is to be soaked in the wisdom from above (James).



From a Biblical perspective, wisdom is the ability to look at life, situations and relationships from God’s viewpoint and to respond in ways that are consistent with His character but which are also smart and prudent. Wisdom takes into account potential solutions and unintended consequences. It then charts a course of action that is most likely to be productive and minimize the unintended consequences.


From time to time as an organizational leader I have had to intentionally move someone out of the organization because of disruptive behavior. As a leader I have the responsibility to guard the ministry. As a Christ follower, I want to do so in as redemptive a way possible. How I proceed is a matter of wisdom, taking into account all the relevant factors, including the knowledge that the individual in question has a constituency and that if my actions are perceived as being harsh or unfair, they will respond negatively and cause additional issues for the organization.


Wisdom requires the pursuit of God, the pursuit of an understanding of ourselves, the counsel of others and a willingness to go against the tide of conventional thinking. For men and women of deep influence, the pursuit of wisdom and the translation of wisdom into the everyday situations they face is a top priority. A life of wisdom creates a powerful influence because it is a living out of the very wisdom of God.


Wise individuals think deeper, act slower and with more prudence and forethought than those who lack wisdom. Because of their measured responses they are more likely to act with both grace and truth and minimize unintended consequences. They can both think grey and be decisive when they need to be. They are unthreatened by other strong opinions and invite those opinions to the table. They are also wise enough to know what they don’t know and to listen carefully to others. They are genuine pursuers of wisdom.


As I have matured in my own life I have learned that knee jerk reactions to situations are usually more harmful than productive. I have learned to curb my tendency to becoming anxious over situations that produce the need to act “now.” Rather I have learned that time is usually on my side, that trustworthy counselors will keep me from making foolish decisions and that measured responses are far better than quick responses. In essence, I have grown in wisdom and that growth has helped me lead better and has resulted in deeper influence.


I am a fan of the wisdom literature in Scripture. I am challenged by what is classified as “foolish” and drawn to the life of the “wise.” I see where I have been the fool and where I have grown in my wisdom. I am reminded that truly wise individuals are contrarian thinkers in the eyes of the world. They go against the stream of common wisdom. I am also reminded that it is as I think deeply and Biblically and heed the counsel of other wise individuals that I am at my best and avoid my worst. And finally, I am reminded of how far I have to go!

Thinking Leverage in our Lives

One of the reasons that some develop deep influence is that they are always looking for ways to leverage their lives, opportunities and ministries. It is a way of thinking. My writing is about leverage. I can reach far more people by writing than I can otherwise. I was so committed to that leverage that I self published my first two books when publishers said there was no market – and the books were later picked up by NavPress.



In our discussion on intentional living I wrote about the importance of thinking through how we use our most valuable resource – our time. Wise individuals leverage their time whenever possible in order to leverage that resource. When I travel, I often bring others with me which exposes them to the world of missions and gives me time to develop a relationship. When I speak, I will use that material for blogs or writing when I can. Instead of traveling to many different locations when international I will instead invite people to come to where I am. It is all about maximizing opportunity for kingdom purposes.


In my fifties, I know that what I leave behind in others is more powerful than what I can accomplish myself. Thus, a great part of my time and energy today goes into mentoring and coaching others. My investment in their lives and ministries is leverage for me because their contribution multiplies my contribution.


Life should not be seen as a series of random “one off” events but rather one of interconnected ministry activities that if thought through and wisely planned can provide a critical mass of opportunity that allow us to leverage our time, gifting and activity. Jesus was a master of this: by living life with his disciples, every event, conversation or situation became an opportunity to grow them and of course, in the power of the Holy Spirit, they launched the church on his ascension.


The example of Christ, where he involved his disciples (both the twelve and a larger group of followers) in His life and ministry is a powerful one because we have the same opportunity. Why do something by ourselves if we can involve others? Recently I was involved in a situation where ministry relationships were strained and needed to be sorted out. Rather than deal with it by myself – even though I was the primary player to do so – I brought two other leaders with me. In the process they learned some lessons in conflict resolution.


Wise leaders also think leverage when it comes to spending ministry dollars. I have some ministry friends who have a propensity to think very big when it comes to budgets for various initiatives. One of them asks my advice from time to time and I tell him that I always divide his monetary needs by ten and that is what he ought to be spending. Perhaps it is because many ministry folks have never been in business where the bottom line actually matters. They just think God will provide and rather than thinking leverage they try to raise far more than is actually needed.


Leaders of deep influence do not waste time, resources, opportunities, relationships, or strategy: they always look for ways to leverage these God given resources for maximum ministry impact. It is a way of thinking – and a contrarian way of thinking at that.

Personal Development

One of the key distinctions of people of deep influence is that they have a lifelong passion for personal and professional development. They are deeply intentional about their growth because they are driven by the desire to have influence for God. That desire motivates them to become the best me they can be. They are as intentional in this area of life as in the others we have examined.




As a young leader I thought I knew quite a lot. Today I know how much I don’t know and the number of things I am sure of are fewer – but my convictions on those things stronger.


The main enemy of ongoing development is often laziness, or choosing to settle for what is rather than what could be. When Paul talks about forgetting the past and pressing into the future, running the race as one who wants to win the prize, he is speaking the language of one who is always reaching for a way to accomplish more and is never satisfied with where they are. This is not about being driven but about being intentional for the sake of our personal and ministry influence on behalf of Christ.


Our mentors


All of us need mentors and the wisest of us have multiple mentors since no one person is capable of providing everything we need. Personally I have set of people I consider informal mentors in my life, each of whom speaks from a different but wise perspective and all of whom are people of deep influence to me.


For me, these are people who I deeply respect and trust and who I learn something from each time I am with them. They are relationships based on friendship and it is a two way relationship where iron sharpens iron. In am convinced that the quality of our friendships – and their depth – has a significant influence on who we become so I choose those friendships carefully and nurture them often.


In some cases I have a monthly phone call with another leader whom I respect and know and simply talk through mutual issues that we face. In the give and take of those conversations both of us usually leave with something new to consider. Again, it is informal and based on mutual respect and a desire to sharpen one another.


In our association of churches (the EFCA) we seek to connect leaders and pastors with one another through a list serve. It could be a list serve for pastors who lead churches of one thousand plus, or another affinity group of churches within a certain size limit. We also have a list serve for executive pastors. When one of the members of the list serve has a question or is looking for a solution to a specific problem they will put it out on the list serve and they have dozens of fellow mentors sharing their perspective or experience. Through the group process of affinity, experience is shared, solutions proposed and relationships established. Many times a good idea will simply go viral within the group because of the affinity groups list serve.


There are many ways to connect with people who deal with the kinds of issues you deal with. The key is to be intentional in making those connections.


Mentors can also be people we engage for a specific issue we are facing in our leadership, or they can be ongoing coaches for a period of time to help us through a transition or simply to help us grow in a specific area. I serve as a mentor to a number of people on a monthly or as desired basis. It is mainly about helping people think through options and to ask the right questions.


Even if it means hiring a mentor to help you grow in a specific area, if that mentor has expertise it is well worth the financial investment if it can launch one to the next level of effectiveness. We often underestimate the value of making financial investments in areas that can help us grow in a quantum rather than incremental way. People of deep influence are always thinking leverage and a coach or consultant can provide significant leverage in a short amount of time. The financial investment is small compared to the expertise and help gained.


Discerning areas of specific growth


Leaders usually have an intuitive sense about areas where they need to grow. And each of us have individual needs. Intentional development means that we don’t ignore those areas and have a plan for how we will press into them. All of us should be able to identify a handful of areas where our growth could make a significant difference in our effectiveness. Once we know what they are, we can look for ways that we can grow in one or two of those areas over the next year.


Consider asking your team from time to time what areas of growth they see for you. They know you well and asking them for feedback honors your relationship and models an open and nothing to prove/nothing to lose attitude. By your very vulnerability you will gain the respect of your team. And it gives you added credibility when you suggest to them potential areas of development. In our organization, personal development is the first and a required Key Result Area annually.

Distraction Management

Distractions are the leaks in our commitment to intentional living. They cause us to leak time, energy and influence. Someone has said that if the evil one cannot convince us to sin he will tie us up with distractions. Distractions either manage us or we manage them. And unless actively managed, they will manage us.



Managing distractions is the realization that our attention can easily be diverted from what we really need to do. And, distractions can be a secretly welcomed diversion from doing more difficult or important things. In fact, some people will go find a distraction if one does not find them first. Managing distractions is not about avoiding people or being unresponsive to real situations that may demand our attention. It is about having a plan to manage what otherwise becomes a deadly leak to the priorities we must fulfill.






Cell phones have voice mail


For many of us our primary number is our cell number. Few people call my office number (only those who don’t know me) and no one calls my home number (I don’t have a land line). Welcome to the efficiency of communication and one of the greatest distractions of all.


Fortunately, we have voice mail and caller ID. When spending focused time, avoid answering the phone unless the person calling is on your “can disturb” list (I have about 20 of those). Chances are that when you listen to the VM you will be glad you did.


Schedule phone appointments


I am accessible to anyone who has a valid reason to talk to me. What I am not available for are random phone calls (unless one is on the “can disturb” list). I intentionally set aside time in my week for phone appointments which are scheduled by my administrative assistant, Rene, for a specific time and a specific amount of time. That way I am accessible but I have control over the time of the appointment and how long it lasts.


Use a gate keeper


Not everyone has this luxury but if you have an assistant, use them to vet the calls that come in or the requests for appointments. Here is the truth: many people want a piece of a leader but not everyone should get the face time. If someone calls, Rene will find out who they are and why they are calling. She will often know whether I should take the call or someone else. If someone else, she will route them to the right person. If in doubt she will talk to me and then schedule either a personal or phone appointment accordingly.


Because my assistant knows my personal priorities I give her permission to push into me if she thinks that I don’t need to be in a meeting or say yes to a request. I have always been blessed with confident, assertive and helpful assistants who speak their mind and “manage up” very well. I am far better for each of them.


Schedule email


I receive in excess of one hundred emails on a given day. Since I am committed to responding to any email from my world wide staff I need to schedule specific time when I pay attention to email and times when I ignore it in order to get something else done. I also give my assistant access to my email account so that she can respond to issues that don’t need my response. Generally I will schedule email time during the periods of the day when I will not be as productive – afternoons – so that I save the best hours for the most significant activity.


The “open” door


Sometimes my door is not open! I may be in a meeting, or, engaged in something that requires my focus. Open door policies are nice but not very effective – if the result is that there are constant interruptions. I am always available to my senior team if they really need me but scheduling appointments is usually the way we meet. It can be a five minute appointment or an hour or longer but scheduling them helps.


Skype


Travel is a time killer and I travel a lot. But, I am also realizing that there are times when an Internet meeting will be as effective as when one is physically face to face. On the Internet one can be face to face and it saves money, energy and time. That money, energy and time can be invested elsewhere. I still travel but I now ask the question, is there an alternative way to have this meeting?


The coffee shop


For many of us the “office” is the last place where we get our work done. I schedule days when my assistant, Rene, can put appointments on my calendar. When I am in the office I am pretty accessible. I then schedule blocks of time, entire days and sometimes a set of days when I work either from home, the coffee shop or a remote office. It allows me to concentrate on issues that I need to concentrate on.


Block scheduling


Block scheduling is a simple tool that can help us manage distractions. Rather than doing five things at once and allowing phone, email and people to constantly interrupt, blocking several hours (or longer) for one task that allows us to focus without interruptions. Block scheduling takes more discipline but it is far more productive than juggling numerous issues at once.


Communication with your team on what works well for you


As part of playing to your strengths is it always helpful to have a dialogue with your team on what works best for you in terms of your productivity. I have found that teams I led have been very flexible and even encouraging of those things that allow me to lead better, use my time wisely and serve them well. They will help you if they know what you need in order to be effective.


Schedule proactively and ahead


Our calendars are the way we connect the compass (our priorities) with the clock (our own time management). There are a number of components that make up our schedules. First, there are ongoing obligations that we have. These would be set meetings that are part of the rhythm of the organization or team you lead. They go on first because they are non-negotiable items. For me this includes my key leadership meetings and the monthly meetings I have with those who report to me. The last are usually scheduled on “non-travel” days at the beginning of each month.


Second, there are big rocks (our priorities) that must be accomplished over the course of the next months or year. Because these are the things that must be done in order for you to be effective as a leader, they get blocked out next on your calendar so that you know you have the time to pay attention to them. Because one of my five priorities is writing, I will block days or even weeks when that is all that is on the schedule (knowing that I still need to keep up with day to day issues).


Included in this second category should be the time we need to think, read, and consider issues important to the organization, team or ministry we lead. Unless we specifically schedule think time, we will probably not get it. And this time is perhaps some of the most important time we need to be leaders of deep influence.


Just as think time is so important, those things that recharge us emotionally, physically and spiritually are also key components of a healthy life and those times need to get scheduled in so that we don’t lose our edge. For me that is time for rest, reading, chainsaw therapy on some acreage we have and fly fishing. For many years, we have simply kept the month of August completely free for rest.


Third, there are times when we just need to be available for our team or for appointments – phone or in person. I block “office days” on my calendar so that my assistant (gate keeper) can schedule those I need to have face time with. These are days or blocks of time when I am available to meet.


Fourth, comes everything else but notice that the key is scheduling is to schedule in order of priority – the most important gets scheduled before the least important. The alternative is that the less important will often crowd out the more important, to the leakage ultimately of our effectiveness and influence. While this kind of scheduling limits our options (we cannot live by the seat of our pants) it helps us use our time with greater discipline and intentionality.


Factored into our schedules should be enough margin to deal with the unexpected issues or emergencies that arise. With some margin, schedules can be rearranged when necessary without losing time for the four categories above.


Prayerfully consider your calendar – it is the checkbook of your most important resource – time.


Because our calendar is the checkbook of our time and because every time check we write is an investment, it pays to be highly intentional about what we put on the calendar – and to prayerfully consider the time checks we write. Like you I receive more opportunities and requests than I can adequately fulfill. I know that God does not want me to live a frenetic life and that He gives me the time to do what He has called me to do. It is up to me to be wise about the choices I make so that I play to my strengths, fulfill my responsibilities, lead well, set a good example to my team and live intentionally.


That is why I give my calendar so much attention. I will often think grey about requests or opportunities and pray about them as I consider the next three to six months of my schedule. Thinking grey (not making a decision) allows me to think through the ramifications of the time check I am thinking of writing and whether it is the right thing for me at this time, given the other obligations I have.


If I sense a green light I move forward and schedule it, if it is a red light I am free to decline and if a yellow light, I continue to think grey. My nemesis is saying “yes” to quickly and writing the time check too fast. When I do that too often I end up tired and depleted and what usually suffers are the most important things. Thus I am constantly looking at my calendar in order to make the very best time investment decisions possible because that is tied directly to my ability to have deep influence.


Because I know that each opportunity is an investment, I will often include my trusted colleague Gary, and my wife Mary Ann into the discussion. They will bring wisdom and perspective that is very helpful.


When present be fully present


Intentionality with our calendar means that we are not always available for everyone. This is a reality of leadership, especially as our responsibilities grow. One way to compensate for this and to continue to be seen as available and approachable is to find times when you can be present and available. For instance, a pastor of a large church whom I know stays around after the Sunday morning service until everyone who wants to see him has done so. While it may be hard to schedule a meeting with him during the week, anyone who wants to talk to him on Sunday can do so.


As the leader of a large international ministry I will never get to all the countries we work in or be able to visit all the teams we have. But I can attend meetings like the Divisional Conferences and during those days be available for anyone who wants to interact. It is an intentional way to be accessible even with a very disciplined schedule that is necessary in my leadership role.

Church Board Development

One of the key ongoing commitments of a good governance board is that of improving its work. In fact, most non-profit boards actually have a board development committee whose mandate it is to help the board grow, develop, become more knowledgeable board members and perform at a higher level.


Church boards ought to take a page from that playbook. While they often evaluate the senior pastor (which is good) they rarely evaluate themselves (which is bad). Governance or leadership is serious business and its quality determines the quality of the ministry of the church. Yet few church boards have a plan for ongoing development.


There are any number of areas where church boards can improve their effectiveness: Here are a number to consider.


1. Are we clear as to what our job is? Are we here to keep tabs on the pastor? Are we hear to guard the status quo? Are we here to move the ministry of the church down the field in line with a core ministry philosophy? Do we know why we are here and do all of our board members abide by the same premise?


2. Do we have efficient and effective meetings? Does each meeting have a clear agenda? Do we stay on task and avoid rabbit trails? Are we dealing with the truly big ministry rocks rather than the pebbles that someone else could be dealing with? Is the board chair given the authority to plan and lead effective meetings?


3. Do we have healthy relationships on the board and do we practice biblical conflict resolution? Are we able to have robust discussion at board meetings without personal attacks or hidden agendas. Do board members keep conversations from the board room confidential? Do we have a means of dealing with rogue board members who have their own agendas and keep the board from moving forward?


4. Do we have an efficient decision making progress or are we constantly rehashing decisions that have already been made? Are we easily intimidated by loud voices in the congregation who may disagree with decisions of the board. Do all board members support decisions made?


5. Do we spend quality time in prayer and biblical reflection around critical issues of ministry or are we so focused on day to day issues that we never get there. Is the spiritual temperature of the board high or low? What evidence is there to support our conclusion?


6. Do we have a really good plan for choosing the very best people for our board or are we at the whim of a process that leaves our board open to unqualified and uncooperative members who drive their own agendas. How do we guard our gate of leadership? How could we do it better?


Board development can change the effectiveness of church boards and change the experience that individuals have in serving on it. If you do not do board development on an ongoing basis, I would urge you to seriously consider it.

A Theology of Time

When scripture says, “Teach us to number our days,” it put its finger on a simple but profound truth. Our time is limited and therefore how we spend our time is important. In fact, time is one of the only things that one cannot get more of. Money comes and goes but time simply goes. Every day is one day closer to eternity and a day that we cannot get back.



Think of how often you consider your financial investments or how carefully you think through purchases since for most of us, money is in limited supply. If that is true with money that fluctuates over the years, how much more true it is of time which cannot be reclaimed. Wise individuals budget their money, prioritizing their spending. Wise leaders likewise budget their time and prioritize their allocation of that time.


For leaders, time is the most precious commodity and every time we say yes to something we alternatively say no to something else. That means that if we agree to something that is good but not essential we have eliminated the opportunity to give time to the essential. Leaders cannot overestimate the value of their time and the importance of evaluating the choices they have given their limited hours.


Because we do not think of time like money, we often do not think carefully about time we give away. After all, someone needs a piece of us, or they want us at a meeting, or it would be nice to have us at a conference. All good things, perhaps, but if we were being asked for money we would not quickly say yes but would want to think about it, pray about it and consider because our money is limited and we only want to invest it in important things. So with our time: thinking of time like money makes one realize that every hour, every meeting, every trip, every day we give away is an investment and given the nature of time, an expensive one.


I had this very conversation with a ministry leader I coach last week. Like many leaders he is constantly trying to figure out how to fit in all the commitments he has. So I asked him about his upcoming schedule. He had a trip to Europe scheduled and had given away five days to one ministry leader there. I asked how much time it would take to actually get done what he needed to get done and he said, two days. I pointed out that he had just given away one fourth of his month. Then I shocked him by suggesting that every day he gives away is equivalent to $5,000 dollars and that he had just given away $25,000 worth of time. Not that he gets paid that much but his time is valuable and if one put a cost to each of his days, he is worth at least that. It was a different way of thinking and it got his attention, and a modification to his trip.


Time is precious and often, the very fact that leaders are not disciplined in their use of time at work compromises their ability to be present with their wives, families or friends or to be with people when they really need us. To say nothing about what our schedules often do to time we spend with Jesus, whom all of our energy is dedicated in the first place. Never underestimate the implications of choices we make about how we spend our time. For people of deep influence it matters.

Determining what missionaries to support

The question of who a church should support as missionaries is always a critical one for a local church. Often, the selection of missionaries is far less rigorous than the selection of church staff. It can be based on emotion, on sole fact that the individual grew up in your church or all too often it is simply a relative of someone in the church and they press for the church to support their family member. None of these are good reasons in themselves to take precious ministry resources and spend them.



One local church I know has been working on a grid to use in their evaluation of who to support. I want to share this with you because it indicates the kind of thinking that should go into such a decision. They have six factors which they consider.


Probability of success:


To what extent do they have a proven track record in the venture they are seeking support for? How does their past track record inform the probability of future success? Are they in a proven sweet spot for them?


Congregational support:


Since our goal is to provide more than money, to what extent are they known and embraced by the broad membership and those regularly attending our church? How long and to what extent have they been a part of our body? This will be a reflection of the amount of prayer, relational and emotional support by the entire body. And the more the GO team supports people that have broad support the more the body will become invested in and value the GO programs. And it will be an indication of their ability to gather support from others in the body and not just from the church budget. Although it may seem counter intuitive, the more we believe they can gather support from the body, the greater the support they will have from the church budget - within limits of course.


Alignment with our church’s mission


To what extent is the venture to which they are seeking support in alignment with the mission of our church? To what extent is their venture, mission critical to the mission or objectives of our church? By supporting their mission, to what extent will this help us to fulfill our mission?


Who is their sending agency?


To what extent do we know the practices and health of the sending agency? Who they go out with has a big impact on their oversight and management support which greatly impacts their success and whether they will burn out. All agencies are not created equal. The permissive and liberal practices of some agencies, although initially attractive to missionaries on intake, can result in their failure on the field.


Proven character, relational health & high emotional intelligence.


To what extent do we know about their proven, godly character? How have they demonstrated relational health and responsiveness to authority? How high is their EQ? Since the number one failure of missionaries on the field is relational conflicts with others, what do we know about this area of their lives?


Probable Strategic Impact


Not all missionary ventures have equal strategic impact in the kingdom. Some will often have more impact than others. Some ventures will have more kingdom impact than others. This is not an issue of faithfulness but of broad significant impact. To what extent will the venture have broad significant Kingdom impact?

Transformation of our Priorities

It is the transformation of our thoughts and the bringing of them into alignment with how Christ thinks that makes possible the third area of needed transformation – that of our priorities. Our priorities reveal what is truly important to us rather than what we claim is important to us.



Jesus made an amazing statement in John 6:38, considering that He was one of the three members of the trinity. He said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.” Here was Jesus committed to doing the will of His father, in submission to His father’s will. His highest priority was to do the will of the one who sent Him.


In the same vein, speaking to His disciples he said, “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” For the Christ follower, life is not about us – it is all about Him. To the extent that we believe that life is about Him and that we are here to do His will, we will consult Him regarding what is truly important in our lives.


One of the fundamental decisions each of us makes is whether life is about us or about Christ! Life about us is about our agenda while life about Christ is about His agenda, knowing that He wants to use us to advance His agenda in our world. The two choices are mutually exclusive and how we answer that question will directly determine the influence we have for Him.


Even after we have answered that mega question we face the micro questions in many different ways each day, each week, each month, each year. Life is a series of choices and those choices are smaller versions of the bigger question: Is life about me or about God?


The question of our life agendas is a deeply personal one that requires significant thought and introspection. I know pastors, for instance whose motivation is all about success as defined by numbers which looks very much like a personal agenda. I meet other pastors whose motivation is all about helping God’s people become all that they can be which looks very much like God’s agenda. Both are involved in God’s work but their priorities are different. It is all too possible to be in full time ministry with agendas and priorities that are more about us than about God.


As I lead an international organization, I am always faced by the personal question, is this about me as a leader, or is this about God and His mission for our world? The question is not how others see me (it is always possible to portray a God agenda) but my own personal agendas and motivations and therefore priorities. Are they driven by my ambition and goals or is my ambition that of fulfilling God’s purposes and goals. Without introspection on this issue it is possible to fooled about whose priorities we are looking after and probably all of us have occasions or periods when it is more about us than it is about God. And it is often when we have our priorities mixed up that we get ourselves into trouble.


I believe that the question of agendas and priorities becomes more significant as we grow in our leadership responsibility and scope. Responsibility brings with it power and authority. Success brings with it a history of making more right calls than wrong calls. Thus the temptation to act personally without considering God’s agenda or priorities grows as our self confidence grows. Ironically, the more successful we are the more critical it is to ensure that we understand our motivations and that they are centered on accomplishing God’s will rather than our own.

Our Thinking and Transformation

Paul makes a remarkable statement about how he lived life when he said, “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Think about the picture he paints with this metaphor: taking captive – bringing into submission every thought to make those thoughts obedient to Christ.



What does it mean to make our thoughts obedient to Christ? The implication is that our thoughts can be disobedient to Christ or obedient to Christ! We often think about actions or behaviors that are disobedient or obedient to Christ. But the source of either disobedience or obedience lies first and fundamentally in how we think and whether our thinking is in sync with Christ.


Taking every thought captive is really about intentionally seeking to align our thinking with how God thinks. It is understanding His concerns and making them our concerns, grasping His priorities and making them our priorities, seeking always to understand how Christ would view the issues we are facing or thinking and aligning our thinking with His.


I have often taught in various countries and cultures and received the response when talking about ethical issues that Scriptures speak to, “but this is how we do it in our country” even when their practices are in direct violation of Biblical teaching. My standard response is “there is a way of doing it in your country and a way of doing it in my country but there is also a way of doing it in God’s Kingdom and that is our central concern because we are members of His kingdom.” I say that knowing that for every one of us there are areas where we find it desperately hard to bring our thinking into alignment with Christ’s because we know that in doing so there is a cost to our autonomy! And sometimes it is very inconvenient.


One of the reasons that people of deep influence immerse themselves in Scripture is that they understand that it is the key to understanding the heart of God and the mind of God so that they can align their thinking with God’s thinking. As Paul said in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.


As I write this, our nation is in a political battle over immigration reform with loud and obnoxious voices on all sides. It would be easy to simply take a side, depending on one’s political orientation. But there is a deeper question: What does God have to say about how we treat the widow and orphan or the alien in our midst? In other words, does God have anything to say in the din of opinions, fear and agendas? A reading of the Old Testament would suggest that God does have something to say and I am more concerned that I take into account His concerns than I am of the concerns of my particular political party.


Those who are committed to bringing their thoughts into alignment with God’s values and concerns are always asking themselves, “what does God have to say about this issue? They do not simply accept uncritically the thinking of those around them or the prevailing wisdom of their culture. There is a way of viewing issues in our culture but we are people of God’s kingdom and the two are not the same.


The transformation of our minds and thinking takes place as we evaluate our thinking against God’s Word and examine closely the life of Jesus and His teaching in the Gospels to discern how He thinks. And then it is bringing alignment to our own thinking so that it aligns with His thinking. In the process our minds are literally renewed through the truth and light of God and the result is that we are “able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).


Transformation of our minds only takes place with a deep desire on our part to think like Christ and an intentionality to understand His thinking and align my thinking so that it matches His. This requires more than a surface reading of Scripture. It takes a thoughtful approach to His truth, and a willingness to take our thinking captive, in Paul’s terminology and make it obedient to the thinking of Jesus.

Who does God want us to be?

God wants us to be the person he designed and made us to be. He wants you to be the person he designed and made you to be. Paul says in Ephesians 2:10 that “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The word “workmanship” literally means “a unique work of art” indicating that each of us is a uniquely designed work of art by God of which there are no others like us. God designed a unique me, never to be repeated, and a unique you never to be repeated. We are one of a kind!



And in his creativity he wired and gifted us for a unique purpose that only we can fulfill, for we were “created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God created me to lead the organization I lead. He created me to write books. He created me to be a husband of a wonderful woman and two wonderful boys. And he created me for a unique work in his kingdom that I am uniquely wired to fulfill and the same is true for every one of us no matter what our occupation or circumstance.


Finally you and I were created for relationship with Christ and in Christ we have the two desires of every heart: the desire for relationship (I experience that in Christ and His people); and a desire for significance (the unique work God created just for me for).


When I come to Christ and invite him into my life, the unique me that God created me to be does not change. I was hard wired with gifts of vision, strategy and communication. Everything else I was not hardwired for! In coming to Christ, he takes His creation and infuses it with His Holy Spirit empowering the wiring he gave me at birth, forgiving my sin and launches me on a journey that the New Testament calls sanctification – the life long journey of my lower and sinful nature being taken off piece by piece and His holy nature being put on, piece by piece. That journey of sanctification or spiritual transformation is not complete until we meet him face to face in heaven but it is an amazing and wonderful journey to be on.


Many people have the thinking that God wants to change our lives 180 degrees when we come to Him. That is a misunderstanding of God’s intentions. Many of our behaviors will change and need to change 180 degrees but God wants to take His unique creation and complete that creation which was marred by sin entering our world so many eons ago by helping us become the us He made us to be. The process of us realizing the full potential for which we were created is the process of spiritual transformation.


Many people fear the process of spiritual transformation and never embrace it, believing erroneously that it will cost them too much. This fear is the essence of our old sinful nature that craved autonomy. The prophet Isaiah put that autonomy from God this way: “We all like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). Autonomy from God leads away from God and toward our shadow side. Engaging with God in ongoing life transformation leads us toward His life and character – and His impact on others.


Many others simply do not pay enough attention to this aspect of their lives and end up living at a shallow spiritual level (even many in ministry) substituting activity for true life change. It is a trap that prevents many from realizing their full potential or having the kind of deep influence God designed them for. Shallow spiritual lives lead to shallow influence even if masked by impressive achievements. There simply is no substitute for going deep with Christ!


Christ’s vision for our life is very simple: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). There is a direct connection here between the transforming of our lives, the renewing of our minds and our ability to understand “God’s good, pleasing and perfect will!” The ongoing transformation of our lives as a life priority is directly connected with the influence we have and is a prerequisite for being a person of deep influence.


One of the temptations for ministry leaders who live and work in full time vocational ministry is to substitute work for God (our ministry) for the work of God in our hearts and lives. Not only does this substitution hurt the individual involved as they do not become all that God designed them to be but it hurts those that they influence as their model is one of doing rather than one of becoming. This has led to countless Christ followers who have spent their lives focusing on either doing or modifying behaviors to meet the standards of their church or leader without significant transformation of the deepest core of their lives.


It is a matter of priority. If my priority is that of seeing authentic spiritual transformation take place in my life, I will bring all of life under His lordship and will engage in His business and will modify my life in many areas to bring it into alignment with His. But if I focus instead on doing things for Him and modifying my behaviors rather than that of spiritual transformation I will end up frustrated and with a substitute transformation that is more about me than about Him. Too many Christ followers have settled for the latter rather than committing to the former. The first brings real life change while the latter is often little more than legalism. One ministry I work with actually has a guiding principle called “Intimacy before Impact” to remind themselves of the proper priority!