Ten ways pastors and congregations irritate one another in serious ways

Pastors and congregations always have issues with one another, at least among certain individuals. Having worked extensively with both sets (including church leaders as congregants) I would suggest that the following set of five irritants for each party are worth thinking through. It might also make for a robust board/pastor discussion. These irritants may be real or perceptions but either way they are real to those who experience them.

Five ways pastors irritate congregants:
One: Defensiveness. Many congregants or church leaders feel that when they address concerns with their pastor that the response is not a healthy open dialogue but defensiveness as the pastor may take the concern as an attack or criticism of him rather than a suggestion or observation for the ministry. I have seen long term members leave their church (with sadness) because they did not feel as if their senior pastor took their concerns seriously, or even cared they were there. We all know that not all concerns can be addressed but defensiveness or lack of concern causes great irritation on the part of congregants.

Two: Personal agendas. Congregants and church leaders all have a vested stake in what happens in the ministry of the church. When they sense that their senior leader has his own agenda which they feel he is imposing on the congregation without process, feedback or buy in it is deeply discouraging. Yet it is not an uncommon issue, especially as new pastors come in with their dreams and hopes and philosophy without taking into account the dreams, hopes and history of the congregation.

Three: Dismissiveness of the past. New pastors (especially) often talk and act as if all things good started with their tenure and ignore or dismiss the prior history of the congregation. All of us who lead stand on the shoulders of others and it is irritating and discouraging for congregations to hear from their senior leader all of the faults of the church and how he is going to make the church what it needs to be. Of course churches need to change and sometimes it is radical change that is needed but wisdom places diplomacy and graciousness at the top of the list rather than criticizing the past. Ignoring history is always disempowering because it ignores the very individuals who made the church what it is today.

Four: The inability to disagree with people and still stay connected to them. Way too many senior leaders see people as either "for them" or "against them" based on whether they agree or disagree with one another. This reflects bad Emotional Intelligence and poor relational skills. Once this happens, many good people find that they are no longer listened to or even appreciated. It is painful for a faithful leader to be marginalized simply because he/she has disagreed with the senior leader who cannot live with that disagreement and stay connected relationally.

Five: Introducing changes too quickly and without proper process. Most people are change resistant which means that if change is needed (and it often is) a process must be run with those impacted by the change to bring them along, answer their questions and calm their concerns. Many senior leaders are highly deficient at the change process and the lack of process produces anger and disenchantment in the congregation. Pastors often then demonize those who they feel are resistant when the resistance was actually a result of their own lack of process in the changes they brought.

Five ways congregations irritate pastors
One: Pettiness. When working with churches in conflict I am always amazed at how petty many of the issues people want to talk about are. Choices a pastor and their spouse make in their lifestyles or the fact that they don't do what the last pastor or spouse did or something said in the pulpit - there is no end to the pettiness that some parishioners can have and are willing to make their opinions known, sometimes widely.

Two: Unwillingness to change in the face of evidence that it is deeply needed. Admittedly, this is often a matter of the skill of a senior leader to negotiate needed changes but there are plenty of congregations who have resisted change leading to three or four pastors facing the same issues in the church and leaving in discouragement. Congregations that resist needed changes will eventually die and it can be deeply frustrating to healthy leaders who are doing their best to bring health to the congregation.

Three: An inward focus rather than an outward focus. Healthy leaders will never settle for an internal focus when the community around them is absent a relationship with Jesus. Yet many churches are inward focused and see few people coming to faith in Christ. There may well be growth but in many instances it is simply transfer growth. Healthy leaders want both new life in Christ and life transformation. When they are kept from moving in this direction it is disempowering and frustrating and I have to believe to God as well.

Four: A divided board that is unwilling to police its own members. Hardly a week goes by that I don't get a call or an email from a pastor (or board member) about a dysfunctional board that will not police its members. What is left is often a divided board that literally accomplishes nothing of significance. It's mission has been hijacked by its ongoing dysfunctionality and the pastor is often a hostage to that stagnant leadership group. Pastors are dependent on a healthy board for healthy leadership and ministry. When boards won't police their own there is little a pastor can do.

Five: A stingy congregation or board. Pastoring a local church is one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. You have as many bosses as you have congregants, you have people who feel free to say the most inappropriate things, you must accept all who come, there are constant crises in the lives of people and you get to preach each or almost every Sunday. No pastor goes into ministry for the material benefits but congregations show their appreciation by being generous and their lack of appreciation by being stingy. I have seen many examples of both but the latter sends a powerful message of a lack of appreciation to their pastor.

A great response to this blog would be a candid conversation between a board and their pastor. Both might learn something of significance.

Posted from Phoenix, AZ

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Why our response to Nepal's earthquake matters

From a human perspective the needs of the people of Nepal are currently massive. The pictures tell the story. Homes gone, possessions lost, water hard to get, sanitation and basic infrastructure and all those things we take for granted damaged or non-existent.  Basic human compassion should compel us to pray, and care and give so that people's lives can be rebuilt. It could have been us!

There is also a divine perspective on events like we are witnessing in Nepal. I put it this way: "Nothing happens in our world, good or bad which does not first pass by the hands of God and which He does not use to build His church." 

There is always a story behind the stories in the news and it is God's story. Many do not know, for instance that Nepal has one of the fastest growing Christian populations. Many do not know that it is crises like these that give the Gospel a huge opportunity to take a quantum leap as the international and local church mobilizes to help deeply hurting people. After the Asian tsunami, for instance, Ache, Indonesia, one of the most closed places to Christians was by necessity opened up and the Christian's response to the humanitarian needs changed forever the area's view of Jesus and Christians and many came (and are still coming) to Christ.

Paul, speaking in Athens made the point that God has a hand in the events of a people's lives for a Gospel purpose: 

Acts 17:26-27New American Standard Bible (NASB)

26" and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, 27 that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us."

The events of our world are not as random as they appear, for God, in His sovereignty and in His desire to see people reach out for Him and find Him uses events such as this earthquake to cause otherwise complacent individuals to look for spiritual answers in the right places. Nothing happens in our world, good or bad which does not first pass by the hands of God and which He does not use to build His church.

You and I are His agents in this Gospel opportunity. We are His hands, His feet, His voice and those who can tangibly show His love to a hurting people. The large NGO's will come and go. Many ministries such as ReachGlobal will be rebuilding and helping communities and individuals for the next five to ten years. Our response to this disaster has eternal consequences for the Gospel. It is a huge opportunity to meet both basic human needs as well as eternal heart needs. We ought to see these situations in light of God's perspective rather than simply a human perspective - compelling as that is.

For the latest update from ReachGlobal you can see ongoing reports from the Crisis Response Blog as well as ways to help.

Posted from Tucson, AZ

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The ONE thing I look forward to the moment I die and it will be my greatest moment of freedom and joy

Death stirs all kinds of emotions for us. Even as believers the unknown causes us anxiety. I say that with some experience as I have faced death several times and looked it the face with realism and all the emotions that accompany that experience. In two instances I was pretty sure my earthly existence was over. In another I knew it could be. What I say I don't say lightly. It has come with great pain and struggle physically and emotionally!

So it is something I have thought about a lot. And in many ways it has been a gift. The question is, how can we welcome something we don't look forward to? I hope to live a long time but I look forward to one moment that will be the best moment of my existence.

It is not death.

It is the moment I look for the first time into the eyes of Jesus who I will meet the instant I leave this life and enter the next.

Think for a moment of what eyes tell you. You look into the eyes of another and you see a piece of their soul. That is why lovers look into the eyes of the one they love. Eyes show love, amazement, anger, mercy, cynicism and whatever is in the mind of the one whose eyes you are looking at. 

I believe there will be no more amazing and life changing moment than that instant when I look into the eyes of my Savior for the first time. He is described in the book of Revelation this way: "And among the lampstands was someone 'like a son of man dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double edged sword.. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance'" (Revelation 1:13-16)

It is One like no other! This is the One who created me. This is the One who loved me when I didn't deserve love. This is the One who rescued me and paid for my sin. This is the One who sustained me through ever moment of my life. This is the One who adopted me and gave me all the amazing gifts listed in Ephesians 1 and 2. This is the One who gave me mercy, grace, forgiveness, redemption, sanctification and His Spirit through no merit of my own. None!

What will I see? It cannot be described but I will do my best. I will see in His eternal eyes the most amazing love, forgiveness, truth, compassion, understanding, grace, mercy, loving kindness, holiness and acceptance that I have ever longed for. I will know that I am home. I will know that I am eternally loved. I will know that for the first time in my life all is truly well and always will be. I will know that I am home with the One I was made for.

At that moment the struggles which have plagued me will be forever gone. The sins that beset me will be forever forgotten. The pain I have experienced will be fully released. The fears I have lived with will be forever gone. All I will have left is the freedom that we were originally made for. I will also know that everything I have endured for His sake will be worth it. His eyes will say it all. Any words of His will strike my heart like lightning as they will be words of complete love for He made me for Himself. 

I cannot know how I will respond. How does one respond in the presence of God? I know it will not be fear for fear will be banished along with tears and sorrow and pain and heartache. As the song asks, will I dance for him, fall on my face for him, or have any words to say to Him? All I know is that in that moment I will fully understand what I have tried to understand this side of life - fully. He will be everything I need, my heart will be fully at peace and every struggle completed, every desire fulfilled, every yearning completed. For the first time in my existence ALL will be well and I will be complete. 

What do I look forward to when He brings me home? I just want to look into the eyes of Jesus. Everything else will be extra including eternity with Him and with His family. I know that the moment His eyes meet mine, all will be different. At that moment He will wipe the tears from my eyes - regrets, sin, pain, disappointment, unfulfilled dreams, the love I didn't give or receive and it will be well with my soul - forever. Freedom and joy forever. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Nepal earthquake update from the BBC and ReachGlobal

Nepal earthquake: Death toll rises above 3,000

EFCA and ReachGlobal Response

Nepal Earthquake Response Fact Sheet – 4/25/15 Edition

1)      What happened?

A 7.8 magnitude earthquake struck Nepal yesterday, April 25, 2015.  Damage reports are still coming in, but it appears to be a major crisis. Our partner, the Nepali Church Planting Movement, has had all 13 of its churches affected in some manner.  We are coordinating our efforts with OC International, with an assessment team traveling tomorrow, and more people on Tuesday. An Initial $10,000 in immediate response funds is in the process of being transferred. 

2)      Yes, we are responding.

·         We have partners in the area impacted.

·         We have started to initiate contacts with other partner ministries involved in the work in Nepal, as well as other NGO’s and relief organizations.

·         For up to date info go to http://go.efca.org/resources/project/nepal-earthquake-response ….info will be put here by early evening.

3)      What should I tell someone who wants to help?   

·         Pray -  see today’s current top story on www.efca.org  and blog post

·         Please send funds !!! 

·         Please stay tuned for more information to follow.  Collect name and email for anyone we have contact with. Direct them to email crisisresponse@efca.org  with their contact information, or call our Crisis Response office at  985-893-0218 ext 7.

·         We are not sending teams in initial stages. Mark is coordinating with our ReachGlobal Asia Division.  They through partners will be heading there asap to assess and determine needs/strategies with our local partners. 

4)      What kinds of needs do we have – prioritized.

·         Donations will be the immediate and priority need.

·         We ARE NOT interested in receiving bulk donations (eg. pallet loads) of gift-in-kind

5)      Where should I direct them for more info?  

·         https://reachglobalcrisisresponse.wordpress.com/   and crisisresponse@efca.org

6)      What should people give to?

·         Give to ‘Earthquake Relief  21709-3970’

·         Direct them to www.efca.org and click on donation link on that page.

7)      Can we give stuff…not just money?

·         No. We are not accepting any gift in kind!!!!

8)      Who should I contact for more info or to help in other ways?

·         Crisisresponse@efca.org

·         Call mark lewis 717-439-3138

A 7.8 magnitude earthquake struck Nepal yesterday, April 25, 2015.  With the epicenter between Kathmandu and Pokhara, major areas of Nepal have been hit very hard and there have been many building collapses and the death toll continues to rise.  We have staff and partners on the ground who are assessing the situation.  We have been working in partnership in church planting efforts in various parts of Nepal and in response to this crisis are mobilizing to provide aid and relief.  We (Reach Global and OC International) are currently assessing needs and developing our plan of action in partnership together.  This includes organizing relief to reduce the suffering of the people and mobilizing the church to minister to physical needs as well as bring the gospel.  We also ask you to pray for the nation and for relief efforts.  As we talked to our partners about needs, of course the first request is for prayer and so we would ask for you to mobilize your church to pray as this crisis unfolds and as we seek to help.  We also invite others to join in partnership with us.  Stephen Chandra (International leader, Asia for EFCA Reach Global) and Gill Nash (Assistant Asia Area Director, OC) are planning to travel to Kathmandu as soon as possible to further assess and direct efforts for relief.  

Growing a God sized heart

There are many things that matter in life but few as important as growing hearts that are God sized. That is a lifelong pursuit because His heart is so vast, so caring, so loving, so truthful, so courageous, so merciful, holy and gracious that all eternity will not suffice to get close to His heart. But there is no better pursuit.

Think about how having His heart impacts our relationships, actions and priorities:

• My care for the hurting - and they are all around us
• My responses to those who are irritating - we all have them in our lives
• My response to the crises that hit our world like the current crisis in Nepal
• How I choose to invest my gifts - for His purposes or primarily for mine
• How I choose to invest my funds - generosity for Him or selfishness for me
• The lens through which I make decisions - simply pragmatic or personal gain or through Jesus' eyes
• How I view my own personal sin - unimportant or deeply hurtful to God's heart
• How I view position, power and influence - as something I deserve or a trust that I hold

All Scripture reveals God's heart but if you really want to understand His heart read the Gospels for there we see it put into action in real life situations. What surprises us when we read carefully is how counter intuitive His heart is compared to what we would expect and to what society sees as normal. He surprised people around Him, His own disciples, those who were guilty, those who were resistant and the Pharisees. The more we develop His heart the more that will be true of our own lives as well. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

How the prosperity gospel hurts racial reconciliation from Desiring God

How the Prosperity Gospel Hurts Racial Reconciliation

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

How many hospitality hotspots does your church have?

It is common for a congregation to have an information booth where new folks can get information on what is happening and where to go. All good. But what would happen if every major ministry was a hospitality hotspot with trained hosts whose job it is to make people comfortable and ensure that people are engaged and have the information they need. 

A hospitality hotspot is one where there is an individual or individuals who:

• Look for new people and engage them
• Ensure that you get their name and them yours
• Introduce them to several others in the vicinity
• Re-welcome by name the following week
• Help get them connected
• Get their story as you can

One of key reasons people do not come back to a church is that no one engaged them when they came. Having multiple hospitality hotspots would solve that issue. It would also train a greater number of people in your congregation to engage with new folks.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

A fairly nutty article on Mars Hill Governance

After reading this three part series all I wanted to do was to ask, "How well did this work for you?"

Church Governance: Local Elders or Outside Board?ResultSource Part 3

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Seven reasons why I refuse to become cynical about the church and always remain hopeful.

Because I often consult with hurting churches (and fortunately some very healthy ones) I am often asked why I remain optimistic about the church. The truth is that I have seen the good, bad and the ugly but there are seven reasons that I never lose hope, refuse to become cynical and will always value the local church, domestically and internationally. 

First, the church is the Bride of Jesus. That is what He calls it (Ephesians 5) and it is the bride that will be reunited with the Bridegroom at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. The local church is God's hope of the world, and His local strategy for making disciples of His. How can I be cynical if He, knowing the best and the worst of the church still calls it His bride?

Second, wherever the people of God are gathered, the Holy Spirit is present. Perhaps this is why it is so hard to kill off a church! Where His followers are present, He is present and where He is present, He does His work whether we think He should or not. 

Third, lives are changed through the relationships of a local church. We might wonder how given some of the obvious dysfunctions but it is the presence of the Holy Spirit that makes this possible. This is why even a bad sermon can make a huge difference in the listener as the Holy Spirit works in their hearts in spite of our deficiencies (Romans 8). 

Fourth, even in the midst of great church dysfunction (and I have seen my share) many of God's people continue to live out their particular calling (Ephesians 2:10) in spite of what they see around them. In one particularly dysfunctional church many people said to me, "I wish the leaders would get their act together but in the meantime I am just doing what God has called me to do. And so real and effective ministry went on despite the dysfunction of the leaders.

Fifth, my own spiritual growth is not held hostage by church dysfunction. I am responsible for my growth and ministry and frankly I have left dysfunctional churches without any guilt. I cannot speak for others but I am not willing to give my life long term to a congregation that I cannot bring my neighbors to. It is not sacrilege to leave a church. At times it is the only thing that will get the attention of church leaders.

Sixth, churches can be revitalized. I can attest to that after working with many hurting churches. It is the will of good leaders and the Holy Spirit that makes this possible. Where leaders and pastors are unwilling to face truth, churches should frankly die and let something new grow.  But if the will is there it is possible for churches to become renewed and missional once again.

Seventh, Jesus is not unaware of the challenges of local churches and in spite of the challenges He continues to bless those who are committed to His plan for great fruit (John 15). He will bless the efforts of those who are committed to being the bride of His. However imperfect we are. 

It is my prayer that I will always be hopeful for the church and never succumb to cynicism which Jesus never has. However imperfect it is His bride and it is His joy and we will celebrate His family when we arrive in heaven at the second coming.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The God sized ask instead of a vision statement

In my long experience in working with churches and ministries there is inevitably confusion and disagreement over mission statements and vision statements. For me, the mission statement answers the question of why we exist and vision is a long term description of what we would love to see happen. However, the debate over which is which can take up a lot of time and conversation. In addition, many feel it presumptuous to assume that we can "deliver" on our vision as God is the source of the fruit our ministries see. 

I have a simple suggestion that makes the debate irrelevant.

Rather than a vision statement, what about a God sized ask that all are praying for in the spirit of Ephesians 3:20-21: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

God wants to surprise us with his power and he wants to show his glory in the church - for all generations. So why not ask Him a God sized ask and see what He does?

The mission of ReachGlobal is the same as that of our denomination. "We exist to glorify God by multiplying transformational churches among all people." Pretty straightforward.

But here is our God sized ask: We are asking God for one million disciplemakers impacting 100 million people with the Gospel and that He would give us 100 Acts 19 locations where the Gospel penetrates a whole city or region.

If that were simply our vision it could be seen as presumptuous. But instead it is a God sized ask (we cannot do it but He can). He is pleased with those who pray in faith and he loves to surprise us. We know that only He can make that happen. And it eliminates the debate between mission and vision.

We have a mission. We also have a God sized ask and He is fully capable of surprising us by doing immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. Finally, vision statements can be exciting and motivating. But a God sized ask is different. It is mobilization around prayer rather than around a statement. It mobilizes our people to pray for a common and God honoring result. It places the focus on Him rather than on us. And that is a big difference. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

It takes a moment but lasts a long time

It is a gift that is easily given and one that is deeply needed: A simple thank you, word of encouragement or a quick prayer for a specific need someone has. A small gift but one that acknowledges others and encourages their heart.

Leaders who take the time to do this are deeply appreciated. Anyone who does this is is giving value to another and encouraging their  hearts. And there is a significant encouragement deficit in our busy world today.

A friend and I were travelling in Asia recently and on our way to our ride he stopped for a moment to pray for an individual who had been part of our meeting. Eight weeks later he received an email thanking him for that small act of kindness. It was just what this individual needed at that time. Never underestimate the power of a thank you, a word of encouragement or taking an issue to the throne  of God. 

As I write this I am in Rochester, MN surrounded by patients who will be at Mayo today. I wonder how many of them will receive a word of encouragement today or someone who is interceding on their behalf. It takes a moment but lasts a long time.

Posted from Rochester, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Humble and collaborative church leadership

I just returned from Santiago Chile and saw firsthand a rare phenomenon. A senior church team that displays huge humility and collaboration. The senior leader is 67, another is 35, and another 49. Together they lead a church of 500+. Rarely have I seen a team that is as non-competitive, open to one another's counsel and opinions and the ability to work collaboratively for kingdom objectives. They are an example in a country that is full of authoritarian leadership and an example to many in our own country where hubris, power and a need to get our own way is all too common.

The senior leader has deeply empowered the other two. He knows his paradigms are different from theirs and is unfazed by it. He knows that transition must come and is unfazed by that. He is a great leader who cares more about the kingdom than his kingdom. The other two senior leaders have very different gifts and yet they are noncompetitive (even about who takes over if it is one of them), understand their own gifting and how much they need one another. Nor are they anxious to lose their senior leader although they know his role will change in the future. In addition their spouses have the same attitudes. 

It is a church that has a history of conflict as many do. Yet that is now absent in their close teamwork. Their example is infecting other churches in Santiago where such a model is rare. Yet it is the model that Jesus would endorse. 

One of my greatest joys is to meet and get to know leaders who display the mind and attitude of Jesus. I long for this to be the case in the church at large. I wish there were more of this in the United States. We have a lot to learn from others. Especially humble and collaborative leadership in the church.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Pastoral and leadership transitions are a precarious thing

Pastoral transitions are a precarious thing especially at the end of a career when pastors often don't want to let go and boards or congregations wish they would. And, nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room so the issue simmers under the surface often causing conflict in subtle ways.

It is unfortunate and often hurts the congregation who may start to feel that the church is adrift losing its way and it seems that leaders do not have the courage to figure out a plan. These issues in themselves often cause other tensions to come to the surface that never would have caused problems if the underlying issue had been addressed.

Here are some observations.

First, there is a time to for everyone to leave a leadership position. That does not mean that ministry is over but leadership is a tough job and age does take its toll. Leadership in the church is one of the toughest leadership roles coupled with preaching regularly and all the issues churches face. When we start to lose our energy, enthusiasm or edge it is time to step aside from leading - perhaps into a less demanding position.

Two, most of us are not fully aware that it may be time. This is why discussions with our church board (or ministry board) is so important. It seems to me that this ought to be a conversation each year when we move into our sixties to ensure that we are receiving the feedback that we need. We may not like the feedback but it is better than being surprised at some point.

Third, if pastors don't raise the issues it is incumbent on the board to do so. Once we hit our sixties it is foolish to pretend that transition is not coming. The question is whether it will be a healthy one or not. This is not putting an age on when the transition should come but it is recognizing that it is coming and we need a plan. I have seen some great examples of a planned transition because pastors and boards worked together to make it healthy. All too often that is not the case.

Fourth, planned transitions allow the one leaving to be honored and the church to move through an emotionally hard time in a healthy manner. Conflictual transitions do not. Conflictual transitions are often the result of pastors not willing to let go and the board having to force the issue leaving both parties with a bitter taste. Sometimes this is because the two parties have not been talking candidly and sometimes because pastors are not listening. When leaders are hired they and the hiring party negotiate what is needed for the relationship to work. The same should be true in leaving. There needs to be give and take but most of all there must be a plan and a strategy.

I fully realize that boards are often very poor at handling transitions with their pastors but it cuts both ways. Often pastors don't want to leave even in the face of boards trying to get their attention. Both parties need to be able to talk like adults and come to a plan that protects the church and honors all parties involved.

It is the avoidance of these conversations that creates unhealthy transitions. All of us leave sometime. The question is whether we leave well or not. It is sad to see pastors or leaders leave  poorly as that becomes part of their legacy. Healthy leadership includes a healthy leaving. Starting well, leading well and leaving well are all part of the healthy leadership package. 

Posted from Santiago, Chile

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The difference between positional authority and influence

We are trained to believe that positional authority is necessary if we are going to have influence. In fact we usually believe that influence and positional authority are one and the same or must both be present in order to be successful in ministry (or other venues).

I beg to differ. I have written previously that the best influence is from our lives and not from our position. If we believe that positional authority and influence are one and the same, what do we do with someone like Barnabas whose influence made Paul what he became - and who probably had little or no positional authority. Or think of the average lay individual who has huge influence with many people without any positional influence. 

Certainly in missions, influence is far more important than authority. In fact, in most ministry situations our position allows us to possibly tell others what to do (often not a good way to do leadership) but non staff or those around us don't particularly care about our position. What they do care about is whether we have a heart to help and serve them. Furthermore, people don't listen carefully to those they don't respect and respect comes from the quality of our lives rather than the position we hold.

Relying for influence on our positional authority is a big mistake because we can be badly mistaken that our position gave us influence when in fact it may or may not. Influence comes from healthy spiritual, relational and emotional intelligence. It also comes from a kingdom heart that desires to serve others more than it desires to serve ourselves. 

It is the way of Jesus who had no worldly positional power. Nor did it seem to bother him. His self image was not wrapped up in position but rather gave up his position to have influence with those who deserved none of it (Philippians 2). 

It is easy to chase the wrong prize in life. Chasing positional authority for its sake is not a worthy prize. Investing our lives to bring influence for Jesus is the ultimate worthy endeavor. 

I often ask people who was the most important person in the New Testament outside of the Gospels. The answer is almost always Paul. Personally I wonder if it is Barnabas who came alongside Paul when no one else would, loved him, believed him and invested in him. It was all about influence and it produced (in God's Spirit and providence) the greatest leader in the early church - at least in the spread of Christianity and the clarity of theology.

I possess positional authority but my greatest contribution will inevitably come from my influence. Some have both but if all you have is positional authority it is not enough and not a worthy prize. This is the central message of my newest book, "Deep Influence."

Posted from Santiago, Chile

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

God is alive and well in Cuba

There is a lot of interest in Cuba today. And it is a wonderful, fascinating place. Politics aside (and there has been a lot of that) the story for me in Cuba is that God is up to amazing things. Churches are being planted, people are coming to Jesus and - get this - the group we partner with has 7,000 lay people in training across the country. I am still trying to get my head wrapped around that one. This in a place where there is little to no economy, people eke out a living and the political realities make ministry a challenge.

I spoke at a Church a couple Sundays ago and met a wide variety of people who mostly had come to the Lord recently. Each had a story and many of them were amazing. What really caught my attention was the graduation ceremony of elementary students (below) who had learned how to share the gospel with unbelievers having learned the story of Jesus in song. I thought "Oh my! I had to come to Cuba to see elementary students who can share the Gospel better than many adults." I had not seen that before and I do get around.

In one neighborhood the crime statistics had gone down 30% and one of the government officials was applauding what they had done. Another official said, "We didn't do anything! It is the church in the community! That church takes care of dozens of widows, and is now working with street kids, have a feeding program and love on their neighborhood. In other words, the Gospel is not only impacting hearts but whole communities.

When you read the news about Cuba pray for the church there and amazing pastors, most who are bi-vocational and work under tremendous pressures. Jesus is alive and well in Cuba.

Posted from Santiago, Chile

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Do you attend a rigid, graceless or mean church?

They do exist, and the three descriptors of rigid, graceless, and mean go together pretty well. They play out in several key ways that all contribute to a dysfunctional (church) family system.  Here are some symptoms.

Legalism: There are a lot of rules about what is acceptable and unacceptable, which come not from Scripture (or a proper reading of it) but from tradition or someone's strong preference. Legalism stifles freedom, creates false guilt, and can be used to control people. 

Control: Usually, this comes from leaders who have a need to control the thinking and especially the opinions of people in the congregation. It usually shows up when an independent voice asks uncomfortable questions, and there is a direct effort made by leaders to cause them to back off. Words like "uncooperative," "causing dissent," or "disunity" may be used to seek to bring them into line. Groupthink is groupthink and not healthy. There should be plenty of room for differing opinions within a church body.

Lack of grace: This flows directly from legalism and control. This usually shows itself in gossip, caustic comments, and even prayer requests that are directed at the decisions or character of others. It is a judgmental attitude that tries to play the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others, but in a way, the Holy Spirit would never do it.

Meanness: This is often directed at independent voices when those individuals do not toe the party line. Again it can be gossip, it can be charges leveled against individuals, or even asking people to leave the church - not because they have sinned - but because they have challenged the system and someone does not like it. Those who are authoritarian leaders often use their position to impose their views on others through plain unkind words and conduct. It is wrong!

Why is this so toxic? Because it does not look like Jesus, and the church is all about Jesus. Toxic churches create toxic Christians who, in turn, create other toxic followers. It is antithetical to the kind of church culture described in the book of Ephesians. Whenever you feel controlled or made to feel guilty or are intentionally hurt by church leaders, be aware that you may be in an unhealthy system. Healthy churches do not act this way. Unhealthy churches do.

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The future of world religions with population growth projections from the Pew Research Center

The Future of World Religions: Population Growth Projections, 2010-2050

Why Muslims Are Rising Fastest and the Unaffiliated Are Shrinking as a Share of the World’s Population

Just don't do it - benign neglect can be your friend

For many leaders there is the temptation to jump in and do what needs to be done when it appears to them that others are not going to take care of it. It is often a mistake and it trains people to passively allow the leader to do it for them. For a leader this is a non sustainable model because there will always be things that need to be done and often what we jump in and do takes us away from the most important things we do.

Benign neglect can be a friend. If certain things are not done and people notice it raises the question, "Who should do it?" If it should be done at all which is a good question. But when a leader defaults to doing it himself or herself they lost the opportunity to engage others in things they ought to be doing, not the leader. They also train people to expect that they will always take up the slack.

Pastors often fall into the trap of doing what others have not done. This is usually caused by anxiety over what people will think if something is not accomplished. But why should it fall to the pastor to plug the dike unless it is in their job description? If it is truly important then there should be a willingness on the part of the congregation to do it. Leaving it be raises the questions: Should we be doing this? Why do we do this? And, Who should do this? 

Sometimes your best action is no action.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

An article on who the unchurched really are

If you are part of a middle class or upper class evangelical church (as I am) this article will challenge your thinking - and should.

Five ways that a proper understanding of grace impacts leadership

There are few issues more important to us personally or in our leadership than a proper understanding of grace. Our understanding or lack of it has significant implications for how we lead and how we respond and interact with others. It is one of those areas where theology and practice intersect in important ways.

First, leaders who understand and live in grace do not have a need to prove anything to God or to others. If I live in grace, I do not need to worry about being wrong nor do I need to live with defensiveness. Many leaders in the Christian arena are more about proving they can be successful than they are about serving Jesus. Grace frees us from the need to prove anything to God or others and therefore allows us to live in freedom.

Second, leaders who understand and live in grace don't need to seek perfection which is really all about proving something to others. They can rest in the fact that God is in control and while we do the best we can we can leave the results to God. We sow and water but only God can bring the harvest. Without grace, leaders feel they need to produce results. Living in grace allows us to rest in Him, do the right things and trust Him for transformational results.

Third, leaders who understand and live in grace are able to extend grace and understanding to their staff. This is not an excuse for allowing shoddy work. It is a posture of wanting the very best for others and extending the same grace that Jesus extends to us. Harsh leaders simply don't understand grace. Think of the Fruit of the Spirit and you get the picture of what grace looks like in relationships. 

Fourth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures in their teams and organizations of grace. The culture of an organization is often a direct reflection of the leader's own spiritual and emotional health. Legalistic or harsh cultures simply reflect the ethos of its leadership. Where a leader understands and lives in grace he/she creates that culture in their organization.

Fifth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures where there is no fear of candid dialogue and diverse opinions because grace allows us to live with a Nothing to Prove and Nothing to Lose attitude. Without defensiveness, we can invite honest dialogue, deal with elephants and create a culture of grace and truth. Where that is not the case, I would argue that the leader (and or staff) are not living in grace.

I would guess there are many other implications of a life of grace. What I do know is that leaders who understand and live in grace create healthy cultures and those who don't won't.

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

If you have ever suffered rejection from others, watch this powerful video

Dealing with rejection 

If there had been no Good Friday or Easter Morning

We take much for granted. As you walk through this week, consider the gift of the death and resurrection of Christ. Because if there had been no Good Friday or Easter Sunday….

You would have no church

There would be no Holy Spirit resident in our hearts

Funerals would be the final farewell

Guilt would last forever

Good News would be absent for all

Life purpose would be absent

Prayer would be futile

Reconciliation with God would be impossible

The evil one would have the final say

Evil would not be mitigated by God’s love – anywhere

There would be no New Testament

The failures of our lives could never be redeemed for a greater good

Suffering would have no meaning

Future hope would be non-existent

The One Friend we can always count on would be absent

Love motivated by Jesus would be non-existent

There would be no final justice

It would be a life without Jesus

There would be no Easter

Take time this week to reflect. Good Friday and Easter Morning are the game changers in human history - and in our own history.

Posted from Oakdale, MN


All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The day between Good Friday and Easter

What do you think it was like the day after the crucifixion of Christ? Did Pilot wake up with a guilty conscience and wonder if he had done the right thing? Did the guards who had mocked Jesus and then seen Him on the cross, wonder if an innocent man had died? Did the crowds who had called for His life keep an embarrassed silence in a quiet Jerusalem? Someone was nervous for they asked the Roman garrison to post guards at His tomb. On the day after, Jesus' friends mourned, the Romans were nervous and some who had watched the execution were sure He was the Son of God.

It had to be a day like no other in Jerusalem. It had to be a day of quiet and consideration. It had to be a day of sober doubt after a day of impetuous action. I'll bet there were many disturbed consciences that day. The day between death and resurrection. A day of uncertainty and guilt. A day of hopelessness and sadness. 

We have days like that! I have experienced whole periods of life that hang between hope and despair. Uncertainty reigns. Sadness is prevalent, maybe dominant. It is the time in between life as it was and life as it will be - but not yet knowing what will be. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties and unknowns.

It is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is real and it hurts and all of us experience it just as the disciples did, only in different ways. But there is another day coming...we know and we look forward to that day of hope. Always remember in the day of despair. The morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need the words of Habakkuk, "Be still and know that I am God." Easter comes and so does Hope. 

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Lessons from Good Friday

One of the lessons of Good Friday is that what appears to be true is not always true. On this day the cosmic battle between Satan and God culminated in what Satan thought was his greatest victory. That battle had been waged from the time of the fall (Genesis 3:15) where God made it clear that one day Satan would be defeated. But on this  day, Satan knew he had won. The Son of God is on the cross, alone, abandoned even by His Father who didn't seem able to rescue Him. Thirty pieces of silver was all it had taken, the best deal ever in the history of evil.

The disciples knew it was over. Jesus' friends knew it was over. The Jewish authorities knew it was over - their problem solved, a rival gone. Not only that but for those who cared, evil had won over good and righteousness. For the followers of Christ, this was the ultimate sadness. They had expected righteousness to triumph and instead, evil had prevailed. The one who had called Himself the Son of God, dead on a bitter cross. 

Little did they know that what appeared to be the final chapter was only the beginning of a new chapter because out of the jaws of apparent defeat, Christ would not only be resurrected but in that resurrection he sealed the fate of Satan and evil and unrighteousness for all time and made it possible for the created to have a relationship with the creator. Apparent defeat was only the prelude to total victory! 

Not for one moment had the events of Good Friday been out of the control of the heavenly Father even though it looked like the Father had lost all control. He is sovereign and nothing under His control can ever be out of control. The world learned that on Easter Sunday.

Think about your own life for a moment. Where are the areas that seem to be out of control? Where does it feel like evil has won? Where are the apparent areas where you feel defeat, discouragement, sadness or pain? It is easy to see the Good Friday moments in our lives when it is clear that God has not acted and we need His help. It is harder to wait for the resurrection moments when God shows up as He always does and redeems what we thought was unredeemable - often in surprising and unique ways.

Whatever your circumstance you can be sure that Easter is coming and that things are not always what they appear to be. In the end, nothing that is in His control can ever be out of control and God always prevails. Our job is to walk by faith in the Good Friday moments of life when life is hard and hope is scarce, waiting for our Easter to arrive when He shows up and redeems our situation. The fun thing about Easter was that it was such a surprise. Invite Jesus to surprise you in your situation today.

(Posted from Oakdale, MN)

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.