It takes a moment but lasts a long time

It is a gift that is easily given and one that is deeply needed: A simple thank you, word of encouragement or a quick prayer for a specific need someone has. A small gift but one that acknowledges others and encourages their heart.

Leaders who take the time to do this are deeply appreciated. Anyone who does this is is giving value to another and encouraging their  hearts. And there is a significant encouragement deficit in our busy world today.

A friend and I were travelling in Asia recently and on our way to our ride he stopped for a moment to pray for an individual who had been part of our meeting. Eight weeks later he received an email thanking him for that small act of kindness. It was just what this individual needed at that time. Never underestimate the power of a thank you, a word of encouragement or taking an issue to the throne  of God. 

As I write this I am in Rochester, MN surrounded by patients who will be at Mayo today. I wonder how many of them will receive a word of encouragement today or someone who is interceding on their behalf. It takes a moment but lasts a long time.

Posted from Rochester, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The art of lifting others up rather than lifting ourselves up

I am convinced that the true test of humility and servanthood is that of lifting other up, helping them succeed and flourish rather than lifting ourselves up. Jesus modeled this when He made it clear that He was about His Father's business and everything He did was to make His Father look good. What is amazing is that Jesus was part of the Godhead and yet he continually lifted the Father up.

All of us have emotional needs and egos. It is hard to lift up others at our expense - and I am convinced that this is a result of the fall and our need to be number one and the one in the spotlight. Yet, what is most important is not our own ego needs but that we make Jesus well known and His reputation great. It is never about us so why do we make it about us?

When Paul talks about treating others as more important than ourselves he is both emulating the example of Jesus and teaching us how important is is to focus on others rather than ourselves. The lower nature focuses on us. The fruit of the Spirit focuses on others more than ourselves. A mark of maturity is our willingness and desire to see others succeed rather than ourselves be in the limelight.

I don't pretend this is easy. Our pride wants to trumpet ourselves. Humility trumpets others. Our pride wants the credit. Humility gives credit away. Our pride wants the spotlight. Humility gives the spotlight to others. Why? Because what matters in the end is not our celebrity but our influence for Jesus. For most of us, that influence is behind the scenes and seeks to lift others up rather than ourselves.

This is a battle most of us who are in leadership will fight all of our lives. I want to win that battle. After all, life is not about me. It is all about Jesus. To the extent that I get that and live that I will be successful. Ironically, to the extent that I promote myself I will be unhappy and unsuccessful because the more self promotion we do the more we need. We choose which path we take. Either life is about us or it is not. 

Staff know which route leaders take. They know when it is about the leader and they know when it is about the leader doing all they can to make them successful. We may fool ourselves but we never fool those we lead. Hopefully we don't fool ourselves either! It indicates our pride or our humility. 

Ironically, the more we lift others up the greater our influence for the Kingdom. In doing so we multiply ourselves.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The more we embrace this practice, the more influence we have

It is a very simple practice: Being an encourager of others. The staff you have who encourage other staff are invaluable staff. Those in the church who encourage bring hope and life to hurting people to keep going - cold water for the weary. We rub shoulders every day with people who need a kind word of encouragement which is why there are so many "encouragements" in Scripture to "encourage one another."

I remember one particular vacation years ago when one of my sons was in a phase of life that specialized in sullen silence. It was frustrating and irritating. We were with friends and I said something to them about my frustration which they observed. One of them kindly said, "He will grow out of it and it will be just fine, relax." To this day I remember those words and have often quoted them to other parents in a similar situation. Those words were just what I needed from someone who had gone before and could see what I could not see. In fact, some of the most powerful words that stick in my memory are words of encouragement spoken to me in a time of discouragement. We remember harsh words and we remember encouraging words.

We should never underestimate the power of encouragement. It is why Scriptures say that God encourages us, the Holy Spirit encourages us, the Scriptures encourage us, fellow believers encourage us and we are to be a constant encouragement to others. And everyone can do that. It is not reserved for a select few. Encouragers are amazingly influential in a world that specializes in discouragement.

If we want to be like God who is the ultimate encourager (Romans 15:5) make this a daily practice. The more we embrace this practice the more influence we have and the more we look like the Father.

There is always more: don't settle

Is this all there is? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Realizing that life is different than you expected and maybe you are on the other side of fifty? Perhaps life as we dreamt it would be and life as we know it to be brings a certain dissapointment and restlessness of the soul. Is this all there is?


Jesus says NO! There is always more: don't settle. He says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full (John 10:10)." He wants us to have a life that is fully lived, fully realized, fully filled up and full of Him. He is the giver, the source and the goal of the "more" that we long for.


As long as we have life, there are six areas of life where we can always experience more. 


Dreams to pursue. Who is the giver of our deepest longings if not God? I knew as a young child that I would write but it took over fifty years to get the first book out and now there are four and several on the way. He is the giver of dreams so don't settle. Our world is made better every day by those who pursue God given dreams.


Relationships to develop. God gave us the capacity for close, meaningful relationships but they take time and nurturing to grow and flourish. Relationships with fellow pilgrims are what bring some of the greatest richness to life. Each one changes us in some way. That is why the loss of a friend through death is so traumatic. We are enriched when we invest in those relationships.


People to love. Being Jesus to others through our love, help, assistance, encouragement, and kindness brings joy to the heart and richness of life. We find life as we give it away in a Jesus sense. Life is not found in what we get as much as in what we give. There is no shortage of people to love and to be Jesus to. In fact there are now 7 billion to choose from so enrich your life daily by being Jesus to someone.


Growth in Jesus to experience. He is the source and goal of the "more" we long for. Learning to live in His presence, focusing on allowing Him to transform us, letting His Word marinate in our minds and walking in His Spirit is an ongoing, never ending process of growth. It costs nothing and is the most rewarding life giving and soul satisfying thing we could do.


Things to learn. Who created us with the capacity to learn and to grow if not our Creator? Those billions of neurons in our brain were designed by a creative God for His creative people. As part of the Image He endowed us with, He created us to create and to learn and to stretch our minds because the more we do, the more we appreciate the One who gave the gift. It is never too late to learn and grow.


Creation to enjoy. Why are we drawn to the shore, or to mountains, or to the streams to fly fish? Why are we awed by the sky on a clear dark night? Why does the sea fascinate us? Why is my 16 month old grandchild smitten by the funny looking creatures he sees at the zoo looking back at him? He made all this for us and as we consider it and play in it we experience the Creator in a new way. And, His majesty is greater than the sum of it. 


There is always more so don't settle. And in the end, the MORE with Him in His presence will be so much more that it will take a new and heavenly body to experience it - replacing this present one that starts of fail us. Don't settle!

A theology of life

Think of the amazing gift we have been given in being made in God's image, in being “image bearers” of the Lord of the universe:

·       We were created for eternity with an eternal soul

·       We were made for a relationship with our creator

·       We were given the gift of relationships with one another

·       We were granted the gift of moral freedom

·       We were given the amazing capacity to create

·       We were given the ability to love deeply

The apostle Paul puts all this in perspective in Ephesians 2:10. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The word “workmanship” means a unique work of art, a one of a kind. As unique works of God we were created for a personal relationship with him in Christ Jesus, in order to join him in His work in this world (good works) which God prepared for each of us “in advance.”

In endowing us with His image, He gave something of Himself to mankind. Our very ability to know and love him and one another is part of that gift. I can adore and love my spouse and my children and have meaningful relationships with others because He chose to make me in His image. I can know Him, serve Him, join Him in His work in this world because he made me in His image. I can use all my creativity in loving and caring and serving and living because He made me in His image.

I remember meeting my son Jon for the first time knowing that this was my flesh, my offspring. The day I met my first grandson, Gavrel, was even more profound, Again, here was a precious child with my DNA, flesh of my flesh of my flesh entering the world. In making us in His Image, God deliberately planted something of Himelf in His created. Just as I look at my grandson with a love too deep to describe, so He looks at us with a love that is able to see beyond all of our brokenness for He sees His image in us, however flawed by the entrance of sin into our world – deliberately planted in us by Him.

Our news is full of stories of the brokenness of our world. It is easy to become numb to the human needs and issues we become aware of. But stop for a moment and put on the lens of God. Your neighbor who is hurting is made in God’s image. The thousands of children who needlessly suffer from malaria every year for lack of mosquito netting are made in His image.

The disabled who are so easily treated as throw away people in much of the world are made in His image. Those who suffer from chronic dysentery for lack of clean water are made in His image. Those young slaves of the sex trade internationally are image bearers of God. The millions who are aborted annually are stamped with His imprint. The elderly who are shuffled off to a lonely existence are made in His image.

Seen in that light, we cannot ignore the spiritual and human needs around us or of our world and be like Jesus. Life is precious. People are precious. Even the most broken individual is a potential son or daughter of the king because all were stamped with His image. 

No other part of God’s creation was endowed with an eternal soul or an eternal destiny. To care for people and their situations is to see people as Jesus sees them and to love them as He loves them. To live selfishly, immune from the suffering of others is to reject the nobility God placed within man, even though sin has made much so ignoble.

Every time we uphold the dignity of human life, uphold biblical sexuality, treat our spouses well, care for those that society throws away: widows, orphans, AIDS victims, those with unwanted pregnancies, the disabled, the sick, those in dire poverty, the elderly, we join Jesus in bringing value to life made in His image. We join Jesus in His prayer, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” How is it done in heaven? Perfectly! 

When we join Him in meeting the physical and spiritual needs of our world we start bringing little bits of heaven and His values to a world that is lost and dehumanizing to those He created. We join Him in His quest to reimage an image made wrong by sin and bring out the beauty of what God originally intended.

We cannot meet all the needs of our broken world but we can make a difference for someone who is an image bearer of God. Every act of compassion that meets physical and spiritual needs is an act of obedience to our Father who cares so deeply for every human being. He hurts when they hurt, and wants every image bearer to find Him and be ReImaged into His likeness. 

Every time we go out of our way to bring life to a situation, we make the heart of God glad. Each word that encourages, touch that shows love, help that brings hope or Good News that speaks to the soul mirrors the heart of God toward those He created. None are beyond His grace, none are too broken for his healing or beyond His divine touch. 

Do you see people through human eyes or Jesus' eyes? 

The amazing gift of hope

Hope is one of the most wonderful gifts that we have as Christ followers. The word is used 76 times in the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 13, the three things that remain for all time are faith, hope and love (1 Corinthians 13: 13). Hope is a gift that we gain when we give our lives to Jesus and it remains with us forever.

 Consider these contexts:

• We boast in the hope of the glory of God (Romans 5:2)
• We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure (Hebrews 6:19.
• Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1)
• Set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming (1 Peter 1:13)
• the hope of eternal life (Titus 1:2)
• We have put our hope in the living God (1 Timothy 4:10)
• so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
• I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you (Ephesians 1:18)

In every challenge of life we have the gift of hope. No matter what our circumstance we have hope. On the verge of death we have the ultimate hope - that of eternal life with Jesus. For those of us who lose a loved one we have the hope of the resurrection and the greatest family reunion of all time. Hope is our constant companion, our daily gift, our sustaining anchor. It is the antidote to despair, discouragement and hurt. 

Hope is a gift given but it is up to us to claim it and live in it. We choose either to embrace the gift of hope or to allow ourselves to move toward discouragement and despair. God is the author of the gift of hope, Satan the author of hopelessness. The gift is ours. Will we embrace the hope we have in Jesus today?

There is much in life to be pessimistic about but if you consider all the gifts and blessings we have in Jesus Christ, in this life and the next, how can we live in pessimism? In the end, Jesus prevails over all things and we with Him! There is no circumstance of life that is not covered by the hope we have in Jesus. None. 

Choose hope today!

Prayers of the People

For Brook, Heather, Paige, and Roger who all need our prayers.


I have the joy on occasion to attend an evangelical Anglican church. One of the things I deeply appreciate in their services is the emphasis on prayer. Prayers of the people, prayers of confession and prayers of praise. In many ways we have lost the emphasis on prayer in many of our evangelical churches.


My family knows the power of united prayer for without the prayers of many during my long illness of 2007-2008 and then again in early 2009, I would not be alive. Medical doctors cannot explain how I was healed. They know it was miraculous. 


The story can be read in When Life Comes Undone: Walking by Faith when Life is Hard and Hope is Scarce. The truth is that these situations come to us all at one time or another. The question when they come is do we have a group of friends who will pray passionately for our situation?


We take the power of prayer too lightly, at least in the west where we can rely on our own resources to fix things. But even with us, there comes a time when we have no other resource but Jesus. None. 


As I often say, "It is a wonderful thing to come to the place where we have nothing else to rely on but God. When all of our resources are  exhausted as eventually they are we have the one thing we have had all along: Jesus. And He is enough." I would not have said that before my own dark night of the soul but I have learned that not only is He enough but He is the single most important thing I need.


One of the greatest gifts we can give those around us is to become people of prayer for them. To lift those up in our circles who are hurting, who are sick, who are without hope, who are grieving or dealing with whatever real life has dealt them. It takes intentionality on our part but it is the very gift that we would ask for in our own dark night.


Prayer bring hope, it may well bring healing. It always brings the presence of a loving father. It brings us and those we pray for into the very throne room of the Lord of the universe. It brings a smile to God's face and a blessing on those we pray for. It is a hidden gift in that those we lift up may never know this side of eternity but they will know one day. 


We need one another and Jesus far more than we know. Let's lift up those who are need of God's intervention on a daily basis. Prayers of the people are beautiful on Sundays and necessary every day.

The quiet ministry of calling out the best in others

A question to ponder. Who saw potential in you and called it out of you? Who encouraged you in your growth and quietly mentored you? Whoever it was left a legacy not only in you but in all the people you have touched. 


Those who encourage and develop others are special people. Theirs is a ministry behind the scenes that gets little press but which has huge reward. It is a ministry that is other centered rather than self centered. And, it is a ministry that every one of us can have.


The story of the early church was easily dominated by one great figure - the Apostle Paul. As a theologian he defined much of its theology, as an apostle he planted key churches and as a developer of people he trained up the generation that would go after him. 


Think about this, however. Behind this giant was a quiet, unassuming gentleman by the name of Barnabas who took Paul under his wing when everyone else was afraid of him. It was Barnabas who taught Paul in the early days. It was Barnabas who introduced him to the other apostles and the church. It was Barnabas who encouraged and walked alongside Paul when others did not.


So who is more important in the story of the early church: Barnabas or Paul?


Barnabas saw potential in Paul when others did not. As he did with John Mark when Paul did not. I would suggest that Barnabas had a high level of spiritual discernment along with the patience and desire to develop others. His was not a flashy ministry but a ministry in the shadows that lifted others up. 


The development of others is a a humble ministry. It often goes unseen and unacknowledged - except by God. It's legacy is in the impact of those they encourage, develop and lift up. Those who see potential where others don't are like prospectors who know the vein of gold is somewhere beneath them. They have the heart of God who sees the potential in each one of us. And they have the patience to draw it out.


Few of us will be earth changing leaders. All of us can be life changing people who have the heart of Barnabas and who call out the best in others. 

Quiet, patient, faithful courage

There are a segment among us who we need to encourage and give honor to. It is those who live with long term illness and pain and who endure it with patient, faithful courage. The cross they take up daily is a hard one because for many it is a constant one all day, every day.


Few things train us to trust God more fully than ongoing unremitting pain. Paul prayed that God would take His away and God declined saying that His strength was made perfect in His weakness. My dear friend Ann lives with it as she struggles with cancer treatments as does another friend Roger. 


What amazes me is how they handle it with a grace that seems supernatural - and that is exactly the case. It is the daily presence of Jesus and their trust in Him which makes all the difference. But the choice to press into Him daily is no less hard.


My friend, Joni Erikson Tada talks about the inner struggle she faces every morning when she wakes up and has to face the long and painful process of getting ready for her day. Every day she must make a choice and many days it is a hard choice that is a matter of sheer will.


The church needs to come alongside those who struggle with ongoing unremitting pain. Prayer, visits, practical help, meals, words of encouragement (and not flip encouragement or glib statements about God's presence). 


I pray for those who live a quiet, patient, faithful and courageous life with deep pain. I count them as heroes who know what it is to walk a hard path. I count them lucky for the grace they daily experience in the hard places. Don't ignore those in your midst who walk this path.

Giving credit away

Leaders take way too much credit for their success for in reality our success when we see it is less a factor of what we have done and more a factor of what our team has done. That is not a statement of false humility but one of true reality. 


We as leaders may set the pace and direction but it is staff and teams who through collaborative effort make things happen. Too often, however, we are content to take the credit for success rather than lifting up those who did the hardest work, our team. By far, good work in execution is harder than good work that leaders do in setting the direction.


Giving credit away is not always a public thing. The simple act of thanking a staff member for what they are doing with specific explanation of how their contribution has made a difference is a powerful conversation. Many would prefer that over public recognition. And it lets staff know that you have noticed what they do, are aware of their work and deeply appreciate it.


Doing something nice for your team, something that actually costs something once in a while also sends a powerful message. Even in an age of frugality, splurging once in a while on your staff says, "I appreciate you and your work." 


Leaders are often visited by other leaders. Make a point to introduce those who visit you with members of your team that are present in the office. You send a dual message by doing so: to your staff that they are important and to your visitors that you value your staff. 


Finally make it a point to greet your staff and ask about their personal lives and family. They are not simply valuable because they work for you but because they are God's son or daughter. Treat them like you would a family member by showing interest in them as persons, not simply as employees.


If team means anything it means sharing credit with those who together with you make things happen. Your loyalty and appreciation to them will make them loyal and appreciative of you and your leadership. Be generous in sharing credit.

Jesus and our pain

Guest blogger and partner, Mary Ann Addington

Co-Author of When Life Comes Undone

Last night as I was getting ready to fall asleep I was listening to 

John 11 from the YouVersion  app (LifeChurch TV).  It was one of those times when hearing it delivered in a novel way helped me to understand it in a new light.  

Three things stood out in a new way: First, how intentional Jesus was in letting Lazarus die.  Verse 5-6,”Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.  So that when he heard that he was sick, He stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”  Jesus had a purpose in allowing Lazarus to die and He knew that He would raise Lazarus from the dead.

Second, Jesus wept.  John 11:35 is the verse all kids love to get credit for memorizing.   Jesus had been confronted by Martha and then Mary for not showing up when they needed him and allowing their brother to die.  Jesus is not offended by their rebuke and gently reminds Martha that He is the resurrection and the life.   Mary, Martha, and Lazarus’s home in Bethany was a place where Jesus could just hang out over a good meal and enjoy the human pleasure of friendship.  When Jesus wept it was not for the death of a friend that he loved because he already knew that Lazarus would live again, but He wept for the pain in the hearts of his friends.

Third, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and in doing so triggered the conspiracy by the chief priests and Pharisees to kill him.  It would have been a whole lot simpler to stay on the banks of the Jordan River and avoid that whole mess.

Like Martha and Mary there have been times in life when I have asked, “Why Lord?  Why did I have miscarriages instead of daughters?  Why did my mom have to die a long and painful death after a car accident?  Why do we still live with the results of serious illness? Why do we have to live with pain?   I don’t get why you allow babies to die, why people I love suffer and die; why there is so much cruelty and injustice.”  We all have heard people say if God is so good why does he allow bad things to happen to good people?  Why does life hurt so much some times?

In allowing evil God allowed each of us to choose to love Him and live for Him.  In coming to earth and dying and rising again Jesus provided the ultimate solution for evil and the opportunity for each of us to “rise again on the last day,” as Martha said.  

God could intervene in every situation and save us from them, but chose instead to provide a much bigger solution that lasts for eternity.  It would have been a lot less messy for Jesus never to enter into our problem of pain and evil and to suffer and die for a problem he had nothing to do with starting.  He could have stayed distant and fixed millions of painful situations without feeling the pain or effort of really getting in the mess of life with us.

Jesus wept.  Not for his loss, but for our pain.  When we cry out in pain, Jesus weeps with us.  He fully bought into our brokenness and he walks with us through the mess of our pain.  Sometimes when a prayer group I am a part of is praying for a victim of abuse or other hard situations we will ask them to ask Jesus where he was when it was happening .  So far, in our experience, they can always find him and he is always weeping with them in their pain.

Jesus came to earth and got into the messy business of humans.  Jesus suffered and died a messy death to provide a solution for the ultimate cause of our pain.  Jesus rose again bringing the promise of our own resurrection and eternal life.  Jesus wept and still weeps with us in our pain.

No Neutral Ground

In every relationship we have we either contribute positively to the other or negatively. There is never any neutral ground. We either build the other up or diminish them in some way.

Recently we had a long stay in a hotel in Hong Kong. The day before we checked out the maid who did the nightly turn down asked Mary Ann for her email address. Mary Ann had given her dignity and developed a relationship with her during our stay. I wonder how often that happens to a hotel maid? And how easy it would have been to allow her to fade into background of our stay!

We meet people every day who because of their position or lack of status fade into the background. They are all around us but invisible to us. For Christ followers, there is no neutral ground. These are potential sons and daughters of the king, no small matter and our response to them either brings them dignity or diminishes them as the world often does.

Jesus was the master at finding those that the world diminished and giving them attention and dignity. If he were a greeter in one of our churches he would be looking for the loner, the poor, the one burdened by sin and in need of grace and be there talking to them, extending friendship. Jesus would go out of his way to give dignity to the "undignified," and honor to the "dishonored." Do we?

Try this experiment for one week: Look for all the invisible people that surround you. They serve you fast food, make your coffee, clean your office, do your lawn, or check you out of the grocery store. Go out of your way to engage them, thank, them and give them dignity. Taking them for granted is to diminish them. Remember, there is no neutral ground. We either build people up or diminish them.

Growing your ministry by developing new relationships

It is counter intuitive but a key way to grow your ministry is to focus on relationships outside of your ministry and normal relational circle. Relationships are the door openers to all kinds of opportunities, help, counsel and ideas. The wider our circle of relationships the richer our lives and leadership.

The reason it is sometimes counter intuitive is that we often feel like we don't have time to develop a wide set of relationships given the busyness of our lives and the demands of leading our own ministry. However, relationships are leverage for growth in our own lives and consequently growth in our own ministries. 

As a ministry leader, I intentionally take the time to develop relationships with other leaders. In doing so I am blessed by:

• Learning new things from new people
• Meeting a new circle of leaders who other leaders know
• Finding synergies where we can work together
• Gaining advocates or counsel when I need them
• Finding solutions for common issues
• Meeting people I can serve in various ways
• Enjoying the fellowship of individuals who have similar values and goals

Every new relationship widens my own world and the world of others. I am enriched and hopefully I enrich others. In fact, who I am today is directly connected to the number of people who have enriched my life and leadership. I owe many people many thanks and I would not be where I am today without those relationships.

Over the years I have grown a considerable library. Those books are my friends and I love to commune with them. But more significant is the group of friends that I have grown who in various ways contribute to my life and ministry and to whom I can contribute. It is a world wide group and each one is important to me.

Never underestimate the value of taking the time to develop relationships outside of your normal circle and from other ministries. You never know how those connections will enrich you, allow you to enrich them, open doors, provide counsel and or simply allow you or them to be connectors with others in ways that build God's kingdom. For those who say, "I don't have time," my response is that it is some of the best time you will invest.

The power of unselfish relationships in ministry

It has been said, "There are no innocent conversations," meaning that there is always an agenda in every conversation. I agree that there is often an agenda, and those agendas can be healthy and intentional in growing ministry or effectiveness. However, not all relationships have or should have an agenda apart from giving ourselves away in unselfish ways.

I am a great believer in unselfish relationships in ministry. Relationships that are intentionally developed where I have nothing to gain through the relationship and where there is no quid pro quo! Unselfish relationships are relationships where I am able to give, encourage and share expertise or tools without expecting anything in return. It is a Kingdom mentality rather than a selfish mentality.

A philosophy of generous living includes thinking beyond ourselves or our ministries. When I lead the organization I am responsible for I carry out my responsibilities and have something to gain as an organizational leader. All good. However, when I give myself away to other organizations or leaders where I have nothing to gain I more fully reflect the generous heart of God. I want to intentionally live beyond the self interest that drives us all to varying degrees. The best way for me to do that is to give myself away where I have nothing to gain. Each time I do, I experience the joy of God in new ways.

It also reminds me that it is not about the brand but about the Bride.  A great goal for every congregation would be to give themselves away to another congregation, even of another denomination that needs their help. That unselfish gift would change the heart of both congregations. It is in giving ourselves away unselfishly that we grow Kingdom hearts. Congregations that are committed to Kingdom Projects in their communities are doing the same thing and experiencing the transformation that unselfish living brings.

Another way to give ourselves away is to quietly mentor and coach others who come behind us. I try to be involved in ten mentoring relationships at any one time. It is a quiet but powerful way to leave a legacy and influence the next generation of Christian leaders. 

I find that as I develop relationships for the sake of encouraging others that when the time comes where there may be synergies, they emerge out of genuine relationship. Unselfish investments in relationships bless both us and our friends and it results in ministry synergies. And we reflect the amazingly generous heart of God.

Failures and disappointments are often God's redirection

Our ability to see the full scope of our lives and God's plan is amazingly limited. As Paul says, we see through a glass darkly but will one day see Him face to face. Because of our limited view, we often do not see that the failures and disappointments we face are nothing other than God's redirection of our lives to those places where He can use us the most.

Consider Moses who failed at being an Egyptian prince so God could use him to lead the people out of bondage. Or, Joseph who failed at being a brother so that he could save his whole family from famine. My greatest perceived failure brought me to where I am today, and right where I believe God wants me to be. As the book of Proverbs says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps (Proverbs 16:9)." How often God has redirected my steps in ways that I did not understand at the time but in retrospect have more clarity.


This ought to cause us to ask in failure and disappointment, "Is God up to something?" "Does He have something in mind that is greater than our disappointment?" Since He establishes our steps and has our best interests in mind, chances are He does. 


This allows us to change our prayer from "why?" to "What?" Obviously God has something different for us than we expected, the question is "what is it?" Asking why keeps us focused on our disappointment while asking what focuses on God's intentions and what He has for us next. Two very different perspectives that lead to two very different attitudes.


Here is something we know for sure: God is always up to something, even in our failures and disappointments. We are never abandoned or left alone so even in the worst place we can look with anticipation at what He has for us. This truth gives us the courage to move forward even in dark days. We know He is up to something, we just don't know what - yet!

When truth becomes toxic

We value truth in evangelicalism because our faith and practices are grounded in God's truth. Francis Schaeffer called God's truth "true truth" and without a doubt there is much that passes for "truth" today that is anything but.


Truth, however, is a bit like dynamite. Handled carefully it is healing and helpful, as Paul said "useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17)." But, if mishandled, it becomes legalistic, a hammer that wounds, and hurts rather than heals. Especially when truth is applied without grace.


Jesus was all about truth. Jesus was also all about grace. The Apostle John says He was the perfect blend of grace and truth. Can you imagine what we deserve if God did not extend grace to us? Yet how often do we use truth without grace when dealing with others?


The account of the woman caught in adultery and brought to Jesus is a great lesson. The fact that she was guilty is clear by Jesus' words, "go and sin no more." Truth without grace would have said, "stone her." Grace said, "He who is without sin throw the first stone" and "go and sin no more." Of course, the guys who brought her to Jesus were not about grace, or actually truth for that matter as they conveniently forgot to bring the fellow she was caught with.


There are in the church men and women, like these fellows, who are self appointed theology and behavior police. Legalistic, moralistic and self assured of their right to point out the wrongs of others, using "truth" or scripture to push their agendas or make themselves feel good - at the expense of grace. Truth without grace is indeed a scary thing. The combination as seen in Jesus' interactions is a life changing paradigm. It is like the parable of the master who forgives his servant's debt only to have that servant go and demand payment from the one who owed him. Grace had been received but was not extended.


This is how the pharisees of the New Testament used truth. It was hard, harsh, devoid of grace and Jesus called them hypocrites because those who are most judgemental are most hypocritical as none of us can live up to standards of perfection. We are all in need of grace. 


Much conflict in the church and relationships comes down to a willingness to use truth at the expense of grace. It lacks the very patience, understanding, mercy and gentleness that God uses when He deals with us. The words may be truth but the attitude behind them has nothing to do with the attitude of Jesus. We are lucky that He does not do to us what we often do to others. I know churches with grace in their name whom are devoid of grace inside their own walls. This is when truth becomes toxic, damaging and harsh rather than healthy, healing and gentle. 


We are all guilty at times of allowing truth to become unhealthy because our attitudes toward others do not reflect the wonderful, gentle, caring, patient, merciful and abundant grace of Jesus. Handle grace and truth carefully and it is a beautiful thing. Mishandle it, and like dynamite it causes a lot of damage. As Jeremiah so aptly said in Lamantations, "Because of His great love for us we are not consumed (even though they deserved it)." Why then do we consume one another? Why do we so often choose not to extend to one another the very grace that God extended to us in Jesus? The short answer is sin. But when we extend that grace it is a beautiful thing indeed. Who in your life needs your grace?

The amazing power of hope

In the uncertainties, disappointments, challenges and realities of life there are few more powerful practices than living with hope! As Isaiah writes so eloquently, "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31)." 


We choose whether we will live in hope or despair, hope or discouragement. God gives us hope, we choose whether we will grab onto it or ignore it. That is Isaiah's point. When in the midst of our discouragements we choose to hope in the Lord, He renews our strength in amazing ways.


In the midst of great disaster, Jeremiah said, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed (Lamentations 3:21)." And again, "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord (Lamentations 3:25-26)."


What is hope? It is not some ill conceived concept of self help that believes that because we hope for something it will come to pass. That is not hope but an empty promise. Hope is grounded in a good God who always has our best interests in mind, always acts in goodness toward us and always provides the encouragement we need in the middle of even the greatest crises. Hope is grounded in who He is. 


Hope is also grounded in the gifts that we have been given in Jesus. Paul writes to the Ephesians, "I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. (Ephesians 1:18-19)." Our hope is found in Jesus who has made us family and given us the riches of who He is for all eternity.


But what about those times when we seem to be out of hope? When life is hard and hope is scarce? Hope and faith are tied together in Hebrews 11:1. "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." What we hope for are everything God has promised and we have faith that He will deliver on His promises - even when it looks like that is not the case!


Hope is not pretending that life is good when life is hard. Rather, it is knowing that God is present even when life is hard and that is why we have hope. He is our hope - not our circumstances. 


Every day ought to be a day of hope. Hope in the blessings of God, hope in the presence of God, hope in the intervention of God in our lives and hope in the circumstances of life, knowing that God is with us and for us. For the believer, no matter what the circumstance there is hope. Our ultimate hope our assurance of living in His presence one day. Where God is present there is always hope! We may be blind to it, but it is always there!


PS. If you are in need of hope today, the book Mary Ann and I wrote When Life Comes Undone: Walking in Faith When Life is Hard and Hope is Scarce is for you. You will find it on the left side of the blog. 

One intentional act of kindness in Jesus name

What would happen if we challenged our congregations to engage in one act of kindness in Jesus' name every week? Just one intentional act toward a friend, neighbor, co-worker or even stranger they come across? One act of kindness where we go out of our way to extend grace, help, give a kind word, pray with them, write a note of encouragement, walk across the street to engage a neighbor in conversation,  provide a needed meal or meet a need. One intentional act of kindness in Jesus' name.

It sounds inconsequential but we can wrap our heads around one intentional act of kindness a week - where we go out of our way to meet a need. And, we start looking for that opportunity and who knows, maybe a mindset would set in that we could even do this more often. Multiply that one intentional act by 52 weeeks and the number of folks in our congregation and all of a sudden one has critical mass.

Our lives are busy and our weeks are often packed with more activities than we can stuff into them. Committing to just one intentional act of kindness toward others in the course of our week starts to raise our awareness of the needs of others and the opportunities we have to minister to them. It may also change our mindset over time and if a whole congregation did it together and shared their experiences it would be powerful.

Think about it for your life, or your church. One intentional act of kindness each week in Jesus' name. Just one. Soon you won't settle for only one!

Graciousness

The interactions of Jesus with people overflowed with graciousness, gentleness and love. The only exception was when He dealt with the Pharisees and hypocrites (often one and the same) where he appropriately rebuked their heart attitudes. But think of his interaction with the woman at the well, Mary and Martha, Nicodemus, the blind man Bartemaeus and the list could go on. People gravitated to Jesus because of His love, His unconditional acceptance and the grace which He exuded.

Contrast that with the way we often deal with one another in God's family. Hard words, unnecessary barbs, sharpness, putting others down or in their place, calling into question motives, anger, irritation, unforgiveness and words that once spoken or sent in an email cannot be taken back. There is a great deal of ungraciousness among God's people that is incompatible with the example of Jesus and the teaching of the New Testament.

Think about Paul's letter to the Ephesians on this subject. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up...Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other...Be imitators of God...and live a life of love...(Ephesians 4-5)." Or Romans: "Live in harmony with one another...live at peace with everyone...Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another...(Romans 12-13)."

There are times when we must have hard conversations but even in those they can be done with graciousness. Perhaps the hardest people to be gracious to are those we are closest to because it is easy to take them for granted - a spouse or colleague. The test of our graciousness is not those so much we don't know but those we do know and whose weaknesses we are well aware of.

I want to be known as a gracious leader, friend, husband and colleague. There are days when I fail miserably but my desire is to see people and treat people as Jesus did. This includes kindness and warm courtesy, tact, a merciful and compassionate nature, sympathy, and politeness. It is what my late uncle Warren had that caused us all to want to be around him. He was the definition of graciousness and it was a magnet to others.

Loving others is the foundation of graciousness toward them. Further, they are men and women made in the very image of God. Harsh attitudes don't come from God - loving attitudes do.

Ten markers of grace filled people and congregatons

There are ten characteristics of congregations that are grace filled. These ten markers set them apart from the vast majority of congregations in the world. All are directed toward other people but come out of hearts that have been radically transformed by the grace of Jesus in their own lives. Congregations that have these markers are like magnets to believers who have never experienced this kind of grace and to spiritual seekers who encounter a new kind of Christian in those who exhibit these Jesus traits. Think about these markers in your life and their power when multiplied throughout a congregation.


Grace filled people assume the best of one another. Every relationship is one assumption away from misunderstanding and misunderstandings create relationship breakage. Usually, however, our assumptions about the intention of the other party are wrong: they did not intend to cause us pain. Assuming the best of others and their actions is a grace thing to do and it prevents unnecessary relational breakage.

When an offense has been committed either by us or against us, grace filled people quickly move to repair the relationship where that is possible. They are quick to forgive and resist holding onto offenses committed.


Grace filled people cultivate generous rather than critical spirits towards others. There is plenty to be critical of others about just as Christ could be deeply critical about us. Like Him we choose to love rather than criticize and cultivate as spirit of acceptance (a critical spirit is really a spirit of non-acceptance). Critical spirits also come from our own pride.

Grace filled people love to extend grace to those who need it and we all do - often. It is grace to forgive, to give people the benefit of the doubt, to love those who have fallen, to accept those who are struggling with sin, addictions or just the consequences of the fall. When hard words need to be said, they are always said in love rather than in condemnation. Their goal is always restoration and health.

Grace filled people are transparent about their own issues, struggles and failures in appropriate settings. They don't pretend that they have it all together (none of us do). They are willing to share their struggles because they are not living with masks or pretense. It takes only one man to share his struggle with porn, to send a message to many others also struggling in secret that there are others like them and it is OK to admit one's need. Transparency is the first step toward growth.


Grace filled people love to pray for others. In grace filled congregations it is a common sight to simple see people in conversation and then being prayed for. Issues of life are quickly lifted up the the throne without embarrassment or apology. Taking people and their situations to the throne of God is valued, practiced and habitual. 


Grace filled people love the unloved, those who live on the margins, those who the rest of society forget or shuttle to the side. This includes the poor and the disabled. Just as Jesus had a radar for the down and out so do grace filled people. They have cultivated the heart of God for all people, not just people like them. This is one of the reasons that grace filled congregations are always involved in the community, meeting needs and sowing love.


Grace filled people love to love on others. Words of encouragement, acts of kindness, help in crisis. They are lovers of people because people matter to God. When opportunities to help others come across their path they do what they can to help, to love and encourage.


Grace filled people speak with kind, encouraging and loving words. Words that lift, words that encourage, words that build up, words that quiet anger. People leave their presence with a greater sense of their worth and knowing that they are loved. 

Grace filled people always point people toward the source of all grace - Jesus. They are not content to be people of grace but want others to know the source of that grace. They love to introduce others to the the One from whom all grace flows, Jesus.

I wish for this kind of grace in my life and I wish for this kind of grace in my church - and in all churches.