When truth becomes toxic

We value truth in evangelicalism because our faith and practices are grounded in God's truth. Francis Schaeffer called God's truth "true truth" and without a doubt there is much that passes for "truth" today that is anything but.


Truth, however, is a bit like dynamite. Handled carefully it is healing and helpful, as Paul said "useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17)." But, if mishandled, it becomes legalistic, a hammer that wounds, and hurts rather than heals. Especially when truth is applied without grace.


Jesus was all about truth. Jesus was also all about grace. The Apostle John says He was the perfect blend of grace and truth. Can you imagine what we deserve if God did not extend grace to us? Yet how often do we use truth without grace when dealing with others?


The account of the woman caught in adultery and brought to Jesus is a great lesson. The fact that she was guilty is clear by Jesus' words, "go and sin no more." Truth without grace would have said, "stone her." Grace said, "He who is without sin throw the first stone" and "go and sin no more." Of course, the guys who brought her to Jesus were not about grace, or actually truth for that matter as they conveniently forgot to bring the fellow she was caught with.


There are in the church men and women, like these fellows, who are self appointed theology and behavior police. Legalistic, moralistic and self assured of their right to point out the wrongs of others, using "truth" or scripture to push their agendas or make themselves feel good - at the expense of grace. Truth without grace is indeed a scary thing. The combination as seen in Jesus' interactions is a life changing paradigm. It is like the parable of the master who forgives his servant's debt only to have that servant go and demand payment from the one who owed him. Grace had been received but was not extended.


This is how the pharisees of the New Testament used truth. It was hard, harsh, devoid of grace and Jesus called them hypocrites because those who are most judgemental are most hypocritical as none of us can live up to standards of perfection. We are all in need of grace. 


Much conflict in the church and relationships comes down to a willingness to use truth at the expense of grace. It lacks the very patience, understanding, mercy and gentleness that God uses when He deals with us. The words may be truth but the attitude behind them has nothing to do with the attitude of Jesus. We are lucky that He does not do to us what we often do to others. I know churches with grace in their name whom are devoid of grace inside their own walls. This is when truth becomes toxic, damaging and harsh rather than healthy, healing and gentle. 


We are all guilty at times of allowing truth to become unhealthy because our attitudes toward others do not reflect the wonderful, gentle, caring, patient, merciful and abundant grace of Jesus. Handle grace and truth carefully and it is a beautiful thing. Mishandle it, and like dynamite it causes a lot of damage. As Jeremiah so aptly said in Lamantations, "Because of His great love for us we are not consumed (even though they deserved it)." Why then do we consume one another? Why do we so often choose not to extend to one another the very grace that God extended to us in Jesus? The short answer is sin. But when we extend that grace it is a beautiful thing indeed. Who in your life needs your grace?

Healthy character traits

Character is the foundation that gives us influence in ministry. Think about these markers as you evaluate yourself as a ministry leader or a person who values character.


Truthful
Character is always based on truth and never on lies. Jesus called the evil one the father of lies while he said that His word was truth. Whenever we skirt the boundaries of truth we compromise our character. As Mark Twain said, "If you always tell the truth you never have to remember what you said."


Forthright
Being honest, upfront and forthright is a mark of Character. There is no question in the minds of others what you are thinking and there is never a need to say different things to different people for the forthright individual. What you see and here is what you get. Part of character is being self defined and willing to state your views.


Non defensive
People of character are not afraid of being challenged or people who disagree with them. They have developed a non-defensive spirit because they know that life is not about them but about honoring Jesus and being all that we can be, personally and organizationally.


Controlled
People of character are able to control their emotions so that they don't hurt others. They are slow to anger, quick to forgive, love reconciliation and are careful of what they say - so that they build others up rather than tear them down. They have learned to control their emotions and reactions in ways that are healthy.


Without hidden agendas
People of character never hide their true agendas. It is not that we don't have an agenda but whatever it is it is stated and in the open. Hidden agendas lack a truth component which is so important to character. Truthfulness and forthrightness preclude hidden agendas. This is a person who is without guile.


Trustworthy
People of character keep their word and can be counted on to fulfill the promises they make. In other words, they can be trusted to do what they say they will do. Our word is our bond and our promises are sacred. 


Fair
People of character are fair in how they treat people and do not play favorites with those they lead. Even when decisions are not what they hoped for, they know they have been treated fairly.


Consistent
People of character display the same character in the dark when no one is looking as they do in their public life. They are integrated people whose private life matches their public persona. 


Humble
At the heart of character is humility. It is what makes possible all the other traits of good character. Humility is necessary for teachability, for growth, for character development and for healthy relationships with others. Pride makes for poor character. Humility makes for great character.

Learning to hear God's voice. Are you listening?

How does God speak to us through the Holy Spirit? There are probably many ways as we are each uniquely wired but often it is through "impressions" or "promptings" that come to us. Impressions or promptings are like watermarks on good paper. It is there if you look for it but not always obvious. It takes attention to see it.


Impressions are like that. They don't scream at us, they are just there. Often we don't pay too much attention but we should! It just might be the God of the universe talking back to us which is a big WOW! Some might call it intuition and certainly intuition fits the description. I will often mull and pray over an issue for a period of time and then one day it is like a light bulb goes on or an impression settles on me and I know I have an answer. Often, the Holy Spirit has provided me with counsel - divine counsel.


The descriptors that Jesus used to describe the person and the role of the Holy Spirit in John are helpful in this regard: "Advocate," "Spirit of truth," the one who will "teach us all things," the One who will "guide you into all the truth," who "will tell you what is yet to come," One who will "help you and be with you forever," (John 14-17).


Clearly the Holy Spirit communicates with those who are Christ followers. Why else would God have him take up actual residence in our bodies? Christ in us - through the Holy Spirit. He is after all our Counselor. The issue is not whether He communicates but whether we have trained ourselves to hear. 


When my wife, Mary Ann wants my attention her physical presence and voice let me know. (Even then, being of the male species, I might not actually hear. At least that is what she claims and which I take exception to). So, how much more attention on our part does it take to "hear" the Holy Spirit who rarely speaks with an audible voice but is a quiet presence in our hearts who wants to get our attention from time to time? When He gently messes with the neurons in my brain to impress something on me, do I hear?


Here is where our attention comes in. I have learned not to dismiss those impressions but to pay close attention to them. I have a suspicion that when I get to heaven and ask God why He didn't answer such and such a prayer He will show me all the ways He spoke back but my hearing was not very good. I want to sharpen my hearing to His promptings because if they are coming from the voice of God it is truly important for me to hear!


I realize we hear from God imperfectly just as my wife would report (incorrectly I might add) about her communications to me. Sometimes I do a better job than other times. But learning to be aware of the impressions or promptings of the Holy Spirit is a skill that can be cultivated and developed. 


Think about instances where you have had impressions or promptings that you know are from the Holy Spirit. Then do two things. Ask the Father to make you more sensitive to His "voice" in your life and then pay attention. He might just surprise you.


Remember, "I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you (John 14:14-17). He is there. Are you listening?

Robust dialog: Creative conflict that raises the level of missional discourse

Over and over again I run into teams, organizations and groups that do not know how to have candid, honest, robust discussion. As a result there are many elephants in the room that cannot be discussed and which create an underlying mistrust within the group - that is what elephants do. 

Lets define robust dialogue. It is the ability to address any issue in the  team or organization as long as there are not hidden agendas or personal attacks. No personal attacks keeps the discussion at the strategic or organizational level. No hidden agendas means that we are upfront with why we are asking the question or pushing into an issue. Hidden agendas create mistrust while being honest and direct creates trust. 

Unfortunately there are plenty of people who agree with robust dialogue but who are operating with hidden agendas - behind the scenes maneuvering and politics hidden behind a facade of wanting to solve a problem or address an issue. In reality they have an agenda as to where the discussion ends up and they are maneuvering the end result toward their intended ends. This is neither fair nor helpful.

The very concept of robust dialogue where any issue can be put on the table as long as there are no hidden agendas or personal attacks is that it is in the strong discourse of different ideas and options that we actually get to solutions that are better than any of us would have come up with individually. But - there must be an ethos on the team, modeled by the leader that it is not only OK but it is valued to put issues on the table (graciously) that need to be addressed.

What prevents robust dialogue? First, leaders who are threatened by anything negative being said - and they perceive any potential criticism as negative. Frankly, that is poor leadership and I would never again work for a leader who was threatened by robust dialogue.

Second, elephants that everyone knows cannot be addressed because the group cannot handle talking about the issue. I was recently with a board that told me there were many elephants in the room that they have not been able to talk about for years and it was those elephants that were keeping them from moving forward. I asked what they were and we proceeded to name them. Once named, elephants are no longer elephants but issues that need to be resolved. Wherever elephants exist, there is not true robust dialogue.

Third, fear keeps some groups from engaging in honest dialogue. The fear is around what it might do to the dynamics of the group. Feeling good about one another and about the ministry takes precedence over honest evaluation of where things really are. Feeling comfortable trumps missional fulfillment. This is where many groups need to grow (up) and put mission before comfort and press into missional health and fulfillment.

Why is robust dialogue so important? Because it is in the conflict of ideas that we come to new solutions and ways of thinking. Those new solutions would never have emerged without the intellectual capital and clash of ideas. That is why ministries that invite and encourage robust dialogue are those who are on the cutting edge of change and effectiveness.

Subjective and objective organizational clarity

One of the most frustrating paradigms for staff to work under is subjective clarity. This is organizational clarity that exists in the mind of a leader rather than clearly defined on paper clear with staff. With subjective clarity, in order to know what is acceptable or not, what directions to pursue or strategies that are "OK" one needs to talk to the leader. The organizational clarity is essentially what is acceptable to them but since it is not spelled out one either must ask permission or forgiveness after the fact (if they get it wrong).


Subjective clarity by definition means that one has a permission withholding culture in the organization. One cannot move forward without the permission of the leader since we cannot read his/her mind. If you get it wrong there is often the duplication of effort as you must go back to redo what was previously done, but this time in the way the leader desires. Subjective clarity is a moving target that disempowers staff, makes the leader a bottle neck in decisions, allows him/her to micromanage and frankly is the sign of either a poor or immature leader.


Objective clarity is clarity that is clearly defined for all staff, understood by staff and is the "measure" they go back to when thinking about what they do and how they do what they do. It is clarity around things like mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and culture with commonly held definitions of what they mean and how they are articulated. 


This takes the organizational clarity out of the subjective realm of the leader's mind and puts it in an objective form that all can go back to for direction, guidance and decision making. With objective clarity, one moves to a permission granting organization where staff can move forward without constantly consulting their leader because they know what the ground rules are. In addition, the how of what they do is largely left up to them as long as they achieve the mission of the organization.


There are many organizations who do not yet operate with objective clarity. This is especially true in the church where the senior pastor has whatever subjective clarity he has in his head and staff must go through him on all major initiatives. It works, to a point, but it is permission withholding and it disempowers staff. Getting to a commonly held clarity is a far better route to take and attracts much better long term staff. They know what the mission is and what the non negotiables are.


If you are in the subjective side, make the transition to the objective side. Subjective clarity is actually not clarity. It is simply the thinking of one person at the time they are asked. It is arbitrary and inconsistent. 


If you need more information on getting to clarity, Leading From the Sandbox, chapters two, three and four are focused on that topic.

I would be happy if.....

Have you ever fallen into the trap of thinking that "I would be happy if.....?" Maybe it is a new car, a new spouse, a new house, that nifty flatscreen TV or whatever. "I would be happy if..." robs us of happiness today and defines happiness by our circumstances, our possessions or some external factor in our lives when happiness can only come from the inside! As soon as our happiness is defined by external things we are robbed of the ability to live in happiness every day.


Relying on the external for the core joy and happiness of our lives is the reason so many people chase after stuff, experiences and even sin at the expense of a relationship with Jesus which is the true source of joy and happiness. "I would be happy if...." is an empty promise! As soon as one attains that thing that will supposedly make us happy, the goal line changes and we find another "I would be happy if...." When our joy and happiness comes from within (and from God) we have the real deal and no one can rob us of it.



Joyful living is a gift of the Holy Spirit (one of the fruits of the Spirit) and it is a choice that each of us make every day. As a gift of the Spirit it is available to us at any time, regardless of our circumstances. That does not mean we don't wish some things were different in our lives or hope they will be different someday. It does mean that we choose a posture of joy in whatever circumstances we find ourselves because we are intentionally walking with God and conscious of His provision, care, and love.


A key to joyful living is the fostering of an ongoing spirit of thanksgiving to God for all of His blessings. Numerous times in the New Testament or Psalms we are told to be people of thanks and to live with an attitude of thanks. "Thank you Jesus" ought to be the mantra of our days. The more thankful we are the more joy we possess because thankfulness leads to a joyful heart.


It is an irony that many of the most joyful and happy people I have met are those who have suffered the most. Their circumstances did not determine their joy, their relationship with God did. Any of you who have been in the presence of Joni Eareckson Tada know exactly what I mean. Joy radiates from her paraplegic body and her singing, smile and words of encouragement infect all around her. But she would be the first to tell you it is a daily choice and not always an easy one. 


In the next 24 hours, simply live in a spirit of thanksgiving and see what it does for your happiness factor.

Generosity by ministry personnel and missionaries

Ministry personnel - pastors, missionaries and others who work in ministries are often asking others to give generously to their ministries. In fact, they and their ministries are dependent on the gifts and generosity of others. 


I have a belief that those who see their needs met are usually those who live a life of generosity themselves. That is because God responds to our generosity with His generosity. Paul indicates this in 2 Corinthians 9:6-9 "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: 'They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor: their righteousness endures forever.'"


I often want to ask missionaries who are raising support: How generous are you? I have met many Christian workers who say, "My time and energy are my generosity" as if financial generosity does not  apply to them as well. I don't know why we in ministry should expect God to bless us with the financial needs we have if we ourselves are not living generous lives, financially and otherwise! 


In fact, I believe that those in Christian work ought to be the very models of what it means to be generous - regardless of what they make. We of all people understand the theology of generosity that comes from a generous God who has made us heir to all of his riches and glory through redemption and salvation.


Pastors and missionaries may rationalize their lack of generosity with the fact that they make less than others. In fact, many people who are generous don't make a great deal of money. Rather, they have cultivated a lifestyle of generosity. I have often met with people over the years to thank them for their giving to ministry only to find out that they are people of very modest means who have chosen to give generously to God's work. Each time, I am deeply humbled by their commitment and joy of giving. 


A life of generosity on all fronts reflects the gift of Jesus to us - He who gave up everything so that we could know Him. No matter how much or little we have, why would we not want to reflect in our lives the generosity that God showed to us and continues to shower on us?


Want to have all that you need for life and ministry? Sow abundantly. Live generously. God will and does respond.