For those whose marriages did not turn out the way they anticipated

Life often does not turn out the way we thought it would and this is often true in marriages. If you are struggling in your marriage this is a powerful, powerful song by Casting Crowns.

Broken Together by Casting Crowns

Terrorism and missions

This has been a banner year for terrorism around the world from Syria to Turkey, Paris, Orlando, Bangladesh, Iraq, and the list could go on for a long time. Terrorism is meant to strike fear in others and it does it very well. It can also put a damper on missions efforts globally as family objects to their children going into what they perceive to be "harms way."

While we do not live in a safe world it is also true that disparate events become much larger than they are because of the news cycle. The networks hunger for big stories and they will feed off those stories as long as they can until the next big story appears. I do not mean to minimize the evil nature of these events but to say that the worlds is not as dangerous as it might appear if our data comes primarily from the 24 hour news cycle.

It is also true that missions has an inherent risk. Whether from traffic accidents in developing world settings, sickness, the frequent travel, being in the wrong place at the wrong time or even being a target of those who hate Christianity. It is a risk that missionaries are willing to take given their calling and most missionaries are by nature more willing to step out of their comfort zone than are others. In addition, because of their travel and knowledge of the world they are often more aware of the true risks and of ways to minimize those risks. I have often travelled in places that the State Department issues warnings for and trust the knowledge of the local hosts who understand what is safe and what is unsafe.

The spread of the Gospel is not without risk and yet without someone stepping out with the best news the world has ever known we do not fulfill the Great Commission which calls us to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth with the promise that Christ is with us each step of the way. Ironically, it is often in places that are most insecure that the Gospel flourishes as individuals look for answers to the insecurity of their own lives and are far more open to Christ because of it.

Most mission agencies are prudent when it comes to risks to their personnel as they should be. But at the end of the day, if God calls individuals to represent him on the front lines - as He did Paul - we need to also trust Him to be with them. Western missionaries are no less exempt from persecution and danger than are national missionaries who often work in very troubled and dangerous places. As Jim Elliott said so presciently before his own death, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

If you have pangs of fear for those you support on the mission field, reread the Great Commission and consider it in its fullness. As Scripture says, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."

My seat on the bus does not fit me anymore

It happens: roles that once were energizing and satisfying become stale, frustrating and no longer fulfilling. We change, organizations change, leadership changes or our interests change and we need a new challenge. Maybe in a different seat on the same bus or on a different bus entirely. What we need to realize in this situation is that the longer we stay were we are the more frustrated we will be.

The largest factor in not being proactive in looking for a new challenge is comfort. We are comfortable with what we know even when it is no longer satisfying. Job dissatisfaction, however, is a sure sign that we are in the wrong place. And that dissatisfaction is an indication that we cannot be all that we should be in that role and perhaps in that organization.

Which raises a new issue: We were designed to be productive and  use our God given gifts in a role that allows us to do so. When we settle for a role that does not fit us we compromise that opportunity. And our happiness or fulfillment.

What do we do when restless? Here are some suggestions:

• Take a good look at what you are really good at and what you are honestly not good at.
• Ask the question - what fills my tank and what depletes me?
• What kind of culture do I want to work in?
• What kind of leadership do I do best with?
• If I could design the perfect job what would it look like?(knowing that we won't get it all)
• Start looking for a position that allows you to maximize your God given gifts.

To the extent that we have the opportunity to position ourselves within our gifting we ought to pursue that goal. And we should not settle for a seat that does not fit us.

Showing grace to ourselves

There are many of us, me included, who need to learn how to be more gentle on ourselves where we don't meet our own standards. Obsessing about a meeting or presentation that could have gone better, beating ourselves up for an idea that failed. Or for believers, being willing to forgive ourselves and let it be when God has forgiven us instead of continuing to resaw the sawdust in our own minds leaving us living in guilt instead of the freedom we have through forgiveness. Satan loves to keep us from experiencing the freedom we have in Christ. He came to redeem and forgive and give us freedom.

Reflect on how Jesus treats us. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)."

If Jesus is gentle with us why are we not gentle with ourselves? If he wants to give us rest for our weary and sinful souls why do we not live in that rest? If he wants to grant us freedom, why would we not live in that freedom? In essence when we do not forgive ourselves when He has we are not fully accepting his gift of forgiveness. And, living in guilt and shame leaves us open to the attack of the evil one in a special way.

All of us live with regrets and past failures. Jesus came to free us from that through His redemption and forgiveness. We are not perfect and will not be till we see Him. Part of followership of Jesus is accepting His grace in our lives and living in grace rather than in guilt and shame. Which are you living in today?

5 marks of humility among leaders

Leadership humility is easily lost as leaders see success and begin to believe that they have all the answers. That is not lost on those they lead. However, there are five practices that can help leaders stay humble and lead with humility. They will also help her/him lead better.

First: I don't have all the answers. We all know that people who think they have all the answers are self-deluded. One of the most humble attitudes leaders can model is that of communicating to their staff that "we have challenges we need to solve, and we need to figure out solutions together because I don't know the best way forward. I may have ideas but I am open to dialogue, discussion and other ideas."

This paves the way for the second practice: I want your input and I will listen to what you have to say. It is amazing what solutions emerge when we are willing to actively solicit opinions and ideas from those around us. And then actively listen to others, no matter where they are in the organization or team. Leaders who actively ask questions, listen well and show respect for the ideas of others lead better and have better information. They also know what their staff are thinking.

Third, if something goes wrong I will take the hit and protect my staff. This is a real test of humility. All of us want to blame others when things go wrong but the best leaders take the blame when there is a problem. Behind the scenes, they may need to have hard conversations but in public they are willing to take the blame for the team.

Fourth, when things go right they give the credit to the team. No leader sees success without the hard work of a team and the best leaders give that team the credit for success. Humble leaders do not call attention to themselves but to the team that did the work together. One of the quickest ways to lose the respect of others is to take credit for what the team did.

Which leads to the fifth practice. A culture where we "do things together."  Staff are not servants to a leader. A leader is an active member of the staff as together they tackle the problems and opportunities they face. "We are in this together" is a powerful ethos for leaders to cultivate with their staff.

Humility is not simply a matter of our heart but it is a matter of our practices in leadership.

Simplicity and clarity are a leader's best friend

Leaders who communicate with simplicity and clarity achieve more because their staff don't need to guess at the direction. Simplicity and clarity win over complicated and convoluted every day. If you cannot tweet your truth it is too complicated.

There are many smart people but fewer who can communicate with such clarity that they can mobilize others. Good leaders have the gift of taking complexity and communicating it with simplicity. This was one of the great gifts of Winston Churchill who could galvanize Briton around simple messages that resonated with those he led.  FDR had the same ability.

Gifted leaders have great knowledge that can be their undoing if they don't take the time to simplify their message until it is short and memorable. Staff and others don't need to know the intricacies of a concept or situation. They need to know the bottom line and direction. This often means that leaders must take the time to reflect on what they are communicating, simplifying and clarifying until they are at the essence of what needs to be communicated. It is not necessarily an easy process but the alternative of complexity  confuses rather than clarifies.

For instance, in the organization I formerly led we were committed to open dialogue on any subject. There are many facets to that but we settled on this way to communicate our commitment: We practice robust dialogue where any issue can be put on the table with the exception of personal attacks or hidden agendas. There is a great deal in that one sentence and it communicates a commitment in a simple and concise way.

Even values and guiding principles that form the culture of an organization must be communicated in a clear and simple way. Not just a word, but with a memorable phrase that captures the essence of what you mean by the value.

It is the job of a leader to understand what needs to be communicated and to take the time to refine that communication for the clearest and simplest way to communicate it. Many leaders do well on the former but default on the latter.

Reinvigorating and reimagining your organization

All organizations whether for profit or non profit go through predictable stages of growth. Someone had a vision in the beginning but at some point that vision is reached and unless care is taken the organization starts to stagnate in the status quo and the impetus for forward movement starts to stall out.

But this need not be the case if senior leaders are constantly thinking about the way forward. In fact it is the job of leaders to constantly ruffle the waters of comfortability without sinking the ship. Without this commitment to keep searching the horizons leaders themselves can become the barrier to forward movement in their organization. And this applies to leaders at all levels of an organization.

The way to counter stagnation is for leaders to reinvision every five years or so. In our fast moving world opportunities change and thus organizations need to learn to be nimble to meet those opportunities without compromising the values and mission of the organization.

The central questions are these:

• What do we want our organization to look like five years from now?
• What new opportunities do we have to fulfill our mission as we look at the changed environment around us?
• What changes do we need to make if we are going to meet those opportunities?
• Is there anything we are doing that is no longer mission critical and should be dropped so that we can focus on issues that have raised to greater importance?
• If we were starting the organization today what would we do differently? And then align to the answer to that question.
• Do we have the right people in the right seats to meet the opportunities of today? If not, how do you use your talent to maximize your impact?

Thinking through these issues is hard work but it is the work that the most innovative organizations do on a regular basis. It is worth the work because the return on mission increases significantly.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.