Transformation of our Priorities

It is the transformation of our thoughts and the bringing of them into alignment with how Christ thinks that makes possible the third area of needed transformation – that of our priorities. Our priorities reveal what is truly important to us rather than what we claim is important to us.



Jesus made an amazing statement in John 6:38, considering that He was one of the three members of the trinity. He said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.” Here was Jesus committed to doing the will of His father, in submission to His father’s will. His highest priority was to do the will of the one who sent Him.


In the same vein, speaking to His disciples he said, “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” For the Christ follower, life is not about us – it is all about Him. To the extent that we believe that life is about Him and that we are here to do His will, we will consult Him regarding what is truly important in our lives.


One of the fundamental decisions each of us makes is whether life is about us or about Christ! Life about us is about our agenda while life about Christ is about His agenda, knowing that He wants to use us to advance His agenda in our world. The two choices are mutually exclusive and how we answer that question will directly determine the influence we have for Him.


Even after we have answered that mega question we face the micro questions in many different ways each day, each week, each month, each year. Life is a series of choices and those choices are smaller versions of the bigger question: Is life about me or about God?


The question of our life agendas is a deeply personal one that requires significant thought and introspection. I know pastors, for instance whose motivation is all about success as defined by numbers which looks very much like a personal agenda. I meet other pastors whose motivation is all about helping God’s people become all that they can be which looks very much like God’s agenda. Both are involved in God’s work but their priorities are different. It is all too possible to be in full time ministry with agendas and priorities that are more about us than about God.


As I lead an international organization, I am always faced by the personal question, is this about me as a leader, or is this about God and His mission for our world? The question is not how others see me (it is always possible to portray a God agenda) but my own personal agendas and motivations and therefore priorities. Are they driven by my ambition and goals or is my ambition that of fulfilling God’s purposes and goals. Without introspection on this issue it is possible to fooled about whose priorities we are looking after and probably all of us have occasions or periods when it is more about us than it is about God. And it is often when we have our priorities mixed up that we get ourselves into trouble.


I believe that the question of agendas and priorities becomes more significant as we grow in our leadership responsibility and scope. Responsibility brings with it power and authority. Success brings with it a history of making more right calls than wrong calls. Thus the temptation to act personally without considering God’s agenda or priorities grows as our self confidence grows. Ironically, the more successful we are the more critical it is to ensure that we understand our motivations and that they are centered on accomplishing God’s will rather than our own.

Our Thinking and Transformation

Paul makes a remarkable statement about how he lived life when he said, “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Think about the picture he paints with this metaphor: taking captive – bringing into submission every thought to make those thoughts obedient to Christ.



What does it mean to make our thoughts obedient to Christ? The implication is that our thoughts can be disobedient to Christ or obedient to Christ! We often think about actions or behaviors that are disobedient or obedient to Christ. But the source of either disobedience or obedience lies first and fundamentally in how we think and whether our thinking is in sync with Christ.


Taking every thought captive is really about intentionally seeking to align our thinking with how God thinks. It is understanding His concerns and making them our concerns, grasping His priorities and making them our priorities, seeking always to understand how Christ would view the issues we are facing or thinking and aligning our thinking with His.


I have often taught in various countries and cultures and received the response when talking about ethical issues that Scriptures speak to, “but this is how we do it in our country” even when their practices are in direct violation of Biblical teaching. My standard response is “there is a way of doing it in your country and a way of doing it in my country but there is also a way of doing it in God’s Kingdom and that is our central concern because we are members of His kingdom.” I say that knowing that for every one of us there are areas where we find it desperately hard to bring our thinking into alignment with Christ’s because we know that in doing so there is a cost to our autonomy! And sometimes it is very inconvenient.


One of the reasons that people of deep influence immerse themselves in Scripture is that they understand that it is the key to understanding the heart of God and the mind of God so that they can align their thinking with God’s thinking. As Paul said in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.


As I write this, our nation is in a political battle over immigration reform with loud and obnoxious voices on all sides. It would be easy to simply take a side, depending on one’s political orientation. But there is a deeper question: What does God have to say about how we treat the widow and orphan or the alien in our midst? In other words, does God have anything to say in the din of opinions, fear and agendas? A reading of the Old Testament would suggest that God does have something to say and I am more concerned that I take into account His concerns than I am of the concerns of my particular political party.


Those who are committed to bringing their thoughts into alignment with God’s values and concerns are always asking themselves, “what does God have to say about this issue? They do not simply accept uncritically the thinking of those around them or the prevailing wisdom of their culture. There is a way of viewing issues in our culture but we are people of God’s kingdom and the two are not the same.


The transformation of our minds and thinking takes place as we evaluate our thinking against God’s Word and examine closely the life of Jesus and His teaching in the Gospels to discern how He thinks. And then it is bringing alignment to our own thinking so that it aligns with His thinking. In the process our minds are literally renewed through the truth and light of God and the result is that we are “able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).


Transformation of our minds only takes place with a deep desire on our part to think like Christ and an intentionality to understand His thinking and align my thinking so that it matches His. This requires more than a surface reading of Scripture. It takes a thoughtful approach to His truth, and a willingness to take our thinking captive, in Paul’s terminology and make it obedient to the thinking of Jesus.

Who does God want us to be?

God wants us to be the person he designed and made us to be. He wants you to be the person he designed and made you to be. Paul says in Ephesians 2:10 that “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The word “workmanship” literally means “a unique work of art” indicating that each of us is a uniquely designed work of art by God of which there are no others like us. God designed a unique me, never to be repeated, and a unique you never to be repeated. We are one of a kind!



And in his creativity he wired and gifted us for a unique purpose that only we can fulfill, for we were “created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God created me to lead the organization I lead. He created me to write books. He created me to be a husband of a wonderful woman and two wonderful boys. And he created me for a unique work in his kingdom that I am uniquely wired to fulfill and the same is true for every one of us no matter what our occupation or circumstance.


Finally you and I were created for relationship with Christ and in Christ we have the two desires of every heart: the desire for relationship (I experience that in Christ and His people); and a desire for significance (the unique work God created just for me for).


When I come to Christ and invite him into my life, the unique me that God created me to be does not change. I was hard wired with gifts of vision, strategy and communication. Everything else I was not hardwired for! In coming to Christ, he takes His creation and infuses it with His Holy Spirit empowering the wiring he gave me at birth, forgiving my sin and launches me on a journey that the New Testament calls sanctification – the life long journey of my lower and sinful nature being taken off piece by piece and His holy nature being put on, piece by piece. That journey of sanctification or spiritual transformation is not complete until we meet him face to face in heaven but it is an amazing and wonderful journey to be on.


Many people have the thinking that God wants to change our lives 180 degrees when we come to Him. That is a misunderstanding of God’s intentions. Many of our behaviors will change and need to change 180 degrees but God wants to take His unique creation and complete that creation which was marred by sin entering our world so many eons ago by helping us become the us He made us to be. The process of us realizing the full potential for which we were created is the process of spiritual transformation.


Many people fear the process of spiritual transformation and never embrace it, believing erroneously that it will cost them too much. This fear is the essence of our old sinful nature that craved autonomy. The prophet Isaiah put that autonomy from God this way: “We all like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). Autonomy from God leads away from God and toward our shadow side. Engaging with God in ongoing life transformation leads us toward His life and character – and His impact on others.


Many others simply do not pay enough attention to this aspect of their lives and end up living at a shallow spiritual level (even many in ministry) substituting activity for true life change. It is a trap that prevents many from realizing their full potential or having the kind of deep influence God designed them for. Shallow spiritual lives lead to shallow influence even if masked by impressive achievements. There simply is no substitute for going deep with Christ!


Christ’s vision for our life is very simple: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). There is a direct connection here between the transforming of our lives, the renewing of our minds and our ability to understand “God’s good, pleasing and perfect will!” The ongoing transformation of our lives as a life priority is directly connected with the influence we have and is a prerequisite for being a person of deep influence.


One of the temptations for ministry leaders who live and work in full time vocational ministry is to substitute work for God (our ministry) for the work of God in our hearts and lives. Not only does this substitution hurt the individual involved as they do not become all that God designed them to be but it hurts those that they influence as their model is one of doing rather than one of becoming. This has led to countless Christ followers who have spent their lives focusing on either doing or modifying behaviors to meet the standards of their church or leader without significant transformation of the deepest core of their lives.


It is a matter of priority. If my priority is that of seeing authentic spiritual transformation take place in my life, I will bring all of life under His lordship and will engage in His business and will modify my life in many areas to bring it into alignment with His. But if I focus instead on doing things for Him and modifying my behaviors rather than that of spiritual transformation I will end up frustrated and with a substitute transformation that is more about me than about Him. Too many Christ followers have settled for the latter rather than committing to the former. The first brings real life change while the latter is often little more than legalism. One ministry I work with actually has a guiding principle called “Intimacy before Impact” to remind themselves of the proper priority!

Leadership and Spiritual Transformation

Our influence as leaders is not so much about how we lead but from what source we choose to lead. The source of our leadership is the key to deep influence and at its core is our desire to embrace the spiritual transformation Christ wants to bring to our lives as we live in relationship with him.



Spiritual transformation leads to changes in our character, lifestyle, habits and practices. All too, often, however we have reversed the order thinking that if we live or act a certain way that we will be pleasing God. Just watch new believers as they are coached by other believers in what lifestyle choices they should embrace and what they should avoid. Quickly they are enculturated into a lifestyle that looks like those around them. What looks a certain way on the outside often has nothing to do with true spiritual transformation. Furthermore, real transformation is a work of the Holy Spirit, not other people as He convicts us of sin and brings us to repentance and new practices that are consistent with the character of God.


Transformation is not about the adoption of a new set of rules and regulations (now that I am a Christ follower) rather than the old set of rules and regulations that I lived by previously. Such an understanding of transformation is as skewed and twisted as that of the Pharisees in the New Testament who substituted outward regulations for inner transformation.


Spiritual transformation is the process by which God, through his Holy Spirit and with our active cooperation, on an ongoing basis brings change to our lives as we allow Him to realign our lives with His. It is a deeply personal process that impacts our hearts, our minds, priorities, relationships and experiences. There is no part of our lives that God does not want to infuse his life into and to bring transformation to.


This transformation is at the core of Influence because the deepest influence we will ever have does not come out of our wisdom or leadership but from a wisdom, character, heart, and mind that have been so transformed by the Holy Spirit that they more and more reflect the wisdom, character, heart and mind of God! This is not primarily about knowing about God (although that is important) but knowing God and choosing a life that is always open to His reformation and actively cooperating with His transformation.

Antidotes to the Shadow Side

All of us have unique vulnerabilities – places or times or situations where a shadow side can show up if we are not aware, careful and have a plan to compensate for them. Vulnerabilities are not something to be ashamed of – we are human – but to be aware of and to manage so that the vulnerability does not turn into something worse.


I know that I am vulnerable when I am overly tired. So does my family who can be the brunt of my cranky attitude. I also know that I am prone to periods of depression if I do not get enough rest. At the same time I tend to say “yes” to too many things and it takes people around me to help me moderate my schedule and think realistically about what my body can take especially after two severe bouts in the ICU that I am still recovering from.


The evil one is described as a prowling lion waiting to devour. Lions love the tall grass where they can hide, watching for just the right moment to attack. They watch for the laggard of the herd, the vulnerable animal and then at the right moment they launch an often fatal blow. That is an accurate description of the evil one who loves to discourage, hurt or take down God’s people. It is also why we must be even more aware in our times of vulnerability than we are in our times of strength. Satan is most likely to attack when we are weak, not strong.


This again takes us back to the importance of self knowledge and acute awareness of our strengths and weaknesses. Satan wants us to live unaware and unexamined lives while the Father wants us to be acutely aware and wise in how we live. After all, every day, there is a lion on the prowl waiting for a moment when he can launch an attack.


Because I am by nature an introvert (in an extrovert’s job), my tendency would be to be by myself when tired and worn out. But that is when I am personally most vulnerable so I compensate by spending time with family or friends rather than by myself. Knowing my vulnerable moments I seek to take offensive moves in order to stay healthy.


I don’t need to repeat the list of temptations common to man that assail us in our weak moments. The list is long and apart from the empowerment of the Holy Spirit we are weak. You know what your vulnerabilities are and I know what mine are. The real question is whether we are intentional in our awareness and have a plan to offset those temptations so that vulnerabilities do not become casualties. All of us are vulnerable, none of us need be casualties to those vulnerabilities.


There is no escaping our shadow side but there are ways to minimize its damage in our lives and in the lives of others. I believe that there are six major antidotes to our shadow sides: none of them are enough in themselves but practice together they are powerful tools toward deep influence. They really involve choices so I am going to posit them as choices we make – and each of us makes them regularly.


Living in isolation or living in relationship


We live in a highly individualistic culture at least in the west. It is easy for us to live in isolation rather than in relationship. Yet it is in authentic relationships with others that life rubs on life, where iron sharpens iron, where we are challenged to be our best and to become all that God intended us to be. Mary Ann and I have made the cultivation of key relationships (we call them friends for life) a high priority in our lives because it is so critical to a “healthy” us.


I am convinced that the healthier our relationships, the healthier we are. The more isolated we live, the greater the opportunity for the shadow side to show itself – and ultimately to hurt our influence.


Living with autonomy or accountability


This follows from the first choice. Choosing to live in authentic relationship is a choice to live with accountability rather than autonomy because with relationship comes healthy accountability. If I were to choose to do something stupid with my life, I know that there are a good number of friends who would show up at my door and call me to reason.


There are also those whom I invite to speak into my life if they sense the shadow side is showing up. They are people I trust, whose feedback I value and who I know have my best interests in mind. Choosing to live with accountability is a major hedge against our shadow sides becoming liabilities. Those who live without accountability and whose relationships are only with those who affirm them rather than who can be honest with them almost always end up on the shoals!


Living with self knowledge rather than an unexamined life


There are things I don’t like about me! But knowing those things is far better than ignoring them and pretending they don’t exist. The better I know me, the better the chance I have that I can cooperate with God so that I become the me I want to be and the me He made me to be. That means knowing how God wired me, where my shadow side is, what my unique vulnerabilities are and where and how I can hurt others because of my makeup.


People of deep influence are always people who are deeply self aware, appropriately introspective so that they understand their motivations, tendencies, areas where they are vulnerable to temptation and how they deal with those vulnerabilities. Their self knowledge includes an understanding of God’s amazing grace in their lives and they are not overwhelmed by their sin but by God’s grace. They are not seeking to prove themselves to God but to simply live in His presence, forgiveness and grace on a daily basis.


Living with humility rather than pride


If we are living with self knowledge it is very hard to be prideful. We know that we are justified by Christ (made clean and whole) and that he is sanctifying us as we walk with him (becoming more and more like him) but we also know that we live with brokenness and sin and shadow sides that we wish were not there. Humility is recognizing that life is about Him, not us and that everything we are is because of Him and His work in our lives.


Pride is a rejection of God’s place in our lives and an elevation of us! A rather presumptuous attitude! Pride does not want to know the truth about ourselves and actually promotes an alternate truth about who I really am. Humility has a nothing to prove/nothing to lose attitude that is not afraid of who the true me is, does not need to wear a façade to pretend there is an alternate me and realizes that I am completely indebted to God for all that I am and have.


Living intentionally or accidently


We are most vulnerable to shadow sides when living without a plan, without the discipline of knowing what our priorities are and living them out in a purposeful fashion. Careless living leads to careless lives and careless lives allow shadow sides to show up without our even being aware of it.


I have never met an individual of deep influence who lived carelessly. The very framework that helps them prevent the impact of their shadow side from becoming a liability is one of careful thought and intentional practice. Managing our shadow side in itself requires a plan that comes out of deep self knowledge.


Living with intimacy or distance with Christ


Our connection to Christ, when we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself to us and to peel back layers of our own lives to reveal sin, disobedience, elements of the lower nature and areas where He wants to work is a critical element in managing our shadow side. Certainly the closer we stay to Christ, the more receptive we are to His nudging in our lives. The further we are from Him the more of us we are relying on for our understanding and wisdom – a dangerous place to be.


As the writer of the book of Hebrews put it, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:2-13). To the extent that we allow the Scriptures to be a mirror against which we see our lives and the Holy Spirit to speak to us about our lives we will become sensitized to our shadow side and allow God to bring His character even to those difficult areas.

Unique Vulnerabilities

Some vulnerabilities are not as obvious as others. In fact, sometimes the very things we yearn for can become our greatest vulnerability! Think about success. All of us want our ministries to be successful and to impact as many as possible. But with success comes a major liability: pride, self-confidence that can push out our need for God or others and a feeling that somehow we are immune from the temptations of others. After all, have we not successfully negotiated life and ministry to get to where we are?



Ministry success has been the vulnerable spot for many. It is not that we should not seek ministry success but we must recognize that the greater our success, the more vulnerable we are to the dark side of success – and its ugly consequences.


One of the classic signs of the dark side of ministry success is unaccountability. In its twisted logic, many successful individuals can come to the conclusion that they do not need the council and accountability of others (usually what got them to where they are) and as they move away from accountability and toward dangerous autonomy there are fewer and fewer people who they listen to and often there is a marginalization of those who give them “bad news” rather than what they want to hear. Pride is one of the most insidious of dark sides for it elevates us above others and sometimes above God. Pride, autonomy, lack of accountability, and eventually twisted thinking come in a package often fueled by success.


With success comes the tendency of others to curry favor rather than to speak honestly. It isolates because of the increased demands that success brings. Those increased demands lesson the time for thinking, self reflection and close relationships which are so foundational for spiritual transformation, self-knowledge and intimacy with Christ. With the accolades of success comes the temptation to actually believe all those things people say about us when in reality if we were honest with ourselves we know that the true us does not match the us that others project upon us.


The more successful we are the more cautious, humble and accountable we must be to avoid the consequences of the shadow side. Successful men and women go in one of two directions – toward humility and accountability or toward pride and autonomy. The former deepens influence while the latter will eventually cause influence to dissipate.


We are also vulnerable in times of failure. This is particularly true for individuals in ministry whose identity is often wrapped up with what they do – confusing their identity in Christ for their ministry identity. Failure calls into question our calling, our competency, God’s intervention (or lack of it) and sometimes our very faith.


In times of failure we have two options and I have watched both play out with friends and acquaintances. Either we press into God in a new way, choosing faith and optimism or we settle for bitterness and a diminished life, often holding God responsible for our situation. Which direction we choose is just that – a choice we make. Life comes undone for all of us at one time or another. It is either an opportunity to move forward and build character and experience or it becomes a pit that we sink into and wallow there.


In no way do I want to minimize the pain of failure. I felt that my whole world had come apart when I left my church at the age of 28, clinically depressed, tired, broke and deeply wounded. It took me some ten years to fully heal from that traumatic experience: I know failure well, and its wounds. But, as hard as it was, we faced a choice during those years: to live in faith and hope or to settle for bitterness and diminishment. We chose the former and God has used what I felt as a failure as a major part of my spiritual construction, personal development and ministry impact. I could never have known how my failure would be used by God in my life and ministry. In fact, “failure” is one of the most powerful tools God has to mold us.


Ironically, what is failure to us is often a win for God and for our character and future influence. Moses’ early failure became his training ground for success. Joseph probably felt like a failure when he ended up in jail prior to becoming the second in command in Egypt.


Suffering is a prerequisite to deep influence. Failure is just one of the ways that suffering manifests itself. How we respond will determine its positive or negative impact on our life. I came close to throwing in the towel on ministry after my difficult pastorate. How grateful I am today that I walked away from that brink! Today I see that failure as one of the greatest gifts of my life and I will wear its divine scars proudly into eternity.


Between success and failure are periods of life that just are. And sometimes, like David sitting in his palace while his troops were out at war, boredom sets in and our restlessness makes us vulnerable – to temptation, to laziness, to moving away from our intimacy with God. Periods of restlessness, when boredom sets in are actually wonderful opportunities for growth because it usually means that we have more time on our hands. Either we find something productive to do that will build into our future influence or we move into that intellectual and vision decline that so often afflicts individuals in their forties and fifties.


Intellectual laziness and decline is actually one of the most acute issues faced by those in ministry. The world keeps changing and morphing and unless we continue to grow and lead in our sphere of influence we become superfluous just as so many middle and even senior managers in business have become. Thus the vulnerability that comes with allowing ourselves to slip into comfortable rhythms, content with what we already know is a real one. In many ways, laziness and contentment is a shadow side of earlier success and competency.


The Apostle Paul understood this vulnerability and risk and would have nothing of it in his own life. “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). Each of us has a prize – it is the fulfilling of God’s call on our lives and to settle for anything but the fullest expression of that call is to settle for less than God intended for us.

One of the reasons I write books and a regular blog is to continue to stretch myself, to force myself to think clearly, to explore new territory and to ward off boredom whether in a lonely hotel room when travelling or simply the dog days of life when it would be easy to settle into intellectual laziness. Each of us must find outlets for intellectual growth and rest (for me fly fishing) where the soul is nurtured, our hearts stay full and our intellect is challenged.

Ways to Minimize our Liabilities

Leaders who build healthy teams of highly competent individuals use those teams to help alleviate their own liabilities. Many of the issues we face have to do with personnel, relationships and complex problems. Even though I have a strong sense of direction and a great deal of experience in dealing with organizational issues, I know that council from a group of wise individuals is far better than dealing with the issue by myself where my own perspective can easily get in the way of the best solution.


I am convinced that the wisdom of others often prevents our liabilities and our limited perspective from compromising our decisions and responses. When faced with a difficult decision or situation, I never respond without significant dialogue with trusted colleagues whose wisdom and perspective I trust and they have prevented me from making stupid calls in any number of instances. There is simply too much at stake for me to make unilateral decisions in tough spots. And, it is often hard to separate out our own emotions and issues from what is best organizationally.


Bringing in trusted colleagues into tough decisions is also a check against any tendency to lead autocratically or to deal with problematic personnel in unfair or harsh ways. Even as the senior leader of the organization I lead, I have accountability in my leadership and decisions through the involvement of other senior leaders. In fact, I never make any major directional decision without the assent and council of my senior team. Again, this becomes a check against human tendencies to lead out of personal preferences, arrogance, pride or the limited perspective any one of us has by ourselves. It literally can save us from ourselves!


Another hedge against our shadow side getting us into trouble in tough decisions is to resist the temptation to respond quickly. Quick decisions often come out of emotion and emotion is often influenced more by our shadow side than wisdom or our strengths. Difficult decisions and difficult people often stir anxiety in us. The anxiety makes us feel as if we need to do something now, when in reality waiting, thinking and getting counsel is often far wiser. In addition, anxiety often causes us to react emotionally when what is needed is a wise, reasoned, non-emotional response. How many of us have sent an emotional email in the heat of the moment that we wish we had been able to recall?


Emotional responses to people and situations can be a significant opportunity for our shadow side to become a liability. In the heat of emotion we do and say things that are not filtered by wisdom and even if we have reason to be angry we contribute to the problem and lose the high ground of leadership.


Time is our ally in most difficult decisions. It gives us time to pray, to evaluate options, seek counsel and think more clearly. The temptation to act quickly is really a temptation to act out of emotion rather than out of wisdom. Emotion and wisdom are not always compatible in leadership. I have a practice that I will not act before I have agreement with a trusted colleague or colleagues that the time is right and the approach is wise. The knottier the problem, the longer I will usually wait unless there is an overwhelming reason to act quickly.

The wisdom of the Holy Spirit is critical to keeping our dark side from compromising our leadership. One of the reasons that time is an ally in hard decisions is that it gives us time to pray, to think, and to allow the Holy Spirit to give us a divine perspective that transcends human understanding. I am constantly amazed at how solutions come to mind as I think, pray, dialogue with colleagues and allow God the time and opportunity to give me perspective that is critical to doing the right thing and avoiding my own liabilities, human perspective or shadow side.


One of the traps that good leaders fall into is to start to believe that because they have had leadership success that they are always capable of making the right decisions. Our very success can lead to decisions that are unwise because we trust our own leadership instincts and choose not to seek council or take the time for prayer and evaluation. In fact, the more success we have as leaders the more cautious we ought to be not to believe our own press, to remain humble leaders who seek wise council and take the time for prayerful consideration. Success can lead either to greater leadership wisdom or to the dark side of hubris. We choose the path by how we lead.

Spirituality does not compensate for our shadow side

All of us have a shadow side. This is not about whether we are spiritual enough! It is about recognizing the shadow side and dealing with it. The Apostle Paul was a hard driving, type A, highly disciplined individual. Yet when John Mark did not live up to the same standards, Paul and Barnabas, two giants of the New Testament came to such disagreement that they had to separate ways. So strong was the disagreement that Paul abandoned not only John Mark but the very individual who had discipled and encouraged him when no one else would – Barnabas. The shadow side of his discipline and high standards alienated him from a friend who had been a friend when no one else would be a friend.



Can you imagine the pain that Barnabas and John Mark felt when Paul took such a hard line? No amount of spirituality on Paul’s part kept him from deeply hurting two individuals who loved him very much. Perhaps words like arrogance and narcissism and impatience found their way into Barnabas’s mind as he processed his friendship and partnership gone wrong.


The fact that Paul changed his mind about John Mark later in his life and requested his presence when he was in prison indicates to me that Paul had become more self aware and was dealing with the downside of his driven personality. Paul was as deeply a spiritual man as any who ever lived and yet he too had a shadow side to his strengths: liabilities that hurt Barnabas and John Mark because they were not managed well or recognized by him at that time of his life.


There are also people who hide behind a gloss of spirituality to ignore or compensate for their shadow side. These are often Christian leaders who spiritualize everything and have a spiritual explanation for even those times when their own issues have caused problems.


Dan is an organizational leader who is black and white, always right, critical of others and impervious to alternate points of view. He attracts followers who are like the stepford wives, blindly following without thinking critically themselves. Those who disagree with him are marginalized and devalued. But it is always done behind a façade of spirituality that makes it impossible to penetrate. When he is in a group and is the only one to take a certain position he sees himself as a prophet speaking truth to those who are blind (never mind that the Old Testament prophets spoke for God directly). No amount of discussion or dialogue will shift him from his right and “prophetic” point of view.


When his stubbornness (arrogance) causes issues in his organization, it is spiritual warfare that he is up against (now those who disagree are unwitting agents of Satan). His vocabulary is filled with spiritual references (How do you argue against God?) so that rational dialogue is hard or impossible to have and disagreements are always couched in spiritual terms.


Dan has caused huge pain for many people. Those who are smart enough to recognize his methodology stay away from him, leaving him with sycophants who become his blind disciples. What Dan has done is to spiritualize both his strengths and his liabilities in order to justify both in ways that allow him to avoid dealing with his shadow side or admitting that his behaviors often hurt others.


In essence his method for dealing with his shadow side is a spiritual narcissism hidden behind spiritual vocabulary that keeps him from accepting accountability for his shadow side. Because of the spiritual façade, many are afraid to name his conduct for what it is – poor EQ, narcissistic, deeply unhealthy, hurtful to others and frankly emotionally sick. But, Dan feels good because he does not need to face the reality of his own dark side – while in the process hurting others.


Spirituality, real like Paul’s or a façade like Dan’s does not compensate for our shadow side with must be managed carefully if we are to be people of deep influence.

Managing the Shadow Side

I remember as a child playing a game of trying to move fast enough to lose my shadow. It never worked. My shadow followed me no matter what I did. I could jump, dodge and weave and the shadow remained.



We all have a shadow side: it is the side of us that we try to ignore and don’t want to acknowledge. As a result, it often gets us into trouble with others and can severely compromise our influence if not destroy it altogether. Deep influence is, after all gained the hard way as we have already seen. Unfortunately it can easily be compromised or destroyed if we don’t practice the discipline of managing our shadow side. The stronger our strengths – the longer our shadow!

As Christian leaders we have an ideal us that we want to project to others – and believe about ourselves. We believe in spiritual transformation and desperately desire that transformation for our lives. We are often disciplined to a fault in our effort to become all that God wants us to become. But like my childhood game, we will never lose our shadow side until we finally meet Christ face to face. In the meantime, we need to understand ourselves deeply, know where the shadow side lies, manage it carefully and allow the Holy Spirit to deeply sensitive us to facets of our wiring and areas of personal temptation that make up our shadow side.


It is easy to spot the shadow side in others. They are those behaviors that disempower others, cause us frustration or anger and frankly the very things we wish we could talk to them about. Unfortunately for us they are not alone. Our issues may be different but each of us has a shadow side that regularly threatens to lessen our influence and detract from the impact God desires us to have.


Every strength we possess comes with a requisite downside – a liability. When we exercise our strengths we live in our sweet spot – if we are also managing the downside of those strengths.


One of my five signature strengths on Strengthfinders is that I am a “maximizer.” As a maximizer, I want to always maximize ministry opportunity and leave nothing on the table. This means that I will question why we do things the way we do them and always push for the most effective strategy to maximize results with the people, resources and opportunities we have. As an organizational leader, this is a great strength to have and it has had a positive impact on the methodology of our organization.


But there is a downside as well. As a maximizer I can easily become impatient with strategies that do addition rather than multiplication. It is not the impatience that is a bad thing – it can be a very good thing, but when my impatience causes me to be less diplomatic, respond harshly or in some way devalue others who don’t yet “get it,” the strength has gone to its shadow side. I am sure there are those who have viewed me over the years as insensitive and uncaring in situations where I did not adequately manage the shadow side of this otherwise great strength.

Knowing the shadow side of our strengths allows us to manage or compensate in ways that prevent the strength from becoming a liability. I have learned in the case of my maximizer strength to press more gently and dialogue more than preach to help others understand that we can move toward greater effectiveness if we think multiplication rather than addition. I have learned the hard way over the years that process and time are essential ingredients to moving people and organizations in a more effective direction. And, I have learned the necessity of simply being patient in situations where in the past I would have been far less patient.


I have a pastor friend who is the ultimate relationship guy. If he were to take Strengthsfinders, I am sure his number one strength would be “woo” which means he influences others by bringing them into his orbit with the force of his friendly demeanor. He also has a gift for talking – which most highly relational folks do. Everyone in the church loves him because he is so winsome, so encouraging, and everyone feels connected to him. There is no manipulation involved, it is who he is. Much of what he has accomplished as a leader in his church comes back to his winsome, relational style. It is a huge strength and I have watched it for years.


However, this great strength also has its liabilities – its shadow side. He has found over the years that he could “wing it” on many issues and just get by with his relational skill rather than doing his homework on critical issues. That works for a while but not forever, and staff and church leaders often feel that they have been shortchanged by a lack of discipline in decision making because my friend has learned to do it by the seat of his pants rather than through team. He simply uses the force of his personality to convince others that his way is the right way.


And he is hard to disagree with. He is the ultimate debater who can dominate any conversation and meeting – and usually does, leaving others feeling like they cannot win and their opinion is not important. Because he is so likable, he often gets away with it but it is not without cost. The cost is a feeling of being used, not being heard, and a sense of being devalued in the process. His team meetings are not about mutual dialogue but about him expounding. This has led to tension with his team and his board who feel that it is a one man show. At one point of tension, my friend almost lost his church because of the shadow side of his relational strength.

Every strength brings with it a liability, a shadow side that unless recognized, become sensitized to and managed will either compromise the strength, or can even turn the strength into a greater liability than the strength itself. The latter case is the ultimate irony about our strengths. Unchecked, our strengths can become the very means of our loss of influence and effectiveness. It is on those shoals that many brilliant men and woman have lost their influence!

Defining the future of your church

If a congregation is going to be as effective as it could be it is imperative to be clear on four questions: Why do we exist? What are our non negotiables? What do we need to be doing day in and day out to maximize our effectiveness? What do we want the result of our ministry to be? In my book, Leading From The Sandbox, I describe how a church can build a sandbox around these four sides, invite people to play inside that sandbox and in the process bring clarity to who you want to be as a church.

The following are the answers for those four sides from a church I have recently worked with (still in draft form for them). If you have never clarified these four questions for your congregation I would encourage you to think about what your answers would be.  And then to clarify. The lack of clarity in local churches is one of the greatest reasons that we miss out on greater missional effectiveness.

Mission (why we exist)

Grace Church exists to help others love God and love one another as we bring Christ to our world.

Guiding Principles (Our Non negotiables)

Word based and Spirit Empowered


We are committed to the Word of God as being the foundation for all that we believe, how we relate to one another within the church and how we relate and minister to the world around us. Knowing that it is only God’s power through his Spirit that makes it possible for us to live as He wants us to live, we are committed to allowing God’s Spirit to work in our lives and transform us into Christ’s image.


Gospel Centered


We are a gospel centered church changing lives and communities in the power of God’s Spirit. As a Gospel centered church we place Christ at the center of all we do, of whom we want to become and His priorities as reflected in the Scriptures are our priorities. We believe that Christ alone is the hope of the world, that our lives should be radically transformed by His Spirit and that our transformation will have a transformative effect on those around us and the communities in which we live.


Grace Filled


Just as God’s grace is the basis of our salvation, we are called to extend His amazing grace to one another. This includes a willingness to forgive one another, live at peace with one another, care for and love one another and assume the best of one another. We desire the qualities of grace, love and forgiveness to permeate our fellowship. In line with God’s grace we reject all forms of legalism and live with a gracious spirit in those areas were we may differ on life style choices that are not clearly delineated in Scripture.


Embracing All


As a Gospel centered and grace filled fellowship, we will actively love all in our communities including those from all socio economic groups, racial backgrounds and the marginalized, forgotten and oppressed. As a multi-generational church we work to make all welcome and to minister to all the generations that make Grace Bible Church their home. As Jesus welcomed all who came to him so we welcome all who come to us.


Community and World Focused


The Gospel of Christ compels us to actively and intentionally reach out into our communities, circles of influence and to our world with the message of God’s grace. We actively resist the temptation to become comfortable on our church campus to the exclusion of engaging our friends, neighbors and communities with the message of the gospel. We are committed to actively cooperate with Christ in the local and global work of the Great Commission.


Gift Based


We believe that every Christ follower is called to use his or her gifts in an active way – “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).” We are intentional in encouraging every individual within our fellowship to understand how God has wired them and to use their wiring and gifts for the advancement of His cause both inside and outside the church.


Missional and Empowered


Grace Church embraces a missional mindset where ministry decisions are intentionally designed to fulfill God’s purpose for His church: helping people come to faith in Christ and embracing spiritual transformation where we increasingly become the people God designed us to be. We are not content with being “comfortable” but rather, taking the risk to follow Jesus and accomplish everything we can for His purposes. Your leaders are also committed to releasing the congregation into meaningful ministry in line with each individuals wiring and gifting.


Flexible Structures


As a Gospel centered and missional congregation we are ready to be flexible in our ministry structures and paradigms so that we can respond in a timely and effective manner to ministry opportunities God gives us. This includes a willingness to evaluate all ministries for their effectiveness, to ensure that our governance structures always serve our mission and a flexible mindset that is more concerned about ministry effectiveness than how we have done things in the past.

Central Ministry Focus

(What we need to be doing all the time)

Grace Church is a place where all of us are taking the next step of obedience to Christ and using our unique gifting to further God’s transformational agenda for our world.

Our Culture: Spiritual Transformation

 (What we want the result of our ministry to be)

Grace Church desires to be a place where God is actively transforming His people into the image of Christ and where we are actively participating in that transformation through our obedience and followership.


Transformation of our minds where we think like God thinks and His concerns become our concerns


Transformation of our hearts where we become recipients of God’s grace and the agents of His grace to those around us


Transformation of our relationships where we see others as God sees them and love others as God loves us


Transformation of our priorities where we adopt God’s priorities and actively live out those priorities in our daily lives

Interminable Board Meetings

It is why many choose not to serve on boards. It is why many boards cannot make decisions and live in deadlock. It is why one or two board members can hold the board hostage by never allowing a decision to be made. It is why many boards live by “resawing the sawdust” over and over again!


If the business you work for operated like many interminable boards, they would be out of business. It is, in fact, foolishness to allow a board to deliberate, deliberate, deliberate; never having the courage or discipline to simply make a decision and move on – with the agreement that everyone present will support that decision. Ironically, board meetings are often interminable over insignificant issues that should have taken ten minutes to decide and yet take the board into the wee hours of the morning.


It is also no uncommon with undisciplined boards to make a decision and then revisit that decision time and again because a board member does not agree or someone in the congregation disagreed (really?).


If you are suffering from interminable church board meetings I encourage you to adopt a set of principles that will allow your board to live with discipline and allow it to move along. The ministry of the church will not move any faster than the board can do its business – scary thought.


1. Use an agenda and put the most important issues on the agenda first.


2. Live within your time parameters.


3. After discussion take a vote and move on.


4. Through a board covenant ensure that all board members will support the decision made.


5. Have a written document that describes how your board does its business and abide by it.


6. Except in unusual cases, don’t revisit decisions made.


7. Never allow any board member to hold the board hostage by refusing to make a decision.


8. Delegate all those decisions that do not rise to the level of board discussion – many issues do not.


9. Empower your board chair to lead the meeting so that it moves through the agenda.


10. Get up and go home if the board goes over its allocated time – even if others choose to stay and resaw sawdust. You don’t need to.

Restlessness

Twice in the past week I have had conversations with ministry leaders, one in their forties and one in their fifties who expressed a deep restlessness and significant boredom. Both are in good and secure ministries but knowing that their time is probably up for what they are currently doing.

Restlessness should not be ignored. It is a sign that some kind of transition is needed and it is often planted in our hearts by God so that we don't simply stay in our comfort zone but rather on the cutting edge of where He wants us to be. Those who ignore the restlessness often end up settling for the easy route in their latter years but not the route that would have yielded the most ministry impact.

Restlessnes does not necessarily mean it is time to leave (although it could) but it does meant that unless there is significant reformulation of what one is doing, the satisfaction and joy of work will be noticibly lesser than it should and could be. It is often a sign that we are not operating at our fullest capacity and that God wired us for more than we are currently doing.

Restlessness is a time to pray and explore new options for our ministries. It is also a time to find avenues of growth (boredome often means extra time on our hands) where we can grow and develop where we are as we wait for our next assignment. It is really a gift from God to get our attention that He has something more and better for us at this time of our lives and in the meantime, personal growth can prepare us for what comes next.

If you are restless, don't ignore it. Maybe it is just a stage of life. More likely, it is a divine nudge to either reformulate what you are doing or to consider a move where you can better play to all the strengths God gave you.

Do it alone or do it together

I am always fascinated by the tendency of local churches to get involved with ministry internationally by themselves rather than partnering with others. Take Haiti for example: Thousands of churches in the United States have projects in Haiti that are isolated from what anyone else is doing. Even in the face of the earthquake, each one does its thing rather than partnering with others where the synergies of partnership would far outweigh the benefits of doing it alone.

Perhaps it is the American spirit of independence or the need to control and count something as ours. In the end, while good work is often done, better work could have been done if there was cooperation and partnership with others who were committed to like minded projects.  Even within denominations, churches work in places like Haiti oblivious to what their fellow churches are doing or even the mission arm of the denomination. One has to ask the question of why?

Doing it together with others has some amazing payoffs for ministry results. First, we learn from others. We pay an amazing amount of "dumb tax" when we go it alone and have to learn the hard way lessons that have been learned countless times before by others that we could have avoided if we worked together rather than alone. Countless times I have heard from local churches the of the expensive and painful mistakes that were made and how hard it was to extricate themselves from them - particularly dependencies that they created because they didn't have a better model. I for one don't want to pay "dumb tax" that I don't need to pay. I want to learn from whoever I can learn from, find best practices and avoid unnecessary complications.

Doing it together provides a critical mass of energy, people, resources and ideas that can dramatically increase the ministry punch and effectiveness over doing it alone. For instance, many churches adopt a sister church in another country. What would happen if rather than simply trying to impact one church in that community we found partners who would work with us to partner with all the evangelical churches in that community and move from making a small difference to making a big difference? 

Doing it together provides for long term sustainability because it is no longer dependent just on my church but on a group of churches. When we do it alone we actually put the ministry we work with at risk because if the vision, personnel or budget of the church shifts there is a cost to those we partner with.

The New Testament gives us a great example of doing it together rather than doing it alone. When money was raised for the needy in Jerusalem it was the churches together who cooperated and did what could never have been done by just one church.

I am convinced that our desire for autonomy, for counting something as ours is an anti value to God and His work. It is better than doing nothing but it is far from the ideal and it leaves an amazing amount of ministry opportunity on the table. I may not work to cooperate and partner with everyone but that is no excuse to not partner with some. The cost to us is seeing our work as "ours together" rather than "mine alone." This is true for churches and mission organizations and even our national partners who tend to guard their turf as diligently as we guard ours.

This is why in our organization, ReachGlobal we proclaim loudly that we don't own anything, control anything or count anything as ours. It is God's not ours. We are also partnership driven whether with multiple partners in the US or overseas - including partners that are not from our parent denomination and other mission agencies. God did not die for the EFCA, He died for His bride - the church. In that spirit we are also not intent on multiplying EFC churches globally but healthy, interdependent, self supporting, indigenous and reproducing churches no matter what the name over the door.

Doing it alone may satisfy our ego needs but it is not what most satisfies the heart of God for His people to work in concert to build His church. And it leaves tremendous opportunity on the table that could have been claimed for Him. I for one, pray for a new spirit of cooperation among God's people to build His church and to do so in partnership with like minded partners, domestic and international.

Integrity in Preaching

I received an interesting inquiry from an individual today who has just discovered that his pastor is using other people's messages (the Internet is a great revealer) without attribution. He wondered what he should do.

I believe that there are two key issues at stake here, the first being integrity. All of us know that using someone else's content without giving them credit for it is plagiarism. In academia, plagiarism can be cause for firing. In politics it can be cause for losing elections or ones job. Everyone recognizes that there is an ethical lapse when plagiarism occurs, it is a violation of the command, "You shall not steal."

It ought to bother us a lot when pastors use other peoples content without disclosing where it came from. It ought to bother us if pastors use illustrations that they indicate are their own when in fact they are not. It does not matter that pastors post their messages on the web for others to use. If one is going to use other people's content, integrity insists that the source of that content is acknowledged. A best practice is to footnote sermon notes with attribution where it is deserved.

I believe there is another issue and that is that pastor/teachers preach to a unique audience - their congregation and to simply use the content of others violates their obligation to speak to their people about issues that their people face. Paul did not write the same letters to the Ephesians, Romans, Thessalonians or Philippians. He wrote unique letters that addressed their unique situations and spoke to their situations from God's perspective. That is what good shepherds do.

To use other people's content in our preaching is plain laziness. We are influenced by others writing and our own research as we plan a text but ultimately we must speak to the audience God has given us and apply His word to the unique situations they face.

To those who regularly use others content I would ask this question. Do your leaders know and approve or would they find it problematic if they found out. To be above board one is truthful with leaders as to where one's content comes from and truthful to the congregation through proper attribution.

It is a matter of integrity. My advice to the one who wrote me would be to share his concern with his pastor and if there is still not acknowledgement as to the source of his preaching to speak to the board.

If there is not integrity in our preaching of God's truth which is a paradigm of integrity, we are in deep trouble.

Tragedy and Eternal Hope

The news from Haiti continues to get worse with estimates this morning that the death toll will rise above 200,000 and lawlessness in the streets is on the increase. A country that hangs by a thread on a good day is challenged beyond belief in the wake of the horrific earthquake.

Along with the various aid groups, governments and United Nations bringing initial aid are hundreds of Christian organizations. If history is any predictor, after the initial aid is delivered the governmental organizations will fade into the background and it will be faith based organizations who will be in Haiti for years to come rebuilding lives and homes and ministries. This was true in Asia in the wake of the Tsunami and is still true in New Orleans and Texas in the wake of Katrina and Ike.

I believe the generosity of the church will exceed even the great outpouring in the wake of the Asian Tsunami. Tens of thousands of volunteers will step forward in short term teams. And, like the aftermath of Tsunami, Katrina and Ike, many lives will be changed forever as they experience the love of God's people. In fact, in the wake of the earthquake, Haiti, a country in desperate need of spiritual awakening may have the greatest opportunity in its history to turn to the only source of eternal hope - Jesus Christ.

It is in times of tragedy that the church is at its best and the opportunity for evangelism at its highest. The compassion of God's people in times of great suffering is a model of the incarnation of Jesus who came to a world without hope, entered into our situation and brought eternal hope.

We ought to be praying that out of this horrific event, many would find eternal hope as they encounter the love of God's people who become His hands, feet, words, compassion and help. Human tragedy always becomes a divine opportunity and I know that the church will rise to the occasion in an amazing way. Governments can bring food and water. God's people will be bringing living water for years to come.

Seasons

Can you imagine a world without seasons? Without days, weeks, months, years, decades? Or the turning of the seasons annually: winter, spring, summer, fall?

While we don't often think about it, God designed our world and our lives to have a rhythm. Into each week He built a day of rest so that we would weekly take time to refresh and reflect on Him. The months provide signposts of the year, and each new month brings with it a new sense of anticipation. Even those who don't know God celebrate the closing out of one year and the start of another. Why? Because there is a deep desire to see something new happen, to close one chapter and anticipate a new and better chapters. That is why the urban centers of the world will be full of revelers tonight.

As I look back over the past year I can see the fingerprint of God all over it - even in the dark days like those spent in the ICU on a ventilator in Thailand far from home. I can see faith that is stronger, work for him that is accomplished, the blessing of his hand on my life.

As I look forward to the new year I think of new opportunities to grow, serve, stretch, learn, lean into Him, ministry to be accomplished and blessings of His that will come that I have no knowledge of today. As Jeremiah so aptly said, His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness. Each new year is like a present to be unwrapped three hundred sixty five times to see what God has for us. That is an amazing thought. Every day in 2010 we will wake up to new mercies and His great faithfulness. Each day, we will experience His grace and love and provision. Each day we will experience His goodness if we are attentive.

I love the change of seasons and the turning of the calendar because each time I can anticipate unknown gifts and blessings from my Father whose treasure store in heaven will never be exhausted. Whatever life brings, His provision outweighs it all. Great is His Faithfulness in 2009 and 2010.

Missions and the Incarnation

The word incarnation is a beautiful word because it describes a God who stepped out of eternity into time and history, out of the freedom of existing as a spirit into the frailty of bones and flesh, out of the realm of creator to become one of those He created. The one who had formed the universe, fashioned our planet, set in motion humanity comes to enter our world, our lives, our temptations, our struggles and our existence.

In doing so, He brought God to us in a way never before imagined and in the most personal way possible. Incarnation is about God with us because God has entered into our lives by becoming one of us. That is why one of the names for God is Emmanuel – God with us!

Perhaps of all callings on this planet, that of a missionary is most like what God did through the incarnation. As Jesus became God among us by living with us, so we take on the same role by going to others and living among them, taking on their culture, their language, sharing their lives as Emmanuel to them.

Missionaries give up the privileges and comforts of their home culture to share in the story of incarnation by taking on the lives of others so that they too can know the one who brought grace and truth. Those who send them, like the Father sent Jesus, pay a price to make the story of incarnation an ongoing story.

The name Emmanuel has always been one of my favorite names for God. It is a name I can relate to – God with us – God with me, God among us. What a beautiful and deeply hopeful name. It is in the spirit of that name that every missionary goes to a place that is not their home to make a home so that those who have no spiritual home can find a home. It is being Emmanuel to those who don’t yet know that there is a God who can live with them and among them. As Jesus said, “As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world” (John 17:18).Each one who goes and to each one who sends participates in the ongoing miracle of the incarnation.

Incarnation and Reconciliation

Peace is one of the most elusive of humanities desires. As we celebrate Christmas in the United States refugees have fled to the forests in Congo to escape rogue armies, wars are being fought in the Middle East, Christians are being harassed in many countries and terrorists plot their next moves.

It has always been so since our forefathers left the garden. And into a world of conflict the Savior came to be our peace (Ephesians 2:14) and reconcile us to God. And, to reconcile us to one another (Galatians 3:26-29). The words and message of reconciliation and peace blanket the New Testament.

Think about this. Jesus became man and died so that we could be reconciled to God. And then He called us to be reconciled to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ and to live at peace to the greatest extent of our ability with all people.

If Jesus cared so deeply about reconciliation, we should as well - starting in our families where estrangement is so common, our churches where unity is often compromised, among fellow believers where we are too quick to live with critical spirits and in a society that loves to divide rather than unite.

And God did not wait until we asked for reconciliation. He took the first step. He came to us when we were not looking for Him. He humbled himself (Philippians 2:1-11) rather than waiting for us to humble ourselves.

It raises some questions worth considering:

Is there someone I am estranged from that I can attempt to be reconciled to?

If there is, am I, like Jesus willing to humble myself and take the first step even if I am the aggrieved?

Are there ways that I can help bring reconciliation between others who are estranged?

How can I help bring reconciliation between races and people groups who live with estrangement?

Reconciliation is a deeply Christian value rooted deeply in the incarnation where the God of Scripture did what no other God of any religion had ever done: Became a creature so that the creatures could be reconciled to the eternal. Every time I pray for reconciliation, attempt reconciliation, humble myself to bring reconciliation I mirror the character of Jesus. The mark of a believer is that he/she has been reconciled to God in Jesus and in turn brings reconciliation between peoples who are in conflict.