When should a church change their governance system?

Tomorrow afternoon I do another consult with a church leadership team on significantly modifying their governance system. I have at least one conversation with church leaders every week over the frustration governance systems that are out of sync with the current size and needs of the church. So what are the classic signs that it is time to look at how you do governance? 

1. There is frustration by staff on how long it takes to make ministry decisions or changes. Here is the funny thing. Many  board members do not realize how frustrated their staff are on the decision making process. After all, they check in for a board meeting once or twice a week while staff are chomping at the bit to move things forward. Several weeks ago in a dialogue with a board one of the board members gave me the classic line, "Our system works great." I looked over at the senior pastor and asked, "Do you see it that way?" He shook his head NO!

When decisions cannot be made in a timely fashion by the right people it is time to rethink your leadership/governance system.


2. There is confusion about who is responsible for what. This is a common problem as churches grow. Is this a staff responsibility or board responsibility? Where there is confusion there is also room for conflict and misunderstandings. How often do staff make decisions only to be second guessed by a board member who was not in on the decision? That means that the decision has to be rehashed after the fact because there was not clarity up front on who had the authority to make it.


Confusion over who is responsible for what creates conflict and misunderstanding and it is a sign you need to rethink your governance.


3. You have long interminable board meetings. One board I spoke with recently, told me that they had two board meetings a month that went from seven PM to midnight or after. I would have been stunned except it is all too common. No church board should have to meet for more than two hours twice a month on a regular basis!


Long board meetings are a sure sign of a broken decision making system.


4. Permission must be obtained from multiple groups before a decision can be made. Any time a leadership board has to get permission, funding or assent from another committee or board in the church, you are operating on a redundant system that has toll booths built into the decision making process. It is a waste of time, talent and energy.


Toll booths rather than easy pass is a sign you need to revisit your governance.


5. The board has a hard time making decisions. How many boards revisit the same issues over and over again either because they didn't make a clear decision or because they didn't make any decision. It is no wonder that good leaders often decline to serve on the board. 


Revisiting previously made decisions over and over is a sign of a broken governance system.


6. The board does management rather than providing leadership. How many times do we need to say that staff manage the ministry while boards set the overall parameters of the ministry. Yet most boards spend most of their time dealing with management minutia that someone else could be doing. In doing so, they have abdicated their more important leadership role of ensuring that the church is maximizing its ministry impact.


Management by committee (board) is a sure sign of a dysfunctional governance system.


If any of these six markers characterize your board, pay attention and consider re evaluating your governance and leadership systems.

Signs you work in a toxic workplace

Too many people work in toxic environments that destroy their joy, kill their creativity and cause great anxiety. Unfortunately this also happens in the ministry marketplace. Toxic workplaces rob us of the satisfaction that God intends for us to experience in our work. Staying too long in such an environment can bring with it depression, cynicism, a mistrust of others and “coping behaviors” that are unhealthy. If the following descriptors are true of your workplace you ought to consider whether it is time to leave.

Lack of respect from your supervisor or leadership. Respect means that you are valued, that your opinions are taken seriously, that you are not taken for granted and that you are acknowledged for your contribution. Lack of respect eats away at our sense of self-worth and that you are not valued for your work. Lack of respect is often a sign of arrogance or even narcissism in a leader who needs to devalue others in order to add value to themselves.  

Abusive behavior. I just spoke to an individual who has been the target of profane laced diatribes by a well known Christian leader whose conversations to those outside his organization are spiritual and uplifting! His words to his own employees are often demeaning, caustic, often angry and certainly don’t fit the definition of uplifting and encouraging. Abusive behavior whether with words or actions create uncertainty, anxiety and loss of respect.

Unpredictability. A hallmark of stable work environments is an element of predictability in leaders. You understand what their values are, what you can expect from them, where the organization is going and what is expected of you. Leaders who are unpredictable and whose behaviors or values or direction is subject to regular change create anxiety in their staff. That unpredictability is not just a “behavior quirk,” but often a symptom of an unhealthy leader. His or her unpredictability creates instability among staff and that instability is destructive to a healthy workplace.

Leading by fiat. This is the leader who rather than building a shared leadership culture and team simply tells people what to do, how to do it and expect others to jump at their command. They don’t respect boundaries, time, and opinions of others and treat employees as their servants. One thing they rarely keep are the best employees who refuse to be treated like chattel and who want a voice in the work they are doing. This environment leads to high turnover as the best choose to leave if indeed they come in the first place.

Cultures of fear. Unhealthy leaders often create a culture of fear where staff feel that they need to walk on eggshells, cannot be honest with their views and live with constant anxiety that they will not live up to their leader’s expectations. Ongoing or regular fear on the part of staff is a sign of a toxic environment which usually goes back to the leader. Another way of saying this is that where there is constant “drama” there is something toxic taking place.

Narcissistic leaders. The theme here is that it is all about the leader. They take the credit when things go well and blame others when things go south. They are always right and as long as you agree with them you are on the inside. Once you choose to disagree you are marginalized, demonized and placed on the outside. With a narcissistic leader you are either good or bad and that is determined by whether you agree with or challenge them. Narcissistic leaders create paranoid workplaces.

Lack of trust. Where there are significant trust issues in an organization, it is usually a symptom of deep leadership issues. Mistrust indicates that there is not a true team, that collaborative leadership is not possible and is usually a symptom of leaders who are unhealthy. Healthy leaders create trusting cultures and model what trust looks like in their relationships, behaviors and conversation. Lack of trust is deeply toxic and has the affect of creating deeper mistrust.

Bottom line? If you work in a toxic workplace you often don’t even realize how much anxiety you live with or how unhealthy your environment is until you choose to leave and all of a sudden realize that you feel free and are no longer carrying the heavy burdens you have been living with. If your workplace is characterized by any of the seven descriptors listed above, you ought to seriously consider leaving. Life is short and God wants us to use our gifting in positive, meaningful ways that bring joy and satisfaction rather than fear and anxiety. Choose to be courageous and find a healthy workplace.

TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."

De escalating Conflict

Conflicts are easy to get into and harder to get out of. Often they result from a misunderstanding between parties where there is either poor communication or the message is misunderstood. However it happens, when conflict occurs we have three choices: escalate the conflict, allow it to simmer or seek to de escalate.

Usually conflict escalates when we respond out of emotion. All of us have done this. Think about conflict you have had with your spouse and how easy it is to take a shot back when something was said we didn't like and the conflict escalates. Often, it was not even the intention of the other party to create conflict but in our misreading of their intent we responded out of emotion and actually created the conflict. The use of Email has created many misunderstandings because messages are cryptic, dialogue is difficult and one does not hear the tone behind the message.


Here are some ways to de escalate conflict.
First, wait to respond until you have processed your emotion so that you are not responding out of emotion. Remind yourself that what you "heard" may not be what was "intended." If the message from the other came out of their emotion or anxiety, responding with you emotion or anxiety will only escalate the issue. You want your response to be matter of fact, conciliatory and without emotion or anxiety and that often takes some time to process. Until our emotion and anxiety levels are low, our response is likely to escalate rather than de escalate.

Second, rather than assuming the intending message was meant the way it came across, personally (in person, by phone or Internet) clarify the intended message. Questions like, "This is how your message came across to me. Is that what you intended?" can help clarify and will often create the very dialogue needed to come to understanding. 


Third, if there is a significant difference in thinking, work to "normalize" the relationship by acknowledging the difference but keeping the door open for dialogue and not allowing the conflict to destroy the relationship. Once relationships go south it is much harder to resolve the conflict because one then has to solve the relational issue before one can tackle the issue that created the conflict. When we can separate the conflict from the relationship there is a much better chance of resolution.


Fourth, don't allow others to hook you into emotional responses. They may remain emotional but you want to remain as calm and collected as possible. When emotions, anger and anxiety drive the process all kinds of collateral damage takes place. Even if you feel the emotion internally, try not to allow it to express itself in your body language or words.

De escalating  conflict is an art and those who work at it find that they avoid all kinds of unpleasantness, become peacemakers, broker understanding and create healthy workplaces, homes and relationships.

Uncivil discourse and professional heresy hunters

The level of discourse in the public arena, whether in Washington or Madison or town hall meetings has become distressingly low. Talking heads on television do nothing to raise either good discourse, or civility either.

I expect this in the public arena but am distressed by the same lack of gracious discourse in the Christian arena. Take for instance, the many websites and numerous heresy charges against Rick Warren. It is not infrequent that another long missive appears in my in box with new charges of false teaching or character assassination by proxy since he is friends with people who don't have impeccable theology by the standards of the writer. The level of invective and anger is high while the biblical evidence of the charges is beyond low. These folks specialize in taking quotes out of context and calling foul when a careful reading would indicate that the charge has nothing to do with reality. Even if the charges were true (which I don't for a moment believe) the way the message is delivered is "behavioral heresy" as it does not reflect the gracious attitudes of believers. Jesus was full of grace and truth. 

I once was in a meeting where the litmus test was whether I endorsed The Purpose Driven Church (If I did I was in the heretical and suspect camp). I looked at the individual who asked the question and said, "few churches have had the impact that Saddleback has had and the key is that they have a purpose and stick to their purpose. How does your church compare?" That of course was the irony of the question. These are people who like to divide people into groups: those that are right and those that are wrong. They define the rules, see no room for a different way of looking at the issue and are uncivil in their discussions.


Even where robust dialogue must take place (Rob Bell), there is no need to engage in character assassination. It is possible to explore the issues from a biblical perspective while preserving the dignity of the author. I love reading N.T. Wright, for instance and would not agree with all of his conclusions but would never attack his character because I disagree. 


It would be sad to get to heaven and realize that we had split theological hairs so closely that we had done harm to God's people and God's kingdom. There are clearly heretical positions and snake salesmen (think late night TV) peddling themselves. But, there are also many professional critics looking for demons behind many good people and ministries. These are the very endless arguments that Paul warns Timothy to avoid in his letters to him.

My radar goes up when I hear from black and white folks for whom there is no theological gray, who are quick to judge others (see my blog on self righteous), who join groups who look for "false teaching" and seem to find it even among mainstream leaders and whose attitudes do not reflect the graciousness of Christ. 

If the mark of a believer is love, all of our discourse must be marked by civility and love. And we ought to be very careful before we throw stones at fellow believers or their beliefs. Orthodoxy is a wide tent and much of the stone throwing has  nothing to do with orthodoxy but rather with personal preferences or a narrow reading of theology.   

The Dangers of Self-Righteousness

OK, all of us have been guilty of self-righteousness at one time or another – and it is a poison that we need to avoid at all costs. It is an attitude that I am better than you, my sin is less egregious than your sin, my way is better than your way, accompanied by a smugness of personal righteousness because of it.

Why is it so dangerous? First because it is based on a subjective standard (ours) which allows us to categorize our righteousness as higher than another’s and our sin as less egregious than another’s sin. Because it is a self determined subjective standard, it is also hypocrisy at its shining best. We, not God have declared ourselves to be more righteous than someone else and we can always find someone who makes us look good by their lifestyle or behavior.

Second, it is nothing less than pure pride and self exaltation as I am able in my self-righteousness to elevate myself, my spirituality, my conduct above that of others. This attitude is 180 degrees different than the attitude of humility that Jesus teaches. It is candidly the attitude of the Pharisees, smug in their righteousness, rather than that of the tax collectors, sinners and prostitutes who knew their need for God. Jesus condemned the former and embraced the latter.

Third, it is dangerous because it blinds us to our own sin. When I focus on the sin of another, I don’t pay attention to my own sin. Not one of us is holy because of our lifestyle but only through the grace God has bestowed. Not one of us is more worthy of God than another. My sin may be different from your sin and it may be less or more obvious than your sin but we are all sinners to the core, all needing the amazing grace of Jesus and all coming to the same place of equality of sin and grace at the foot of the cross. Anything that takes my eyes off of my own sin and need of God’s grace is dangerous and self deceiving.

Fourth, it keeps me from growing. When I have focused on the faults of others rather than on the faults of my own life, I stunt my own growth. In my attitude of self-righteousness I am far less likely to push into the evil resident in my own lower nature and pay attention to my own issues.

Finally it builds walls either directly or indirectly.  It builds walls directly, when I put down others for their faults when I should be focused on my own rather than theirs. It builds walls indirectly even if I say nothing because the attitude of my heart will be conveyed by my treatment of others, my body language, the subtleties of my communication or the lack of engagement because of my own self-righteous arrogance.

There is nothing pleasing to God about self-righteousness. In fact, this is how Jesus saw the self righteous. “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men – robbers, evildoers, adulterers – or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up at heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God have mercy on me, a sinner. I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted (Luke 18:9-14).”

We need to guard against self-righteousness. We also need to remember that whole groups, congregations, theological movements, seminaries and denominations can bear the marks of self righteousness in their attitudes toward others. None of it smells good to God and all of it is arrogant, prideful, sinful, and self-delusional.

Hoarding

It is an amazing TV program – Hoarding – about individuals whose homes turn into massive junk piles of hoarded stuff, new (shopping issues), old (garbage) and interesting collections totally out of control. It often takes trucks to clean the pile out.

My purpose is not to criticize those who suffer from this condition as there are usually underlying psychological and neurological issues at play. Rather it occurred to me as I watched that the same thing easily happens in our own lives – hidden inside – just like the homes of hoarders look pretty normal from the outside.

It is the accumulation of stuff in our lives that start to distract us from our calling and a healthy life. It can be the accumulation of the expectations of others, out of control schedules, and distractions that keep us from time with God and living out our calling. It can be relational disconnects, attitudes, sinful tendencies, addictions or simply issues that we know we should address but have not. Over time, the accumulation of this stuff in our lives becomes a burden, a distraction, and we long for the simplicity of a life without the junk – good junk and bad junk that we ought to shed. The truth is that like hoarders, we often do not even realize that we are accumulating stuff in our lives that is unhealthy – it just creeps up on us.

How do we clean out the rooms of our lives and shed that is distracting? Periodically, we ought to ask ourselves some reflective questions:

• Is there anything in my life that the Holy Spirit has been talking to me about?

• Are there any relationships that are broken where I could seek reconciliation?

• Do I have anyone that I need to forgive?

• Are there things in my schedule that are good but that distract me from the best?

• Are there some key commitments I need to make that I currently don’t have time for?

• How am I doing with spending time with God?

• Is my relationship with my spouse and children healthy, vibrant and growing?

• What one thing could I change today that would make a major difference in my life?

Dealing with the accumulated stuff in our personal lives can be a liberating and deeply freeing experience. Living with the stuff we hang on to but that we don’t need or don’t want keeps us from being everything we want to be.

Humble Church

When you think of your church would you characterize it as humble or prideful? Congregations, like people can live with either pride or humility.


Take a congregation that has been highly successful in its day but is now struggling. They desperately need to change the way they do leadership, they need new organizational structures and they need to trade out a tired staff who are locked into paradigms that are twenty years old. Yet, leaders cannot make the radical shifts necessary or admit that there is a need for change. The reason? Pride! It means accepting the fact that they are in trouble, accepting the fact that they are not who they once were, accepting the fact that they actually need help. Accepting the fact that they cannot rest on their past success but must radically reinvent the future.


This raises an important issue. Ministry success for a church often brings with it a level of pride that hinders the future effectiveness of the church. Pride is by nature a self-sufficient attitude along with the belief that we have ministry figured out and we are good at it. That pride takes our eyes off of Christ, focuses it on us, prevents us from seeing what we need to see and prevents us from learning from others. It may "work" for a season but it will "hurt" in the end.

In my experience, churches like the ones I have described above don't get their act together until they have been humbled and realize that they need help. Some never do and simply fade into an obscure future, living on the shadows of the past, believing all is well.

Humble congregations are forged by humble leaders (both lay and professional) who know they are dependent on God for any lasting spiritual fruit, are learners by nature and live with the awareness that they never have it all together. They are always willing to learn from others and guard their hearts against the pride that will sabotage their success.

Is your church a humble church or proud church?