Dealing with organizational elephants

Elephants are interesting things. They are big! They are obvious! They are loud. Everyone knows when they are around. Which is why "elephants in the room" issues that are big, obvious and loud are so tragically ignored by a staff or a board. Everyone knows they are around but everyone pretends they are not there. And no one is ever fooled!

Here are some real life elephants that I am aware of right now in various places:

A staff member in a church obviously does not fit and is dragging the rest of the staff down but no one talks about it or does anything about it.


• A board member creates regular conflict on the board to the consternation of others but no one is willing to address it.


• A pastor has systematically alienated a long series of individuals but the board will not talk about it.


• A team leader never wants to hear anything critical of his leadership so everyone tip toes around sensitive issues but everyone knows the score.


• A member of a congregation leaves relational havoc in their wake but because of their influence, no one will address the issue.

The thing about elephants in the room is that they are obvious but remain unnamed, unresolved, even unspoken. It is frankly one of the sins of humanity that we allow known problems to exist without seeking to resolve them. And that starts with an acknowledgement that they are there.

OK, there is a reason that elephants remain unnamed. The main reason is that there is not permission in the group to engage in real, honest dialogue. The unspoken rule is, "don't go there" or "if you go there the rest of us will be silent" which leaves any brave soul hanging out in the cold - very alone.
There is one description for such a situation: cowardice! And it happens all the time in many situations. And, it is wrong.

There is a very important descriptor of Jesus given by the Apostle John in John 1:14. It says that Jesus came full of grace and truth.

As one reads the gospels it is evident that Jesus was always willing to put his finger on the truth, but he did it with grace. The woman at the well was an adulterer and Jesus got at that truth but He did it with grace. Jesus did not shirk the truth - indeed He spoke it always - but he treated people with grace.

This is the example that needs to guide us when we name the elephants in the room which good and courageous people do. Once it is named it is no longer an elephant - it is now an issue to be discussed and resolved. Done only with truth it can be harsh. Done only with grace it probably won't happen but done with grace and truth it can be powerful.

I have resolved that I will not live with elephants in the room because life is too short and I am not willing to compromise opportunity and effectiveness for the sake of sweeping issues under the rug. If I cannot name the elephants where they exist or if those on my team cannot do the same, I am in the wrong place or on the wrong board. 

 I have actually left teams and boards where that was not possible. But I have also resolved to deal with them with equal measures of grace and truth. Truth to name the issue and grace to seek to resolve the issue. If I cannot address the issue with both grace and truth I wait until my heart is right so that I can.

I was once in a contentious meeting where individuals said their were many elephants in the room. I asked them to name them, and they did. Here is the interesting thing. Once expressed, they were no longer elephants but issues to be discussed and resolved to the best of our ability.

None of us do this perfectly but I have tried very hard to adopt an attitude of "Nothing to prove, nothing to lose" and in that spirit encourage all of my staff to dialogue openly with any issue that is on their heart - as long as it is done with grace and without a hidden agenda. 

All leaders struggle with the risk of doing that. I do. But it is a great blessing to be free of the need to be right, or perfect, or have all the answers, or to pretend that the elephants are not there. Sometimes they are and I want to be courageous to hear them and when necessary to name them. Do we have that courage?

With grace and with truth.

Six questions ministry leaders ought to ask regularly

Periodically it is helpful to ask the question: What can I do raise the bar in my effectiveness?

It is incremental gains in our effectiveness which make a big difference over time. These do not need to be large changes but all of us ought to be making changes on a regular basis. Consider these questions:

What do I need to focus on more closely to drive our mission forward?

Circumstances, needs and opportunities change over time. It is a mistake to simply think that if I do the same things that I always did that I will be maximizing my impact. In fact, not asking this question is what causes us to "get into a rut" rather than staying fresh.

What am I doing that I should give up?

We ought to be able and willing to give something up to others. You cannot take on new responsibilities or refocus your priorities without making room by giving something else up. Not doing this becomes a trap that leads to burnout and over-commitment  You give up what others can do and what you do not have to do, whether to volunteers or other staff.

How can I organize my time for greater effectiveness?

Time is the most precious commodity we have and is the one thing we can never get back. Almost all of us can make modifications for how we organize our time which would allow us to accomplish more without working more. Consider looking through your schedule and seeing where you are actually spending your time. Does it reflect the priorities you want it to? What changes would help you be more effective?

How can I work smarter, not longer?

Most of us in ministry already work too long. The question is how can we work smarter, accomplish more but not work longer? Often if we would take a few hours to think about what we do and how we do it we would realize that there are alternative ways to get certain things done that would free up time for more important priorities.

What am I going to do to stay sharp?

Intentional growth is a non-negotiable for those who want the get the advantage and stay sharp. Do you know where you need to develop and do you have a plan for that development? None of us are exempt from that need.

Are there specific challenges I believe my ministry is going to face that I need to be aware of?

Every ministry has specific challenges that it is likely to face. Thinking ahead about the challenges you are likely to face allows you to consider how you will potentially respond to those challenges.

Facing down the giants in the church

I often think of the account in the Old Testament where Moses sent twelve spies into the land that would one day become their home. The vast majority of the spies came back and reported to the nation that "there are giants in the land" and that it would be impossible for them to prevail. Only two, Caleb and Joshua called on the nation to move forward, confident that God would help them overcome the giants (Numbers 13).

Church leaders face giants regularly which keep them from leading their congregations into greater health, more meaningful ministry and community impact. As I have consulted with numerous churches and leaders four of those giants stand out.

The giant of fear.

It is the fear of failure: we cannot do that! It is the fear that someone will object: they will! It is the fear that the money won't be there: not everything depends on money and there is more than most people believe! It is the fear of uncharged territory: uncharted territory requires courage!

It is interesting to me that the number one command in Scripture is "fear not." The reason for this is that fear is the killer of faith and faith is the currency of God's kingdom: "Without faith it is impossible to please God." The evil one is a purveyor of fear while God is a purveyor of faith. After all, we don't enter into any ministry endeavor on our strength but on the strength and power of God.

Jesus did not just give us the Great Commission but he reminded us that "He is with us always, even to the end of the age." Fearful leaders are no different from the ten spies who declared that to go in is to embark on a suicide mission. Fear is a giant, but not to God.

The giant of comfort.

Anytime leaders lead courageously they are taking themselves and their people out of their comfort zone. It is human nature to want to stay in ones comfort zone where life is predictable, where we are safe and feel that we can control outcomes and where our status quo is not messed with.

This is precisely why we have the saying, "Don't rock the boat." We like stability and comfort which is precisely why the church makes so little difference to its community or the world. Leaders are not immune to that comfort and followers generally love that comfort.

The job of leaders is not to keep people comfortable but to help them be all that they can be under Christ to fulfill the mission He left the church. Whenever we are comfortable we are in a danger zone and the longer we remain comfortable with what is the harder it will be to move out of that comfort zone into what should and could be.

The giant of change

How often do church leaders hear from someone in the congregation, "we've never done it that way!" How often do church leaders say the same thing when considering ministry initiatives. There is no forward movement in any organization without change but people are naturally change resistant, including many leaders.

We do not look at change for change sake. We look at change so that we can remain effective in a changing culture. The gospel does not change but strategies for reaching people does. This is not about chasing the latest ministry fad. It is about ensuring that our ministries are as effective as they can be so that we can fulfill the mission of the church.

Show me a church that has not changed much in the past decade and I will show you a church whose ministry is on a downward slope, its leaders still clinging to the past and its people comfortable in their familiar but unproductive territory.

The giant of conflict

Conflict is not all bad! In fact, I saw a book recently titled, "Every Congregation needs a little Conflict" and I agree with the title (not having read the book). Conflict makes people think and consider and evaluate.

There is always some kind of conflict when leaders face down the giants of fear, comfort and change because most people find change hard and some find it sinful, unnecessary and wrong. These are the "laggards" on the change scale, they hate change. We call them the "squeaky wheels" in the church who will squeak whenever change is suggested.

Even in the best congregation, conflict of some kind will happen with major ministry initiatives. It is normal, it is expected and it is inevitable. Real leaders listen, process people and lead with sensitivity but they are not cowed by the loud voices who make their opinions known - often in unhealthy ways.

Courageous, wise and missional leaders are hard to find. But that is what is needed in the church. Good leaders know there are giants that they will face as they lead, just as Caleb and Joshua did - they saw the same formidable people that the other ten saw. The difference between Joshua, Caleb and the other ten spies is that they also understood that if they followed God where He was leading them that they would prevail.

In God's strength, what look like giants to us are not to God. How is your leadership board doing in facing down the giants?

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Legacy

I love old grave yards. Every headstone has a story and one gets only a glimpse of that story by what is written and the years that were lived. Mostly you are left wondering - and wishing one knew more. You are given a name, two dates and perhaps a small glimpse of their live - especially on older gravestones.

Actually the most important letter on a gravestone is not a letter at all but a dash. The dash between the date of birth and the date of death. That dash represents the time that God gave that individual to make a difference for Him. So, I wonder, what happened during their dash between birth and death - their allotted time?

For those who were people of faith- given the verses or attributes carved in stone I wonder what challenges they faced. But mostly I wonder who they influenced for Christ who may be alive today generations later! Because in the end that is what we leave - others we have influenced for Christ who carry on a Godly presence in our world. All of us are the recipients of a Christian witness that goes back in some way to the time of Christ.

It is interesting that most of us cannot remember the name of our great grand parents (apart from those who study their family genealogy) . That is how fast memory fades as each generation looks to the future not the past. But God always remembers - as He does the contribution we made to His kingdom which continues to ripple generation after generation. That is the true story of the headstones of God's people. That is the story they tell. It is the story I want mine to tell long after my name is forgotten.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Brokenness transformed by grace

Failure has many benefits. Once I have failed I no longer need to worry about failing (been there done that). I no longer need to worry about my pride getting hurt – I've been there. I don’t need to keep up the pretense of success – I blew that record. And, I can identify with 99% of the world who has also experienced failure at one time or another.


Our world celebrates success and denigrates failure (unless you are a Hollywood celebrity and fail spectacularly in which case you are now a smashing success in some twist of logic). But the truth is that the most valuable lessons we learn are through failure, not success and our transparency about our failures and pain is perhaps far more important than people learning of our successes. In failure the best lessons are learned, the best faith is forged and the best transformation takes place. So, why would we hide our failures rather than share what God has done in us through them?

Our willingness to share our whole story where appropriate becomes a powerful encouragement to others who are often struggling with the same issues or believe that because they have “failed” God cannot use them. The fact is that many things we view as failures are not really failures at all but are so only in our own minds. Older leaders would do younger leaders a great favor if they would share their own stories more transparently. Often young leaders view their elders as having sailed through life with a minimum of pain and failure. Usually just the opposite is true.

My perspective on hard times is very different today than it was when I was a young leader. I understand success and failure differently, have the perspective of time to see how God used pain for my benefit, and have seen His faithfulness in what looked like impossible situations. Not only did I not know all of those things as a young leader going through hard times but the advice I received then was not very helpful: God will work it all out! God did, but not in the way well intentioned people meant their advice. One of the realities is that some things don’t get worked out this side of heaven – no matter how hard one prays or how hard one tries.

God does not always fix broken situations. But He is always faithful in the process when we choose to press into Him in those broken situations. Faith is not believing that God intervenes in all situations but that He is faithful to us in the middle of brokenness. I wish I had that understanding as a young leader. I willing share my experiences today to encourage the next generation of leaders who are walking through their own broken places.

Success is not living without pain or tough times. Nor is it necessarily seeing spectacular ministry results – often it will not from our point of view. Success is faithfully living at the intersection of God’s gifting and His calling on our lives wherever that should be. Deep influence is not dependent on achieving success or acclaim by our peer’s standards but by cultivating the hidden practices we have been studying which mold a strong, deep, core of spiritual strength and resolve that influence all that we do and everything that we are.

All of us have paid our share of “dumb tax” – things that we would not do again and lessons learned the hard way. Our willingness to share our dumb tax with others can save them the pain of learning it themselves. I often ask leaders that question for my own benefit and encourage leaders to regularly share dumb tax with one another.

I am always amazed at the response from young and old leaders alike when I speak on pain, suffering and brokenness from a Biblical and personal perspective. I have had more than my share of these times including debilitating physical illness. People thank me over and over for sharing transparently. They are hungry for a perspective on their own situations and struggles and are encouraged that they are not alone.

We underestimate the place of sharing our experiences candidly along with God’s grace in the process. Each of us who is faithful is simply one more in the line of the heroes named in Hebrews 11 who lived by faith even when the chips were down. There is power in stories of brokenness transformed by grace!

Ambition, money, power and ministry

Ministry not only attracts those who have a deep passion for God and the spread of the Gospel but it can also attract those who have personal and selfish ambition, are driven by money or power and who find ministry platforms a convenient means of realizing their ambitions.

Why choose a ministry platform? Because it is relatively easy to hide behind a facade of spirituality and ministry. It is just another platform to use for their own purposes and believers are not always as discerning as they ought to be.

There are signs of those who are more about ambition, money and power than they are about humble service.

World changers
I am always cautious about Christian leaders who are going to "change the world." Now I am a guy who loves great vision and we are praying that God would allow us to impact 100 million people with the gospel in ReachGlobal. But that is going to happen through indigenous movements in specific areas of the world as God works. No one can "change the world." Jesus will when He returns but grandiose claims are often more about the personal ambition of the one making them than they are about Jesus. I can impact corners of the world through the Holy Spirit. I cannot change the world.

Power brokers
I am always cautious about Christian leaders who broker power, are unaccountable to others and who make major ministry decisions by themselves rather than through team. Power is a dangerous thing and does not leave one unscathed. The healthiest leaders surround themselves with accountability through boards, team and live with great personal humility demonstrated through service to others rather than through power. When I don't see that I am very cautious. The more power one exercises autonomously the more dangerous it is to them and to others.

When it becomes about money
I deeply believe in Christian stewardship and live that out. When, however, ministry becomes more about money than anything else, where there is an emphasis on what money can do or when a leader has not used money with integrity beware. I have had a situation recently where I did an online ministry seminar for an individual before I did my due diligence by checking him out on the web. After all, many prominent names were attached to his "ministry."

When I Googled him I found that he was under several federal charges (regarding money) and was in litigation with a number of churches who charge him with defrauding them of half a million dollars. In addition he has a string of unpaid bills. It is a long list of financial issues. Yet his ministry is all about raising one billion dollars for ministry and he advertises himself as one who can help ministry find those dollars. Of course he will not take my content down because he is making money on it.

In another case in a church I am familiar with the theme became more and more about money and the pressure to give went up and up. Eventually the leader left and has since declared bankruptcy. 

Personal ambition, power and money are warning signs to beware because they can hide behind spiritual language and be lived out in the name of ministry. The ministry veneer does not make them OK.

The truth of the matter is that we often allow behaviors in ministry that would never be tolerated in the secular workplace and the sad thing is that those behaviors are often coated with a veneer of spiritual language that others find it hard to press back on. Bad behavior is bad behavior but it is worse behavior when it is coated in a spiritual facade because one is using the Holy to cover the unholy.

We are far too reluctant to confront unholy behavior in ministry settings under the guise of "grace." Grace, however does not allow sinful behavior. Rather it forgives sinful behavior when it has been confronted or acknowledged.

Jesus told us to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Wisdom is about recognizing what is spiritual and what is hiding behind a mask of spirituality. It is also about being aware of our own motivations in ministry because none of us are immune to what can happen when left to ourselves.

The discipline of listening

Listening - and actually hearing - is a discipline and practice that can help you grow and develop like few other practices. It is a sign of good emotional intelligence and of a secure, non-threatened individual. It also sends a strong message that those around us are important and that their voice counts. It is a posture of humility and valuing the worth of others.

Many people do not listen to others. They hear but they don't actually listen to what others are saying. Not listening is a sign of immaturity at the least and arrogance at the worst. We can be too busy, think we have the answers, don't want to hear what is being said or are perhaps threatened by what someone is saying.

Those who do not listen often pay a steep price. They do not hear personal feedback that would enable them to grow, advice that would keep them out of the ditch, feedback that could act as an early warning system that something is not right, counsel that can help them do what they do better or just information that would allow them to make better decisions.

The book of proverbs has a word for those who don't listen: fool. I don't like that word. Ironically, those who don't listen see themselves as wise - they have the answers. But the reality is that they are foolish and eventually pay the price for their foolishness!

Wise individuals do listen. They listen to those who agree with them and those who do not. They listen to good news and bad news. They actively seek counsel, opinion, feedback, and want to know what others are thinking. They are secure enough to know that even negative feedback is often really positive feedback because it allows them to grow.

Insecure individuals - the fool in Proverbs - would rather not know, or hear, or face the reality of what others might think. It is a trajectory that will eventually end up in the ditch, with a whole lot of pain.

The discipline of listening - and really hearing others - is a posture of humility that understands and communicates:

-I don't have all the answers
-I want to hear your opinion
-I am open to your feedback
-I need your counsel
-It is not about me but about us
-I want to be more effective
-I would rather know about bad news than not know - even if it is painful to  me
-I want to keep learning and growing
-I do not need to be right
-I have nothing to prove and nothing to lose
-There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors

One last thought. In order to listen we need to take the time. Those who don't take the time to listen to those around them are as foolish as those who don't want to listen to others. Both have the same effect.

How well are you doing in the discipline, practice, art, humility, of listening?