Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Our personal joy and happiness are always a matter of focus


There is one critical difference between those people who live with great happiness and those who live with great unhappiness. The former focus on the blessings in their lives while the latter focus on the deficits in their lives. It is a matter of focus and it makes the difference between a life of joy and a life of unhappiness.

Our personal happiness is not dependent on our life circumstances. It is dependent on our focus. Having travelled the world and met people who live in extreme poverty but who know Christ I am always amazed at their joy. In conversations they tell me about all the blessings they have because of Jesus. I meet other believers who have all the material blessings who are deeply pessimistic about their circumstances. Regardless of our life situation we always have a choice as to our focus: A focus on Jesus and His blessings or a focus on ourselves and our problems. Our focus will determine our level of joy and happiness.

Those who choose to focus on their situation and problems will never be truly happy because there focus is in the wrong place. Think about the Psalms David wrote. They deal with real life but time after time David refocuses his mind on the blessings of God who is our rock, our fortress, our protector, our provider, our healer, our Savior and the list goes on and on. Even in the depths of personal despair David kept his focus on the One who could bring happiness, joy and was the source of his life. David's life was far from easy for many years, yet he retained a positive outlook by focusing on God and His blessings and provision.

When we focus on our problems and circumstances we put the source of our happiness into the hands of life which will surely disappoint. When we focus on Jesus and His blessings we put the source of our happiness into the hands of the only One who can truly give it. As the Psalmist says, "I pray to you, O Lord, for the time of your favor. O God! In your great kindness answer me with your constant help. Answer me, O Lord, for bounteous is your kindness; in your great mercy turn toward me. I am afflicted and in pain; let your saving help, O God, protect me. I will praise the name of God in son, and I will glorify him with thanksgiving."

One of my regular habits it to journal. I am frank and honest in what I write. But I find myself reflecting often on the blessings of God in my life and it changes everything when I focus on the many blessings He gives on a daily basis. It is all too easy to miss those blessings when our focus in in the wrong place. Focus on Him and we see His blessings. Focus on ourselves and we miss them. Every day we have a choice. And it is a powerful choice.



Friday, July 8, 2016

The spelling of personal success


I saw this notice yesterday in a store I visited and was immediately struck by how much of our definition of success is dictated by our culture and how little by both common sense and Jesus. The other thing that struck me was how often we don't evaluate our own assumptions and definitions. It is why this blackboard is so striking. It visually shows what happens when we do and in doing so causes us to pay attention.

I took the time recently to rethink my own definition of success. It is an exercise that is worth doing. Think of the broad categories of your life and then consider what you really believe success looks like. You may, like me, find yourself crossing some things out and writing a better definition. 



Sunday, July 3, 2016

For those whose marriages did not turn out the way they anticipated


Life often does not turn out the way we thought it would and this is often true in marriages. If you are struggling in your marriage this is a powerful, powerful song by Casting Crowns.




Friday, July 1, 2016

Terrorism and missions


This has been a banner year for terrorism around the world from Syria to Turkey, Paris, Orlando, Bangladesh, Iraq, and the list could go on for a long time. Terrorism is meant to strike fear in others and it does it very well. It can also put a damper on missions efforts globally as family objects to their children going into what they perceive to be "harms way."

While we do not live in a safe world it is also true that disparate events become much larger than they are because of the news cycle. The networks hunger for big stories and they will feed off those stories as long as they can until the next big story appears. I do not mean to minimize the evil nature of these events but to say that the worlds is not as dangerous as it might appear if our data comes primarily from the 24 hour news cycle.

It is also true that missions has an inherent risk. Whether from traffic accidents in developing world settings, sickness, the frequent travel, being in the wrong place at the wrong time or even being a target of those who hate Christianity. It is a risk that missionaries are willing to take given their calling and most missionaries are by nature more willing to step out of their comfort zone than are others. In addition, because of their travel and knowledge of the world they are often more aware of the true risks and of ways to minimize those risks. I have often travelled in places that the State Department issues warnings for and trust the knowledge of the local hosts who understand what is safe and what is unsafe.

The spread of the Gospel is not without risk and yet without someone stepping out with the best news the world has ever known we do not fulfill the Great Commission which calls us to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth with the promise that Christ is with us each step of the way. Ironically, it is often in places that are most insecure that the Gospel flourishes as individuals look for answers to the insecurity of their own lives and are far more open to Christ because of it.

Most mission agencies are prudent when it comes to risks to their personnel as they should be. But at the end of the day, if God calls individuals to represent him on the front lines - as He did Paul - we need to also trust Him to be with them. Western missionaries are no less exempt from persecution and danger than are national missionaries who often work in very troubled and dangerous places. As Jim Elliott said so presciently before his own death, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

If you have pangs of fear for those you support on the mission field, reread the Great Commission and consider it in its fullness. As Scripture says, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."






My seat on the bus does not fit me anymore

It happens: roles that once were energizing and satisfying become stale, frustrating and no longer fulfilling. We change, organizations change, leadership changes or our interests change and we need a new challenge. Maybe in a different seat on the same bus or on a different bus entirely. What we need to realize in this situation is that the longer we stay were we are the more frustrated we will be.

The largest factor in not being proactive in looking for a new challenge is comfort. We are comfortable with what we know even when it is no longer satisfying. Job dissatisfaction, however, is a sure sign that we are in the wrong place. And that dissatisfaction is an indication that we cannot be all that we should be in that role and perhaps in that organization.

Which raises a new issue: We were designed to be productive and  use our God given gifts in a role that allows us to do so. When we settle for a role that does not fit us we compromise that opportunity. And our happiness or fulfillment.

What do we do when restless? Here are some suggestions:
  • Take a good look at what you are really good at and what you are honestly not good at.
  • Ask the question - what fills my tank and what depletes me?
  • What kind of culture do I want to work in?
  • What kind of leadership do I do best with?
  • If I could design the perfect job what would it look like?(knowing that we won't get it all)
  • Start looking for a position that allows you to maximize your God given gifts.
To the extent that we have the opportunity to position ourselves within our gifting we ought to pursue that goal. And we should not settle for a seat that does not fit us.




Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Showing grace to ourselves

There are many of us, me included, who need to learn how to be more gentle on ourselves where we don't meet our own standards. Obsessing about a meeting or presentation that could have gone better, beating ourselves up for an idea that failed. Or for believers, being willing to forgive ourselves and let it be when God has forgiven us instead of continuing to resaw the sawdust in our own minds leaving us living in guilt instead of the freedom we have through forgiveness. Satan loves to keep us from experiencing the freedom we have in Christ. He came to redeem and forgive and give us freedom.

Reflect on how Jesus treats us. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)."

If Jesus is gentle with us why are we not gentle with ourselves? If he wants to give us rest for our weary and sinful souls why do we not live in that rest? If he wants to grant us freedom, why would we not live in that freedom? In essence when we do not forgive ourselves when He has we are not fully accepting his gift of forgiveness. And, living in guilt and shame leaves us open to the attack of the evil one in a special way.

All of us live with regrets and past failures. Jesus came to free us from that through His redemption and forgiveness. We are not perfect and will not be till we see Him. Part of followership of Jesus is accepting His grace in our lives and living in grace rather than in guilt and shame. Which are you living in today?






Monday, June 27, 2016

5 marks of humility among leaders



Leadership humility is easily lost as leaders see success and begin to believe that they have all the answers. That is not lost on those they lead. However, there are five practices that can help leaders stay humble and lead with humility. They will also help her/him lead better.

First: I don't have all the answers. We all know that people who think they have all the answers are self-deluded. One of the most humble attitudes leaders can model is that of communicating to their staff that "we have challenges we need to solve, and we need to figure out solutions together because I don't know the best way forward. I may have ideas but I am open to dialogue, discussion and other ideas."

This paves the way for the second practice: I want your input and I will listen to what you have to say. It is amazing what solutions emerge when we are willing to actively solicit opinions and ideas from those around us. And then actively listen to others, no matter where they are in the organization or team. Leaders who actively ask questions, listen well and show respect for the ideas of others lead better and have better information. They also know what their staff are thinking.

Third, if something goes wrong I will take the hit and protect my staff. This is a real test of humility. All of us want to blame others when things go wrong but the best leaders take the blame when there is a problem. Behind the scenes, they may need to have hard conversations but in public they are willing to take the blame for the team.

Fourth, when things go right they give the credit to the team. No leader sees success without the hard work of a team and the best leaders give that team the credit for success. Humble leaders do not call attention to themselves but to the team that did the work together. One of the quickest ways to lose the respect of others is to take credit for what the team did.

Which leads to the fifth practice. A culture where we "do things together."  Staff are not servants to a leader. A leader is an active member of the staff as together they tackle the problems and opportunities they face. "We are in this together" is a powerful ethos for leaders to cultivate with their staff.

Humility is not simply a matter of our heart but it is a matter of our practices in leadership.